Dining Law

These laws govern how civilized people eat their meals.  It should go without saying, but 100% of meals around humans were disgusting and shocking disasters for more than forty years, so laws about how to dine had to be drafted and enforced.  The following details cover a variety of dining topics/scenarios, including etiquette at any table meant for meals.

 

–

Definition:

 

–

Range of Corrective Measures the Inisfreeans Can Enforce:

*The minimum, recommended, and maximum sentencing and fines (usually in the form of females or free labor, since we don’t use money) are decided by Inisfreeans on a case-by-case basis, considering all factors of the given situation, never defaulting to unilateral or draconian decisions voted on by judges or masses based on previous cases or rulings.

• Typically, the minimum fine for a first offense is a warning, and there is no sentencing,
• while the recommended fine and sentencing are, respectively, indefinitely surrendering the sexiest human female crew member or relative of the members of the offending party/group/company (so that she be used as a sex slave for so long as she is pleasing and attractive to us), then (the offenders, not the confiscated/surrendered girl) serving “hard time” in a concentration camp made just to guarantee round-the-clock free and fully-monitored menial/unskilled labor from humans (and we have no “white collar” prisons or other “lighter touch” facilities for the economically-spoiled/pampered).  Again, the logic and focus is:  more of better-controlling the confused/demonic human, rather than attempting to fine it back into submission or other reasonable behavior.  When fines are ordered, since we don’t use paper or metal money like humans do, only perfect females will do –just like how humans only accept perfect dollars/coins; no damage, missing pieces (such as faulty personalities, in the case of our ‘living currency’), etc..
• The maximum fine is always 100% of the female crew members AND relatives of the offending party; every female working with them AND known to them, which we are attracted to, and the maximum sentencing we put upon offending humans is, of course, death by torture (typically doing to them whatever they did to their victims, such as animals they exploit for “food”, clothing, or other animal products).  Humans never learned in countless trials/tests/opportunities, so there is no point jailing/incarcerating them, nor is there any benefit to ‘rehabilitating’ them or putting them through other re-education programs.  They have always been bullies, psychopaths, and monsters, and those creatures only understand and yield to greater force, thus the trial-less confiscations and torture employed to keep their lowly species in check now, once and for all.  In some cases, though, lifetimes of torture, and the crippling and ‘glassing’ of entire worlds, is in order –and does occur.

 

–

Laws:

1. First and foremost, the meal should never begin if its contents/ingredients were prepared via rape (i.e. in the dairy industry) or murder (i.e. the meat/fishing industry/ies).  There is nothing polite about raping and murdering other beings to feast on their corpses and on the milk stolen from their babies.  You can’t have any etiquette if you aren’t being polite in general / at all.
2. If those who are not yet sexually mature/ready are present at a dining event, they should be clothed and fully versed in dining etiquette; never should they be present in an unappetizing way, or allowed to do things that not proper in a dinning establishment/setting.
3. Every table meant for dining should and must be kept clean, free of crumbs and spills, so that the diners can easily/effortlessly focus on the meal and togetherness.
4. The ‘atmosphere’/ambiance/vibe should always be one that facilitates a pleasant, satisfying, and relieving dining experience; fast-paced music should not be played, for example, and the lighting should be normal to romantically dim/indirect.
5. Silverware and glasses need not always be arranged a certain way, or even present (cups and non-silver eating utensils, such as chopsticks, are perfectly fine in many settings/eateries), but care should always be taken to at least ensure every utensil, drink container, plate/saucer, and bowl, etc., are clean, free of any specks and smudges.
6. Only topics appetizing to King Auz may be spoken of when at any gathering involving eating or drinking; no disgusting remarks may be uttered within hearing range of any table or picnic blanket with food or drinks being consumed or about to be consumed, or at/in/near any other gathering place where those compatible with Inisfree are intending to begin or continue eating or drinking.  Violating this law may result in incarceration –if not termination on-sight.
7. Only those King Auz wishes to be naked at the/any (dining) table may/can be, and that is always only the females he is attracted to.  Violators of this law will be slain by any means necessary/desired, as indecent exposure is one of the worst capital offenses across Creation.
8. No one may put their feet or anything dirty on any table intended for dining/meals –and this includes pets.  Ever.
9. Pets are not allowed anywhere near any dining table, or even inside the dining room, or even inside the dining establishment, in cases of restaurants, cafes, bars, and so on.  Violators of this law will have their right to own/foster pets permanently removed, and their pet/s will be given to a more civilized owner.  *The exception is kajirae; girls kept as pleasure slaves, provided they conduct themselves maturely at/near the table, and provided they do not sit on any of the chairs, are permitted in dining rooms and near dining tables.
10. Poisons/toxins are never to be at any dining table or food/drink-based event; alcohol is banned, as are the containers for alcoholic beverages, even if they are empty souvenirs.  They will still smell/reek of the foul odors of the garbage liquid/s they once contained.  Any being with a normal sense of smell can/will detect this.
    Anything nonvegan is poisonous/toxic/wrong.
11. Showing pictures/videos/recordings of anything King Auz does not find appetizing/appealing is strictly forbidden, and violating this law will result in the phone/computer/device being confiscated, likely permanently, if not purged/destroyed.  The violator/s will also be subject to corporal punishment, and have his/her/their right to possess/operate that and any similar devices permanently revoked.
12. Before you dine with someone, make sure you understand how they prefer to dine, and do not ever dare cross the proverbial lines they spell out.
13. Do not invite someone to dine with you if you intend to pressure them to violate their principles, such as meat-eaters offering non-vegan things to vegans.
14. Repeat violators of any of these laws may be subject to some of the harshest punishments around, as Inisfreeans correctly take all meals, and eating/dining in general, to be as sacred as sleep and fucking.  Repeat violators may be fed alive to wild animals, they themselves (the violators) having by that point clearly demonstrated that they are nothing more than wild animals who should be consumed the same way they trap, abuse, and consume their pointlessly/heartlessly non-vegan food/drinks.
15. Kajirae always eat on the floor, except in special moments where they have earned extra closeness and human/free-person conditions from their Master/s.  This honors/caters to their femininity, and real/normal females prefer being distinct in this and many other ways, always submitting, always being lesser –in the attractive/beautiful/balancing/sexy way.
16. Kajirae should almost always eat from a Master’s hand, if not a trough.  They should also almost always drink while down on all fours, typically from a hose spigot, trough, or stream.  Again, this respects and honors their nature; all sexy females prefer eating / being fed this way.  There is nothing sexy or even normal about a female protesting or desiring something other than what is natural for their sex/gender.
17. Not a single chemical should ever be in water served for drinking; it should and must be pure, and knowing/willful violators of this law may be subject to drowning –if not, at least, supervised hyper-hydrosis (forcing them to drink more water than their bodies can process).
    If you put fluoride in drinking water, or claim that fluoride is good for people, we will kill you and probably nuke your entire city.
18. Not a single chemical/preservative/coloring should ever be in food; it should only contain natural ingredients with easily identifiable names, such as cinnamon and flour.
    Obvious exceptions are things such as beet extract/juice; natural colorings with no side-effects / health-risks.
19. Hosts/hostesses/owners/Masters should always do everything they can to ensure no bugs (mini demons/pests) can get anywhere near the dining tables they are responsible for.  Violators of this law may have their dining room / restaurant indefinitely shut down; until they are able to fix/resolve the problem/infestation.
    Appropriate/civilized dining establishments will have bug-repelling plants, ointments/oils, and mosquito-shooting mini-lasers installed.
20. Food and drinks must only be prepared in controlled environments where no contaminants or bugs/pests can get in, and anytime there is a spill, trash, or mold, etc., it must be immediately cleaned up in a way that has zero risk of getting particles of either the mess and/or the cleaning agents/tools in any of the food/drinks.
    If any human has been vaccinated, that human must be kept away from all food preparation forever, as they are contaminated/corrupted/unclean/unholy/unworthy in terms of mind/soul and blood/body.
21. Food and drinks must be stored at appropriate temperatures so they do not spoil before serving, and must be cycled every time, ensuring older food and drinks are consumed before the more-recent ones that were prepared/stocked.
22. Any food/drinks that are near expiration must be composted appropriately.
23. Uneaten food and unconsumed drinks at a table must be composted, if not donated, never merely thrown out as waste.
24. In Inisfreean society, a female must be flawlessly beautiful before she can be interviewed to determine if she is also mentally worthy of joining Inisfreeans and their allies at any dining table or dining event.
25. In Inisfreean society, any female deemed beautiful and compatible enough to join us at any dining table/event should open doors and pull out chairs for the males, and should warmly greet everyone, including/especially other females –and this includes the kajirae allowed to be present.  More specifically, females at these meals/events are expected to make out with each other, and to smile genuinely while listening to and encouraging each other.  This is the Way.  This is pure femininity, which is holy.
26. Sexual interaction is permissible at the table, provided it is between attractive people –and “attractive” is defined solely by King Auz.  One example is a sexy girl offering a blowjob to a male at the table, especially if she leans over and down from her chair beside him, helping everyone to notice and enjoy the show.  Another example is a sexy girl casually jacking off the guy to her side, while her other hand casually fingers the girl seated at her other side, all the while carrying on with the normal conversation across the table.
27. If sexy girls are not available for use, and if all girls at the table/event are not sexy and making themselves available for use, the meal/gathering is lacking in normal/civilized dining etiquette, and should not be hosted/continued; meals are about togetherness, and there is no true togetherness when cultural incompatibility is part of the equation.
28. Burping and belching is fine –within reason; males can do it at certain times, and females are permitted to join in when invited to, as long as it is amusing to Auz.
29. Farting, at least audibly, is not permitted.  Any fart that may smell should only be released far from the table/food/drinks and, of course, somewhere downwind.
    If you fart on purpose as part of your passive-aggressive evil, especially in the presence of Auz, you will be beaten within an inch of your life, suffocated on and off (or left in a gas chamber full of far more fart-gas than you released) until it pleases us to let you breathe normally again, and then likely raped to death by monsters –anally.
30. Blowing one’s nose at the table, or within hearing range of it, is not permitted.
    No matter what waste your body is evacuating/expelling, you’d better do it somewhere where none of us can see, hear, or smell it.
31. Coughs and yawns should be covered with the palm of one’s own hand.
    There are a few exceptions, such as when it is polite / cutely done by a sexy female, but that is about it.
    Coughing is not an appropriate way to get any of our attention, or to passively protest something you just heard.
32. Anytime someone feels in disagreement with someone else at a/the table/event, he/she should excuse his/herself, not sit there, becoming entrenched and moody.  Again, atmosphere/ambiance is key.  Vibes tell all, and only certain vibes are appropriate in civilized places / at times such as when eating.
33. Toasts are permitted, but should not be part of every meal; meals should be casual, more often than not, helping the food to fully settle, as intended.
34. An occasional ceramic mug made for breaking can sometimes be smashed on the floor when a beverage is extremely to one’s liking, but this should be done with care, as its fragments have the potential to land in some of the food/drinks.
    Do not smash/shatter such mugs in places not meant for that, such as in The Governor’s Mansion –or anywhere a fragment/particle might end up in someone’s drink or food.
35. All dishware, silverware (or electrumware or other equivalents; any eating utensils), placemats, and table cloths (if not also seat cushions, in some cases) should be cleaned and air/sun-dried after a meal/gathering, excepting in cases when absolutely nothing was spilled/dropped on them.
    Putting soap on them is the opposite of cleaning, especially if it is a detergent made by Outlander humans; that covers them in harmful chemicals, not cleaning them at all.
36. Noise-making toys/games/devices must never be at the table; the only sounds should be from the people dining and conversing.
    Don’t smack or chew with your lips open/parted, by the way.
37. A meal is supposed to be a celebration of culinary mastery and compatible people reuniting, nothing less, and nothing more.
    Celebrate the way Auz has taught/instructed/commanded you to, and be grateful for this guidance, and be eager to comply with it/him.

As these laws become more specific and lengthy, they will each be given a paragraph/section of their own on this web-page; they will no longer be listed as numbered bullet-notes here.

 

–

video