Note from the Editor:
My return to CONUS; the CONtinental United States, was relieving but lackluster one. I was thrilled to have survived my missions and made it back. I was thrilled to no longer have as many duties or threats to deal with. I was even thrilled that my relatives hadn’t decided to show up and ruin the homecoming like they’d ruined other graduations and post-graduation milestones.
Most of the Marines who returned with me got off the buses at the parade lawn and hugged their families, went off to fuck their unfaithful wives, or started dealing with the financial holocausts that their now-exes had created for them while they were still on deployment on the other side of the world. I was the ‘black sheep’ of all those Marines; I ignored the band, families, and my buddies, walked straight over to the PX, bought a gallon of milk, and chugged it on the way back to the barracks. (We didn’t have the same kind of milk overseas that we have here in the States, and I’d been missing what I’d grown up drinking almost daily.)
Just about everyone started drinking again, now that they were back and could. They got stereos and gaming systems, and played them loud. They went to shady clubs and lame parties, and got a lot of ugly women pregnant with uglier spawns. They trashed their bodies and minds even more than the exhausting patrol schedules had during our deployments. It would take more miracles to keep them all alive now that they were back home –even more, arguably, than we’d had ‘in theater’ facing daily rifle, mortar, and rocket-fire.
Returning to CONUS can be deadlier than leaving it. Many Marines vaporized themselves riding their motorcycles too fast, getting involved in State-side black ops, overdosing, and more; it was too much to ask that these men, trained so long and only for the worst battles, behave like boring sheepish ‘normals’ again. (Maybe that was part of the plan; the fewer that survive, one way or another, the more resources there suddenly are to be redistributed to everyone else; simple war-economics.) The luckier ones managed to survive this return, albeit with growing and lifelong debts from their bad relationship decisions. Welcome home.
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Actual Advertisements:
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Vocab of the Day:
- blumpkin: when a girl gives you a blowjob while you are on the toilet taking a shit
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Advertisement Parodies:
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Articles:
2005-2006 articles are here.
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Artwork:
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Comic Strips:
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News Stories:
The Shift of 2012: details on the many aspects of this event which relocated so many beings
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Poking Fun at Fake News:
CBS is another prime example of completely fake news. Notice how it, ABC, CNN, and all the other “three-letter agencies” cover the same stories at the same times in the same way. Why would all their coverage, and all their viewpoints, …be so regurgitated… and formatted? Uniform.
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Meme Faves:
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Military Memes:
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Screenshots:
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