Dental Clinic

This is where people in Inisfree go to get their teeth checkups.

 

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Table of Contents:

  1. Introduction
  2. Usage
  3. Frequency
  4. Example Inisfreean Teeth/Smiles

 

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Introduction:

Inisfreean dental science is starkly contrasted to Outlander dental science and practices. Inisfreeans do not use scraping tools, nor do they apply spacers, braces, dentures, or head-gear. Inisfreean dentists can solve nearly any conceivable dental problem by simply licking the teeth and gums of the patient (because of how many millions of helpful microbial items are transferred with each kiss).  This works to cure halitosis, as well, although most of these ailments are usually instantly cured upon reaching the first (outermost) chamber of the Pearly Gates; proximity to Inisfreeans -especially when in their realm- is enough to right just about any wrong.

 

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Usage:

Inisfreeans needing any dental assistance for straight teeth or cleaning is virtually unheard of, usually only being attributed to incredible surprises during combat operations.  Thus, this Inisfreean dental facility, one of the wings of its only hospital, are typically only utilized by Outlanders visiting the city as guests.

 

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Frequency:

Dental check-ups are bi-annual, mandatory, and free for all Inisfreeans.  Due to this, along with the wizardry-level of Inisfreean dental science, gingivitis and periodontitis do not exist in Inisfree. However, if you French kiss enough Inisfreean girls, you’ll probably never need to come to this dental facility, for their saliva perfects, not just fixes, teeth and gums. This clinic is more for newcomers seeking an alternative to the ridiculous, barbaric, Outlander dental practices which cause more cavities and gum decay than they remedy, due to the stressed Outlander dental clinics heap upon their clients with bills, thoughtless spells, and scraping by sharp tools instead of loving caresses.

 

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Additional Notes:

Inisfreean dental hygiene and orthodontics involve absolutely no metal tools, braces, spacers, retainers, dentures, caps, fluoride, or mercury-based fillings.

Decay isn’t just something that happens to teeth; it is caused by eating death waste; products from poorly-farmed/sprayed land instead of vision-held crops whose growers together held a stable mental picture of those plants/lifeforms being normal-sized (what humans call “giant”) and immortal/eternal (normal health, at least before the humans invaded Earth from The Abyss).

In Februus of 2023, High King Auzdein von Himmler suspected the permanent bar installed by an Outlander dentist may have been a mild form/equivalent of Kryptonite to him, so he had it removed, his brilliant/genius ICVs/ICs perfecting his teeth-roots so it wouldn’t need that anymore, anyway.  Sure enough, his only form of decay stopped, and his health further improved.  This is Inisfree, amen.

 

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Example Inisfreean Teeth/Smiles:

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