Note from the Editor:

The last duties most Marines have are their final base chores –‘base’ in multiple senses of the term.  This means, as we begin to exit our units and the entire military, all they can have us do is clean or ‘guard’ our barracks, since we cannot legally be sent off with the rest of our buddies for more training or missions.  These simpler, intermittent, busy-work tasks feel more like the chores we grew up with… than anything military, heroic, or even marginally admirable.

My final base chores involved a lot of sweeping ‘catwalks’ (outdoor walkways and breezeways) that were already clean, void of any sand or other debris.  I also had to wear ‘the duty belt’ while I spent my weekends walking ‘endless’ laps around those catwalks and breezeways, making sure all the idiot Marines weren’t drinking themselves to death, killing themselves, starting skirmishes with the P.O.G. barracks, or otherwise getting into mischief our higher-ups would have periods and tantrums about.  Having become a skate master, learned who to trust in the Lance Corporal Underground, and been mind-rot qualified, I made full use of these times and opportunities.  I was a very approachable and surprisingly-cool ‘duty NCO’ walking around, even drinking on duty at times; a true ‘field Marine’.  This earned me a lot of trust and slack from those also stuck in the barracks and on base when I was.

I turned my final base chores into more of my own (self-assigned) tasking.  When Marines fucked up, or had fucked up in the past, I gave them sneaky tastes of their own medicine.  The result was a treasure trove I made use of for years after these well-timed ‘chores’ moments, and none the wiser.  (They’d all been reduced by the mind-rotting boredom none of them knew how to handle, so there was little chance of my corrective measures being noticed, anyway.)  All details are classified, and probably always will be.

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