Iowa

I’m considering a new pass through this area, as I only passed through it before –and it may be on the way to one of my favorite places of all, so why not?

 

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Table of Contents:

  1. Phase 1
  2. Phase 2
  3. Phase 3
  4. Best Hotels
  5. Nicest Neighborhoods
  6. Vegan Restaurants and Shops
  7. Ancient Ruins

 

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Phase 1:

I passed through here at the tail-end of this phase’s disgusting bullshit while on a daring mission back into the heart of the Deep South, thinking there might be a chance to rescue another poisoned veteran from that region.  Plagued with a violently-wobbling vehicle, and few options to stop, rest, or stay, I pressed on, worried I might flip and die the whole time.  What I noticed were how bald, dead, and generally very ugly the hills and ridgelines looked all along my route –that, and the 3-story firecrackers store painted bright yellow and fire-engine red.

 

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Phase 2:

Iowa is usually first or second in the country in the production of corn, oats, soybeans, cattle, milk, and calves. The state harvests so much corn that it has been called the “Corn State” and “the land where tall corn grows”; definitely worth my return to check out and learn from for a few weeks or more, since Inisfree can benefit from all of those things, save perhaps the cattle.

Here are many other noteworthy facts I’ll be looking into a little further:

  • It is also home to the National Hobo Convention, which takes place every year in Britt in celebration of the American traveler.
  • Riverside, Iowa enjoys the unique status of being the future birthplace of one James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the starship USS Enterprise. Not only does this city get to bask in future glory, it also boasts being the home of the present Trekfest. As Kirk says, “No, I am from Iowa. I only work in outer space.”
  • Iowa is home to the “Eighth Wonder of the World,” as locals like to think of it; the Grotto of the Redemption, a religious monument in West Bend, is considered to be the world’s most complete man-made collection of minerals, fossils, and shells, the value of which is estimated to be more than $4.3 million.
  • Iowa’s state flower, the wild rose, may just save your life one day. It has been around for 35 million years and has long been used in ancient medicinal treatments. Its petals and rose hips are nutrient rich in Vitamins C, E and K, all of which produce strong antioxidant effects and strengthen the immune system.
  • May the Norsk be with you, at the annual Nordic Fest held in Decorah, which boasts Scandinavian fun for the whole family. One of the featured highlights of the event includes performances by the Decorah Nordic Dancers who start their illustrious career in third grade.
  • Nearly every single person (99 percent!) in Iowa can read—and with impressive numbers like that, Iowa easily has the highest literacy rate in the nation.
  • An asteroid or possibly a comet struck Earth near Mansfield a whopping 74 million years ago. The crater it created is hidden below the surface and stretches 24 miles in diameter.  Maybe there’s a Superman pod somewhere down there, or evidence that the impact was planned, perhaps even beneficial in many ways.  Then again, it could have been an entirely local (terrestrial) event, caused by an ancient power-station, ship, or other device overloading –or functioning as planned.
  • The largest cave in Iowa is Coldwater Cave which spans 16 miles. It has one natural underwater entrance at the base of a 100-foot cliff.  There is always the chance that it connects with lower, longer, ruin-filled caves, networking their way deep enough into the Earth’s crust to make the latest-discovered alternate route to the hollow core possible here.
  • Iowa actually has an island—Sabula—which has 576 inhabitants and is a popular summer beach destination for Chicagoans.
  • The East Okoboji River, the state’s longest, is a glacial pothole dating back 13,000 years to the most recent ice age.
  • The Kevin Costner flick “Field of Dreams” was set in Dubuque.
  • The ice cream capital of the world is right here in Le Mars, home to Wells Dairy (most well-known for its line of Blue Bunny sweets).
  • The international World Food Prize Award is based in Des Moines. The award, which recognizes achievements in food improvement and sustainability, includes a $250,000 cash pot.  I’ll definitely be reading up on all the winners; it’s time to apply their breakthroughs and other ideas to the facilities and restaurants of Inisfree.
  • Elk Horn is home to the largest rural Danish community outside of Denmark. It has 662 inhabitants and houses the Danish Immigrant Museum.
  • The term “Winnebago” derives from the town, Winnebago, where the motorhomes are manufactured.
  • “The Bridges of Madison County” was set in….Madison County, of course! The film features some of the covered bridges found throughout Iowa, including the longest, Holliwell Bridge.  The Red Delicious apple, once the single largest variety produced, was developed here in Madison County.
  • Iowa has more golf courses per capita than any other state in the U.S.
  • Iowa State University had a hand in developing the atomic bomb.
  • The Iowa 80, named so for its location along Interstate 80 in Walcott, is the world’s largest truck stop. It is set on 220 acres and receives 5,000 visitors every single day.
  • Ames, Iowa was recently listed by CNNMoney.com as the 9th best place to live.
  • Iowa is considered to be the safest state in the U.S. to live in —no small surprise, considering the state is comprised of 92% farmland.

Unfortunately for the girls of this state, it is illegal for a mustached man to kiss any of them in public, and since I’m keeping all my facial hair, I guess we’ll all just have to be criminals –at least until 3rd phase, at which point we will be in control of all the laws and enforcers.

 

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Phase 3:

After I investigate all of the above, I’ll be back for a much more leisurely visit.  My best way to orient to everything, assuming I don’t during this 2nd phase of world travels, looks to be a flight into Omaha right across the western border, and then a zig-zag north and south as I work my way from west to east, coming out into Illinois, at which point I might just return to the Chicago that has been vastly improved since my first visit over there.  Know where the hottest girls in all of Iowa are?  I’ll be traveling to this state of theirs during Phase 3 just for them.  Put us in touch.

 

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Best Hotels:

TBA

 

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Nicest Neighborhoods:

TBA

 

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Vegan Restaurants and Shops:

 

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Ancient Ruins:

Davenport’s stone tablets and giant remains/burials

 

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gallery (until my photos of expeditions to this land are uploaded here, see these)

video