Hairstyles Law

It is immoral to have certain hairstyles, or even to have bad hair-care habits.

 

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Range of Corrective Measures the Inisfreeans Can Enforce:

*The minimum, recommended, and maximum sentencing and fines (usually in the form of females or free labor, since we don’t use money) are decided by Inisfreeans on a case-by-case basis, considering all factors of the given situation, never defaulting to unilateral or draconian decisions voted on by judges or masses based on previous cases or rulings.

  • Typically, the minimum fine for a first offense is a warning, and there is no sentencing,
  • while the recommended fine and sentencing are, respectively, indefinitely surrendering the sexiest human female crew member or relative of the members of the offending party/group/company (so that she be used as a sex slave for so long as she is pleasing and attractive to us), then (the offenders, not the confiscated/surrendered girl) serving “hard time” in a concentration camp made just to guarantee round-the-clock free and fully-monitored menial/unskilled labor from humans (and we have no “white collar” prisons or other “lighter touch” facilities for the economically-spoiled/pampered).  Again, the logic and focus is:  more of better-controlling the confused/demonic human, rather than attempting to fine it back into submission or other reasonable behavior.  When fines are ordered, since we don’t use paper or metal money like humans do, only perfect females will do –just like how humans only accept perfect dollars/coins; no damage, missing pieces (such as faulty personalities, in the case of our ‘living currency’), etc..
  • The maximum fine is always 100% of the female crew members AND relatives of the offending party; every female working with them AND known to them, which we are attracted to, and the maximum sentencing we put upon offending humans is, of course, death by torture (typically doing to them whatever they did to their victims, such as animals they exploit for “food”, clothing, or other animal products).  Humans never learned in countless trials/tests/opportunities, so there is no point jailing/incarcerating them, nor is there any benefit to ‘rehabilitating’ them or putting them through other re-education programs.  They have always been bullies, psychopaths, and monsters, and those creatures only understand and yield to greater force, thus the trial-less confiscations and torture employed to keep their lowly species in check now, once and for all.  In some cases, though, lifetimes of torture, and the crippling and ‘glassing’ of entire worlds, is in order –and does occur.

 

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Laws:

  1. Only hairstyles King Auz approves of are appropriate, fashionable, and legal.
  2. Wanting any hairstyle other than what King Auz likes is a sign of insanity, and is a crime.
  3. Females should have feminine hairstyles, their hair kept long, and either down and flowing, or put up into stylish buns or braids.
  4. Males should have masculine hairstyles, their hair being long or short, provided it looks manly, such as how the Vikings wore theirs.
  5. Females with short hair, such as a buzzcut or shaved side, can be put down on sight.
  6. Males with feminine hairstyles, such as buns or ribbons in it, can be put down on sight.
  7. Hair must be kept clean, avoiding the use of shampoos and conditioners with sulfates.
  8. No dyes, sprays, or other chemicals should be applied to hair.
  9. Pigtails and ponytails are acceptable on females, provided they look sexy to King Auz.
  10. One’s hair should look/be natural, never with sloppy highlights, or looking mangy / ratty.
  11. Proper/attractive hairstyling is more important to health and community than most humans realize/understand, and shall always be taught as one of the core-curriculum subjects in Inisfree’s school system.
  12. Unattractive humans are not permitted to have attractive hairstyles; they must keep covered up, not attempting to mix good things with bad ones.

As these laws become more specific and lengthy, they will each be given a paragraph/section of their own on this web-page; they will no longer be listed as numbered bullet-notes here.

 

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