Illinois

This was another place I’d never planned on being, yet which kept letting me sample interested women and calling me back, eventually to the point of all its finest.

 

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Table of Contents:

1. Phase 1
2. Phase 2
3. Phase 3
4. Returning to the Cloud Gate and Beyond
5. Best Hotels
6. Richest Neighborhoods
7. Vegan Restaurants and Shops
8. Ancient Sites

 

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Phase 1:

My first trip here was practically a disaster; I stumbled upon the rudest, angriest, most intrusive people I’ve met since Texas, and a day spent literally running for shelter to avoid freezing to death even at high-noon downtown.  I did get to see Medieval Times for the first time, though, and I narrowly survived one of the local’s eruptions of road-rage while being driven at break-neck speeds along the icy slush-covered western Chicago highway.  I guess I can still chalk that up as a win.  It certainly could be considered one after factoring in the skyscraper hotel suite I bedded down some sort of lingerie-wearing succubus in.

 

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Phase 2:

During my return, I met only polite hotties, and the loveliest of all visited me daily at my private hotel suite overlooking a much nicer side of the city.  Chicago really treated me well this time, and I felt almost like a king; everyone was nice, and I even had people waiting on my calls to deliver and park my rental.  Even in the banks and random upscale eateries, I encountered only goddesses-in-the-making.  I even savored the signature cold, fully conditioned for and expecting it this time.  The new playground and high-rises were very nice, the parking was usually nearly empty, and the people asking for money were friendly rather than demanding.  I even got a wave of friend requests from hot foreign chicks who’d moved to this city, asking when I’d return.  Chicago, I will definitely come back.

 

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Phase 3:

In Phase 3, I’m forecasting that all of Illinois finest will make arrangements for me to orient to the rest of the great communities across the state.  The weather will be the mildest of all the times I’ve been here, and even trendier places than last time will open their doors to me, their hostesses and owners stopping for lengthy chats.  I’ll probably get gifts from the ‘underground’ elements, too, so that will be really fun.  There’s also an observation deck very high up which I’ve been meaning to check out.  Perhaps a party with all the best babes up there is in order, all of us dropped off by the new ‘Uber of the skies’; the networked helicopters of Blade (the app, not the film).

 

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Returning to the Cloud Gate and Beyond:

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Best Hotels

Allegro – a Kimpton Hotel:

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Dana Hotel & Spa – Chicago:

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Eagle Ridge Resort and Spa – Galena:

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Fairmont Chicago Millennium Park:

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Hard Rock Hotel – Chicago:

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Hilton Chicago:

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Hotel 71 – Chicago:

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Hotel Burnham – Chicago:

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Hotel Lincoln – Chicago:

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Hyatt Regency – Chicago:

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InterContinental – Chicago:

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MileNorth – Chicago:

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Millennium Knickerbocker Hotel:

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Omni Chicago Hotel:

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Park Hyatt Chicago:

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Public – Chicago:

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Raffaello Hotel:

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Sax Hotel:

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Sofitel Chicago Water Tower:

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Swissotel:

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The Drake:

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The James:

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The Palmer House Hilton:

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The Sutton Place Grande Hotel:

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The Westin Chicago River North:

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theWit – a Doubletree Hotel:

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Trump International Hotel & Tower:

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Richest Neighborhoods:

TBA

 

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Vegan Restaurants and Shops:

1. Liberation Kitchen
2. Under the Ground BloNo

more TBA…

 

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Ancient Sites:

TBA

probably quite a few that will be revealed/exposed when the modern constructs get deleted out of the way

 

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video