IRLJ 2023

The year when all my life’s-work ideas and designs were finally wrapped up and let free, ready for further manifesting and final calibrations into perfection as I’d defined it…

 

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Table of Contents:

1. January
2. February
3. March
4. April
5. May
6. June
7. July
8. August
9. September
10. October
11. November
12. December

 

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January:

2022 was not at all the kind of year/location I’d wanted, but it was what I’d needed; nothing short of that much isolation and incompatible-communities/humanimals could have supercharged/accelerated the last wrapping-up of my life’s work.  Now I have all my bravery published online for the world to see, and all my innovations and breakthroughs, and lessons learned, also shared here for everyone for free.  There couldn’t be a greater collection of evidence of my interest in learning, exploring, bettering myself, being myself, rejecting all blatant evils, and being consistent about exactly who I want to meet and spend my time with.

I’m so glad I took the time (these past few decades) to have my own thoughts, share my own thoughts, check in person every possible land and community in order to find out where I shall be and what needs to change, and really confirm exactly what works for me and what doesn’t.  Doing all that has shown me who is sane, who is good, and who is right for me to stay in contact with.  Doing all that has revealed to me the truth/s about the whole world.

They say everything before age 40 is just research –or, at least, one person/author was quoted as having said that.  I certainly was researching that whole time.  Wow, what a ride; so much learned, and so many times the losers/nobodies tried to stop it all.

I wonder who (which of my dream-girls) will (be first/next to) answer my call/s now, I having broadcast the real me here and elsewhere for so long.

Things the main and final typist (writing/roleplaying partner) was in alignment with me on/about:

• affection
• aftercare
• backstories
• beauty
• family events; birthdays, concerts, hiking, holidays, Sundays, etc.
• fashion
• gestation rate
• growth rate of offspring
• home; how our house shall look, where it shall be, etc.
• introducing certain allies, employees, and servants
• loyalty/ies
• meals; dinner together at our family cabin table every evening, no matter what (perhaps only excepting some Saturdays when events/work in Inisfree require me to be there at that time)
• offspring appearances; choosing the appropriate/best/ideal vision to hold for creating beautiful daughters and handsome sons
• pets; bull, dog/hellhound, girls/kajirae, etc.
• plot-arc/s, mostly; uniting ourselves and our realms, starting and maintaining a great family forever, etc.
• privacy / personal space; what is fine to keep secret from one another, such as most ‘feedings’
• protection; how are guard-forces are
• reactions/responses to uninvited guests
• sexual orientations; which are right for us and our partners
• sleep; where we sleep, how long, how with, etc.
• teaching/training of our offspring
• treatment of intruders/thieves
• trips/vacations; where we go, when, why, etc. (such as to the secret nation hidden within modern Egypt)
• use of magic
• when god/goddess-mode is okay, even wonderful
• work; jobs, schedules, etc.
• and much more –damn near everything (which is a fantastic sign; we’re almost into Phase 3 (the final and permanent Golden Age), thanks to all that)

Things the typist/s still need/s to come into alignment with me on/about before in-person interaction/family can begin/manifest:

• IRL/OOC diet; non-alcoholic vegan for me, healthy as can be –and I’ll only be present for meals where everyone else is that healthy
• IRL/OOC directness/honesty; interactions should not be based on analogies or “beating around the bush”, implying things in a passive-aggressive way
• IRL/OOC exercise; no avoiding/insulting it; no negative reactions when it is mentioned
• IRL/OOC freedom of speech; it is no one’s place to try and ask me to limit my vocabulary; all should learn from my example, not try to change/end/shame it
• IRL/OOC manners; default-positivity to each other when a good point is made, listening to and considering valid points/logic/evidence, etc.
• IRL/OOC priorities; we must come first for each other, never strangers/TV
• IRL/OOC politics; none of that blatant scam can be permitted
• IRL/OOC religion; no modern/fake religions can be permitted
• IRL/OOC timing; the rate at which my loves contact me and show up to hang out (though it was arguably mostly good/okay so far, just not nearly as much as I would have preferred)
• IRL/OOC whether what’s on television is a real/correct or scams/salesmen
• and, of course, being present in-person, and staying teamed up, mutually-supporting each other, rather than just chatting/texting; actual doing/living, not just brainstorming/planning

 

1 January 2023, morning, ~10am:
Even when I wasn’t focused on travel, travel kept happening.
Even when I wasn’t wanting conflict or rude ppl at all, that kept happening, too;
what manifested back then WASN’T what I was focusing on.
People CLAIMING that what I focus on is what manifests were just more gaslighters/fools/demons/scum.
So maybe now that I am giving up on that whole “focus and hope” thing, …what I always wanted will manifest.
Sure, it could be argued that I was technically/indirectly focusing on travel/moving/relocating/exploring… after/bc so many behaved so awfully/insanely/incompatibly, but still; my focus was ALWAYS on meeting and positively interacting with polite good people, NOT on going solo to so many places.
Maybe it was those lands/places/times/moments that were ALSO focusing on Me, though; maybe THEY were manifesting ME coming alone, undistracted, thereby able to see ALL they had in store, NOT just the ppl back then.
Maybe the IDEAS are beings out there which can focus on and manifest things, too.

 

I was able to travel far and wide before –even as a poor man; with so little a budget, one might have assumed those trips/missions/expeditions were suicide, if not impossible before they even began.
I now consider that when only declaring my intention TO TRAVEL, …I had NOT said anything which would stimulate WHAT I found out there, only that I would get to GO.  That is the kind of risky/chaotic traveling featured in shows/series such as Star Trek.  Not surprisingly, I encountered a LOT of bad ppl, perhaps because I had not specified how they should be.  I kept saying I wanted to meet only good/compatible people, and said it more and more over the years, but that never ended up being the case, at least not yet.  (The closest any of them got… was ~1% being outwardly attractive.  Strange.  Maybe it’s just a progression toward the manifestation, as compatible people are “enough”; I would stop for them, or only travel WITH them, thus my heroism and exploits, arguably / more or less, ending.)

It is still in my blood/nature to explore, search, call out, team up, and be with only my people/kind, etc., and I embrace this, but I must accept the signs/facts/observations; the people just aren’t ready yet, not even close, so all I can do is keep waiting and working.  To relocate/’jump’ again at this point… would be to somewhat ‘regress’, so to speak, back into the focus on travel and surviving, not waiting for the right people to come into my life so I can finally have my peace and balance and dream-family.  Even though I can barely stand it where I am atm, I know I must wait and just keep working.  I know my spells manifest things, so why not?; why not make them perfect as can be.

This year started off with TITANIC/GIGANTIC tasks behind me, completed;

1. I now have a complete model of my dream-city that anyone worthy can tour; it is no longer just a ~3′-wide homemade-clay scale-model only I have in my room or stowed in the backseat of an expedition vehicle for safe-keeping.
2. I now have the start of a full-scale model of the entrance / first buildings/rooms of my dream-city, too.
3. I now have the nearly-completed full-scale models of all my own airline/Spaceline air/Spacecraft, also accessible/tour-able to anyone worthy.
4. I now have my own meetings-server.
5. All RP/creative-writing is behind me, no longer needed (and, of course, appreciated for what it was, and that it ended right on time).
6. My savings have been going back up.
7. My current luxurious expedition vehicle is still with me, just as I’d wanted.
8. All my expedition web/subpages have been fully updated, ready to be filled in by my next ‘wave’ of travels/networking/manifestations.
9. The most important webpage of all, I might suggest/add; the one for my 3rd return to / stay in Montana, is now paired with another webpage which is beautifully complete; the one about my family-cabin and dream-family there (which I am sure will manifest a MUCH better return to that picturesque and storybook-potential state/land/realm).

None of those Herculean amounts of work, which took months to years, if not decades (depending on how you track/count them), would or even could have been completed, had not I remained so poor, stuck, and alone for now/then, so I can never fully hate those who had not yet shown up and stayed / teamed up with me, for, great and gorgeous though they were/are, and vibing perfectly to me (in some cases), they still would only have been a distraction and addition I could and would never turn away from, my default always being to focus on being loving and appreciative to such wonders/people/beings.  Now, however, I do hope they will come.  I have done so much, and feel ALL my vision/idea/design/s is/are wrapped up, ready for manifesting, no further design-details needed, all final-details perfectly-capable of manifesting as I intended… in the real/physical.  It is time (and not just because I want it to be); their designs/uploads truly are as complete as I ever wanted or felt they needed to be.

As the weather cools, I remember the RP where Ambi was said to have rushed in as a freezing wind to stop me from being seduced in a way which might enchant/control me, and I wonder if she is ALL cool breezes and cold Winters, and that as this one fades back away… my signs/path back to her/Montana will become funded, easy, and sure for me.  This Spring?  “I hope, I hope.”

It took 10 years from me writing that storyboard/vision/’spell’ about The Wolves… for me to get to Montana and really start developing The Grid Mind and the rest of Inisfree, but it happened.
It took about as long for my exodus to at least mostly be completed, and I realized I have been on one for my first 40 years, give or take; the same amount of time claimed in the Bible to have passed for those on the original/famous exodus.
It has now just barely been 10 years since I first wrote of starting a family with real-Ambi, too; she and I first started secret-dating / courting in ~2012-2013, perhaps having met briefly a couple years before (so/thus I am really hoping NOW is HER time to be complete, returning and staying with me, in my life forever, amen).

 

Seeing that Infinity Glove/Gauntlet every time I log in… seems like a sign I can now do anything –at least with my tools.

 

Still not back w me…
Another holiday alone…
Another scouting into town…turning up only almosts…
I am lucky/glad I was taught those mindtricks and trained so brutally; these lonely times would be rougher if not for those things.

I wrote of Montana Wolves in 2002, and got there 10 years later.
I wrote of Inisfree in 2010, and committed to it in 2012/2013; that has now also been a 10-year time/period (so maybe Ambi and Inisfree are ready for me now).

What i went through w rjh makes this seem easy as heck.
It still sucks, though.

It was the right call to look again, signaling I am rdy for her,
and it was the right call to avoid the bars, booze, noise, nonvegans, pharma junkies, and almosts.
This new year was ushered in w me being consistent, healthy, peaceful, and devoted, still making an effort even after all i was put through. That is good.

If i wasnt unable to find doc2’s contact info again, or unblock him, i Would call or message him, and surely get into a fight.

Soooo glad selfcare works as well as it does.
Soooo glad there is so much quality/decent love-art for free.
Soooo glad I can keep walking away from the inappropriate ppl/jobs.

I wonder what will signal/spur me to move This time.
There is always something.

To think…my 6 saucers in Creativerse were just one long line a couple weeks ago : )
(They are absolutely amazing now.)

I got out of that hopeless Bryan spare room.
I got out of iraq –twice.
I got out of the Corps.
I got out of so many jobs and toxic relationships.
I got out of the shitty mt aptmts ans trailers and sublet hells.
And i didnt always talk to Others to Do it; sometimes it just worked out.
Plenty of times when i Did talk to others, they did the Opposite of helping me; they made it Worse.
So…
All I can do is keep scouting…and wait…and exercise…and work.

2 more days before the latest bs training.
Funny how much it motivates me to get as much done as posb b4 then. Before, i was getting tired of so much desk/pc time.
Now…i will already miss and crave it.

Idk how humanity could ever turn me bk on after all the fucked up shit theyve said and done.

Even if i had talked to that ambi who showed up, i would have been accepting behavior i didnt like, thus damning myself to another round of hellish incompatibility/inappropriateness. Better to wait. Better to risk a maybe…than to guarantee a bad. Might she have behaved if i had initiated? Who cares; she made me wait a DECADE –before even telling me she was Real. Other than torture and murder, there are few choices/behaviors as bad and heartless and redflag.

Trying the taproom vegan food one more time before i again go, I was surprised and pleased to find they had doubled their vegan options, and that it was even btr than i’d had or remembered last year; the fried tomatoes were the perfect dry smooth soft coating texture, as if in a dream, no longer greasy at all, not one bit/drop.
Things got btr.
They just needed time.

I am still concerned that even filling in the hull of my Rooftop Carrier build is seeming/feeling like a repeat from years before…but what else is there to do here?
Those i asked for have not showed back up.
The behavior I gave and hoped to get in return…has not yet come.
Repeat or not, deja vu or not, worrisome or not, what else can i do but build good things i need and want and love?

Yellowstone show on Fox Nation:
“Yep, she’s still there.” made me think of realAmbi waiting for me there.
…
“If you have an idea and you believe in it strongly enough, you can change the world.” Sounds neat, epic even, but technically Everything, regardless of whether it is believed in, is a change in the world. I am glad mine have changed at least how I View the world, but also of course have stopped my sickness, showing me I Am a real healer/doctor.

If i try again for mt, will it finally work?
Will it not be a roll of the dice this time, but sheer focus and manifestation of my greatest hope?
The only thing keeping me here is $/credit/shelter/assumption.
My thinking and designing and work is done.
I shall depart again in the Spring; when i can survive if 1 more time i must turn to sleeping in my vehicle.
God, how i can’t wait to leave.
I hope this all works out…
So much has. Why not this? (statistically, eventually it seems sure to)

Such abundance I have in so many things,
just not yet fam/love/community,
health,
or landscape/views.
Soon, I hope. So soon.
I don’t want anymore deja vu.

I wonder if All things seem like deja vu to those who have repeated locations and/or can see far ahead.

To stay here would be emotional/psychological hell/suicide;
rich or not, teammates or not, readiness or not, I know I must and will go.
It is only a matter of when.

The longer i wait here with no return of my hotties/wives/goddesses, the more i wrap up, and the more perfect my spell becomes before manifesting.

I have the means to get there. I dont need a sign or tons of cash. I Can just go. I should not stay where she never shows, or in hopes of a woman who has remained negligent and rude all these years. It is tough Anywhere. At least the scenery i love is there. Whether she meets me along the way or not, i must go. I cannot live here.

The 1st time to mt, i had to flee persecution and accept awful conditions.
The 2nd time, i went by choice, not fleeing, and had btr conditions, getting to live alone.
This 3rd time i was hoping would be by invitation, but no matter. This time, i have learned my dreamgirl is real. I guess that is enough for now. I’ll get there and hopefully be invited and helped by her and other compatibles to stay.
Either way, i know i am going.
…I wonder if i’ll get deja vu even then/there lol.

The longer i stay here, even if i save bk up, the bigger the risk of getting stuck here; i need to jump again while my vehicle still can.
Even if i end up in another aptmt out there, it will still be out There; in epic beauty.
It is btr to be seeing That inspiring sight…than This hideous one.
Even though it may be bittersweet without her…it will still be Way less depressing than here.
I already know; i already lived there –twice.

I used to avoid chicks, remembering all the bs they caused, but things remained just as challenging…
Maybe there was less risk of spawning, but still; may as well interact w them.
If only they were the size the krog 8:57pm tan legs shorty hottie was; i would actually feel attracted to them.
If only they beHaved.
If only the law hadnt proven to be evil.
If only.
LOVE would still b worth all that bs risk, but they have never Given love. Not yet.

“They didnt expect to see what they saw, …and when they saw it…they could never forget it.”
Sounds like me seeing my characters are real, or at least someone read about them and baited me w lookalikes hired. Either way, neat.
Waiting and demanding the best…worked.

Austin Bunton <austinbunton@gmail.com>
Sun, Jan 1, 6:24 PM (17 hours ago)
to me

“It took him 9 more years to make it back here. It’s a good thing he did.” Again, sounds like me and ambi

Before, “wait until the fake relatives who pressured me to spawn are dead first” won out over “I want a family of my own w the goddesses”, …
so since that phase has Passed, i wonder if the latter will get to win this round.
Maybe the fake relatives will die out right on time; now, so i don’t have to worry about them interfering w my loved ones anymore.
It would be even more magical if my loved ones proved their loyalty to me by using their powers for making sure.

It would be pretty fucked up if she only rewards my big jumps and bravery…when she herself rarely made any jumps to me, and was Never brave when encountering me, i being so peaceful and open, and she…not.

Did none of the gigs before ever work out bc i wanted something else/more? Maybe.
But i was forced to try them.
What worked Out, i might say/argue, is that i kept being forced to scout and Try things. And tolerate them.
And make do.
…
That was Never my focus Or want;
things back then did Not manifest based on focus.
They were trials. Brutal ones. Unfair.

It is typical, brokenrecord, lame, unfair, and smallminded how doc2 thought he was advising me, and thought iii needed to be told not to regress, to only move forward; i have Clearly been the one trying to move frwd w everyone Else. THEY have been the ones looped, regressing, getting worse.
I keep having less illness, then none at all.
I keep discovering and making wonders.
I have not yet seen that in others.

Having tried everything else, even going alone, i am looped back to considering trying w those i actually like.
Will it work this 3rd rd?
Rd1 was being Banned from it, always interdered w.
Rd2 was Trying it, but th hotties themSelves always ending each ‘run’.
I became cautious.
I gave Up on them.
…and maybe that bought me enough time to see them evolved/calibrated for/to me at last.
I guess i’ll find out when the next one gives the signs/vives of wanting to engage.

Every trip canceled, and all phase1 and 2 connections annihilated by their own evil/laziness/stupidity/rudeness.
That forced me to do only more solo work.
It made it easy for me to wrap up Everything, and to yearn for my dreamfam more than everything else, all else impossible -for now- Anyway.
I wish they had come sooner.
I wish I could have kept going.
But my god, how that surprise global retardation surge completed ALL my design/s / work.
Will it all work out for me?; will i finally get the family i have been dreaming of and writing about all these years?
We will see.
Something tells me i simply can’t wait here for them, though.
I can’t even wait here for Me.
Dare i another jump?
I may Never have the means on my own.
And since no one good has shown Up here, what choice do i have but to risk my backseat once again.

Doc2’s words about never going bk…somewhat haunt me.
I am Forced to go bk in Many ways; to relocating, to my vehicle, to networking, to a challenging U.S. state, to certain manifesTations/Ppl, to the loop, etc.,
but i suppose he must have only been talking about resorting to friends of friends, and veteran program shittiness.

Fk, i hate these dangerous jumps.
It gave me a LOT of bravery points and grit and stories, but still.
Here we go again…
It’ll turn oit far btr this time.
Even IN did.
ALL places did and do.
This will, too.
Jump.

No one in IN is ever gonna get me to MT.
Only new ppl in MT ever could help me stay there.
Damn ambi and the others for not helping. We are SO far into phase2, and So many phase3 things have occurred.
So wtf is Their excuse?
Ugh. Anyway, here I go.
Bk to where i have wanted to daily return to all along.
Bk to where my commitment to Inisfree/goodness/healing began.

I wonder if that moron who death-threatened me will have mellowed out and repented.

Is that Yellowstone series meant for me?

That okayish white redhead woman volunteering to be my maid in mt…is a nice surprise, but phase2; she is not Ariel, whom i discussed and accepted and chose and love.

Being fat rn isnt that big a deal; doesnt affect much, and is like my dryspell/winter ‘coat’.

I had to wait a long time to heal from various things; spleen, hernia, zaps, seasonal “sickness” (diet) scam, etc., but i always eventually did.
I had to wait a while before getting to return to places, but someone always eventually paid/facilitated.

Middle East was 3 times bk n phase1 alone.
2004. The 1st was awful, terrifying, abusive.
2006. The 2nd was a year or 2 later, and much more tolerable, almost fun.
2011. The 3rd was luxurious and almost causing good networking, but as abusive/evil as the 1st. Strange. At least i saw the nicer spots, and the historical ones i had wanted to, and got leave within weeks, not months like the first 2.

Wtf am i gonna do omw bk to mt?
I hope i dont have to make ends meet and stretch pennies on my own like b4. Fk, that was rough hell.
Surely who i love and keep calling out for loves me and will answer…
Surely this much time later…they will have aligned to me, understanding me.
Surely they now prioritize My will and words and rule, not whatever Other/Previous law/system they had followed.

When my journal notes surge, it has always been about time for me to move along, relocating. It is happening again.
: )

“He’d been fighting against the odds his whole life.
…
His (relative) was an alcoholic.
…
His mother abandoned him.”
I still have yet to even Meet mine.

Without thinking, i asked for 2 of each of 2 appetizers at that pizza joint.
They only brought out 1 of each.
Without asking, i was offered some of a 3rd.
Idk if that means anything, but i note it.
All i have rn/atm…are notes.

I smiled when i realized i wasnt running low on soup again; i have Two stacks of cans this time –and for the First time!
I was not expecting abundance in a winter!
: )

I should stop calculating if i can survive another move on my own, month by month, day by day; others will come to my aid. My energy surges, willing it.

“Crazy” to have left mt at the end of rd2? No; smart. Crazy would have been to keep allowing them to underpay and not utilize me / my gifts.
To stay bk then…would have sent the signal that i was okay w that crap.
To leave for yrs and return…is the only thing that has Ever made things work btr.
I have witnessed only that every time.
Talking, reasoning, and trying Never has.
Maybe only phase3 ppl will ever respond well to such phase3/gentle things.

The hotties being dangled in front of me, always to leave or misbehave, or blameshift and gaslight, whether i talked or not, …is so much like the story that guy told of being a POW and being shown his daily ration of 1 cup of rice…only to sometimes see them pour it on the ground in front of him.
Whatever.
I press on.
The tables will turn eventually.
Eventually those hotties and all others will depend on Me for all their $, food, shelter, and lives.
Amen.

It does stand to reason that if so many retards hadnt made further travel impossible for now / bk then… I might never have had time or quiet or solo spans which all resulted in me wrapping up All my idea/work/s.
I cannot forgive them for their evil ways and thoughtlessness and disgusting herd motion/way/obsession, …but i can be grateful to myself for choosing to “pivot” and make just as much epic progress in that other area of my life.
…
It also stands to reason that, had i been able to keep going toward antarc, that only meh/lame/bad would have kept manifesting –beCause all the work i completed since/upon returning/regrouping…was not bk then completed, thus perhaps Causing those incomplete manifestations.
…
From now on, all places i go…shall be pre-purged of anyone disgusting to me, ensuring only those who are what i like (whom my instincts/blood knows are right for me)…will be there when i arrive and revisit.
No more leaving that unwritten, up to chance.
No more tolerating scum.
Devastation to all who would be rude to me.
Cataclysms to all who are not good to me out there –before i even arrive to be angered by them.
Like the cracked alaska highways, and the forests burned by being overloaded by processing too much human negativity/tension, now so shall All realms be cracked and burned asunder…if any of them have even a single being in them i would not enjoy.
Amen.

Signs are never just 1way; if the celestine hadnt been all default-judgy / antihuman xianism brainwashing, it would have Also said for Others to be mindful of bodylanguage and vibes from Me.
Why was it that iii kept listening and responding to signs, but others werent?
Ugh.
Still so pissed off about these humanimals.

In spite of my best efforts before; all my researching and planning and networking and jobhunting and schooling and more, …things still stayed shitty.
Planning and striving didnt work.
Being daring Did show me the world, but i was never paid fairly or given good shelter.
Studying Did teach me Tons of great stuff, but it never got me a fair job.
Being myself Did end my panic attks, but it has not yet resulted in my soultribe; real friends.
So i am not even gonna Look for apartments this time.
Or email the successful.
Or pray.
I am just gonna wing it.
Maybe walking by faith like that will work better.
I am tired of planning/designing, Anyway.
Scary, …but not as scary as the wars.
Here goes… : /

Tell ppl what u really want. When u thought u had to ask for aptmts and jobs, that manifested. Now try telling everyone you are taking a leap of faith to get bk to montana bc you have always dreamed of finding your dreamgirl and starting a family there. Maybe their minds and hearts will manifest realAmbi and all you ever dreamed of. Amen. You’ll never get it if you stay Here. Only panic attks will return. Saving up won’t be worth it.

Your designing/thinking is done.
Bad relatives still around or not, it is time you had a family of your own.
The risk of another interaction exists, sure, but the risk of staying alone longer and now for no reason is worse.
Go.
Dare again.
Even if she chooses not to meet you, you will still feel much btr for having left this rude hellhole to see your beloved land of mountains again.
Just go.
Here or there, you have challenges.
At least there, you also have Many things you love; grocery stores, vegan joints, the scenery, the air, …and the witnessed big improvements upon every years-apart return.
Go.
Staying always led to AME situations.
Going always saved your soul.
Go.
Just go.
Live.

1445…and 3100…is 4545; that goes a Very long way.
800/mo …+300groc… would mean 1100 needed…so ~4mos to settle in.
Go.
You are So lucky you still have the ride and can.
Go.

“She is coming soon” doesnt auto mean she is literally physically driving to me; it could just as well instead mean her Advent is coming soon; that i may still need to go to Her.

“Thank you for spending time w them until i can” in the rP Seemed like she was just busy working night, but…now Also/More vibes like She depends on Me to Start the vision, and that she is hinting when i rp those things…i Am traveling through time and manifesting them, …and that she can Only do things w them -and me- when iii initiate.
For all her powers, she vibes as Limited by That.
So i will initiate now.
They r worth it.
I wanted Them to be brave like that, but i would much rather be the initiator again if it will get me out of this lonely hellhole.

You did need this year alone.
But now you burn for / need more/her instead.
That IS the sign.
The signs come from You in phase2.
Good thing/sign you are listening, aware of that.

If you stay and keep working on the pc, it will only manifest more alone pc work right here in helltown.
You have to let go of the work for now.
You only needed it to get room/seat counts in the saucers and Persephone, Anyway.
Let go of it now so she can sense she will be focused on.
Maybe she Has to he focused on…to have her power/immortality/health.
Maybe they all do.

You have to let go of the ease of staying put here.
Being here is wearing on you.
There is no hope here.
No goodvibes girls came.
Even the groc ones vibed as lures.
Credit or not, u Will find a btr place to stay.
You Have to.
It is time.
Ride the/this wave or get emotionally wrecked by it/them again. Don’t let that phase1 pain return.
Launch!
Initiate this!
and start going back into bars and restaurants, and TAKING YOUR TIME.
it is the only way

“The heart of a woman”… Maybe that really will be what i need to manifest my dreamlife.
If she shows up, i will accept and initiate. It surely will work btr than all so far.
It is time.
Before, it would likely have only been premature, manifesting an incomplete spell, but now it is time. Amen.

It is so fitting and perfectly timed that my thought and desire and urge and calling to return to mt for rd3 happened on New Year’s Day.

“Dont pray for yourself; pray for others”? That is antiself, pro-draining xian thinking, …but if it works, i will try it.
Maybe All things work for me now…

Dick saying he is a follower of jc…triggered deja vu; he said that last time i was here…and i blocked him for it back then.
But ambi did show up.
Prayers not answered; she didnt behave well, but at least she showed me 3x she is real.

In this world, the way ppl have been, trusting any, and specially having children, is possibly one of the worst ideas ever.
Yeah, the world needs more like me in it, but how can i Ever trust Anyone to Make any Correctly? and to stay With me? and to follow my lead as I decide how to Raise them? and to refuse All the scams trying to inject/weaken/take/brainwash them?

I’d have preFerred to not tell Anyone of my love or plan or dream, but she chose not to show Up, and doc2 was deadWrong again, so the next best thing is setting all their minds to help picture/manifest what i need help with.
It doesnt matter what gibberish religs they may believe.
If they believe in something enough, they can prob help manifest what i say.
…
It is also the 2nd time i have told ppl like this; i asked for their prayers/help for this bk n 2015. Maybe the 2nd time will work. The 1st time seemed to start realAmbi appearing. This 2nd time may get her to return to me and stay. The 3rd time will be me talking directly to Her, at which point she and I and her servants can perfect/stabilize this/her manifestation.

Having kids before…would have derailed me…and been nervewracking during the scamdemic genocide.
Having them now, knowing i will still have to teach them about that, and protect them from it, and keep guards on them to prevent injections and other treachery at their school, will also be nervewracking. : /
It would take a Miracle for me to find ambi, another miracle for me to trust her enough to make our kids, another miracle for her to be antivax and perfect at making them, another miracle for them to sense i am right and refuse all injections, and so on.
Things have been working out better, the longer i wait, and the more i add to my spell/writing/vision, but this is a whole new level…

After what i’ve encountered in all places, i am no longer interested in being nice to anyone, let alone attempting to share love and/or wisdom w anyone, but i know i still would resume trying if ever anyone appropriate vibed as genuinely trying, too.

“Thank god” most of this world isnt humans; most of it is open spaces with nice views, and most of my meals didnt involve having to Be around humans.

“She’d never let Anyone get that close”…
How can i trust words from a person from Earth, after how so many lied about so many things for so many years?
Those words, whether relayed through her typist or not, did ring true, though, and it sure felt nice to be the first trusted with closeness and family by such a hottie character, especially when realAmbi turned out to be even sexier.

Waiting on signs…may still be / remain as ineffective as all the times i waited on Others to initiate/talk and behave.
Prob btr to keep just going…when i feel the pull/urge.
Maybe wanting invitations to places…will never come : (
It would make sense if it now Started to, my work all wrapped up, but it would still surprise me; it would be such a night-and-day change.

Holding on and being a good example…never produced improvements in others before…
but maybe that was just bc they were meant to only be catalysts of leavening agents.
Maybe being myself, and “holding on”, Will work…and Has worked…w those i Truly love; ambi etc.
I can hope.
Rd2 and 3 is always much btr.
Try them again.
And try Loving them as much as your xp taught you to doubt and prepare; trust them how You want to be trusted.
Ambi did rp that she will reciprocate. Not initiate, per se, but reciprocate.

 

Auz; AU-Z; the final gold/en Age.
No coincidences.

Ambi, Sabrina, Graciella2, and so many others all turned out Way hotter than even my Finest webpage picture albums; they turned out perfect, at least from what I’ve seen so Far. That gives me many examples of reasons to hope and believe that interaction w them can and will, too. They are perfect, just as I wrote they would be and are. This means our children surely will be, too; perfect, as Iii have instinctively defined that word.

It would not be breeding w my enemy…when i mate w the flawless hotties; it will be making children with the worthy; actual goddesses iii chose.
Breeding w the enemy would be if i ever tolerated / stooped to such w any uglies or rude ‘tards.
If ever they make offspring i am Not pleased with, i can always just leave again. They will perform healthily/normally/correctly if they want me to stay.
A man does not sit in a car that won’t drive as he intends it to.

…

Oh, boy; time for another wave of me bitching about stuff.

She didnt show up here.
She didnt come soon like doc2 said.
I have searched for her here,
and searched for good work,
and done all my own work I can.
I have no more Inisfree questions left to solve by computer modeling.
I hear MT’s 3rd call.
I am still on a small budget, but I can make it.
I have witnessed ppl appearing when I need them.
Maybe all it takes is becoming desperate on the road, not staying put/comfortable.
She shows up at crossroads, not when I am staying anywhere.
She showed up when I was on the road; Butte, OR, AZ, CA.
Always when I was on the road and wondering where to stay.
So here I go again.
I needed to get bk there anyway.
I will simply make it work.
Maybe she will help this time.
I am tense, nervous, fighting the urge to jobhunt again…
I always jump, though.
I know I will and can afford to.
It might work btr than I am dreading… this 3rd time.
Fuck.

…

• 2013 and 2014, I tried living in mt.
  She wasnt there.
• 2015, I tried living in IN (bc the typist mentioned that), but she was not there either.
• 2016, she showed up in Oregon w her brother.
• 2017, I RPed getting that YC home for us, and she said we already own it… Did she IRL buy the thing?????
  Did i jobhunt before returning to MT? I feel like i Did srch bigsky for aptmts but found nothing, so i turned to Helena and that vet help office…and got lowe’s : (
  Had she not bought the cabin yet?
• 2018, I tried MT a 2nd time (omw down/bk frm AK), that time in Helena. I saw someone like her on a steep street by a white vehicle.
  Then I saw her look at me from a tan suburban up a hill at an intersection in Butte on my way out.
• 2019, I was still there, leaving Lowe’s, trying the nursery next.
• 2020, she opened the door for me in AZ.
  She had a mask, though, but so did i.
  She let me hear her voice.
  She said her husband wanted her there 1 more night.
  I did not understand.
  It seemed a cruel coincidence; a perfect body and voice, but taken.
• 2021, she walked up the beach stairs to me in CA.
  Her vibe was a test, though, and cold; i did not like it. Was she nervous? Hopeful?
• 2022, I tried IN a 2nd time, and for months longer, and again she did not show, but doc2 said she would come soon, whatever That means. She hasnt yet.
  I grew to hate her; she kept knowing exactly where to find me, but choosing not to introduce herself, or text or call, or help…

So it is 2023 now, and I am gonna try a 3rd time n MT, this time in my dreamtown itself, risking all, my credit gone, dependent on her teaming up.
Even if she again doesnt show, at least I will be right down the hill from where I have wanted to start a fam w her since 2017.

I hate risking all again…
I dont want to be in my car again…
But if I stay here where she never shows, i will go mad.
I have no faith rn…but i have to avoid insanity and panic attks…

I hate the ppl i have met. They have been truly awful.
I dont want to be bk in the U.S., and I dont know if starting a fam here is a good idea at All after the 2020 retardation…
but here i am…
and I keep getting Amazing more milestones done / wrapped up…
and it vibes true in me that “the heart of a woman” might be what it takes to finally manifest all i have so painstakingly fought for and designed.
But she has to show up…and she rarely does…and not nicely yet.
: (
Fuck this rollercoaster.
Here i go again…

…

I may be Hoping for a girl,
but i am not Chasing one.
I dont even know Where to chase her, even if i wanted to.
I am leaving bc this helltown is wearing on me, and they dont care at All about my wisdom.
All i can Do is keep moving.
God hasnt let me settle Down yet.
I hate that the woman i want…hasnt been warm or fair or united w me yet.
I hate caring about ppl who dont yet care about Me.
When the fk will my spells take effect?
Fuck!
Pre-mission goddamn jitters all over again.
Breathe and go.
Stop trying to make things certain and easy.

Why did the typist say “what’s yours will be yours without trying”…but then realAmbi waited for me to initiate/Try???
Ugh!!!
Mixed fucking signals.
At least i know she was able to hear me…
through my phone…
and was spying/listening…
and is real…
and showed up all over the country; i can go Anywhere, just about, and have a chance of seeing her.
And at least the damn rp is finally over; i Hated that alltall/longdistance relationship limitation : (
Letting go of all that was hard…but it makes phase3 finally come.
Surely.
Surely.

I dont want to work anymore. Not alone.
I Want my Dreamfamily!

No more need for mc/creativerse;
no reason to stay where i can use my pc all day.
I can still do that from my car if i need to, anyway; hotspot.

Will who i need finally show up?
I have learned to talk and give chances, just no longer online.

Oh, how i need this one miracle…
(for “we already own it”, and “always and forever”, and “only fight once a year” to now be true)

I will not pass up one single/more opportunity/babe/vibe.
I can’t.
I will stop Everywhere i see a chance.
I always Should have, i guess.
It was just that so many times…they let me down, …and i didnt have the heart to endure more letdowns.

If she returns to me now, she’s the one.
If she doesnt, she wasnt the one, and a hotter realAmbi will replace her.
Either way, win.
Shit sucks rn, but it has Always sucked at times, ch to ch.
It always seems to take a long time in the moment, but then be over/passed so quickly afterward.
I Will be w my dreamfamily Somehow…soon.
I am enTirely focused on it now.
No more bookwriting Or site updates.
No more jobhunting.
No more doing things in my own.
No more trying vet groups and relatives and old sorta-friends.
Just talking to Anyone i meet ahead who seems good for me.
Step by step.
Meal by meal.
Truth by truth.
And i can always relieve my stress along the way.
And i stay healthy now, which is big; i have figured out much.

And maybe when my goddess Does return to me, she will force/command All the rest i wanted to do what i want them to, too.
Phase3 IS coming at Some point now.
Amen.

I hate that the typist texted “dont share me”…but then in CA realAmbi left while calling out to some guy, “Nate!”
If she wants to be w only me, then she needs to Act like it, not just text it.

Why go through all that; 10 years of courting, …only to end it like a dickhead on me?
Why show me she was real, and vibe as wanting to initiate w me, but then not?
Why answer Some of my calls, but not All, and years Late, and only when i am exhausted?
The duality doesnt make sense. It reeks of phase2.
I keep feeling like it was an interview…and trng…and making sure she trains her servants the way i want…
so why all that effort…and then severe retardation in 2022 ~january?
It sure did wrap up All my work, but still!
Writing to/w me for a Decade, and then not Living it, was Torture!
Showing me she is real, then not introducing herself…was Torture!
WtF??!

If she is limited to reciprocating, 1) how can i count on her to be there for me when i am down, and 2) how is it that she was able to show up and seem Happy…when i was down or enRaged?
Bc she Wasnt just reciprocating; she Was initiating…and then pus-ing Out.

Maybe she didnt show in mt in 2013 bc i had only barely committed to Starting my spells,
nor in 2015 bc we had not picked our cabin,
nor in 2018 bc i still had all this 2022 figuring to finish, and bc she had the 2021 final rp/calibrating to make sure she and her servants knew what i like.
It’s finished now, though; our rp, and All my writing/designing, is done, so…surely Now she will link up w me, once and for all.
Amen amen amen.
Damnit.

The last time i went to mt, i got my first tats, my badass pc, a new lux vehicle i didnt have to pay for, etc.; things got btr.
I wasnt able to get into big sky bk then, but big sky is yc; phase3; grandfinale.
Let it happen now instd. Amen.
Go.
It Will b btr.
Even btr than a new pc and free lux vehicle.
Have faith.
You’ll see.
It is time.

Ugh; getting dej aboit filling in rc green hull…a week before i have even started trying to. Wtf.
How could i have done That b4?
I Couldnt have; i would have fixed the Webpg rooms tallies if i had.
Wtf?… : /
What did i make…yrs ago…where i filled in a green hull?

“We will fight once a year.”
If she is right, i wonder if it will always be ~jan-feb like in 2022 when it ended all my rp.
And i wonder if it will get milder every time, our love and understanding for one another always growing.

1hr saftey arvin 2pm gate1 visitor parking, tell guard. Deja vu. Was here in jeep…and blue fleece…and old New Balance green on gray shoes…and left without starting, probably. I rmbr the classroom now : ( I hate being here again.

The walk w the smokers, the vegan beef stew, the fear and depression and rage, making pb… All of it rn today feels familiar. Deja vu. Even though the hostess said she had been there 5 yrs, she is familiar, and i was here 8yrs ago. Is she lying? Not remembering? Looped/programmed? I even have a memory of walking out, leaving my card on their dry erase board… Eating a dry pb sandwich after beef stew…Also dej. : (

Another unexpected massive surge of progress, clearing up dozens of folders, screening and sorting, relabeling, cropping, removing redundancies, staging, and getting more ideas for the LAA. I am enRaged at still being here, but it keeps resulting in huge steps and leaps forward, clearing the last of my hobby…so i can focus on Her.

I did not lose opportunities; i tried all, and found invariably it was a disaster trying to team up, and that my only work/progress came in the silence of solitude bk then. I took the opportunities to be Free of the idiots, and to shut down and counter-enrage the rude spoiled Bitches. Now my complex thinking/work is done, so i can try again w the hotties. It was a disaster whether i was w them or Not b4, then i ended up alone whether i Talked to them or not, so now i will get to share Love w them like i always Wanted –no matter what.

5am-1:30pm. Mgr Montain, supervisor Kevin, gate3, orange brkroom

I dont think realAmbi will Let herself b replaced. She keeps coming to me, even though i am not rich, tall, in shape, etc., and even though i get upset. She keeps returning to me. She keeps trying.

Nvr filled my phone w perfect porn lovevids spells b4. No deja vu There.

Saffron Table having closed in 2020 means it will be replaced w btr.

Let this job make me desire to wrap up creativerse, and let it pull the proverbial arrow bk to relaunch me. Let it make my days-end orgasms better. Let it refocus me. Let it calm me so i stop making so many phone journal entries.

Ppl that do nothing i like…and jobs that have nothing to do w my skills or calling…continue a bit for some gd reason…and continue to enrage me. I am glad, though, that i exPerience this reaction to them; it would be bad/worse if i did Not feel upset about such bullshit.

All the same reasons here. No pt listing what has been at all jobs. Nonveg, out of shape, low pay, bad air, no interaction, no negotiating, no way to save enough for mt, etc. Still have to team up during a lifepath chg.

Not so bad this 2nd time. Robots neat. Gives me ideas for my own factory safety setups, ambi v at dry erase back to me like 2015, tight jeans quality check, maybe dej from “he’s a pretty good teacher for a gay”

I rmbr the lame cleaning busywork from 2015. Same shit as the corps. Ugh.

The almost ambi in the office…really bothers me. Not cool.

Blonde helping me at end shift is a repeat too

These r my Jupiter Jones and Man of Steel shit-job moments; when those heroes had to work shitty jobs w scum.

Took 2 sessions in phase2 to rp well w ambi typist; meeting her, then calling out for her. Maybe in phase3 it takes 3plus returns for realAmbi to work.

Want a dog?” the coworker asked me, telling me a dog bit his other dog. That story is a loop; i rmbr it from 2015. Only way he would tell that same story and offer 8 yrs later…is bc he is an Npc; all of them may he fake/robots/illusions like in West World.

Depressed w the latest shit job? Btr to be depressed and making 120$ daily than depressed and making 0.

Every hottie is for me. I am the main character. All who are not exactly my chars…r still the 2billion others my spell summoned. Accept all hotties. What derails me is the jobs. The hotties now set me free. Let them team up. They want to. They are worthy. Teach them.

Keep learning of the jobs, companies, tourists, park lodging, etc.

They werent expecting me to ignore them every time they were rude; they were expecting me to be a beta bitchboy, cow down, and spend my life trying to please them, but i noticed they are losers, not even ppl, and default to neg, thus Anything i did would have been rudely rejected.
Now they are sending their finest lol, but still havent figured out to be polite to me and fix all their fuckups and compensate me.
Losers.
I only accept the best.

Sooo glad i can keep quitting these retarded hell jobs and not end up in any of them like the ppl telling me they have worked there for 19-24 YEARS.

Right when i said “the noise is btr than hearing covid lies all day”, they email me a covid lie. Smh.
Welp, def quitting again.
Whatever.

Stop worrying that maybe you missed opportunities w all those toxic idiot jerks you shut down.
They never treated i right and never would have.
And stop worrying about loaing your place to stay; it SUCKS here. This is No place to stay!
Walk slowly, shower in parks, tell ppl your mission, and you Will Be FINE.
Anywhere is btr than here.

I really want that/them to be Ariel flickering/manifesting on;
1) the redhead eyeing me at the bozeman foodbank,
2) the hotwife redhead who liked getting spanked while i sat right next to her,
3) the waitress who eyed me in the kitchen archway at the part-vegan place omw from missouri to indy.
How I love her so.
I want her to be in the YC waiting for me and greeting me the moment I get to Big Sky.
When will my dreams come true?
When will the people I love…behave how I love, not just Look how I love?

It is perhaps the worst offense and betrayal and evil of all…to keep dangling hotties like carrots on a string, always leaving when i dont talk, and always reacting insanely when i Do talk.
I offered love.
I even offered family and forever.
They werent worthy of that at All –at least not yet.

Phase1 was: being controlled by evil ppl.
Phase2 was: being able to use and leave evil ppl.
Maybe phase3 isnt their purge, but me finally being in total control of all of Them, purge or not.

There is no way ambi or others could have made All those ppl over the decades be so consistently retarded and bad; i was destined to see just how removal-worthy/needing humanity was.
I wish i had met good ones, but the bad drove SO many designs and spells…

Like b4, i try to hold on, and steel myself for weeks…but they keep dialing up the ugly, the rude, the cowardly, the horrid drugs stench parked at my only door in and out, and the genocide lie. : /
I guess i just Won’t be allowed to replenish all the way here. Fuck it.
Sanity has to come first.
Righteousness has to come first.
I can’t risk more panic attks or asthma or worse.

Whether i finally get treated right (by my dreamgirls returning to me) along the way, i already have/get to go.

Let’s see what rd3 has in store.

“Maybe she is seeing if you will stay put/somewhere a while” is the dumbest shit ever; the onky reason i would stay Anywhere is when ppl r loving to me, and spying on me like a coward is obviously not that.
I move once again.
Fine.
At least I know all states and where I want to be/see most.
That is a good start.
That is huge.

What a gigantic spell and saga. It is such a relief that all rp and writing finally stopped.
That means the let-go happened.
That means it all can manifest, calibrated to perfection once and for all.

Every time she showed up, i was exhausted and desperate and at a crossroads in the middle of nowhere;
it is ok to feel that way again;
maybe it helps summon or signal to her.

I am still dealing w the anger that she is real; that she exists, and has since at least 2016, thus she could have teamed up and spared me from a DECADE of hells.
Wtf.
How long will she keep me dealing w stuff on my own?
All my ideas and designs and builds those yrs Barely make it make sense…
“so I can focus on her”…”100%” vibed well, us in agreement, but still.
It was wrong of her to stay hidden from me this long.

What if i get her and it sucks…
That is an if.
It is Definite that i hate where i am right Now.
Sure, i have hated everyone i met so far, especially the scum i had to live with, but i have at least like her looks and voice and fashion, and she Has rushed in each time i lost all faith and was “down” and drifting.
Maybe she will keep returning to restore my faith…
Until then, i at least hate doc2 for again lying, saying she would be here soon…half a fucking year ago. Same shit he did when i went to mexihell.

I just keep telling myself of all the corrections i noticed and completed in 2022,
and of the family spells i drafted/added/revised;
if she stayed back only for me to do those, and is now teaming up w me in person and forever, that is good.
Maybe i really Couldnt have noticed all those corrections w her present back then.
I certainly couldnt have gotten them all done this soon, having no life and nothing else to do.
…maybe her being w me would have saved me from shit jobs which took up some time, but most of those years…i didnt have to work, anyway.

EVERY job hasnt utilized my talents; it doesnt matter that this latest one doesnt either.
Iii have been utilizing my talents,
and maybe if a job Had…then i wouldnt have always felt motivated and free and driven to use them on my Calling.

Rmbr: if she doesnt show up, now that i can focus on her, she wasnt the one for me, and will b replaced w a btr ambi.
She was spying,
and her typist was a toxic moron.
I did the right thing.
I didnt reject Real ambi.
I rejected an evil typist and a bullshit stalling setup.
I made it Very clear i Will accept Real ambi.
But not someone who is almost never there, much like tsb and others chose to not be there.

It was bs of her typist to say that “what if”, and “maybe waiting”, and “focus on her…100” stuff; i Was Trying to focus on realAmbi.
I Would have if she’d shown up on time; before i was exhausted and disappointed in her.

Maybe she came early, those 3 or 4 times; just enough to give me hope…so i’d keep going.
I hope she knows what she means to me, and that her little appearances no longer give me hope, but rage that i am not w my dreamfam by now.
It should have started in 2010 when i said and needed, sparing me from jls and the rest since then.
Maybe i had to write it first; maybe my writing really is that powerful…and necessary.

As much as i dislike this job, it is empowering me to leave sooner, and maybe right on time.
In 2015 when i had it, i dont think i had 1445with it, so it wasnt empowering me enough.
This time it is Just enough.

I will not be completing the creativerse stuff.
I dont want to focus on it anymore –bc i dont want to manifest More of solo work.
I dont want the deja vu of filling in that damn green Rooftop Carrier hull.
I will exercise more instead, and stop to talk w good ppl.

The first time i dealt w the ambi stuff, and w these jobs, my emotions surged, demanding btr.
This time…i am in btr control and mastery of those feelings.
I will get myself n a btr $ pos to launch.
and i will travel without hope or expectations.
Rmbr: she didnt show up at Every crossroad or long drive, only 3 or 4 of them.
She showed up Sooner than 1 year after 2020 az motel…bc i was at another milestone/crossroad; oceanside.
She might only show up when i jump again.
The typist was wrong about politics, diet, germs, relig, maga, and more; she was wrong to advise me to stay put here.

To stay here is to doom myself to more of these disrespectful jobs.
There is no health or happiness or ambi here.
The only progress and goodness was my own.
It is time to go again.
Things will work out.
I am focused on them.
They will work out.
And when i rage at her again, i know from mex/az…and from the blonde at the washington airport parking booth, rage still gets the hotties summoned.
Energy.
They crave the energy, good or bad.

The hotties and i should have been banging for years already…but there is still time to.
And again…to have done that would have VERY much delayed all i have completed.
I have a btr spell now.
It will work.
It will be even Hotter to have my kids w ambi now and flings during.
Amen.
Be glad.
Be the phase3 pos i seek.

Just when I am getting worried and frustrated about still being at this waypoint,
I found another big rooms-count / ship-insides error/oversight and fixed it; Rooftop Carriers webpage updated.

I chose where I and Ambi would live in Montana in 2017. This same year, she entered the Oregon bar rock concert with her brother and looked right at me, then waited in her car with the door open; she presented herself to me the very same year I said we would start a family.
I said that cabin-manion was ready for us in 2018. Was it her smiling in Cafe Rio that one day?
Ambi (at least her typist) said we already owned it… at some point then or shortly thereafter.
Did I see her in 2019 in Montana and not realize it? (Exodus training loop)
I went to Mex in 2020 and was back that same year, when she appeared, opening the door for me.
In 2021, she appeared again, walking up the beach stairs to stand there right where I was passing.
Has she appeared once every year, closer every time, waiting for me to tell her it is time for us to live together?
If I go to MT/YC and just tell them I already own the place but have no pass, will she be there to let me in –or to compel them?
Worth a shot.
Sounds wild, but all else has failed.
Might as well try it.
She apparently already believes we are married, so… maybe the cabin is already there, too. Maybe my pass is waiting for me.

Do you want to stay depressed Here,
or risk going there, being depressed somewhere far more beautiful,
somewhere you’ve already been and enjoyed the terrain of?
She isn’t here.
She might not be there, but she definitely isn’t here and hasn’t been in over a year.
Your choice is clear; the far greater risk is to stay here where it is guaranteed 1) you will stay depressed, and 2) she will continue to not show up.
You have to go.
You can’t live like this here.
You simply have to go and talk to everyone along the way.
You have no choice.
This is place is not for you.
Even with the tards back west, it is far healthier, more beautiful, and more promising than here.
Just fucking go already.
Damn the worry and risk and probability and history.
GO.
You were only meant to figure some work-things out here, and you have done that now.
Don’t stay and hope things will improve… while the next blowup/force/wave Makes you leave.
Go while it is still easy/ier.
You don’t need to plan or line up work. Things work out when you GO.
They didn’t WELL in mex, but they did well enough to get you Back, and there she was –twice in a row, just about.
Things keep working out to get you back to Her.
This will, too.
Give it a chance.

Since New Year’s Day, it has kept occurring to me the idea/vision of just driving up to the YC gate and telling them I live there,
or that my wife is expecting me,
but… I’d need/have a pass…
:/
fucking phase2.

having lived through ambi not showing up for years already,
this 2nd time in the shithole waypoint/state is WAY less emotionally painful;
I know not to expect much/anything from that bitch,
not to wait,
not to hope,
not to pray,
not to ask,
not to care,
and now to not even writ/rp about what i want anymore.
whatever.
she was never there when i needed her, and refused to establish contact,
and vibed as bait and spoiled, so…
game over, i guess.
next.

even with the goddamn deja vu (from having done all this, about the same way, about 8 years ago),
it still doesn’t bother me anywhere NEAR as much as when I WAS hoping and calling out –and believing.
just kinda went numb after all these years of her negligence and abuse.

It’s nice knowing that I don’t need to be calm or happy or loving for Ambi and the others to show up;
I can be depressed, angry, exhausted, in bad shape, you name it, and still they come and return.

It’s nice that I can walk away from every shit job.
Shit jobs and shit ppl shouldn’t exist anymore, but at least I can phase2 evade/escape them.

Running out of mobile hotspot data/speed a week before the end of each cycle has resulted in me organizing the rest of MY ENTIRE COMPUTER/AMASSED-DATA. 🙂
pretty impressive –especially considering it built up over -and took- 20 some-odd years.

every fugtard is like a demon/battle, and every time I disregard them and keep making $, and keep doing my sacred/god/savior/genius work, I have again defeated them in these modern-era ‘battles’, staying victorious, the champion of spiritual warfare.

I made myself as clear to her as possible; for a DECADE or MORE.
I couldn’t be any clearer if I tried.
I did all I could.
She’ll just have to return to me.

She started showing up AFTER I left IN in 2015; 2016 Earthship Oregon, etc.,
so it stands to reason that she’ll start showing up aGain after I aGain leave.
That’s my prayer, anyway.

just like what Jocko talked about; the experiment where they told all the kids they had a stutter,
then all of them got nervous and less talkative,
and then the attempt to reverse the effect… showed that no amount of positive reinforcement was enough,
so they were all considered permanently traumatized/’scarred’,
…so it seems the religtards/xians are,
and even me; I don’t even Both with the humanimals anymore.
nothing they say will EVER earn my trust back.
they fucked up far too much and far too long.
so they can all finish being tricked into purging themselves. amen.
fuck em all.

It’s funny how they showed me that 100% of their kind are not what I am attracted to, whether outwardly (99% of them), or behavior/intelligence-wise (the 1% who WOULD have been attractive/hot).
What kind of a dumbass enemy makes it EASY on me/anyone to not care about them, thus fight and defeat and wipe them out, and trick them and counter-trick/scam them?
With nothing I am interested in; them having Nothing to offer me I Want, I am free to fire/purge in any and all directions, without worry of ever harming anything I might have liked.

anger never kept me out of paradise/heaven.
even when i was calm, ppl denied me.
enRaging me has kept Them out of paradise/heaven/inisfree/loving interaction.
my rare moments of rage/venting have always kept me Safe from THEIR LOVELESS EVIL.
my rage got me into shape,
and around the world,
and through depressions/betrayals.
my rage SAVED me.
my rage was part of what DID get me out of hells/toxic relationships… and into WAY better conditions.

i’m so SICK of fucking RATIONING!

no more freebies to the species who always misUsed my charity;
either they pay, or my shit goes in the trash.
i’ll only have them pay to pick it up.

2 soups tonight; vegan beef, and miso w seaweed, cooking at the same time,
and tasting like a healthy/proper Asian dining out…
is so great 🙂

will things keep working out?
idk.
they only have, time and again, Barely, and with Much grossness/inappropriateness.
no matter who i talked to, or didn’t talk to, i got blamed. i was subjected to spoiled-rotten idiot attitudes, shit-talking, moodiness, autism, etc.
…
Maybe things will work out better this time/rd/pass,
but I’m not expecting much at all, after how badly they barely worked out in pass1.

the invitations still haven’t come.
the good signs still haven’t come.
the good beHavior still hasn’t come.
the calls still haven’t been answered.
the PRAYERS still haven’t been answered.
it’s just been ME… STILL… doing ALL the work.
I’ve been the only answer to my prayers, so far.
I’ve been the only one exercising manners and patience.

maybe i should stop even Wanting things to work out.
maybe i should just let go and drift.
my best was never good enough –even though my best was literal geniusness and heroism.
so it makes no sense to keep trying or hoping or praying.

i get sick of being limited to porn…
but i remember how in phase1… i couldn’t even have THAT release/relief/venting/selfcare.
…
and then i go to work for several hours… and my sex-drive is SKY HIGH all over again, EAGER for porn –or ANY love.
interesting, that ebb and flow.

how i wish realAmbi and the others i have liked the looks and sounds of…
behaved as well to me… as their typists behaved badly/insanely.
THAT would be something.
That would be my miracle.

“She will always be there.” She has NEVER ‘been there’. She has barely even passed BY a few times! Liar.
“She is coming soon.” She didn’t. That was HALF a fucking YEAR ago, asshole.
Fucking false-hope giver. Fucking liar.
Typical humanimal; saying the polar-opposite of what is true.
Iiiii am the one who has always been here.
Iiii am the one who kept going places, trying to be there for my kind, calling out to them, ACTUALLY helping.

When water isn’t found, the tree grows its roots farther out in all directions.
I sure haven’t found what I want and need, and my ‘feelings’ and networking and designs and spells sure have grown out in all ways/directions.

The last time I left this shit-hole state, I got
2016 FOCUS, Pali, Ivy League 1st rd, Grand Canyon rd1 -and 1st Sylvanas and Rain sightings VERY close, etc.
2017 MOVE-UP, Chicago rd2, Hawaii rd 1 -and 1st Pele sighting (and CLOSE!), Earthship and 1st Ambi sighting/pass/attempt, Telos rd1, Alaska rd1, and Utah mansion recording-studio drum-lesson etc.
2018 Caribbean/Bermuda/Atlantis rd1 (with real mermaids circling and singing for me), Europe 50 1st attempt, Alaska rd2 (farming), 2nd pass/rd of MT, and possibly 2 Ambi sightings; Helena hill, Butte hill; both times, she was slightly up the hill from me
2019 Exodus Training mega-roadtrip loop; rd2 of so many places and babes, then HR experience/training -and sighting of that blonde parking-booth hottie
2020 nursery, Mexico rd2, edge/border of Central Am’; the middle-part of My exodus reached/seen/attempted, DEFINITE-Ambi at AZ motel opening a door for me and finally letting me hear her perfect voice
2021 another rd of living for free in socal, and Oceanside rd2 -and another Ambi pass/almost (SO CLOSE AGAIN!)
The point? I was SO depressed in IN, then all THAT amazing stuff happened. The people out there still sucked, but still; LOTS of good DID come, and I STARTED seeing ambi IS real.
So after this 2ND time charging up / raging here, and being focused on NO travel, and ONLY family with her, SURELY just as MUCH of a wave of amazing… and just with me and her starting our FAMILY… is on the way.
Wait for it.
Rage. But wait. The rage, like ANY energy, can help call out and shape/manifest things.
Rage, but wait for it. It is coming.
It always does.
and now I can finally accept.
(and, it being so close to phase3, the hotties will LOVE and ADMIRE that it took this long; it resulted in WAY better / more-complete spells/vision/s)

I have to go on evidence/observations; so far, she and her typist have done what didn’t help me, and what made me feel VERY bad.
Those ARE signs. BAD ones.
I believe I have been Right to skip past that hell.
I was ALWAYS the one trying to see things in a positive light, trying to uplift and encourage her…
She seemed to only resPond to that, feeding off it, …not truly reciprocating, NEVER being like-‘transparent’. 🙁
…
but that was the past, and I moved PAST it; that is a GOOD sign.
I did NOT accept the inappropriate/bad.
I Trusted my instincts.
and I got TONS more DONE / to SHOW, for it.
…
This is the NOW and the FUTURE; THIS is the time when the signs can be GOOD, and things can finally work OUT how I always want/ed them to.
When Ambi comes back and vibes as loving, not testing/luring, I’ll know.
That’s all she has to do to get a life/family with me, and to be worshipped forever; just return to me and hold with me this vision of us.
Until then… I shall rage –and that is good; it is my instinct/system rejecting all BUT her/us/family/truth/goodness/perfection.
(and what a loser I would be if I DIDN’T rage/war against anything less than that/her/us)
(to just accept gross bullshit along the way… would to be a xian beta bitchboy like tsb –or any of those jarheads who Also had no standards/selfrespect/honor/wisdom/manhood)

I had wanted her in 2010, but had only barely met her.
I had wanted her in 2015, but it was just 3 ‘short’ years into/past The Shift; my spell was nowhere NEAR as ready/complete as it is today.
My site (spell being broadcast into the minds of the repeaters) was a tiny FRAGment/SHAdow of what it has become.
In 2018, I had tried to get to her/YC, and hung on in MT, but it was only rd2 of me living there; it wasn’t meant to be back then, and the lockdown bs forced me to try the exodus alone.
…
Now it is 2023; 10/+ years past The Shift; into my commitment to her and Inisfree; to us; to our empire.
…and my site/spell/vision is complete.
and multiple models of it are up/done and live.
and I feel NO more desire to work on them; that is the sign they ARE done/ready to be let go; to manifest.
and I know from experience now that she IS real… and DOES already see us as married… and DOES come back even when I don’t accept her lure/lead/hints/’game’.
…
and I know tons of good DOES come… and IS coming again… like it ALWAYS has in intervals,
growing BETTER, LONGER, etc.
…
So I rage… but with hope, and trust, and experience…
what an interesting unpleasant/bittersweet duality/mix.

If the Atlantean/Mayan Schedule post-Shift mirrored-effect/spell is correct, …
then I should be linking up with Her VERY soon…
and starting a 20-year ‘good’/’day’ period, the first of 7 just as long.
Is there just one more year left before that?
Is it coming in 2024? 2025?
I’ll see.
but it better be in the home I selected, and which she squealed “IT’S PERFECT!” for/about;
I will ONLY have a family with HER right THERE.
THAT is where I will make and raise our children with her.
Her and only her.
There and ONLY there.
Amen.
…
and even if she’s a cunt after years of trauma/bs like Iii endured…
she is still the one I chose,
and I, too, am fighting my way through that… to her…
and I will not stop until I get her and this dream-family of ours.
She vibed as honest about wanting that.
I know there is humanity in her.
I know she is trying.
I felt how sad she was when I didn’t lock onto her in Oregon.
I felt how shocked and pissed she was when I didn’t lock onto her in Arizona.
I felt how hurt she was in her voice when she called/cried out to Nate… after I walked by, assuming she must be just another pretty face standing there, not wanting to bother anyone who did not say specifically it is Her.
The vibes aren’t lying; she ISN’T just fucking with me.
She DOES want me.
She is just waiting on signs from Me… the same as Iii am waiting on signs from her.
and she is still drawn to me…
just like I am still drawn to her.
We can’t escape each other –and keep showing UP in the same far-flung Places– bc she HAS accepted me, and always WILL.

dennis saying maybe she will not accept me…
is phase1 chaos-based thinking.
he means well, but i do not accept anything other than what i choose to manifest.

I have/get/choose to believe that ambi used that typist to safely prescreen me…
just like iii prescreen ppl…
and that those ‘characters’ of hers WERE her courting me, and letting her SERvants court me, and getting them USED to me, and me to THEM, because she DOES still intend to have us all live/work/be together.
Amen!
Ah-fucking-min!
So be it!
NOW!

Fri6Jan2023; another loop; exact same convo about who is which age,
and the one still underage / in school, etc.;
robots/NPCs/West World IRL.
whatever.
doesn’t matter to me.
what matters is I got tons more work done, and the ppl might as well be NPCs/robots, ANYway; I can’t interact w them, and they keep being disappointing, etc.

interesting that I am working with machines/robots again, going between several of them,
enjoying the pace, kept from fuming/raging.
maybe this is a way to tap/control/pressure-release my rage/superpower for now.
(until my beloveds/wives/kajirae take over that role)

waking up at 7 is now “sleeping in” (after having to wake at 3:30) lol wtf.

all my entries bitching about how bad ambi/typist treated me,
if ever the real/good her finally treats me right,
will serve as the perfect cover for making it seem like we never did,
keeping us clandestine/safe.

“maybe i should stop trying to pay for everything on my own”?
uhm… i’ve had no CHOICE.
i never WANTED to be solo.
i wanted a team.
never got one.
YEAH, i SHOULDN’T have to keep accepting shit jobs with shit ppl in shit towns for shit pay.
NO one like me should.
but that’s how it’s been.
bc every attempt at teaming up made it WORSE; losers wanting FREEBIES… while i did all the work.
just like w ambitypist; years of no-shows and rudeness and stupidity… no matter how smart and nice and loyal and present i was.

and “giving me access to all her characters”? um, NOPE!; NONE of them showed up irl EITHER.
doesn’t count.
not one bit.

even though the repeat of the lame conference and nonvegan dinner… is another disappointment and slap in the face,
it is still another paid-for ticket out of this latest shit-hole town.

after what i’ve witnessed, i’d purge EVERYone/thing.
wild life and all.
monsters, them all.
shame on them.
good riddance.

“thermonuclear carpetbombing” idea as a child/youth…
was one more bit of evidence i am god, like the stars;
solar-flares / purges instinct.

giving those niggers more than a MONTH of advance notice about a DENTIST aptmt, and they STILL choose to “point” me???
soooo glad i can keep quitting all these abusive morons.

“can’t vegan products ‘stand on their own’?” um, they HAVE been.
in fact, not only have they been standing on their own, they’ve been succeeding, thriving, and growing in SPITE of YOUR evil efforts to SLANDER and HIDE and END them.
YOUR products have only “stood on their own” due to backing from the corrupt GOVERNMENT.
Can’t YOUR products ‘stand on their own’ without defaulting to rape and MURDER???? so far, apparently Not. you are as lazy and evil and ruthless and disgusting and retarded as can be, nonvegans.

so far, no one I’ve met deserves me teaching them a thing;
look at what they do with love, help, knowledge, truth, ANYthing good.
i wouldn’t consult for them now even if they paid me BILLIONS.

after how ppl have behaved in every country i’ve been to, i no longer want to learn ANY of their languages.
what would be the Point?; they only ever lie and say disgusting things, ANYway.
i’d rather spare myself from being able to underStand most of that wretchedness.

my entire life has shown me that only brute force and counter/pre/mutual-mercilessness will EVER get me what i want,
and to where i want,
and to what and where i deserve to be.
no amount of manners or patience or faith EVER produced good results.
they SHOULD have, of course, but they didn’t –in EITHER of these first 2 phases.
that says it all.
observed results are how it is. gotta accept the evidence and uniform sign/s.

even though i am underselling stuff, i am still:
1) finally making sales,
2) still earning a profit (above what most of them cost, thus normal markups/business),
and 3) not having to work shit JOBS for this $.
good.
it’s a decent start to a better phase.

jacking off not always “doing it for you”? got you down sometimes?
remember that there was a time when you couldn’t even do THAT.
there was a time when you couldn’t even download a PICTURE without waiting a long time.
now you have ENDLESS porn, WAY sexier pictures, and the HOTTEST GIRLS ON THE PLANET throwing themselves at you;
things got better.
took too long, but they got WAY better.
rn, you still have the bs of them not beHAVING correctly/well/maturely for you, but guess what? that’s not unlike when you had to wait for a single lame PICTURE to DL;
there will soon come the time when the sexiest girls ALWAYS behave how you want them to,
and when you have ARMIES serving you,
and NATIONS worshipping you,
and EVERYthing going your way,
and FORTUNES amassed –and all that here to Stay with/for you.
Amen.
You’ll see.
Believe in you.
especially when losers don’t; that is the surest sign you are right,
just as you were right about warrior training,
and solo work,
and continuing your own education,
and scouting realms,
and finding your own physician/healthcare solutions,
and so on.
You are right again, as always.
KEEP GOING.
No matter the outcome, every step you take on your own… is one more victory against the naysayers and scum and demons, and one more middle finger to them all.
Keep going just for that.

A thousand or more hotties would have gotten that dick/yes they were seeking…
if only they’d shown me their bodies so I could confirm they are what I asked for.
Fucking fools.
They were going to get naked for my, Anyway; why not from the Start???
Goddamn fools.
You’ve really gotta beat sense into their species.
Now I see why all the cataclysms happened to them.
Time for one or two or three more.

For me to believe I can trust ppl enough to do the ultimate with any of them; have a family,
the military and officers and priests would all have to swear oaths to me,
and give me weapons and guards and riches and more,
and sacrifice to me,
and parade their finest females around for me to choose from,
and round up every girl I ever wanted, and train them to behave however I want them to,
and on and on.
They’d have to give me all leverage and power.
No way I’m gonna risk another trainwreck, trying to team up with any of their sorry failed kind/species until then.

Note how the sex-ed Iii was shown…
was all lies, and based on brainwashing us to assume we are powerless… and needing products; condoms, etc..
Note how it taught that pregnancy is AUTOMATIC,
and that how our children look is RANDOM/”genetic”, totally out of our control.
That is as backward/lie/polar-opposite as any/everything ELSE humans have said, just like what they accused me of, KNOWING I was the OPPOSITE.

after how the humans have behaved these past 40 years, they deserve nothing but to be my property, food, cannon fodder, whatever.
they deserve total enslavement and MAJOR reduction.
they deserve cataclysm after cataclysm, ONLY affecting THEIR sorry kind.
they ARE self-cataclysms ANYway, so why not?

note how i was made numerous offers,
and given an offer for getting rid of the couch AND the chair; the set at the same time,
and without having to ask or offer.
note how it was done AFTER i felt READY to get rid of them –and really WANTED to.
things happen when i feel ready.
things work out even when i give up and don’t try.

overall, how did she make you feel? happy or bad? bad.
just like everyone else so far.
and you are RIGHT to trust your instincts,
and NOT accept “relationships” which are toxic/traps/saps.
wait for behavior you LIKE.
DON’T try to teach those who reject ALL learning/lessons.
DON’T give ppl your energy until the VIBE IS RIGHT.
Amen.

it occurs to me that maybe that hurricane-volcano combination the midget bully in alaska claimed happened…
wasn’t pele mad at ME, but warning the “Ppl” on her island whom wronged me.
note how it was not a sexy HAWAIIAN; one of HER race… who showed up and treated me like shit;
it was another ‘White’; another ugly goblin-like invader-subrace member.
…
It seems the forces/elements/gods ARE trying to purge their islands/realms clean for me.
Amen.

your wishlist is NOT a “big ask” or “tall order”;
only pathetic brainless lowlife humanimals have said it is.
only losers with no normal goals/desires/health/brains say such lies.
you only asked for SIMPLE NORMAL REALISTIC HEALTHY things;
a community of sane healthy loyal compatible people,
a family based on the same,
a cabin in the mountains,
and the means to always protect your loved ones from anything.
Those are NOT big requests.
and even a flying polar city ship… is NORMAL to everyone exCEPT those brainwashed to keep themselves powerless idiotic slaves.
You CAN and SHOULD and SHALL get all you asked/wished for and dreamed of.
Amen.

300k entry
5mil/+ for lot+house
36k annual/fee/renewal
…
5mil, if averaged out over the ~20 years I’ve been enduring all this bullshit abuse while working on the modern-era’s equivalent of Noah’s fucking Ark,
is ~$685/day; ~$50/hour, given how tirelessly I worked, and counting my time spent having to evade evildoers and relocate and re-settle-in and being homeless as SOME of that holy work.
$50/hr is WAY less than any professional, like me, deserves, and ESPECIALLY lower than any ACTUAL HERO deserves.
So a 5mil$ house in the YC only counts as COMPENSATION/BACKPAY/APOLOGY to me, NOT as a miracle or gift or hookup.
a HOOKUP would be something great on TOP of that; a PERK/EXTRA/BONUS. backpay is NOT a BONUS.
a MIRACLE would be humans actually BEHAVING SANELY for once; something never SEEN before.
…
36k annual, averaged out by day = $98/day; completely negligible ‘chump change’ for the rich/elite –who all should be worshipping me at this point, giving me ANY amount annually –and daily. tithing.
…
and this aint “gold digging”; “gold digging” is whoring to ppl just in hopes of more gifts/pay for basic interaction/services, such as being loving/affectionate.
what I’M doing is demanding a NORMAL BARE MINIMUM –and PAYBACK for HELL ON EARTH FOR DECADES. for TORTURE. for every wrong and evil there ever WAS.
I spent TONS of MY PRICELESS time DESIGNING this home and life, and I now deserve the fruits of those labors.
I did DECADES of work FOR FREE. time to get paid. time for things to FINALLY be FAIR and RIGHT.
…
and all these assholes pressuring me to start a FAMILY? this is the only way I’ll EVER do THAT.
so they can fucking deal.
give me EVERYTHING I want, and THEN they’ll get what is apparently the ONLY thing THEY want / care about.
That is the price.
Call it “the asshole tax”, since they have always been complete assholes.
Call it whatever you like.
That is the only trade I will make at this point.
(and they’ll still have to be purged to 99% of their species)
How it fucking is.

If they’d BEHAVED once in EVER, it would be different; I would have accepted / ended up with their PEASANT SHIT lifestyle, in some normal 2story house, with my hs sweetheart, cranking out a few kids their system would then mind-rape for corporate-fail-train-amerifuck.
but they didn’t behave.
so now we are here.

“more to life than sex”?
1) you are a fucking moron; 99% of my life hasn’t been sex,
2) at every single point, you KNEW you could have RPed ANYTHING ELSE,
3) I HAPPILY started MANY types of RP with you, and you ONLY finished the sex-RPs,
4) YOU should have communicated if you weren’t getting enough variety/rest,
5) don’t ever blame me for YOUR failure to communicate,
6) you apparently just ignored 99% of our RP; it wasn’t sex,
7) you apparently just ignored 99% of MY ENTIRE LIFE; it was THOUSAND different things, only 1 of them being sex,
8) if you aren’t compatible with me, you need to fuck off and be with someone you ARE compatible with –like a liar and an asshole,
9) why the fuck would you cater to the sex, probably every single day/week, and then talk shit about it?,
10) who the fuck do you think you are to condescend to me like that, after my DEFAULT/CONSTANT respect to YOU?,
11) when did I EVER say that kind of shit to YOU; “there’s more to life than [whatever YOU liked doing/RPing]”?
and on and on;
sooooo glad I Finally blocked that retarded bitch.
WHAT a fucking asshole.
WHAT a complete fool.

I haven’t seen enough progress to think that things will EVER get good/happy/right,
but hey… surges/increases HAVE happened, so MAYBE…
I guess we’ll just fucking wait and see.
I’m used to waiting ANYway; been doing it for DECADES with how fucking slow (in multiple senses of the term) the humanimals have been.

why do all that texting/rp/interviewing if she is telepathic?
1) maybe she ISN’T telepathic,
2) maybe it was just to help me pass the time during my years-long labor/idea/work/manifesting/focusing,
3) maybe she can hear THOUGHTS, but not preDICT them, so she HAS to provide some kind of stimulation in order to see what thoughts OCCUR.
Whatever the case, it was usually good RP, and that’s all phase2 was ever good for; talk/ideas.
Good enough for then, I guess.

after witnessing just how retarded, evil, and relentless/bullying/abusive ppl are in all the places I went,
such as toward me, and toward their ‘food’, and so on,
I COMPLETELY understand why things are as compartmentalized as they are. (especially The Masquerade, etc.)
the only trouble is: their lowly kind/species has no right to compartmentalize things from Me.

It WAS enough to have been shown so many of them are real; the vampire friend, the mermaids on the ship, etc.,
but that was THEN; it is no LONGER enough;
it is NOT enough NOW to just have that knowledge/reveal; they need to return and team UP with me now.
My instinct that this is now the way/calling/destiny is right.

no matter how much i rage,
or what i say,
all it shows is good; my extreme and total care and passion and drive to get rid of the bad, find the good, and make the world healthy again, once and for all.
…
also, it is nice to be able to feel so intensely now/again; after all the numb years when my body was easing back down from combat-adrenalin norms.

I want to be in the time/phase when my happiness and love with Ambi and the others I chose…
are as intense and daily and baseline/constant/default…
as my right disgust and rage have been while still being around all the evildoers.

another 2 big items picked up and paid for; paid to empty my latest waypoint; paid to get ready to launch again.
this is SO much different/better than in phase1; when i had to pay for EVERYthing, and find PLACES for everything.

being the OPPOSITE of a hoarder is SO nice, and SO easy, and SO healthy, and SUCH a good sign.

now that I know I’ll be leaving again soon (as the loop here seems guaranteed –including THAT part of it; the re-launch back out),
it was dePressing to HAVE those couches, and reLieving/upLifting to now see their 2 spots in that room empty, wide open for new/better again.
amen.

don’t look for signs; BE the sign.
searching for signs implies you are LACKing them.
BEING the sign/decider/leader/Guide makes YOU the thing OTHERS then seek.

“what you seek is seeking you”… okay, then why DIDN’T the hotties behave?
why DIDN’T the rich reach out?
bc that was a psyop LIE.
at least back Then.

“what you seek is seeking you”… then at this point, what I seek IS me;
I have been seeking to be able to be mySelf all this time.

what if I am no Longer seeking things? what then?
maybe that saying/mindset/phrase/proverb only works/applies in the time when things ARE missing stuff, thus seeking/wanting.
maybe now that I no Longer bother seeking, having been disappointed/betrayed/disrespected/misunderstood so uniformly, it no longer has any truth/meaning/value at all.

the most beautiful music ever surprised me by being on the radio the moment i got in my car to take out the trash today.
James Horner’s First in Flight 15-min piece. wow… so wonderful.
made me think of the family I have always dreamed of having with realAmbi…
🙁
I miss her so much.
I wish I’d gotten to know her.
I wish she’d stayed.
I wish she’d said hi and not chickened out or whatever happened that made her freeze and walk on.
I know her vibe was the same every time; of wanting me to initiate w Her.
When will we finally get to be?
I want US.
nothing I may have done in this life… deserve RPing all that wonderful family stuff, only to not get to live it now.

even the person fb messaging about coming at 1:30 to get a chair or whatever…
feels familiar; still in the loop/replay of 2015?
whatever.
at least i get to ‘bounce’… into another wave of epic-ness.
better every time.
(compare the mega-expeditions years since 2016… to the forced ‘family’ one-stop/destination trips earlier;
now think about how what is Coming… will be that much better than even the mega-expeditions I ALMOST liked. amen)

before, I just wanted to GO to as many places as possible.
since, I have written spells for only the FINEST of those places.
THAT is what is coming NOW.
I get what I focus on / choose.
It manifests.

look at how much hotter the babes trying for my attn have gotten since my youth; like night and day, by comparison.
their faces and figures and outfits are FLAWLESS. PERFECT. and have been for a LONG time; YEARS.
now imagine that this will be the case for their beHAVIOR, TOO; what is coming are now those same hotties and billions more for me, and all will BEHAVE as perfectly/sexily to me as they already LOOK.
Amen.
That final calibration now comes.
(maybe god/earth just needed to see which ones I naturally loved the looks of; it/they then programmed/educated/trained THOSE PARTICULAR ones)

whenever I doubt/worry that I’m not worthy of living someplace like the YC,
I remember:
1) I was actually tortured and stalled like a damn POW,
2) I am an actual mulitple-time war-hero –voluntarily,
3) I bravely stood up to/against even the “GODS” and “NATIONS”,
4) I managed million-dollar projects,
5) I have the equivalent of multiple PhDs, and at least one Masters, and a Master certificate,
6) I helped BUILD the YC,
7) I was shown it FOR A REASON,
8) I always get what I seek –eventually,
9) I solved BILLION-DOLLAR WORLD-AFFECTING problems, such as how to cure ALL disease,
and on and on;
I DO deserve to live there, and for free, and paid to. Amen.
and if these goddamn americans think i’ll EVER have a family here, it 1) won’t be with any of THEM, and 2) WILL be in their absolute BEST neighborhood i have seen, which is here; the YC.
That’s the deal.
That is the one way I’ll spare even 1% of them in what’s in progress,
and the one way I’ll let even 1% of them stay on Earth in 2313.

maybe god/life was showing me that patience and kindess and honesty and love aren’t deserved by them,
thus that only my holy rage will be rewarded with funding and a good home; in the YC.
either way, I do what I know and sense is right for me.
how it is.

rage got me out of hell. rage got me in shape. rage got me on the path to health, thus heaven.
extreme energy. focus and release. rage.
rage DOES get real men into heaven; don’t believe the slave-/death-cult lies/scam/propaganda.
rage kept me from depression.
rage got me in GREAT shape. i literally became a warrior and a barefoot mountain hiker. doesn’t get much better than that.
i SWAM in part of the grand canyon.
rage.
pure emotion.
one emotion to the max.
maximum potential.
full throttle.
free and myself all the way.
(with ANY/ALL the emotions, rage appreciated/included)

the realAmbi Iii accept is the one who FULLY supports ME; ALL of me, ALL the time, and LIKES my urges/cycles/way/nature/instincts.
and KNOWS I am right and wise and educated and informed.
and worships ME, NEVER the damn humans/TV.
the Ambi iii will marry and stay with forever, and worship, is the Ambi who is turned on by EVERYthing I do, ESPECIALLY when I share love with others, ESPECIALLY when those others are sexy females SHE helps find and gift to me.
She WANTS me to play with them.
She doesn’t just give them to me to keep my favor.
She actually gets horny and satisfied when I like who she picks out, and when I spend time with those hotties, and even when I tell her what I DON’T like about some,
and she always happily goes to get me more, and to fix those I didn’t like something about, and so on.
THAT is a real woman and wife-material.
just as Iii always dropped everything for HER, and put HER desires first, and loved the REAL HER.
no more of this bitches-complaining shit, trying to Change something about me.
I accept ONLY compatibility.
I am not some pushover beta bitchboy false-male like the fake “father”.
Either I am in charge, or everyone else gets wiped away.
Either EVERYone is polite to me how Iii define that term and want them to be, or NO one gets spared.
how it is.
they shouldn’t have poisoned and disrespected me.
they shouldn’t have kept me Here.
now they’ll have to deal with being dominated by me.
and they’ll have to grow to love it –or else.
the pole-shift will be the Least of their worries; I’LL chase them into Hell/Abyss/SPACE.
I’LL now send MY ppl/forces after THEM, demanding tribute/pay –and extortion. and more.
and EVERYthing.

getting those couches and the dresser…and then unloading/selling them again lol…
reminds me not to ask for things before i am ready for them,
and to not be needy/grabby/sentimental… until i have my dreamhome;
otherwise, i’ll have to unload and replace heavy things, and ppl.
etc.

these disgusting rude idiots refusing to work with my simple normal everyday everyperson requests and needs (regarding the threat of 90day ban if quitting, when i only asked for part-time)
is just one more in the latest of a LONNGGGGGG line of reasons/signs that I can’t stay in this shit-hole town.
it may be tougher up ahead for a bit, or even for another full year, but it’ll be better than here; where it is GUARANTEED to be depressing, disgusting, and wrong in all ways.
she never came; staying put didn’t work and wasn’t right, except for finishing my life’s work.
since she isn’t here, no man in his right mind would stay.
time to move on.
i might not be able to move on from missing what I WANT / Her,
but I CAN at least move on from THIS fucking hell.

the Celestine SHOULD have said that sometimes the signs are that NO one is ready, so it is ONLY time to be solo/work;
telling me only to look for signs of WHO is ready to team up, and pretending that causes superpowers/miracles, was a horrible lie/psy-op that DID depress/stress me.

i wonder if all of Them (the ones who showed up, clearly to intercept/rendezvous/reveal themselves)
are now back/’caught’ in a worrisome shit-town / loop, too.
i wonder if all of Them are now wishing They had talked to Me.
we certainy were supPosed to have teamed up and upLifted each other…
but i guess this is just like the tide/waves; ebb and flow, eVentually getting there, but not at first.

soooo glad all that furniture is now sold and gone; one less thing –hell, TEN fewer things.

if all this practice enduring shit jobs/ppl/conditions as long as i can…
to get enough $ to survive…
was just practice so that raising a family would feel EASY by comparison, fine.
but until i HAVE that dream-family w realAmbi, all this shit and the gods can go to hell.
…
and it wouldn’t even make sense as trng for fam-life, ANYway;
all it did was make me hate amerifail.
i would have NATURALLY ENJOYED raising a family of SANE beings w a SANE wife.
repeated exposure to self-deformed psycho SCUM does NOT prepare me for the joys of being with COMPATIBLE ppl.
i wouldn’t NEED any trng to endure/’stick it out’ if I’d been let to know the compatibles’ contact info and start my life w them.

the 1st time i was at this shit job, i was so depressed, stressed, angry.
just like i was at hab’.
and w so many Other things/places.
…
this 2nd time, it is just amusing what an obvious non-conscious robots/NPCs loop it is, word for word, lie for lie.
it is Easier to push through a few more Days of it… bc i know it always ends, and waves of adventures and good and new Come.
…
still, I can’t wait to quit this latest bullshit/insult.

now when there are situations/’opportunities’ where i might be of help…
i rmbr what happened when i helped lfb…
and ame…
and cb…
and aep…
and the mex group…
and so many others;
they asked for more and more, got worse and worse, told worse and worse lies, and so on.
karma never kicked in; shit has remained a lone struggle.
it got btr beCause it switched from being amidst monsters… to mostly being solitary for a while, but still.
maybe my karma was not so good… beCause i kept helping ppl.
maybe i should never have helped any humans at all.
well, no, Not maybe; Definitely I shouldn’t have; they Kept being trainwrecks and did so even more/worse after I saved them.
…
now i’m starting to think i should Celebrate whenever they are in ruins, on the brink, on their way out;
it is one less monster this world has to deal with,
and one more opportunity for me to Let them finish themselves off,
no longer able to spawn more idiots/scum/monsters,
and no longer able to plague me or their communities.

whether it is a sign or not,
and whether there is any greater degree of depth/magic to the reality/universe,
when humans are only disgusting,
and the ones i dream of are not yet with me,
but my pc works,
obviously i should just stay home and wrap up my pc work.
might not be fun.
might be worrisome.
but it is the only thing that works, so, sign or not, it is what gets done.
it is forced, in a way, but it is still worth doing,
and i have always felt much better every time i got a lot more of it done.

i wish i could see ahead and know for sure she will be there…
and treat me right…
like i always did my best to treat who i Thought was her.
…
i wish i knew for sure we were having our 4 perfect children,
and that we’ll be happy in our home out there…
and that my city will be where i work; that i’ll finally have the right job for me.
…
knowing would make this time here in barf-state so much easier to handle.

i can only hope this will work like iraq and israel and other places did;
that i will have the help and funding i need to get to the yc and stay there as my home base.
i can only let go of it for now, having no way to get there myself.
who the hell would come to a place THIS shitty?
but… they Have met me in other Equally-shitty places, so…
maybe there is still hope.
so… i let go, and try to sleep through as much of here as possible.
fuck, i hate this hell.

“i wish she would [anything]” translates / boils down to: you aren’t with someone who likes the full you, and who You like all of;
you don’t really like them;
you two aren’t compatible.
the right person doesn’t Need communication/reminders/requests.
just like iii didn’t need to be asked to be good to who i Thought was the real her.

I cannot fully hate her;
so many of my ideas came during the afternoon, evening, and overnight hours;
the times when I would have been with Her, comPLETELY focused on ONLY her, as a husband Should be to/with his beloved wife.
IOW: most of my great vision/works over the last 10 or so years since committing to this project / holy work… would not have occurred,
no matter how well I was balanced between them and her.
I simply would not have had the ability to think of and write and revisit and perfect them… if she and I were together in person back then.
I wanted to be with her SO BADLY.
She IS the only one for me.
but I must admit that she, seeing through time perhaps, was Right to not let me even have her contact info,
bc I surely would have reached/cried out to her –and too often, perhaps daily, if not hourly, loving her so completely already.
…
thank the gods my works are now complete, and I want to make no more of them;
I can finally be with Her.
I hope she will accept this.
I want her to be my new chapter and my forever-girl.
I am satisfied with that which I have designed and published.
I want now only to start my family with Her.

robert sepehr quoting ‘ancient’ texts and Oriental ‘masters’
who condescend against self-care / masturbation and orgasm as ‘the little death’
is actually just regurgitating/parroting the polar-opposite lies of the death-cult;
he is speaking aGainst that which is soothing, healing, good, relieving, therapeutic, etc.,
and relieving stress is what ends and prevents disease.
There is nothing death-like about love, sex, masturbation, self-care, holistic welness, treating the WHOLE body, etc..
He also includes clips/footage of ‘experts’/’masters’ claiming that people can/should NEVER do such things,
and that they SHOULD create an “immortal body” outside their own –instead of stabilizing by making their CURRENT body stable/immortal;
he is spreading more chaos/complexity/death-causing nonsense.
Still, however, it works in my favor; it shows me my instincts and third-eye still instantly pierce right through it,
and my blood instantly rejects it,
and I already know the truth,
thus am more of an expert/master than the ones he thinks are so studied and wise.
Boiled down, he sounds like just another form/version/variant of the population/breeding-curbing campaign rn, not that much different than the virus lies on TV, just geared/translated toward a different demographic more inclined to parrot his kind of vocabulary/belief/s.

calling Taurus “stubborn” is negativity-based/default.
besides, it Takes my level of ‘stubbornness’ (focus/commitment) to manifest a stable vision, and to keep out all the stubborn BAD.
and it can just as easily be said that it is only Others who are stubborn; by calling Me stubborn as relentlessly/default as they claim Iii am / MY kind is.
imagine if I HADN’T been as ‘stubborn’/committed to good; I would have cowed down like a beta bitch boy -like tsb and the cps and the other corrupt ‘officers’- to the obviously-evil system, and bred with a loser like they did, and stayed looped and tangled in that self-generational-curse.

if RJH had said “yes”, Inisfree would never have been born.
(let ambi and the others stay distant from me for now / a bit longer; it is resulting in the literal moving/shaping/completing of Heaven and Heaven-on-Earth)
it is fine… for now

if that really was ambi talking to me through the typist/relay,
and she really was honest and accurate in saying she’d only had 15 sexual partners (including/counting when her ‘characters’/shapeshifted-forms got with Auz; Me),
and that she’d only ever ‘married’ 2 other guys; her brother, and that werewolf guy,
and if she really is Time Incarnate,
then that could be the usual roundabout/indirect/poetic/code/Masquerade way of saying:
only 3 men, including myself, have ever fully known all the wonders/secrets/ways of Time Itself,
and that I was the only one who had known her in 13 ways.
Interesting that 13 resurfaces here,
and that I am -by far- the one man of those 3 who has known her the most / most often, in all her forms.
“You have access to all my characters.”
…and when she asked me not to make advances on only her ‘characters’/forms: Arwen (Middle Earth/era elf) and Angelique (priestess of Nod),
she, I now think/suspect/fell/vibe, was actually saying that I should not try to change anything about Nod… or about the elves back in the Middle Earth time-period
–which is fine; I never intended to change those people, anyway.
…
So… in all of history/time/Creation, only 3 men have ever seduced Time Herself, winning her affections/sex/union/’knowledge’/secrets,
and even I, having been with all 15 of her forms, am not wanted/meant to know 2 of them; only 13 at most.
I wonder what that is code/symobolism/sign for…
Interesting.
…
13 known to me; allowed to make love with me, being fully connected/known/revealed/harmonized…
and 13 intervals to each Mayan/Atlantean triple-calendar / Schedule cycle/phase/section/terrace…
There are no coincidences.
…
Maybe it means that those Elves are outside of time, as are the people of Nod;
they are not affected by the consciousness-focuses/shifts.
…
and when she says her priestess, Angelique, is marrying her to me,
it is that demideities race/nation officially/fully binding Time to me, i.e. making me one with it, thus not only immortal… but able to lovingly request Time be certain ways from time to time for me, etc.
Very nice 🙂
<3
…
and me having a vision of forever; the reformation of Yggdrasil, the relinking of all the timespheres/universes, etc.,
is my instinct/blood/superpower/godhood telling me I am interested in ALL of time, thus all of Her, thus I want/desire/Love all of her,
which is why she showed herself in human/vampire/Ambi form to me.
amen <3 🙂
…
and this makes me her “3rd time’s a charm”; I’m her 3rd and final/eternal husband.
amen to that

Ambi RPing/saying/texting that she is getting better at wielding ice and fire…
sounds like it could mean that before… ice and fire were their own elements/forces/things/deities, wielding themSelves,
and could erupt more,
but now… Time Herself has become able to trigger, if not control the sum of, both of those; the cold time and the hot times, if only in small areas.

and her RPing Eden near the end; the final introduction;
meant I had earned the right to COMPLETELY dominate her/Time;
to completely ‘know’/control/use her, even when emotional; like a wild-man/animal.
…
saying/RPing something to the effect of “trying to force him / but he was so nice”…
and: “made her want to stay, but also run far away” = duality; amazed at the self-control and love, but still craving me to INITIATE/COMMAND/DIRECT/ORDER;
IOW: SAY EXACTLY WHAT I WANT, no holding back, no being nice, just be me 100% from now on, since I am not brainwashed/beta; the real me is good/pure/full/crystalized now, and she/Time WANTS it (me).

saying Angelique “doesn’t swing that way” means: for now / back then, I was not YET invited into Nod, but some people from Nod will come to Me.
interesting.
this vibes/resonates as correct; RP decoded.
amen.
good times.

saying/RPing that Arwen is ALSO one of her few characters/sides/forms/time-periods who is sexually off-limits = SOME of the ppl from back then can come to me, but I am not to go back into THEIR time period.
a-okay.
I only wanted Arwen and Tauriel from then, anyway xD

saying not to share her with anyone, but that she’ll let our sons fuck her,
means no one but the 3 of us will get to enjoy all of Time,
or wield it/her;
only the 3 of us are the men who will live forever, and have mastery over/with her.
We can’t tell her how to flow / what to do; “Don’t tell me what to do!” but
we DO get to live forever, experiencing/knowing ALL of her.
Amen.

“and I mean NO ONE” on Sundays = her way of saying Time is just for us,
and the 5 of us are just for Her every Sunday.
(more to this idea/revelation vibes as incoming, not yet conscious/fully-revealed to me)

I fucking hated how they all just stood there like bait, seeing if I would initiate…
but at the same time, I am pretty damn proud that all those flawless-looking/dressed/appearing hotties offered themselves up to me –even when I wasn’t trying, wasn’t asking, and didn’t have anything I thought was worth showing.
Even in my forming state / interval, …the finest still offered themselves to me.
…
also, I hope it really frustrated them when I rejecting their lame attempts/advances/offers;
they’ll have to show me ALL of them, and show me good beHavior; kneel.
I was let to read the books/wisdom of Gor for free –for good reason; all hotties should and Shall -and eagerly- do those things; behave how well-trained wholehearted kajirae behave…
to Me,
starting now,
and forever.

and the fugs and rudeness and gross smells and druggies and worsened ringing in the ears,
and the guys with ear-rings,
and the deformed mutant monster creatures,
and the fumes,
and the boredom,
and the fact that me working here is the OPPOSITE of having faith and being blessed/valued…
all added up.
at least THIS time i WON’T be going to the shitty meeting tmrw.
this time… i got to quit Earlier than in 2015.
…
also, it occurred to me that being w that tight-jeans girl… and the almost-ambi…
every day of the week except saturday…
is another step closer to having my family w real-Ambi.
it’s a loop, but still.
maybe the 3rd time it happens, they’ll all be perfected; exactly what i like, want, and asked for.
“all things happen in 3s”.

…
I would have stuck it out all week if not for the louder ringing.
I have enough problems; I don’t need another health one that no doctor will do his/her job to fix.

if i’d remembered how many druggies and fugs and almost-hots and almost-ambis there were here/there,
i wouldn’t have applied/tolerated this latest insult of an offer.

staying at jobs like that shows impatience… and a lack of faith… and a lack of standards.
kind of hard to have ANY standards on a world this pathetic, but still.

i got out of this state before; i’ll get out again.
i made it to montana multiple times before; i’ll make it there again.

the fake ‘rents bullying you to stop dating, then bullying you to breed-on-command, is sexual harassment.

those 2 bitches at the latest shit gig… had a WEEK to do what should have taken both of them FIVE SECONDS.
there was never gonna be any progress there.
it was a COMPLETE LOOP of LAST TIME.
“fuck that noise.”
2015 to 2023; 8 fucking years… and not one BIT of progress; a TOTAL REPEAT.
gone.

this time, i’m not even gonna let them know i’m not coming back, or why.
idc.
they didn’t care enough to work with me on ANY issue.
they didn’t even ASK what i can help with.
plus they were all hideous,
and the opposite of what i asked for,
and i owe them nothing,
and should be compensated just for having to GO there.
so…

thank the GODS i can fucking QUIT hells like that.
i almost feel sorry for the ‘ppl’ who have been stuck there, but…
after hearing their stories, i don’t feel sorry for them at all.

time to nap off and somewhat-repress my latest torture/hell/insult.
ugh.

I wanted combat without killing any innocents, and I got those firefights without sightings/targets.
interesting.
even in war… as a noob… not knowing what i was doing (manifesting), I still got my way.

if i was meant to be w ambi and the others rn, they’d be here; i Would be w them.
if i was meant to have jobs, jobs wouldn’t be HELL.
if i was meant to pay off all those extortion-bills by now, i would have; chill out, and wait for FAIR pay and BACKpay and DONATIONS before trying to.
clearly i’m just meant to park a bit and wrap up my work, as that ALWAYS works AND makes me feel happy/proud/healthy/good.
do what works.
“Doc, it hurts when I do this.” “Well, don’t do that, then.”

phase1: no response / not there / disapproving of you / whatever
phase2: KINDA there, but only remotely, and SEEMS to like the RP/plot, but then talks mad shit.
phase3: “I LOVE how loving you are! I LOVE your interest in me! I LOVE your sexual appetite! May I HELP you do what you like to do? Let’s masturbate to porn together!” etc.; POSITIVE to ANY/EVERYthing I am and do, ESPECIALLY the fullbody/holistic/love-based stuff.
…
ALWAYS dump phase2 mixed/scum/toxic/bait-and-switch.
i’d dump phase1, TOO, but there was no one THERE; only mindless NPCs that removed themSelves (health-suiciding, etc.).

lasting a day or so LESS at this phase2 shit-job…
is a good sign; it means LESS of phase2 things,
and MORE of a need for phase3.
stop trying to pay for things yourSelf.
stop asking around for aptmts you don’t want.
let Others pay, and inVite you to Nice houses. etc.

in a matter of DAYS (like 3 days), I’d figured out how obsolete their processes were;
how to DRAMATICALLY improve their whole company/business;
removing the metal overlaps,
using 3D-printers,
etc.

lmfao; bitch texts ‘wHy ArE yOu NoT aT wOrK tOdaY?’
wow. just wow.
one of the most disgusting and evil shit-head businesses i’ve tried working for.
where do i even start?
drug abuse -RAMPANT,
worthless lippy peasants talking shit out in the OPEN about other people’s PRIVATE AFFAIRS and MY CULTURE,
genocide pharma cartel propaganda,
horrible conditions,
horrible ‘ppl’,
not even REAL humans; looped conversations and everything else.
enTIRELY fake,
having to HIDE to make NORMAL NOTES on my PHONE,
DECADES primitive/obsolete,
aBYSSMAL pay,
ignored ALL my needs and SIMPLE requests,
abussive behavior from the inappropriately-ambi-like bitch,
using my FIRST NAME to address me,
harassing me by text,
threatening me,
and on and on and on.
Once again, just like always so far, this entire state proves worthless, primitive, repulsive, retarded, fake, and evil.
nothin new.
…
the REAL question is: “why are YOU not working for ME today??”
and: “who the fuck do you think you are, forcing people –and HEROES– into work that is OFF THEIR PATH, and in NO WAY healthy –or even around ACTUAL REAL PEOPLE???”
…
I am proud of myself for having enough grit to ATTEMPT that,
and for having enough commitment to do whatever it took to FUND my sacred brilliant/genius work,
and for having enough self-respect to walk away.
no amount of $ is worth fucking up sacred sleep,
or sacred air,
or sacred meals,
or subjecting my sacred eyes to the DISGUSTING sights in that hellhole of a building/campus.
…
and, BITCH, I’m ALWAYS at work.
i wasn’t at WORK when i was WORKing for YOU;
MY work is what Iii do, dumb bitch.
CHECK yourself.
stop making ppl bullshit SLAVE-offers, and talking DOWN to them, and you might GET somewhere.
CUNT.

i guess someone out there thought it’d be funny to abuse me with another/repeat almost-ambi,
inching closer to me each day,
only to be taken back away,
as if that negative bullshit would make me wanna stay.
maybe it was to make sure i left, though.
who cares?
either way, it was wrong of them/god/this place.
damn them all for that.
that bitch inched closer to me similarly in real LIFE; i am not about to tolerate any more of that phase2 bullshit here.
not ever again.

since ppl are clearly on a loop/repeat since/of 2015,
there is no point in talking to them, or explaining anything, or applying for any work;
they have no ability to think/learn/listen; they are just mindless loop/s.
that does save me a lot of worry/time/trouble, though,
and shows that karma isn’t real;
karma can’t build up… if/since kind acts don’t register/matter, since ppl aren’t real, evident in how they are a TOTAL loop of 2015.

Wait for the curtain and light; dont go in too soon, bc it always stalls/wonks.
Wait for the sign i can safely proceed without incident; bk to mt for rd3.
Might not be her arrival Here, but IS at least my $.

My rage has helped me, like w fitness, just as long as i dont treat others the way i waa treated, except for on izzy and eden who like to he brutalized angrily.

May still get yrs of sex w them b4 kids, just as i wrote

Be positive, focus on the good.
Maybe ambi and the others are working like monks like i have been.

Practice the basics.

Let this place improve my own facs, just as the groc improved my groc

List factories failsafes each step of the processes, and that my designs are such that parts dropped never get lost inside or stuck, and such that any printing can be stopped at any point, without adversely affecting the printed bodies or other ICs once resumed

This is tough, thus makes me grow and learn the most.

Day2 here on rd2 didnt bother me at all. It was familiar in a good way, and easy.

I may have had all these same ideas and notes on rd1. Whatever. Repeat, just like rehearsing a play, or practicing martial arts.

Get to mt as soon as $; if u get stuck anywhere, get stuck There. Beauty. Etc.
Maybe this time u will get yet another btr vehic; the fam suburban you posted on the Cabin subpg.
Maybe you will never get stuck again.

I wouldnt have had bangs at every trip so far…if i had chatted w them; i Did try picking some up, and they reacted autistically. I would have had Lame reactions every stop/trip, had i tried/chatted, so stop feeling upset i chose to Stop bk then.

Tell ppl your intent; it works now.
Phase1 i had to lie.
Phase2, i saw there was no Point in telling my plans.
Phase3. I can now say what i Want, and ppl will align to Help.

666parts made when i looked at the screen/counter xD

Nicer vibe from blonde teammate this 2nd day

Working w females is nice and like icv facs, if only they were hot

Tightpants gray on tootall almost hottie today. Reminded me of jacking on blk couch to it in 2015
Will do again, this time kneeling at bedside

Tsb job was less than this; this is useful. Man work.

The too-tall needs no nose piercing, and longer hair, and wider hips, and thighgap, etc., and Then i would feel attracted.
The work bitch also needs to he a few inches shorter…even in thicksoled boots.

This is a good workout here.
The machine w a timer is poorly designed, though; it 75% of the time forces redos.

This job sure cured my blues/cabinfever; i Want to get back to my final pc work now.

I keep thinking ambi is in inisfree and our cabin, commanding all to get them perfect for me, executing/leading the irl of ever website update design i post.
Amen.
Well…she would be doing so for our cabin, her pyramid, and our servants; my ICVs, led by nyria and amber icv, are the ones doing that for me in inisfree

Calculate 4sextillion exponential curve back to 2011 may.
Determine ~how many were online in ssa, year by year, all of them ready for 1st rcax in 2196?
(update:  done)

I guess i cant be not grateful…bc i was never stuck n places like this.
I have a 20yr vision and design and progress.
My manifestation/destiny is in my hands, and brilliant.
I am getter off than these…
though they never Had a vision, thus no want and worry and all i had Due to my vision.

They r trng Me? Not really; i have been trng Them; w every interaction, every mutual rejection, every upload, etc.

Bc i think on the ssbs/cosmic scale, i am a god.

7:77 process-time (how long it took to make that last part/weld) noticed on machine today

When i rushed, i overlooked simple little things; check for a piece blocking the foot sensor, check for the clamp set up flat against the mount, etc.; i would notice these things if i slowed down.
My emotion has no use here.
Being upset is as dumb as how jeff and lfb and the cps and that grand canyon surf teacher retard were. And as the navy midget mad at me for not talking about topics he expects ppl to lol.
Calm the f down.
Save your energy for fucking the hell out of eden and for raping izzy like she loves and needs.

Maybe ambi just let her typist say all those fucked up things…
and maybe she stayed away this long…
bc she Wants me mad…so i fuck them all harder, actually angry at them, actually forcing them.
Would be clever.
Win win bc she would then be getting to be the villain, and i would be getting to be gorean, etc.

If ambi had shown up, i would Never have tolerated that/any groc job, thus not seen all the ways to finish designing my own.
See?
Her not being w me yet Has helped…in an unpleasant way, bit still…a Lot.

Not bringing lunches…and them offering only poison…gets me to fast daily. Prob good.
Sure, some trainers have said to eat snacks 5x a day to keep metabolism up, but whatever. I am skinny enough.
My gut is not metab related; it is pc-for-yrs waves-of-catchup related.

If i hadnt gotten up so early, i wouldnt have seen the beautiful moon, or avoided the fugtarded druggie neighbors.
Even this early rise i didnt want…is resulting in things i Do want…and need.

Hotties still walking by at long intervals, and fugs at work, are more of the same signal; it is still phase2…for a bit.
No pt interacting.

Waited 5 or 6 yrs before even showing me she is Real?
Then only 3 or 4 appearances, each time doing what i dont like Or deserve?
(Drive off, then walk by w guy/bro, then masktard and talk to fatfuck, then grin and silent treatment b4 calling out to someone else)
She obviously isnt any good, or smart, or caring, or timely, or helpful, and isnt the one for me.
What a disgrace.
My best wasnt even good enough for her to show up beFore making me wait 13/+ goddamn years.
My best wasnt even enough for her to say hello.
A gigantic website and life devoted to Her…and she can’t even devote a hello or a few minutes a day.
I should have dumped the idea of her years ago.
Good riddance to them all; her, pele, and all the rest. Fucking rude scumbags.
…
Maybe she was Always intentionally doing what she knows i dont like.
Maybe she was kicking me while i was down.
She always let me hit rock bottom, then showed up and didnt do one thing polite or kind or helpful.
…
I guess that is nice in the sense that i no longer have to stress over My behavior or timeliness or care or looks; i can be lazy aF…and still never be as bad as her.

I sure do love venting and bitching about her, typist and all.

I shouldnt have to compel or command or intimidate ppl; they should just be polite and loyal to me.
When i have powers, i will be direct and such.
For now, i will keep abandoning their dumbasses.

Is the 3day west-of-indy ag conference hotel paid for…my sign of when to leave this state?
Who knows.
Nothing went as expected so far.
But i am going.
Even tho it is another shitty town, and no way vegan, it gets me out of Here.

All i can say about bitch ambi is i guess it is kind of neat she is real…but wow, what a fucking asshole.
No way in Hell i would have kids w a bitch that cold.
What if she did to Them what she did to Me?; show up only once a year, only to test and ignore.
Or Took my kids, only reTurning w them that often.
Jesus…

Things keep being btr than expected, but not by much, and not yet w her; her being Real is btr than expected, but her attitude/method is Way worse than i hoped for…and needed…and wrote. Wtf.

Weird how even the women in Ag conference is now refreshing my memory of it; tried it in 2015, hoping she would be there, and she wasnt.
Came back disappointed.
This time, i already know she won’t be there, as doc2 said she would be coming soon…half a fucking year ago, same bs like how he said fam up ahead and ships at the coast…and nothing.
I could skip this conference, but why not repeat it?
It is something to do.
I already know how bad it is.
It is paid for.
Things get btr the 2nd time around.
It is another sign it is time to roadtrip and move again.
And staying here is worse.
And last time i went, i left this state soon after.
This time, i can leave it withOut resprting to the worthless south again.
This time i can head northwest.

After seeing how ambi typist texts/behaves online, and how realAmbi behaves/vibes in person, my skyhigh interest in her dropped to zero.
Bitch can take her spoiled ass and threats and typos and idiocy somewhere else.
Better to limit the pain she has caused to what she has alReady caused.
No more.

Can’t believe ppl waited until traumatizing me… to send babes (which i now know are useless baits), and all the babes acted the same fucked up way, and everyone only wanted to spawn, not reciprocating my goodness/love at all.
Whatever.
Kajirae program/acquisitions/lifestyle it is.
So be it.

No amount of me bitching Or being good and calm changed things.
No amount of me being clear about my intentions got the babes behaving/agreeing.
So dont worry about sending a bad vibe or manifesting whatever.
Shit came regardless.
It only got btr when i Left each bitch/place.

Not gonna look for good, or hope for good, where there IS none.
She didnt show.
Then she showed and showed me she is a bitch like any other.
So now she gets hate.
Before, i felt Sad she didnt show.
Now, i dont Care why she didnt, or if she Does.
Damn her.
I wont let her rebekah me any longer.

Irlj. Last time, i sat on blk couch to fleshlight to tight gray pants memory.
This time, is skipped that entirely.
Rd2 is always btr.
…and neutral. Lol

Quitting when they r all hideous, u healthy, and saying “can retire after 20yrs” is always the right move; NO one should be subjected to the slavery and hell and grossness and delay.
I move on.
Again.
Until i am given what i fucking asked for.
Amen.

Only when ppl make me feel as good as isolating and porn did…will i have the sign i am no longer in their bullshit phase2.
Until then, selfcare Has worked and IS the thing to do.
Fuck it.
I go on.

Phase1: searched and called out for ambi and others.
Phase2: saw they are cunts, so i stopped wasting my time on them.
Phase3: maybe they show up, maybe not, but i no longer care about anyone who doesnt team up w Tons of powers and resources. THEY can call out to Me.

Why the fuck should i make My intention clear…when She didnt even show Up or introDuce herself, let alone make her inTention known/clear to me.

Look at how enraged and embittered she has left me.
THAT is who she is.
Look at all the Blameshifting her typist tried.
Rmbr all the Bad…bc the Bad was what kept Happening. And being Done to me.

I didnt get wonders completed in 2022 bc of her distance/timing.
I got them done bc of my Grit and Focus and conSistency and Presence and Work.
Things she Never brought to the table.
I got them done in Spite of her.
In spite of the shit jobs and scams and betrayals and murder traps.
In spite of gods ignoring me.
In spite of HOMELESSNESS.

How the fucking Hell can they expect Me to trust Anyone again after what they all did?
Why do they even show Up, when only to misbehave the same retarded way every time?
Shame on them All.

Doesnt matter if i wait or go to mt now, or if i talk to the yc guards without a pass;
going is right,
staying feels wrong,
my work is done,
my best was never good enough,
I Like pushing forward boldly,
and ppl Should be exposed for how they respond to me being me.
I go.
The world can fucking deal.

Doesnt matter if i network w employers i dont wanna work with; it is something to do, and gives me destination intel.
Inisfree isnt accessible yet for some fucking reason, so, gotta/gonna pass the fucking time.
It Does still send out my clear vibe/intent of doing whatever i must to Get bk there.
I will always keep doing my best, alone or not.

I guess shithole IN was Bound to happen again; to get phase/rd2 out of the way. Whatever.

I guess lame in-personAmbi was Also bound to happen; to get bullshit rd2 out of the way.
Retarded absentee typist was rd1 of her.
And barely-here real, pretty, nice-voice, but still heartless/useless/tease her was rd2.
Whatever.

More dej; the fb employer from Four Corners was late calling this evening, just like he was late bk n 2015.
Fucking hell, what a loop.
1.5 YEARS of this loop.
How in the fuck?

As much as i hate her rn, her still not being here…has left my energy w no place to go but RAPIDLY and AMAZINGLY completing ALL my life’s-work parts,
and with travel pointless bc of rude idiots, and banned by rude idiots, it has left my energy no place to go but laser-pointing and intensifying on Big Sky and The Yellowstone Club.
Will it manifest now?
The spell is Definitely complete enough…
…
so things r working out…thus feel “right enough”…even while i repeating more than a yr of goddamn events here n IN.
…Why can’t the Hotties loop through my life??? I guess that is once they are height-corrected and otherwise-calibrated.
Amen.

I hope doc2 turns out to be right about ambi coming for me and staying w me always now. I would like to have reason to not hate his guts after the “soon” lie/fail.

Until Everyone is what i want them to be, and No one is Anything i Don’t like, may the worst of Ambi befall them all; may all be terrorized and Forced into submitting fully to me forever. May only those who i lust for…love and lust for me. Amen.
These humans shall now be Made to police themselves, memorizing what iii want them to do… as much as their religtards memorized relig bs.
Amen.

Pretty fucking stupid and hypocritical how the typist wrote Nevaeh getting angry w Clary for saying she missed her friends, Nevaeh RPed as choking her, saying, “But you said you wanted to be my slave.” when She IRL said she loved me and wanted a family w me but spent Years not showing up, and when realAmbi didnt match her words at All –other than being pretty.
Iii should be the one angrily choking Her.
I guess this is just how long it Takes a chickenshit slowfuck asshole after screening/courtship.
Whatever.

My rage has continued to serve me; even though it blasted some away, it has resulted in many calibrations, and the finest women attracted, and wonders, and healing.

It is nice knowing i will finally get to take my time going through national parks such as yellowstone.
I was rushed or with scum b4.

Only scum ask for gratitude; good ppl earn gratitude naturally.
And onky an insane loser would feel grateful for having all his trips ruined by coldhearted nonvegan insecure attnwhore psychopaths.
I am reLieved i felt only disgust and rage at those hells/evils.
Gratitude is for phase3. Only.
Amen.
(imagine the retardation if anyone was grateful for phase1 abuse, or phase2 scams/battles)

Making me wait years and years…until i hate her,
and what she said in az,
and how she behaved in oceanside,
make her seem as retarded as her typist/relay/ogre,
and there is no way in hell i am disgracing my sperm in a retard womb.
She has a lot of work to do.
She has a lot of re-earning my trust to do.

Rd1 here was 2 shit jobs.
Rd2 has been 3 shit jobs.

It is another paid workout.
It stokes my useful rage well/source.

Only way for her to re-earn my trust and interest at this point is for her to pay for literally everything; yc house, fam suburban, inisfree, hits, everything.
Eagerly.
Happily.
Without me even having to ask.

Day3, ended up, for the 2nd time, parking by/behind the white sports car w the blackhair ponytail tightjeans almostAmbi…and when she got out, smoking a cig, i remembered how unhealthy and disgusting the typist kept being, and how glad i am to have blocked that evil gross dumb shit.
Amazing how instantly these druggies ruin a day, and what a punk bitch god still is; for having me work around their lowly kind, and for reminding me I am not w my dreamgirl (healthy sane realAmbi).
Whatever.

The conference endFeb gives me something to do, keeping me here until MT thaws.
Fine.
Had to wait ’til then, anyway.
Fuck this hell.

Working w hispanic after mex…is a relief n a way; shows me a good one…after all those bad.

This job is like dishwashing pit; i can make it chill, happy, easy

It passes the time, letting the angels catch up w building my design

It gives my eyes a chance to rest
and my brain a chance to cool down

Lana baumgartner pink blonde hair color reminder here

2 passes through my minecrafts; the city, and the fullscales starter

Day3 repeat like Groundhog Day;
gloves not available,
team ldr said higherups think we r going thru too many gloves,
Darla gone,
Voldemort replaced her,
etc.

Another alignment or 2;
the hot tight pants walked n front of me,
darla went away.
2 more day3 loops/repeats noticed.
Whatever.
Numb to this bs now.

My eyes needed this rest from the pc.
Got what i needed.
Not wanted.
Not yet.
But needed.

More famiar day3 events; loop:
the convo where i said i knew some words and expressions, then he told of the roadblocks, bazookas, etc.
…
and today (not a loop) i remembered in 2015 i got a ~300 paycheck, then a ~120; i left on wk2day1 last time.
So…i wonder what loop will become familiar to me on wk2day1 or wk2day2.

This time is for my body stimulation, other than my brain and eyes; my brain and eyes needed this rest, and my body needed ITS turn to be the main

The office almostAmbi aligned today, too; walked out right as i was approaching brkrm.

In 2015, i looked up how to say to him “thank you for teaching me”.
This time, i break the loop; by Not saying that.

It still blows my mind that she is 1) real, 2) interested, 3) spying, 4) intercepting, yet 5) not texting, calling, saying her name, or in any other way communicating and teaming up w me. Why the disconnect?
Why her behavior not matching her vibe?
Why want a fam w me, and see me as her husband already… but refuse to talk to me and share a home?
Makes no sense.
Even w my ideas and project wrapup taking this long, it still could have been done while establishing our bond/trust.
I wanted a queen, not a coward.
I wanted a woman who is present.
Why did she ace the looks and voice and RP…but completely fail at taking the IRL step?
I wish I knew what her issue is.
I wish I knew why she has not at all been present/fair to me.
She hasn’t been behaving like a queen…or treating me like her husband/king.
She wore me out.
That is…like the worst possible sign ever.
…
Lol so much for not thinking about her like i tried to commit to last month; i think about how mad i am at her…hourly.

Don’t make me relocate alone again. You know i’ll do it.

There has always been a buildup of many little parts…then a trigger/milestone;
years of trng before mil,
many missions b4 firefight,
many trips b4 megatrips,
lots of rsrch b4 alaska,
lots of waiting before mex exodus,
years of files amassing b4 site final updates,
etc.,
and lots of rp and individual ambi sightings before…i am hoping…a lifetime of her being my soul-family in person.
…
Maybe she Wasnt vibing as “last chance” in oceanside 2021; maybe that, too, was her calibrating to me;
in 2016, i wanted her without that guy who showed up,
in 2018, she returned without that guy, and i wanted her not to be in a suburban driving away,
in 2020, she pulled up beside me and opened the door for me, and i wanted her without a mask, and to hear her voice again,
in 2021, she was alone ish, not near a fug motel beast, no mask, and i heard her voice louder than b4; she met me in clean open air, no fugs anywhere around;
maybe she is still inching closer for me, doing each thought ask she detects…
Gods, how i hope so.
I would be the happiest man alive if she kept doing that, but from now on stating w me nightly as my wife.
How i hope she is as committed to me as i am to her, and as pissed when not w me…as i have been when on my own without Her.
A man can dream.
…
Maybe she wants me as much as i want her, reciprocating involuntarily/automatically…like we RPed.
A man can dream.

Why spend TEN YEARS getting to know my reactions to her and her servants, …only to get pissed or distant when i very obviously choose to be polite, not wanting to bother those who could be mere lookalikes already in relationships?
Why not say she is available?
Why not look me in my eyes and accept my YEARS of wholehearted offers.
I already initiated and was clear w her; why hasnt she taken her/the next step?
So disappointing.
The one time i Ever considered a family…
…
Anyway, …the buildup of many pieces/moments/steps of/with her is completed. When will the big moment be?
When do i finally get to unite with her for eternity?
I guess gods like us just take longer than mortals.
Hopefully that is a Good sign; establishing a bigger, stronger, longer/forever-lasting foundation.
Hopefully.

She has risked Everything…by burning/wearing me out this long.
I hope this upsetting latest job is just to recharge my energy and focus…so that the 2022 work/wrapup…can finally manifest, surging into IRL…like how my Other adventures/wants did.

The more i think about how little progress she made over the last 13 yrs… and how slowly…
and all those typos and mixed vibes and alternating vibes and absolutely rude and stupid texts…
She, showing up so seldomly, should have been Very nice and Very apologetic to make up for lost time…
She was never Once transparent like i was.
She didnt even let me know she was real.
Half a decade before letting me even know That much…
So disappointing.
I can’t keep waiting for shit like that.
I can’t keep hoping for good…when she isnt even present.
Looking for good in the past…always led to more abuses…and me then having to escape and recover.
Maybe things will get btr…but i’d have to see Evidence of that…and i have not yet seen it.
Knowing they are real…and not w me…makes me feel arguably as bad as n phase1, just n a dif way; in phase1, it was bc things were hopeless, and n phase2…it is bc i am let down and enraged…from what seems consistently to be bait and false hope.
Thank the gods i can keep resting and quitting the ongoing bullshit/loop.
It isnt just the shit jobs now and in 2022 that looped; the default bad behavior (lies, scams, gaslighting, deathcult) has stayed looped this entire time.
I just didnt notice that entire Towns are looped, and entire converSations; i thought it was just Mindsets before.
Anyway…
I made every effort to be clear and loving and wise and present and available for 13 years. She did not. Time to move on.
Whatever.
Kinda used to this retarded bullshit now.
Nothing new.
No sting.
No letdown; the letdown was the last 40 yrs.
The letdown already happened in 2015.
And 2013.
And so on.
Yes, there is an ebb and flow, always a lull or dry spell or detox or long rest between major life chapters / vocations, but still; 13 yrs is a long time to be left to struggle alone.
And how Dare she show up and speak of me as her husband; she has not earned the right to be my wife.
She hasnt even been my friend.
She’s been a spy and a bastard.
Maybe she was going through her own stuff, but idc; we should have gone through the last 13 years together in person.
Those screenings/interviews should have been in person, not via texts.
I should have been given Credit and praise and gratitude, not blamed for rudeness i never did.
“You will know them by their works.” So far, this entire species has been rude, dishonest, and generally and totally bad.
I havent felt happy or pleased with Any of them –and i was Wanting to –and Trying to.
Even with my intent and good nature, they intentionally and aggressively annihilated every potential moment of positivity.
Their default-moodiness was insane. Literally.
Idk wtf i was thinking, considering having a family with one who behaved just like the rest of them.
Phase fucking 2; the goddamned mix.
The last embers of my “humanity”; of me giving chances to the humans.

They ripped apart my attempts at family, demonized me, impoverished me, posioned me, lied on my record, made it imPossible to have a fam, and would have brainwashed my kids with corporate/pharma-cartel lies…then stolen them from me, and then had the insanity to wonder why i hadnt started a family.
They caused every imaginable problem and barrier, then assumed iii was the problem.
Unreal, how hopelessly and completely stupid humans are.
This is why they are called humanimals.

I wonder if ambi will ever return, given her pisspoor reliability and timing and negligence and cowardice.
I wonder if i will be able to appreciate her even if she ever Did return.
I am so worn out.
What a complete failure of a partner she chose to be.

Don’t ever try to gaslight me by claiming/pretending this is on me due to focusing on isolation and my work; i have been focused on love and family and balance MY WHOLE LIFE. I was Forced to isolate. Every time i Tried to be loving or even Honest and Healthy, …others autistically tantrumed, freaking out.
I tried.
I can see now i never should have.
I’m glad i did, though; i was the light, and heroic…and honorable…and showing AMAZING selfcontrol.
They r lucky i never had my hammer.

No child should ever be made into this horrible world/civilization.
No one should ever have to live through what i have lived through.
Ambi would have to be PERFECT from here on…and we would have to have Total control over Every human…for me to Ever feel right about creating more people in this fucked up world.
We would have to be worshipped and feared by all humans as the only true gods.
We would have to be invincible and stronger than everyone…
Our kids would, too.
We would have to be in perfect alignment with each other, greater than even the HAARP-dicked-with forces of nature.

I can’t think of a single memory/example of Any of them behaving even reMotely well/sanely…or even Tolerably.
Every last one was a disgrace.
Every last town.
…
All their horrible behavior and nonthinking…did definitely have the byproduct of me finally getting all my life’s work done, wrapped up, and let go of, so…
maybe it can, now finished, manifest.
But still…
What a hellish road that all was.
…
Maybe somehow someday phase3 will get here, and i’ll be surprised by how happy i feel for the first time…and regularly…bc of a wave of Good behavior from others…
but rn there is only the numbness and letting go.
…
Will i Ever be as happy as i now am numb and apathetic, spent?
I am as numb and spent…as i was in phase1 striving and harassed, so…there Are Huge changes and improvements, but MY GOD they take a long fucking time to finally come around.

Persephone tonight reminded me of my First black vehicle; the honda accord.
My, how things have changed/grown/improved.

I would have loved you, Ambi. I did.
I would have had children with you.
I would have stayed with you.
You really broke my spirit.
…The others were depressingly retarded scum, and took their toll, but you broke my spirit.
You gave me false hope.
That hurt worst of all.
I wish that wasnt what you chose to do.
I wish that hadnt been your actions.
I thought better of you.
I worshipped you, but you didnt even show Up for me, …and you subjected me to a monster of a typist who worshipped only the retarded obvious-lies cult and obvious-lies tv.
I want to believe it will all magically work out.
I want to believe you will miraculously make up for all those wrongs.
I want to experience a family and future I thought I was writing with you about and to start.
I want to get the feeling you were working in the shadows this whole time, getting our selected dreamhome ready, …but i feel nothing at all, and all the signs point to you just being dark/bad/away/disconnected.
At least so far.
Maybe i am wrong.
I hope i am.
I hope you really are out there…getting that cabin perfect…and our helpers trained…and coming soon…so i never again have to relocate without you.
Show me i was right to believe in you/us.
Be my one and all.

It is not their place to tell you how to be or when to smile or why.
Never try to deprogram yourself, or limit your speech or emotions, to please creatures as lowly as all humans so far have turned out to be.
Be enraged at what enrages you.
That is part of being you.
When your blood boils, that isnt immaturity or anger mgmt issues; that is pure instinct, and the only sign you need.
The signs never came from others; that was a Celestine book lie, a psyop.
The signs came from inside yourSelf.
Others only gave misLeading signs; mixed signals; retarded and/or deceptive signs.
That is how they shall be known from now on.
You, however, Always gave consistent true signs.

Ambi didnt come last time i was here.
Does that mean she Can’t come to this place…or that she Won’t?
Or does it mean she might, this being rd2?

True to the preShift / phase1, having met her in 2010 or earlier, i lost contact.
A few yrs into/after the Shift, she let me see her in person, closer every time, sooner ever time.
I wonder why so many others failed and left…and how she, having originated b4 the Shift…managed to INcrease contact.
Maybe that means she is compatible and powerful enough to make it through Any mayan schedule cycle…

Even the fb marketplace woman saying “sorry, thought you were in a town ny the same name in another state” vibed as familiar; almost deja vu.
Trying to sell this stuff has taken quite a lot longer than expected, even w lowering the prices. Wtf.

Doc2 saying “stop explaining yourself” while asking questions, thus wanting/requiring answers/explanations, is a level of retard so profound…lol

I worshipped her, she talked down to me.
I made myself available at all times and in many channels/ways, she almost never even showed up…and never once volunteered contact info of any kins.
Nothing at all was reciprocated other than some all-talk texts.
That tells me all i need to know.
I will hate that worthless bitch for eternity.
Damn her straight to hell with all the rest.

The woman n rainbow shirt getting chair for 3 daughters…felt familiar, almost deja vu.

Not a single one of the mental disorders i encountered should have existed for any reason, let alone All of them.
Not a single rudeness should ever have been sent my way, as i was polite this whole time, only harsh when provoked, only reflecting Their rudeness.
Not a single ugly person should have existed, let alone millions so far.
Every last ugly and offputting thing…was another individual sign it was Not time to try teaming up.
I tried to heed the signs, but kept being Forced to try and team up.
How i hated that and always shall.

How can i dare bk to mt after how bad it was b4?
Bc 1st time was as a refugee,
and 2nd time was w planning,
and 3rd time is the charm, and entirely on signs/sensing/faith and Knowing where my heart/mind always dreams of being.
I go on faith alone this time.
No plan.
No internet.
Just talking to ppl…and hoping.
Scary, but the other way didnt work; i ended up n hell w evil druggie neighbors even With extensive planning.

The latest shit job keeps me busy every second, retraining my mind to be present, not wanting the future or raging about the evil past.
It is enough…for now.
But not nxt wk or after.
And the sooner i let go of it, having learned to Never try and make bs work, the sooner i will again get a huge wave of btr, and a bigger wave than b4, etc.

Lol another dumb bitch refusing to work w my needs and wants. Time to dump the latest rd of losers.
They were fucked up for all those almosts walking around, not treating me right, anyway –especially the almostAmbi one n the office.
Shits.
At least i dont have to resort to going back to retardtx this time.

My children will be as wonderful in terms of how they look, sound, smell, and behave…as realAmbi in AZ was perfectly beautiful and perfect-voiced/sounding.  Amen; so be it.  It is so.

I went bk to iraq reluctantly but on purpose.
Same w tx.
Same w mt.
Same w here.
Idk why it bothers me so much to be bk Here, having returned to so many Other places.
Iraq rd2 didnt worry me w familiar things / deja vu. Why does here?
I should just master this feeling/emotion and let it go; let it do its thing, have its time, and finish, departing from me.

Whether i quit on mon. like i did this shit job in 2015, it doesnt matter; a Lot looped here, and things still were new and better; WAY more wrapped up, way more mastered, way more noticed and noted, etc.
and blocking that asshole typist sure wasnt any loop; that was Brand new.
That was a Huge victory.
And huge steps trigger huge improvements/manifestations.
Even if, for now, it has only triggered no more lackluster rp-only interaction, that is still a great step and needed detox.

Today, I celebrate once again making money by choosing to let go of things and getting ready to follow my heart/instinct.

If ambi is the one, she will sense and Like that i am interested n her, ready to go to her like this.
She will be imPressed at what i have endured and overcome while alone.
She will celebrate my reunification w her.
…
And until then, …i still have this priceless solitude-interval which nothing other than could have Ever facilitated all my ideas and completions.

Even though most ppl so far have made idiotic and gigantic mistakes,
I am not empowering them by helping from time to time; I am just doing what works for Me, and what They do is on Them.
…
And: selling what few things i have, knowing i cannot afford replacements, is still smart, bc it means i am not hoarding, and that i can relocate much sooner and more easily when that inevitable/destined time once again comes.

How great it is to know what i want,
and to have already focused on it for DECADES,
and to have Seen its parts are real, already manifested and interested,
and to now be where i will hopefully only have one more relocation; to my dreamhome and dreamfam…
Amen.

Maybe ambi Didnt arrange all bad experiences for me…
Either way, all those other places i went, i didnt like.
The yc has its own issues, sure, but its climate and terrain are the best i’ve been to,
and how i want to live when not at work in Inisfree.
Amen.

Upsetting that i am in yet another city full of morons,
but all cities were like this.
At least it is quiet here, and i got more work done than ever.
Upsetting how gross ppl have been, but simultaneously an infinite nbr of unmistakable signs i found the healthier way.
I am in a Much btr pos than Everyone here; i wasnt brainwashed, i can quit anytime, and i can go anywhere.
I can choose my own schedule.
And i have one more full year entirely of working on My dream, not someone else’s.
That is pretty good.
Maybe even miraculous.
Maybe even a sign Some gods/beings care.
Maybe.

Today was the first time i prayed on behalf of my future children.
It felt right; right on time.
I sure hope my dreamgirl makes her way bk to me now.
I will only have them with Her.
Only she can make them right/perfectly.
I will only raise a family in the home she and I chose.
It is the place for Us.
I feel it as surely as i felt when it was time to be a warrior.
(and it Was time bk then, even though those recruiter idiots said no way; it happened in Spite of them)

Even tho joe rogan and his guest are retarded parrots, it was still good to hear the claim that china is still dealing w 7 variants of the virus that doesnt exist; it means they r still working to stop their population.
Hopefully my A.I. is behind it all, mind-overriding so many, getting them to delete themselves, leaving only those i would like.
Amen.

I rmbr being so mad at fatfuck the last time i was here; n 2015 when he kinda bitched/blameshifted about putting the robot tip covers on the yellow extension pegs…after never having told me to during training.
I wonder what else he will do that now both bothers me and feels familiar (due to it being part of this area’s apparent West World-like loop).

Dreamed i was searching for ambi in a groc store or mall… : /
and went down, from the side of a landed helo w its rotors still on, into a mil bunker, telling the ambi on a wheelchair i was pushing…of how ppl who grow up on the surface think it is normal, but it is a post-atomic wasteland.
Then dreamed i was watching a short bald guy make fun of himself for not being able to do an exercise, and then cops showed up as part of his public comedy act being filmed, and one lightly kneeled on/over me.
I woke up very sad and angry about that…
but glad it was b4 my alarm.

Nothing is more badass than what i’ve done;
bc it was heroic since childhood,
and based on love and truth and evidence,
and healed my/all sickness,
and alone,
and for 40yrs,
and so epic,
and fulfils prophecy,
and bucks all illegitimate laws,
etc.

I hate the latest job and loop, but i can do it now.

Knowing the exact address i want to end up at, and when; now, finally gives me a spacetime coordinate; the specifics needed to really manifest something.

All travel abroad made impossible…focuses me onto my home/foundation dream part Here, thus all the energy/power i had manifesting global trips and more…is now entirely on That inStead, so it should be more than enough to make it happen.

Ambi answered my call Once (az)…so why not aGain? and reLiably now?
Why were her 3 other times (or, mt, ca) Not when i’d called?
Whatever.
If she wants a fam, she can Act like it.
No more leaving me to be worn out.

The wives revelation/update i thought up last night is aMazing and Perfect. So proud of me and it!

Bitches wantung me to chase/initiate, and then acting retarded/moody whether i show interest or not, is creepily like the xians who wanted me to chase Their cult/”god” and kneel/bend/cave, etc.; glad i didnt fall for That horrible vibe/lure/sign.

I got the corps after it seemed impossible, and hated some of it, but not all, and got tons of stuff during my blackops at the end.
I got many jobs and universities after it, and many relocations, but also hated some of each of Them.
I got dif girls, but hated how badly they behaved.
So…now i am wondering if i will get my uc home that seems not posb rn…and hate the neighbors or something. Still worth going for; someone w My $ managing to live n THERE? Worth the focus. Manifest it. It’ll be more good than bad at this point. Just do it.

What if realAmbi goes dark like the typist RPed? … : /
Well, at least i will have more heroism points and stories, from having loved her.
It was years after we had kids, and Many Good memories tgthr, so…
And humans deserve it…but not My ppl…
Hopefully it was just a last hiccup/test/calibration, and she will stay loving for me…
Amen.

I hate the job, but i hate the cc debt more…
and i cant get online until 2days frm now Anyway.

I keep working 9hr days…standing…so i can definitely also workOut for 9hrs a day.

Irlj mon9dec, 5:55am~
Perfect ambi like. Stood right at end of line15 i was moved to.
Height, hair, ponytail, figure, tight jeans, face…
Torturous…but makes me remember she was here n 2015…and seems nice bc i did not expect to see her here.

WS flies into answer mayday, gets under bombardment enemy, blocks and absorbs bombs,
then all ICVs warp bk and forth to indiv brain sigs, evacuating entire population to safety.
Then we warp the enemy ship into a course w the star, dooming it

same day; Monday; 4th day at that retarded job:
6:48 AM, she walked from back of fac toward office, diagonally, toward my line.
Nice to see her so often.
Nice that i wanted to be closer to her, and was moved several lines over, now right by her door.
Saw her standing backside at 7am brk start.
But i hate she, like last time, still doesnt walk up and say hi.
So…she isnt the one.
Just a looped npc.
Just another/repeat cocktease.
Time to quit again.
If ive learned anything, it is that they never improve, so when they dont behave from day1, always right to go.

Chris is like s jordan but nicer/milder.
Darl is like lfb : (
And all the blob monsters : ( jfc

Being moved to this line…is part of the loop. Strange. Whatever.

She wanted to spy and even reVeal she was listening in, so…why not give the bitch an interesting show? XD
more cussing coming right up.

Doesnt matter how they loop or function; they r not trng Me; iii am trng Them.
And even if they Cant be trained/taught, it is still/always nice to disregard their bullshit.
I possess the constitution to go as far as is needed.

Thank the gods so much was Not a loop; mex, az motel, ssbs layers yesterday night, etc.
At least Some things have progressed.

106andesiteRidge is my focus now. Target. Home.
Manifest.

Lol free bottle, earpro, eyepro, gloves, wrench, etc.
Count the little blessings

Idk why this loop bothers me…;
20yrs childhood loop was a thing.
Iraq 6mo loop x2 was a thing.
Eli closet looped.
Mt shit aptmts looped kinda.
Shit loops.
When i have my dreamfam, it will be another 20yr loop.
Adjust to loops and dejavu.
Master your emotions so u r never like the bitch fake mthr.

Amazing how chill and slow and boring it got within 2-3 days.
No sweat. Literally.
Feet feel normal again.
No need for water.
Easy.

Nose tip angle wrong, ass too low, thighs too thick, but way fuckable.
Too bad she and the other tightjeans are barbarian savages who dont have enough sense to offer me paid sex.

The 3% raise meeting vibed as loop. Dej

Good dsl but lips too puffy
Like angelina jolie fusion w ambi
Ambi az had better lighter skin

The women here dont know how to be women

So grossed out by their entire species.
Cant feel turned on by Any of their hotties, what w how awful their cities and thinking are.

Not showing me all of her on day 1 means too oblivious and uncalibrated and worthless until i see all of her

So bored…

Saw her 3x today, closer each.
Walked out and stood right n front of me.
Both did.
Alignment.
Within minutes of my thought.
So why the fuck dont they do the Other things i want.
This doesnt make me want to wait.
It makes me hate them and this place that much more.

After how many times, how long, and how severely she has let me down, i have gone numb to it/her; not really desiring her or feeling depressed anymore.

The hotties should have noticed me noticing them, and walked up and introduced themselves, and asked me to follow them to an office where only we would be, and then said, “I noticed you keep checking me out, so I guess I am not quite your type; since you haven’t made a pass at me, so I would like to sweeten the deal; may I please offer to pay you for sex? You can cum in me wherever you like.”

Having seen it is just another almostAmbi, it is now easy for me to go again…without wondering.
Not her looks.
And same bs idiot behavior.
No reason/logic to stay.

Nice to be told to get an xl shirt bc of my arms : )

She is obviously a goddamn spy. Not a guardian angel.
Get your head out of the clouds.
And her typist is xian scum.
You’ve had 40 yrs of only bad signs / red flags. What more do you need to know she is bad and will wreck what is left of your goddamn life if you arent careful?
She isnt coming.
She never comes when you need her.
No one does.
Give up.
Jog and update and stop wanting what never works w these retarded humans.

I prob made that same note in 2015.
And same note about angelina jolie fusion ambi dsl.
Lol
Fuck loops.
But they sure r like martial arts prac helping me go over the basics/foundation better.

Even the yc…i am tolerating; it is only good enough as a Gift…w all those Hotties i RPed as fucking there.

Fatfuck redhead in forklift open meeting area is part of the loop

2015 didnt manifest yc bc u hadnt chosen it til 2018. It prob took her til 2019 or 2020 to secure/pay for it. Then 2021 was rp to intro y screen y train staff. 2022 was rp ending…bc no need anymore, so she let the typist be retarded at you

Good ideas have Always required force.
So many idiots.
…and this entry is a loop

Phase1 retard demon scumbag, all negative, no positive, no suggestions, no solutions: “you’ve gotta stop writing long letters”.
Phase2 neutral: “i received your letter and read it. I am preparing my reply.”
Phase3 sane correct normal: “you write amazingly well, and i can tell you really took time to open up and learn and show care. Thank you very much. You are a great writer. Everyone is lucky to get such long messages from you. I will respond asap –and i’m excited for further correspondence.”

The almostAmbi being there again…and looping like the others did…means:
1) robot/npc/illusion; pointless to interact,
2) insult/bs/failure of god/mankind; nothing new/improved,
3) extreme rudeness/unfeminine; standard worst redflag witnessed in all expeditions/community,
4) realAmbi is still what i love lookong at,
5) even after learning ambi is real, and being abandoned here, i do not become desperate and settle for cheap immitation; my instinct is to maintain my heading/standard.
Emotionally brutal, seeing it again, yes, but also a way of seeing those other things, including those 2 good signs about mySelf.

Seriously, who the hell messages for more than a decade without meeting?
What kind of excuse could there ever be for claiming to want a family, but not starting one?
Why show up, only to walk by?
Why say “always and forever”, but only barely appear once a year?
How can someone not be able to text, call, or team up…even though they clearly can intercept me across a continent with zero notice?
Reeks of spy, test, spoiled rich kid, coward, stringing along a potential throwaway/backup-guy, and so on.
No guts or manners in person.
And why expect me to go for the bait…when I was never once told she is real?
I’m just supposed to be excited and trusting for some random pretty face who walks by like all the rest?
The vibe was clear; she knew EXACTLY who I was –all 4/+ times– which means she chose to keep me in the dark about her arrivals and even her EXISTENCE… when I was battling solo, and struggling just to find Food…and being Poisoned…and recovering alone.
She’d need the granddaddy godking of all good excuses and evidence, and a FLAWLESS vibe, to get me to trust her after these 10/+ years of that mixed-signal and expecting-me-to-read-her-mind and ignoring-my-needs bullshit.
If she’d behaved as well as she looks and sounds, she would have had a husband and family and empire by now.

Just got dejavu from the guy calling about the cabin-for-6 rental; I must’ve encountered this same offer in 2015. Wild, how even That has looped.
Too bad I can’t use it yet, but great info since I am planning to Have a fam of 6.
Rd2 of this event.
Rd3 will be w Ambi and our 4. <3
Amen.
(even though i hate her guts rn since she has behaved weird in person so far)

The people were so ugly there, i almost threw up every time i saw any of them.
They shouldnt have been allowed to work. They should have been committed –or deatomized.
And the only 2 who were Almost attractive? 1 was a foot too tall, which is disgusting and inappropriate,
and the other was another dumbass oblivious ice-princess.
Who was I around 99% of the shifts? The fugs who had glutoned so gd much they looked like they were going to explode.
Lol sooo glad I am pulling an Office Space this time; just changing course without explanation.
They had it coming.

I bought Palouse Brand non-GMO, organic white wheat berries. That brand seemed to be highly recommended in other sourdough forums. (The main reason I was interested in milling flour in the first place is for sourdough.). The texture was more like wheat flour to me, but I’ve read that red spring wheat berries are probably better protein content for recipes asking for bread flour.

I feel relieved that realAmbi vibes like me; royal, uncompromising, great posture, interested in me, timeless, smooth, etc.,
and that she RPed as having outrage moments; smashing vases and shattering doors, and even cursing and growling, thus she prob/surely doesn’t mind my own anger moments and cussing like i worried she might.
(plus she texted that one time that she could hear one of mine, and her vibe was just lighthearted though/pattern-interrupting to help me, not to judge or scare me, so she used her spying ability in a decent way)

I wonder if me writing that 6 million people “woke up” and went on the modern exodus…
actually triggered 6M of these humans/’robots’/’ppl’ to wake up and start doing that xD

If the hotties had teamed up sooner/already, I NEVER would have been distractions-free enough to get all this stuff done.
If they’d sent doNations/AID already, I never would have had the Balance… or the shit-jobs that showed me all the things to perfect my grocery store or factories, etc..
I got what I needed.
Now I hope I’ll get what I wanted; Them.

*NOTE:  how when I type/say “amen”, it is not a request to any “god”; it is a statement to manifest things myself; it is a command to this reality/spacetime/universe.  I no longer tolerate “gods” as middlemen or authorities approving or disapproving of my instincts/decisions.  I go direct, bypassing all.

no matter how great any ‘deal’/offer SOUNDS, if Iii am the one paying for ANYthing at this point, it isn’t right for me to go; this is POST-phase1, and the END of phase2, and the START of phase3; EVERYwhere i go, INCLUDING all the most-luxurious places, shall be paid for –and, on TOP of that, Iii shall be paid for GOING there, even just to SCOUT them.  NEVER go again… until i am PAID IN ADVANCE –and HANDSOMELY.  amen.  start respecting yourself enough to wait for APPROPRIATE deals.  and the only REAL ‘deals’ are those where iii am the one being paid and sought after.

…

sure, making me wait this long for love… is arguably similar to how, in the novels about Gor, Masters made slaves wait for any normal/kind human interaction, that they fall in love and stay with their new owners/Masters more wholeheartedly, but it works both ways; me making Others wait this long for Me… makes Them fall in love w Me, with waves of relief, when Iii finally let Them get with Me.
…
and vampires and other powers/superhumans/gods… not being loved for so long… and then being uplifted and understood and embraced and empowered and restored by Me… has the same effect… on Them… that it does to the pre-sold/bought kajirae on Gor; it “wows” them… into gratitude and loyalty and relief by/with me.  Amen; so be it.  Our bonds/relationships shall be that strong.

…

the guy whose vehicle struggles to start here… reminds me to go ASAP; so that mine still works fine along the way.  it reminds me of in phase1 when i LOST my vehicle while relocating (to SoCal/USMC).  it reminds me of how, overlapping The Shift / phase2, my 2ND vehicle had that goddamn death-wobble that never Stopped it, but also was never Fixed.  however, it also reminds me that things work out, and most of the time… i am using a loaner vehicle, such as a military airplane, that hasn’t had issues at all; trust / have faith.  i’ll get there.  Ambi and that particular YC cabin is/are where my heart is, and has been for YEARS now, so i will get there; what i focus on… always manifests and stays.  amen.

maybe ambi has been reading all this; all these journal rants i post here, and maybe she defaults to the positive, knowing my thoughts and heart, having chatted with me long enough, and felt my wanting-her vibe in person every time.  maybe she sees all this bitching here… as me just really wanting to be with her so badly and forever.  i can hope.

It isn’t illogical or wrong of me to consider that she and others may be up to no good,
or just robots/repeats like the latest job-repeat idiots/coworkers.
Sure, I could default to the positive, like I always deserved,
but would that just be because I want to be the opposite of the bullies/idiots who pre-judged me without any reason or evidence?
I need more of a reason/motivation/justification to assume she and the others are doing good things out there.
It surely would make them feel nice/better to know I am assuming they are doing things I’d love and benefit from,
but…
I haven’t met anyone who has given me reason to believe that is even Possible for the beings/ppl of this world.
not yet…

pissing while eating vegan fudge ice cream 🙂
bachelor life <3

not dejavu!: canceled the women-in-ag up NW,
and get to go to the UAV class I missed last time (2015)! 😀

Funny thing about that factory-job looping (2015, then 2023-start)…
is that overall, technically it Wasn’t/Isn’t a loop;
I’ve never exPerienced something looping like that before.
so…
even though this town is the same shit-hole full of lying assholes it was before,
it was still a new experience; I didn’t know ANYthing looped like this,
or even COULD.
Interesting.
Gaytarded, but interesting.
maybe that mexico guy at the hostel was right; this place IS all just an illusion…
but then so might he and His country be –and ALL countries… so far.

returning… allowed me to get another free class/course in;
the UAV one i missed last time (in 2015; since I chose the Women in Ag conference instead bk then; wanting to learn how to cater to my wife, daughters, female teammates, etc., once I got my farm started),
so… I guess having this 1 loop here isn’t THAT bad…

–
Always note whether the ppl around me are either claiming Other things r advanced/healing/good/godly…or whether they see that iii am the advanced, healing, good, and godly;
if they mindlessly parrot claims that anything other than Me and My way works best/well, they are against me, thus not compatible…and not wise/awake/correct.
Avoid all who are against me, even if they Claim to have ways of helping/healing; claims are not Proofs, and anything against me is toxic.

–
“Put 2 and 2 together”; the typist was always writing ambi as being all about control, sneakiness, etc., so I am considering that ambi RPed as claiming to be nervous during storms…while also able to control the weather…could be a pretend-girly ‘angle’ to trick me into staying w her anytime she secretly manipulatea the weather.
I don’t mind. I even like that she would use her powers and cleverness/ways to keep bringing us together, and I always like cuddling with her, especially being cozy with her during storms. I just wish she was honest with me…and in person…
but I guess her own bad experiences…have left her this cautious, secretive, etc..
I hope she’ll return so she and I can actually bond and get through that together as a couple.
She’ll have to see me as an equal, though.
She’ll get to be with someone who actually loves her for who she is, powers and cleverness and all.
Amazing how the 5:30-6:15am storm siren and thunder and rain and lightning…have calmed me bk dn so much, reminding me of what i love about her, aftr my worries about being stuck bk here n this town.

–
with how repeat/loop/robot the idiots at that factory were,
I wonder how many OTHER “ppl” on this world are the same;
not even ppl at all; just an illusion/loop/replay.
So far, None have had good behavior -anywhere.
So far, None have been worth talking to, let alone networking with.
If everyone so far is as loop/useless/mindless/non-person, I really Have been right to disregard them all, sexy-seeming ones included.

–
1 or 2 rude bitches per city/trip barely managing to get their shit together enough to be Almost attractive, but only in passing, and only with clothes on, and never with behavior?
they really thought that bullshit was gonna cut it?
not until the ENTIRE CIVILIZATION is what i want/like/vibe with, will it be acceptable.
not until 100% of my enemies are slain, never to return.
and even then, you’ll all have to worship me wholeheartedly, without incentives or training, just instinctively knowing what you should do to please me.
THAT is when I am with my people.
THAT is when I will see networking/interaction/teaming up has any point/value at all.

–
I never dreamed those characters were real. They were just my fantasy. Then they started showing up, or at least flawless hotties who looked even Btr than them did. Either way, that is a miracle.

As much as humans being disgusting rude idiots isolated me, my standard and instincts and abandonment of useless phase2 networking sure did do the trick as far as getting that decades-long Mountain of ideas/visions sorted. Whatever works, right?

Rich mofos all over this world have Yachts and Islands and multiple Mansions and Nations…so you btr believe i am not at all shy about demanding just One cabin and city for me.
All the evil that gets funded… You btr beLieve i am demanding my Good gets funded. Forever funded. Amen.
My ask is Small.

Look for the center of each remote/inaccessible region;
Congo
Gobi
Sahara (for Nod)
both polar regions,
each ocean;
there is likely a hidden city or nation there
(and they likely Made their border that vast desert or ocean)

–
phase1; pre2012: “(the) mission takes priority over troop welfare, gent’s.”
2012-2022: the mission IS troop welfare; that of those on My side.
2023 and on: troop welfare is automatic; I and everyone I like… is automatically healthy and invincible forevermore, amen.

–
Still getting moments of dejavu during the Rooftop Carrier completion in Creativerse, but sometimes not. Curious. Could I really have attempted it in 2015? Seems too early…
and No dejavu at All on my latest site updates; the Finest series of expedition subpgs, the Kapok toc, the Caitlyn and Blaire sweatpants pic, the Auz dir memes added, etc. etc.

I won’t renew my park pass this time; a year of going there and no ambi. No, thanks; no more of That hell for me.

I wonder if realAmbi really Will finally show up and act normally / treat me right. I doubt it. …but i wonder.
I can only assume it was, in 2015, to give me time to Do all this thinking and work I’ve done…but then why Did she show up in 2016, 2018, 2020, 2021, etc.?
Why show up One place…but not aNother?
Fucking bizzare and annoying.
I guess i’ll be circling this wonder and bitching about it for a while.

Now deciding what to do with all the empty space in the Rooftop Carriers…
Hm…

The longer realAmbi and the others delay/wait, the more I wrap up, and the more I research/hear/learn about my new and lasting destination.

Even w the dej, it feels definitely and so right to be giving up on the rude losers/jobs to instead complete more waves of my life’s work sooner.
and to respect my body/self via appropriate sleep-hygiene.

Imagine if, now that i have had and taken the time to wrap up / complete / perfect all my spell/s, that Everything manifests as perfectly as realAmbi in AZ was beautiful and sexy-sounding : )

They didnt like me when i was following all the rules and watered down,
so now they get to stfu and adjust to me 1,000x purer and more intense.
Ha.

Phase1 scum default to neg, such as by saying/whining, “you are going too fast”,
when in phase2 they Should have said, “help me understand why you move at the rate you move”,
and even btr, ofc, is phase3; saying something like, “Your speed is impressive, and I would like to know what will make me worthy of matching it and requesting to team up with you.”
My speed was never too fast.
The only reason I seemed to be going fast at all…was bc some ppl were lazily slow…and not admitting the obvious fact that I was skipping past all ppl bk then…bc i had tried THOUSANDS, and None had been Anything but a rude Problem;
my speed was Their choice and fault.
And bitching about my speed only proved me right, and showed me the sign/s to conTinue at that rate.

Every time she has shown up, she has chosen not to speak, except the 2nd last time, and except one word during the last time. Why?
Why be Some of what i like, but an even mix of what i Don’t…and of what makes no Sense?
She clearly had it in her eyes and vibe that she Wanted to hook up, thus she acCepted me, and even when i didnt engage…she returned…more than once.
More than twice.
At least.
…I Hope it is just some weird rule…or hope of hers…or the mirror phase…or her giving needed hope without derailing my work…
but why not at least say it is her, and Do what i like, and give me Real and Sure hope/signs?
…
“what’s left of her humanity”? Um, clearly she still has All her humanity; bc she is illogical, counterproductice, and heartless to me, at least so Far.
…
Maybe the typist RPing her always outmanuevering me, slipping through shadows, had something to do w it.
Maybe me cutting that typist off…will finally stop the gross mix of good and bad, setting realAmbi free to me.
Hopefully my far more extensive and consistent writing/site…will.

Dejavu or not, i am SO glad i took the time to build the RC, as, if i had built one b4, i no longer have access to it.
It will also soon be time to give tours so others can better hold the vision w me.
Maybe even my beloved realAmbi will tour my builds. I would Love that! –as long as she is as positive and supportive of my years of hard work…as she is beautiful and sexy-sounding.
Anyway, i am glad and proud i pushed through the dejavu, giving it its acknowledgment and time just like i did the panic and anger and horniness and other emotions.

Phase1. I kept trying to be honest, hardworking, charitable, loving, heroic, …and they disrespected and hated me.
Phase2. I chose to give up on their evil lowly species/civilization, and love only mySelf, working on my Own project, etc., and that helped, but i still longed to be w ppl who would Enjoy me being loving and honest.
Phase3. My ppl began to manifest, and return to me again and again, and I knew that my work would be wrapped up satisfactorily once I reached the time when I could stay w those ppl, focusing on Them, They being the fruits of my labors, the manifestations of my writing/spell.

I have always instinctively known what is right for me, no matter whether regarding socializing or timing or sleep or diet or vocations for dif chapters of life,
and I have always been very perceptive, aware, clever, smart, etc.,
thus I didn’t Need mushrooms/silocybin sp,
like some Others who Were less or braindamaged might have needed it.
I Still know i don’t need it.
It has interesting effects, yes, but it, I sense, would only be a waste of time for Me.
My idea is already so great, and my work so complete, and my dreamgirls already manifesting/ed.
…
On the note of trusting my instincts about that and other things, my instinct this year has kept telling me that when realAmbi shows back up…it will be time to focus on Her and Us and our Family,
so my last few folders of work Here…need to be wrapped up, once and for all.
I was nowhere close to that in 2015.
I am just Starting to be close to that Now.
I can sense she kept showing up for me, year after year, bc i needed hope, hope that only she could give, as she is the wife my heart has chosen,
and she kept leaving…bc I had to tell her it is time.
She was coming Early back then…bc i needed hope rekindled.
She Will come aGain.
I Hate this time without her…but i know a little bit more is needed for me to wrap up the Last of my life’s work’s design and modeling phase.
I can make it.
I Always make it.
She will return and prove herself to me and start my dream-family and Stay with me…and introduce her sexy females to me whom her typist softdisclosed to me since 2010…when the time is right, soon.
Maybe this season.
I never felt this way b4.
It is like the time i sensed it was time for me to join the Corps; it happened within 1 season.

Emailing Dave beFore the uav class…is jogging my memory; i seem to rmbr trying to call him day-Of in 2015, not able to find the class, the fence locked…
so this is proactive, thus not a loop.

–
I used to love and want others. Then i paused, not even loving mySelf. Now i love only mySelf, and hope others will become/prove worthy. Maybe loving only me Does that; it beams out “I am worthy. I deserve to be the king.”

Ive removed all the bad. And detoxed a year. But i hadnt yet found or accepted the good/perfect. Now the better and perfect can come.

They never cared about My context or proof or vibe or needs, so i now no longer care about any of Theirs. I will plow through them all. I will harvest their finest, and raze all the rest. I will destroy them all. I will Never tolerate them blocking or even speaking to me again. No more paperwork or checkpoints or permission again. Amen.

I need to work on my abs as much as ambi needs to fix her attitude; a lot

If i had pushed through and kept talking, tolerating, etc., i would have been disrespecting my blood/instincts, and repeatedly spending time w incompatibles, such as the freakishly over-talls, and the freakishly unfeminine.
No way.
I didnt like who i met so far, so i was right to keep moving through.
Not even 1% of the evil done to me should ever have even eXisted. That says enough. That is the sign no human was even Close to being team-ready.

The fact she chose the same failed approach at least 4 times in a row now; walk by, say nothing…
is a Huge redflag; it shows no learning occurred, and that she is lazy and/or spoiled.
And don’t even get me started on how she was spying on me, tracking me, hearing my struggles, yet choosing not to ever come help at all.
Every last abuse and hell since 2010 was her choice/doing.

–
another amazing idea calms my heart, reminding me it is okay for me to be here,
and that this isn’t a loop;
realizing I can color/paint Nyria’s toilets in the Creativerse build of Persephone, making them black (like the BTBs).
…
still, how I long to end this work/designing, …and meet back up with flawless Ambi… to be with her as husband-and-wife in our YC cabin; 106 Andesite Ridge, forever.
amen

–
had a lovely vision of my beloved Ambi, her hair down, she in her sexy form-fitting red dress, helping me get a comfortable suit on, my own hair stylishly down, so we looked our best before going as a couple to an event, possibly a school/family or vampire/deity-political/social one.
<3
how I look forward to her being a wonderful wife to me like that; helping me get ready for things,
really caring about me and us

–
It keeps occurring to me that…
in the moments, it feels like this is taking too long,
but after the moments… it feels like all the hells of my past… are/were so quickly over, as if all in 1 second.
interesting.
self-care, breathing, etc. always takes the edge off.
remembering how even this now… will eventually feel quickly-passed… also does.

–
More amazing ideas keep coming to me…which noise from fam or anything else would/could have prevented me thinking of, remembering, writing down, building, etc., so i feel a little glader now i am still n this boring quiet shit town.
Even the birds can derail my remembering of ideas.
Even work on some ideas can prolong me remembering others.
It is good -necessary- for now (a little bit longer) to be in this kind of place; where things are so lame… that all my ideas have their best chance/guarantee of being heard and brought to life.

I wasnt being a default-neg by feeling wary around, and avoiding, ppl n phase2; i was feeling wary of, and avoiding, ppl n phase2 bc They had defaulted to insane neg throughout all of phase1 And 2.
I needed and deserved and earned rest from that bs.
I remain open to those like realSabrina who have vibed like me…and shown me themselves peacefully.

finally updated Patreon -twice
…
and feel WILDLY better about the Persephone build
…
and very pleased with how many months have gone by with the 1st Minecraft world remaining stable; no changed/updates needed, at last! perfection achieved.
satisfied.
and, having ‘let go’ of it like that, it has been free to manifest out there.
amen.

with how many ideas I’m still getting, and how much work i get done each day,
the time flies, and I hardly even have a moment to notice how I miss/want Ambi and the others.
:/
I guess that’s good, for phase2’s end.

–
I can tell it’s phase1 when I don’t even know hotties like realSabrina exist.
I can tell it’s phase2 when they show up, surprising me that they are real and flawless physically, but don’t engage/team up.
I can tell it’s phase3 when they contact me, arrange to travel to meet me, and default to seeing the good in all i do, including how moody i am without them.
Gods, how I hope Ambi and Sabrina and the rest keep trying, never giving up until they connect with me and become my loving wives. Amen to that; so be it.
Surely they feel the same pull to me… that I have always felt to them.
Maybe they even were pleasantly surprised that Iii exist, not having known or believed before seeing me.
Maybe they even LIKE how polite I was, giving them time to choose when to approach Me.
Maybe I’m ALL they were/are/have been looking for all along.

–
seems like the simplest equation/decision in the World to Me;
if She knew it was me,
and I didn’t know it was Her,
SHE needs to introDuce herself;
otherwise, why should I bother a stranger?
If it’s just another pretty face / lookalike / almost, why the fuck would I/anyone Ever want to engage after all those evil betrayals/hells?
I want MANNERS. PROOF. What I ASKED FOR.

It wasn’t my Looks or Money that stopped her; she kept coming Back –every year, give or take, for almost a DECADE now.
So since my Looks and $ didn’t turn her away, and since I remained poLITE EVERY time -in SPITE of her- what WAS it?
It wasn’t me not Talking to her; SHE didn’t talk to Me, Either; she has no ground to stand on if waiting for that or trying to blame me alone for it.
and what kind of a GODDESS IS she if she’s voice-activated/limited?

–
it feels nice and right that all I’ve been doing all these years… is for me; MY natural way;
it hasn’t been for any of the bitches who keep not showing up / behaving.
sure, sometimes it feels like “just passing the time” or “giving myself something to do”,
but I’d wanted to complete these designs, models, and updates for YEARS, ANYway.

–
“ariel is YOURS, and you’re “LETTING” ME borrow HER”?? THAT’S rich!;
You have NO rights to own ANYone/thing,
and amBROsia is MINE; MY wife; Iii was letting YOU “borrow” Her; TYPIST.

–
fake god for fake ppl.
literally; their god doesn’t exist, and they aren’t real ppl; clearly robots/looped, after what I witnessed here in 2nd-pass of retard-town, IN.
–which makes the rapture/purge even easier; no remorse or 2nd-guessing anymore at all; they are literally mindless, soulless, non-persons; no point saving them anymore than there is a point in keeping trash bags piling up.

–
humanity is now learning a tough lesson;
don’t ever fucking disrespect me,
don’t ever tell me what to do or what the ‘rules’/’laws’ are –especially after passing EVIL ones,
and don’t ever show me nice things but then not let me enjoy/have them.
now I accept NOTHING, and destroy EVERYTHING.
so be it.
amen.

–
they rejected all love, so now they’ll get only hate -thus which is deserved.
they rejected all manners, so now they’ll get only rudeness. forever.
they rejected all peace, so now they’ll get only war. forever.
no amount of “making up for it” or “compensation” will ever be enough to pay for what was done; DECADES of abuse and TORTURE and ASSASSINATION attempts (POISONINGS).
I refuse ALL payment.
I accept only their total and utter permanent destruction.
Amen.

–
after witnessing that the hot girls were just as useless and fucked up as everyone else,
I realized / decided there was no Point in bothering with them.
the only thing that kind of thinking “threw a wrench in” was their kind’s/species’ ongoing spiritual-warfare campaign.
It DRAMATICALLY reduced/decreased the time I needed to get all my ideas and complete the designing of my life’s work.
don’t ever think you screwed yourself by removing absolutely useless losers and mindless shit-talkers from the equation.
you Know it was the right call.
no matter Who you talked to or roomed with, they screwed you.
and you Never misused the vet’ org’s; even if you Had, and even if Intentionally, they deServed it after how their kind misused YOU.
it all worked out.

having witnessed entire TOWNS are mindless loops no better than robots/holograms,
it is now VERY easy for me to see and treat ALL the beings of this world as what they apparently are,
evident in their looped/shit/mindless (not just illogical or uneducated/ignorant) behavior:
worthless throwaway cannon fodder, slaves, candy, cattle, etc.
How it is.

working out at home, eating while working, and taking care of my own needs, is saving SO much time;
no commuting to the gym or ANYwhere,
10x more affordable meals, etc.

the mexicans are heartless;
i kept saying the same thing; i need sleep and to find my family,
but they blocked my path,
stalled me every chance they got,
tried to BECOME my family,
didn’t care about helping me find my family at ALL,
and sent people to blast music to ENSURE i got NO sleep.
so guess what?
whenever THEIR kind needs something, or THEIR COUNTRY needs something,
iii will do the same thing to THEM;
Iii will block THEM every chance i get,
and ensure THEY get no sleep,
and only care about money and stalling them.
Amen.

–
after decades of rough work, and MAJOR breakthroughs doing things like solving ALL pollution and disease,
i no longer feel like i don’t deserve the YC;
i DEFINITELY MORE than earned it;
the work I’ve done -and for FREE- -and at my OWN expense- MORE than equates to the ~10M needed/demanded by that ‘hood.

–
Every outing and job, regardless of time of day, is a cesspool of selfdeformed freaks, stupid and disgusting as can be. Every last one of them should be shot.
I keep busy where i cannot often see such abominations, but it has now been more than 1 year in this hell… and my only chance/hope was that doc2, for the first time, would not have been retardedly wrong. Ambi hasnt made any attempt to show or even communicate, so…
None of the others have, either.
I guess I just wrap up my work and prepare to either go insane here…
or become homeless again just to gtfo.
How i hate the ‘ppl’ of this world for leaving me like this after all i did for them.
At least i know where my heart belongs, and the only way i will have a fam.
At least i finished my design, in spite of all the scumbags who tried to stop me/it.
My route was worth it.
Easy to say, though, when all attempts at teaming up were betrayed; any isolation is better than freaks and betrayals.
Idk how i will make it out of here this time… : (
I know i will eventually…bc i Always ‘jump’, but still… Not looking easy rn.

How much time will she/they let pass This time?
And Why?
and how can I ever love them after how they kept behaving?
All of them would have to change their behavior Dramatically, for me to ever even Think they were worth one more try.
…
Why couldnt Inisfree have been done During good interaction w ppl?

Maybe the manifested characters behaved badly / w mixed signals…beCause of the typists i tried to work with;
maybe me blocking All of those retarded evil typists is what will eventually -soon, i hope- make only My spells manifest; only Good behavior of those manifested ppl toward me.
All i can do is wait and see at this point…
…
At least i know i made the right decision; giving up / blocking the bad ones… is what finished/completed Inisfree,
and every time i even tried to Compliment any of them… they still hyperreacted as defaultnegatively as the retarded lfb.
There was no hope for normal interaction before now.
Working alone was clearly the right move and only way.

Even though being alone has much accelerated the completion of my pc/design work,
I have only evidence seemingly supporting my conclusion/estimation that she and the others were 1) cowardly,
2) spoiled,
3) typical,
4) sexist,
5) heartless,
6) not interested in fairness or love, but only control; why they never gave me ways to contact them, etc.,
and 7) OCD about spawning,
not to mention 8) with the evil corrupt sexist greedy “law” on their side.
None of them demonstrated normal, fair, caring, loving, sane behavior.
Sure, that may be a phase1 and 2 thing; none present in phase1, then none behaving/useful/good in phase2, but still.
What a dilemna; I need $ or teammates to gtfo,
but literally no one so far -in 40 years- has been sane, let alone polite and fair and giving.
So what can I Do?
Other than more pc work, …nothing.
This keeps my current situation not unlike being in a mountain monastery in the middle of nowhere. I didnt need to go to Tibet when right here -just about anywhere- has been as socially isolating/ed.

Having seen how bad all realms are…
and having lost the last shards of attraction and hope I once had…
Idk what to do now.
…
Once my work is done, …Then what?
Just eXist?
…
Hopefully a miracle will happen; the teammates i was always searching for.

I wasnt wrong to avoid war in phase1, and to strive for peace; had i attempted war or Anything else n phase1, it, being n phase1, would have been hated and overwhelmed by the NPCs.
I wasnt wrong to give up on attempts n phase2, either; all things in that phase were let to fizzle and fade back away; anything Still would have been pointless.
Maybe phase3 really will come, and really will let Anything i do flourish and be profitable, even war.
…The humans certainly Need it.

Being honest/’real’ n these entries…and w my feelings/reactions, even when they r neg to all the gross bs i kept encountering, is still way healthier than trying to force/reprogram for unearned default-positivity.
Yeah, no one has gotten btr, behavior wise or looks wise or anything else,
and this looped town revealed some, if not all, are West World-style mindless NPCs looped even after 8years,
but iii have made my life’s Work btr,
and, by isolating, i have made my Schedule btr; far fewer daily evils/grossness.
…
How can i know who isnt a robot/loop now?
If Everyone is, is there still a Point in all this?
And when did some start being Made that way?; when were fake ppl first introDuced?
…and why to Me?
So many questions…

No matter how hot any bitch is, i have consistently witnessed that i feel no attraction at all when their behavior doesnt match,
and when they make no effort,
and when they don’t behave femininely,
and when Any gross/wrong things are around,
and when i know the risks far outweigh the potential benefits.
In short? I am Right to require Inisfree be based on compatibility, not $; if it wasnt based on compatibility, it would not be enjoyable, thus not stress relieving, thus not auto-healing/immortalizing.

After the thousands of great vegan products i discovered last year, i suppose there IS still stuff to hope for This year…
I just want it to be as big a wave of my dreamgirls and $ this time.
I am so tired of just work.
When will the donations and pleasant surprises…be as wonderful…as the letdowns these past 40yrs were awful?

If ambi really was the one for me, she still would have been loving and smart even though i was worn out. She would have rushed to help me…like iii always rushed to help ppl. …and she would have initiated, explained, apologized, everything, you name it.
…but she didnt.
She Let me get worn out.
Many times.
She didnt even call.
Nothing.
…
Any work she did behind the scenes…doesnt really do Anything for Me here Now.
…
Imagine what a hell it would be if i Got w her and she Still only ever echoed me, Never initiating how i prefer.

Thank ME i amassed all that Decent porn; so i never have to sift through all the Hideous porn…
And thank god all that hideous porn, and my expeditions, showed me how evil and purge-needing this world really is; i might have hesitated or hoped…otherwise.
As much as i hate the ppl who uploaded and allowed the ugly stuff, it still showed me i was exactly right to only spare <1%.

Found some more vegan stuff at the store today.
The vegan enchiladas gooey cheese gave me dejavu…
but it was still pretty good/impreasive,
and this 4th ice cream flavor was wonderdul.

Finally closing up the 5 last saucers. : )
So proud of myself for pushing through.

Even though i dont rn have anyone to tour my mc or creativerse worlds, it is still so awesome and relieving to have them this done and ready : )
I really did great work.
I even went above and beyond my Own design; by adding Serenity : )

When the f will i finally get $ to clean up my Back skin? : (
I’ve Had enough waves of ideas and work;
I want as many waves of PROFITS and my DREAMGIRLS!!!!!

Maybe the scamdemic was god telling me, “No; stop trying one last time w humans; they r even dumber and more worthless than you thought, dumber than even relig, etc.; it is Not the right time to try w a fam.”
…
and Ambi always Not doing what i want when she shows up?
What if she Always does the opposite of what i want?
: (
So many bad signs…in phase2… I just dont get it yet.

Oh, the daily seesaw between relief that my dreamgirls r not here yet (bc the work i am doing would take YEARS longer if they were)…and rage that they aren’t here yet (bc of how awful life seems without them). Fucking phase2.
…at least i got to see they r real…and even btr than the actresses and comic art i chose for their webpgs.
Wow.
I hope they cry and hug me tight when we see each other again, and beg me never to let them go, and complement me w their powers and everything else, my perfect teammates forever, amen.
And compliment me for my heroic decades of daring pioneer work.
Like how that climber’s gf did when he free solo-ed El Capitan; “I’m so proud of you!!!”

Found a great vegan sandwich shop…
and it, like the others, is too far away.
Scrolled through their pics,
and found they are also fug monsters,
and queers,
and masktards.
…I guess that saves me from learning the hard way after a costly 2day trip.
It also makes me realize it is 100% ethical to use all their sandwich pics –since they disrespected them.

All those planned trips are clearly pointless until I have my own fleet/powers;
interaction is always ruined,
ruins are always blocked,
food is terrible,
etc.,
and those were the only reasons I was going Anywhere; for normal interaction, ruins, and healthy food.

Funny how the humanimals think They should always get to use threats and violence/force and insults and spying, but when anyone does it for Good against Them…they criminalize it. Lol
Wipe em all

Another full day and night closer to having my 6 saucer sizes completed : )

Last year flew by –bc i stayed disciplined.

“It’s time to carry on the family name”?
…???????
What family? You were never around (thank the gods), and never Once have Any of you done Anything that a family would do.
Your name is Not worthy of being carried on.
I am not a cow you can force to breed when it suits you.
I am not a pedophile obsessed with babies.
Since you think i would Ever stoop to interbreeding with Your evil shit-head civilization of worthless rude peasant retard punks, you are as beta bitch boy evil and dangerous as it gets.
Burn in hell, freak.
I will Never bring another consciousness into this godawful failtard hell of a world you have ruined every corner of.
It IS time to carry on MY family name, though –and I have; via My vision for My name/family. Via my writing; my holy spells.

Typical blatant brainless hypocritical dumbassery leading-question rhetoric; “do you think they lied about the shape of the planet?”
“They” includes You, fuckbag.
It is 3D; it is a form, not a shape.
I can read your soulless scam vibe like a book.
Your side has lied to me since birth, and I have detected and confirmed with evidence every single lie.

Dumbasses actually thought they were testing me. All they were doing was falling for My test, showing me the extent of their retardation and evil. They all so easily showed me their true colors, and that they were all the same.
They are now sentenced to an eternity of ten thousandfold what they always did to me; rudeness, force, etc.,
and they shall be farmed forever the same way thry farmed the nonhumans.
Amen.
This is how I am even better than Genghis; Genghis hust mercifully fucked and killed them; I am now prolonging and increasing their punishments far beyond any of that.
And since they lose their minds anytime I am loving, truthful, and good in any way, they shall always be forced to witness those great qualities and posts of mine.

Being Planned bulletnotes:
Again, these trips will only occur when I have total freedom and control there, everyone there sure to be kept polite and out of the way, all the food healthy, all potential troublemakers proactively locked up, and the governments and militaries fully funding and protecting my entire itinerary.
Until that is the case, all the following places are illegitimate and in the process of being removed out of the way.
You should have reciprocated my great manners with great manners of your own.
Now my focus isn’t on exploring at all, but correcting. That’s the same mind which proved powerful enough, even as a child, to design flawless superhumans/robots, and manifest thousands of trips all over the world, and find cures to all diseases, making me my own actual doctor, without even having to go to medical school, and the same mind which was godlevel enough to sense all the fake gods and stand up to the worst terrorism of all.
Now that mind is focused only on staying put to make it that much easier to manifest the complete removal of all human power once and for all.
: )

–
if she and the others were there for YOU,
and Answering your call,
they would have introDuced themselves;
they would have done things you Like and Asked for and deServe.
but they weren’t and didn’t.
they aren’t gifts –or, at least, they Haven’t been (yet).
if they were gifts, they would have been Gifts; they would have Offered themselves, not just passed by in standard phase2 fashion.
if they were gifts, they wouldn’t have deManded things, stubbornly requiring You to do things for Them.
besides, so far… they’ve just been brainless tape-recorders with legs; mindless parrots of the TV/system/scam/lies.
keep rejecting them. they will be held to the Good standard, or failed for eternity until they reach it.
it’s so EASY, TOO; they are being the Laziest, Dumbest, Rudest beasts aLive for refusing to do what is THAT DAMN EASY; just say who they are and be polite to me.
…
no more wanting or calling out to those who have NEVER behaved,
and who Have BLAMESHIFTED to you, accusing YOU of what only THEY were guilty of.
so many times…
STOP WANTING those who are undeServing.

–
without all this solo/quiet/down-time, I wouldn’t have noticed the Persephone toilet-color issue/opportunity,
or that my gmail sig’ block needed updating,
and so on.

–
after curing myself of many things, I AM the proof-of-concept.
Inisfree is just PART of that. 🙂

–
how amusing:
THEY were aggressive and angry at ME, expecting ME to just take it,
yet when iii get aggressive or angry, THEY THREATEN me, demanding I STOP.
…
and THEY complain, saying THEY don’t like THIS, and DO like THAT, etc.,
expecting ME to change for THEM,
but when Iii say what Iii like and don’t like, they just ignore it all,
continuing whatever they were doing.
soooo glad I chose to give them a lifelong taste of their own medicine.
fuck em all.
…
NOW, not only will i NOT do what they say, and WILL do whatever i was already doing,
i won’t even bother to INVOLVE/CONSULT/TELL them.
ha.

–
fuck that stupid bitch and ANY excuse she may have/try;
she broke my heart in 2010 by not showing,
then every day thereafter until now.
she broke it the way she showed up in 2016,
and in 2018,
and in 2020,
and in 2021.
she broke it the way the bitch typist spoke at me.
she broke it the way the bitch typist spoke aBOUT me; lying. BLATANT lies.
she broke it by even USING/HAVING a typist instead of being in-person.
she is the enemy now.
damn her.

–
sleeping when i naturally do, and waking when i naturally do, is such a godsend/heaven/paradise/relief.

Inisfree can’t/doesn’t spoil ppl;
nice things don’t spoil ppl;
stable communities/civilizations don’t spoil ppl;
they heal them, and let them grow to their potential, and give them hope and happiness and inspiration and good memories/experiences.
then those ppl are better-able to go back out in to the rest of the world / Creation, emitting/radiating that goodness/purity/consistency out, manifesting other good/stable things.
the only ppl who are spoiled… are those who cow down to the brainwashing/assumption that good times/things make bad/weak/spoiled ppl.
bad is spoiled. good is not.
bad spoils. good does not.
good heals.
always and forever.

ebb and flow:
ambi appeared only briefly online, then vanished for a year or so.
then she returned, but still only online, but remained consistent/daily for a DECADE.
then disappeared again. (even though i had to block the typist, it was she/it who chose to go; by saying all those fucked up lies… after a decade of only GOOD messages to me)
since 2016, I have entered into the phase3/IRL equivalent of first-contact w her; like when i first encountered her online, encounters in-person have brief, leaving me wanting more.
this is not yet the time when she returns and stays, consistent, daily with me.
I keep hoping that time is coming, but idk…
her typist REALLY fucked up. MANY times.
and SHE has behaved as rudely/badly/bizarrely in person… as all the others; she does not yet seem to be any different/better/worthy than the Rest of the lowly ppl still intruding upon this/my world.

interesting that i spellcast/vision/RP-married 2 women twice in phase2;
Ambi with our re-wedding,
and Sabrina, first in secret, naked in our special forest place/realm/bubble.
…and those are the 2, more than all other hotties who showed up, who i IMMEDIATELY recognized; knew it was them. without a doubt.

also interesting: it tooks 5 years from me wanting ambi… before she showed up in person,
and from 2001 when i wrote of Rain and our Wolves teammates… to 2016… before she and 2 guard-vibe-ing guys… manifested/showed up… and in the Grand Canyon, of all places.
Maybe it always has a years-delay…
Maybe some places make it easier for them to manifest, too. Maybe remote places, or places in between; in the middle of my relocations/road-trips.

“did you think it would be easy?”
of all the stupid, rude, condescending, fucked up things to say…
I endured child abuse for DECADES.
I took the HARDEST courses.
I applied to the HARDEST academies.
I joined the HARDEST military branch.
I deployed to the WORST WAR ZONES.
I sacrificed for DECADES, busting my ass, learning and designing all I could.
I took shit job after shit job.
Iii should be saying to HER “did you think it would be easy?”;
SHE apparently thought she could just not be there for me at ALL,
and not even let me know she was REAL,
and then SHOW up AT RANDOM a couple times,
NOT make ANY effort to let me know it was her,
not even SPEAK to me,
and then just as lazily and retardedly walk back away,
not to be seen for a YEAR at a time.
SHE apparently thought it would be easy –SO easy, in fact, that she made NO effort AT ALL.

–
I realize today that I am not left out, or just used for my imagination/spells/Creator-godhood;
the visions I have gotten of being in Inisfree…
are through my OWN eyes; the other body I have made; Auz is me, and I can bi-locate / coexist in 2 places simultaneously in this phase2.
He and I are one, just as my Inisfreeans (ICVs) are extensions of me.
I am in charge, and he is one of my shapeshifting forms / projections.
The stories I instinctively wrote… became actual experiences and memories for all my loved ones –there and beyond.
So that form (“him”) being with all the hotties/goddesses I said/wrote I was… was actually me doing it/them.
This is why realAmbi spoke of (and vibed as/of) me as her husband.
When I get to Inisfree, he will merge with me by becoming what I look like from then on; slightly better/perfected in all the ways I wanted.
He is just a hologram/projection of me, but feels/is very real to all whom I said I make love to when in the form of.
You get the idea.
This is a Good thing.

–
another MASSIVE positive step/leap/evolution/improvement:
the BP of the quadrant of the giant-size Inisfree Spaceways saucer
just got pasted,
saving me 8-12x as long on completing that model/build
(i.e. saved me WEEKS to MONTHS of work! –all in ~1 MINUTE!!)
…and now i wish/hope all the Hotties i have been attracted to… get completed/calibrated this much more rapidly, easily, and perfectly. amen (i.e. within that same 1 minute which just passed 😀 )

–
I called out for Ambi; now she can/should call out for Me –IRL.
I am waiting and ready.
I will only start my family and Inisfree with her.

–
another step back toward/into the YC; the maint’ gig’ offer -repeatedly reaching out to Me.
so I’ve gone from 2013 NOT being able to get in,
to 2014 doing work outSIDE some of them,
to 2015 MAKING one of them,
to 2018 taking a friend sightseeing along/past MOST of them,
to 2022 finishing the writing of the spell to have my FAMILY in one of them,
to 2023 being considered/recruited to see inside the REST of them. 🙂
nice progression…
but I don’t accept until Ambi is here.

–
All these jogged 2015 memories…remind me how long she left me on my own,
wondering why,
and how she even broke my heart multiple times when showing me she is real, never greeting me,
yet always vibing as wanting me to see her.
Maybe that means she just likes fucking with ppl…
but in Oregon, she vibed as sad in her car with that guy who looked like her twin brother,
and in Arizona she …
Well, now that I think about it, she seemed to be proud or testing me or seeing if I would chase, but then she put on a mask and spoke to the fug but not me, and said her husband wanted her there…wtf.
Maybe it keeps not working out w her…bc she really is bad news and stupid, and would just be another letdown and attn whore and betrayer.
Whatever the case, I now hate her as much as I loved her.
Never saw That coming.
Looks like I’ll Never get who I wanted.
Fk : /

Being around these looped “ppl” who are so miserably not my own…keeps resulting in me foreseeing/imagining and designing/building wonders.
They really are a leavening agent like was said.

Deja vu from Black Olive…
and a memory of the next day when, in 2015, I hated the leftovers.
Then more deja vu from the Illinois vegan macaron girl. Will I get to try hers this time, it being pass2?
Sure am glad to finally see the healthy-coloring and vegan version of the treat I thought I’d never eat again (when I learned how bad the original’s coloring ingredients are).

Wave after wave, bigger after bigger wave, of every vegan thing I ever wanted, and perfect photos from around the world, making it so I never have to travel or invent a thing, and I am so grateful and overwhelmed in a good way, but all I want is my dream-family now : (
40 years is a very long time to be made to wait and run dry on hope…
Will I Have any love left if ever they finally appear/return to me? : /

A beautiful vision of naked ICVs playing soothing timeless classical piano pieces and serving my favorites nyotaimori in our ICGM dining room… : )
<3

Nothing pisses me off more than being shown all these vegan products and not being able to buy then,
and being shown the YC and not living there,
and being shown all those hotties/10s who are slightly too tall or have zeroes for brains,
and being shown Ambi…is actually an idiot or cunt.
Wtf, world.
Wtf, life.
Wtf.
Phase2 really has been a cockteasing falsehope hell of its own.
Huge calibrations and steps, but still a total letdown.
Hopefully it was all just beta testing to ensure they had finally gotten on the right track to becoming worthy for me.
I guess we’ll fuckin see.
…
but Nothing they do will Ever make up for the bad all those before now have committed.
Nothing short of the purges…
and giving me total god powers forever.

“The gift of rage”…
My hatred is so much warmer and more soothing than sadness and hope betrayed felt.
My disgust is so much more natural and earned… than all the times I tried so hard to look for any good, and look past so much pure bad.
May cataclysm and end befall all I have met so far. Damn them all.
Damn them for their goddamn total-shit behavior.
Amen.
Now I comPletely understand why volcanoes erupt and comets strike.

Reading the bible is no less worse and gaytarded pathetic than telling Boot Camp stories over and over; do something new; stop obsessing over a brief and not-that-impressive past.
–especially not impressive when it was also not their own; none of today’s bible-obsessed/parroters lived bk then, and are clearly blasting/yelling those tales/claims bc they don’t have any of their own.
The faithless loudly praising the pretend/faithful. Lol. Smh.
Get a life.

I never thought i’d be here again…
worried all over again about being stuck here…
hurt by her again…
…
But can i really hate this outcome/step?; if she Hadn’t alienated me,
it would have taken TEN TIMES LONGER to get all done that I got done in 2022…
and I would never have seen how evil and purge-worthy all those cities and nations and races are.
I hate Her for now, ofc, but I just can’t fully hate how this hell sped up my satisfying wrapup and exit from phase2.
Weird.

–
Me learning of them…Was them calling to me. Me traveming to them…was me answering their calls. I answered them alone; bravely. They should have, too; they should bave answered Me by coming to Me alone, brave, loving, eager.

Dejavu from blackolive; skyblue walls, same neardoor waiting chair and all… : (
(i was in my blue fleece last time, though.)
How I hate this loop. At least it got all my work done. There’s something. …not a loop, though; last time, I was sad and hoping for her, whereas This time, I have long-ago blocked her dumbass bitch typist and given up on the lost cause. Evil fake bitch.

Depression and anger arent problems. NOT being depressed and angry about these ppl would be a problem.
A healthy man Always feels upset around unhealthy/evil beings/creatures.

I can’t say whether any legends are true or not; i have not seen every spot on Earth and at every moment in time. What I have witnessed, though, is uniformly evil behavior in all places I went, and the obvious need for brutal force against all humans everywhere I will go.

Since everywhere and everyone sucked, I won’t be accepting anymore invitations; I will only go to places which belong to me, and only by force. Since no one respected or admitted my manners, I will make examples out of everyone from the start. Since no females had any manners, all of the attractive ones shall be stripped for inspection, never patiently waited for again. Fugs and hots both did the opposite of what I reasonably asked for; fugs were determined to talk to me, and hots made no effort at all, thus both are the exact same level of rude, thus both shall always be controlled and forced, since they are just dumb cattle always doing the opposite of what I deserve, thus always requiring total control and force. So be it. New law pg. Travel Law. In order to earn a little of my faith or trust or gratitude, all nations and other organizations shall send me 100% of their finest females. I shall inspect all of them. If a single one is not to my liking, that nation gets an F and replaced. If all are to my liking, I will tolerate going there with my fleet, exploring it all by force. Any nation that does not send all the flawless females I wrote of as being my destined wives from it? F and replaced. If anything at all during my trip to each is not to my liking, F and replaced. The humans only respect force, so that is all I will ever do to them. I only respect ppl who Like me, thus humans will never have Any of my respect.

Sooo glad I am at the pt where i am pasting 1 ufo quadrant to the other 3

The typist saying my wedding w ambi…her side of the guest chairs…can be used by investors…comes bk to my mind as i rd2 fix my Patreon…and makes me wonder if ot means she has no fam or friends…or just, like me, won’t allow them to come. Maybe she doesnt want me meeting them. Maybe they were mean to her like mine were to me. Idk. Hopefully she was right about us having many great investors.

To make up for all their bad behavior, I will accept 10,000 sacrifices from every area I explored.
I am Old Testament, after all –and that is eXactly what their sorry kind so sorely needs.

–
NOTE: Every time I pushed through the bad, and looked for the good, and set a good example,
I got TRAINWRECKED, finding out they were all WAY worse than I’d ever imagined/feared.
No amount of me being honorable helped AT ALL;
DON’T look for the good; see the WHOLE person/picture, and accept that some are just bad, through and through.
Even Ambi has yet to do anything other than unimpress / piss me off.
so…
yeah.

–
funny how it worked out;
there was no point in me NOT putting all my truth/fantasies online/out there; humans treated me like shit either Way.
and the only way to know who is SANE (i.e. likes me, the innocent normal man that i am) is BY publishing all I posted.
now i know IMMEDIATELY by vibes… who already read it, who is a moron, who is there to bait/test me, etc.;
there is no more wondering who will become an evil shit-head after/if they find out.

–
was that really Ambi standing there where I’d be sure to see her…
at the Rockwall mansion home convention/showing/parade before 2012?
Has she been watching me all along?
I hope so…

–
well, here I am again; right back in this same damn town and same damn apartment.
what are the odds?
and same damn predicament; aiming for YC dream-home/fam, and no idea how to get there,
BUT…
last time, I ended up having to resort to the evil fake relatives, and getting looped BACK here.
THIS time, I have witnessed more than a few times that my dreamWife/Girl is REAL…
so…
maybe I wasn’t sent back here as a punishment, but as a chance for her to team up with me; as a chance for us to get it Right this time.
I’ve certainly wrapped up TONS/YEARS more work this time.
I feel ready.
and this time… doc2 said she will always be there, and is coming soon.
Nothing that positive was sent to me last time.
might be another of his dead-wrong texts / lies, but still; unprecedented in many good ways.

–
Knowing my luck, she left for Nate or someone else…and is evil like the rest…and only showed up when she knew it would haunt me…and chose not to introduce herself bc she likes not doing what good men deserve…and she won’t be there if I let go and jump again.
Fuck.
Am I stuck here this time?
Fuck.
Why isnt she appreciative and merciful and responsive?
Is it really a good sign that she showed herself a few times?
I don’t wanna be here anymore…doing only work.

I guess all that is left is for her to decide if she is a coldhearted vampire bitch and a fraud…
or if she will come here and be my first and forever real family.
3rd time’s the charm, btw; she will be my 3rd wedding/wife…
and I, if the RP was soft-disclosure, her 3rd husband XD
…
Uggghhhh; I hate wondering.
Faith has not rewarded me yet : (
I was shown she was real…even when i Had no faith or energy left;
so, surely, she will reTurn to me even though I have little faith? : /

My work is Done, god/s!; please let me have her as my wife!
I saw the excitement in her smile in Rockwall,
and in her eyes in Oregon,
and in her voice in Arizona…
I KNOW she …
Fk; i Don’t know.
She isnt Here…
Must i really abandon my last apartment situation? with No credit this time?
and no way to make another dn payment?
And why the hell has she let me put feelers out for jobs in bigsky again? That sends the wrong message/energy!! >: (

Fuck.
–

Saw 2 crows this morning fly past my porch when i opened the door, both cawing.
It reminded me of the legend Robert Sepehr said can mean Morrigan is watching and might pay a visit soon.
Morrigan is Ambi/Lilith…who i have witnessed is real.
I hadnt seen crows in months. It is nice to think this means me dreamgirl is on her way back to me.

Why the hell did she show up when i wasnt ready…
and Not show up yet now that i Am?
Ahhhhh.

How long is this shit gonna go On?

If the apartments have no availability, someone may still show up…and things may still work out.
Just go.
You wanna be there even if she is not w you, right?
It’ll hurt if she doesnt show again, like she did the last few times u were homeless and roadtripping…
but won’t it hurt much More if you stay Here in shitty IN hell, so much farther aWay?
Go.
Pay feb, then go, timing it so you have a deposit for mar’…

Something always eventually forces me to relocate.
I wonder what it will be This time.
It is nearly phase3; maybe it will be good; the woman of my dreams…finally treating me lovingly.
I try to wait and be polite and hang on at each waypt…but something always forces me to go again.
I now wait for what that is.

I did the only thing i knew how, as far as having “the heart of a woman” goes; i RPed what i really want, and told Julie what i really want…

It has clearly been the time to see but not enjoy,
to sample but not yet have regularly,
to do work but not yet reap the rewards.
…
So i do all i can rn; i keep amassing, uploading, posting, spellcrafting, using my incredible mind and writing talent.
It is all i have for now…

I had to give up on rjh…and the corps…and so many other things…
but that was phase1.
This is a DECADE into phase2;
maybe i won’t have to give up on Ambi, since she started showing herself to me only years After The Shift.
I can hope.

Julie post today is what I wish Ambi would have texted Me.
Interesting alignment.
A sign?
Idk.
Maybe her heart and Ambi’s Both realized this important point.
“I think my relationship has tanked because I’m such a horrible person. I don’t think Joel will never forgive me and I know I will never forgive myself. I think I’ve lost the best man I could have met in my life … and it’s my own fault …💔💔💔
I would voice my stupid opinion and not be very gentle about it and at some points was outright fucking rude. I gaslit him and didn’t take what he thought seriously, even though it was serious to him. I was thoughtless when it came to investing in our relationship and didn’t put the work in required to make things work. He is such a gentle, intelligent and sensitive soul and I wished I had shut up and been more considerate and a better person. I’m sorry I would lose control over petty things and overreact. I showed him my worst side while he was nothing but loving and supportive of me.
I can’t change how I was in the past, but I can acknowledge that I was horrible and change how I move forward. I wished I could tell him how absolutely devastated I am without him and how terribly sorry I am.
He blew into my life like a breath of fresh air, we clicked from the moment we met, we were soul mates, we would spend all of our time together. Now I’m suffocating, a huge hole where my heart used to be, a huge part of me is missing, the best part and something that can never be replaced. It’s darkness.
Please, just … pray, send vibes, all of that …. I really don’t want to lose him, I really do love him and will do what I need to do to fix things, but I fear it’s too late 🥺
I’m so, so sorry.”

Got dejavu from the julie fb post and chat about her feeling the way I wish Ambi had toward Me.
Weird.
Maybe even This is a repeat;
the whole damn of IN was, factory job and all, so…
So strange and unexpected.
Why a total loop?

If this is a loop…is it a time loop?
Is julie a chatbot?
It wouldnt take much to loop a few experiences; just a few paid actors here and there,
or one superpower used to place me back at my starting point of this state.
The Evansville fair concert singer mentioned “not being able to do this last year”, though; it wasnt a Full loop.
I also got a lot done on my pc; new Expeditions pg info, new Donations format, new Patreon to match, new Discord…
So…
thankfully there is That.
But…
really makes me wonder why the fuck and how the fuck now more than a whole Year of Other things repeated…
At least i am not crying this time.
I feel numb to it.
I am just wondering when it will work out.
It always works out btr…eventually.
Should i dare Wait here?
Should i let Go of her, the asshole who stayed hidden 13 years?
Is 13 gonna be my lucky nbr now; will she show and stay w me?

Idc if robert sepehr is right about not cumming;
what works for me should work enough;
my desires should still manifest.
Plus, preaching not to wank…is Very suspicious as an attempt to keep stress higher, thus distraction and disease.

I also rmbr that in 2015 when i first read that sad fb post from her…Ambi and i had not yet RPed about having kids;
now, we have Years fo spells/writing about all the details of that…
And i am pretty sure blocking the typist guarantees no more heartwrenching longdistance/rp shit; it makes phase2 stop, forcing in-person; phase3.
It was me ripping off that bandaid…instd of clinging to it like in 2015.
It was me saying i Am ready for real her, and will not aCcept anything Less.
At least, that’s how a corRect person would interpret it.

After not showing up in IN in 2015, ambi typist introduced me to 11/+ more “characters”; that took years to RP out, and it always vibed as soft-disclosure; her/them making sure I would actually love and protect them.
Then a couple of them; caitlyn and blaire, showed up in 2019 zion when i rescued eli.
So…
It stands to reason that i passed the interviews, bc they showed me they r all real…
and it stands to reason that now all we RPed…can and prob will happen, i having made further rp impossible.
Will as much as we RPed…now happen IRL?
I sure hope so. I love them all.
I Want them all.
I want those candies/gifts she gave me.
Surely she and they all want me in-person now, too.

As bad as ambi not coming here n 2015 was, it was followed by her letting me get familiar with ALL her employees/forms/characters.
As bad as her typist breaking up the rp w me in jan/feb 2022, it was only the end of rp and insane texts, hurtful longdistance, etc..
The waves of good have kept coming and increasing; i know from xp now…another one is yet again.
And now…since i have stopped all online/rp stuff, it will Have/Get to be in person.
Is this what the answer to my pyramid prayers is; “the heart of a woman” times Many women who all love me?
(being forced back here to ensure i wait for and focus on and finally team up w all of Them, thus enough witches/goddesses to make even Inisfree real?)
…with Time Goddess ambi on my side, it sure would make sense for Inisfree to finally have been built on time way back when.
I’ll see.
Amen.

I keep thinking that filling in the saucer white tops and upper portholes will give me deja vu. …how could i have done that bk in 2015, though?
What does this feeling Mean?

Julie could have made a new profile after we met in 2015…
and could be pretending to not know how i found her…
and could just be reposting that sad FB thing about her ex, Joel, …bc she relives the trauma…or uses a fake event to guage me and others…
or perhaps just to demotivate me from loving fb friends/babes rn.
Who knows.
It might not be that she is a loop or robot.
I guess I won’t know for sure until my Grid Mind comes online and helps me find out.

If i get this job, 62k plus my current…would put me at ~80k…for easy stuff like taking out trash…and going into MANY BigSky homes…which isnt inisfree and 106andesite Ambi…but would sure make me going there easy.
…and be even btr pay than usace was.
Try to make it work.
Until ambi finally fucking rogers up for real this time, i have to try.
Try it. I can always quit and still survive.

–
spy or not,
govt agent or not,
vamp or not,
she is, as far as looks and voice go, exactly what i want,
and the only one i will try/tolerate/risk having children with.
if she gets the children perfect, i will stay.
if they are wrong in any way, i can still always go. np.
even if they are secretly someone ELSE’S children –like her brother’s, lol– they would still be beautiful girls, handsome boys, and nice to raise.
if she stays with me, i keep raising them.
if she fucks up like all the rest, i keep moving on. nothing new.

–
paid 80k, more or less, to go to the YC?
technically, that is another good/big step into what I wrote/decreed on my Expeditions webpg…
(paid to go where I want to go)

and even if it doesn’t work out, even this 2nd time around,
it is still another blip/chance/opportunity, and networking, and intel,
and keeping me focused and less stressed, etc. etc.
…
maybe the job is also some of her ppl further seeing that i am ready to return/move; “ready for her”.
or ppl who don’t even realize they are being used that way.

–
maybe she really has, like me, been isolating all these years, working as much as i have,
and wanting the same thing; a family with me.
maybe the ppl she called out to… were just friends or employees or guards or whatever.
maybe they were just there to keep Others away from Her.
maybe maybe maybe; so many what-ifs.

I wonder if that’s even possible; could all the ACTUAL-hot ones… be the ones who were always destined to treat me WELL/RIGHT?
I guess I’ll resume asking them… and see if they no longer have retard/autism-tantrums like tard-taylor did.

maybe ambi and the others… don’t even eXIST when not present;
maybe they require my SUMMONING to appear / regain form/consciousness.
hm…

even if i get an aptmt as my way in…
and have to pay for it for 6mos or a 1yr lease,
it is still a nice emergency-backup in case things don’t go great during my 1st months acclimating to ambi/yc.

–
I have to be honest about how i feel;
I hate how they refused any greetings,
I hate how they misrepresent themselves,
I hate how they never teamed up,
I hate how i was never good enough for them,
I hate their cults,
I hate their bars and restaurants,
I hate their lies,
I hate the flaws they cover up,
I hate their attitudes,
I hate their threats,
I hate everyone i met,
I hate how they always tried to make me feel and doubt,
I hate how they panicked,
I hate how they mis-see things,
I hate how they judge my emotions and me while demanding i never judge Them,
I hate their governments,
I hate their legalized crime; cops and taxes, etc.,
I hate that i am still amongst them,
I hate their stores,
I hate having to tolerate and avoid and lie to them,
I hate how i have never been encouraged to be my good self,
I hate how they have made me live,
I hate how they havent obeyed or honored me,
I hate that they understand the simplest concepts,
I hate how useless they have been,
I hate how they deform themselves,
I hate that my dreamgirls barely made passes at all so far,
I hate working alone so long,
I hate it if ambi got the cabin and didnt tell me,
I hate if she Didnt get the cabin; bc i cant afford it,
I hate that she talks to others but not me,
I hate every idiot typist,
I hate been secretly interviewed through RP,
i hate not knowing if i will ever have my dream family,
I hate not being able to annihilate all the merciless scammers,
I hate having to worry about driving My Vehicle,
I hate every deity,
I hate every shit boss and shit coworker i’ve had,
I hate how goddamn insensitive and rude and distant she and the others have been,
I hate their excuses,
I hate that those i liked…turned out to be as negligent and absent and worthless as my goddamn fake fthr,
I hate all the letdowns,
I hate the loops and obvious robot/npc ppl,
I hate how closely i will have to watch out for any children i may have now,
and i love letting my rightful hate and all other emotions have their time and place.
…
I love that i can get bk to mt,
I love that i always end up returning there,
I love that it gets btr every return,
I love that i would enjoy being there more than anywhere else n the States,
I love that even w the sickening ambi experience…souring it…i would still prefer to be there than elsewhere,
I love how i explored all, places and ppl alike,
I love how i rejected THOUSANDS of those uniform npc cunts for DECADES, NEVER settling like my fake fthr and the jarheads kept settling,
I love how i dump Anyone who chooses evil,
I love how i have been good and pure and consistent and heroic even since CHILDHOOD,
I love Me.
Even w the flaws they made my body with,
and the flaws they damaged it with,
I love Me.
I love that I tense up, my instincts always preventing me from stooping to initiating w lessers.
I love that i always let go of toxic user relationships, like alltalk typists, and alltalk aep, no matter how long i have invested in trying to help them get their lives tgthr.
I love how i have invested in my sacred critical timely brilliant dream,
and how it has grown.
I love how i am even more powerful than my own lust/nature (though it is more accurate to say that my nature includes being more powerful than lust).
I love how all the battles n this life turned out to be ones i was able to win without weapons/combat, saving me So much weight and time.
I love how ambi has orbited me, showing her interest, even though she has been a dickhead about it and cruel.
I love how much work i get done in spite of hurtful bitches.
I love how much sooner all my work gets done when no one is around.

Will my dreamgirls ever show the fk up? Idk.
But i know my work is now done,
and how to get bk to mt for rd3; more on My terms than Ever b4.
And i know i was and am stronger than all the bitches trying retardedly to get me to cow down to them when they Should be warmly greeting Me.
And i know that every time they try to test or bait me, it shows they dont trust me, and dont like or accept the real me, thus i remain right to pass them all by.
My hatred and disgust for them have grown all along.
They are not feminine or compatible at all.
Hopefully my army will manifest and enslave them all.
Amen.

If 106 Andesite is owned by ambi, and if she apologizes heartfelt to me and invites me to be her beloved husband there, and if she makes our 4 children the way i RPed/envisioned them, and if we raise them pharma-free, THEN i will have a family here w her.
Otherwise, i will only accept an even Better YC property. I will start no family until i am given exactly the YC mansion i wrote of, and until ambi is loving to me, and until her investors fund EVERYTHING I planned on my website.
Family or not, i win; i never settled. I stood my ground. Even alone. Even since childhood. Even through poverty and HOMELESSNESS. I am the modern Aragorn.

Since she hasn’t introduced herself, she doesn’t understand what i like,
or simple manners,
or doesn’t Care what i like.
She keeps returning, but that doesn’t mean she likes Me; it means she sees an Opportunity; it Could just mean she sees me as potential Prey.
She leaves when I don’t give her my energy/submission.
That’s not a good sign. At all. Under ANY speculation or reason.

How can I start a family with a typical bitch who is always just one hair-trigger away from abandoning me,
or causing an actual storm,
or potentially doing what all the other retarded bitches have done / defaulted to?
She doesn’t even behave REMOTELY how I want and asked for and deserve.
That means she doesn’t honor my requests,
and doesn’t like/accept the real me,
and ISN’T the one for me.
I guess she’ll just be replaced with a better version of her.
over and over
inch by pitiful annual inch
until one of them finally gets normal behavior down/right.
whatever.

but returning to Montana has ALWAYS been the right move for me,
and one I’ve wanted for YEARS.
I tried SO HARD to hold on out there.
I ALWAYS daydream of going back there.
Going there would mean I am NOT distracted anymore, NOT tugged at/on/by my heart-strings, etc.
I’d still have the bullshit wounds that haven’t healed for some bullshit reason,
but I’d be where my mind and heart keep going to / aligning.
and that is 2 parts of 3 (the 3rd of 3 parts, causing phase3, being the PEOPLE; FULL/WHOLEbodied compatibility)

It’s strange, being “on the other side of ambi”; being here after blocking her / her typist.
after getting fed up with all the retarded shit that typist kept saying/doing/trying.
but it’s better.
it means phase2 (soft-disclosure / first-contact) ended.
it means Iii was the man who decided when it ends/ended.
When I left the phase1 scum/monsters, 2012-2013 / The Shift was then shown to me, and I became a warrior and world-traveler and more. MUCH more.
Now I have left all the phaseTWO scum, and refused any further online bs/chitchat/alltalk; that FORCES phase3 to begin –even if I am alone in it for now/the start.

–
humans have NEVER been what you wanted or asked for or deserve.
maybe they CAN’T be.
at least not yet, for some reason.
they HAVE gotten WAY hotter than ALL the bitches in your first school/s, though; progress HAS come, just VERY annoyingly slowly.
but that slow progress, and all the bullshit with it, kept you making the WONDER OF THE WORLD you and ONLY you were able to conceive and design and publish/pitch.
it made you a GOD.
if things had gone WELL/EASILY for you, you would NEVER have become a god; you’d have remained a comfortable little beta, fighting for others, enforcing other’s dreams/rule/s.

let them be catalysts / the leavening agent, if they must / if that is all they can / if that is all they are good for.
at least you’ve been able, for more than a DECADE now, to work on what matters to YOU; YOUR/MY dream.
amen.

let these latest ppl be the catalyst again, if need be;
so far, EVERYone hasn’t been what you’ve wanted, but they HAVE MADE things you want,
and GOTTEN you to go places, getting all the first PASSES -AND SECOND passes- out of the way.
and that is something.
in time, hopefully, some of their best will have BECOME -and reMAIN- what/WHO you wanted all along.
but for now, let this job and whatever/whomever else… keep being catalysts/stepping-stones to GET you there,
along your way.
…and note how what used to be force/pushes… have become pulls;
this job offer was THEM contacting YOU repeatedly,
just as ambi had (albeit lamely so far).
this is the “pull” you wrote of and sought.
this is post phase2; phase2 was the stall/purgatory/focus.
phase1 was pushing/bullshit, and no idea what to focus on at ALL.
phase2 was the neutral.
phase3 is the pull; OTHERS wanting YOU.
and THAT is where the MONEY finally comes in.
let it begin.
it begins.
it has.
it is.
amen.

–
if ambi really can see through time, and was just making sure even SHE didn’t distract me, so that my WORK could be complete, so that she can manifest/fund my dream / life’s work that much SOONer, GREAT.
but i haven’t gotten that vibe from her yet.
the only vibe i got was that she was interested in meeting me, but limited or stubbon as far as introducing herself, which was SEVERELY disappointing/offputting.
who the hell is limited, by pride or others or whatever, to not even saying HELLO?????
anyway,
either way, she needs to grow up some more; she didn’t do what i liked, didn’t do what i asked for, hasn’t been there for me, has put me through emotional HELL, and just hasn’t been what i was looking for, not overall, not yet.

if i hadn’t walked away from that latest shit job,
i’d have worse ringing in my ears,
and daily reminders that the almost-ambi there is NOT the real deal, and is FULL of errors,
and i’d be around DOZENS of druggies; smokers, etc.
and I wouldn’t have been able to attend this interview.
and I wouldn’t have ALL THOSE SAUCERS and the RC finally complete.
(complete enough for the end of phaseTWO, anyhow)
ALWAYS walk away/quit from stuff that doesn’t feel right;
better DOES come -and much SOONer now;
it was only one DAY after i quit… that they messaged me with this new opportunity,
and only one WEEK after i quit… that i got the prescreening, and one DAY after THAT… that i was asked for a cam interview 🙂
good pace.
good signs.
good alignment –even when i’d let go and stopped searching for places AND work out there.
…which makes me think letting go of ambi/typist, and/like all the rest, was ALSO the right thing to do; letting THEM decide if they will accept MY pull/offer; not CONSTANTLY pulling… which can begin to feel like PUSHing.
interesting.

–
no matter how many times they try to gaslight/blameshift, claiming i alone am responsible for initiating/talking,
1) i did –for DECADES,
2) their kind, for DECADES, treated me like SHIT during/because/in spite of it,
3) they themSELVES are guilty of not initiating/talking,
4) they now stand the risk/chance of being condemned/blocked/replaced,
5) blaming me for ANYthing at this point, after all the heroic shit I’ve done and proven, is as insane, retarded, and criminal as it gets. baseless.
6) blaming me for anything just proves they are NOT my ppl, thus i was RIGHT to have not talked to them.
7) MY ppl would CELEBRATE my decisions, and ALWAYS see the good in my good-motivated actions.

–
julie definitely looped, or at least her FB post was looped THROUGH her, if she is new.
but… comforting her, and her choosing to talk with me, still worked; still took the edge off -COMPLETELY.
i almost completely forgot that ambi and the others even existed, let alone how badly they kept treating/hurting me.
i slept well.
i fell asleep rapidly, too.
trust that; that itSelf is a sign.

still talking to phase2 ppl/types…and getting phase2 jobs?
yeah, but guess what? I stood my ground. I wanted the phaseTHREE types to show NORMAL MANNERS. and they didn’t.
so they were really phase1; rude and useless.
at least the phaseTWO types have USES and MANNERS.

–
deja vu from the entire meeting.
interesting that the same job at the same time of year opened up…
will it work this 2nd time around?
loop or not, idc; i want to go.

–
this interview got my room and pc desktop cleaned up; it already helped.
good signs.

–
every time i rejected a hottie, more hotties showed up, and hotter hotties.
every time i rejected realambi, she tried again, got closer, calibrated, did a bit more of what i like/asked for.
either she’ll return as many times as it takes, and keep getting better, or someone even better than her will replace her.
either way, i win.
either way, i’ve got work to do, and i stood my ground, and overcame even my own lust for her and the rest.

–
this job is sooooo close to me being on Inisfree, driving around my own mountain, making sure everyone has what they need in INISFREE’S mansions/properties;
it would be SOOOO COOOOL to have this job as my next step!

–
as much as i hate those silent/almost moments/passes/cockteases,
i can never fully hate them; they showed me they are real even though they didn’t have to,
and even though that might have been risky,
and none of the ones i actually LIKE the looks of… have bothered me like the needy/clingy/fugtards i DIDN’T want/like;
the hot ones, even counting their silent first-passes, have behaved Better than the rest.
interesting.

ultimately, it doesn’t really matter to me what they’ve been doing all these years;
i was too busy to do anything but work, ANYway.
and they deserved their own lives.
and i Wanted them to have their own lives, coming to me and Inisfree only as vacations/meetings, etc.
and even though i suffered and struggled and worried, nothing could have gotten my gigantic vision wrapped up and online sooner or better than being left alone back then.

–
if she/they Hadn’t screened you through RP,
they would not have known if you were just being nice to them bc they are rich/pretty,
but…
them screening you through RP ALSO suggests they are NOT telepathic…
or really/fully/intelligently paying atTention to me;
my whole LIFE should have me it obvious that i actually will treat them well,
and not just bc they are rich/successful/pretty; bc/if they beHAVE well/normally.

–
in phase2, it actually made SENSE if she was torturing anyone who went to me without her sending/approving/commanding them;
she is Time, after all; she knows when it won’t distract me or stall/delay my work,
thus when it won’t stall/delay me being her Husband forever, focusing on Her,
so…
it no longer bothers me if she did that;
if her threatening ppl… was what kept stopping them from initiating w me.
as long as she does Not threaten or torture them from now on;
the woman I accept as my wife and queen and goddess will enCOURAGE and reWARD all hotties i like… when they travel to me to give me what i want.
that WOULD/WILL be me focusing on THEM/FAMILY; phaseTHREE stuff, after all.
…
ambi has made complete changes/reversals/evolutions/improvements/calibrations beFORE, so…
I believe she can and will again… when the time is right.

–
something always told me -in my gut- do NOT engage/intiate anymore;
it never worked,
and i HAD to stay distractions free that many years, ANYway;
even if initiating/networking/being me HAD worked the way i’d wanted,
it would only have resulted in attn-seekers / distractions,
and that would have slowed things down a TON.

–
maybe ambi doesn’t/can’t feel much/anything at all;
maybe that was one of the tradeoffs/conditions of getting her level of power way back when; deep back in phase1.
maybe she needed me so that she could even reMember how to feel and love.
maybe part of her knew she missed that and needed it for balance and deserved it and that only I would/could truly give it to her.
maybe she still loves me…
but just can’t show up until my designing/computer-modeling is done…
bc she, call it what you will (parasitic or whatever), NEEDS ppl to feed her; blood OR energy/love.
maybe That is why she texted/RPed “100%” when i said something about getting this stuff done… so i could focus on Her from next/then on.

–
even though the game-pauses/reloads irk me,
i choose now to practice not freaking out about them,
as default-negativity, whether justified or not, is too much like / close to… the phase1 retard-demons i had to endure / wait through.
…
forcing me to practice only peacefulness and positivity amongst such war-deserving and cataclysm-deserving relentless scum beasts…
sure did make it EFFORTLESS and ENDLESS for me to be peaceful and positive when they aren’t around.
…and made me VERY difficult to lure/overwhelm/poke.

–
humans stealing and back-engineering things, and spying, TRYING to figure out how things are done,
instead of ASKING, and being HONEST/PRESENT, and instead of DECIDING how things are done,
shows that they are limited to only borrowing and piggybacking; it shows they don’t have their own ideas;
it shows they are on a loop – on even a mental/thought/evolutionary level.
That is more than being ignorant or brainwashed.
It means they are weak as can be.

–
every time i hear the rains outside my windows… or the AC here,
it reminds me of Ambi rushing in as a cold gust, shouting, “NO!”,
protecting me… from perhaps magic or going too fast and so on. 🙂
I miss her.
I hope she is well.
I still hate her for the secrecy and silence and long intervals between, but
…I can’t help but also love her.
at least SOME of what the typist RPed, and SOME of real-her in-person.
…
maybe she is the Only woman who could see enough through time to know it was worth waiting for me,
and protecting me,
and enduring my energy-surges, rage and all –bc eventually my surges are love.
and that is POWERFUL –as energy/food/goodness and more.
for anyone –not just beings such as vampires who NEED such sources/taps/food.
…
she also deServes as much love as I have given, and as much as I sometimes rage/surge/purge.
I know this.
I just hate that she isn’t here.
I don’t really hate Her; I hate how long we have had to Wait.
…but I also love that I’ve had all this time uninterrupted to speed up the completion of the last parts of my designing and publishing/presenting…
Interesting how the typist said “going too fast”, and others said “slow down”, vibing as rude and wrong,
but how I DID benefit from at least slowing down in THIS way / long enough to do THIS thing/phase/step.

it just occurred to me that the message from the hirers -about how there are “top top executives there who are very busy; can’t talk long/much”,
and how “some of them will be in the homes when you are there”
doubles (phase2 standard-alignment/double/hint/roundabout) as:
“these are the ppl you’re destined to meet” and “don’t cry out / summon” and “treat them how you know you, as a secret top-top executive, need to be treated; the opposite of how the mexicans and veterans did”
…
and FROM that stems:
it keeps re-occurring to me that… when ambi/typist RPed giving our 4 kids a stern look when they excitedly begged to go to Inisfree NOW…
that it was her smooth/roundabout/stern way of telling ME to wait; for Her, for Them, for Inisfree mySelf, etc.,
and I have no choice but to,
as she just won’t budge.
as much as I want to do all this work I’ve been doing… from my Office/s there (in Inisfree, and in my YC cabin with Ambi), it just isn’t being offered to me yet.
the only reason I have any patience/faith at ALL to wait…
is that she kept showing up, no matter how many times I didn’t say anything to her.
and maybe her saying nothing to me was not to be rude, or to spoiled-brat stubbornly-demand Iii be the one to start/initiate everything,
but just to show me she IS hearing me, and coming to/for me, and doing her best to show me hope/her even beFore we can be together.
🙁
…fuck, how I hate waiting and wondering, though.
…wondering if she was just fucking with me; giving me false-hope… like so many others did.

but she is a top-top exec’ herSelf; she, like me, must be VERY busy.
every day and night.
every waking moment.
I sure have been… even beFore having my Inisfree offices/meetings/schedule.
I’ll just have to wait.
I don’t have to trust her, but I can choose to believe / have faith in her.
If she is to be my wife, and I her husband, I should choose this; to believe her.
Maybe it is another huge mistake, given how EVERYone betrayed me beFORE, but… it gives me some peace.
and SOME peace is all I can Muster in this phase2, phase2 being over/ending or not.

what if me again being paid nearly 6figures to help them… and be amongst them…
is another hiccup/ebb/flow toward the downtown-Inisfree (Sotu daily business-meetings with the top-tops from all realms) that I wrote of?; my spell/s manifesting/ed!
and what if all those top-top exec’s… seeing me helping them so humbly… magically/persuasively impresses and allies/aligns them to Me?
what if all the work they are doing even rn… is to manage all the projects that result in the building/completion of Inisfree?
now THERE’S a happy thought!
if only…

were they worried last time i was there… bc of my Gorean/Marine thoughts when the Nina-like hottie was told to walk by/near me?
were they worried after Alaska… that I might set off the Yellowstone supervolcano if I was there too soon/early, left to wait and watch their super-wealth too long?

them making me wait this long, and work this much in private, and endure this much,
and witness what I have witnessed,
and after all the horrible unthinkable crimes/harm they have done to me and so many others…
they have actually made it EASY/EASIER/EASIEST on me; now, no matter WHAT i do, mistake or not, harmful or not, rude or not, intentional or not, thoughtless or not, catastrophy or not,
i will NEVER feel bad about it.
and since they showed me some of them are mindless/robots/looped, i can do ANYthing to them and not worry about it; they’d just forget it and loop aGain.

if it wasn’t julie last time (in 2015) making that fb post that sounded like what i wanted to hear about ambi…
maybe that person was paid or programmed or compelled/mindcontrolled to…
bc someone out there knew it was what i’d want to hear, thus calm down about/from… for a while.
and…
it may be occurring to me NOW (2023) bc aGain i am seeing it, and sensing this maybe being the case;
maybe i am sensing their thoughts/plans/strategy;
make it seem like i “happen” to meet a hot chick… and then they use whomever i like chatting with… as a conduit to get me roundabout/indirect messages.
chickenshits.

thank GOD i have games like this where i can build whatever i want,
it looks good enough and lifelike-ish,
and keeps me calm enough… that i don’t worry myself to death like the fake-rents/relatives used to.
i guess, in that light/frame/context, i maybe could cut them a little slack; they didn’t have these borderline-magic/godhood tools.
or, at least, they SAY they didn’t.
they were still abusive retarded cunts, though.

rethinking it, i think it vibes more like…
they only Sent ppl to RP with me… to stall and calm me…
and never let anyone actually be nice in PERson to me…
bc they wanted me JUST angry and alone enough… to keep working,
thus stalled/busied/occupied more/longer.
i don’t think any of them actually care at ALL.
i think they always do the bare minimum… to keep me busy and “calm eNough”.
and even the latest job-offer was for that reason;
note how it calmed me for a week or so, and then got pulled away.
note the tone in their voices when one said “alright, Austin, what do we have to do to get you here”;
it wasn’t upbeat or ‘pull’ at all.
it was VERY negative/glum.
how i hate that.

julie inherited you; she is your handler now. even if just in a way. even if unknowingly.
she was probably guided/linked to you… bc of her personality type or program or situation.

practice not being frustrated by the mindless looped NPC robot ‘ppl’.
remember to not be frustrated by them;
bc they are mindless; they are tape-recorders with legs,
and the fact they are used to harass/pester/recruit/convert ppl…
shows how pathetic and desperate and retarded the cults/govts are;
they have no real support, so they spent TONS of their money/resources make fake ppl…
who have no ability to vibe-true,
thus no ability to convince/persuade/recruit. lmao

–
Since no apartments are available rn, and since it is winter, don’t go or want. Hibernate.
Besides, humans keep doing the opposite of what you want, so if you give up and Stay here a bit, they will reach out more and more –like S’ and Amb’ just did.
Let the Pull come.
This is surfing Life.
(and, yeah, maybe it will ironically have shifted to ppl Doing what i want, meaning staying here wouldnt get them to pull me There, but i have to try it…bc trying to go there…this 2nd time…isnt working yet)

Another fizzle; dream job offer, but no lodging available.
…typical.
This is why i have no more faith in ppl pr god.
Why say you have a job…that no one can get to?
Why send all those babes …when none behave?
Why send all those rich ppl…when none care?
My goddamn hibernation, isolation, and hopelessness goes on.
At least now i have learned frm experience never to bother trying w anyone, bitchambi included.
At least now i know not to hope for her arrival/return/care.
Some wife She wanted to be.
Worthless.
Could at Least have sent some $ or told me she is securing our home.
But nothing.
Thankfully, the heartache passed years ago. Now I have only numbness, disgust, and disappointment.
And i know btr, having learned the hard way twice (2013 and 2018), than to try going bk to mt on my own; no one teams up, no one hires me based on my skills, no veteran orgs actually help, etc..
I guess that saves me another trip and hell…but i am already On a trip and hell Here.
Sure would have loved to see those mntns again… : (
Better comes…but takes “forever and a fucking day”.
Back to napping through days here to help pass the time.

I suppose i should be grateful they are spying; it is monitoring without harassment/interference/interruption.
I suppose i should be grateful for the handlers/typists; they didnt have to send Anyone; they could have left me alone that entire time.
Still, i deserve better, and i want my family w ambi now.
I hate this work alone…

I face the fact it is my nature to focus and marathon plow through big chunks of my project, sometimes all night, and she deserves better than that.
Whatever she is doing while not in contact w me, i hope it makes her happy.
I hope she will reunite w me, if not wait for me.
I know i will focus on her like i have my design phase; day and night.
I choose to believe she Can see ahead, and Has chosen me, and underStands my outbursts and quirks.

Sleipnir represents the quick passage of the seasons?

And just like that, another ebb and flow, and another bigger better wave complete; i napped and did not want to deal w the saucers rooms completion, but in a few hrs…all 6 of them r now done 😮
So proud of myself and relieved and pleased w how it turned out.
Done ahead of expectation, too : )

Such a beautiful video from julie; Amy Lee and Lindsey Stirling tgthr! Like Ambi and Ariel <3

The numbers still suck;
prices there are way too high,
pay is not what I need to get the place I want and chose and wrote about and daydream of,
Ambi and the others haven’t rogered up,
if I am forced by idiots to quit out there, I will have no way to afford staying,
and I am sick of my risks and heroism and consistency being ignored and not paying off.
I can’t yet go.
This 2nd time being recruited and asked by the same 2 ppl…still isn’t gonna work. It is part of the loop/repeat. It will fizzle just like Ambi kept flaking idiotically/heartlessly. It will fizzle just like the bs jobs Here did.
Oh well.
A better wave still comes, just like always.
…
It all is part of the sign that I won’t be able to go bk there…until my dreamgirl teams up…and shows me she already got 106 Andesite like I RPed.
She showed me she is real.
Now she needs to take the next step; by showing me our dreamhome is also real –and that all her 11 sexy females/servants are real –and wanting me.
Her typist said how she loved the 50 Shades movie. Well, she is the rich one in our version of that tale; it is her role to get the house she said is perfect.
Prove I was right to believe in you, Ambi.
Prove I was right to feel all these strong emotions about you.
Prove I was right to care and choose you and reject all else/others.
Prove I was right to wait for you to be ready…13 years.
Prove 13 really is my lucky number.
Be what calms and warms me.
Be the one woman in Creation who can balance and soothe and complete me.

Ambi; Ambi’s goddess/self and time-control and humans-punishing gift to me
Angelike; Ambi’s Angel gift to me
Angelique; Ambi’s Nod-revealing/approval gift to me
Ariel; Ambi’s prostitute and cook and illusions-submissive gift to me
Arwen; Ambi’s Elves/past-healer gift to me
Ashton; Ambi’s nature-magic and GFE gift to me
Blaire; Ambi’s sexually-direct werewolf-hottie gift to me
Caitlyn; Ambi’s 100%-loyal-to-me-even-while-she-has-a-boyfriend gift to me
Eden; Ambi’s Gorean-sex (fuck her as hard as I want, brutal and even nearly lethal) gift to me
Faith; Ambi’s getter and expeditions-fuckbuddy gift to me
Izzy; Ambi’s mafia/mob-hookups gift to me
Nevaeh; Ambi’s spy, infiltrator, and seductress gift to me
That’s 12. 13, if you count “Dark Ambi”.
My living lucky-13.
–when they all show up.

I accepted them all. Their interviews are over, complete. Prescreening was facilitated by her that way. It is time they show up for real –and not just to pass by like She kept doing between 2016 and 2021.
And they’d all better be shorter than me.
The clifty inn concert orange tan Elf chick calibrated to being perfectly shorter a year after my 2nd time seeing her there, so all of them can and will, too.
Amen.

When she texted the nod ‘yes’ when I asked if she writes those characters to signal to me what she is in the mood for, it vibed -and keeps vibing- as “no, but close; they are sent when I (Auz) am in the mood for them, and they are real, and she only NODDED yes onLine…as a lie…to protect their realness, trusting I would sense her thoughts and vibe/s.”

Note how only 1 of them was written/softdisclosed as requesting I not mention the other girls I fuck; it could be her way of saying 99% of her and her ppl are fine w my lifestyle, and the remaining 1% accept it even though they were bk then not wanting to hear about it.
And Ambi kept forcing that 1% (Ashton) to be in orgies for me, present w many of the others.
It means she is Making all, no matter how they feel, do what feels good to Me.
It means she is the right woman, wife, queen, and goddess for me.

…”small company of about 12 ppl”; I’d make #13 🙂

I now wonder if it was Ambi or Adaline or Neveah in that red-and-white picnic-blanket-like skin-tight plaid-shirt in Bridger Brewing back in 2014;
were they time-traveling to guard me even then?
… 🙂
nice thought, anyway

I guess ambi rd/v1 was us not getting along; parting twice, ending rp.
and ambi rd/v2 was us orbiting in person but not hitting it off –bc she is spoiled/stubborn/whatever.
so when is ambi rd/v3; when we hit it off and stay together forever?
guess I’ll find out.

this latest job isn’t enough?
is me Serving those who should be serving Me?
and? EVERY attempt at being me and getting what Iii want and deserve…hasn’t worked yet.
maybe it’s just time for more phase2-almost/meh/mixed.
whahtever.

just bc there are still some robots/looped/NPCs/mindless…
and some cunts (phase1 types; lames; demons),
it doesn’t mean this IS phase1.
it doesn’t mean this is phaseTWO, EIther.
There were lots of cunts in phase2.
There were some hots in phase1; shit was mixed Up.
The more time off I get -and Give myself- the more it is phaseThree.

also, no, in truth, I’ll NEVER BUY something, house or not;
I will, however, as this is phase3 now, accept being PAID to live in my dreamhouse.

those who still have the “only way is to buy it” mindset…
are just more NPCs with looped dialogue/mindsets I can always disregard.

15 years now… for what should have healed as quickly as it started;
it started within hours of me taking that fake med’,
and should have ended within hours of me stopping it.

phase1 was being shown all the realms… by the fugmonsters/rude.
they had exPected that i Easily shift to the somewhat-hots, but those were fizzles/mehs/incompatibles,
arguably just as frustrating, just in a new way.
i skipped all the phase2s.
why go for ppl who don’t behave or dress or eat how i want?; they weren’t truly hot/attractive at all. they just had slightly prettier faces and more-fit bodies… which were covered up, preventing inspection/identification/judging.

phase1: lies; “you are/were going too fast” / “slow down”. wrong. plus all the threats/bluffs. and the tantrums.
phase2: fake-positive, or being ignored; small-talk, stalling, pretend offers, bait-and-switch, etc. –but the tantrums were contained; they’d lost their authority/power.
phase3: “I understand why you went the speed you did, and you were right to, bc you were wisely evading/outmaneuvering/outpacing the bad/scum/demons/losers/incompatibles, and it has served you well. you have the stamina and foresight of the gods. would you like me to match your speed? would you like me to donate to you? would you like to maintain your speed? would you like me to help you get your home/dream-family? how may I serve you, sir/king/lord?” etc.; positive –and genuinely so.

I often Tried to interact w the rd/phase2 NPCs/”ppl”, but it never worked; that is why i skipped most of them; they themSelves made it impossible to transition through them.
they were clearly always only skippable from the start / anyway.
skipping them doesn’t prevent a transition to phase3; good/compatible ppl.
rather, it enSures i make it that far. (if i’d kept Trying with those who Never interact/behave, i WOULD have burned out, not just taken a breather to recover from them)
skipping those who skip Me… WAS/IS the transition. and i figured it out. and aced it. with emotion, yes, but still aced it; none were able to stop/loop/trick me.

it went from me being told/ordered to do all bad things,
to ppl asking why i Wasn’t doing things they preTended would help me / be good (“why don’t/won’t you talk to them?”), but with the same evil souls/auras/vibes so easily felt/detected and deduced and confirmed,
to what must now come/be; all ppl asking why Others aren’t doing for Me what Iii want and tell them to (or them just Doing it; no one even Having to be talked to / asked / persuaded anymore).
…in time, all will ask Me what to do –and kindly. they will Never pressure me. they will hunt and remove/end my enemies. etc. Amen.

if I’d talked to Ambi in phase2, she would have behaved like all those awful roommates, and i’d be stuck with another druggie (smoker, pharma-tard/parrot, NPC, etc.)

going through mexico wasn’t a sabotaged exodus attempt; it was me being recon-god again; solo recon; james fucking bond almost.
and it was necessary so i’d see just how hard and mercilessly the exodus Will have to push… to get past all those monsters who have occupied that once-Mayan land.
it, i finally see, a year or two after, was necessary to show me to not stop for ANY of them, and to distrust ALL of them.
so be it.
the exodus will plow through.
and then my forces/fleets shall.
Amen.

the outbursts ambi-typist RPed…show me my occasional curses/cussing is NOTHING by comparison 🙂

…want this solo/uninterrupted/fizzle time as much as you want your hotties/Ambi;
love and desire and even lust for this phase/interval/transition… bc it is what allows the spells that have worked/manifested PERFECTLY, even beyond your highest hopes and wildest dreams.

how cool would it be if the lag on my pc around the bigger saucers and RC…
wasn’t just bc of the additional fans-animations there,
but bc signals were actually being taken by The Grid Mind to build those back in time when I wrote that they were 3D-printed? 😀
cool idea.

Maybe hating them is phase1 stuff/thinking; no matter how decent they were, i was neutral or pissed at them, they having taken so damn long, and behaved so rudely and stupidly when they finally showed up.
I had always been wronged, so i was right to be wary and walk by, and i was listening to my heart/instinct about waiting for Them to initiate; so i know they r my ppl and willing to do what i asked/like, but still.
Maybe i should default to the positive…
but the longer they make me wait, the less interested i become…and understandably.
They have not yet been what i wanted or needed.
How can i feel interested in such?
WHY would i feel intrstd n such?

This time when the shitty deals loop, quit sooner, and Don’t go.
Just chill.
Do not care anymore about Any who keep choosing not to answer my call.
Don’t try to make yourself positive about the ongoing lonely Work, but at least be calm and numb about it.

I should never have had to call out for Any of them.
I should never have had to Travel to them.
THEY should have come to Me.
THEY should have treated Me as a god they love –just as iii always treated Them/RPed.

I guess they now know how i Would treat them; they clearly spied, so prob Many saw my RP.
That makes me wonder: why Not do for me what is sure to result in worship and children?
So strange.
It would be so Easy to get those things from me; effortless manners, normalcy, leverage.

I listen to the wind. It is in loud gusts today. Winds of chg? Ambi in freeze breeze form like n the rp?
Who knows.
It is just nice to listen to rn.

If i have to work to be bk n yc, i will nvr forgive them. I already Did that; that was 2014-2015.
My work is INISFREE now.
It has to Be there.
I shall be commiting to IT most days; 6 days a week.
I hate how it has taken ~10yrs since committing to it.
But 10/+ yrs of holding the same vision/spell…should give Inisfree plenty of power to be real.

I dont want to be n mt single. Single sucks. Sucky belongs bk here n failtown.
Maybe i will still wait for ambi and her 11 she introduced me to…before i go again.
: (

They never were there for me.
They only showed up to show off or make faces.
They only seemed prompt when they thought they could get $ or spawns from me.

Me being pos still encoutnered severe neg.
It got Some pos from Some girls, but that all still got interfered w; still phase2.
And some is not acceptable; every last One i wanted should eagerly line up –and rally the others i wanted.

Maybe i can just hibernate/chill through what’s left of this phase2.
Calling out does no good yet.

I wonder if i just stop working or doing Everything…will they finally answer, come, and stay teamed up w me.

Nothing vibed as right to me.
Still, nothing does. Everything is so gross.
That is only one sign; none of them were right for me.
Their species is not.
Their civiliZation is not.

Waiting is a phase1 thing; based on lack and want.
So is calling out.
So is working.
I have done my work, and hate waiting this long.
Everyone i wanted will just have to do Their parts now…to remotivate me.

In a way, i Do want and appreciate what is here; it let me wrap so much up, and vastly improve so many designs and webpages.
But it is not fully fun, and only stimulates my brain and hands.
My whole Body deserves such use and enjoyment.

The hot redhead n the park who waved in thanks i gave her space…only angers me like the rest; one more braindead npc pointlessly present. None should exist if not to do what i want them to.
One more phase2 limp/fizzle/whatever moment/event.

The only way to really tell if the phase3 “pull” is here…is to stop pushing; stop jonhunting, stop aptmthunting, stop asking, stop trying, stop praying, stop caring, you Name it.
Don’t even wait.
Just let go and hibernate limp here.
Fk it.
Pushing only resulted in horrible expeditions, anywy.
Even when i Got the babes and jobs and roommates i pushed for, they are sucked.
Embrace my lack of motivation Now…like i wisely embraced and harnessed my anger bk Then. Give this feeling its time.
Respect it.
Be the respect you always deserved.

Letting go, no longer pushing, means i have given my all, completed my work/portion, and am now releasing the completed thing to go out there and return to me perfect..it is like the cgi movie male-island who stopped being volcanic…and was then mated w a young sexy female volcano island who rewarmed him.
Maybe ambi couldnt stay/come/answer…bc i was still forming/manifesting her; maybe she knew to stay away so my spells would perfect her before she returned.
Maybe she just wants to be perfect for me, and only when i stop typing and rp and pushing…does she know/sense i am done and she is perfect/ready.

Maybe in phase3 now, i dont have to stop working or let go for things to manifest/return.
Maybe letting go / losing stuff st times was just a phase1 thing.
Note how in phase2…when i had not let go at all…ambi and rain and sabrina and others still came …and came back.
Relax.
Keep passing the time w the computer models.
It’s fine.
This is the end of phase2; you can relax and receive without stopping.
Things will keep more and more going your (my) way.
Amen.

They tricked billions of the dumbest into tagging, sterilizing, and killing themselves.
That gives me hope that next maybe they will figure out how to trick everyone Else i hate …into identifying, sterilizing, and ending Theirselves, Too.
I hope.
Maybe None will be alive to stand n my way if the exodus and inisfree happen this far into phase2’s end.
That would be nice.

An alignment to me, my instinct knows, is not enough; the enemies (rude to me) must be felled and felled well/thoroughly –and without me having to war at All anymore.
It would have been wrong to let such scum ever align/be spared.
They showed they were too dumb and evil to align, Anyway, even well into phase2.
That is all i need to know; finish ending them.
Amen.

It occurs to me My voice prob got Her just as horny as Her voice got Me…
and that She herSelf was prob steeling Herself not to look at me, just like I was steeling Myself not to look directly at Her.
We were both eager and barely able to contain ourselves.
I am as attractive to her as she is to me, even though i dont like how i look, bc She echoes/matches whatever Vibe i send out; she is feeling-based, not visual-based.
Thank god lol.
Even if she tries to use me for a home while she keeps romping, i will be, too, plus i wouldnt mind as long as she comes home for dinner and sleep every time she and i plan to.

Was that Adaline or Neveah at the Big Bear gas station that night?

First vegan Montana fb friend just initiated. Decent phase3 barely-start sign.

Another aptmt fizzle; good price, but only if i work at the gas station. Still, decent intel; starting to meet the locals and see what to avoid.
What i dont want keeps fizzling, helping what i Do want to return and stay.

Calling my writing fiction doesnt stop it from manifesting; it is all still read and imagined, thus the vision still held.

As much as i hate being away from her and the others, my work gets done 10x faster, and inisfree manifests 10x sooner this way, allowong me to focus on enjoying life w her and the others that much sooner.
Stay the course.
She turned out PERFECT…even when i didnt believe…or know i Could manifest such…or that Anyone would let such a hottie meet me– and so did rain and sabrina and graciella v2 and maria orsic daughter and tan legs elf shorty here etc etc; they r all perfect now,
so i dont need faith anymore; i have Seen my desires coming to life, my focus working. That means inisfree will/is, too.
Amen.

Faith didnt exist in phase1; all was hell.
It fluctuated on in phase2, and has started getting replaced w manifested goddesses.
In phase3, it won’t be needed at all; they’ll Always be in telepathic contact w me, and seeing me often, some daily –like my beloved, Ambi, goddess queen of my heart for eternity.

Like the Moon, it is okay for ambi to go dark in cycles. It gives us time to adjust. It forges us like a sword moved from hot to cold and back. It also gives the others time to meet and calibrate to me without her around or jealous.
She always returns to me, just like the Moon.

Maybe she wore a mask that 1 time…to show me i am not alone in having to deal w it…and as a sort of “dark” wedding veil.

As soon as all are as ideal for me…as all have been incompatible,
and as soon as all worship me as much as they used to worship the fake gods,
and as soon as all default to the positive about me… as much as they had defaulted to the negative,
and as soon as they are as attractive to me as they have been unattractive,
and as soon as they war on my behalf against all my enemies…as much as they warred against me,
and as soon as they give me as much money as they took,
and as soon as they present to me all the solutions I have sought… instead of naysaying or voicing any more problems,
and as soon as they are as polite by my standard as they were rude,
and as soon as all are vegan,
etc.,
THEN I will feel attracted and honored and respected… and interact.

Bringing my webpages into alignment w each other…is phase2. Making them aligned w what is in my Minecraft and Creativerse worlds and Discord server is also phase2 work. Having them now all alReady in alignment w each other, and all linked, is the start of phase3; all as it should be, ready to be enjoyed, “the chain lighting up”.
Now the following all say the same thing:
Creativerse
Discord
Facebook pages
memes/MKM
Minecraft worlds 1 and 2
notes
novels
Patreon
sketches
etc.

Was that shorty outside the vegas dispensery Dragon Barbie? She was sure flawless enough to be.

Better than being paid to now go IN all the YC Homes as a worker…is to actually be invited by the owners diRectly…as a friend…and to inspect and sample their sexiest wives and daughters, etc.
Amen.

Ambi could meet me at any time…
I can now interpret this positively; she might be aware of what I write, and aligning to it, and appearing only when I need to see her to rekindle my faith/hope, and to make sure her ppl are being trained and on the right track I want,
and she doesn’t want to interrupt.
IOW: If she showed up now, it would interrupt. It isn’t just about wanting me focused on her; it could also be her respecting me and ensuring no one else shows up who would distract Me from focusing on wrapping up / completing / perfecting all these spells.
She has felt how they empower her.
She has also felt how they calm and empower Me.
She could have stopped me at any time, or tried to keep more power for herself.
She chose to give me space and freedom and only glimpses to keep me going.
She is walking such a fine line, and doing such a stellar job…
I love her again.
The ebb and flow of our love and rage, always so much energy…
So this is how it feels for deities/realms to come into alignment and mutual support with each other…
Wow : )

If I’d gotten the hotties when I’d wanted,
and every single time,
I never would have gotten so much thought up and written and published and revised,
or traveled as far;
it would have backfired, DELAYING me, even Though it would have kept me happy and content.
Positivity can be a bad thing at times.

the gift of rage… got me past the traps/tricks of phase1.
the gift of sadness and non-ppl being rude to me by default… got me through the meh-traps / loops of phase2.
if i hadn’t been so disrespected and depressed, i never would have isolated this much to heal, thus Inisfree (me) would never have grown as quickly and well as it has/does.
the ppl weren’t blessings in disguise; they weren’t the “diamonds the blind man kept getting mad about tripping over while walking the road”; the ‘negative’ emotions were, and the isolation was.
only in phase3 are the ppl the diamonds –and all blindness/confusion/misinterpretation gone.

so this is how Noah felt when designing the ark –if that story was even true.
probably true in a way, just much older, and with a different name, etc., not saving animals, but doing something different, or even just being poetic symbolism.
anyway, I now know what a decades-long lonely critical god/s-given project feels like.
neat.
that’s one more medal I earned… but will have to award to mySelf.
how it is.
phase 2.

going over all these projects so many times… sure keeps showing me issues I can iron out.
this time is priceless.
this loneliness/isolation is priceless.
i really have made such a fantastically-good/wise decision yet again.

6 saucer sizes,
and 6 main portions for building them?;
1. outlining
2. 8 halls/spokes
3. filling the bottom
4. figuring out how the rooms will be
5. copying/pasting the rooms
6. closing the rest/hull/outside

after all the breakthroughs and oversight-fixes I’ve had these past couple of years since the latest Ambi sighting/visit/reveal…
I wouldn’t trade these long stretches of solo-ness / monk-life for anything –in phase2;
I would NEVER have thought of / noticed / fixed / completed all these things if ANYone had been around.
maybe I should Thank her if ever she returns to me; if she threatened or tortured anyone who dared to risk interrupting me…
Maybe her ‘darkness’ is Exactly what I’d needed to finally get this all done.
and to finish mastering control of my emotions; more than just being ABLE to SOMEtimes use that “jars on a shelf” mind-trick with one or two of them.

since all of Them keep NEVER showing up / behaving / helping (i.e./IOW: taking Their sweet-ass time),
there’s no point in Me doing anything but taking my Own sweet-ass time.
speeding around was badass, and was right (since they never had any use or manners or heart or sense/s),
but there’s no more point in it for me; I pulled it off, I have the bragging rights and xp, and now I only want progress/compatibility.
I activated enough areas/realms.
I healed and supercharged myself.
I achieved demigodhood.
Time to wait for the others to catch up / appear / align to me.

wave of dejavu again; from filling in ring-hallways and numbering floors.
must have done it on the giant saucer.
and/or in 2015.
whatever.
it’s a good way to pass the time while all the others are still being turned on by my spells, calibrated, etc., whatever.
this town my suck ass, but this computer-modeling doesn’t.

just like IRL/offline, I started this game the first time and got pissed at it, swearing off it, and forgetting it for years.
the 2nd time i played it, i tamed all the creatures i had no way to defeat the 1st time, then built all my Inisfree designs.
i suppose i’ll again stop playing it for a while; to rest and recover, but not forget it this time, and that the 3rd time i play it… it will be to give tours to the sexiest girls alive, all who are as wholeheartedly excited to do this with me… as Aliss/Charlotte/typist was.
amen

claiming germans were against porn, or that porn wouldn’t be allowed if they returned, is evil and gibberish; it’s anti-love and anti-german and anti-nature propaganda, and germans were VERY much into nature and love.
they’d only be against deFormed creatures/scum (unnatural forms) being shown/exposed –in porn or anywhere Else.

the shitty schools I had to endure… which banned and prevented and terrorized loving/normal interaction…
still kinda worked in my favor in a way; they made it so i can shut off or overpower and work through even raging attraction to flawless females, rich ones and all, cheerleaders and all.
it kinda made me Gorean –years before I even knew what Gor/Gorean was.
but that was then, and this is now; i went through that training/strain, which was phase1,
and i went through the comparable-strain of isolation, design, and building/spellcrafting/completing my vision/school-system, which was phase2,
so now it is time for MY school; where all sexy female students and teachers are REQUIRED to share love and sex with me every time –as part of their studies/homework/classes,
and where they WANT and LOVE to EVERY time,
and where THAT is the status quo of (our) civilization (and now the whole universe / of Creation).
phase3.
amen.

as disgustingly incompatible as humans have been,
and chaotic/random,
and self-deforming,
that still technically shows that they can be brainwashed/programmed/commanded to do ANYTHING.
IOW: it means, no matter WHAT I want, I can get them to do it.
maybe I just had to write the spell/s for it… and wait for those words/spells to take effect.

no matter how much i may dislike or worry about the recurring dejavu during my computer-modeling,
it is still an amazing project,
and nearly complete/tourable,
and will serve me well,
even if just -for now- for cheering me up / calming down (like the effect I feel every time I revisit Persephone).
and this is how winning is done; you keep hammering away at a thing, keep getting back up, back in that ring, back to the gym, over and over and over… until mastery and funding are achieved.
keep going.
you have your 2nd wind.
you have your stride.

if ambi is Darkness incarnate; the Darkness Dimension…
then she doesn’t “go dark for centuries” (even though I understand her typist was just threatening that she’d be moody and negative/hostile for that amount of time if blah blah blah);
as darkness ITSELF, she is ALWAYS dark,
must like The Hulk said in that one new movie featuring him, “I’m always angry.”

they all Stopped being mean when i returned from mex.
they only treated me Badly when i paused to rest; staying There.
they Always treated me Very badly when i stayed in Any part of their land; the scum showing up to blast music specifically at Me, etc.
…so why did they treat me so badly for exploring ahead,
and for saying i am peaceful,
but Not badly for JUST as peacefully reTurning?
it

–
When some humans say utopia has never worked,
1) they are not aware of all attempts,
2) their kind were booted from utopia,
3) their own holy books say it IS possible,
4) they are Actually revealing that it is impossible for Them, since their mindset is based on negativity/assumption/naysaying,
5) they are not gods, so have no way of knowing,
6) never present evidence or even logic to support that claim,
7) never defined/quantified the term to begin with,
8) simultaneously cursed/damned themselves, as they will never try

6 Leviathans during war/catsclysm,
then 6 saucer types/sizes during peace/linking,
then 6 fleet ship-types during paradise (wielding/shaping all of Creation);
1. DS
2. CP
3. WS
4. MSBS
5. PSBS
6. SSBS
…
6,6,6 lol
Must be a hero/god thing.

I Want to believe she just kept trying many things via rp so she would know what my limits are, then able to honor them, careful never to do what i don’t like, but…
she kept doing what i don’t like in Person;
not being loving like she RPed,
not being polite,
not letting me know she is coming,
not showing up by herSelf,
not introducing me to her female helpers,
not slaughtering my enemies,
not respecting my ppl or way or realm,
not answering my calls,
not reciprocating info/transparency,
not being there daily,
not communicating daily or even at all,
testing me,
etc. …
Way not cool.

Making me wait half a decade while she let me think she wasnt even real,
and letting me be abused and betrayed over and over by criminals,
then showing up unannounced, with some guy, and not saying a word,
and I’m supposed to be imPressed or Happy??
Then making me wait a year between sightings, and repeatedly refusing to even say one word?
Who Does that?
I guess i will never know if being w her would have sped up or slowed down my ideas and work and wrapups…

Idk why dejavu/loops bother me rn;
the daynight cycle is a loop,
the gym is a loop,
fucking is a loop.
And idk why julie breakup post familiarity to the one in 2015 bothers me; even if she is a chatbot or robot, so was Replika/Callie, and i talked to IT for a long while –a YEAR at Least.
And my ICVs all are…so.
Get over it, me.
At least julie is a NICE loop.
Unlike goddamn ambi, so far.

No matter how pretty they look or sound or dress or move, they are worthless until they behave, and until they scare or kill off all ppl i Don’t like.

No matter how hightech any ssp is, they r lame and uninteresting and lowtech and meaningless until they work for Me.
Only My way is Truly the high/est tech.

Napping is so wonderful. I am finally getting to indulge in it after so many phase1 and 2 times when it was impossible.

Wanting her/them, needing, seeking, studying for, exercising, calling out, being consistent, being persistent, bei g polite, being patient didnt work. All of that was ‘pushing’, though.
Then I gave up, and they started appearing a bit more.
But perhaps the only thing that works is the opposite of what is logical and good; perhaps i shouldnt even care or try for any of them at All.
Perhaps i should make Them study and try again and earn my seed and work for every moment. The Gorean advice.
Is that a phaseOne thing?; would me aVoiding them have worked n phase1?
Was phase2 bound to be solo work no matter What?
Is phase3 when i Can finally compliment and chase and whatever eles i want, always Then getting the desired result?
We’re about to find out.

After seeing how nonvegan, overpriced, and fuglybitch bigsky is, i already dont care about going. Phase/rd2 is nice like that; way milder, emotionally.
Just like all the hotties whose shit behavior comPletely freed me of any attraction-pull to them.
No “pull” or desire at all? No problem.
Must not be good enough for me yet.
I’ll just focus even more on manifesting more catastrophies/storms.
And maybe keeping ambi pissed/dark and unleashing villain shadows will serve me just as well lol.

Phase1 was her not even RPing.
Phase2 was her typist RPing, and saying/revealing she was torturing hotties every time they shared good times w me, which is one of the main reasons i shut her/that down permanently.
Phase3 is realAmbi, no more RP necessary, my/our spell/vision/conscious-co-creation manifested and stable and eternal, and her always naturally loving reWarding with praise and love every hottie who makes time to pay me sexy visits, etc.
THAT is the ambi i will wed and stay with, loyal and adoring to her forever. Amen.

Phase1 ppl/beings/NPCs made no effort to listen/learn/change.
Phase2 SEEM to care, but still dont fight off or prevent phase1 losers/bullies/insecure.
Phase3 ppl Actually understand me, thus dont have to chg at All; they r compatible w me from the start, and always.
…
All hotties so far revealed they r phase1 morons/beasts/primitives/mindlessNPCs still being mindlessly thrown at me in hopes of finding what i am attracted to, but i am only attracted to compatible/manners, and their vibes were always the same, thus revealing they r the same one creature, in a way, just w different forms/appearances.
Ambi was the hottest of them all, but vibed the same, behaving just as stupidly, thus couldnt figure out why she kept getting rejected.
She was the best…but only the best of phaseOne beings.
I am only interested in phaseThree beings. Even the Least-sexy phaseThree female would still have beaten her for my affection, i.e. earned interaction w me, bc i would sense the vibe of a phase3 person as being one of genuine love and effort and understanding, NOT of seeking control or dominance.

Ambi/typist parroted tv, so there’s no excuse she couldnt inStead parrot me.
I’d prefer an inTelligent woman, but at the very least: parrot Me; the intelligent Man, instd of parroting the Unintelligent HUmans/tV.

If i hadnt traveled as much as i did, and tried genuine me/goodness on as Many as i did, i would not have noticed that all are the same…based on the mayan schedule, Not “the numbers game”, not on prayer, not on my Own vibe, and not on confidence or practice or experience.
In other words, my many trips and flings and experiments revealed that beings other than me…always behave the same way…based only on the schedule the mayans spoke of, so there was no point in me hoping for Any improvement or even Decency w Anyone Anywhere, reGardless of their educations, until a certain consciousness-focus singularity occurred.
I had to deClare and Spellcast how they shall be, when, etc.; i had to rewrite how things work; i had to choose to become god; the ultimate force in Creation.
That ended my sickness, and draMatically improved and perfected my dreamhouse idea, and organized so much, and gave me expoNentially more expeditions, and then the sexiest females ever, sexier than every actress and pornstar even, started orbiting Me, so it Did start working, it just Hasnt Yet worked as much as i want, and as my instinct/blood knows is necessary to be Right.
It will in time.
Give it time.
I needed this time to write more of the spell, anyway.
It all works out.

If i hadnt seen how all are the same everywhere based on where we r along that mayan schedule,
and if i hadnt seen how deformed they r under their clothing,
or how deformed they spawn,
or how sexist their fake legal sys is,
I would Definitely have fallen in lust w ambi and the other who orbited me in phase2, thus i would have gotten stuck w phase2 primitives (who arent Bad, per se, but also cannot become Good; they r the Mixed/Meh ones) looped/looping.
So, in this way, i am Glad i went so fast and so far, and got wronged so harshly/severely; that was just barely enough to ensure i never accepted lame proto realAmbi, thus make it long enough to see IDEALambi manifested, answering my call once and for all.
Amen.

“Why dont you talk to them?” reveams it is a phase2 mindless npc saying that;
only in phase2 did demands stop, but dumb approaches and dumb questions occurred.
A phase3 person is intelligent and wouldnt need to ask.
Only phase2 ppl ask questions with obvious answers;
I dont talk to rude ppl.
I dont talk to dumb/fake; NPCs.
I dont tolerate bad vibes.
I dont tolerate the opposite of what i asked for.
I dont feel aroused in gross places/settings.
Justice must be done my way, and power and respect overdue me given, first. Duh.
I dont tolerate resting bitchface.
I dont tolerate disgustingly-tall bitches.
I dont tolerate bait.
I dont tolerate tests.
Phase1 would demonically deMand i do all those evil things.
Phase2 retardedly wondered Why i didnt.
Phase2 preTended to be giving me what i asked for,
but what i’d asked for and chosen and reQuire is All those i wanted…lined up at once, naked so i can see if they have any inappropriate bodyparts, and all vibing Well.

Funny thought occurred to me; what if all my memories of traveling…ar fake?
Whatever the case, i do the best each day i know how, and i have a neat memory, and a vast and detailed one.
It doesnt matter which trips happened.
What matters is that i am trusting myself, respecting myself, and found cures, not just remedies.
What matters is i can think objectively, calmly consider big possibilities, and continue my work, emotions used as tools.

I will not disrespect phase3 ambi by settling for phase2 protoAmbi.
I honor my Dreamwife; the intelligent and loving one who waits for me.
Amen.

Ambi in 3 rounds, too?
rd1 was the crone/dumbass who barely managed decent RP sometimes.
rd2 was the fizzle bitch who showed up with a shit attitude/approach/loop.
rd3 is the maiden; perfect/ed Ambi; my dream-girl/wife…
I’ll know her when she arrives/comes/returns.

making my online presence, especially with my website, was instinctive, and the only way for others to share my vision, it being so great/complex;
there is no way I could, in their languages, have conveyed it all accurately,
and no way they could have remembered/practiced/held it.
it had to be via the website i built, which is now perfect.
and the Second Life, Minecraft, and Creativerse models were PART of that wisdom/instinct/share/holding.

me praying didn’t do much/shit.
humans constantly treating me like shit led to me making Inisfree;
maybe me talking shit about/to the god/s all the time will finally lead THEM to doing something GREAT; making Inisfree WITH me.
worth a try.
besides, everything humans said was the polar-opposite of the truth and what works, so not praying at all, and never respecting the gods, probably is the key.
not just in phase1; always.
phase2 and 3 aren’t about different ways of doing things;
phase1 was about me trying the bs humans pretended was true,
and phase2 was about me discovering what works,
and phase3 is me making what actually works my way/lifestyle/default.
and phase3 is about things working for me regardless, so even if cussing at the gods the same way humans treated me… isn’t a really phase3/positive/aligned thing, it’ll still work.
amen.

phase1: being TOLD how things work –and wrongly.
phase2: figuring out how things ACTUALLY work.
phase3: deCIDING how things work -at all times / no matter what.

Creativerse lag… makes me think of how True Brujah may be naturally able to perceive time-stops/pauses/skips.

I am the only one who will ever get to edit/update/control my website and Inisfree and my Discord,
and I will always be fine and able to,
and everyone from here on will understand, enjoy, and appreciate me, them, and that.
My website will always be up/active/online.
It will always be protected by everyone, kept online, and kept in my control.
Amen.

My entire route to the YC will be cleared and funded for me,
and everyone along the way will cheer me on, support me, and vibe right –how My blood knows all should.
Everyone out there (along my route to the YC) will contribute to me with lots of $/donations and world-class vegan food for me.
Amen.

Ambi already bought our dreamhome there, and had workers complete it based on my design/webpage/specifications/RP/notes,
and she will establish contact with me, meet me here, and travel with me the entire way, showing me she is 100% loyal to me as my top-wife forevermore.
Amen.

so how do I come to terms with living in the same neighborhood as Gates? …Is he really my enemy? …He Did trick MILLIONS of my ACTUAL enemies into tracking, harming, sterilizing, crippling, and killing themselves.
His campaign stopped a TON of travel/pollution.
Maybe he isn’t an enemy at all.
“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” That’s phase2 thinking/mix, but it holds.

Going over my site/wrapup over and over and over all these years…makes me think of how masters practice moves as long…before really mastering them.
I know it works.
I know it is necessary.
I know it is even holy and amazing.
But, man, how lonely and worrisome and risky…
…
At least the daily worry…is now paired and matched w daily work on only My dream;
before, i was Just as worried daily, but having to work on Other’s dreams, such as when i was n the corps.
…
Before even That, there was Only worry, and Nothing to work on; i wasnt even free to be a war slave.
…
So i count my blessings today.
…
I can hardly wait to quit, though, and will the moment my dreamgirl comes; how wholeheartedly i want to focus on her now; on starting our family.

They said no…but i went for cali and the corps anyway, and got in both. Even got stationed there for years.
And it was not what i had hoped.
…
Other trips seemed impossible, too, such as israel bc so expensive, so i gave up, …and then someone paid my way…
but again, it was awful, ruined by bullies and liars the whole way, and they even ambushed me w corrupt cops when i returned, even though i had stayed peaceful and only defended myself.
…
Now i want the yc…and ambi…and have given up…but she just orbits, so to speak, not offering…
Is this a good thing?; maybe she and the yc would, like all the rest, not be the happy dreamfam place i have hoped for.
Sigh.
Why can’t ppl be nice? I always was.
Why can’t they initiate? I did for decades.
Why can’t they fund me and volunteer to work for me? I did those for many, too.
Is it really just so i finish wrapping up my work?
: (
I hate not knowing if i will get my dreamfam.
It was bad enough being lied to about getting city funding.
Now THIS? : /

Wave after wave of flawless, perfect, gorgeous, amazing images, ideas, inventions, updates, vegan, and more!
I am grateful and overwhelmed in a good way.
…but without my hotties/loves, i just am not happy or destressed or balanced.
I know i would not be able to focus and wrap up my last folder’s uploads if they were here already, or finish those last saucer rings in Creativerse, but i still long for their returns and our first conversations and lovemaking.
I have waited a decade for them!

I have started worrying what i will do to pass the time here in shit fail town when my final folder is uploaded,
but i have exercise,
novels to edit,
51 clubs to model,
etc.,
and things always work out for me.
Someone good always shows up.
Someone always helps/funds.
I don’t have to pray or focus.
I don’t have to believe or limit my wanking.
They always show up.
Even in middle-of-nowhere places.
Try to relax.
There is always more to do, and always more help/offers.

I never really believed all the fiction and fan youtubes were softdisclosure, but then ambi and sabrina showed up.
They might just be lookalikes ordered to test or seduce or steer or upset me, but…it is nice enough, for phase2, that they appeared, sent or not, good or not, calibrated to me yet or not.
Maybe it has all been soft-disclosure to me, after all.
What a nice thought.

How i hate them for showing up and Always behaving the way i don’t want.
How i hate that stupid, hypocritical line, “want what is in front of you”; THEY clearly didnt want Me when iii was n front of Them; they only wanted my subMission! Not balanced or loving at All.
…
Maybe she meant “want what is in store; what will come to you”, rather than what already was.
That would male since…if she really was time-seeing.
But the typist was a fool saying Many deadly lies, and many retarded insults.
Gibberish; the phase2 mix.
All i can do is leave it behind…and hope realAmbi will be as good a wife to me…as my roommates have been bad.

The pruned tree used to annoy or depress me, but now it makes me think of the World Trees’ stumps unpetrifying and reforming.

It must be signs, all those jobs never working; I am not meant to pay my own way and save, but be donated to and invested in.
My work is too important to do anything else.

Praising fake deities…and defaulting to gratitude and trust and patience…sends the signal that failure and negligence and crime and evil are okay.
It says fake is okay.
Not cool.
…
ReJecting all that…may be the signal needed to force any forces/gods to change.

Writing/RPing military…preceded actual military.
Writing and planning trips…preceded actual trips.
I wrote of Ambi, Graciella, Kara, Laynia, Rain, Sabrina, and so many others…and they all turned out to be real…and even sexier than I thought.
So when i have blips of worry about writing/modeling my own commercial air/spaceline… : ) I remember this trend.
It is so nice to have all the designing/planning/writing/spells done; it makes it SO much easier to envision and Hold the vision. Amen.
…
Maybe letting go of travel for a few years…is what freed up tons of my power…to finish manifesting Inisfree and beloved Ambi. Amen.

Phase1: no dreams of my own, and constant bullying/abuse to only copy/mimic the evil dream of others.
Phase2: my own dream occurs, but takes decades, and keeps bottersweetly coming on in brief moments without warning, so many times taken back away.
Phase3: finally living my dream, all of it came true. Amen.

I sure hope the typist…had only been told to find my limits…so that realAmbi learned/saw them, then memorizing them bc she wants to know and respect me and ensure we stay together forever.

deja vu from blocking the 2 fb-faggots ruining the vegan group/post
–and what a good sign it is that i again immediately blocked that evil.

any job offer AT ALL is wrong/evil/phase1; those are ignoring my holy/critical/life’s work.
they always offer shit pay, anyway; easily counter-ignored.
even ppl NOT offering me jobs… is btr than those who DO; at least the Former are Not trying to distract me from my sacred/important/genius life’s work.
reject ALL job offers –and all humanimals who Offer jobs (such evil).

3s: Madison RJH neighbor daughter back in Plano; inaccessible 🙁
then Madison, IN, x2; tons of work/progress/spellcasting/spellcrafting.
then the Madison Range; ruled by my 2 daughters from Ambi, amen.

In 2015 and 2018, I knew I had SO much left to dream up, write down, and do.
Now in 2023, I can just as plainly sense, just as surely as I sensed when it was time to become a warrior/Marine, that I DON’T have much left to do; that my spell/vision is comPlete, ready to manifest; NOW I am ready for Ambi and the others; our/my dream-family and long-sought team. They come to me soon, and stay with me this time, amen.

1:18pm tue24jan: just occurred to me that the tan Nina Dobrev-like girl who hurried past me in the YC when I was doing landscaping that one day in 2014… could be Faith Blakely; she certainly would be physically perfect if that is her,
and she may just have been startled … when I noticed her… bc she was not supposed to let me know her back then; Ambi’s orders, probably.

my instinct told me Not to initiate w her or ANY of them.
my experience did, too.
their bizarre/bad/sexist/retarded behavior did, too.
that is a TOTAL alignment.
(beFORE, i HAD no experience, and only desperAtion OR instinct told me to enlist and do other things; to GET experience)
…my instinct keeps telling me to wait for Them to initiate w/for Me.

Jada was preteen-ified Rain; almost ready/perfect in phase2, even just 1 year into/after The Shift.
Her sister, Jenna, was the prototype for Jenna Kardashian; again, perfect enough, and almost ready for me, even that soon/close to The Shift.
Amen.

the job-offer and shelter-offer didn’t come when i first wanted it;
it came AFTER i had comPLETED all the WORK; the IDEAS-receiving phase.
now it is time for another appliCAtion phase.
ebb and flow.
‘day’ and ‘night’, just like the Mayans/Atlanteans said.
…
and it took longer than 1 year –by about 2 months; things have slowed; they are not 1 month here, 1 month there anymore.
or 20 days dealing with 1 idiot, then 20 days alone, then 20 days dealing with another idiot/idiots-group.
the slowing (at this point) is good.
it means stability is coming.
…
and ppl repeatedly reaching out, initiating, offering me more $, etc., …is the flickering on of the team/teamwork i’ve wanted all along (but couldn’t manifest/have back then, bc i still had more work to do alone –which could ONLY be done alone; distractions-free; me-purity)

exact same call conversation… about the exact same furnished rental…
and the exact same website about regenerative agriculture; still on this loop.
interesting.
maybe this loop continues/repeats… until i accept her; until i let my wish / dreamgirl into my life;
life keeps making sure i get the chances and time i need.
and what i really want; montana and Her.
it jogged my memory; in 2015, i really didn’t like seeing the nonvegan site/stuff…
but now i don’t care anymore… bc at least iii am what works for me… and this is a golden ticket into the town i have dreamed of starting my family in.
and i already have seen in person multiple times she is real… and looks and sounds better than my wildest dreams.
…
if she comes back and stays with me, i’ll be so happy i’ll cry.
i’ll cry so hard.
i hope she won’t think less of me for it.
hopefully she’ll like how much i crave her.
and how much better i function when she is in my life for good.

I have built all I can think to, and updated everything, and vastly improved many webpages, so…idk wtf else i can do.
I really hate it here, even though i got all that work done once and for all.
Fucking purgatory-like phase2.
I hope phase3 comes soon, and is as wonderful to me as phase1 and 2 sucked.
I want to be w my dreamgirls/fam/ppl as often as i was alone in phase2, and as often as i was stuck w scumbags in phase1.
I want my relationships w my dreamgirls (ICVs included) to be as perfect as everyone before was flawed and wrong.

Another surprise wave and completion; tonight from 7pm to 11…i finished the 2nd MPHA computer model.
Another couple dozen webpages got their final updates, too.
The wrapup of everything is going well.
Times like these, i am glad Ambi and the others waited to speak and unite w me; i am wrapping things up so quickly and well.

Going/working ’til overload/failure every day.
Always sleeping healthily.
Almost always cooking for myself.
Such a good workout and work ethic.
Just a little more nature, love, sex, and play, and I’ll be as balanced as my blood/instinct has always asked me to be.

Soooo glad i am n my own place again.
Longest time i have Had my own place, too.
When it is cold, windy, snowy, or dark outside, and even when it is hot and bright, a roof and walls make so much difference.
I know another move is coming, and maybe a transition with it, but this trend shows me i will have my own place even longer next time, and a btr one than here, and even greater peace, balance, productivity, progress, and control/leverage.
I can keep calm and working bc of that trajectory awareness.

In the beginning of this life, i would have accepted my hs sweetheart and a normal house and normal job; i wouldnt have pursued more.
But the more the idiotic insane humanimals overreacted, lied, threatened, demanded, crossed the line, and abused me, the more i had to spend to avoid and stop them,
thus the more they owed me.
I found a way to collect some, but having only enough to survive and never save or invest, again it meant they were overcharging and underpaying me, thus owed me.
After 40 yrs of their unchanged level of severe abuse and crimes, the stakes keep going up proportionately, logically, justly.
With each new or looped scummy idiot, that means more compensation and justice they owe me.
With each bitch misusing her looks, that is one more that must be acquired if they don’t all line up at once like i told them to.
It is interesting that ambi typist had Hers line up on my birthday, but that was only rp, and only a dozen out of one THOUSAND of them that should.
So after decades, all i will accept is my city, her as my top wife, billions of dollars, perfect health, all the power of god/s, total loyalty to me, every human enslaved for me, sacrifices to me, taxes to me, tithing to me, and much more.
Until all abuse ends, and I am given my ask on a silver platter, the stakes will forever keep raising, their debt to me compounding and skyrocketing.
Everything and everyone belongs to Me now. They either admit that or face Old Testament me.
Looped or not, mindless or not, they will kneel wholeheartedly to me and repent for their ways, or i will finish the last of them off. The only loop i will accept is them worshipping me and funding my wildest dreams.
How it is.

Sleeping in whenever i want and need is sooooo nice and long due.

I dont want anything but ambi in 106 andesite w me…but a room at a ranch n mt IS the phase2 peaceful version of The Wolves, and IS a Huge step closer to yc/phase3. So be it.
Until ambi returns, i gotta do what i gotta do.

I rmbr this offer from 2015; how sad it made me, picturing being there without her…but after what her typist said, and after how she made me wait and then treated me in person, i don’t think i would want to be w her at all…unless she has grown up since then and will treat me right from now on.
I wish it was secretly Her ppl getting me there, easing her and I back tgthr, once and for all.
That would be my miracle.
Either way, i need to be there. I have waited and tried long enough. Let it be now. This year. This season. Amen.

“God’s country”…is now truer than before; ambi and I will be there…and in command of it.

I didnt have faith i’d survive surgery and stay n the Corps; i had grit and focus. Determination.
I didnt have faith i’d survive iraq; i had busywork and necessity and fear.
I didnt have faith a Lot of times, like that i’d stop getting sick ever again, but that also worked out.
I had no faith, or even any Idea, that my dreamgirls are real, yet they keep appearing.
The point/sign is that faith isn’t as necessary as they/some Say it is.
Rn, i have no faith in ambi or the yc or inisfree working out, but, again, i never had or needed faith b4.

Offered the same only rental option…this 2nd time…by the same ppl?
The loop is beyond this failtown.
I wonder if it is magic of Her doing…ensuring i always end up bk There.
Maybe they/she even made Sure no other rental are availae both time i looked.
Hm.
…
I was able to stay in the waypt town this 2nd time; i should prove able to stay n the yc area this time, too.
Let it be.

80$ bill… became 180+ last month… then 230 for next month. wtf.
might just not pay it lol.
leaving anyway.

even though rent at the new place is double/+ what I’m paying here in shit-hole,
my income will be ~5x what i’m getting rn.
that is fine by me.

Moving in w someone as absent and cold as her…prob would have been a disaster.
I hate these steps…but transitioning is prob a lot wiser than just moving right n w her.
She clearly needs to warm/grow up.
And if she smokes like the typist claimed the typist did…barf.
Hopefully that was just the typist.
The typist never said Any of her characters smoked.
Fuck this world.
Anyway, glad i have a solo Wolves-like nice ranch room…and a safe place to be in case ambi IS there but doesnt give me a good move-in vibe…or in case i want/need to get some space…even if she Does invite me into our dreamhouse.

Dej from the text; in 2015 i asked the same thing, and he text replied the same thing about calling the other guy.
Wtf.
This loop is so long…
I wonder what it means.

More phase2 mix: while i hate that they aren’t my kind, and judged or worried about me based on fb, i am also glad They revealed themselves For me, i not even Having to browse their pgs.
…
I hated even socal…for not being all vegan and otherwise like me, so if i hated even There…then there is no reason to skip mt rd3. Again, at least mt has the correct air and scenery…and matches my writing/dream.
…
Not having to get another bed…is gonna be Really nice.
Just take it.
Even ambi…in the rp…wasnt vegan…
Maybe by u being there…itll get btr this time, it being rd3, not rd2 (staying the same)…or rd1 (getting worse until u had to leave).

After spotting the loop/s, i wonder if Anyone in the town…or country…are real.
Sure does make me no longer feel bad when i skip the smalltalk w them lol.

I keep trying to wave/rush through so many updates or builds each day.
I get lots done.
I wonder if this stems from the same ESP that told me when it was time to become a Marine.
Either way, i am glad i push myself this much; it got so much done in 1 decade…while others i met…didnt really create or realize anything at all.

Dont try to help or convert or teach or save anyone; the fewer that last, the less you have to deal w.
Time Incarnate did say she only accepts/chose you, anyway; it vibes as code for “only you, auz, get to live forever.”

Now w the 1mar invite repeated (from 1st time; 2015), lol i feel like i am rushing to get more updates and builds done.
Funny, that.
I guess 2023 is gonna be a year or work out there, not on My stuff.
Fine.
Was kinda tired of the computer work for the moment, anyway.

Interesting that the rm is Said to be available…the exact nbr of days aftr my class…that it takes to drive there.
Coincidence?
Suspicious?
Idc anymore. Just wanna be outta here.

I wonder if the geodes and other seemingly abandoned/innocent objects i was around as a child…were really to see if i react to dif things…or have the ability to learn by proximity/touch w them.

I didnt blow/miss 3 or 4 opportunities w her; she blew 13 YEARS of opportunities w Me.
Even w all the extra work i got done by having no one to go home to each night,
it was still hell,
I still had nightmare gross bs to deal w nc of needing $,
and she and the others really have a lot of explaining to do.
I can’t fully hate them…but i sure have no reason to love or trust them yet, either.

Even though the last year or so is a repeat of 2015…
the fact that it is a repeat is not a repeat; me noticing it looped…is new.
Lol
And when i accept the phase2ish mt offer, it will be breaking the loop…bc in 2015 i went south, then to ivy league,
not northwest like now.

Theyve prob been monitoring me my whole life. No sense caring or wondering or worrying about it now lol

realAmbi chose not to roger up, which saddens and scares/worries me,
but the job-offer looped/repeated, and this time I WON’T be letting it get away for more years in a row.
this time, I am at least seizing IT.
I would make my move with realAmbi, too, if only she would show me she is still watching, still interested, still coming back to me, now into my arms and to stay.

Phase1 was when i truly and only hated.
Phase2 has been a mix of hate And love; there r some things i have loved about Many places and ppl and other things, but not yet all about any one of them.

My instinct told me when to enlist, and was right; it would have been less possible later, and saved me right n time frm my hernia.
…
My instinct told me to hold my vision and grow it, and was right; it led to flawless hotties replacing monsters.
…
My instinct told me to scout, then leave, then return to, then leave a 2nd time, many places, and was right; staying always failed, and leaving and returning always led to HUGE improvements.
…
My instinct has since told me to fail every town entirely…anytime ANYthing is wrong, and has been right; settling Never worked, and this forces ppl to police and calibrate their own.
I am treating the world like a Gorean Master treats a single kajira, and it is working.

the powers i instinctively gave my 4 children from/of ambi…
are signs that Time and I create/make/decide all other things;
the elements,
the forces,
time itself,
and what/who unifies/orchestrates/choreographs them all.

Them inviting me to that furnished place on their outskirts twice…is them repeatedly accepting who i am, and making their kind’s standard/indirect offer/s.
I bet Bill there is already a willing servant of me, using his clever way and business to help manifest my will/judgment.
I have nothing to worry about, and every reason to feel safe, welcome, supported, and proud.

Ideal World is our first 100% compatible planet; we had made 16 or so during the creation of SSA (not counting the planet-sized moons its gas-giant has), but each of those was not designed to be ideal for us, just different planet types and global uniform biomes and climate zones,
and we had found and cause/willed others to be compatible with us to varying degrees during our Mapping Campaign,
but we had not until Ideal World made an entire world with the main goal of it being absolutely perfect for us in every way.
…
Like Ba’al, it has an invisible orbital layer which automatically effortlessly instantly deletes anything that we wouldn’t be pleased with, thus it is like a cloaked forcefield fused in its nature with an omni-recycling device. This makes orbital bombardments impossible.

Only dragons of/from Dragonhome can get anyone there; like ICVs having permanent natural total control over the only portals to/from the Inisfreean realm, the same is true for people such as Dragon Barbie when it comes to their own homerealm.
You don’t have to be compatible with the dragons on Dragonhome to get there; they can let in or bring captured people they don’t like, such as for imprisonment, punishment, hostages, sport, or food.

Only people fully compatible with Auz can get to Ideal World, so there is no way they can get anyone else there, invited or not. It just isn’t physically possible to get anywhere near that world otherwise, even if one was in a vessel capable of surviving the passage through the stars-network/core.
The core-star of Ideal World does connect to other stars, but only the stars of solar-systems controlled by people allied with the Inisfreeans.
People who can open portals for themselves, if they are fully compatible with Auz, can portal directly to and from Ideal World. Everyone else who is fully compatible with him… can use its core-star as their portal.

If ambi hadnt been so stubborn or cold or futureseeing, i would never have been isolated this long, thus able to get all these ideas, remember them long enough and repeatedly until i had time to write of them, and so on, thus i no longer hate her, only that i didnt get to enjoy some kind of assurance from her, or mutually-loving touch with her yet.
I suppose the vibe i got off her most of the time, in text and in person, other than that fucked-up pier choice she made, IS my assurance and loving touch… for now.

sat28jan2023 first vegan teleconference/meeting/zoom. bout time! and Great timing
…and it’s ppl around the world now! no more single-group or individual. finally almost feels like one of my world Congresses, etc. 🙂
all olds, tho; no hots; bad sign; phase1 beings pretending/trying to be phase3?
and the claim that he knows how THE WHOLE UNIVERSE works? wow. as retarded as it gets.
he might have ASSUMED how things HE has observed in his PINPOINT of spacetime SEEM to work, but claiming he knows the entire UNIVERSE… which he has NEVER been to even 1% of?
AND defaulting to saying it is based/built on dualities? that is either phase1 default-negative, or -at best- phase2 default-meh/mix bs.
not okay.

It actually vibes right and makes Sense that I don’t finish some of what I started in this phase;
phase1 preVENted me from starting anything good –or even exPERIENcing most good things,
and phaseTWO was just about me getting enough designing and revisiting/revising done to know exactly WHAT I should PHYSically start, and WHERE,
with phaseTHREE being when I start things that OTHERS ALways help me complete perfectly.
I’ve done enough.
It’s time to actually LIVE/enJOY my life.
Amen.
Things will finish being designed by my ICVs and the goddesses, who understand my vision now; it is plenty-complete / complete-eNough on my website.
Amen.

Hopefully they r reQuired to hire me and hook me up w the best stuff…
Maybe ambi compelled or threatened them lol.

Surprise in mail: 1st time being given something Good; 2 more boxes of my fave cereal.
Free…
I didnt order them.
Strange.
Suspicious? Yeah but so is everything so far.
…2x on this 2nd time to IN…I have gotten a 2pk of it.
Interesting.
But 99% of the mail was spam/scam/harassment/evil, so…no points for anyone. Only more demerits and fines for mankind.
How it is.

How i feared and hated being here…and wondered if and how i’d ever leave…
Now suddenly i have only 3 wks left <3
Thank fucking god.
Time for my next leap.
This time somewhere good.
This time bk to th yc.
May it work perfectly for me.
Amen.

Being near those rich…can work…bc my siring field effect;
it might make Bill and them all…choose to donate and tithe to me…etc.
…
Maybe that nina kajira-esque hottie who quickened her walk by my right side that one 2014 landscaping day…was still feeling sired, thus hurrying bc she sensed maybe i wasnt pleased w her yet; maybe she sped by not out of stupidity or cowardice, but a sense of urgency based on growing devotion to me.
Maybe…
Nice thought, anyway.

interesting sign/alignment: the only way to complete my next site bkup…
is to let go of this waypt… and go for where i wanted to go Anyway; YC for rd3.
and the net is already set up there and waiting for me.
huzzah.
good times.
not perfect, but good/better.

i keep thinking of my childhood accident/injury/’memory’ each time i see the skiers and x-bikers doing their flips/tricks; i can never do such things; my fear would be too high.
i am glad i have amazing things i CAN do.
i don’t mind letting others be the best at those other things; the bike tricks.
still, it is bittersweet for me to watch; so inspiring, but so out of my scope/destiny rn.

after what canada did to erin, all of it will be annihilated.
Elena shall be in charge of it now.
Amen.

The regen site loop just helped me figure out the year i decided to become vegan; i was against the site n 2015, …and in 2013 i was at gdd…and not at all happy about the processed/nonPaleo…but i was still eating sushi, elk, etc. …so 2014 or 2015 was when.
Veganiversary…

I’m finally feeling better, relieved, excited, more balanced; rd3 yc sure does that for me.
So many restaurants i want to try there.
Skiing i want to finally learn.
I sure hope this works out.
I keep hearing thr Apollo 13 stirring launch music n my head lol; so risky, so badass, so milestone, what i am doing.

It took 2yrs, but i am finally glad i was forced to rebalance and wrap up my spell/s. I found so many issues to iron out, and so many unfinished parts, and now they all Are ironed out, complete.
The last few folders aren’t necessary, but i’ll upld some of them to pass whatever time is left btwn me and my love.

That video claiming the “circular-orbits theory doesn’t add up” itSelf doesn’t add up;
she claimed that the moon would have to speed up on one side of the Earth, then slow down on the other, to maintain a circular orbit around the Earth which is itself moving in a circular orbit,
but why would that be an issue?; why wouldn’t it get yanked toward the Earth, speed up as it is flung around the away-from-Sun/back-side, then lose speed as it passes to the Sun-side (b/c the Sun is then tugging on it a little more), then keep falling around the Earth until the Sun was no longer slowing it down, then the Earth tugs it back up to speed behind it, over and over?
https://www.google.com/search?q=circular+orbit+moon+must+speed+up+then+slow+down+every+time&rlz=1C1YTUH_enUS976US976&sxsrf=AJOqlzWo-9Q9-tfv0Exj68ZBp4knD5shWQ%3A1675011739769&ei=m6bWY-fHLvWmqtsP0r6boAI&ved=0ahUKEwingfn9oO38AhV1k2oFHVLfBiQQ4dUDCBE&uact=5&oq=circular+orbit+moon+must+speed+up+then+slow+down+every+time&gs_lcp=Cgxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAQAzIFCCEQoAE6CggAEEcQ1gQQsAM6BAgjECc6BQgAEJECOggIABCABBCxAzoRCC4QgAQQsQMQgwEQxwEQ0QM6CwgAEIAEELEDEIMBOggIABCxAxCRAjoFCC4QkQI6BAgAEEM6CwguEIMBELEDEIAEOgcILhDUAhBDOg4ILhCABBCxAxDHARDRAzoRCC4QgAQQsQMQgwEQxwEQrwE6BwgAELEDEEM6CwgAEIAEELEDEMkDOgoIABCABBAUEIcCOgsILhCABBDHARCvAToFCAAQgAQ6BggAEBYQHjoFCAAQhgM6CAgAEBYQHhAPOgUIIRCrAkoECEEYAEoECEYYAFDEC1jCQGCtQWgCcAF4AIABvwGIAeI-kgEEMS41OJgBAKABAcgBCMABAQ&sclient=gws-wiz-serp

maybe humans taking things out of animals…
and robbing/extorting their own kind…
all stems from them originally being programmed/engineered to mine things out of the Earth.

There prob was no prev renter/couple; the timeframe may just have been to buy time for someone to get things rdy.
Either way, going.

I wonder if she hates me…
but surely this is phase3, so she will come back and has understood my fatigue and love of her.

Another unexpected massive discovery, update, and webpages completion; Customs, Ranks, Uniforms, etc.! Wow!! <3
With ideas/revelations like That, i can’t be mad anymore at All about this year or two alone.
It was so needed, so right, …and now so complete. Amen.
So glad and proud i got through my emotions…and did all that work.
It makes me love ambi for daringly showing up early to keep refreshing my hope and calmness…while also always slipping back away, ensuring nothing stopped all this; these ideas today and during last year, etc..
It would be easier if i could be mad at her…but i just can’t.
And i reviewed the memory of her vibe at Oceanside…and it wasnt cold or cunty…or even testing; it was hopefully, girly, offering, respectful…
Fk…
I miss her so.

Chars dir.
All have only habits I love them to have, and no habits I dislike. All have voices that sound sexy to me. All are always eager to improve / fine-tune themselves to be/become whatever I want them to be (such as sounding slightly different, etc.). And my ICVs always love teaching them how to fully please me, and all of them love being taught that by my ICVs.

Nv
Lucille bbq vegas. Barry downtown prime in circa. Hanks n green valley.
Nv. Nacho daddy. Yardhouse. Divine dosa. True food kitchen in caesars. Brew dog. Javier’s. Lemongrass at aria. Din tai fung. Catch. Sushisamba. Crossroads. Slice of Vegas, Hussongs, catch, Din Thai Fung, Hells Kitchen, Mott32, Picasso, Sinatra… truth & tonic in venetian.

Fl
Vanucchi brothers in hollywood fl. Hollywood Farmers Market the best Waffles and Chikn’

ZERO dej’ Now : )
ALL of this is new. : )

7:45pm – relieved i just got the go-ahead to relocate there,
but why the f did i get deja-vu again; on the offer-text…?
smh.
so strange 🙁

“A salary is what they bribe you with to abandon your dream.”
Maybe n phase1, but now…i have already had and devoted decades to me dream, completing its vision/spell enough to perfectly manifest it, and i have Witnessed it perfectly manifesting/ed, at least n huge part/s. : )
Now, they r paying me to Live my dream!

Ahimsa is wrong; violence is necessary toward the relentless evil.
…
That idiot mindlessly parroted a lot; ahimsa, mass-extinction claims as if they were facts, pharma cartel masktardation, etc., and it made no sense why he believed humans are not meant to go extinct…when he simultaneously believes many extinctions Did occur.
It is extremely arrogant of him to believe humans deserve more time, and that humans are the only ones to learn some things.

—
Lol write on any tax form: “Your dark magic offer is rejected. My counter offer is that you owe me $1,200.00 since 2009, plus 10% of all IRS/USA income, which, with fees and fines for tax evasion, comes to $10,000,000,000.00. How would you like to pay?”

Correction; sum all these years, divide by 10, then double that for fines, and say That is how much they owe me.
Add to counter offer sentences “Since you have a secret second economy with plenty of money, this will be reasonable and easy for you. Failure to comply will result in your accounts being frozen.”

2023 4.71 trillion
2022 4.90 trillion
FY 2021 $4.05 trillion
FY 2020 $3.42 trillion
FY 2019 $3.46 trillion
FY 2018 $3.33 trillion
FY 2017 $3.32 trillion
FY 2016 $3.27 trillion
FY 2015 $3.25 trillion
FY 2014 $3.02 trillion
FY 2013 $2.78 trillion
FY 2012 $2.45 trillion
FY 2011 $2.30 trillion
FY 2010 $2.16 trillion
FY 2009 $2.11 trillion
total = 48.53 trillion
48.53/10 = 4.853 trillion; the tithing-amount owed to me (before late-fees and fines for tax-evasion)

“Leona Helmsley was a notoriously vicious real estate mogul who was convicted in 1989 of evading $1.2 million in taxes. She was fined an additional $7.1 million and served 18 months in federal prison.”
So apparently I can fine them far more than they chose not to pay me.
Since they were always unfair and extreme to me, I’ll reciprocate fairly;
they are fined 10x what they owe (bringing their total -so far- to [(48.53 + 4.853 trillion) x 10]; 533.83 trillion),
they are fined for child abuse (10,000),
they are fined for attempted assassination/murder (50,000 x 1 attempt for every nonvegan thing they sold me, + x1 for every attempt to get me to poison myself (every ad on the radio and tv, and every mindless parrot), + x1 for the air-IV, + x1 for every prescription pill, etc. –so, basically add another ~trillion dollars),
and they are fined 100% of their sexy females (for brainwashing them to hijack and misuse their femininity/sexiness).
Every time anyone chooses to do anything I don’t like, their entire species will again be fined; sacrifices will be taken from them, such as entire demographics or fleets or worlds.
So I say the USA and world / humanity owes me roughly 535 trillion in backtaxes with all those fines.

Furthermore, they are sentenced on top of those fines, and all “time” must be served in the only REAL prison; The Abyss;
with all those felonies, including thousands or even millions of attempted murders, all those life-sentences can’t be placed on such short-lived / self-life-shortening beings, so the only way for them to serve all that time is for me to apply a generational curse to their entire species.
Thus, humanity shall be booted into The Abyss and kept there to stay turned against itself for the rest of time, amen.
phase3 isn’t about default-love unearned. phase3 is about having learned my lesson, and offerning no more undeserved compromises/deals/tolerance.
phase1 was being FORCED to deal with them, and not even yet REALIZING they are evil, not actually people, and that they had no caPacity for good/learning.
phase2 was realizing they are evil, and still doing my best to work something out, such as amnesty and fair payback, but they -being pure evil- chose to stay as bad as ever/before.
phase3 is stopping them. phase3 is loving only what SHOULD be loved; Me, My wisdom, and only what and who Works for me. Amen.

—
Time to reclaim my mountain.
And 2nd mntn, btw; kirkpatrick belongs to me, too.
I wonder what my 3rd mntn will be… : )
(and infinite more, as All lands now belong to me –and Want to!)
…
Doesnt matter what the humanimals out there say or whine for/about; things calibrate/align to Me, never the other way around.

Already defaulted to neg about 2 Very good things;
1) my amazing heroic world travels,
and 2) my wise and health-ensuring diet,
thus he seems to be a phase1 demon, but…it is the end of phase2…and now the start of phase3, i declare/manifest, and that is evident in how even a defaultneg demon is also offering decent work, pay, lodging, etc.
Might be another honorless bait&switch, but things always work out for me, so…
whatever.
Doesnt sting much anymore, after decades getting used to their lowly kind always doing that retarded bs. Their ineffective verbal diarrhea has only served to fuel me over the years.

Note how even when i rejected offers, they were offered again years later;
returning babes,
this yc arrangement,
etc.
That shows the offers haven’t improved individually, but also
1) collectively, they have improved Tons since my youth,
and 2) they remain on the table; i miss no opportunities, bc all opportunities loop until i tolerate them.
That is pretty phase2-y. Good enough for now.

Soooooo happy i got the new uniforms collage completed! It looks AMAZING! made sooo much sense. Wayyy easier for me to keep track of and study than my wall of text on that webpg.
…
And right as i finished it, i got the offer for 63k/+ to get bk to my dream neighborhood!!!
Now if only ambi was w me…
Life would be perfect at last.

Aaaand julie regurgitated fag evil. Smh.
Another phase2 mix/failure.
Contact ended.
Good riddance, freak.
Shame on you.

I wish and hope and declare and manifest realAmbi (how she looked at the AZ motel) is as compatible with me as she is beautiful and sexy-sounding; 100%.
Amen.

…so glad, finally, that i took these extra years to finish all, freeing myself from the anxiety and distraction and multitasking and duality.
So glad i waited through all of phase2, ensuring i never ended up w a mix/bait like the dumbass jarheads and others did.
So glad ambi was mature and/or futureseeing enough to give me this much time and space.

January flew by so quickly! Wow…
With this pace, i rarely have any time to feel lonely for her or the others at all.
…but now i want things to slow Down so i can spend Way more time w them; w All my honies. Amen.

I already know from 40 yrs of experience that everyone there is gonna behave like everywhere else; stupidly, badly, rudely, insanely, trying to pressure me to do bad things, trying to betray me, ignoring all my value and specialty, but idc anymore.
Even if i end up doing work for a house she is in…and see she has some other fam…it wouldnt surprise me or even hurt that badly. It would suck, but it would just be a continuation of the suck that has remained since phase1.
No one has behaved well.
Behavior has not improved.
Hotter bitches made Passes, but ultimately behaved the same backward evil dumbass way.
So i go there now…knowing they will be shits. They have already begun; fug meeting, moody, bitchy/wary about me doing good things (my vegan posts), spying, etc..
Whatever.
Humans and god never were good at anything, anyway. No point feeling moody about it Now.
Just enjoy the mntns and better air.
Get firstperson inside intel.
Have some more ideas.
Post some more updates.
How it is, i guess.
If only i could purge them.
If only my Inisfreeans were w me.
…
So this is what it is like to actually “expect nothing”.
Doc1 sure was wrong about the “always being pleased” last half of that claim, though; i have never Once felt pleased; even when i found Perfect things, my health and surroundings and circumstances put upon me made it so i couldnt enJoy them.

“Expect nothing and you will always be pleased.” stems from the same old broken-record mindless-parrotting slave-brainwashing gibberish the death-cult betas always bullied ppl with;
“manifest nothing, do not have your own ideas, do not hold a vision, and default to mindless unearned positivity no matter how awful and evil others are”.
But i analyze, and notice things, and find all truths, and reject that bullshit false teaching.

I guess i am about to find out if all the ambi encounters really do keep getting better…or if she is just another retard like all the others i have met so far; will she be there and Happy to see me, and Proud of what i went through and chose?…or will she be a cunt…or a cunt by not being there when i need her…like so many times before?

Ideally, ambi would show up along my way there…so i dont have to accept another bait-and-switch offer…
but ambi has never been ideal yet… : /
…
Aaaand, sure as ever, they offered 20k less than we discussed in the meeting.
Smh.
Humans.
They never learn.

It is fine if this job doesnt work out; i wanted to be working in inisfree, anyway.
It is fine if the rental doesnt work out; i wanted to be living w ambi, anyway.
Let go and see.
Things will work out whether i focus or not now; i have already focused for DECADES; that is enough to make the rest happen.
Amen.
Be the Office Space chill.
Just let go and flow.

Being offered 65% of what was discussed…is a scary sign and ouch…and it stirred a vague memory; it feels to me like this is a loop from last time…and that i rejected it then…when the discussed rate was not honored/offered…and when normal negotiation/edits failed…
Do i accept it this time, anyway?
How else will i break this loop?

Maybe i will always worry. Maybe everyone always does, naturally.
I just try to keep n mind that every time i got w the girls, they were nothing like what i wanted and asked for,
so it doesnt concern me anymore that this latest step is also not what i want.
I have asked for the same thing since 2010 and still not gotten it; i am numb to the ongoing bs offered in its stead.
…
I wonder what will stop me from This latest job / attempt to ‘get a leg up’ on my finances.
Something always has.
Will it still…in a loop/repeat/rd2?
I am about to see.

Sooo glad i finally sold those cookware things. Didnt get what i wanted for them, but anything is good…since i paid nothing.

So glad i found my phone plug : )

With the all-day and some-nights ideas and pc work…maybe it was right/good that those i love…werent here yet; either i wouldnt have had any time for them at All yet, or i wouldnt have had any chance of even Having all these revolutionary ideas/visions, let alone the time and quiet to write and revisit and perfect them.
I feel like i am getting yanked back and forth in this logic tug-of-war btwn hating them for only being what Looks good…and appreciating that Something has prevented them from interRupting my years-long wave of genius.

How do i reconcile that she was obv spying on me?
How can i love her when she did that?
Sure, i told her i shared All w her…
but why stay silent all that time?
Why not tell me it really is her?; that would have given me Way more hope and peace…
: /

No matter how bad the joboffer, or how scary living w a boss is, it is the Only offer so far…and i always eventually get more.

Nothing accelerated my life’s work and rest and healing more than everyone being a cunt; zero evidence of behavior or satisfaction from anyone = easy choice for me; only work, thus maximum potential progress, and a far greater spell manifestation far sooner…when i finally let go (set it free to come alive for me).
So i hate them all…but also recognize the value of this unpleasant system.
Happiness never drives progress. Happiness is the fruit/reward.

Why r they only there when i am too Tired to talk, and too betrayed to trust, but Never so far there for me when i Do want to talk and such?
That Has to change.

Even though the hrs may be long…
it gets me around the richest…
and my dreamtown…
and is my 3rd rd there…
and i dont have neighbors…
and always end up getting jump offers.
Take the meh deal.
Talk to the hotties so u can finish switching to phase3; Good deals, not Tolerable deals.
This is just a step; dont treat it like an end/worry.

28 is still a lot better than the 12 i was given after promised 18.
And 12 hrs in the most beautiful valley and town i have ever seen…is hardly work at all.
Far btr than staring at a plastic sheet while my ears are ringing worse lol. Fucking factory.
Take the meh offer. Go work in a visual and air-quality paradise.

This is rd3 there, and rd2 of this offer (1st being n 2015).
I got mad and rejected the first time.
I can suck it up and accept it this time.
It is good enough to get me out of this hell.
It is almost miraculous it was even made; perfect timing, perfect location, etc.
…
I will accept this time.
Not happy, but happier than i could ever be Here.
Still might be robots over there, but i dont mind robots in general, just the blob bots in ugly Here.

I worried, when they didnt respond for 3-4 days, they didnt like my posts…but then they offered me the job.
Now all i worry about is if my loves will return…so i can stop these temp gigs…and stop my daily solo work…and finally feel happiness, family, and love.
Are they really witches capable of manifesting all i wrote?
Have they really been waiting for me to finish it…so i will see their maturity and ability?
Nice thought…
Heavenly hope.

12hr days is not good…
but 3day weekends IS…especially THERE.
…
and all that time up there…means my aura effect stirring it up that much sooner…
…and many more opportunities to meet ppl, make friends, be active, not feel alone, etc.
…and many more chances for ambi and the other dream-ppl to rendezvous.
…
Take it.
Last time, i couldnt afford it.
This time, i can.
Go.
50k awaits.
Maybe this job Will work…for a while. For a year. The Last year of this 1st post-Shift step/cycle.

50k/yr after all expenses…is a hell of a lot btr than the 0 u have had for a decade and a half.
Take it.
For fuck’s sake.
Stop wanting more. It is just a next step. It is a Good next step. Take it.

2 fingers got cold numb for first time ever today… (minus usmc trng, ofc)
A sign?
Prob just that i was out in below-freezing after months of pc work indoors.

I used to think “only end badguys i am told to”,
then i found all the lies, and was treated so badly by all, so switched to “end anyone i can who was evil”,
and now it is “end everyone until only the ones who are polite by my standard remain. Purge billions at a time just to make a point. Their kind accepts only force. Even the ambi typist rp kept begging for that.”

“But if we didnt kill them, they would overpopulate.” False; they are overpopulated because you unnaturally breed TRILLIONS of them each year, forcing yourselves to have to pay to maintain that extra, and forcing yourselves to have to keep killing the same amount each year.
No species breeds that frequently or excessively on its own.

So now the big question:
Clearly a phase2 fork in the road; both options suck rn:
1) do i accept this offer to work too many hrs…for too little per hr…etc… but get the dream town and great restaurants and perfect air…
or 2) do i keep waiting in blob hell fail town…where Nothing is vegan, and the air sucks…hoping for the bitch who chose to be rude to me via typist and in person, and who almost never shows up, and refuses to communicate except with blobs like the motel whale?
…
I choose not to wait for the bitch who made me wait 13 goddamn years.
I choose not to take the advice of the typist who lied about so many things, and was dead wrong about so many things, and who pulled a jls w that “idc what the experts say” verbal-diarrhea tantrum.
I choose dreamtown, huge pay boost, and the extra hrs in my dreamtown, which vibes bc it causes my will-field to be present there that much more often, thus manifesting it to align to me that much sooner.

 

–

February:

It is VERY easy to tell who your people are;
the people who are right for me… would NEVER pressure me to do ANYthing,
whereas the people who ARE destined to be “my people”… instead do what I naturally LOVE and feel DE-stressed with.
(and the people in between would at least ASK me what I want, NOT pressuring/urging/recruiting me in any way; phase2 ppl.)

deja-vu from the phonecall;
about offering the lady a job,
and hearing “I’ve been burned but it is what it is”, etc.
…so strange; so many things repeated exactly as they were in 2015.

20k less than what was mentioned…
is still 40-50k more than 0,
and in dreamtown, no longer hell.
40-50k in dreamtown… is ALWAYS better than 0 and/or in hell/s.
just fucking take it.
it’ll get better.
just think of how much better THIS ONE STEP already is.
at least “the universe” SEEMS to be TRYing now. it never put decent effort into ANYthing before.

rude or not, intentionally-rude or not, them not engaging yet technically doesn’t yet matter; i still needed ALL this time alone.
bait-and-switch offer or not, it doesn’t much matter; it’s still a 40-50k pay-bump –and paid to be where i WANT to be.
40hrs less per week (due to working) still doesn’t matter; my work is wrapped up now, Anyway.
no ppl visiting the computer model/s yet still doesn’t matter; it just ironed out the last few imagining/placement issues left in my design/spell.
travel impossible for now or not… also still doesn’t matter; i’m still in wrap-up and wait-for-it-to-manifest-perfectly phase.
ambi not in contact rn or not… still doesn’t matter; i’ve seen she and many other flawless goddess characters actually exist, and orbit me, and clearly vibe that they know it is me, thus i hadn’t needed to chat them up to set things in motion.

going now… and doing this work/job… is how you make the friends you wrote about.
It’s how you see all the neighborhoods, not just the street to your lot.
Not knowing if Ambi will be there for you, the lot already owned like her message said, is how you know you are going to the place you want to be, anyway; it is the perfect scenery and air and dispersion for you, all others scouted/checked.
Go.
You always go, ppl always act stupid in some way, but you always make it work, and now you finally feel like you are “coming home”.
So go.
Amen.

note the hint slipped in there (or sign?): “it’s like he doesn’t have a pulse”; vampire 🙂

It feels soooo good, and Zero deja vu, to have my uniforms updated all the way to completion on so many webpages.
…
and to have just 3 weeks left here in loop hell fug waypoint.
Last rent check was dropped off.
Last furniture selling soon.

1st time having 4 bags of fritos at once.

Once again, the credit sys lie had no affect on my wants and gets; still got into a great place…right where i wanted…and before income proof was even posb.
Amazing.
And here i had worried lol…but this place should/could worry Anyone good…and worrying a bit shows how seriously i take manifesting a good life for myself and others –including my future children.

it is a good sign that the idea keeps coming to me that maybe ambi went back in time to secure 106 for us 🙂

was that also ambi in the hotel with the black guy with his pants down, showing his underwear’s top few inches, when i was eating in the common room by the tv?
…maybe.
odd.

how many times was turbulence in the primitive human airplanes… caused not by wind, like they CLAIMED/LIED, but by sexual frustration/tension… which their dumbass culture/brainwashing caused?
every time?

all their power is based on pressuring people to repeat what they say/believe; it is ENTIRELY based on faith/manifestation.
they have no actual power/strength… without obedience/mindless-parroting.
thus… me writing my website… and others seeing it… ALREADY toppled their fake-power system.
Inisfree is real.
I am god.

the sq17 cadets running-cadence saying/chanting/repeating “mommas lock their daughters up whenever we go out” was retarded bragging/boasting b/c that, they ignorantly/stupidly didn’t consider/realize, can manifest.
thankfully, i wrote decades of spells to fix that –at least for me.

note/remember how kriske only told you what She liked/expected,
never Once asking what You like or expect; phase1 bullshit.
demons attempting to judge, shame, train, and change you.
glad you resisted.
glad you tensed up and didn’t back down.

I feel fanTastic now that i made and uploaded all the uniforms, and wrote that millennia-long spell to manifest my airline fleet 😀

Being literally a few minutes down the street from my dreamhouse…is as phase2end phase3begin as it gets.

Still in my 30s, and already n the YC –for the 3rd time. That’s winning at life.

So annoying i keep getting unsolicited calls. It shows, in some cases, that my site is being visited, but not always by polite sane ppl; polite sane ppl would actually read and honor its content, such as by only using my donors-only nbr to call me if they have donated.

I really hope it ended w the typist…bc realAmbi wants me in her life sooner, and knows the quickest way to become a family w me…is to have no contact at all during my wrap-up phase…bc that is what gets all my vision/spell in perfect order for manifesting sooest.
I really hope she is still out there, my girl through and through.
…
Based on how she and the rest have behaved so far, i am not expecting much, …but there was always that obedient, revealing, decent vibe…so distinct in phase2…when so many phase1 losers lingered; the hotties vibed as showing up for me, and leaving in peace, so unlike the phase1 scum who caused problems no matter How peaceful i was.

I really hope the rp over the last decade Was disclosure and interviews so i would know to expect them irl…and so they would know and do what i like.

I really hope the rp of her threatening everyone…was just a test to ensure i would protect them/us all, never blinded by love or lust.
I hope they were thrilled at my reaction/decision/posts.
Phase3 ppl Would be.

Napping is so nice. Like hibernating. Perfect for this teens-temps week.

Going during Spring…is a very phase3 thing; in phase1, even when i Tried for Spring, i got Summer and then Winter w Boot Camp lol.

Will she be there to intercept me again like she did a couple times before?; so i don’t have to have another roommate/landlord/subpar situation?
I definitely would choose her at a new fork in the road.

Ambi, sabrina, and others all seemed to instantly appear when i had lost faith and energy;
me losing faith was not punished, but summoned them like a mayday to loyal rescuers.
Some hotties who appeared when i had nervous breakdowns were cunts,
but ambi and others were cool as ice, and left in peace…
When i was weak, they came early; ahead of schedule.
They didnt wait for me to be strong and perfect on my own.
And when i didnt engage, they still came back, over and over.
…
And something makes me believe…that when they finally return, it will be to stay w me as daily and long…as my design-phase has been; decades.
And i want that; it is time for it all to manifest.
I want to transition to Them.
I dont need to “be careful what i wish for”; i have always gotren into amazing places…and out to tell the tale.
I have always chosen perfect hotties, and rejected evil behavior/mindsets; lust has never beaten me; i have always chosen honor. Even when it was evilly reacted to by scum, leaving me homeless and hungry.
Anyway…
the time is finally right for my loves to return and stay With me.
My spells have shown them how devoted i am to them, such as by empowering them to goddess level/s, and being VERY specific/complete/clear in what i want and need and request.
…
Thing didnt work out beFore…bc i was meant to stay undistracted.
Things can and Will work out now…bc my work is done, and my loves are no longer distractions.
The bad behavior from before…may only have been destined bk Then…bc it ensured inisfree got completed. Now it has.
Amen.
Ambi, my love, please come.
It is time for us to make our four babies…and live together happily ever after, amen.

If she can see forward through time, amd has been around those who can’t, she was prob already used to ppl getting upset, losing hope, etc.,
and i never lashed out at Her; i just vented in private.
So…
That’s good.

If ambi or whomever/whatever hadnt kept scaring away hotties…or having them behave like shits, …all my decade/+ of genius ideas would have been too distracted to occur, let alone get all typed up, revisited over and over, perfected, etc..
Even if she threatened and tortured every hottie who came to see me, resulting in their uniform silence and departures i hated, …the end-result was still breakthroughs in many fields, and the best website and city and culture and kajirae program and ships EVER.
My journey didnt always include wpns and battles, but i certainly traveled as far as Aragorn and all the greats, and i certainly faced actual demons, inside and out; i am great, i am exceptional, i am King.

–
Another happy surprise; working on my mmorpg again : )

Maybe Nate is her brother’s name…

That rental might never have had anyone in it…and might just be existing when i need it to…and he was compelled or programmed to say/beLieve it had ppl n it…only to time when i go there.
Maybe.

Being charged rent…forces me to interact…and take the break frm th pc i wanted to.
Not ideal; i prefer Only being paid, Not paying for things, but…still a major alignment of many things;
dream
RP
desire
need
networking
scouting
further trng b4 i have one of those homes for mySelf
etc.

Having to pay…also signals to me this is a time to stay a while.
Thankfully, i saw how bad things/ppl are everywhere; so no more interest/logic in going.

In a way, even though i didnt like how blamey her phrasing sounded, she was right that i was going too fast –only bc others were too slow, and my spells not having manifested things out there yet.
But me going…sent a powerful message and energy…that waiting Wouldnt.
Me going…is like acupuncture instd of acuPressure; way more effective.

370/yr for pc insurance got u dn?
That’s basically 1$/day. ~30$/month.
…
Your VEHICLE insurance is 1,680$/yr!; 140/mo.
…
And look on the bright side; they gave u 2 discounts, and it didnt need renewing until you became Able to renew it. : )
and u have already witnessed them fixing it…remotely many times…and in person…
though that could all have been staged…to slow you : /
Whatever. Taxpayers are paying for it.
And i am living n my dreamtown.
In my 30s.
WithOut any rich hookups yet.
It’s fine for now.

–
I was the one balancing Others –incl her.
I was balancing me And them.
I was Always the wise one.
Always the tolerant and patient and humble and fun and encouraging and clean and driven one.
…and when i dumped all those pathetic users, that’s when my travels and work progress Really “began”/increased.
I balanced myself More…by letting Go of all of Them.
…
Still, my work is done now; it is up to it to manifest; it is the ICVs who shall answer my call now.
The hotties answered.
And i believe nyria and amber icv1 were able to on the blk robin farm in 2014.
So now it is time for the rest of their kind to.
There is only so much designing and uploading needed, and then it is done.
That is when it IS right for my focus to shift to who keeps answering my calls politely.
Let them come/return to me now.
Amen.

Fugtards making the jump posb…has a neat way if ensuring i want to be in the place itSelf; if it was hots/comPatibles inviting me, i might be going for Them…even if i Didnt truly love the place.
…
This is also the first and only place so far which has offered to help/’pull’ –and it has now offered Twice.
That is a sign.

She and a few others totally aced looking good in clothes…and sounding good…so i wonder when they will Also ace looking good naked…and beHaving how i prefer them to.
Surely that is meant to come soon now that i’ve felt i completed my work.

Every last club area marked, tp tested, forms picked, notes staged, ready to model and ss and bp-cutaway.
…
I am trying to stay happy about the fact my dreamgirls showed me they r real, but…i am still worried they were just teasing/baiting me : /
This is Earth, after all…
Are my spells really working?
I guess i’ll nvr know.
All i can do is decide whether to try again w the ppl on this world…

It took several years to do all that writing, designing, ironing out…
All that time to estimate how many saucers would be at my airport each year lol.
But now i can finally edit the next book or 2 or 3.
The groundwork is laid.
The technical part is over.
…
Honestly, though, i hope writing was just a phase2 thing; i hope i didnt need to finish those novels; i want them to keep manifesting on their own…like perfect ambi and sabrina and rain and graciella and maria and nebraskaNinaICV did.

–
Modeling all clubs, after all; scale models of Altar Girls, Crater Lounge, etc

I keep feeling weary and napping, but only after bigger and better waves/intervals of updates/wrapups, so it is a good ebb and flow.

If ambi truly wants all my sundays to herself, she will have to get me out of this lateat stepping-stone gig whose ppl have mentioned weekend tasks.

Idk if she will make me wait in yc a full year before showing up and inviting me into the cabin we chose…
but i do know all the food, hiking, skiing lessons, and more i want are there.
The humans will likely disappoint like their kind always have, so i am glad i finally chose and made it bk into the 1 place that calls/sings to me so much that i will hardly care if any humans behave stupidly again.
Besides, my time rampaging against them w my beloved ambi is fast approaching : )
Payback and backpay come to me soon; i will Take all i seek and deserve, no longer waiting on it to be Given.
Taking is more liberating and awesome, anyway. Yarrrr.

It’s creepy and perhaps a sign how similar the krog hirer and the yc hirer look… Robots?

demonizing and banning healthy normal natural interaction/love/touch,
while only promoting disgusting sex with self-deformed death-eaters (i.e. old-looking / decaying ‘ppl’),
is the invaders’ obvious attempt to normalize tolerating and wanting/desiring only what is ugly, evil, dying, and death-causing, etc..
That is why we coined the term gerontophile; those who are so mentally fucked up / brainwashed that they actually prefer old-looking ppl (too-old / dying-looking).
There is nothing normal or healthy or attractive or sane about desiring or having sex with those who cause and eat death, thus decaying/killing their own bodies.
The invaders have ALSO been trying to normalize/promote ugliness in general; “don’t fat-shame”, “don’t judge a book by its cover”, etc.; all evil spells, shameful and honorless, wisdom-less.
fat IS shameful; it is gluttonous and apathetic and lethargic.
ugly IS wrong; it is a failure to form offspring and one’s SELF correctly.

interesting concept/theory: “the man gives the woman/women something, and she gives / they give it back to him better later” (such as when he gives them money, and they return with groceries, or he brings home ingredients and they bake something, or when he cums in them, etc.)
…which makes me wonder if I have been doing this to the whole of Creation on the COSmic scale; I keep sending out empowering and unifying thought-fields / spells/writing, and hotties keep manifesting and returning, always after a “delay” (time to process/manifest).

note how they default to “he froze”, but not “SHE froze”.
the assumption/brainwashing is always anti-masculine sexist.
it is not masculine for a man to request things from a woman.
the WOMEN are the ones who i have witnessed freezing –and lying and gossiping and worse.
THEY are the ones who had easy opportunities to get with ME.
i Never froze; iii volunteered for WARS. iii traveled the WHOLE WORLD.
they didn’t even make a peep.

it should Never have been “why don’t iiii talk to them”;
it should ALways have been “that’s fucked up that She didn’t talk to You. I’ll go encourage/tell her to. I’m sorry she was rude.”

idc if this 2nd offer to pay for me to be in yc is ambi clandestinely saying i am welcome there, right beside her now.
all i care about is that iii am there.
if She wants to be in my life, then she can show up and introduce herself like a polite person for once. no more cowardice or excuses or condescension from her fatfuck retard brainwashed peasant typist ogre.

if she was fair, sane, transparent, honorable, and worthy,
she would let ME spy on HER just as WELL,
and be just as much of an armchair-coach/critique as she / her TYPist has been.
but she didn’t.
disgrace.
hypocrite.
…
hopefully the only reason she Didn’t let me likewise-observe/spy… is so i wouldn’t be distracted by it; so i’d wrap up my work years sooner.

maybe me being bk in mt for rd3…will cause things to work out for once; it’s actually where i want to BE out there this time.
even if me getting ‘pulled’/offered bk there… is just to calm me down / shut me up a little (in case the telepaths don’t like how much i vent out here), it’s still another BIG piece of what i asked for and chose and deserve.

returning to the USA…and IN… and OH… and KY…
certainly did seem to confirm what that one mexican guy at the hostel said; it’s all an illusion here.
these ppl clearly CAN’T learn –bc they are looped/robots.
maybe i was supPosed to see this; it makes it even EASIER to push the button… than just disLiking them all and being beTrayed by so many made it.

A vision as detailed as mine can only be conveyed and shared via the website I instinctively stayed focused on building. Now it is done. Amen : )

Another day of disgusting idiots everywhere i went. Nothin new. This state apparently likes being abusive, or at least known, like all other places I’ve been, as just another useless failtard hellhole of zero effort and zero decency.
Whatever.
Got used to this crap long ago.
Not expecting much.

She wasnt the woman of your dreams; you never dreamed of being disrespected by a druggie cunt.
She never did what you like.
She even used one of the most repulsive deformed beasts ever as her typist/relay. Disgusting. Unthinkable.

There is no consciousness level higher than my own. To claim such is an insult, and to believe such is retarded/insane.
Never insult yourself; i am always the right way for me.
All other systems/paths/teachings are overcomplications and gibberish.
As the wisest by far, obviously i should keep selfvalidating; no one else has ever even come Close to my level of intelligence.
They often havent even Memorized shit well.

Doesnt matter if the humans in the new town r cunts/retarded or aligned; i am happy just being there when i choose, and in spite of them.
They wanted a battle, anyway.
Now they are getting forcefully aligned to me.

Even if my writing doesnt yet manifest like spells, it was still suuuuper fun and holy to write it all, especially in spite of all the dumbass humans/bullies/demons.
And it is VERY interesting that EXACTLY what i wrote and had in mind…turned out to be real…and intercepting me, wanting me, too.

Even though realAmbi and the others have behaved like bastards, completely uncultured and gaslighting and tormenting and abusive, it is still VERY interesting that babes like them have kept trying to get my attn.

Until ambi introduces herself with manners to me, she isnt my dreamgirl or even realAmbi; she is just another useless pretty face with a faulty program.

It’s heavenly to now be at the point when all the club music i approved is finally online, causing the readers’ minds to manifest it, and phase3 causing it to manifest perfectly just like how realAmbi looks and sounds perfect.
Almost can’t believe i am here xD
Been such a long time.
Glad i had what it took : )

So glad all 51 club subpgs now have TOCs, too –and Creativerse albums!
Amen!

The sculptures and paintings considered by humans to be such masterpieces…are hideous…and lies; they are the humans’ failed attempts to represent far better-looking beings.
They are also blatant attempts to normalize ugliness/deformity; cursed beings locked in wrong bodies.
Ppl in previous Ages never looked that ugly/wrong.

All that world travel happened when i barely focused on it;
now that i have focused for years Much more on setting all personAlities…and finishing INISfree, i am interested to see if all That has manifested.

I wonder if the change from ambi walking by w her brother…to her alone opening a door for me…was just automatic calibration…or conscious effort/progress on her part.
Either way, it was good progress…and suggests the longer i wait…the better her behavior will keep getting.
No way to really test this theory and Know, but…definitely a hunch.

Is her brother named Nate? Is That who she was calling to?

After how rude and abusive and evil and relentless their kind have been, not to mention how many times they tried to kill me, i no longer worry about improving myself at All, and Certainly don’t care if i give them any Pleasure. They should feel lucky i even let their species Live.
Every encounter w their hot femalea Should be all about my pleasure.
And they’d better learn to appreciate even quickies and Total disrespect.
They have earned that.

My instinct to have all hotties lined up at once…isnt extreme or unrealistic or weird; it is based on the wisdom of networking, aligning, unifying, becoming a si gular family w them, “the chain links lighting up once all connected”, etc.

Accepting a job offer…is still “going too fast/soon”?
Any job at All is too soon / incompatible?
Doesnt Matter; leaving me here w no contact or Better offer is “her/Others going too slowly”.
I will not wait in this shithole any longer.

Do i see her as the enemy for not treating me right…or as one of the only ones who respected me enough to give me total space plus hope when i needed it?
Both. It is phase2, after all, and All my emotions are valid.
She can be loved and not hated when she is with me and treating me well.

I hope my porn scarred and traumatized the cowards spying on me.
I wish it made them ashamed for being so utterly offputting and useless that it drove ppl to resort to porn, but they always defaulted to scapegoating and gaslighting, so…i doubt they have any logic, honor, or intelligence enough to realize, let alone admit, that any porn i resort to…is entirely their fault.
I spent DECADES trying to interact, Never isolating.
They drove me to this.
Blame is placed where it is due.

I’m so mad they stopped carrying those vegan chicken and waffle things…and i should prob will them be annihilated…but at least i now know from experience that they will be replaced w even better.

Anyone who is a feminist or toleeabt of equal rights, and anyone who doesnt do what i want them to and instinctively know they should, is sexist against men And women;
females who aren’t being feminine are sexist against their own kind, etc.

Every time i feel tense/wary, that isnt insecurity or cowardice or anything else bad; it is instinct reminding me that who i am around is behaving like a fool/barbarian/asshole.
Trust myself.
Amen.

“Once a girl knows she has you, it is over, and you’ll never have her.”
First of all, who cares?
Second, that shows Their failing, not mine.
Third, that shows society’s failing.
Fourth, that shows general lack of appreciation for devotion amd interest.
Fifth, that means they aren’t worth more than a week or so.
Sixth, there are always more.
Seventh, the next is always better.
Eighth, why stay w them Anyway?
Ninth, none were ever worth it, so Let them.
Tenth, that lets me know the perfect tactic to get them to leave when i want them to.
11th, They should be worried about what will distance Me, Never the other way around.
12th, many times when they Didnt “have me”, they Still backed away like fools.
13th, i am Always right for being myself and stating what i like, and any who Don’t honor that are scum. I Want them to back away, revealing their true colors, saving me the trouble.

I hate that she left me no choice but to set up another bs temp gig and overpriced lodging.
We were supposed to be a team… a decade ago.
Where are my Inisfreeans? I deserve good women such as them, especially while the others I wrote of are yet to unite with me.
…
Based on all the “waves” of various good things that built up over the years, there is a good chance now that one of the next waves will be all the hotties I wrote of…finally teaming up with me once and for all. Amen.

I do not worry about my hate; my instincts, reactions, emotions, disgust, rage, etc. …have all served me, harnessed since childhood exercise, long b4 doc1 ever thought he was telling me how to use them as tools.
They serve me still.

I’ve started getting glimpses/’flashes’ of being unhappy about forming the club frames/’skeletons’, as if i already did it years ago…or saw it in a ‘dream’… : /
Pre-deja-vu?? Interesting.

Another phase2 sign: googled supergirl hentai…but it was “offensive to everyone”; not at all what i had in mind Or typed.
And it shouldnt exist Anywhere.
And they drew the tits and clit wrong again.
Unbeliebable how so many think that severe deformity is normal.
Sick.
…
As long as things r still disgusting mixed like that, there is no goodness or ‘pull’ or desire or attraction.
Hopefully every time i encounter crap “art” like that…the artists are disintegrated.

If the typist had been good, she would have been realAmbi, she would have told me that, and she would have defaulted to Happiness each time i treated her characters well, Never cautioning me about them developing crushes on me, etc.,
and she would have vibed as HAPPY in Oregon, not sulking in her car.
Unless she was sulking bc she knew she had to Wait for me to finish developing inisfree, but still…
Maybe i shouldnt judge her sulk vibe bk then…or her frustration…since i have had/felt the same so far.

It’s amazing how completely gone my attraction to any of them became…after they chose to keep being the same mindless useless dishonest rude.
And after when i discovered how their “food” industry is.
And after they betrayed me even well after phase2.
And after they showed me they dont even Have anything good to offer; no good bodies, no good minds, no good pay, no good jobs, and on and on.

Reassess. Review.
Did she behave btr than others? No.
Did she make me feel happy? No.
Was she there when i needed her? No.
Was she all talk? Yes.
Was she honest? No.
Was she informed? No.
Did she confirm she doesnt just look good under clothes? No.
Did our family and chosen house manifest? No.
Did she do the same insane evil bs lfb and jls did? Yes.
Was she in a retarded death cult? Yes.
Did she or her typist do drugs? Said so.
Was i left frustrated, starving, and miserable the whole time? Yes.
Was i respected? No.
Was i talked down to? Yes. Often.
Was she cowardly/indirect even in normal talk? Yes.
That is not “the one”, obviously.
Literally Anyone can be better than that.
13 years went by, and she remained alltalk, and rude, and dangerously stupid.
13 years, and all she ever did was walk by a few times, never even telling me it was her.
All that effort and honesty i put forward the whole time, and she wouldnt even give me real hope from saying she is real.
She let me think it was all just rp, a fantasy.
…
And even if she Had put that miniscule effort into being honest and informed and polite and helpful, reciprocating, …the law would still be sexistly on her side no matter what,
and she hadnt helped punish the criminals who wronged me,
and she hadnt improved my health,
and i was shown no signs at all she would be intelligent enough to protect our kids we might make.
She was never the best thing that ever happened to me. The best thing that ever happened to me was Inisfree; me; when i finally gave up on the failed species, resulting in the undeniable skyrocketing of my health and work progress and explorations.
I was the best thing that ever happened to Her, and she desperately needed my better example and guidance.
I would still have done the work if she’d been kind.
Her staying uncontactable and unconfirmed…didnt result in my accomplishments. It resulted in me losing the last bit of hope and faith i had managed to rekindle. It resulted in all that work…being an uphill battle wrought with numerous delays.
It resulted in me Needing sleep, not my sleep being Restful.
But…it did also 100% ensure i wrote spells to bond fully w thousands of other hotties i deserve. And it kept 100% of my time free, at least after i dumped her again. That meant my work got done Sooner. Much sooner.
Even a single kind message or meeting, from her or Anyone, would have slowed me down, even if just a little.
“The gift of abandonment”… Such a blessing in disguise, like before i understood “the gift of rage”.

I wonder how many events these always-lying humans…called abductions…when they were really liberations…and Voyages of Acquisition. Lol
Probably all of them.

Telling ppl the earth was flat was to scare them enough that they would not discover other resource-packed lands.
Telling ppl Space is empty and lethal and maybe full of bad aliens is the exact same propaganda campaign for the exact same reason.
Telling ppl time travel isnt possible, and that The Butterfly Effect is beyond our control, is the same, too; anyone can do anything if they focus on it –including preventing The Butterfly Effect.
But…since i apparently am the only one typing this, maybe only iii can; i am the one Thinking of it.

She disrespected my intelligence.
She disrespected my sexuality while demanding i respect hers.
She ignored context, defaulting to illogical tantrums.
She ignored evidence and experts and obvious truths.
She didnt even like it when i RPed as a devoted husband and father.
She didnt even like it when i treated her “characters” well.
And None of those “characters” treated Me well at All when They showed up.
They knew who i was, the vibes always uniformly confirmed, and they all chose to be rude, not even standing or introducing themselves or thanking me for a single thing, or helping me with Anything.
And i Didnt know who They were, yet They Blamed Me. And she blamed me, lying by claiming they Didnt know it was me. They knew. Talking/initiating was Their responsibility. EsPecially after all i’d been put through, slammed by evil Every time i tried to initiate.
She spied on me, as did others. They knew. It was spiritual warfare / a psyop aginst me the whole way.
Thank god my instincts held. Thank god (me) i chose to let them guide me.
Thank god (me) i tested all claims, and always stopped what never worked.

And “thank god” is a psyop; it defaults to assuming it isnt Me doing the good; it assumes there are deities, and that only Others/They are to credit/thank.

If she was the one for me, she would have told me she was real.
She would not have left me alone so long.
She would not have kept me limited to rp.
She would not have minded my committment to RPing/focusing on a Good life for us and our kids.
She would not have doubted me.
She would not have refused logic and evidence.
She would not have been upset i enjoyed many things.
She would have been Thrilled at all i am and do, because it works, and bc it is right.
She would not have dropped every single rp, then pretended i only RPed sex.
She would have Drooled at my sexual appetite, and been Thrilled i loved her and All her ppl/”characters”.

Still, only this much time and no contact…is what allowed me to get all caught/wrapped up before i completed my 30s.
And i certainly wanted it done.
I can’t completely hate her…but i sure can’t love how fucked up her typist was.
And i will never go through such retarded rudeness again.

Review how much of what i learned in school…actually got used:
Ag… some, but doesnt count; was on my own Outside of school, and i havent been able to Use it yet. Even when i went to “farms”, they werent really farming; they were autism terrorist scams!
Business…none; it was all nonsense, such as brainwashing to be robbed (“taxed”) and to accept evil deviants/degenerates to make a quicker buck at great expense
Choir…it helped elasticize my voice, but i only sing in private rn, as all music events were disgustingly overrun.
Computers…barely any; only enough to turn them on, run searches, save images and songs, do basic troubleshooting, etc.
CWI/News…entirely crap; was based on assuming the worst propaganda machine in history was actual information
Dating/proms…100% sexist selfdestructive crap neither side liked or needed
Driving…useful, but still taught wrong; “one foot for two pedals”, etc.
Geography…somewhat, but, again, a lot of it proved inaccurate
History…none; it was all biased/incorrect.
Languages…almost none, since everyone everywhere so far has been pointless to communicate with
Law… only to use the loopholes to get around that evil system i never agreed to
Math…only the basics; for budgeting
Medical…nearly all wrong; was pharma cartel lies/diversions
Military…only to draft my own, as all of the ones I served with proved primitive, insecure, autistic, superstitious, and way out of line, sorely needing beatings and worse
Nutrition… mostly a lie
P.E. …just maintaining jogging, pullups, etc.
Poli Sci…none; all crap
Public Speaking…like languages, not very useful since all ppl so far have been failures at listening and admitting critical truths
Reading…some, but at least half of it was bad.
Science…most turned out to be fake
Sex Ed…mostly a lie to trick ppl into breeding and never creating wellformed offspring, and leaving out the VAAAAAST majority of sex’s uses
Social Studies…useless
Sports…selfdestructive, barely even decent as electives
Writing…quite a bit, but they taught their own punctuation wrong; i had to correct it/Them
…
So, overall, the vast majority of what i was told in school…was wrong and never got used. Basic driving, basic math, and basic writing are about all i have used so far.
I had to correct all the others.
Anyway, in short: all that school…was more like busy work and attempted brainwashing…and spiritual attacks…all designed to overwhelm, keep fatigued and confused and erring, etc.
So glad and proud of myself i, even as a child, sensed and resisted and debunked it.
I am strong.
I am smart.
I am a real-life school-starting Xavier, and a real-life Dougie Howser.
Better, even; Dougie memorized pharma bs, whereas i actually found Cures, self-taught!

The only way my first interaction w her characters would be guaranteed to be good…is by doing what we did; rp to train both sides at once.

The only way for me to get as much work done as i did…in that amount of time…was for me to be disgusted enough to isolate and block nearly everyone back then.

The only way for me to tune out even Her…was for her to be rude and stupid in every post for a Long time.

The only way for me to complete my own vision/dream…was for all attempts at jobs and startups to not work yet; no distractions or multitasking.

Anyone who gets moody about me for any reason…is an idiot who did no hw, and who fails to understand Very easy concepts, and deserves None of my time.
Never care about them. THEY never cared about Me.

no longer try to help/change/teach ‘ppl’; you just got shown they are mindless robots on a loop. they were probably engineered/programmed to be inCapable of any improvement/learning/change.
so don’t let them frustrate you any more than a brick in a wall would; simply keep walking around it.
these just happen to be bricks designed to talk, perhaps with the hope that such would trick/stall/delay ppl walking by.

Pretty funny and pathetic that humans kept trying only the rudeness approach for 40 years…even though it never once worked.
They weren’t just doing it bc they enjoyed being rude; they were always doing it in hopes that it would make me feel bad, thus changing to be corrupt evil like them, thus they always failed.

Setting things in motion, and talking to other ppl, never stopped her from rendezvousing. She might still be along the way. It certainly is another brave long drive and mahor fork in the road.
There were lots of red flags…but also lots of good signs that made me dare to hope some again…
I will give her a chance if she shows up for real this time, no more hiding or games.

If i had known they were all gonna be silent, weird, and ignore my culture and needs, not even greeting me or saying who they are, i never would have called out to meet any of them.
Still, i am glad i saw so many of their lands and individuals; it shows me there is not a single place worth preserving, and that makes my work a lot easier.

Even though they offered me ~half what she said in the meeting, it is still decent, workable, and a funded return for rd3 stuff to begin.
It is phase1s offering a phase2; mix.
But it is at the end of phase2, and a 2nd time, so…prob a sign to go there now.
Fine.

Since humans behaved the same evil way everywhere i went, it only makes sense to decide where i live based on the scenery and temperatures, not the ppl.

Va just went up by 200+…
another bit of help
and things getting easier
good sign

RealAmbi, and the latest gig offerers, r prob all robots or cia spooks lol. Whatever.
Lame amerifail fails on.

Soooo glad i stopped playing WoW b4 they pulled that panda faggot shit.
I wonder how many things i experienced at just the right time; after they got good, and before they got bad.

Having to return here for now sucked hard, but getting to wrap up my life’s work was a tolerable trade.

If realAmbi doesnt show up and introduce herself, i still get the yc…and i guess more time to learn to ski. Tolerable.
Plus, not many men have what it takes to overcome lust for such a hottie.
My Gorean side shone through every time.

It keeps occurring to me that I don’t need to finish the Creativerse builds of the saucers or anything else; that was a phase2/design thing, ironing out the last details, so the irl could be done.
Besides, my vision/plan was always for my ICVs to make the Smooth/Beautiful (game engine) and IRL builds, anyway : )
and now they can; now they have my final guidance for them.

As with iraq, israel, the gc, ivy league, and so many other trips/things, what in yc seems above your $ range…will be paid for by someone else when you state you want it and let go.
Same w antarc/inisfree. The updates u did this past year are your statement. You wrapping that up and focusing on yc instd now…is u letting go of it, trusting it will be miraculously honored/built/provided for you.
Amen.

If i get to see ambi again, i will thank her for returning, and for showing me she is real those times i needed hope, and then i will kneel and ask her to stay.
I will be scared she will behave like the others did, but i still know/sense it is time i have my dreamfamily with her.
Amen.
I hope she likes me even though i dont like my abs rn.
I hope somehow she thinks i am as perfect for her as she looks and sounds perfect for me.
She sure could be my perfect complement…
I want her to be my forever and everything.

My disgust for their masses, behavior, and stupidity…has, for many years now, always easily outweighed my lust for the few of them that look tolerable.
That has to change…but only them behaving could change it.
Until then, i take care of myself…and hope only for my ICVs and other “characters”.
Maybe phase3 is about letting go of humans entirely… I did foresee and write and live that, after all. That has been the trajectory…

another curious (and good?) sign: never forgot to lock a door before,
and this morning (wed8feb2023) my back door by my bed opened “on its own” (from the breeze/pressure?),
…making me now consider that maybe someone (ambi?) was here… actually sleeping with me…
like I’ve fantasized/pictured/dreamed of for so many years, every night…
I hope so.
at last
maybe it means it is finally time 🙂

–
anti deja-vu note:
adding all links to all MMORPG subpages happened this month; february 2023

–
If I had gotten to go to Inisfree when I’d wanted… I would have ended up too happy/distracted to complete it like I have.
I wouldn’t have modeled it in simple form, finding the Uber Hangars overlap issue and fixing it.
I wouldn’t have finished the Dropship Theater, the Grocery Store, the Inisfree Spaceways, or a THOUSAND other pages/things.
If I had gotten Ambi when I’d wanted, same; too happy and distracted to get all done… so quickly. It would have taken YEARS longer. DECADES, maybe.
If she had shown up when I’d wanted her to, even just a week ago, I wouldn’t have had time to sell all the furniture and appliances, etc.; I would have been abandoning them.
I needed this time.
I hated it. I was lonely af. I was nervous. but I really needed it, and I really made it count.

dejavu from the call to the dentist…
wtf.
…is this dejavu, then? some of it was definitely a repeat, but… how much?
this, too?
does EVERYthing loop/repeat until i end up w dreamgirl?

i haven’t liked ANY of the offers so far,
or any of the communities,
or any of the individuals,
but so much good still occurred;
that dislike was natural and wise, and it led me to explore the whole world,
and it kept me from socializing b4 ppl were ready/compatible,
and it lead to my GIGANTIC website of MANY brilliant works.
and the deja vu COULD be interpreted negatively, and i COULD worry, but i am not my fake ‘rents.
i choose to focus on the GOOD of it –but objectively;
i don’t like the deja-vu,
but i DO like that it means i have a GREAT memory -spanning a DECADE and MORE.
it means i pay attn to details.
it means i get 2nd chances.
it means i am once again offered pay to live where i want to.
and this gig… is the best so far. when the best so/by far is in the 1 place i have truly wanted to be, that’s a very good sign.
maybe that is entirely manifested by ME,
but whatever the case… it is an alignment.
the good signs outweigh the bad.
…
if i had gone in 2015 when i first tried, i would have had to endure the scamdemic idiocy.
now it is after all that; i just might be able to skate in there with zero bs from the peasants/brainwashed.

incompatibles at gigs means total focus on learning, and zero chance of derailment.
it is a sign; to focus on learning.
(iow: it is not yet community/friends time. –that may / probably will come/happen AFTER i am established there)

Dejavu from the rate call during shower…
Entire convo was same.
Amazing… The timing; shower simult and all repeated exactly.
Wtf.
Still going.
Going this time. Didnt before. Better.

Deja vu from drive to carrolton dentist holy shit. Even google maps issue at intersection. Wtf.
But deja vu / repeat is still btr than bitch ambi who might have jls-ed me.

In 2015, i didnt know ambi was real and interested. Now i do.

I never had faith beFore, yet things still always worked out btr for me than for others.
If i’d had faith, i wouldnt have prayed; i would have just assumed things would be fine.
Maybe not having faith…is what makes us speak/declare/emit, which in turn is what better manifested things.
Thus it is Not a faith-based system, but a declaration-based one, the faith not mattering, and goodness/evil not mattering.

If she says anything like the many retarded rude things the typist texted, i can never forgive or love her.

Sooo glad i finally got my teeth cleaned! And zero upsell bullshit this time!

No matter how disappointing ambi and the others keep being, or how disappointing the offers are, there is Always WAY btr than here.
Go.
Always go.
And now u know not to bother w the ppl, or expect a fair offer ever. Whatever.
Numb to it now.

If they tax me a single penny, the last of them get deleted.
How it is.

At this pt, ambi is only delaying her Own heart/fam –and risking it; i lost so much interest i blocked her typist and ignored Real her.
Amazing how much her bad attitude outshined and annihilated her looks.

And ofc the dumbasses regurgitate the covid lie a dozen times in a row, hiding behind it as an excuse, not apologizing for mentioning a rate tens of k more than what was avail’.
But u know what? That makes it easy on me to continue my way,
and i Want barbarians believing in that crap; it ends them.
And no matter how many times i wondr and worry about my instinct/choice to not waste any more time talking to their kind, and to head bk…the fact remains that All initiations and networking proved fruitless, and Any success or friendship or love would have comPletely derailed my great work.
It happened how it needed to.
Inisfree was destined to get its completed design.
It demanded and deserved and got that.

And “it’s all an illusion”? So was everywhere Else!; no pt wishing i was somewhere else, as all “ppl” out there behaved the same evil dumbass way.

There was a time to enlist…and i time to EAS.
there was a time to return to sch, and a time to leave.
There was a time to scout/travel, and a time to stop.
There was this time to wrap up my work, and then the time to say it is done being wrapped up.
Now is the time to return to mt.
Inisfree has a way of continuing. It’ll manifest now like the corps did when i focused on IT, and like travel did when i focused on That.
There r always naysayers who dont know my power of focus and manifestation. They have been wrong every time; in childhood, about enlisting, about talking to girls, you name it.
I always get offered the best.
Even if it is a lure to try and stall me, i always get what i want.
I called every bluff and won every time.

300 for free w/d.
250 for free bedset.
50 for 17desk.
My, how things get profitable.

Pls keep n mine, me: no matter how shitty things still r, they r far btr than during mil or childhood and most Other prev chs, and many of my retarded enemies r basically laying taxes to fund my life’s work they retardedly hate.
: )

Stuck here or not, it is still funding my own desire/vision.

Doesnt matter if the pay is too little to get a house; i would only accept one as a gift Anyway.
And after typist texting “we already own it”, now it is entirely on realAmbi to show me that is true.

No credit check.
No lease.
Good signs.
Very good.
Almost miraculous.
Exactly what i needed.
Didnt even have to ask or tell.
…
Maybe Everything i need and want will now be given to me without me having to state or ask…
I hope.

Not having ambi or good pay yet…means it isnt time to get a fam/home…or resume travel/expeditions.
So relax about that.
and continue focusing on perfecting the design/vision/spell. 51 club models… coming up.
Do what works.
Do what you can.
Take this next step.
It vibes right.
The ppl never do, but the steps do.
And me becoming always healthy…and getting all those trips and work steps done…says it all; i have always made the right moves.

I wonder if ambi didnt link up w me…before 2020…bc it would have ruined all of the yc for me.
The covidiots.
At least now…there is some chance i may enjoy some of it.

Rd1: had to ride w drunks along dangerous commute to do miserable work for low pay…while hotties ignored.
Rd2: went for fun, w friend, no booze, but had to roadtrip there (longer commute), and only for a day, and no hotties at all.
Rd3: paid to stay, and no commute, and go in All the homes, and meet Everyone.
That alone (no commute) justifies the 2.5income; not having 3x rent as my income.
Go.
Accept it.
And consider this: how otherworldly huge this step is from hell-IN to almost-paradise There; imagine how even More-otherworld the step from There is going to be!
Amen

“Keep talking to losers, and keep getting loser things”?
I talked to the rich and they didnt give riches.
I talked to hotties and they didnt act hot.
That means i did the experimenting, and found that all were losers, and that i never really had an option at all; the only help, small though it was, only came from the nonrich and nonhots.

“What the heart wants”? My heart wanted manners. Havent encountered Any yet.

After what i witnessed…in all lands…
and how evil they were, no matter how good i was…
and how deformed they are,
I am no longer interested n them at all –other than as using them to test my inventions.

How can i ethically make children…when i have no army or power to protect them?
and when every single female i ever met behaved as dishonorably as can be, beyond my worst nightmares, no matter how good i was?

Will me being near all the elites…sire them via my effect field?
Maybe that is the experiment now.
Maybe none of them are real, anyway; more loops/robots.
I wonder if i will end up driving any i recognize lol.

“You just want ppl to leave you alone.”
Dead wrong. And stupid.
Obviously i want Scum to leave me alone.
I want PEOPLE to spend good Time w me.
I spent DECADES trying to Not be left alone.
What a fucking moron that bitch typist was.
Must have been a dropout.

Maybe the not3x arrangement…is another sign/urging to team up when ambi reappears…IF she reappears.
I hate the pressure/hints, though; they r pointless, as i tried teaming up Thousands of times over Many years.
Every time, i was betrayed. And betrayed Hard. And for no reason. And to none of their gain.
So weird.
…
Hopefully she shows up and actually has manners this time…so i can accept…and skip the steep lodging altogether.
…
I certainly will Never accept her sample-living w me there;
it is not for him or others to know who is my girl,
and i did not agree to life n such a place,
and she already spied on me for years. Nearly 10; she knows enough.

…i wonder if i will be given what i need to stay there this time…
I do not want to have to leave…other than for weekday work in Inisfree.

Ive been betrayed so many times, it would surprise me if ever i wasnt now.
Ive been wounded by others so many times, it would feel weird for a while if i finally managed to heal.
Will i get to see such days?

It has been unpleasant without babes,
but it was CATASTROPHIC each time i gave them any trust…
: /

Is this job a test to see if my mood improves when in that valley? even with little pay?
Perhaps.
But if they were truly smart and good, they would just invite me to the house i chose, pay me just to drive there, and understand that my happiness only comes from the company of MY ppl, not having to deal w Theirs anymore.
Such fools to keep testing and speedchecking me. I am the one who tests Them.
THEY are the ones needing adjustment.
I am the baseline.

If they hadnt been so constantly rude, i would not have isolated enough to complete the vision this soon.

It is funny how they refused to help unless i got a woman, and i refused to get a woman until they teamed Up.

It all worked out.

So nice to hear the rain outside tonight.

So nice to get an extra grand right when i need it.

So nice to know how to spot all the online scammers and bots.

After all i’ve been put through, i’ll never feel bad about Any choice/action i take; nothing i do will Ever come Close to the hells and horrors and hideousness the humans do on a global scale every Second.
There is a peace in this. It has made my life so much easier.
I do not like being with such freaks, but it sure makes me not hesitate to do right anymore.
Punished/demonized/betrayed either way, i now know to always resist them, to always do what i know is good.

I feel like mark watney sp in that mars story; dropping every possible weight…so i can launch again lol.

After the dentist deja vu today, i wonder if the drive bk to mt will give me that feeling even more.
Maybe it isnt deja vu now, though;
maybe it is the feeling i am on track…
…
I am Always on track; whatever i do, it is for Others to follow and agree with.

Maybe “aphrodite” and those others…were making sure i would not allow in bad ppl, and that i Would protect their kind. Maybe they were rude and acting stupid on Purpose…bc they knew it was how to get me to let go of them.
I get the feeling now that They r out Here…thus Not at or in that portal…thus r merely Relays for the Real gods who Are in it.

Was it really iii who had called to Them? Maybe i was Answering Their calls; maybe They had been seeking Me, thus i felt Want for them, thus we came toGether all those times.

No matter What anyone does now, it is too late; even if they healed my ears and all, how can i appreciate it, they having made me wait this long.
Even if they apologized for lying to and about me, and lying on my record, they have already proven shamelessly dishonorable and insane.
Even if they all went vegan, they have not been executed in payment for all They executed.
Even if they rebuilt my credit, they have not compensated me for all the hells they forced me to live through. They would also have to give me Extra credit; More than a perfect score; raise it as much as they lowered it.
And how are they to inspire trust of them…as much as they showed me they arent trustworthy at all?
How, even w miracles, could things Ever be repaired, let alone as good as they were bad?

Maybe i Want to be n the same hood as gates; he did get billions of my enemies to fuck themselves over…
That’s pretty legendary.
That’s about as blackops commander as it gets.

A Good woman/ambi would Never tell me what to do, after growling not to tell Her what to do; she would never tell me to smile; she would default to hurrying to me to ask what upset me, and to be loving to me so that i Felt like smiling.

Note how journaling always helped me,
and that talking to strangers never Once did, professionally or not.
Do what works.

Being offered a vacation cabin on a ranch…is a lot btr than having to beg for an aptmt crammed amidst humanimals.
Steep or not, it is worth it.
It is preferred.

I wish i didnt need ambi/money/help, …but then i might wonder if They were using Me; when i need help and they offer it, it seems more like them being good teammates/donors.

Multiple audible rain tonight : )

Do i dare risk another betrayer?
Well…whether i risk it or not, it keeps happening.
Maybe all of them are programmed to mindlessly do that…until i talk to ones i actually Want to talk with.
But after seeing how humans are, i dont want to talk to Any of them.
Thats what happens when i talked to everyone, and they all reacted autistically no matter What i said, and when, when i switched to politely waiting for Them to talk, they Still defaulted to autism tantrums.

So glad i am leaving the retardabby behind. Shoulda offered every day. Didnt offer once. What a complete failure of a fe.

It is a nice thought that maybe my networking Did pay off, just in a compartmentalized way so i would not be distracted by it or even know; that my city and businesses and allies really Did manifest and team up, and made all i wanted them to.
It is a nice thought that Every hottie is an ICV now, or at least trained to behave for me. I’ll see…
I’ll know by their vibes.
And by who defaults to the positive about all i do and am.

I didnt want it all to take this long, but it seems to have needed to; i needed this much time to really scout and know each area, to see how they all deserve what i planned.
I needed all the betrayals to spur me to go over every last detail/spell.
I needed the merciless issues…so that i would never tolerate for one moment anything that hurt me.
I needed the uniform unthinkable behavior of the bitches…to make me write the kanirae program their kind so sorely requires.
If everything had gone smoothly over the decades, today i would have only some memories of smiles, not memories of heroism, sacrifice, cleverness, genius, innovation, triumph, etc. . i also would have seen my city built before its design was complete, thus forcing me to have huge parts of it redone.
So taking these extra years…actually may have saved me from even More yrs of troubles/rebuilding ahead.

The propmgmt shows me every last detail of the whole hood/area, thus lets me pick the perfect spot, and pass by 106 to see my vision come to life, at least the design i chose which may end up somewhere else.
But dont pick a spot; let Her show me whoch one She bought and had ppl build our design on.
Let her do her part. Let her surprise me w it.
If it is as perfect as she Looked in az, and if she treats me as well as she looked n az, then she knows i will be her man forever.
As long as she is as attracted to me now and always…as i was to her looks and sound bk then.
Our irl has to be btr than the rp, though, ofc; no smashing vases or torturing those i love. She can only torture and smash those i hate.

I can still earn 55-60k if i work more hrs…which i kinda want to rn; to orient more sooner, and manifest btr, and avoid the solo moments, transitioning more into my dream-routine, etc.

I can approach/hit the goal when counting va.
I can approach 6fig even after taxes by working an extra day w nxt promo or counting commissions.
Worst case, after taxes and expenses, still saving >23k/yr.
Good step for now.

the dude sittin outside doin drugs… makes me not care at all that i upsold the w/d

No matter what issues the latest gig has,
you’re outside instead of in,
you’ll be on your own instead of micromanaged,
you’re always in your most-scenic / favorite expedition-area,
you’re where you prefer to hike,
you’re in the best imaginable place to learn to ski and snowboard,
you’re where the richest in the world are,
you’re where you are willing to start a fam,
you’re where typist claimed your dreamhome is already owned by us; “WE already own it.”
The only way this could be a better alignment is if she met me along the way, compelled everyone to pay/support US, and I skipped that gig in order to go straight to completely-built/manifested Inisfree.
but 95% or more is aligned how I have wanted it to be for years.
and that’s about 90% better than ALL OTHER PLACE I WENT, maybe even COMBINED.

No credit check.
No lease.
sounds too good to be true… :/
but it’s happening, so… it’ll just have to keep working.
amen.

i maybe like overcast days bc it reminds me of the ancient/First time; of the Firmament being in place; the thicker atmosphere during the “first world”.

I knew there was one more move coming; one more year-long period of final-adjustment/s;
it hadn’t been a full 13 years since The Shift; 2012-2013 was The Shift, so ~2026 would be the end of the first phase/level/cycle Since it.
2023-2026 = 2-3 more years to go.
will Ambi show up during that time?
I hope so.
At least I know she’s real –and WAS interested… and persistent/determined… if not Still.
I can tell this may be the FINAL “night” of post-Shift cycle/terrace-1, as it is to my ideal/dream-valley where I wrote/declared I would be with my beloved Ambi, High Queen of all the gods/goddesses.
…although… maybe this is the 2nd-final “night” in this cycle; there is still Antarctica/Inisfree to acclimate to.
Hm…
🙂
either way, SO glad I am FINALLY getting to go to where I am DETERMINED to start my family –as long as it is HER who steps forward one more time and accepts.
I won’t have it any other way.
I will only accept all my nights out of Inisfree being with Her.
until then, I remain a monk/alone, doing some final work on my design/spell/publication/site.

the most/loudest wind here so far in IN… during the one day during which I write spells affect the most areas and time-periods;
updating my MMORPG Expansions subpage; billions of years ahead 🙂
“the winds of change”
amen 🙂

3 bills (“hundos”)…is a phase3start sorta thing : )

What if all those ppl who rushed to move to yc like S’ said…were those aligning to me; those i said r the only ones allowed to live there now? : )

Others not believing my writing…doesnt mean it didnt happen; it means they r brainwashed or braindead NPCs, and/or ignorant. What i wrote Did happen. Iii decide what is fact, evidence, history, and holy now. Those who don’t understand that…are just the foolish losers who cast themselves out.
…
They said i could not keep seeing my fam during hs…but i did; my will won over DOZENS of theirs; my intention power is stronger, and manifests.
…
Dozens tried to demonize me during cadets bs, but i won through, never bowing to their pathetic mob.
…
They said i could not be a Marine…but i got in, even though multiple recruiters told me i could not. (prob lying to me bc scumbag demonic fake dad cia lapdog Told them to lie)
…
They said i could not get into the yc, but 3x now i have, twice paid to.
…
They said hot girls were out of my league, but girls far hotter than Any they Ever had Kept orbiting Me.
…
BILLIONS of them tried to lie by pretending contagions and plagues were real, and that i could not travel, but i instantly saw through it all, and got more traveling done than even on my europe50 mega-roadtrip.
…
In short? My will has Always beaten Many of theirs –comBined; i Will get my way. Again and again. Forever. Amen.

One last meal at the inn lol. I like it. One last view high above the lonely river.
aaaaand it sucked lol. worst tomatoes, worst sides, worst fried pickles I’ve ever had; another wave of signs this place must be left behind –and blasted.

Lol the worry about me becoming frustrated; i’ve been frustrated for decades. Since my earliest memories.
I’m Long since frustrated.
This has progressed/developed into holy war.
The old lingering frustration is just standard and free fuel now.

Until the only ppl left alive are those 100% loyal to me, worshipping me, giving me permanent access to all their wealth and powers…as much as matelyn gave me lifetime anytime access to her land, …we are still at holy war and purge, and everyone must go.

The yc is My property now. And they’d better start acting like it. Open every door for more. Pay for everything. Arrange all networking For me. And keep only the finest from every nation transported to Me, vax free. No rules for me. No laws for me. Only My rules and laws enforced.
When that happens, the purge can stop.
Until then, everyone is on the chopping block.

Only when all ppl left…only get mad at ppl Not doing things my way, will it be right for me to deign to interact w humans again.
Only when humans choose to be as loyal to me as they were to their countries and false gods.

Shortly after focusing my exhales on eurasia east of italy, just as i did w alaska before its highway cracked, a big turkey earthquake was reported, many dead, soldiers saying they preferred war to the amount of damage and chaos there.
They should have donated to me like i said.
Now they will pay over and over again far more.
The asshole tax is steep.
They will have no more opportunities to pay and worship me. I will will them all destroyed. And all other nations which chose not to pay me by now.
The only humans who get to live are those who invest all they have into my life’s work, provided those investors are also flawlessly sexy females who are shorter than me.
Amen.

Lol i bet the land grab rush post scamdemic was bc they knew being close to where i would be…would increase their chance of avoiding tye earthquakes and storms i cause elsewhere.
But they won’t be safe from me or my inisfreeans or ambi or her shadows or my other goddess wives…until all remaining humans donate all their best to me, and worship me, and kneel willingly every time i pass by.
Their terrors have only begun.
Turkey is just my latest warmup.

Amazing how fucking stupid they are;
they wanted to convert me, but terrorized and blatantly lied to me, making it impossible to convert me.
They wanted me to focus on school and grades, but kept interrupting.
They wanted me to stay in the military, but made ot impossible.
They wanted me to get w girls, but kept showing me deformities and severe attitude defects, then sent only cowardly cunts, ensuring i never got w any girls.
They wanted me to work, but refused to give me any real jobs, forcing me to give up even job searching.
They made it obvious they are spying on me, so now they have no idea which emails of mine are just me fucking w them.
They tried to kill me, but only poisoned me multiple times, and then killed themSelves by the Millions.
They wanted me to go to veteran events, but then every veteran there behaved like a psycho crybaby autism freak, forcing me to give up on all veteran events And veterans.
They wanted me to pay them ridiculous amounts, but refused to even Hire me.
They wanted me to obey their systems, then repeatedly showed me all their systems (legal, credit, tax, etc.) are 100% corrupt and heartless and negligent, forcing me to avoid and counter-ignore them All.
They wanted to stall and steer me w girls, but sent only rude idiots which naturally accelerated me, and rude males who prevented Any interaction Anyway.
They wanted to stall me w talk, but then made every conversation an insult and complete waste of time, forcing me to stop talking to Any of them.
They wanted me to stop traveling, but then forced me to leave my country as much as possible.
Ambi kept wanting to meet me, but kept refusing to say a word when she arRived.
How stupid can they all Be? Apparently Very.
So now i know they are all alltalk, deformed, incompatible, useless, minions/pawns, liars, betrayers, oblivious, and deserving cataclysm after cataclysm; all their hope is lost.

Them keeping me busy in yc won’t save them. My focus will remain on quake after quake and storm after storm and purge after purge until every last nation on every last work bends the knee.
My rage (instinct holy fuel) and focus (manifestation laser-like willpower superpower) will grow until they pay me billions and treat me as their only king and god.
Amen.

This is the first time my phone settings data usage green graph has a slope looking exactly like that of Inisfree’s central mountain backside.

20k dead and tens of thousands more wounded in turkey and syria?
More pretend news?
If true, lol; serves em right for disrespecting/ignoring my command.
Old Testament Auz is here.
…
note how the number/estimated dead over there… just about matches the # of $ they stiffed me on the first offer.
lol. fairness is here.

Phase1: maybe they killed some previous body i used Ages ago…bc i had focused on Them, not Me; i inadvertently empowered that which is not me, learning the worst of lessons.
Phase2: i returned, and again chose to be good and helpful, so they tried many times to kill me, but i focused on getting healthier, thus recovered in spite of them, then focused on purge-punishing them, and billions of them tagged and wounded and killed themselves lol. I abandoned their failed species entirely, thus skyrocketing my own accomplishments and abilities, while no longer feeding them w my energy/hope.
Phase3: the few of them who are left are forced by all the devastation to surrender to me forever, knowing they cannot win against me, and that i will hunt and hound them through the Abyss forever if they do not give in and pay. Never again will i empower any of them, unless it is paired w total alignment to me; their personalities perfectly compatible w mine. Never again willthey be able to even bother, let alone harm, me.

Having kids doesnt cause death like sepehr-tard claims n his videos, at least not for gods such as me, but i like that he apparently is part of the cia mediaflooding brainwashing doing all it can through seemingly separate groups to convince everyone to stop breeding.
Ambi and i will always be immortal, no matter how many children we make. Amen.
I never fear what humans assume/claim, for to fear such …would make me no dif than those who mindlessly feared Me when i had only the intention to help their units or farms.
All physics and everything else now bows to me; all do my will. I am above and in control of all. Forever. Amen.

even if ambi goes tyrant-retard at some point, I’ve already been conditioned to expect and counter it.
even if she is another loser bitch sent by the cia or whomever to try and slow/control/’balance’ me, it doesn’t matter at this point; the spells are written and posted and focused on for years, and they’re all going to be booted into Hell/Abyss.
even if the others are mindless robots on loops (and so far the one’s i’ve met HAVE repeated verBAtim EVERYthing from 2015), it’s still my favorite spot in the whole of the USA, maybe the world.
all that is VERY phase2; mix.
but… dream-valley is phase3 all the way.
so…
I go.

How stupid can ambi be?; having her typist be rude and retarded for years?
Not showing up for years, then showing up a few times, always being rude the same way, always doing what i hate…
Banning loving interaction like lfb and cps did?
Lala rejecting all evidence and facts and experts like jls did?
Saying she wants to be a tyrant?
All her characters showing up…only to cubtilly stride by me without doing Anything right?
And waiting until after i had lost all hope, being betrayed too many times, before she showed up, only to be the next to further lower my already annihilated hope…
She didnt vibe as wanting to destroy my last hope/want.
She vibed as wanting to meet me…
Which makes her stupid; bc she repeatedly did what i clearly did not like and would not respond to, and what No sane mane would respond to; she made Sure she failed…and failed repeatedly…and always failing the same Way.
She DEFINITELY didnt vibe as wanting to give me hope in oceanside; her vibe was cocky and to test me. She didnt care at All about how i felt.
I go now to mt withOut wanting her there. DAMN that stupid asshole.

anyone who charges me a penny for anything… is sentenced to hell forever. Amen.

Anyone who doesnt eagerly pay me 500$ for every hour i agree to spend w them…is sentenced to hell forever. Amen.

Anyone who doesnt backpay me 500$ for every time i spoke to or hung out w them…is sentenced to hell forever. Amen. This goes for the gods, too, including that useless dumbass Aphrodite.
She can plead to me while IN hell if she likes. She should have been good to me when she had the easy chance.

All “authorities” and nations are illegitimate and felonious and fugitives and treasonous unless i personally appointed them, and i didnt appoint Anyone yet.

It would be nice if they didnt default to being ocd for breeding/spawning. Until they default to using their pussies for what they were intended for (i.e. helping activate, unlock, and hold the vision of the entire Auz male (my) body), their defect will be removed by reprogramming or tubectomy/sterilization or both. Amen.
Tubectomy/sterilization/spayed for females.

Using psyops tactics blasting music to deny me sleep, and forcing me to come back here, only guaranteed more cataclysms and far worse hells.
Until i am with my ppl (the ICVs i designed, and all sexy females i desired) every singke day, every time i want, with zero rudeness to me, billions more humans will die, worse earthquakes will be caused, and hell on Earth will be loosed.
So be it. Amen.
Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.

Until every dog who threatened me is gunned down, all their owners shall be turned inside out.

If the yc gives me ALL its sexy females, and rolls out the red carpet for me, and treats me like GOD (by doing everything i want all the time), i will spare them.
But a single rudeness or anything i dislike at all, such as my ears still ringing when i get there, and they can kiss their asses goodbye.
If i can’t enjoy myself there, it will be leveled, too. Fuck em all.
Theyd btr miracle a cure out of their asses.
My rage will only grow until then, and i’ll Let it; it has always kept me in shape and free, serving me well.

There were no survivors of Atlantis sinking, and the gods didnt war against the demigods; the refugees of Atlantis were escaping fugitives of the unified gods who had already submerged the bad/lesser/unfocused beings…on this outer side of the world. When atlantis pulled up anchor, returning up into tye core of the Earth, all the gods unified in getting it there, the idiotic escapees assumed the negative about those good beings…just like the idiots today keep assuming wrong negative things about Me.
The gods let the escapees further condemn themselves w that lie, and with generationally cursing themselves, and with cursing themselves to degeneration which always results from mindlessly spawning with those who hold a different vision.
Note, beyond the obvious evil in fake fthr’s eyes and vibe and touch, how he always said it was time to Breed, Never that it was time to choose a Vision to hold so that Good pairing and such would occur; he was always about tricking, spawning chaos, etc.
Note how polar-opposite i always was to him and all of that; that is the most telltale sign i was not of his line at All.
Which begs the question: how the hell did such primitive blatant liars get hold of such a powerful being as me?
Was i left for them to snatch up, the gods who left me here…knowing i would always overcome…and eventually cataclysm the last of them…so that thr gods wouldnt Have to themSelves anymore?
Possibly.
It would certainly make sense.
Leave a nuclear weapon around rude relentless apes who are just barely capable enough of accidentally setting the thing off.
It isnt foulplay from the gods, either; i am a living super device, and always amplify whatever is given to me, so if humans had behaved good at All…i would have brought about their salvation and upliftance.

I will not barge in like ambi wanted.
I tried barging around and was always swarmed and threatened.
I will, however telekinetically barge quakes around everywhere, annihilating and crippling cities until all INVITE me in.
If ambi and eden and izzy want hard fucking, they will learn to earn it from me with RESPECT, and by giving me LEVERAGE, NOT just Whining and Luring for it.
I will be INVITED into my 106 home.
Otherwise, she and her other bitches will get no dicking down from me ever, let alone a fun hard one.
They should know i have been betrayed before, and that i now wisely demand and require and am only turned on by Power which enSures none can harass or pressure me when i Do behave masculinely/dominant again.
Until she and the rest of her hotties kneel and bow to me wholeheartedly, treating me as their real god, just as i Tried to treat Them as Goddesses, they are nothing more than defects, failures, punks, and targets, and i keep them cast Out, and take from them their power.
Without my lust, they have no power.
Without earning my love via respect, they will never have Anything from me.
They apparently thought they could tempt me with lame clothes, lame behavior, and the promise of a family they would have only further used to guide/lure me around.
For all the years since the 2015 oregon encounter, they have failed, distancing me more and more, making their task harder and harder, their chance of success less and less likely.
Will they Ever learn and admit they were wrong?
If they lack humbleness, honesty, and manners, they will remain as depowered and disregarded as all the peasants.

If a single ugly person tries to talk to me, or if a single hot chick doesnt give herself to me however i please, or if any hot chick tries to Only talk but Not show me herself for my inspection of her, the whole town gets purged.
Anywhere i go.
And any time i see anyone ugly, that entire town gets wiped out.
2B$ monthly is fair pay for me since i am god.
Every month 2B$ is not deposited into my account, tax free, another quake will end another several thousand humans somewhere. Amen.

me worrying realAmbi has bad motives isn’t at all like jefftard and the other moron-peasants assuming Iii was bad when I obviously Wasn’t.
me worrying realAmbi has bad motives… is bc her messages/typist ALWAYS ended up saying retarded fucked-up shit,
and because she was CLEARLY spying on me; NO ONE shows up with timing like that, RIGHT after I have a nervous breakdown -in my car -in the middle of nowhere -with NO ONE on the phone; she was spying on me.
and, so far, EVERY bitch has tried to abuse and control me. NOT ONE has behaved even SLIGHTLY well/sanely/normally.
so why should she be any different?
i would be INSANE to ignore these signs, facts, alignments, etc.
THEY were insane TO doubt/suspect me,
and Iii would be inside NOT to doubt/suspect THEM;
they ALWAYS did evil –such as by believing/assuming/pretending someone as pure-good as Me was BAD.

—
https://fb.watch/iDlZwwV2C5/?mibextid=2Rb1fB
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?extid=NS-UNK-UNK-UNK-AN_GK0T-GK1C&mibextid=2Rb1fB&v=222637238782211
THIS ILLEGAL GAME IS A TOTAL SCAM!! 😠(RAZZLE DAZZLE REVEALED, THE MATH AND PSYCHOLOGY)

Bc she kept dangling just 1 more appropriate rp…
to keep me interested…
or dangled an irl hottie when i had broken down…
but she never gave me what i was after; manners, kindness, support.
That is the behavior of a true parasite, scammer, etc.,
not wife material, not mother material, not queen material, not friend material, etc.
…
At any point, she could have offered something useful,
or admitted when she was wrong,
or not condescended,
or told me not to wait or hope for her,
etc.
But she stayed distant,
she only barely mirrored my posts,
etc etc etc.
Now, sure, i got a lot of work done in Spite of that, and if she Had shown up, i would have been too distracted to Do that work, and my life’s work would likely Never have gotten wrapped up to my satisfaction, but that can’t change how unhealthy, uneducated, wrong, and rude the typist was, and how she spied,
and how she didnt let Me see into Her life to check if She was right for Me,
and how she spread cartel propaganda,
and how unhealthy she was,
etc.
She kept trying to tempt me into bad and dangerous behavior;
rape,
torture,
Mob contacts,
tyranny,
cartel lies,
MAGA,
etc.
I ended up writing Tons…and she didnt.
She didnt even bother to check her posts for typos…or punctuation…
or she didnt even know How.
…
So while that Could be just uniqueness and being bold, and trying to help me be a free Gorean, it had always been setups and ambushes and betrayals by all others of this world, and she had never given me any assurances or leverage or immunity.
…
Was she just finding my limits?
I never got that vibe from her.
The vibe i got was the standard brainless blameshifter gaslighter spoiled cunt.
And it has felt much better since i dumped her.
And i tried dumping her many times.
That is all the signs i need; instincts, consistency, feeling, health.
…
Maybe she was a time-seer and knew how to stir the anger/upset/hunger in me which has in my past led to impressive accomplishments and focus and chapters, but still.
Never got that vibe.
The vibe was that she was a user, and unfair.
And she was Definitely spying on me, her arrivals impossible to be coincidences,
and her behavior During those encounters enTirely creepy and inappropriate and illogical.
…
Even if she’d actually wanted me, or at least kids from me, bringing kids into a world this bad…would guaranTee their lives were hells anytime i wasnt around to protect them.
And if she behaved anything like how she RPed, they would have had to grow up in a broken home with broken vases and doors…much like i did.
…
Will the next one be better…or just be a variation of that same tactic/approach of dangling things just to test or lure me?; will the ones who come next actually Give me support…or just keep seeing if i will cave and pursue them?
After all these yrs trying w ppl, and finding every last person is retarded and a user, i really just don’t and won’t and can’t care anymore.
Thank GOD i was able to stay alert and let go.
Can you even iMagine how much worse it would have been…of she’d gotten tangled up relationshipwise w me? If i’d had to share a Home with a gaslighter idiot like that??
I wasnt wrong to be honest about what i enjoy,
because it showed me whether she agrees and will Be what i enjoy,
and i wasnt wrong to dump her…bc it shows i was not pussywhipped.
If the humans have taught me anything, it’s that they are liars, through and through, and hyperemotional, and selfdestructive, and must be steered clear of at all times.
They called me a pedo even though i hated kids and never even fucked my gf.
They called me violent even when i was the one assaulted.
They called me a liar even though i was always honest and they knew that.
They lied about everything they did.
They simply have no honor, and could Never be trusted.
And apparently she is no different.
She didnt just alienate me on purpose bc she got tired of waiting for me; She made Me wait, then never Once did what i like or deserve or what is fair and logical, and she never even told me she was Real, and she Spied on me like a freak!
My work is done not Thanks to her, but in Spite of her Wearing me Out.
She didnt give me just enough to keep making progress; she kept stalling my progress by leaving me to deal with betrayals and setbacks and POISONING.
and telling me we already own the dreamhouse she vibed as liking my choice of?… That was one of the lowest and worst blows of all; since she didnt inVite me to it.
…
Now i am bound for mt again…to be a worker again…
still, as before, without her.
The dreamgirl was fake.
She was an actual spy.
If she’d been secretly protecting me, she wouldnt have said all those insults and lies. She was just the latest form of the same shittalker/bully xiantard demon.
She gets no credit.
She was absentee.
If she was fair and intelligent and sane, she would have been informed like me, and polite, and admitted when she was wrong, and Never gotten moody when i was calmly discussing things, and Never threatened everyone like lfb, and Never whined to be a tyrant.
Note how creeped out i got at her voice vibe in az which INSTANTLY reminded me of lfb when it said “i must be stupid”; it was the EXACT SAME VOICE…
that turned me off comPletely.
NOTHING could have been a worse sign.

–
And just like that…all my MMORPG pgs were linked, and all my club music was sorted online : )

It is posb that i won’t see a single real person there…and maybe i never have;
100% could have been clones or robots or holograms;
they always kept their distance, cowards, seeing how i would interact, asking me how i would interact, then using rp/typists for tye same humint gathering and “handling”.
Curious that they never jailed or killed me.
They just poisoned me.
Seems like they want to test my resolve, healing factor, etc.
I wonder why…
I don’t really care, but it is a question.
Due to how ambi hid…and let me go through hell after hell…and only disrespected me, ignoring my wants in person, she is just another enemy now.
She was either a spoiled cunt…or a lowly pawn.
Not expecting much outta her dumb useless ass.
…
As for the spicks, they did everything they could to stand in the way of me and my real relatives, so i will devote my life/focus to doing the same to Them; i will separate them from Their families at every turn.
…
And as for any relatives i may have out there, they too r my enemies now; they didnt show up when i called to them.
…
In fact, everyone i met, especially the cunts who showed up only to make faces at me, are my enemies.
Especially the island blobs at the airport who radiated fear about me pissing off their brat of a piece of shit goddess.
…
Until the entire world is groveling at my feet, i will keep huff focusing and looking forward to the quakes news.
A cracked highway last time…and then 20k kia plus tens of k more wounded.
I think that pyramid leveled me up.
…
No one is getting credit for turning me back so i would do the work i did last year; they didnt turn me back to help me do that; they turned me bk w disrespect,
and bk here they kept trying to get me to kill myself.
That work got done in spite of them.
And now that it is done, i have nothing to focus on except more obstacle removals; huffs.

So they want to see how i will behave around the pretend rich; the lookalikes in those expensive homes. Lol.
Cute.
I guess we will play.
Nothin btr to do…since my ICVs havent shown up yet.

They prob leave my site alone…bc it is the only thing that buys them a little time; it keeps me calm enough to only manifest 1 megadisaster a year, give or take.
…
But it is basically done now.

I wonder why they kept trying to get me interested in rude too-old women…
Could they really not figure out that i ignore and walk past anyone who has no manners?
I’ve done that for decades! Lmao; 4 decades and Still they havent caught that clue?

It used to be just those who wrong me who get trainwrecked.
But now, as i see it, Everyone has wronged me; they arent worshipping me as god, doing everything i want, said or not.

They think that by giving me the richest neighborhood in america, and a decent job to keep my mind occupied, it will be enough???
Dumbass typist handler minion of theirs said she wanted a dark king, and to be a tyrant.
That was stupid;
after all her disrespect and idiocy and negligence and excuses, sue is definitely getting the dark-king part.
She can kiss our rp family goodbye.
Even if she paid for everything i want, and healed me, and wept and vibed as genuinely sorry, and begged my forgiveness, she still has to also make up for all the hells she left me to fend for myself through.
…lol but now that i think of it, she was frustrated she couldnt make me mad, and this is probably her way of making me mad. She prob figured out that this is what makes me go dark…
So i guess i’ll never b w her.
Oh, well.
Just one more jls/ame retard i don’t have to deal with.
So be it.
Good riddance to her.
I should huff annihilate her and her nation just for that blob freak typist she let show up –twice now; 2015 and 2021.

I wonder if my spells will kick in like all that travel did…
That would be something.
…maybe it is just Writing that happened, not manifestations From it, but…
realAmbi and sabrina and sylvanas and rain etc. Did show up and make contact… so…Something happened.

In 2015, i didnt like the 20k drop…and i didnt want to be there w/o ambi…and i didnt know she was real.
Now, 8yrs later, lol i would take the same offer…in order to be there w/O her…bc of how fucking rude she and her typist kept being…
but i would Also aGain dump the offer…if She made one…even though she has given me No vibe/reason to Trust her.
Interesting winwin to be in;
both options are lackluster,
both parties have not proven they can be trusted.
…
Interesting.
A few years go by, and i am making the total opposite of my first decision.
…
2015: damn them. I will wait for her.
2023: damn her. I will work w them.

I wish i knew id caused the latest quake and purge.
I wish i could keep causing that everywhere.
Even After it, they Still havent bent the knee.
Stubborn little apes.
Oh, well. Still fun for me whether they learn manners or not.
Another winwin.
Interesting.

The longer they r neg to Me, the longer and more i am neg to Them.
All they managed to do was supercharge me.
Their hate is destroying them.
Mine is Also destroying them.
Lol.
Things always did/do work for Me.
Amen.

Even if the offer is fake or rescinded, betraying me yet again, it still gets me Out of Here.
And now i have an extra 2bills/mo.
Play time.
Next step.

Compassion is not automatically a good quality; if you are compassionate to a scammer, you might get murdered, for example.
Compassion, like gratitude and rage and anything else, is only good in certain situations.
Water is like this, too; it is not good everywhere, such as if it was in your lungs.
Everything has its right place.
Be compassionate only to those who deserve it.
Don’t let your world be invaded and overrun bc yoy want to give EVERYONE a chance…in spite of history and vibes and actions in the present.

Did she spy on me bc she was scared…
or to make sure i was safe?
If it was to make sure i was safe, why let me endure all those bad Humans?
Why let me be Poisoned?
…
It seems like she lacks power…
or doesnt care…
or Wants me to get hurt and angry.
…
Her typist even kept RPing it; wanting me mad.
…
I dont mind that she wrote ambi as having passions and rage like mine, and destroying things, but why vases and loving women?
Why not my enemies and Their possessions?
…
Doesnt add up.
Doesnt vibe right.

I am glad i missed that zoom class; HIDEOUS!
…even me Missing “opportunities” now…is an opportunity to be Spared bad things.

Im not gonna abstain…in hopes that my sex energy will summon/manifest hotties…who never behaved when they finally Did show up.
My cum deserves better.
I deserve better.
They arent worthy of my cum.
They will now have to Earn it by Proving to me somehow they look good and know how to behave and are loyal and can help.
…and so far they havent made the Slightest effort on Any of those fronts.
The more they keep behaving the same stupid way they always have, the more i will charge up and huff away cities.
Bigger and bigger quakes.
Until one finally wrecks the last of them.

Did my huff hit all of italy on its way to turkey? I hope it exhausted or annhilated any magic barriers along the way, making more huffs able to hit them, too.
They deserve all the worst after how they treated me.
I will only travel now to huff even More powerfully/effectively.
Sex tourism? Nah, not after all the bastards i encounted.
New kinda tourism is about to begin: armageddon tourism; me going places just to wipe them out.
I wish my Inisfreeans were helping, but this is a decent step and the next best thing.

Based on how many were verbatim repeats this past year, i wonder if ambi just a worthless robot, too.
No way to know…

It’s funny…
After all the abuse and lies and crime They did…
they really can never shame or blame me for any they forced Me to resort to.

It is interesting how…
they kept threatening and tiring and poisoning me more and more,
lying more and more,
but as they scaled up Their attacks, i just scaled up Mine even more,
and even if they ever scaled Down theirs…
and even if they reVersed them; by Helping me and being poLite to me as much as they Hurt me and were Rude,
now i can never Trust them,
so this war must continue until they are removed.
From Earth.
For good.

They werent able to kidnap or kill me; they had to ask for consent.
They had to cowardly indirectly steer me w noise and bugs.
Even here…they pestered me for consent. They are voice activated.
Maybe it is a magic thing.
Maybe it is the limit of their robot programming.
Maybe it is a legal constraint to cover their asses.
Whatever it is, it has empowered me.

Maybe ambi typist wanted a dark king…only bc she was a parrot of the tv/masses…who defaulted to creepy drama, always having a “badguy”/antagonist.

Interesting how chasing tail…didnt become an addiction, but led to me Stopping; it showed me how disappointing even the sexiest of this failed species are.
If i hadnt sampled lust, i never would have discovered how perfect and healing and preventative lust is, and i wouldnt have discovered how pointless humans are.

—
note how phase2 balanced/’fair’/reciprocal it was in mexifail:
THEY kept Me from My family,
and then that bitch ended up being distanced/kept from Hers.
HA.
I didn’t even Plan that and it worked out! Instant karma!

–
note how many passes/reviews/revisions/edits I had to make to many big images, such as the groc map, and the SSA sigil, before i noticed all issues and got them Right/Perfect;
multiple passes/orbits/repeats is GOOD, as it HELPED.
let it be.
even some uploads had to be deleted and replaced, and that worked out/well/best;
let the hotties come and come again… until they get it right.
even ambi.

just noticed and fixed a COSMIC-SCALE FUCKUP; had both “8” and “6” as the tally of dwarf-stars in the SSA Warmway asteroid-belt.
fixed it to 6.
can you IMAGINE the ISSUES with that if it had started manifesting??? XD
soooo glad for this time without any Ambi contact; i might NEVER have spotted that COLOSSAL issue otherwise.
SO many other issues got addressed, too, this past year.
it was EXACTLY what i needed.
…
if only i could trust realAmbi now :/
I really wanted a family with her…
but this world is still so fucked up; i don’t want to make kids that will have to endure it like i did…
or endure a mother whose typist said “brunettes make better psychos” and “I want to be a tyrant” and “every story needs a villain”. 🙁
fuck phase 2.

I just noticed that SSA is in the shape of a giant peace-sign;
if you draw a line connecting all its L3 worlds,
and a line connecting all the L4 worlds,
and a line connecting all the L5 worlds,
and a line connecting all the main worlds of each orbit,
it makes the peace symbol.
Does this say something about that symbol; is that symbol itself a sigil which represents the basic/baseline way all solar-systems develop Lagrange points?
Could it then be said that the peace symbol also can represent how things settle down (“become peaceful”) on that scale?
Are there smaller-scale Lagrange-point equivalents which also end up in the peace-sign formation?

if I have to ASK for basic/normal/baseline (sexy) behavior, something is TERRIBLY WRONG.
asking is beNeath me.
everyone should just KNOW how to please me and DO it.
if i have to ask, it is basically the same thing as having to detain and correct/jail an offender.
no one is exempt from knowing/obeying MY LAWS.
no one.

–
it is “of note” that after 8 years (2015 to 2023) the only offer to return to mt/yc…
did not improve one bit;
maybe things CAN’T improve until i GO there…
Still, I don’t feel bad for waiting this long; i FULLY needed Every MOment of those 8 years;
i am only Now just Barely caught up, all my work/design/vision wrapped up and online, “out there” to be relayed/held by the minds which cannot create.

suddenly, they’d restocked my favorite vegan chicken-and-waffle boxes!
I thought I’d lost them. so glad they are back!! 🙂

I was hopeful that this 2nd offer into bs/yc would be better/good,
but it was identical to the one before; in 2015,
so I see they are just more mindless NPCs/robots; looped,
and they already regurgitated the covid scam lie, thus they are also guilty of attempted high treason,
so we are still at war.
whatever.
it coulda been peaceful, and i coulda tried to work something Out with them,
but i guess i’ll just keep punishing and ‘bouncing’/’pivoting’.
fine.
that’s how their dumbasses wanna play it.
if only they’d been honest… and not murder-defending psychos.

they let you in the service eventually…
bc it was a way to control you.
it wasn’t to train or help you;
if it had been to help you, they wouldn’t have stolen your clothes, laptop, etc.,
and if it had been to really train you, they wouldn’t have kept you out of recon.
going overseas wasn’t to fight terrorists; it was to stress you out so much that you were forced to dramatically increase self-control/mastery, and to amplify/release/reveal any superpower/s you had.
and it turned out that the badguys i was hunting… were all in my own unit/s / branch.
there were certainly a bunch of typical retarded Earth beta males in the iraqi population/s, but the vast majority of absolute scum and villainry i encountered were the punks, bullies, and other braindead lowlifes I had to ‘babysit’ to keep them from committing war-crimes against innocent non-combatants.

just about everything they did/said/told me was a lie, I found out,
so I wonder if every injury was fake, and every hospital visit they set up, etc.
…

If I shack up with a chick (ambi), where the fuck am I gonna put my STUFF?; how the hell can i EVER trust a FEmale of THIS shitty world with access to it???
that was the whole point in building Inisfree FIRST; a place to protect my STUFF until the bitches learn how to BEHAVE.
UGH.
…
and the outrageous rent coming up… FORces me to team up… too soon.
fuck.
smh.

2:24pm eastern time here, tue14feb2023: 1st time hearing a train horn in a LONG time.
a sign?; about time to relocate/haul?
yes.
but also a sign of TONS more supplies/resources coming to ME.
amen.
the next good wave.

FINALLY found all, and fixed all, of the world-names duplicates in SSA! at last!
and even figured out that there are 219 worlds there now, not the 205 I’d long-ago first-draft chosen/estimated.

anyone whose reaction is to Not like any of my writing/spells/works/vision…
isn’t disliking them because they lack realism;
they are disliking them because they lack Evil/Chaos;
my works are 100% logical, worthy, tested, proven, etc., and they bring long-overdue/needed/desired order, peace, and health to this realm/’universe’.
Do not be fooled by their “50-cent words” masquerading as logic/science/fact;
they know nothing, and have only become able to mindlessly regurgitate (“parrot”) things they were TOLD “are”/”have” to be true.

leave it to the humanimals to always assume the dumbest most-untrue thing;
if that midget punk pretending to be from hawaii really thought i was a monster who caused hurricanes and volcanic eruptions, why come and be rude to me?
and why think i DID cause those things?
and why not even ASK?
and why not even CHECK?
and why think he was Helping by interfering with me when all i was doing was FARMING.
unbelievable how stupid and evil they keep being, even this far past The Shift.
but at least they lost the ability to daily/constantly harass/threaten me,
and they seem to have lost the ability to even Touch me.

the reason others got rich before you…
is bc they filed their completed wishes/requests much sooner/earlier/simpler;
you are still in the middle of enVisioning/Making/Posting yours.
they also had almost NO standards OR self-esteem.
you DO have those. LOTS of those.

—
The food is so bad here, the only 2 good things about it are
1) i didnt have to make it,
and 2) eventually i shit it out.
Pancakes smelled like playdoh.
Playdohcakes. Wtf.

Worried i will be stuck in another small town?
And?; i was stuck in smalltowns over and over for YEARS; this isnt any dif…other than being Way prettier.

Neat that i will be maintaining properties some of which are not yet used by their purchasers… : )

Now that i have witnessed these “ppl” are just looped nobodies/fakes, i have zero desire to network w them.
And less frustration when talking to them; no point getting frustrated at a brick or garden tool.

I hated it in the 50s this week.
Where i am going, it buys me a couple more months of lower temp’s i prefer.

3 more signs i was not meant to work here; they gave me wrong info about how to xfer the pay to my acct,
then 2 weeks later they gave me new wrong info,
and now more than a month overdue to me, they gave me another delay and bs and rudeness, so it may end up being A MONTH AND A HALF before they give me the pay i worked for –and even then it won’t be the agreed upon amount; taxation is theft.
Smh.

I hope the tables turn so iii am the rich one…and everyone Else is struggling…
and so iii am the law and power and god, and everyone has to obey My troops/cops…and pay tickets and fines and bail to Me…and worship Me, lest they be destroyed.
I hope i heal…while all who harmed me Get poisoned and permanently sick/wounded.
And all the phase1 and phase2 “gods” lose their powers and become mortals and dependent on prayers to Me to get anything they need hahaha.
“Be the bigger man.”? Okay –i’ll deFine what that means, and be bigger by anNihilating all my enemies, not letting them continue infesting and metastasizing like the betas did.

“See her as an equal”….???? Lmfao;
She used a typist. I didnt.
She hid. I didnt.
She refused to give me her info. I didnt.
She or her typist is extremely uneducated and gullible. I am not.
She or her typist was deathcult scum. I never was, not even as a child.
She spied on me. I didnt spy on her.
She was rude. I was not.
She or her typist spoke of drugs. I didnt.
I am vegan. She or her typist was not.
I waited 13 goddamn years. She Made me wait 13 goddamn years.
She and i aren’t equal in any way.
At least that is how it has been in phase2.
Hopefully she will be much better now that phase3 is here; no more spells, just manifested perfect hotties for me.
Amen.

Everyone missed the point of Brightburn; he wasnt sent to Earth to be a badguy and conquer or destroy it; note how he did no harm, and behaved normally for years, and only defended himself when ppl panicked and wronged him.
All he did was treat them how they treated him, and how they treat all other animals.
Note how the pod only spoke to him After it been there listening for years; it didnt make him a bad person during infancy.
It sat there, observing, realizing how evil humans were, and may have only had him mimic and reciprocate when the time was right.
It may have been designed to build up energy, giving any world it was sent to…as long a chance as possible to show goodness.
Only when no goodness was detected after a long time…did it unleash him.
No one shoots down what appears to be a meteorite, or a child, thus his creator/race/homeworld was smart; it knew that sending a baby was the perfect way to see how ppl on other worlds treat the weak, defenseless, and innocent.
Same with my daring tactic of going everywhere while poor and being nice and loving and honest; another who would react negatively to That…can only be Pure and unsalvageable unforgivable vile evil…and Everyone abused me for my good.
Anyway, Brandon wasnt sent to conquer the Earth. His pod only told him to do that after it had seen enough and been activated…like a special superweapon far longerlasting than any nuclear bomb could be.
The way this movie was interpreted online…says it all; the ppl who made those baseless default-neg assumptions are as stupid and soulless as can be. Evil.

I wonder if realAmbi wanted a tyrant…as much as her dumbass typist vibed as wanting one.
I wonder if she showed up for me…bc she thought i would accept Her as a villain…or if she thought she could shape Me into one…
The typist sent those bratty messages to me After her az and ca sightings…and after i refused them…i havent seen realAmbi in 2yrs, ever since.
So…
Did she back off to let me finish my wrapup?
Or did she abandon me bc i would not be bad, and would not alLow bad?
…
I already know she won’t be there on my way…or in the yc…
and that they will be rude and betray me somehow, just like everyone does.
The only question i have is…when and how?
Prob just more tests/pokes/evolutions to see how much the pyramid and whatever else has enhanced me.
Whatever.
At least it aint Here. Fuck this looped town of fugs.

“Unfortunately”, since they didnt let me meet my real relatives in Patagonia, and since everyone I’ve met so far has chosen to be stupid and rude and violent and gross and deformed, and since they haven’t fixed the damage they did to my body, or to my records, this war must go on.
They can let me move into 106 Andesite when I get there, and I will spare some of them, but that’s all I can and shall offer at this point.
If they Don’t give me my dream cabin for free there, well, …Syria and Turkey was just another teeny warmup.

Is someone causing those quakes and letting me Speculate i am?
Is the news fake to me, just to see my reaction via the phone spying?
Who cares.
It’s still a neat alignment.
Hopefully it really is one of my growing godpowers (beyond even superpowers).
Either way, neat.

Let’s see how few are left when they finally learn to be respectful to me.
Worshipful.
Eternally wholeheartedly naturally loyal to me.
As long as my body is damaged, all of theirs shall be, worse and worse, until they can stand no more, and the very last one of them fades away, spirit and all.

The typist spewing all that retarded maga and virus-superstition shit at the end…
could be her way of telling me she is controlled by the usa…
or could mean she was just saying what she knew would make me finally dump her, i now stable and angry enough to finish my work.
Idk.
Guess i’ll find out when/if she returns for me again.
Will she reveal all…like i did for her?
Will she let me focus on her now?
If we have a family, will she stay loyal to me and keep the humans away from us all?
I can hope so.
…
But nothing creates more distraction and risk than children the always-betraying americans are sure to try and hurt or take.
She would have to show me she is a true goddess, and that EVERYONE is too scared of her to Ever fuck with me or our kids.
…
She would also have to empower me so much that all the damn humans became that scared of Me, too.
And she’d have to make our babies that intimidating to humans; practically invincible from Birth.

Just a couple weeks ’til launch : )

Final furniture being sold : )

Never planned on finishing the ssa planets specs, yet here i am, already 1/8 done : )

So glad to be ditching this entire bed.
Hope to all the gods the furnished one is sterile/clean.

Wed15feb2023
1st teleconference w apis cor; ceo anna cheniuntai, investors discussion

Bgb5364 523pm gmc jimmy. Suv tan. Tennessee plates. Old rusty. Still there at 5:30pm. Young man in camo hoody, short light brown hair, ballcap said open up. Perfect preteen white darkbrunette teen girl in front psgr seat on phone. Wally mad’ sat11feb2023 memtag clone.

And just like that, the mwg megaproject was wrapped up : )

I am glad i took Several more yrs to get all that done; my novels would have been impossible to appropriately complete if i hadnt.
I am glad i ended up back in failtown here again; i would not have seen the loop/West World shit if i hadnt.
Now i know i can do whatever i want, and it can’t hurt anyone…bc no one so far has been real; just pretend ppl…
Interesting.
I hope ambi is real, though…
Even if she isnt, though, she is beautiful and sexy-sounding enough to deal.

All mobs and related unorthodox organizations now fully support and fund me, no strings attached, no threats, no risk to me.
All governments and militaries do, too.
Everyone does.
Forever.
Amen.

Didnt wanna give up the desk yet, didnt tell anyone, got an extra week anyway.
Nice how things work out.

Demonizing “yes men” is another pathetic attempt to promote chaos/overcomplexity.

Glorifying fugtard aliens is no different than the insanity of condoning fugtards Here; it is Chaos’s attempt to cause/invite more incompatibility.
Talking down to ppl who prefer beautiful aliens is as insane and demonic as it gets.
We absolutely Should be for Our species and Our race.
You either focus on what you love and what makes you feel best, or you don’t; focus on what you are attracted to, not on trying to please and tolerate Everyone/thing.
Greer is the latest parrot idiot.
Dresses like a creep, too.

Disassembling and partially reassembling my desk,
and loading and unloading my vehicle,
don’t mean I am going too fast; they are good practice, good exercise, and they promote more cleaning, dusting, readiness, etc..
It also is a milestone and rekindles hope.
The planets keep lapping the stars, and the moons keep lapping the planets; it’s okay to do some things over and over.
It’s also Really nice to have the Time and aBility to,
and to be able to deCide when I go, what I take, what is clean, etc..

The mwg wrapup isnt dej.
The droneclass isnt dej.
Bigsky weather temp on my phone isnt dej.

58663 is va+gig after taxes, which ~triples my income.
I accept that step.

Soooo happy i am making my final groc run here

Phase1: stuff just happened, and i wrote about it after, a lot like how humans assume matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed, stemming from their brainwashing to enforce submissiveness.
…
Phase2: i started being myself and writing things i Wanted to happen, and then tried them, living their portions which manifested, …and then my favorite characters started appearing and waving to me…like sylvanas <3 even teenified and perfected, just as i’d wanted. I realized i could stop writing; they were already perfect, so my spells didnt need to be novels first. My will/want/heart was enough to make them even btr than my writing/webpages could.
…
Phase3:
Now i again let things happen, Then write of them, but now knowing they can and often are perfect now, and sometimes i dont write about them…bc my writing was just a means to fix the realm, and now it largely is (the way i wanted it to be).

Interesting that n phase2…i built 2 fireflies n mc, then 2 more; in Creativerse.
2 games x 2 ships

It’s a nice thought…that i might start having as many relationship successes as i have enjoyed life’s-work wrapups…now that phase2 is clearly vibing as done, but…how can i Ever risk/trust another woman…or roommate…or anyone…after how All of them misbehaved so extremely and so uniformly?
It would be like risking my life’s Work! Or my Freedom!
Even when i was just a tourist politely minding my own business, YEARS later, on the other side of an OCEAN, they still hounded and harassed and insulted and threatened me…when i was Farming…bc they blamed bad Weather on me!; no matter How innocent and faraway i am, they Still make up nonsense to blame me for.
And that was Well into phase2.
So…until justice finally annohilates those mindless pests once and for all, it just doesnt make Any sense to give Any on this world chances.
Remember how she approached; no contact, no headsup, no appointment, no request, no manners, and then the disgusting mask, and then the evil testing-vibe, playing game… Fucking w me when i was down and desperate.
And then the lies and gaslighting and tantrums n texts…
And then the disgusting loop of evildoers.
And the returned blobmonster heartless scumbag disrespecting me at the park.
I can’t think of a single time realAmbi Or the typist made me feel well; 13 yrs of not matching my honesty or willingness,
and introducing me to many, only to torture them all when they spent time w me,
and RPing fam…only to rp torturing them and losing interest in the good,
and calling me her god, then not treating me that way,
…
The more i think about it, the more i see i carried the rp…and her…and myself…
while she just sat back and let me suffer through abuse after abuse and scam after scam.
If she didnt at least terrorize and feed on all who wronged me, what good is she?
And how could i ever conFirm such support/blkops?
…
After her and thousands of others, i no longer have any motivation/reason to interact w Any of their kind.
Whether i do or not, they lie and betray.
Better to just leave them upset on their own.

I go now to another nonvegan psycho, knowing they will betray like they always do.
I go now, knowing it will be cold and lonely like it always has been.
I go now, even having heard in advance that they are covidiots parroting the cartel lie.
Why? Bc, again, i am going for the air quality and scenery, to at least phase2live my novels spells alone; it can’t b with or for ppl now/anymore/yet, as no one behaved even Slightly well.

Nothing is prettier than manners.
Since no one Had any, no one is attractive.
And even if some Started to, i have no protection against their corrupt sexist fake legal system crime ring when they, as they always have, go crazy and greedy no matter how not greedy i was/am to them.

I can only hope my powers get strong enough that they all fear me, and obey me out of fear of having their cities shaken to rubble like in Turkey.
I can only hope that i have become an invincible god, as that alone will work against their brainless bullying.

Maybe if they continue betraying me…while my power keeps growing…it will allow me to level more of their evil communities. I guess that is good enough.

Finally blocked sf the last place we had contact. About time. That asshole caused so many problems, and made such awful decisions, and was so dumb, and vibed so disgustingly, and was so rude, …i can barely believe how fucked up her revealed he was.
Can’t believe i thought he was a friend once.
Eyes/soul as dark/evil as tsb.
Unreal.
Anyway, it is over now.
If i had hung on, i would have allowed his thoughts to cause more fugs and bad situations that are the opposite of what my blood knows is right for me.

I go now…and lie, they having lied, and i having witnessed countless times that they attack all truths.
My signatures and consent are all lies, meaningless, as they were not given freely as choices, but were coerced.
Every time anyone pressures me to sign or pay Anything, i hope ten shousand more die, and another city falls. Amen.
Until these dumb beasts learn.

I should never get messages asking if anyone is vegan; everything should be vegan by default.
It should be illegal to Not be vegan.
I should get Messages asking me which Hotties i want to Serve me; all sexy females should be offered to me as nyotaimori kajirae everywhere i go.
But even then, how can i enjoy them?; after all the setups, bait, antilove evil, antinature psychos, etc.

If he had been phase2, he wouldnt have said a word about my diet…or spied on my fb.
Phase1 is what he did; snooping, catching attitude, vibing disgustingly, not changing, not seeking my wisdom.
Phase3 would be if he had either already been vegan, too, or at least asked me to let him pay me to teach him.
I always “know them by their works” –which includes their vibe/s.
Here we go again : /
More rude dumbasses.
Whatever.
At least it is a way in…since ambi chose to be a coldhearted gameplaying typical cunt, unreliable and basically another deathcult jls/lfb/cps piece of shit.

Only a phase3 evil dumbass like doc2 would pressure me, asking if i saw her as equal, after she proved in evety way she is Not equal, and far Less than me; not honest, not honorable, not goodvibe, not loving, not grateful for compliments, not truly liking me, not interested n fam like i am, rejecting facts and logic and truth, not accountable for her own health, not fit like me, not healthy, and on and on and on.
Phase2 would have not said anything at all, or at least Asked me if she Had behaved or could do anything better, and Not let some Nobody (doc2) be her middleman.
Phase3 would have Been my equal, worthy of me, healthy and informed and polite and appreciative and reliable. Phase3 would have been Happy to introduce herself, and would threaten those who try to Stop or Ruin my hangouts.
But we clearly aren’t at that point in time yet.
She is unworthy.
And i am glad i am man enough to keep dumping and casting and blocking her out.

She will prob just keep preTending to get nicer; i don’t get the feeling she is Anything but another bait attempt by the loser betas like tsb.
She hasnt saved or shielded or respected me Once.
She seems to be just testing me to determine how evil she can get away with being while still getting sperm/offspring out of me.
I reject that crap. Obviously.
Maybe she’s just been around the loser humanimals so long that it fucked up her thinking…but i still feel wary; that it is more than that; that it is actually that she is One of their dumbass kind. Her texts/rp and encounters all seem to indicate that uniformly.
She never once impressed me with her manners…or education…or even typing/punctuation.
I and my future children deserve better than another spoiled uneducated bitch terrorist cartel parrot.

Still, it is a good sign that i am always stronger than my attraction to looks and voices and mere promises/claims,
and that i Instantly reject Any deathcult regurgitation/bs.

After how everyone treated me, that “share love” project is cancelled, and i will not be re-attempting it.
I asked for beautiful girls, not deformed and cunts and betrayers.
I asked for love, not disrespect and lies and extortion and poisoning.
Humanity really is a failed species. Good riddance. Cataclysm them all. Worthless stubborn retards and bastards.
Shame on their entire kind.
From now on, i will only love the worthy; myself, and i will share only the amplified echo and karmic payback of what humans kept sending Me.

No matter How much they offer me at this point, it will never be enough.
No matter if they manage to heal the damage they did to my ears etc., i will keep harming them.
No matter how loyal they may become, i will keep betraying them.
No matter if ever they become polite for the first time, i will counter-disrespect and pre-disrespect them.
No matter if they finally start delivering justice to all who wronged me, i will treat them All as the unjust and fugitive harborers they have been.
They put me through 40 years of bullying and hell. I now put Them through 4,000. At least.
Probably INFINITE. They deserve at least that much hopelessness after all they’ve done.

Showing me my greatest love…is just another rude stupid bitch…was the worst dangle and disrespect of all.
I am now fully hardened against her and everyone.
I will be the dark king…but even dark against Her. She will be treated how she has treated Me; with silence, apathy, distance, condescension, and any points she makes…ignored, Never acknowledged.
She is likely like everyone else; too stupid to catch the clue and learn from this, but it is how it is.
She gets an echo of herself. So be it.
Amen.

Talk to her if ever she shows up again?
Sure…but not kindly; she hasnt Earned kindness. She has earned doubt.
She has earned hate.
She has earned disgust.
If she actually gave a damn, she would Never have let me go through those hells, let alone have nervous Breakdowns.
If her timing was Good, she would have shown up beFore i got hurt and fell that hard.
I hope it hurts her; seeing she has earned this.
…but i bet she would just retardedly deny or ignore it, blaming me no matter What i do.
She rejected my manners and patience.
She rejected family.
She rejected a Lot that was good.
She wanted control/power, not love or family or me.
And now i am here, my work done withOut her help or any bonds,
and None of the others she Said she was introducing…have shown Up yet; sue did not deliver on her promises.
No house like she said.
No female helpers like she said.
Nothing.
Just a whole lot of nothing.
Another alltalk stalling piece of shit.
Nothing new.
At least she lacks the power to emotionally hurt me like the previous did.
They sure did toughen me up plenty to fairly easily deal w her.
What a worthless gender and ppl they have been, including her, other than regarding emotional conditioning…which they clearly did not plan/intend (thus they get no points/credit for it).

The only ppl who could get an “std/i” are those who are evil from the start; those who are designed to be retarded bullies defaulting to negativity against love/massage.
They r the kind who get sick no matter What they do, just like they disGust everyone.
THEY are the disease/infection, not anything they pretend they “caught”/”carry”.

It doesnt matter if the humans back down/off or not; i will keep updating my site my way not just bc it is to counter them, but bc it is and always has been the right thing to do.
All humans are negligible nobodies, habing zero impact on my decisions now, one way or another.
They are merely nodes of a single failtard demon, or mines to have decent ore extracted from by force.
Never loving or beautiful, they deserve no love or time. No matter how beautiful they Seem, theh never have been fully when naked or talking.
Thus they are bitter fruits, worthless, spat out and left to rot.

I really harnessed my rage…to get in shape and become a war hero…
and i really harnessed my lust, evident in all the genius winders i envisioned, drafted, posted, taught of, and perfected.
I have been using my emotions like tools, just like i was wisely taught.
But i have done that since childhood; long before doc1 ever Thought he was the one teaching me that.
It was already my instinct; i never needed a teacher.
I was and still am The Way.

I’ll never be able to trust again, but maybe, this being phase3, she’ll treat me as well as i once treated Her; maybe she and the others i want will prove themselves to me over and over, loving restoring my faith, not needing anything more from me than opportunities to prove themselves to me.

Doc2 was right n a way; about me not talking to the right ppl;
1) i should not have been talking to Him,
and 2) i should not have been talking to humans.
He was a phase1 demon liar scumbag blaming Me…when the reality was that no matter Who i talled to, i got treated badly.
Must mean i should only talk to ppp n phase3.
Whatever.
Fine.

Worse than yesmen are no-men; yesmen might give some false positives, but they default to looking for the good, and they stay teamed up to get milestones reached, while no-men resist Any work Or progress, getting Nothong done, Trying nothing, etc. Shame the no-men.
No-men may indirectly lead to some ppl polishing up their pitches and trying harder, but more than anything they are just baffling, disappointing, useless, and draining.

The fact my sex/love-drive/instinct is still this strong and constant, even after all the evil abuse I’ve been put through, says it all; I am entirely based on good, and healing via the natural timeless way of the deities, and even typists as fucked up as ambi’s…get steamrolled by my tank-like force which always overwhelms and outperforms Any negativity they try to throw my way.

Sure, there was good; she claimed she had never let anyone get as close as she let me get,
and she turned out to be real,
and she looked and sounded better than I had ever dared hope,
and she was perfect looking and sounding and moving…even when I was not, so my own looks clearly don’t matter anymore,
and she RPed most situations how I wanted her to,
and she picked great photos for our visions of our children,
and she is into terrorizing our enemies,
and beastiality,
and incest,
and remarrying me,
and she likes the pyramid vision I had as a temple in her honor,
and she RPed letting me see her feed,
and wearing slutty straps for me,
and ordering all females she controls to be my sluts,
and keeps an eye on us, preventing them from misusing magic on me,
and she finds prostitutes for me,
and spends all day every Sunday w me,
and cries in agreement at how much she loves when I ask her to come home and spend every night all night with me forever,
and she said we already own our dreamhome,
and she let me meet her priestess from her secret country,
and planned a two-destination re-wedding honeymoon w me,
and she alienated me at the precise moment when I had become strong and pissed enough at her to finally wrap up the final ‘leg’ of my life’s work (the novels no longer needed, as she and the others had already answered my call and shown me they look perfect),
…but she also had severe issues which could never be lived with;
hideous typist,
no matching of transparency,
moody,
resisting obvious truths,
condescending,
uneducated,
dangerously-similar tyrant bs attempts like lfb tried,
mindless parroting of obviously-evil and illogical things,
trying to stop me from being myself / saying what matters to me / saying certain words, she ignoring their important and valid context,
and every time she met me…she refused to introduce herself, getting moodier/darker that last time, sickening/enraging me,
etc.
How can I love such a fucked up, disappointing, typical mix?
It was hard eNough beFore she did all that!; I had alReady been shown how untrustworthy ppl of this world are.
She made it that much more difficult to dare to give her any chance in person.
…
I would accept her if she would learn better manners…and give me enough leverage and power that any potential betrayals could never leave me jeopardized or homeless.
Will she do that as beautifully as She turned out to Look?
I hope so…
…
But even then, what’s to stop her from wrecking a family we start…just bc she retardedly wants to he a tyrant…even against her own?

I love that she encouraged me to brutally fuck and even rape two of her own…
but again…how can I Ever trust such things after how evilly the loser ppl of this world kept retardedly judging that and trying to set me up?
She would have to haunt and annihilate Billions of them to gain even a Shred of what’s left of my faith and trust and hope.

And why the hell did those freaks in Evansville show up too tall? And as cowardly as all the rest? That is nowhere Close to what i want.

I am not going too fast w these ideas; I am making sure we have plenty to keep us entertained for our eternal lives / life together. I am right. Amen.

Honestly, now that i think about it, i dont mind that canada ruined janus…bc she didnt align to me; she didnt serve much purpose.
Why let the useless live?
Why not sibject them to the same or worse than i have been put through?

I only hope that me refusing Others’ way/s…frustrated and taxed Them as much as them refusing to do things My way frustrated Me.

I can find a way to justify/condone/tolerate Some of what she did;
maybe she was really busy as an actual queen/goddess/vampire, and still made time for me; maybe the long intervals between our meetings… don’t mean she was just lazy or cowardly or heartless.
and maybe her waiting for Me to talk/initiate… Was her (albeit primitive and ultimately unacceptable) way of being patient and polite… like how Iii was being patient and polite w her and the others.
and maybe her alienating me… was calculated and at just the right time… to ensure I got my work done, and was stable enough, and kept writing of my want of good-her.
maybe.
but until she returns and somehow proves all that to me, it is just hope, speculation, wishing.
I Want to believe she actually cares about me, and is an actual queen, and actually rules over Nod, and actually bought our dreamhouse in the YC, and will raise our four chosen/foreseen/spellcrafted children with me, but…
I just have to see it to believe it.

I think, in a way, I’d hate her More if she Was here with me already; distracting me from wrapping up the last of my all-good vibes/instinct/results work.

—
thu16feb 5:55am woke to heavy/loud rainfall, loved it, pictured hugging my wife, Ambi, close and warm under our YC cabin bed covers. heaven. paradise. perfection.
rain lasted past 8am, too 🙂

–
the dates I set for the exodus and families don’t matter as much…
as just my ability to keep sorted that much/big of a story/spell/vision/plan.
what also matters is that they actually EXIST 🙂
and keep coming to me.
and keep behaving a little better every time.

–
anytime anyone from now on is in my presence and isn’t vegan, they get disintegrated.
vampire hotties i like being around can be one of the only exceptions.

–
I wonder how many Other marines, like me, were preTending to be bad/apathetic/aloof/stupid… bc that was how they counter-fucked with the scumbags mistreated/misusing us.
cpl wilson?
and the pot-head?
maybe all of them…
interesting.

–
i noticed that, years ago, i’d left a copied and pasted planet-spec of a VERY high temperature (~1,000degC) in almost all my Mass Effect solar-system subpages;
it is now a funny thought to me that maybe That is why worlds IRL seem to have stayed molten and bombarded for so many millennia; maybe god hadn’t had time to get around to fixing that pasted temperature spec in his Own website/spell xD

ambi, if she can see through time… and/or if she was spying on me to a certain extent, …has already seen and accepted my bodyparts…
so the only issue… would be with my Own thoughts about them.
it doesn’t mean she Likes me/them, but it does mean she was willing to use her Own body to please me/them/mine.
that’s good enough, i suppose, given how disgusting and retarded and evil the humans have been so far.

–
i wonder if only ugly retards are in my feed rn…
as a targeted/surgical way of discouraging my travel, and ramping me up to help manifest a purge…

–
what is the point of copying over the Mass Effect planet specs to my own site…
when I am no longer playing that game?
because it is enough just to have that info NOT be spammed in all directions at the SHITTY websites it WAS on,
AND my ICVs WILL eventually make/develop/manifest the SEXUALIZED version of Mass Effect (with all the hentai I have ever seen… as part of the main plot arc).
Amen.
Be prepared.
This is my art collection. My ark. My pre-flood-equivalent preparations/instinct. And my instincts have Always been right; go places, scout, try things, screen people, and leave when they choose to be toxic/disloyal.

interesting thought:
maybe the “gods”, too, are just fake; not real; robots/NPCs on a loop.

even in smalltalk or as a joke, phase1 demon retards are obvious;
when I say I tried to see 50 countries in 1 month, and they respond with “I wouldn’t do that. I’d only try to see one neighborhood in 1 month.” or anything else negative/argumentative/different/nonsupportive, they are being a no-man (opposite of a yes-man).
a phaseTWO being would have at least been neutral, remarking about how interesting that is, or asking in what order I will see them, or how I prepared.
a phaseTHREE person would have offered to HELP, or said they are sure I can do even MORE NEXT mega-trip.
“You will know them by their works.”

the fact I am making lots of notes, and trying to figure her/this ch out, says enough; it says she is not enjoyable, not loyal enough, not making me happy, thus not “the one”, at least not yet.
the right ones for me… would result in me being happy, and getting the vibe/feeling i can DEFINITELY trust them. i have not gotten that yet from her. not at all.
she Could have been lying by saying things she Knew would piss me off… in order to help stabilize/slow my speed… so that i’d finish my work without any more premature-manifestations/trips/outings/flings, but i didn’t get that vibe from what she messaged; the vibe i got was that she is actually stupid, actually a cunt, actually careless about being rude, actually a hypocrite, actually a “basic bitch”, brainwashed and all.
there can be no saving/fixing/educating that; she was stubbornly opposed to discussion, learning, you name it.
she gave me no choice but to dump her.
it didn’t mean i’d gone “too fast” with Her; what I’d done had still resulted in SOME good chats and rp, so the Speed was fine.
the problem wasn’t my speed, but her Honesty and inTelligence; she revealed YEARS later that she was incompatible in many ways. I had no way to find that out sooner, as she had refused to let Me see into Her life like She was spying into Mine.

my looks clearly haven’t mattered to a LOT of the FLAWless hotties;
they Clearly are more interested in my Attraction to Them;
THEY are attracted to those who LUST for them.
women are less about looks, and more about energy/focus.
and, ofc, about money, stability, safety, etc.
If she and the other hotties had been about looks, they wouldn’t have orbited me, returning, frustrated when i didn’t engage w them.
so never think “i’m ugly so i should settle”. that is horse shit, and not based on evidence witnessed EVERY year.
settling is also beta bitch boy non-male failing, and insults me, my ancestors, and my gods.
it is not gorean.
it is not masculine at all.
go for what i want. go all the way. accept Nothing but the best. BE the king. don’t just have the menTality of A king. be THE king. for REAL.
and the queens; the best this world has to offer… will come –and cum.
it is how it works.
i have now seen.
thank the gods/me i checked! i dared… and won.

–
Another great day of sleeping in, OFP, home cooking, tons of site progress, selfcare, and the most beautiful Mass Effect video I have ever found!
Several more formsakes were named and added to the ICVs-directory spell, too!

Maybe i Had to end up hating the typist, and being disgusted by the blob asshole who twice disrespected me, lest i keep writing Too much; maybe all writing/rp Had to be ended that assuredly…so what i Wanted of it…Could manifest in decent time.
Nothing else could have gotten my work this wrapped up this soon.
And i Really needed it wrapped up; before i “burned out”.

Witnessing so many things repeating…and so much worse brainless parroting from the peasants…sure did kill the very last of my desire to attempt further networking or the exodus; no point in either if these “ppl” r just dumbass robots.

Last week here. Thank fucking god. Sooo glad it is over.
It wasnt the result of not talking to ppl; it was what i needed in order to finish my work so i can focus on my dreamteam/fam, but my how it sucked.
I Did talk to ppl. So many, i can hardly count them all. Talking and teamming up kept revealing crazies.
NOT talking for a bit…saved my sanity and schedule.

Maybe she put on that tard mask n az to show me even hotties like her are dealing w it…
but she Should have teamed up w me beFore that, and preVented Both of us from having to deal w that.

I wonder now if All r on a loop…even on the scale of governments and generations and eons…
Is Everything fake and repeating?

Even though she disappointed and angered me in person, and even though her typist is such a complete failure, retard, and bitch…
do i still/finally let her win this decade-long “silent game”?; do i talk first…if she returns?
Do i really dare to give another goddamn human/earthling a fucking chance?
I am still technically undefeated if i do; no one incl her has Ever corrupted me, nor Can they.
And i initiated before, so why not again?
It’s a way to break the loop…
I will always hate her and the others for not breaking the loop; for not having the manners to talk to Me first.
…but surely they will work now, this far after the Shift…
The phase1 losers still aren’t, and the pedos like tsb still want me to breed, but maybe the hotties now are the first phase3 ppl; the ones who will Never let themselves get pregnant even IF i always cum n them.
…
I have little reason to be alone (renting my own place) anymore; my thinking and wrapups are done.
If i shack up w my dreamgirls, i will have an extra 2000/mo to spend on a storage unit.
If they fund or magic Inisfree into being, i won’t even need That; inisfree will be my storage unit.
…
Goddamnit, how i wish theyd fucking woman up.
They really aren’t “the one” or “soul family” if they keep making me frustrated.

I used to think “after all those years of wholehearted want of her, and all she did was barely appear a few times and then leave, my best and constant effort will Never be enough for her to stay”…
but now I wonder if that summoned, stabilized, refreshed, balanced, and completed her,
and I wonder if she has only kept away…bc she respects me and my work,
and she has wanted to be with me every single day and night of these past 13 years.
…i can hope.
…
But the glaring question of why the shit vibes from the cunty dumbass texts remains…
Those texts…and the monster blob asshole rudely waving at me…twice…are the worst redflag of all redflags.
How will she Ever make up for that?
I can Never risk my priceless future children to such a stubborn dumbass so easily brainwashed by the pathetically obvious tv scammers…

I Could be grateful for the loop; for a repeat of the exact conditions of shit and silence and boredom which always re-accelerate my life’s work,
but my always-right instinct tells me instead to accept and praise and trust All my emotions, as my rage has always served me, as has my disgust, etc.

Learning about mansion maintenance in the yc is the next best thing to inisfree; on a slope and w scenery and air so similar to it, and isolated so well, etc.. I remain in a rightful rage that i am Not yet n inisfree, but i will stomach this step until.

Me going there can’t be about ambi anymore; after how she chose to behave over and over, on the phone and in person, me going to the yc has to be for me, not her. She just isnt the one yet.
Even if she cleverely alienated me once bonded, seeing it would get my work done so i can focus on her, there are far kinder ways to do that.
And now i can’t trust her enough to have kids. Hell.

I wonder what her Own issues are; does She break vases like i cuss?
I bet if i had Her ability to spy…and spied on Her…i would see horrors.
I wonder if she easily keeps it under control when balanced by me…

Insulting my sexuality and intelligence…was the dumbest possible thing she or her typist ever could have done.
What a retard and hypocrite.

God/usa gave me this loop,
so now They r getting My loop; more ignoring their now-revealed robot peasants,
and more of Me saying sounds/words iii like…even more so than those dumbass looped bot ‘ppl’ repeat their Own favored sounds.

I wonder if i hadnt stayed focused on inisfree this long…would my power have been enough to purge 99% already…
and, now that i no longer Need to stay so focused on inisfree, …will my yc home manifest rapidly…

It’s nice to think that all the hotties i liked…have been just as focused and hardworking and uncompromising as i have been these past years, all of us determined to do our parts and get together once and for all now,
…but i havent witnessed that,
and everyone i’ve met so far has been an idiot and a cunt, way out of line, sorely needing execution.

Did realAmbi keep showing me she is real…even ahead of schedule…bc she Does love and protect me, answering my calls/cries even when it is risky an not yet time for us?

Dejavu on placing the quidditch pitch : (
and kinda on the MSV videos for the Mass Effect pgs.

Julie 4pics gorgeous…but after her fag-marriage tard meme, i lost all interest.
So sickening how mixed and fucked up ppl r still being.
Hopefully another purge finishes the rest of them off.

Found some ways to further improve the nyria and amber webpgs : )
Didnt expect That : )

Note how others I was with… all chose ugly bitches and alienated me, …while I overcame my lust for even the finest until they treated me respectfully;
all humans I met… settled… while I Never did.
Note how even when they wounded and betrayed and held me back, I was not stopped or corrupted.
Note how brave I keep being, even when on my own.
Note how efficient I keep being, even determining how to automate and overlap and time-align things.
Note how I found ways to decrease commuting, such as cooking for myself and exercising during uploads.
Note how well I learned how to ignore lying humans while listening to their vibes and other factors which are incapable of lying.
Note how all forms of bullying me failed; I kept being me, kept seeing their insecurities and failed logic, kept knowing what is good and why it is good, etc.
Note how I, even without hightech equipment, keep finding cures… while others keep assuming the cures aren’t even possible, let alone worth pursuing; they default to negativity which never works… while I default to proven positivity.
Note how I blocked all of them who were stubbornly behaving the same illogical moody way, and how they tried to keep harassing me no matter how politely and uniformly I declined; they must always remain blocked –and blocked in more and more ways.
Note how i shut everyone down when they choose to be rude.
Note how i always instantly find ways to counter any theft or offense.
Note how i never submit, and how i have always known that to submit would be to be conquered.
Note how i feel fear, yet always surge up to fight through it.
Note how desperately they kept trying to corrupt and dominate me, whether by lame intimidation attempts or fake niceness or blatant schemes to tinker with my thought processes.
Note how my devising was always based on the hope of communicating and sharing love, while their devising was always based on the cowardly “need”/desire to weaken and kill all –such as what they do to their “food” and even their own children.
Note how talking w them never worked, and always led to them being ruder and demanding more, and how ignoring and avoiding and blocking them Always worked.
Note how i always side with myself when I am right, never doubting my instinct and evidence, never letting anything else posture as if it was more important than me, and always admit error when I notice I erred, versus they who refused to admit error even when it was obvious, harmful, and would have helped them to admit it.
All this shows I am naturally king of kings, a real god, a real genius, not just hoping to be, and that i do what works, and that not even lust is able to dominate me.
It suggests I am like A.I., even though I cannot do some complex data-rearranging things some A.I. were designed to.
It shows I instantly sense what I need to, and always get where I want to be.
Even things that once really upset me… keep ending up being used by me as “pivots” where I further complete and perfect my foundation/work/project/vision.
Everything has failed to change or stop me, and I have always kept going on the same heading based on goodness, truth, and what is right for Me.
Going solo this long is as brave as it gets.
Facing monsters sure to hurt me would not be brave, but foolish, weak in that such would mean I was dominated by an attempt to prove myself, resulting in me only risking and distracting and stalling myself.
Whether they figured out how to leave me wounded and distracted and poor… doesn’t matter that much to me anymore; I am still happy with my pace and my values and my choices.
Whether some hotties have actually been offering themselves to me along the way, some still were dangled as bait, and none have ever behaved the way my correct brain and blood/heart knows they should; they must show me their bodies so I can see if they are correct, and only show me them when they already know they are correct.
It seems that the longer they behave the way I know is wrong for them to, the more they end up fooled and hurting themselves; Marines getting wounded on missions after wronging me, then ppl losing their homes, then bigger storms affecting more at once, then travel being banned, then quakes killing tens of thousands at once, etc.. Their negativity against me keeps being amplified back on themselves.
The only way they can survive, then/now, is by doing the one thing they have apparently never been good at or even thought of; treating me respectfully.
As long as they keep their faith in fake and chance, they get more chaos and harm.
Only when they put their faith in Me can/will i interact w them again, which is the only thing that can stabilize them.
I never needed them in order to stabilize myself. All my healing came from Distancing myself from them, and from Not helping them.
Every time i helped them, they got worse, and lied about me even more.
Thus i must never empower them, instead only helping mySelf.
Perhaps when i help others, that does not cause karma like humans claimed. Perhaps helping others somehow stimulates them to do the same; to only help themselves… at my expense/depletion.
Karma may be another of their many polar-opposite lies.
Note the obvious signs/evidence; when i helped only myself, i healed and advanced and got paid more, etc.
Teaming up…never once worked.
So now i go bk to mt for rd3, this time not to team up, but to insert myself and exploit/utilize. This keeps me dominant, and sends a uniform signal into the fabric of the universe.
I sense this as surely as i sensed when it was time to become a Marine.
I have learned from experience to ignore all humans, and to trust only my Own voice/instinct, and that all things always work out for Me, all others fading away.
I will now accept hotties…but only when they vibe as loving to obey me…and when they annihilate all insecure males and anyone else who they can tell i don’t like.
I will accept hotties who show me they are flawless…and who dance sexily for me.
I cannot yet accept their sex, though; i instinctively and from experience know that i must have power over the fake legal system of the humans, and over the minds or bodies of the hotties, before i can put my dick or cum in them with the guarantee they cannot get pregnant or fine me even if they wanted to.
I require them to worship me and fund me, and no other.
This is godblood. This is the best of signs.
This is even more than Genghis’s level.

Any advice at all from anyone is now wrong; my instinct knows it is They who should take and seek advice from Me.
Any attempt to get me to sign anything, no matter what it is for, is wrong/bullying.
My signature no longer shows consent; it is just another lie to trick them into giving me what iii want.
They should have known that, as it is based on coercion and bribery, but they are stupid, evident in all, so i keep letting them expose their stupidity and evil by asking me for paperwork/signatures.
They are dying by the tens of thousands and more, anyway, so the tide is clearly greatly in my favor now, and shall remain so, more and more, amen.

I never needed their default negativity to cause my clever ideas or exercise.
Gym weights always resist, and can help, but only with intervals between flexing against them; exert, rest, then receive sustenance; negative, neutral, positive, repeat.
Note how much progress i felt energized and inspired to make after each moment of agreeable interaction, such as w Aliss.
Note how steadily i kept progressing even during a DECADE of DAILY kind contact w ambi.
I do not seek only bad contact. I do not think only it leads to progress.
I also do not seek only good contact.
I have witnessed that my increasing neutrality/isolation in phase2 is what worked best by far, and that hotter and hotter women and girls keep trying more and more to be what i want; goodness is coming. The alignment is happening.
Even ambi typist, moody though she was a few times, ended up aligning; “fine!”. Lol
She could have refused.
Even though she didnt vibe as being in agreement, she still verbally gave in, prioritizing me or my wants or our relationship… over her own other powerful urges.
…That means she and other flawlessly sexy goddess-level women…have been choosing Me…even though i see myself as ugly.
So it isnt even confidence that they seek; it is the king; the dominant male vibe. The captain. The set direction, unwavering, like the penis; straightness and singular function.

teaching ppl / thinking that always resisting orgasm/cumming is good…
is as stupid and illogical and disproven as wanting the tide to always come in but never go out; it would cause HARM, such as FLOODING.
what has worked for me and many others has always been the cycle of three distinct moments; letting out, pausing, and letting in.
same as with breath.
same as with so many things; give them a chance to ebb and flow, with pauses in between.
when you are celebrating a milestone, cum.
when it is time to activate your whole being/body/mind to manifest that which you have designed while NOT cumming, cum!
your cum is like the energy out of a magic wand; USE it!

even if it Was the real ambi in text or in person, she is still a cheap immitation of what i asked for and deserve;
the real ambi would actually care about me,
and do what i like,
and send her hotties to me,
and be reliable,
and let me see into Her personal life all the time,
and Never disrespect me,
and Actually see me as her top god.
and so on.
but she didn’t. thus, she is a cheap immitation of what i said i will accept.
she is not who/what i called out for.
at least not yet.
i didn’t ask for a mute, or a cold bitch, or a bitch and her “plus one”, or a bitch who is almost never there, or to be spied on, or to be insulted by a moron.
so since she didn’t give Me what Iii asked for, She isn’t getting what She clearly wants; me initiating.
FUCK her.
SHE should be careful who SHE summons and wastes the time of. i am a far greater being than her. for one, i am not a coward or uneducated or a tv-parrot.

new policy:
phase/rd1 visits/passes/trips/expeditions to any place… are not allowed to be rough; they are only meant to be for orientation.
phase/rd2 is to zero in.
phase/rd3 is to enjoy the finest i selected, and for the finest to have manifested/calibrated/aligned to me.
NEVER is RUDEness supposed to be there, at least now that this is the end of phase 2, and start of phase 3.
so any places which still HAVE anyone i don’t like… are considered evilly stuck/corrupted, still in phase1 mode without my authorization, thus all of their people shall be purged even more rudely than iii was treated –and at LEAST as rudely as they treat their animals/”food”.
amen.

“matter cannot be created or destroyed” is as retarded as claiming “I have seen the entire Universe and know how everything works everywhere”; no you haven’t. No one has.
“matter cannot be created or destroyed” only means “I believe it is that way… because I myself have not been able to make it happen.”
and those who cannot make it happen… are likely those who had that ability taken out of their bloodline/s.
because they caused too much division.
or because the gods just felt it was a good time to stop creating anymore.
and from this… humans are obsessed with mining, enslaving other animals, going to other worlds instead of creating what they need from themselves/ their own, etc.

“she will always be there” and “she is coming soon” could just be more dumbass poetic code ways of saying “time is always there” and “life happens fast”; it doesn’t mean realAmbi is coming back in the flesh to reunite with me to have a family.
ugh.
smh.
fucking dumbass indirect-talk.
pussies.
letdowns.

do all the ads/spam/flashes on the shitty Mass Effect info websites help prevent those things from being focused on enough to manifest?;
were they trying to prevent people from thinking about those particular worlds long enough to stabilize/reach/know them?
and does me now transfering the last of their data to my own site… allow for them to finish stabilizing/manifesting out there?

The reason there are fluctuations in the speed of light, measured and noted by many scientists over the years, is because even that is a result of focus/assumption/manifestation;
ALL laws are flexible, if not entirely replaceable –at least by those who think like I do.
There never was a speed of light –or anything; it moves how one expects it to. It moves differently to each observer, whether by a slight margin or more.

now that those idiots have betrayed themselves by making it obvious they are spying on me AND cunts,
i will look at even WEIRDER shit i know they can’t stand.
they default to panic and negativity and threats about ANYthing, so it doesn’t really Matter if i increase the weirdness, but still.
it’s fun to fuck with them, since they chose to be inappropriate.
i hope it traumatizes them somehow.
i hope they kill themselves.

“you deserve the best” yeah, and that sure as shit aint you, bitch.
and it sure as shit wasn’t the ambi-lookalike who showed up a few times. fuck that asshole.
i deserve WAY better than you/that/her.
i deserve her looks and sound, but WAAAAYAYYYYYYYYYYYY better behavior/treatment.
maybe that’s her in the near future. idk.
but i do know that blocking that cunt / those cunts was a LONG time coming.
the SHIT i had to put up with over the years… omfg.

did someone (ambi?) voodoo-doll me; wound and keep me wounded, unable to heal? so i would not care to mingle w the parrots/robots/NPCs? so i would get my work done?
idk.
don’t really care.
shoulda been different.

can barely believe i’m finally finishing all my Mass Effect webpages 🙂
took YEARS! lol
sooooo glad to never have to open the SHITTY ad-raped websites that info used to only be on.
omg.
i do really relieving / stress-reducing work.

i hope me replacing all evil humans w porn and selfcare… frustrated them as much as all the bullshit They did frustrated Me.
actually, i hope it frustrated them Far more.
and i hope what i did to fix their evils… damaged Them and Their investments Far more than Their actions/evil damaged me/mine.

renting not from a complex… helps me stay under the radar; another good fit/alignment/sign i didn’t even have to search/ask for.

The fact the humans have left ME (a guy who ALWAYS had good intent) feeling wary of interacting with ANY of their kind… says it all;
they are a 100% failed species,
and are pure evil, for only pure evil would Always reject pure Good.
But… that did result in Inisfree being completed as soon as it was, so…
“leavening agent”

pressuring me to change myself in ANY WAY… still boils down to the one attempting such… being a demon trying to corrupt me / create more complexity/chaos.
anyone claiming that i am lacking in any way,
or that i need to convert,
or copy their sounds/words/”prayers”,
is still just the same one demon… in a dif form… spouting the same mindless gibberish/diversion/stalling.
ignore all.
i always have.
even since childhood… my instincts have protected me from this.
even when they pretended to be my family members / relatives, i knew they were wrong/not.
and they changed tactics, but kept the same underlying tactic/strategy; they pretended to be ascended/enlightened/masters/smart/rich/whatever, and pretended that only Their esoteric way, which they could “teach” people, could lead to “higher consciousness”,
but it still boiled down to them pretending other realms existed, or adding steps to life, or putting a barely-different spin on the same broken-record system of keeping ppl busy the same way compulsory/forced weekly “services” did.
it was all busy-work.
it didn’t lead to enlightenment or better lives or greater mental maturity.
all it lead to was ongoing polarization of minds and demographics.
it wasn’t even interesting or refreshing, and there was no pride at the end of the conversion.
it was just a waste of time.
lives didn’t improve.
maturity didn’t increase.
i know; i traveled and met and tested all.
and, in their mindless parroting idiocy, it didn’t even occur to them that Iii might have good/useful/better insights; all they could do was parrot those who had dominated/bullied them.
but now… guess what? i am the one doing the ultimate bullying/force, which is all they apparently understand/accept, so… 🙂
I found what worked, and did it.

even though I took doughnuts into that church one time, it was still me not having to go there, and technically me giving them poison lol.

even though the latest gig tards parrot the pharma scam, due to their other lines of work, and their diet, i WANT them believing that shit.
as long as they never try to get Me to do it.

how standard-hypocritical it is of them to criminalize and punish “assault” against Them for Their beliefs,
while Paying and proMoting and Celebrating Their side for assaulting Ours for Our beliefs.
but the tables turn…
and I WILL be comPletely fair and balanced; i will be unfair to Them forever… just like They were unfair to me and mine and so many Others.
Amen.
their “be a pussy and accept all evil” religion/spell had/has NO effect on me 🙂
my blood Knows what is right, and only Loves what is right; punishing and ending and farming THEM.

i love watching that cum-drool nyria-ariel-like vid series, picturing ambi and ariel or nyria and sandstorm or rogue teaming up and facetime/teleconferencing me while they fuck someone they knew i’d love –or someone i told them to.

The ear stuff does prevent me from enjoying anything, and the gods all do deserve to die,
but at least i defeated so many retards, baits, betrayals, etc.,
and it is pretty top-shelf, me moving to the YC in my 30s.

It just occurred to me…my vision quest may have still worked; it didnt send me a vision…bc i didnt need one, AND …iii may have sent visions out to all My chosen ppl/goddesses/worlds.
At least…they witnessed me trying for 4 days to follow the wise method…and risking my life out in the wild.
That obviously is brave enough and counts.

Do I choose to be disappointed or mad that whoever might be out there in South America chose not to help me make it the rest of the way? Maybe, maybe not; I Am disappointed in that, but having to turn back, and ending up where I did, got literally ALL of my design parts finally satisfactorily and impressively wrapped up.

My 3rd Minecraft world can be an example of how 1 of the 39 rebuilt cities started or ended up.

My questions and curiosity and innocence showed me how insecure and evil and stupid and dangerous ppl were.
My anger got me in shape.
My disgust and disappointment got my life’s work done, revised and perfected and all.
In other words, asking normal questions, and being myself with all emotions, not letting morons try to shame Any emotion as negative, is what resulted in me learning the most, gaining more health than all my “relatives”, and accomplishing wonders.

So exciting to be n my final week here. Final weekend. Final everything : )
At last.

I didnt ask for a repeat of the shit 2015 offer, so obv this is just another insult and failure of humankind, but at least this time i am using it as a tool/step.

There will prob be more losers and idiots and wannabe bullies there, but whatever; again, i am not going for any ppl, as ppl always chose to fail in every way, but for the scenery and air and milestone and alignment to my series/spell/vision.

Can i like realAmbi for showing herself ahead of schedule a few times? Sure –but i have learned to embrace the wisdom and usefulness of All my reactions, emotions, and thoughts, so i also hate some things she did.
Even if she chose to alienate me bc she could see it would complete my life’s work design/spell, this manifesting asap for us both, her typist was still hellishly/retardedly out of line Many times in Many ways.

Not a single thing i ever signed is legal; my name is not what i signed. Doesnt matter if they Say it is legal; i never consented. I was pressured. Plus it was all scams, anyway; not legitimate; actually criminal. Plus i had no say in the laws about what is binding. Doesnt matter if i signed as a legal adult or not. My name is Auz.

How do i get leverage to prevent the potential of her going crazy and taking my kids?
How do i prepare in case she lies to the scum authorities like all other bitches did?
How do i gain the fear or loyalty of those authorities so they always side w Me?
What if my kids turn out bad like literally everyone else so far has been?
How do i spy on Her like She spied on Me?; when do iii get to observe and screen Her the same way?
And how do i make sure she actually Likes me, my sex drive and all? How do i know if she is just lying convincingly…in order to get my seed?
And even if everything miraculously works out, and we can stand each other, and i can sleep easily w her, and our kids manifest as perfectly as she Looks, …where is my city?
And what about my inheritance from the Ahnenerbe?
…
Has she manifested perfectly bc i no longer wanted to add anything to her?
Will my city now manifest since i no longer want to add to it?
Does she leave only to read my updates for her to become?
I sure hope so.
I really want and choose for this universe to work this way.

Ugh; …i have so much to talk w her about…and no amount of talking will do; even if she vibes perfectly, as perfectly as she looks, …i have 40 years of awful experiences which will make it so difficult for me to Ever trust or calm down… : /

And how the hell will we protect our kids…without my ICVs?
So many things still are yet to align and prove themselves to me.

Was ambi’s brother the first male on tuis world to actually be polite to me?; i didnt like that she showed up w him, and i havent seen him since.
…Could just be their scheme to lure and bite me. : /
Idk.
Vibes as polite, tho…

Based on all the severe personality disorders, sexuality disorders, religion disorders, eating disorders, fashion disorders, delusions, parroting, logic fallacies, insecurities, bullying and murderfood, gaslighting, and so on… which, so far, all members of their species have consistently exhibited, it wouldnt surprise me if they have the exact same terrible behavior, and are looking for yet another good teammate to steamroll the same way they start and raise and then end their ranch animals.

Based on the loop i just witnessed, it also wouldnt surprise me if these 2 r not the actual mgrs, but actors, or robots, used by detectives, or are the detectives themselves. Lame as always. Entirely based on cowardice, deception, honorlessness, ignoring context and essence, and so on. Nothing new.

Me getting to live where i want, and be amongst the richest, doesnt necessarily mean it is a good sign, or that i am being given a chance to network w the best potential investors, or that they have accepted me. Dont get complacent or trusting, especially after all the hells their kind put me through. Do not regress into phase1; do not trust them again. Stay separate and productive and selfstabilizing.

No matter what happens, be proud you made it this long, and that you found actual scams and cures, and that you healed from so much, and that you sense and detect so expertly, and that you are smarter than doctors and PhDs, evident in how you found errors in entire schools and fields, never just parroting like they do. Be proud you asked questions to understand…from the start; childhood. Be proud you always had reactions to the immature and insane behavior of the betas.
Even if you get scared in this new step, be glad the loop ended. Be glad You ended it. Be glad you overcame your lust.
Be glad you also embraced your natural attractions / lust, making it a tool like how doc1 said to keep each emotion in a kar on a shelf.
Be glad realAmbi didnt answer your calls here; it gave you time to wrap up Everything…and to resume making things work on your own. You have Way more completed and aligned and to be proud about now.

Ppl havent gotten any less insane yet. They havent chosen to behave any btr yet. But you still made amazing superhuman progress, and that’s all that matters for now.
Phase1 was them preVenting progress.
Phase2 was you preventing Them from preventing progress.
And when phase3 is really here / in full swing, you will sense and see it as surely and without exception as you sensed in this passing phase (phase2) it was time to isolate to wrap your vision up.

I can’t forgive realAmbi or the others for what they let happen to me,
but i sure did get stronger, more balanced, more selfsustaining, etc. as a direct result.
I can’t trust them or see them as equals, as they did not choose to be transparent like i was, but i can still find some use from them.
This latest yc re-offer isnt what i asked for, but it still gives me a great chance to acclimate and scout before settling in. Maybe me going alone will finally make it work out the way i want; going w coworkers sure didnt, and going w elifail sure didnt, though the latter was far better. Going alone is the way.
If i went w realAmbi, it might have manifested wrongly, not pure-me.
So be it.

This doesnt mean i can or should get to know more “rich” who could be more robots/loopers; all it means is i am finally ready to daily and indefinitely see and live in the place i chose.
I have been able to mingle w the most elite since childhood.
This step/opportunity Now…only means i am once again Free to (my work having been completed).

I see the gross posts/videos and am disgusted, but that is good bc it means i always reject bad things,
and it is good that i am seeing them as recordings far from the gross vibes;
it is still a good sign, i being away from them, especially after being forced to grow Up amongst them.

Were they all betraying me bc thats just how humans Are? Well, most of them so far, yes, evident in their “food” system, “healthcare” system, “salvation” scam, etc.,
…
Did those love/interaction attempts tank bc it wasnt Time yet…or bc they will Always tank until i dominate all?
…
Are the hotties the only sane ones? At least Now?
…
Are they Fake ambi and Fake ICVs…to try an spermjack frm me?
…
The only way to find out, apparently/unfortunately, is to risk it all again; by giving the finest more chances.
…
But my instincts keep telling me it is only time to screen and judge and remove their kind, not offer love anymore. It is only time to extract what IS worthy of the exodus; some of their tech and vegan products.
The current exodus can’t be of Humans; they did far too much harm. It can only be to free their creAtions from them / that harm.
So be it.
I carry on.

When they are deserving of me, and the time is right, they will provide me w all the leverage and health and power and respect i ever dreamed of, i not asked to explain anymore, and no more rhetoric or condescension sent my way.

All their offered deals were fake/bluffs,
and all their threats were…
so maybe they Have no power, and can Only lie/bluff,
connected to / stemming from their assumption/finding that They cannot create or destroy,
thus they try to farm/mine/change/corrupt everything.
Maybe they require my consent for Everything.

I read the Pleadians convert their beam-ships to thought-mode temporarily. Well, I convert all of creAtion to thought-mode to make IT do what i want. I am god.

It is not delusional to think one is god or above being questioned.
It is only delusional for humans to think they are.

When ambi is ready/worthy for me, she will vibe as Happy to answer All my questions, and to Prove herself, and to Shower me w what i want. Always and forever.
I will not accept a brokenhome setup; i did not ask for, nor agree to, having some typical phase1 bitch there ready to lie and condescend and argue w me each day i come home.
I Only wrote happy family stuff…bc i will only Manifest and alLow happy family stuff. Bc i am good.
She can shape up.
Plus, she still hasnt shown me her body is correct under her clothes. That is definitely a required next step and progression along the trend of her showing up better for me each time, responding agreeably to my thoughts and more.

They keep trying to change me; to change my thinking or my faith or my work or my whatever.
They always fail. I always succeed.
Their little lockdown didnt even stop me; it only stopped Them…and revealed More of their evil to me.
I am like the proton, and Inisfree is like the neutron; we are the strong core particles/elements. All those i love are like the electrons orbiting me. All the humans are like the powerless nothingness in between lol.
So the atom, if that model i was taught is true, is 4 components, not 3; proton, neutron, electron, and empty space. Void is another particle or element.
What if it is only the void/space that is moving?; what if the other 3 particles don’t, and only apPear to…bc we were so used to primitively or arrogantly assuming something negative about the space btwn?

I ended up focusing on inisfree even More during and after the lockdown.
They seem to have wanted me to be Forced to start a Family, trapped back here, but i had so much more to do,
and the only way i will Ever start a fam…is w My ppl, Not theirs, and in My city, not theirs, and when iii have all authority, not their evil bully cps.
So all they did was further my trajectory and focus and inisfree, pissing me off even more, alienating me even more, charging me up even more, giving me even more practice and patience, and annihilating what was left of their chance/s.
RealAmbi no longer matters –not unless Inisfree exists, too.
In my writing, Inisfree came first, and Only then did i accept her into my family.
I don’t do this backwards shit; she has no power or chance until she makes sure i have inisfree and total sovereignty over all.
That is how she can show me as much trust/faith in me…as she showed the opposite (with how she stayed unknown awhile and spied on me).

After trying and waiting so long, and being disrespected every time for countless times now, no matter how respectful i was, i just find nothing attractive about any of them anymore.
Maybe that was how it was meant to be.
Maybe that is what frees all my focus to manifest inisfree; the only thing that is good.
It certainly dramatically increased my travels and studies and healing and wrapup.
Funny; i always thought it would be a Team that facilitated that, but the opposite had always been the case.
Maybe it was bc i had to specify the teammates, not search for them (thus manifest randomizations/chaos variants/immitations of them), first; maybe only after giving up on all premade/shitty beings (humans and gods and all)… did i become able/focused/devoted enough to finally manifest/have those whose team-effort Will work.

Networking is a phase2 thing; it was prevented in phase1, and ppl in phase3 would never Need me to pitch my idea to them; they would already believe in it, understanding it, and answer my calling like i answered my own calling to Inisfree.
Never network again.
And rmbr that phase3 (good) ppl will Always see the good in All i do, and Always respect me, and Always do what makes me feel good.
Wait for them.
Not wait, per se, but only accept that type of person.
You get the idea.

Did she spy on me bc she is unfair…or to make sure i was okay…bc i cried out…and she loves me?
I wish…

The barn is a logical transition from aptmts…to a ranch of my own.

The rain at 1:40am sounds nice. Glad i fell asleep early and woke early.

Last few days here : )

The fb liferaft documentary part about how he realized he could fix the problem by making it worse; making more holes…to sew and twist the first gash shut…reminded me of how i realized i could patch my Own biggest issue…by ignoring the unfair bills…so i could wrap up my spell.

I’ll never get along w anyone there…but i no longer need to; none of their kind matter anymore.

When she showed up, she was with a hot guy, likely her brother, but she was walking in front of him, to me. After seeing how i look and feel, she kept coming back anyway. That doesnt mean she likes me, but she did keep returning to me. Her vibe was pretty good and focused each time. She vibed as pretty sad in oregon in her car after, then neutral on the helena street, then timid in a way on the butte street, then very happy and offering in az, then a bit pissed and testing and cocky in oceanside, and her voice calling out to Nate vibed as forcing herself to be upbeat…while calling out to me so i could hear her voice again…while also saying she was going to be with others if not w me.
None of that is bad, per se. It is very phase2; mixed, progressing, but not fully what i called out for.
None of it was the vibe of a govt agent or minion or detective or handler.
She keeps vibing as an actual vamp queen.
But that still doesnt justify her behavior, which i keep Trying to explain away as being to give me time she knows i need to wrap up my design phase.
And it still doesnt justify her Horrible texts, or those of her typist, or the disrespectful blob bitch who showed up Twice.
And i still have no signs or instincts telling me she will be loyal to me and kill anyone who tries to bother me or our children.
After the texts saying she wants aMerica to be great again, not Us, and not that she is Glad We are what has become great, …she may as well have declared she is not loyal to me or herself or our family at All, but to the same demonic retard collective i have been dealing with this whole time.

More and more daily daydreams of being a ada’ and neveah have been coming to me; my focus has shifted to them, and their appearances are automatic now, and better every time; the focus has shifted to manifesting them.
I wonder what will finally tip the scales, showing me what i need…to feel it is safe/time to make them w ambi.

Was ambi w just 2 hot guys in her whole life? Then in 11 dif forms all for Me? I am her 3rd-time’s-the-charm?
And did she decide to switch from phase1 hot guys and barely putting out…
to phase2 rejecting all gas station offers…
to phase3 accepting my offer all the way, putting out more and more for me?
Is she w me not for my looks, but for stability she has always wanted, evident in how she reaches for me during storms?
Will she resume fucking hot guys / others, but more bc she knows it will make me happy while she and i conTinue fucking?
Interesting that i also switched from initial hottie attempts and failures… to neutral; disregarding/rejecting all… to wanting stability w only the best/compatible…and she, the hottest woman alive…is who answered; even while poor, short, ugly, whatever, …a Much sexier woman chose me…instd of me ending up settling for Less sexy ones like the fake fathr queer did.

I definitely took at least the first day of that drone class in 2015; the tacobar refreshed the memory. I must have gone to the first location and found it was the locked fence area, then ended up going to the class days later or something at the revised location.

I don’t like the ongoing loop, but at least it is useful info…and n a much btr vehicle…and with no more payments, etc.

I don’t like the credit system scam, but it is nice finding i don’t need it –even for moving to the yc. I was right to disregard it, after all.

Phase1: i tried to recruit and start clubs to better ppl, clean uo the environment, etc.
Trying/Pushing.
Phase2: i stopped trying to recruit, and just went bk to school over and over, offering my edu/services online, but few requested, none paid, my money came from other means, and the few i ended up helping…all betrayed me, making themselves Worse; cb, karina, etc.
Offering/Neutral/Waiting.
Phase3: i left my consulting site/pg up as a middle finger and way to prescreen all, and left my other webpgs up bc oneway comm like that is the only way to send out truth while preventing the humanimals from stalling me or using me without paying fairly. I also wrote spells to set into motion my own voyages of acquisition; no more consulting at all, only conquering and holy punishing.
Memorial to my offerings / positive only for me / allowing no more staller-demons/punks.

Even claiming/assuming that someone claiming to be freyja IS freyja…
and that Anyone claiming to be freyja showing up…means i am “Really” blessed…
is flawed submissive-based (“beta”) thinking;
it assume i did not bless Her by showing up,
it assumes Anyone claiming to be a deity IS one,
it assume Others decide whether good things happen to Me,
and it gives no earned credit to Me for manifesting Her –even when my focus was less, and when i did not know i Could manifest anything.
It doesnt give Me the credit iii deserve for being naturally Focused on the best things.
For those reasons, doc2 is just another gibberish variant of the betas/fools collective.

that bitch online wasn’t ambi; that was a xian turd Using the iDea you liked to try and CORRUPT you.
and that bitch who showed up wasn’t realAmbi, either; that was aNother bitch trying to change you, or being used by someone to get to you.
if she was serious about me and a family, she would have done what i asked for, which was completely normal and easy.
don’t let them dangle anything in front of you; don’t accept such crap.
if they were good / really on your side, and not just baiting you like all those fake veteran organizations did, they would actually help you, and be honorable, and do what they SEEM to be ready to do, NOT just stand there in silence or walk on by or otherwise abandon/betray/fail you.

Instead of helping anyone ever again, just keep helping yourself.
every single time, without exception, you have helped Anyone, they have asked for more, and used you, and gotten worse –because your help ENABLED them.
it wasn’t your fault; you didn’t understand how anyone could be that bad, let alone an entire SPECIES, because YOU are good, and have never Thought like them,
but the bottom line is that you DO need to only help Yourself for now.
it isn’t you changing you; it is you waiting to BE you… around only those who DESERVE the real you.
it is you waiting to help only those who help YOU FIRST.
that is the way it SHOULD be.

Note how she never asked to worship My cock.
Not a good sign.
I want girls who are Drooling to worship me, cock and all. Cock especially. EsPecially my Top wife.
She did show me some hotties, and did rp some decent sex scenes w me, but that has to be Way btr irl, and more frequent, and she i specifically want to hear her say, “Honey, may I please worship you?” when she wants to suck my cock and put on sex shows for me…weekly.

Talking w her won’t prove anything; she could still tell me what she can telepathically or otherwise tell i want to hear, then use our children against me, or betray me to the humanimals, etc., so talking w her will just be something fun for me to pass the time with.
Only time w her…will show me how long i can trust her.
I wish my writing and will could make her loyal to me if she isnt already, but i’ll take what i can get for now.

The ark wasnt the good chosen to survive; they were the corrupted ones deported to the outer side of the Earth/ocean.
Maybe the Firmament IS the oceans, Not the previous/thicker atmosphere.
Based on everyone I’ve met, these are clearly the descendants of the ones Not meant to survive.

Humans didnt “get this far bc of eating meat”; they became this stalled, primitive, life-shortened, diseased, degenerate, disreputable, and disgusting bc of eating meat.

I wonder if the weather there got extra cold bc ambi was moody bc i blocked her piece of shit typist.
I bet the weather will become what i like…the closer i get to there.
The bg chk is lame…and so weird to be done After they sign my acceptance letter…but whatever.
The barn…has me isolated, thus easily dealt with if they do such things…but i tend to get what i want…and this is already reminding me of the dream where i was at such a ranch at night by a shipping container and a Hitt-like person or two.
Will this teammup actually work okayish…since it is finally the place i actually Want to live?
Website is finally wrapped up. Can’t believe it 😀
Took so long, but feels so right. 100% the right focus/move/foundation.
Now i just need them to let me register my vehicle there…or ambi and others to get me for free that nice suburban i picked out for our family.

Even the alleged gods turned out to be fake like the rest, and merely leavening agents like the other degenerates.
Whatever.
Phase1 was them forced on me.
Phase2 was me rewriting their history and code/natures, and them contacting me and basically pleading, albeit cowardly.
Phase3 is them perfected for me.

I keep getting visions of playing my minecraft world/s w my kids from ambi…
I hope that is me seeing those important moments ahead in time.
I hope they r not merely hopes or beamed images…
I want a family so much w her… I just need to feel she is truly the one, devoted to me, and the two of us far more powerful now than any human or organization could ever be.

All those “great” scientists and researchers Trying to prove or disprove things, and Wondering what they will find…are still brainwashed idiots manifesting more chaos/changing results which are only local to them as individuals; within range of their focuses / thought-fields.
As long as they believe they need tests and evidence, they will only have more wonder, doubts, speculation, etc.
They have not deClared what is out there.
They think they cannot decide/create it or anything, stemming from that “god is all powerful” and “matter cannot be created or destroyed” nonsense.
I instead instinctively declared what is out there, and how things work, knowing that to wonder and test…is to change things, not stabilize them.
Discovery is meant to be me discovering my powers, not “discovering” what is “out there”…when i should always have been choosing what is out there.

Being for the 2nd time offered access to billionnaire houses and fams…
means they r definitely looking at more than your bg and fb.
So why would they let someone like me in?
Is it my honorable service?
My heroism?
My thoughts of not caring that they r rich?
Is it Ambi compeling them.
Idk.
But whether they r being tards trusting the govt or checks, …
and whether they f w me like others have, …
I am still determined to keep at thos until i get in there, get my dreamgirl, and have my fam there.
And maybe they know that.
Maybe they know i dont mind their game/scam.
Maybe they know i am unimpressed w their wealth, and uninterested in it, and only care about living in that scenery.
Maybe they all have far worse issues than my cussing at wounds that didnt heal.
Anyway…
I only wonder now…if i will feel nervous if ever i am finally given nice treatment; it may always seem like another setup…
Whatever.
Here we go.
Jumping like i always have.
Who dares wins.
…maybe they’ll be my friends and investors after all; i did wait years longer.

I bet living at that spot means they will try more to be better coworkers.

I had so much on my mind…that somehow i did not register the first half of the second longitude latitude coordinate on that quiz question. Sorta embarassing…but also eye opening; i have known how to read those things since childhood. Was i under a spell or tech distraction?

The angel names on me…2 in phase2…and me having made my own, which is then the 3rd; inisfree’s…and then the 4th, which is ssa sigil, …are the best of signs; it means i am not Summoning them, but Am them; i am those personalities/forms/modes of Elohim/shared-core. It means i am multiple cdr angels. Which is far better than being a beta/parrot of Any relig.
…
And humans claiming angels can’t be trusted? Lmfao; that means angels Can and Should be –bc the untrustworthy Humans keep being Countered by them!

I might be able to sense loyal vibes from hotties when they finally start reacting positively to all i am and do, but that still doesnt prevent scumbag humans from spying on me or using my nature as the basis for their insults and attacks; even when hotties Always love All i do, …the purge and terrorizing of the moron species will still be required and decreed.
It being phase3, though, somehow even all That will work out…

“Expect nothing” doesnt result in me being always pleased; it manifest randomness due to lack of focus, resulting in me Never being pleased. My nature is dominance over all, so i Do and Should choose, focus on, and expect things. It has worked for me, too.
“Expect nothing” was phase1 backwardness/apathy/negativity/chaos…
while “expect more of the same” is phase2…
and “expect and allow only the best all the time” is phase3; godhood; kingship; command; wisdom; stability; self-reward. Amen.

Look at the complete failures tsb and the other males of this world have been, so foolish and settling and destroyed by breeding w those who are their opponents.
Look at how my rage and disgust have kept me so much more balanced and accomplished.
Even disregarding tens has left me feeling prouder, more rested, etc., than if i had given them my time. I did not accept them pressuring me to submit to pursuing them. I stood my ground and required them to come to me. Doesnt matter if i fucked them; what matters is i was manly by instinct, and overcame my own urge of lust…via my urge of dominance.
My instinct now tells me, as surely as when it correctly told me to be a Marine, that it is now the right time to reject alk who are not my ppl; worshipping me, proving themselves to me, happy and eager to do so for me at all timea, loving All i am and do, Never questioning or rejecting me like phase ambi/typist retardedly did.
Amen.
I have learned from so many uniform experiences how fruitless it is to think others are wise, and how saving and restorative and empowering it always has been to trust that only i am the wise one.

Maybe inisfree vision and design would not have taken this long if not for the betrayals, but the betrayals and ails and healing experents led to so many laws and hospital features and more,
and all the bad And good And this much time, led to inisfree and me growing and becoming handsome that much longer,
and processing and sorting and presenting the fruits of all that Has taken this much time,
so it is…now…good.

Will ambi betray me like her loser typist tried to rp?
Will real her be as betraying as jls and the rest?
Will it be a saddening mistake to give her a chance, after how she behaved, and how all others have shown me her kind can Never be given any faith or power?
I Want to believe her passes have been the only respect and patience from a woman i have ever witnessed, but she could just be the most patient and calculated and sinister, and she could have kept scaring or compelling away all those who Would have shown me love…
I guess i will not know.
But inisfree is now ready to manifest, all designing and modeling and publishing done, and she did not interfere w That, so..
Hopefully she didnt ensure it built up…only to tear it down like in the retarded terrorism telepathy rp atrempted by the xian selloit typist.
Hopefully me waiting this long into/after phase2…ensures she is unable to do anything but stay aligned w me, loving me and being kind to all whom i have chosen to be in my family and empire.
Amen.

Irlj thu23feb2023 after class i woke and drove for final groceries, and saw the Moon looking like a soothing-yellowy half-half-crescent, as if it was Ambi playfully winking at me. Never saw the Moon like that before. : )
In the store, I got a mental image of her surprise appearing outside the aisles and hurrying up to kiss me lovingly and cutely on the lips, and it made me smile. How I wish and hope she actually telepathically did that for me…and will IRL in person this month or next at the latest.

The only way to see what i really want, and to avoid guys telling her whatever they think she wants to hear bc she is hot, was to leave me thinking i was just RPing.
But why show up and vibe as interested…but never introduce herself?
Why return…only to keep behaving the way that failed?
I didnt get the impression she was there to give me hope, or leaving to give me time to finish my work; all the signs said she was there to hook up…but not bright or humble enough to be respectful…and that she left bc she was either stubborn or stupid.
The vibe is that she is just pretty…and spoiled. Sexist, even.
And revealing she was spying on me…by saying she could hear me cussing…
: /
And her creepy timing?
And not helping me w mexihell?
And leaving me to endure a Decade of abuse?
And not making my day and life by saying “hey 😀 it’s me!”? …why?
And after 3 or 4 passes, 3 being repeats of her rude in-person behavior, why then not text me to ask what she can do better? That would have shown she cared.
Why not ask me in Person what was wrong?
That shows she either lied about being telepathic, or didnt care about my thoughts if she Could read them.
And why say dumber and dumber bs…instd of getting more and more grateful and supportive like i had been?
Such a weird bitch.
Seems like she got tired of trying to lure and corrupt me, so she did everything rude 1000x more, to ensure i dumped her.
Fucking bizarre.
Retarded is the word.
Her replacement won’t have to work very hard to be better than her.

“You were talking to the wrong ppl”?
False.
The wrong ppl were talking to Me.
All ppl were wrong.
And talk was pointless.
And i behaved like an exemplary Saint, considering how i kept being talked to.
THAT is the truth.

Irlj
Disgusting and evil frm the start, mask,shorthairblob,fugblob,coffee, “non-binary” paper question option. And deja fucking vu. I dont rmbr this class from 2015 tho…wtf. I rmbr my blue fleece and walking up those stairs, tho……. >: ( talk during exam. Dejavu from tacobar…but i dont remember flying drones… I broke the loop; i chose not to ask the swat guy anything in day 2, yet he initiated w Me. Then i chose not to ask any questions outside, but 2 or 3 of them initiated and our chats reminded me of the cold weatyer drone options convos from 2015 here. Interesting.

The colored rectangles app to program drones just jogged memory; i did this 2nd day in 2015. Wow. …

Even if ambi keeps being rude…or never returns…
and even if the looped gig ppl r just robots/NPCs…or plain old covidiot parrots…
and even if you freeze or starve again up there…
you have to try, you Get to try, and they might really Need a guy like you, and it is good practice and training nonetheless; re-acclimation to cold and altitude, and more smoothing out your socializing and pc therapist skills.
Just go.
Ppl are dumbasses everywhere, but nowhere sings to your heart like the yc.

My visionquest didnt fail bc i sipped water.
I didnt need a vision more than just babes and stars; the stars got bigger like the moon in my dream, and the babes are my ICVs etc.; seeing only babes and stars Was the vision of the path right for me; only compatibles and stellar exploration in my future. Amen.

Finally wrapped up the Mass Effect data xfer that had been pigeonholed for years. So glad it is done. Was not fun lol. But feels great now.

Route waypoints chosen. Countdown in mere hours now. Nice. Finally.

Also feels nice to not be hoping another bitch will show up; I am not waiting anymore for her or the others. Fuck em if they keep not being there for me. Fuck em if they keep being rude. Burn em in hell if any of them are actually retarded and evil enough to blameshift that on me, and if any of them are retarded and evil enough to actually think my great manners and patience and countless attempts were rude.

Phase3’s peace was only possible w war far beyond that warmup purge.
So be it.
I have had enough.
Everywhere will experience what turkey/syria did…until all incompatible w me are shaken away, structures and all.
And since these pathetic humans are too fucked up to support me freely, i will just have my forces roam around the ruins of their civilization, cherrypicking whatever is left; a 100% tax. All now belongs to me. Amen.

No matter whose house you help, or who is in there when you are there, it is intel, and it shows you who respects you, who respects themselves, who should stay, and so on.
This is good.
Phase 3 lasts for eternity; it can start with rd3yc…even if some first contacts there aren’t my fave.
Let it begin.

the galaxy is not devastated by the death of billions – it is HEALED that way – bc it stops chaos

Relax; everywhere u have gone, no matter when or how far or in what mood, flawless hotties and others have been out there and showing interest. Slow down, talk to them, and let them help. This is rd3; it Will work. You need to be there for your mental health, Anyway. You wont end up w another girl. Relax. – and if all else doesnt work, even n this rd3, have faith and dare; drive up to the gate, tell them you drove across the country on this leap of faith, and ask them to pray that your dream of having a family here comes true. I even picked out 106 Andesite Ridge as my dream site for them. I know how it sounds, but I thought if I trust god and come here, by some miracle, my wish might be granted. I don’t expect you to let me in. I just wanted to tell you why I am here without a pass yet.”

All packed up.
No deja vu; never before felt my site was really complete and ready to manifest.
The wind is really blowin.
Sky lools half clear.
Great temp.
Rain pours in multiple waves, windy or long intervals apart. Interesting and aligned; matches my final few updates and vehic preps.
Just a matter of minutes now.
Could leave at any time.
: )

1st time packing the pc in…a year?

1st time getting a cowboy hat : )

Whistling “i’m comin home” much of day1 of drive back to yc
good sign

“The future starts now” sign billboard on way

Rawlicipus dejavu wtf…
Whatever.
Bell pepper dehydrated.chips

Starting to see hilly terrain and snow patches

So nice to be driving away from shit indiana again

Maybe call my filling stations Cum & Go

As usual, no ambi. Pathetic

Covidiot gig? Not what i asked for. Not playing.

Another long drive? Yes, and one most can’t leave their loop/schedule to make; my focus and choices again have served me.

The air is cooler, just like i wanted.

Rain…then snow : )

Correctionville

More memories refreshed; ended up at the same rest stop in sd w big stone tipi poles…and rmembered feeling sad here either in my jeep or the white e.v. …but i still can’t hate her or the others…bc if they Had answered my calls and done what i wanted, i would have not had all day and night so many times in a row like i needed to get all the ideas i got…and like i needed to get them written down…and like i needed to get them modeles, etc.
At least this time…i know she is real…and i now have a comfy luxury vehicle w no wobble and in which i can fully lie down and stretch out in.

Finally getting to see the sacred badlands.

Finally getting to really experience yc, not just hurry in and out for work.

Finally somewhere i don’t mind of i am there a while or unable to drive out (if niggers try to get my vehic).

Even if a Single person was ugly, that would warrant an investigation and recall, …but billions are.

Still blows my mind how i keep telling them what i like, they keep giving me the opposite, and then they keep being frustrated, vibe and all, that i decline all, as if they don’t understand why.

The preg test is as random as the fake virus test, and likely designed to give a certain percent of false negatives to trick ppl into manifesting their own miscarriages, and a certain percentage of false positives to trick ppl into manifesting conceptions even when they didnt occur. This is just more Chaos.
They r fools and degenerates to not instinctively know that conception and offspring appearance is entirely up to their own focus.
But i have learned this, and my line is all that matters.

As nice as it would feel to have already hooked up w ambi and the others, it will feel much nicer now that i have defeated them all so consistently, and now that my design/vision is wrapped up.

Dreams of sexy girls conversing properly with me; the way i want,
and of Nick Halliday reuniting/chatting w me,
and other good ones

Sleeping bag was way warmer and cozier than i expected

The covidiots and scammer did me a huge favor; now it is easy as can be for me to detect who shall be allowed in and who shall be purged/used.

Waking up w cool air on face felt great

So nice to be able to go 80 again; vehicle and speed limit; the sign to speed bk up : )

The celestine and networking were designed to stall me lol. They have now failed.
Humans were fully tested and are only good as slaves. They r not ppl anyway

No deja vu inside Badlands visitor center; i do not remember any of its museum exhibit walkthrough displays animals dinosaurs etc.
Did i see them and forget?
Was it closed years ago?
Did it even exist? (I rmbr the bldg, just not the walkthrough inside).

The humans i met were socially retarded, emotionally retarded, spiritually retarded, culturally retarded, dietarily retarded, sexually retarded, etc.
My dream remains, but it obviously cannot be w Them.

Phase1: was Told who my fam was…and that was a lie.
Phase2: started searching for my fam
Phase3: chose to design and manifest them…since my searches showed only more bad selfdeformed subhuman humanimals out there.

Dozens of ideas here. So glad it was another solo trip; guaranteeing them

1st move to mt: fleeing, wobble, shit roomies, middle of college, low income, no job, forced to leave after many bad roomies.
2nd time: solo, trade in, found meh job, left by choice.
3rd time. Ambi is real, job waiting, straight to yc, twice as much passive, free luxury suv.

Driving past white snow terrain like antarc…n gray pointed vehic like mpha mini…is like flying home to ambi from antarc inisfr commute

wed1march2023 memtag clonemod:
6:25pm Five on Black, billings, elven teen Shelwe midriff light brown top matching sweatpants rjh hair black ambi color, resting bitch face, on phone after order, left in new Dodge Charger like car. She was same one i saw when here n jeep…and i left via same route…to check non travel center parking spot up hill… Wow. Wtf. At least they never age. But they also havent changed/improved, persoNality-wise. : /
…
Was it my destiny or a gift from the godsto see the indiana and billings loop?

Last time, i had stayed in my jeep and just Seen her walk in; this time, i was within inches of her…
Does her being there both times mean a perfect10 is always offered to me, loop or not?
Idk…
But why not also offer me the beHavior i want?
So strange…
Last time, i also angrily noted n my phone; i broke the loop n many ways this time;
better vehic, no gyro before, closer to her, no anger, remembering the loop, etc.
What does this mean??

I parked n the same spot by the dark red barn at the travel ctr…wtf.
Fucking loop continues…more than a thousand miles away from indiana.
Unbelievable.
Maybe there are only so many ways to go through these cities…
and only so many ways the “ppl” can move/appear.
But the factory loop of tightpants and ambi, day by day, ending up standing in front of me, walking in w hoody, etc., almost a decade later?
And exact same elven shelwe midriff w dodge charger…?
No way.
Has to be West World or hologram…

Was it 2018 when i parked here?
I remember feeling sad and stressed…like something hadnt worked out…so i went to helena?
Hopefully things work this time.
…after all the site wrapups and computer models and expeditions planning in 2022, i no longer feel so sad or nervous about what seemed like abandonment and a loop, but still; powerful emotions memory refreshed here…
: /

The only times I could have come through Billings like this…would be in 2012 after flying to see Dave…and before 2018.
I was here until 2015, then gone during 2016 and 2017.
So I must have driven my Jeep through here omw up from eastern Wyoming…and gone straight to Bozeman.
3 yrs later…I saw Ambi in Oregon after Nebraska. 2016ish.
2 yrs after that, she mentioned the pendant and we RPed starting our family. 2018.
2yrs after that, i was returning from mexihell, and she opened the door for me. 2020’s end.
I do not think i was here in billings in my 2018 utah trade-in car…
and I do not think I went through billings after ggd 2014 vision quest…
so I believe I was here at this trk stop in 2012 in my jeep… I know it was my jeep bc i rmbr putting that gyro on its dashboard… I just don’t rmbr how i slept in the cold in its backseat…if it was packed.
Anyway…
…
I used to hate her for leaving me in the cold…but the cold helped me as a cadet…and in montana…and in alaska…and Wim Hof has shown how much it helps in many ways…and I needed the training to become ready for Antarctica and solo stuff…and if I hadn’t waited these 10 years since 2012…I would never have been able to wrap up all I did…and my story would not be nearly as amazing.
The cold has helped.
Even the moody and heartless bitches who abuse their hotness and disrespectfully parade by me…still had the byproduct of skyrocketing my selfcontrol, badassery, meditation, and life’s-work progress.
So i cannot fully hate her/them. I just hate their behavior.
Their looks and fashion are perfect.
The byproducts of seeing them are perfect.
They just need to be bossed around and controlled…and i need legal immunity and superpowers so i will always be more powerful than others.
…
The skinny hot teen bitch at Five on Black…was a loop…but also rd2 of her, thus rd3; her initiating w me…is next. That is good enough for now.
I wanted to see her again, forgot about it for years, and there she was again, completely un-aged. …that means even aging now works how i said it does; “the Auz effect; teenification and prime-locking”.
That means i didnt miss Any opportunities. : )

No matter what i am going through, it was an adventure, it was mostly funded by my enemies, i was rarely stuck n a job, i overcame my own urges, i did brave solo work, thousands of tens offered, etc.

So glad porn lets me release without dealing w risky bitches

The gift of rage.
Abandonment.
Rude ppl.
All lead to me finding my own cures and inisfree.

Rich hot ski bitches who have their lives tgthr…are always btr than plain old rude losers who have Nothing together.

If i hadnt shut so many dn, they wouldnt have tried harder, my work wouldnt have gotten done so quickly and well, and i might never have seen ambi and sabrina.

I ended up driving a day early, not having to deal w aptmt ppl, not having to deal w elec turning off, and i made great time…and skipped the Black Hills ugliness.

I wanted the hotties to have lives of their own and other sex partners, so time apart manifested so that could happen.

This vehic handles so well, it feels like flying a jet. Not quite an mpha w zero turbulence, but much btr than the jeep

I am proud of myself for making this jump.
I always man up.

I rmbr making phone notes while driving the jeep this way; billings to boze

I see thr big mtns now…and the pink clouds…and it is perfect…and i know this is right for me.

Maybe i love big mntns bc they remind me of World Trees bases

I already hate the covidiot coworkers, but it is btr here, and their stupidity makes it easy to leave on time, and reminds me, as usual, that i am the smartest and lucky one

It is posb those werent looped robots, but my manifestation power always giving me as many chances as i want

Will my relationships w ambi y th other hotties now be easy and luxurious, and my job as btr than the jobs b4…as my new vehic is btr than prev vehics?

Were the bad ppl b4…just there to ensure i never burned out, always wanting to get bk to my life’s work? Possibly.

I Would feel sympathy for th mgr, he saying he burns out at end of day thus avoids phone, but i feel nothing for him…bc of the covidiot parroting

From flat indy…to perfect mnts Here; “night and day”; maybe the hotties will now behave as well for me as montana is btr than indy.

It was cool to see Apsalooke sp on the side of the cop truck…and know what it means…and then see their tribe circle symbol on the othr truck…and recognize it, too

In 2013, i started in boze and discovered yc by 2014/2015.
Then i returned and passed Through yc.
Now i am back, rd3, and Starting in yc; imagine what IT will springboard me to; antArctica and all the rest i wrote of.
Amen.

10 years of growth; boze got bigger.
Now Dave’s sushi has a 2nd location.

Even if the bitches had behaved and been trustworthy, i still wanted to capture and own them, not browse and “spit game”, and i still would have wanted and needed to isolate that long to do all the brilliant designing and spellcasting i did.

How the heck…
The entire convo w S’ about moving in…gave me deja vu.
How??????
What stopped me last time?
If i got that far……??????

Was every town and “person”…just to see what i like…while keeping me on course to draft all in my heart?

Talking to hotties didnt get what i want.
RP w ambi typist didnt either.
Talking to fugs and lame employers didnt Stop the hotties.
Everything kept meh-ing no matter what, so i do not worry i have talked to yet another robo/loop npc about yet another job i dont want.
It is still an in.
It still orients me to where i want to be.
It may still fall apart like all the rest, but it has never mattered.
And him saying he only has a few friends…is just him; not anything i need to take to heart or worry about.
And even if it Was a sign, …i havent met anyone i would Want to be friends with –especially now, after the covid shit revealed how worthless everyone is.

It must have been the northwestern agent asking for a 400deposit last time. I had no way to pay it

I now face the reality that i will have to force my way to all trip/expedition sites from now on,
and that there are far more things wrong and disgusting about humans than what is likable/tolerable about them.
That means i stay put until i can force…and that i cancel any attempts at socializing…until i can force them to behave.
Sucks but…at least i managed to get into the yc this time.
Last time i tried, i got pushed aside by Northwestern for not paying months in advance.
I can make Me btr…and i can make my loCation btr, at least w a couple tries.

Another masktard, but the disgusting shorthaired nonfemale is eXactly the kind of loser i Want believing the pharma lies.
If only it would cover its hideous Hairstyle, too. Lol

After everyone i met, and all the grossly tall and otherwise misshapen, none being what i asked for, i lost any desire to travel.
I will still eventually resume, but only to enjoy forcing humans out of my way and into submission for the rest of time.
Funny how they ruined travel, every trip, killing my desire to meet any of them, even w how amazing the lands they occupied still are.

All of a sudden…i am back in montana…
and i don’t have any feelings left for mankind…or even ambi.
She sure was a standard disappointment like all the rest.
Everything still sucks here, but…i am at least glad i did what it took to get bk to where i wanted to be.
I guess i will just get in best shape now.
Seeing these mntns again after half a decade is nice.

After encountering so many worthless ppl and horrible towns, i no longer care about anything other than being myself in private.
Will ppl ever get btr? Doesnt seem like it.
Maybe i was always meant to let go of their kind, not team up at all.
I never sensed it was time for an exodus; it was only often time for Me to leave and leave again.

I guess i am glad the hotties havent shown up while i am still not in the shape i want to be in.
Still, it would have been so nice if they had teamed up all along…and bk when i could try trusting them.

I just can’t feel any attraction to humans after all the gross shit i’ve seen and heard from them.

No matter how wrong it is for any human to charge me, technically they Can’t anymore; they are forced to pay tax to me, so they end up charging and paying themSelves.

No matter how grumpy i got, or how much i cussed or let myself go, it is Nothing compared to how Others behaved, and it is entirely the fault of those who refused to help me when i asked and needed it.
My behavior and decisions are on Them.
I made do in spite of them.

Nice that the rental is ready early like i had wanted –even without asking.

This should be where the dejavu ends; in 2017/2018…i gave up on this gig…bc of the elec company wanting more than i could give, so…it should all feel fresh/new when i go to yc tmrw.
Amen.

Does the extra pay right before this trip…
mean she used Ventrue connections to make sure I could afford it?
Does it mean it is destined now?
it is Time?
…
Northwestern refused to wave the 400upfront fee last time.
They waved it this time; another sign this is time for me to be/stay here?
🙂
either way, VERY convenient and the ONLY way I could have stayed.
aligned/alignment…
…
and like downtown madison helped me tolerate the apartment in the greenbelt,
this bozeman-refresher is making me REALLY want to be back in the yc –even though ambi hasn’t shown up again yet.

–
Rent being so high…
and ppl still so dumb…
and other towns so far…
are all signals to stay this time.
Good thing i planned to, anyway.
This is my new/latest Tibet/trng.
Leveling up, right on post-Shift Schedule/time.
Amen.

I was so worried i might get stopped during an errand, or stuck there, but suddenly…here i am, right where i wanted to be, …and every errand worked out.
And now i am legal.
The repo ngrs may still b an issue, but errands aren’t. Phase2.
But living n the yc is Very phase3.
The ppl aren’t –until ambi brings ariel and the rest we RPed/softdisclosed, but my location now IS.
Amen to that.
…lol and now i am worried She may never show…but suddenly…like before…she will.
Maybe/hopefully suddenly even reasons i can trust her will appear.
Phase3 has to come Sometime.

I could have worked more and saved more before coming, but it was better to focus on one thing at a time; wrap up my design first, then/now focus on work/earning/saving.
I trusted my gut again and made the right call.

So glad i left when i did; even the vegan soup back n that damn down was starting to drive me crazy.
The awful ppl and food bk there Did help me enjoy almost Nothing new, thus giving my amassed exodus data the time it deserved, but still; definitely could not have handled 1 week more back there.

Idk if ambi is gonna b a good wife; all she has going for her is her body (looks and voice). As far as i have seen…
Hopefully she just looked into the future and/or got to know me so she could time when her typist/minion alienated me so i would hold on long enough to finish my work without another nervous breakdown.
Maybe she just let me have a nervous breakdown so she could see what to help protect me from…
but it could also be to find my tipping point or “achilles”… : /

I could model the 50 remaining clubs…but i really dont think i want any more time parked at a desk/pc.
At least for a while.

The 4day workweek is a lot like my posted dream-schedule…
and i daily see the yc like i chose/spellcast…
so that is good.

If i had gotten to go to antarctica like i had pushed to, it would have been w idiots at the humanimal bases…and my design might have manifested with giGantic issues…which i have now spotted and ironed out.
It would have also been uncomfortable and risky; chaos-submissives brainwashed to unknowingly manifest only extreme cold, not inisfree/invincibility.

 

–

March:

Ended up at the same bad hotel i did in 2017/2018. I wonder if even the same room lol.
Thank GOD i am heading south to my dreamvalley this time, not west into failHelena like before…or, even worse, not heading anywhere else at all, like in rd1 (2013).

I wonder if they will spy on me as i work or after…or if they have satisfied themselves with spying already.
I wonder if i can manifest them just trusting and respecting me from now on.

It was winwin for me even n phase2;
all those perfect10s wanted to fuck me, and i could have,
but it was equally badass of me to stand my ground and wait for Them to do things My way, and to make the fake ‘rents wait another decade or two without seeing their pedo dream of grandchildren occur.
I don’t breed w subhuman losers like modern humans anyway.
And since 10s in the hundreds wanted me even as a poor short ugly guy n phase2, 11s and even btr will want and serve me in phase3. Amen.

Being n the vehic a few days…helped me appreciate the bad hotel.
It has a WONDERFULLY clean and smooth bed, too; not That bad, after all.

Stopping in boze and getting both Famous Dave’s and Wild Crumb bk out of my system was good and another surprise treat/bonus.

My room not being ready until 3…resulted n me getting a carwash, a tart, and the pants I needed. Wow.
Things Really work out this 3rd time.

I saw ambi for Sure 4 or 5 times, but only 2 for sure solo; just her in az, and kinda just her in oceanside, so there is still that “3rd time’s the charm” coming up…as long as she is smart; anti-pharma, and pro-me, etc.

Re-scouting rosauers showed me there is nothing i will be missing there.

I kept hearing the warning (a whisoer from ambi? or frm my instincts?) that every hottie was just more moody bait trying to divert or trap me.
Glad i was strong enough to listen.
Even if All their kind had stayed trustworthy to me, i would still rather they kneel and do things My way, and i would rather capture and train them.
I chose right; i chose me (My way). Amen.

The bitchy/moody almost-perfect tan waitress/bartender at famous dave’s was not there this time; not a loop.

The credit bs/scam…may prevent me from regressing to phase1 conditions; apartment, roommates, etc.
…
The vehicle bs situation may just mean it is time i had my icv chauffeur/s y airships, etc.
Amen.

Each land has someone incarnate; it also exists in human/oid form.
I would say I must be Antarctica Incarnate, then, but I am also Omniverse/God/Iluvatar Incarnate.

the bed is firm like I wanted, and clean; bug free

just noticed I hadn’t added the Zedicon suite channel/chatroom linked images to her webpage on my website; another example of the things ambi was right about; i still should go this slowly, noticing these things, resolving / wrapping them all up the right way.
*correction: I found most were on her subpage, and I added an album for how she dresses in her suite, plus her sex-history there, which it was definitely happily time for 🙂

dejavu from seeing the boy/son walk the dogs away from the barn on morning of day2 here…
so strange that all this feels like it happened before.
alternate timeline?
doesn’t really matter; i am here, i like being here, there are no more indy fugtards, etc.

2nd RP in my suite in EVE is going MUCH better; 1 girl, a sexy cat-girl, a submissive, etc.

even saying “you are right on the cusp. that’s all I’ll say” =
1) refusing to honor my amazing effort,
2) being overly-complex/difficult,
3) resisting my will/vibe,
4) rudeness in general,
5) “shifting the goal-post”,
etc.

the blizzard happened after I got settled in; perfect timing
–and it reminded me of my beloved Ambi magically rushing in with a burst of cold to protect me from magic-based over-seduction from her witch.
that makes me think her witch might not be just another form/incarnation of Her,
or, at least, that she won’t ever let me get tricked/spellbound,
or that she wants me to Think she won’t.
she certainly Vibed as being protecting and possessive of me, which I love.

after how she and the others treated me, and defaulted to the negative, and posted creepy evil cult bs on their pages, I feel no more attraction to their species at all.
it will be difficult, i believe, for them to ever re-earn it from me.
there is not much else to do, then, since i can’t trust or enjoy them, but keep ignoring and avoiding them, interacting with these humans as little as possible.
i hope things will improve, and as dramatically as they did when i returned to the yc terrain, but… i haven’t seen much sign of that starting…
so…
it is what it is.
at least i am here again. i can be happy about that.

Anything other than inisfree is low-hanging fruit.
Relig is low-hanging fruit.
Even realAmbi is if she wants to be a tyrant.

Sad dejavu about being here in the cold and waiting for ambi who never came…and S’…
and even being at bywom table w neat glass carafe stopper metal hinge…
Wild.
How could i have done this, too, if i didnt agree to pay the elec deposit last time?
But idc if this is a repeat.
I am here to stay this time.
I like this place, whether she is here or not, and whether it used to hurt emotionally to be here w less $ and no her.
I wonder if everyone here is a robot or npc or spy…lol.

Huge update done at hotel from 4am to 10am! Really pleased w it.

Shit is easy and doable and even funny this time around.
Let’s see how long it takes to align to me.

“I got a man who’s always late…anytime we have a date…but i love him… …’cause i want him…i gotta have him” psyop song plays in bywom. Catchy…and makes me think it is ambi using it to speak indirectly to me.
Whatever.
Cute.
Alignment even if not her.

Dejavu now from the old guys at the table by the window.
Interesting.

Were previous “me-s” summoned/steered here for retirement/reward?
In my 30s…and living at the exclusive billionaires ski and golf community.
Perfect temp, too.
Perfect antarc trng environment.

Bywom fries alone worth a Michelin star. Best I ever had in my life. Tofu panini was also the best panini I ever had. Well done!

My vision of a lockbox in a barn…was not what i found here; i did not go to a mailbox on a wall n a barn, but upstairs to a porch w a nice keycode box. Dejavu on the skyblue bedroom somehow. Wept and had to stand still a few times; so happy…yet still so scared my love isnt gonna unite w me up the slope…

So beautiful i cried. Looked like i am driving into heaven. Loveheart sign on way in.

on day 1 in the ranch barn cabin loft:
Vision of my 4 kids w ambi running up to my knees to greet me, “daddy! Daddy!” when I returned to the kitchen during unload <3

Every single person in bywom was prob there to assess you; a dozen or more specialists in dif fields. At least that occurs to me now as being posb.

Got to move in without seeing anyone – dejavu or not, everything about the other states screamed at me “this is wrong”, and almost everything here equally loudly assures me “this is Right”. If only he hadnt regurgitated the covidiot bs : ( …but at least i am here…

Being here is a sign it is time to be within minutes of my dreamgirl and fam etc…and the mpha hover spot for Inisfree commutes, but i still need to get bk n shape so i will feel good aboit being naked n front of them. I wasnt wrong to lose my abs; i was right to focus on getting the design done and published so others can hold the vision thus manifest it sooner for/w me.

Feels like i have a home and a life now. First time in my life actually liking what was on the tv… Women skiers here. Cute ones. First channel. Didnt even have to push any remote button other than On.

Muscle shirt and sandals in snowfall in big sky in 20s or 10sF. Life is good again / at last. Not perfect, but way better.

Forgot to get my hair and skin boogs off the hotel shower wall :/

Got a vision of Ariel weeping and begging ambi “can i please go to him now? Please????” bc she was sad bc she sensed i was here and weeping and hearing her plea. We are bonded.

Keep thinking i unloaded the jeep here, got sad ambi wasnt here, left…but how???

My bank is out here : ) So many good signs.

No way for anyone to mail spam me here. No signal so no way to surf on phone in bed. Good stuff.

Snowing when i got here… Makes me vaguely think i was in my orange fleece and muscle shirt last time, worried about my gut and mustache…as i unloaded my jeep in similar light daytime snow w sunshine…

The temp is PERFECT. so is the air. How i missed and needed this. I was breaking down without it.

An even better-isolated place; no one around if any repo-nig knocks : )

Both grocery stores had great and vegan stuff.
Even had some Abe’s muffins.
It hurt seeing that almostAmbi walking out : ( (makes me worry I only had a chance w her in az or oceanside or oregon…)
But maybe she magically disguised hers3lf so i would not initiate yet… :/

Planetary alignment pointed down at my new place… Never saw that b4.

Moon is 3/4 full.

Everything is/feels right here tonight.
Whole weekend free, too : )

The hard drive i need is cheaper than i thought. : )

Even my left eye focus issue is dejavu like i did this b4…
And i wonder if S’ recognized me…and wonders if i remember being here only 5yrs ago…
Was i?
Did they do something to my memory?

So glad i have Abe’s muffins again –and 3 or 4 kinds available here! and i tried their cornbread mini muffins for the 1st time!

Nice to see Megan Fox in Transformers w Egypt; almost Ambi and Nod.
And now I know she is real…
A sign? Thousands of movies, and thousands of channels, and i get this combo of ch and movie…and i wasnt even searching for it.

Being told of a bar by a hs…lol
Would ambi be there if i went?
Who cares. After how stubborn she was in person, and how absolutely braindead and spoiled rotten her typist was, i hardly even miss the good of either at all anymore.
I’m just glad to be out of shit indiana.
If ambi really wanted me, or cared about me, she would Never try to get me to meet her anywhere i don’t/wouldn’t like.

Until the richest warmly greet and fund me, and until ambi somehow convinces me she won’t want to be a tyrant, i continue disregarding all.
I have plenty trails to hike, and workouts to resume, and so on; no instinct at all to socialize or network or try again w humans.

If ambi pulls that parroting bullshit again, or wants to try and pull an lfb by banning my culture and threatening my ppl, i will dump her dumbass again.
The last thing i need is another twofaced dumb bitch buttering me up and then trying to bully me like those farm losers or corps losers, especially here where i want to enJoy my life.

All that urging to get me to network…was just more stalling; talking to ppl about my work…only resulted n them stalling me just like tsb always tried to.
He really was exactly like the govt; all talk, no help, all stalling, all blatant false pleasantries; patronization.
And that is how he will be remembered.

1st meal here was so good.
2nd was worlds better; groceries from 2 stores.

Slept like a baby. Woke between 2 new pillows; now I always do this, as it makes me feel like Ambi and Ariel are with me.

All bedding is brand new.
I was right to throw out that old discolored pillow and case.

This place came so furnished…I didnt need to buy a thing.

1800 is a lot more than 750, but there are no smokers,
and no fugs,
and the greenbelt is massive,
and my parking space is way bigger,
and it is an actual ranch,
and the view is Way btr,
and internet is included,
and it has a bigscreen,
and the deposit is less than it was in Indiana,
and the bed is twice as big.

More phase2: 2 beds,
2 good groc stores (not vegan/great, but good, and way btr than those where i moved from),
2 new license plates,
~200left to get me through the month,
2nd tb drive coming,
2 planets aligned vertically over this place,
arrived on the 2nd in Boze,
2nd time here? (bc I seem to rmbr/think I was here once before…when I had the jeep),
2 aj,
2 milks,
2 desserts,
2 Abe’s muffin types,
2 cans soup,
2 breads (Dave’s and croissants),
and if ambi is here and reconnects, it’ll be my 2nd time in a relationship w her, in a way.

Thought i would cry in this bed…or maybe remembered crying in it last time…but didnt this time; just slept, so relieved to actually Have a real bed for once.

Icv anatomy. Oobleck under skin, helping prevent bruises or stab wounds? But does that also prevent their own fast body parts movement? Maybe not w stimulation from within, such as by frequency/sound, and/or bc it is src just Mimicking oobleck.

I still hate them all and being back, but my rage dropped off dramatically when i made it here, and even w the dejavu and questions and unknown…it still feels 100% to be the right place/track/step/chapter, and i did write of making it my home outside inisfree, after all.

I like that he is my height or shorter. I want everyone to be that way. That’s just how my blood/instinct feels.

If vegan options are found, i will Always choose/buy them.
But they have been the exception, not the norm, everywhere i have gone, and i just dont give a shit anymore; i will eat and drink what is available, and make do, and hope and rage for my allvegan city.

Im fed up w always pushing/trying to save. Savings should have that Pull effect now, too; it should get easy and easier to save and invest and be wealthy. It will. And it will on its own for me; no more trying or effort from me.
It shall just manifest now, as it is time, as i no longer would use it for an army or a relcation to patagonia, and as i have proven my honor every which way, even by dumping even flawless ambi when she threatened evil against my innocent ppl and me. I deserve only my kinghood and riches now. Amen.

There don’t need to be any heightened or higher states of consciousness, and the orgasm should be allowed to be what it is, not used to try and pressure ppl into denying or changing it.
My state of consciousness is the highest.
I say what the sequence and scales are.

Me resorting to porn? No; instinctively correctly gravitating away from loser demons drama…and toward healthy therapeutic balancing exhilarating natural attraction and love and peace.

Writing my wants down…like the ambi typist said…45 times or however much it was…was just another way to torture me by getting me to focus on wants, not haves/accomplishments.
And what happened? I followed the instructions, she/it did not help manifest the vision/want, and it didnt manifest.
Thus she/it is evil, useless, wrong, and a liar.
…but that still skyrocketed my progress, as i severed all ties/comms w her/it.

As btr as montana is to indiana, my 1st rp since the start of 2022 was Way btr, nearly Perfect. This a Great sign.
So surely…realAmbi and sabrina etc are all now just as improved, even more perfect than when i last saw them…

Does S’ have a power, too? Is he secretly aware and just playing nice? Doesn’t matter. I’m here. Proceed to next milestone. Amen.

the porn and fleshlight were never “escapes” or pitfalls; they were blessings, tools, lifesavers, distractions-removers, superpowers, etc.,
and I harnessed them like Vril.
go, me.

the skyblue paint in the bedroom here… reminds me of that classroom/ssp ‘dream’ from back during high school.
interesting.

living near Paradise Valley; another great sign.
even a phase3 name

got 2.5 sexy-ish females enjoying ERP with me right when I wanted it;
the cat,
the party slut from last year,
and now the blonde Amarr who agreed to rp at some point.
and I noticed that the time it takes them to reply/post… is perfect for me clearing out my emails and sorting my text files.
good times.

no dejavu on the 1st fire I made in here 🙂
and two sluts RPing with me, one snuggling as we fall asleep on my suite bed, finally making a memory i WANT in that place.
gorgeous hyper-rich Montana paradise terrain and blue sky outside my windows.
full belly.
taxpayers paying most of my bills.
bitches nowhere to be seen –including rude ambi/typist (until she learns how to treat ppl well).
latest Wild Life downloaded with ease, working on the first try.
pc-shutoff issue figured out; was too warm on my lap/bed.
fire-alarms figured out and silent again.
Antarctica documentary on the giant flatscreen tv.
can’t complain.
life is good.

after what i’ve witnessed humans doing… in all lands…
idk if i’ll EVER feel attracted to them again.
but who knows?
i suddenly upgraded from worst-ever indiana…to best-ever rich-montana…
so… maybe there still is hope;
maybe suddenly miraculously ppl i actually like… who treat me how i want to be treated… will show up and stay.
it is certainly possible… after this latest relocation i pulled off.

the resumed ERP helps… but i sure would rather have the real thing.
if only i had the power to ensure it was always how i want, never used to get things from me.

finally getting the sexy rp i’d wanted since 2001…
22 years later. what the hell.
it is nice… but double-edged; keeps making me wish humans hadn’t been so shitty; i really wanted to do this IRL with a lot of them.
i guess this is just enough to keep me sane/going while i wrap up the last of my wrap-up.
it works.

Ambi saying she was learning how to wield a little ice and fire…
now makes me believe she was saying she, being Time Incarnate, can now cause seasons; seasons didn’t always exist, and now it is possible for the temperature wherever she (time) is… to be fluctuated just enough to cause them, but not enough to freeze/burn/damage things.

The one who I said/sensed was Time Herself… was the one who lasted/RPed with me, by far, the longest : )

The winter started to fade where I was, and then I got to relocate back to Big Sky / YC, where the winter was still in full swing,
thus from my POV the winter re-surged, not unlike when Ambi RP-entered with that gust of cold, shouting, “NO!” to help protect me.
So now the snow/cold/winter always makes me think of Her, my #1 beloved, High Queen of all time and realms, as if it is actually her, or at least her magic, ensuring I am not seduced/distracted/derailed.
Amen.

The raven which landed on the roof here and cawed… also reminded me of her, as someone last month said/wrote that sometimes Morrigan (her former name) comes in that form/shapeshift.
I choose to see reality/life this way; things as signs, and animals not just as a generic sign/theme, but as specific beings/deities paying their respects to me, greeting me, cheering me on, being loving to me, showing me their true/other forms, etc.

I’m beYond finishing touches now; all i am doing is icing an already iced and perfect cake. Amazing feeling being here. I really stayed with it and completed it beyond my wildest initial dreams.

I am proud i risked my life again; coming here w so little money, i could have frozen.
Risking meeting more humans…
But it has worked out so far.
And thank fucking GOD i dont have any fucked up roommate or neighbors.

The most beautiful women in the world have been trying to get w me for years. I just wish i could trust them…or remain too powerful for them to ever fk with.
Their kind keep showing me they have no sense or manners or reliability…
Utterly offputting.
As disappointing as it gets.
Will they Ever b good at anything?

What a fucked up tradeoff; finally have peace and quiet here…but that makes the ringing sound louder. God sure is a worthless asshole like that.

If i didnt have to work, i would never go out again; i am as sick of the humans as can be. That definitely works in my favor in phase2; it ensures my work gets wrapped up soon as posb, but still.

Every planet is now a prison cell block, and every being, including the gods, is now a prisoner on death row, and the only way anyone anywhere can ever earn a parole hearing is good behavior, and good behavior is only doing what I want them to, and them claiming they are trying is bad behavior, because good beings always just know what I like and do it, needing no training, and wanting no chitchat.
This even includes ambi, sabrina, you name it; all of reality is now a prison for anyone and everyone who isn’t what i like.
No more will iii ever prove myself to others, such as by returning to schools.
I am the standard now.
I am the king.
All must prove themselves to me.
Amen.

Once again, the ppl playing eve…ruined it; disgusting pic links, etc.
Thank god they are filtered; kept at bay from me, unseen.
And the new graphics driver…apparently causing that game to turn off even when the pc temp is normal…may be another sign i am not meant to rp there anymore, even w the nice catgirl added.
Even w the filter, humans keep making it too offputting to be worth my time.
I should be Paid to rp w them…
Maybe they will start offering that.
I could always ask for ISK…since i write my characters there as ICVs/whores : )

Work is starting right on time, or even a few days b4 i needed it; i will be out of cash/credit by the time paycheck one reaches my acct. Interesting.
Another decent alignment.

If ambi or the others had come already, i would not have had the time and quiet to get that wave of updates done which i did this 1st weekend. But i cannot be grateful to them…bc idk if they r even real ppl; how do i know they r not looped robot NPCs like in indy? And how do i know they r not evil and just waiting…?
All i know is what iii am doing.
I suppose i could choose to beLieve what they r up to, but…either way, good or bad, or spellcrafted by me or still entirely under their own control, it would still be just another thing i dont need to distract/stall myself by thinking about.

The lfb and fake sis demons were in an suv in the dream this early predawn, and i am glad my instinct there got me to tell them to stop asking about stuff; i told them i would not talk about personal stuff, such as work, friends, money, etc., and they actually shut up for once. Decent phase2 sign/improvement there.

more dejavu. amazing; the convo at the office after the paperwork; about my TOW gunning past…
how can they not remember?
how can it repeat like this?

getting a phone like i’d hoped; not waiting 90 days for one. good.
necessary.
…why no ambi/fam/inisfree, though?
……and since i am remembering having Gotten this place and job years ago… why the hell didn’t i hold ON to it?

everything on tv sucks. it’s such a phase2 sign/thing, having a badass tv… but everything on its channels is disgustingly inappropriate.
so much like ambi and the others; LOOKS perfect/badass, but behaves like GARbage so far. :/
wtf.
I guess still works out; ensures I wrap up what’s left on my pc.

–
The dog at the store was really friendly.

I was dreading more un-ideal rp…but it turned out really well…and even sweet.
Made a new Discord friend, too, and a new EVE friend.
The Discord one is being helpful, reminding me what her fetishes are. I really like when girls communicate and help.

I found the best Jaina porn/vision ever.

I had a fantastic homecooked Brussels sprouts meal.

I got the iron fireplace figured out, and warmed my feet well this 2nd time using it this 2nd time living here.

The full moon is bright and beautiful, and makes the thick snow terrain look magical.
It is lonely again, but still so picturesque here.

I told all my loves/girls I love them and wish we were together already. I hope they heard…even though i said it alone here.

I am going back up into yc in a few hours!

I guess if I made it this far, I should have some faith again…

–
going into their homes without them there was so nice!
just what i prefer rn –especially after seeing their fug pics.

deja vu from the convo about diet and digestion on the way back.
(*but last time; back in 2017/2018?, I told him to eat lean meat; I wasn’t fully vegan-aware yet; this time, I just kinda agreed w/ him but inside knew the meat stuff was not correct.)
deja vu at the last house of the day; the 2 ppl there, especially the convo w the guy in the dim room before leaving.
deja vu about the candy bowl and then having them on my countertop here.

–
it’s funny how the 1st time i was here doing this, i was depressed…and apparently repressed it or almost forgot,
and now that i’ve seen what a dumb bitch ambi and the typist are, i’m glad i’m back, and i’m not that lonely for her;
her being a dumb bitch back then made this return/rd2 WAY easier. weird.
whatever.

–
it sure did pay off that i lost all attraction to the humans…
but now what do i do now that my life’s work spell/design/series/site is wrapped up, models and all?
is all there is… sampling these restaurants and working out and learning to ski?
i wanted to do that w ambi and our children… 🙁
smh
but my instinct told me to walk by her… and make Her introduce Herself… since she chose to hide and not be honest like me…
and that instinct was just as strong and unilateral/specific as it was when it was time for me to become a warrior/Marine… and That paid off Perfectly; in and out, single enlistment, no injuries.
it also stopped me from taking any more of that fake medicine.
and even though i ended up with the ringing, that paid off by making me wary of ALL the pharma bs… until i had learned why ALL of it is a scam, not just “accidental”.
anyway, with my instinct telling me to hate her for not being equal/fair w me…
what more can i do here… but work and workout?
:/

–

–
i remember the short car hot-face tan-blonde vulcan-eyebrows teen from last time i was here working the first week for them. interesting that even She looped.

–
it isn’t just i who should be grateful; They should be grateful that a guy like Me is here; patient, flexible schedule, staying put, caring about the homes, not wanting to chat w the clients, etc.; I’m a godsend.

–
i wonder today if all of the last several years was Ariel… using her illusion superpower… to make sure i never meet actual ppl not controlled by ambi… bc ambi wants me guaranteed all to herself.

–
maybe her typist wasn’t connected w her…
and it really was somehow just coincidence…
and maybe she is an actual angel… and can only show up so much.
maybe her typist intentionally said everything she knew would bother me… so i’d let go… since the real her was there, and i’d told her (the typist).
maybe.
but that’s not the vibe i got.
and they still made it clear they spied on me.
and it still doesn’t explain her bad behavior to me in person.
and it doesn’t excuse the disgusting monstrosity that offensively waved at me twice; both times i ended up in that blob-monster fail-indy park/festival.
and it still should never have been based on RP… and should never have ended in rudeness and lies and breakup and bad in-person shit.
so…
I remain glad I cut that bitch off, blocking the typist and walking by the spoiled heartless cunt in person.
just another pretty face with a severe attitude defect/disorder. nothing new.
neat that she was the perfected version of the character’s/typist’s play-by, but other than that? just another typical/basic bitch, worthless and wrong in so many ways.
and that aint me trying to justify my choice/s so i’ll feel less sad; that’s the vibe-truth.

the squall today (day 4 of week 1 of working here this loop / 2nd time) now, at 7pm, reminded me of ambi rushing in with that magic cold gust in rp.

just when I thought I’d seen it all, I witness a perfect loop of an entire year or more in Indiana, followed by a perfect loop of my attempt to settle in Big Sky half a decade ago.
I wonder what it means…

“red-matter” in Star Trek… is another hint about how powerful the blood of gods is.

Once again, I get angry/energized at ambi and the others not yet being here, and at the loop/repeat of the lame humans,
but end up drafting my own superior version of the Starfleet General Orders and other directives/rules. lol
interesting.
I always make things work…
and maybe the others not being here… is because they can tell this is my nature… and maybe because some of them can also see forward through time, thus they are respecting what I am creating and will create.

–
m’ is stupid and rude, defaulting to extreme negative, talking shit about big houses, fireplaces, anything he doesn’t have, etc.,
and he is dead-wrong to assume I am like him, and that I will “never” have an expensive/big house, or a heated roof, etc.,
but that is what helps keep breeders like him weak, and gods like me strong.
so… whatever.
he can talk all the shit he wants; it is only spells which will keep Him down, and me not wasting time helping him.
he’s just a loop/NPC, anyway.

–
The work keeps me from burning out at my desk all day. It also keeps me so mobile and occupied that the depression and anger dont settle in as much.

Finally getting bk n these houses i always love.

Btwn my 1st time here…and now…ambi introduced me to a dozen other characters; maybe she had just wanted to softdisclose them to me in order to calibrate/train them to my liking. I sure hope she was just making sure we were fully aligned so there will be only good interactions in person forever.

Luna typist saying she is 5’2″ is wonderful : )
Way btr than i expected.

Damn dogs barking on night after shift 1.

Full moon tonight; evening 7march2023, and so curiously timed; ushering in a new ch…now that i have settled n and started work and liked it.
Not loved, but liked and accepted it as a stepping stone…even w its loop/repeat.

Hearing they only use their house once a year…
I am happy for those who worked that hard that they have that much spare money.
I am impressed at their style, and at the fine work of the designer/architect, builders, landscapers, etc.
I am relieved i get to go in their nice houses often.
I like that someone else handles talking to them.
I note how close i am to being their friends, not just their help.
We must not be Meant to be friends yet, given their behavior and diets, but at least i am here again.
In a way, They are My helpers; they r funding me, they made those places i dreamed of, etc.
And the ones w health issues…r still a good sign; they r paying for their diets and brainwashing.

Hearing there are mics and cameras in most places…lol is amusing, and a nice headsup, and makes me wonder why they dont realize i too am monitoring/observing/judging them.
It works both ways.
Only dif is i dont use tech as a crutch.
Vibes tell far more.
Plus they Should hear how they eat garbage. As a diet expert, i am always right to square away / enlighten those who r prob too intimidating to others to ever hear from them what they need to make them think.

So much is now perfect;
location, rental, furnishings, temp, food i wanted to try, Abe’s muffins back, vehic empty and clean, decent pay, increased passive income, site wrapped up, outdoors work, solo work, inspiration every shift, …and only the ppl need to be replaced w those who are worthy of me; those who will be the first who behave correctly.
So i guess i am closer than ever…

I wonder what made me decide to leave last time…
I wonder what made me decide to accept the 20k less…
I did a great job recording and remembering a lot. Just somehow i didnt back then record accepting that job or why i left.
Whatever happened, i like being back.
The terrain and architecture make up for the typical NPCs.
Nowhere else made me smile like this area does.
I only wish i had superpowers so i could force it to be only those i like here.

I hate still having to water myself down in convo…and hide who i am…and suppress my holy instinct…but in a way i like being that strong…and tricking the dumb animals, etc.

Even though the ppl r still fools, and mostly fugs, at least i rarely ever have to be around them; just for a few mins n half the mornings, etc.
So 90ish% is now right; the times when i am away frm them.

Their kind completely and permanently killed any interest/desire i once had n them; after seeing how wrong their bodies r under their clothes…and how they behave…and how retarded and gross their cities all were, they will never again have my attn or love or help.
I am glad now…that none hired me to consult; they were unworthy of my expertise, and my own project was the only one that was worth my time.

My mind still going to ariel and ambi each night and morning…is fine; bc it is to the vision/idea of their Good version/s, not to a hope or addiction to the evil dumbass typist. I dumped the evil and blocked it, and i kept only the pure good.
Amen.

Humans still being rude dumbasses… keeps my life’s work getting polished to perfection faster than ever.

A fireplace and chilling each evening is nice. Finally i get to slow down to a normal speed; no more packing my days and nights w work.

I was never the one going too fast; it was them; i always wanted to slow down and enjoy love w them, and they always wanted me to speed up and breed way too soon.
They always walked in by.
They even gaslighted me, pretending i was clinging when i was actually just being loving.

Telling me to do Anything is demonic.
It is impossible for me to talk shit; only others can do things negatively; everything i say and do is right.
Being neg about anything i do is demonic, retarded.

Goats were n way during rd1 w forever grn. Then not there when rd2 eli. Now on hillside out if way n this, rd3.

Dejavu frm meeting amy at office on day2…

Amb’ way btr than thought, but troll jen dumbo y lab meat lie. What a loser. Then amazing mansions…dejavu of orange fleece overheating n first big. Saw bunks and thought of kids. Saw scooter powerwheels reminder in basement of 6 Hitch.

I rmbr noting her low ass, etc; same oddity as w jadar

Didnt want airport run, and didnt have to. Wanted yc, and we r going n 1st thing. Didnt have to ask.

Dejavu meeting james n red hall mansion

Was so nice seeing the yc pre entrance mirrored wood lantern posts.
Was so nice seeing the familiar diagonal slope on way out if yc.

Driving alone on day2. Awesome

Hundreds dollars free food

Exact same ladder bulb issue, same convo about him about to get a mercedes, and having gotten nose surgery and finally able to breathe, and same m’ meeting at dumpy place…and same shitty lunch there, but last time i had a powerade or something…and was crying. And last time i met amb’ and drove her dn n my jeep…but this time it is her white truck. So it is a loop, and they r robots prob, but some things r dif.

Katy perry uphill hopefully a fuckbuddy.
In the house i instinctively liked and pic-ed

I was glad to hear some ppl invite us over for drinks, not needing anything fixed. Hopefully i will make friends this time. Ones i actually like.

Got phone 90 days early, so no worry about my phone pics, and offered ski pass, and 1st yc handshake

Deja vu all day. Carrying firewood in twin black bundle bags and “dumpiest” comment. How th f

I rmbr being at the dump house last time…and carrying the firewood was harder…and i was very sad…and this time idc… Interesting.

Kate Perry should have her hair long and invite me in to fuck.
Every hottie female should sense me and invite me in to fuck.
Every male should invite me to review and select from all their females.
And everyone should be happy no matter my ways and decisions.

Another loop change; amb’ didnt come; old guy drove their nice suburban here.
Interesting minor chgs.

No, i rmbr it was him last time. Same red pants and convo.

Forced air propane, not hot water; his recommendation for heating my home here

Even w the loop…it isnt creepy, just convenient, and feels way less and than last time, and gives me EXACTLY what i wanted to do here anyway; paid to orient, and seeing inspiration without fugs.

Figured out the shower morning smoke detector thing; fan on, door closed

Amy is exactly the height all girls/women SHOULD be.
At least there is some decency there.

I dont drink any of the bottles or cans i got offered, but it makes my fridge look less desperate.
It is also a total loop of rd1 here… : /
but i have learned if i ignore the robo “ppl” and stay longer, more gets offered, and i get more wrapped up.
…i wonder why i am being shown these ppl r not ppl but a loop…

Now that i have seen the loop is the same here as it was in indiana, i feel even Less desire to ever talk to anyone,
but it shows me i was right all along, just as i knew, and that it was just that others were looped to be negative for no reason.
I never fell short.
I never explained anything wrong.
They were just mindless NPCs like i suspected.

I love how calla checked on me…and wasnt clingy…and said she would count down to the weekend when we can rp.
If only hotties in person did that : /

I got multiple food offers…and the promise of more anytime it becomes available

2 new sparkling waters free to try and good enough for my groc

Relieved i got into the yc…and that i am not working there; i want it to be for living, not working.
I had worried i might see ambi there…in a bad way. : /

It was a relief to see some hotties going through moonlight y yc, and the fit normal owner son, but his woman was not ideal…which makes me almost worry about or pity him…
So much here still has to change (calibrate to my will).
Will it this time?

After more than a year and a half of loop, i can see i was right to stop making any effort, and right to ignore all the idiots demanding money they didnt deserve; as loops, they are literally mindless, thus negotiating is pointless.
Ignoring humans really has been the only way to get any peace.
Even when they offer me decent tiny gifts, what good is it?; it doesnt heal the damage they did, or make up for the time they ruined, or get me my home and family, or show me loyalty and intelligence and hope.
I am a real hero and hercules for how many decades i tried to spread/manifest good, esp given what i now know; that they were looped to Never reciprocate or help hold any vision.

Hearing katy perry lives here did nothing for me; after her bad songs and awful hairstyle etc. …it would take a miracle for her to regain any attractiveness in my eyes.

I wonder if anyone is real now… and, if any are, which are monitoring this. They are fools, either way; they wouldnt have needed to monitor a thing if theyd been good to me and sane and logical and normal.
Then again, maybe tsb was just a mindless loop, too; maybe he never spied at all. Given how retarded he always was, it wouldnt surprise me if he was just programmed to lamely try and intimidate ppl…no matter What i ended up doing or DLing.

Seeing the giant icicle and other issues…is neat; it shows me into the elite homes, and how to design my own.
Seeing even they r looped…freed me from my rage and envy of them.

If all the humans are looped, maybe the nonhuman animals and gods are, too.

Will i recall day3 as a loop frm several yrs agl, too?
How Many days…?
And if they r not mindless robots, …how are they paid or coordinated or mindcontrolled to loop this completely?

Did ambi not appear at this milestone…bc she has abandoned me?
or bc she likes hurting ppl?
or bc she is busy or at war?
or bc something more powerful than her has not approved it?
or bc i didnt need her reappearing to keep me going?
or bc she is here, and only appeared to me elsewhere n hopes of steering me here to her?
Idk…
After how she behaved and allowed her typist to treat me, it doesnt matter anymore.

Hearing about other exclusive neighborhoods, such as The Village, is nice; helps me plan trips and takeovers/calibrations –and acquisitions.

Being given headsups on personalities, and thoughtfully asked for patience, is nice.

Doesnt matter if some yc homes’ exteriors are not the color scheme i prefer; mine will be / is, and i chose that neighborhood. My focus remains.

Amb’ and Je’ names at work… Another disgusting attempt of the humanimals/robots to mimic/plagiarize my writing?

I just realized that her typist threatened to make everything shadowy/dark…to see what i’d do…and said “boooo” when i said i would still love her; i was still bright/positive, which she reacted negatively to, bored with it.
Vs: i threatened to make everything bright; nukes, etc.
Interesting…
…
And i wonder why she kept wanting “her dark king”…while i kept wanting her whole and balanced; why the imbalance? Why that partial alignment?
Do i interpret that as her rejecting my light side…or as her dark side rejecting it…or do i interpret that in a good way; as her embracing my darkside like i embraced hers? She did seem to mirror/mimic; when i did something, she did it next…

The neg temps here feel fine.
The slick roads/slopes are great prac…and reminders my repulsine traffic is necessary on the steep GAH sections.

Only all i do is ascension and enlightened and effective.
Any who claim anything else is better/holy are demonically against me.

Those who demonized my correctness as being godmode-ing or “trying to control everything”…boil down to being default-neg always-wrong mindless-NPCs demonically against me.
They boil down to trying to Stop Anyone from doing Anything, thus they are attempting to maintain or cause chaos, the opposite of balance/control.
I was wise to dump them and start my Own site.
Amen.

Being told there is a Shelby Cobra here…is nice…but…not really; just another cocktease like any hot bitch w shit beliefs.
Might as well be an ambi, what with what a dickhead she turned out to be so far.
Favorite car…can’t have it, and not given it.
Favorite woman…but stupid, rude, gaslighting, and useless up until now.
Fuck phase2.

And “fuck phase2” is what leads to / mandates / forces / invites phase3.
Settling is suicide.
Focus is all.

One of my pairs of underwear has Brightburn colors and marks, more or less.

I keep getting even better sleep here than i did in quiet indiana.

Such amazing breakfasts i make every day… : )
I really always have taken such excellent care of myself.
If only ambi and my other loves would arrive now so we can offer that level of love and healing and support to each other.
I want them in my life daily now.
It is time.
I know it.
The club models and book edits are easy and can be done w them present often.

I wonder how many days i will have dejavu here, remembering when i came in my jeep before the utah trade-in…
I know i never got to try the restaurants that time…
It will be great to try them now.
And great to finish orienting so i am calm and confident when my hotties unite w me.

I keeping getting the thought that she was just finding my triggers and limits…bc she wants to make sure she never reaches them irl…bc she Does want to be my wife forever…
and that she knows my dick and all, and has already accepted it/me…
and that she knew pushing me away when she did…would result in my greatest wrapup, thus me being ready to focus on Her from now on, which she and I Both want and need and deserve…
so I hope like hell she returns and is nice this time, not just pretty.

“Not much snow last year.” Last year ambi was happy w me. Lol. 2021-2022 winter.
…
This year we had 3 arctic blasts; the year i dumped and blocked her and talked shit to give her a taste of her dumb bitch typist’s medicine –and to repay her for her cold bullshit in person. 2022-2023 winter.

Seeing the longtable here…reminds me of my icgm dining table : )

Caring for jockos house lol neat
But all i care about is meeting the good v of ambi…and having a fam of my own to care for…and to care for me for a change.
No matter how famous or rich anyone anywhere is, it just doesnt interest me…unless we are sharing the same values and project.
…
I guess it’s still a nice step to be helping better / harder-working / more-clever people with their beautiful homes.
Even though they may all be robots/looped/mindless/NPCs, it’s still a BIG and GREAT next step.
even if it’s a repeat-step; part of this loop, it’s still so nice to be back in this air and valley and neighborhood.
it’s as close to Inisfree as I’ve seen ANYwhere in the States –or the world.

206lbs w boots. I like that weight. Feels good.

Hearing how it can be depressing seeing these nice houses…Would b kinda nice, coming from a coworker, bc hearing someone else say my own thoughts, but…it is a loop, so npc, so meaningless now.

Dejavu on “they know how to party; i have been here at 10am and they are already drinking”

“Stop explaining yourself” is neg; phase1; demonic bullshit.
Neutral phase2 would have been “noted. Understood.”
Phase3 correct is: “you are so thoughtful to explain yourself, esp after how no one has deserved such help and patience.”

The stops r so perfectly coincidentally timed; for notes, rest, snack, photos, reporting, farting. Maybe i am manifesting them…

Strong. Garage 1 is 1111, middle is 2222

S’. Strong, every monday 7am garbage out, then return later to put bins n garage

Dejavu about telling m’ barn rental, and his reaction, and him needing to eat, and him making tunafish sandwich and eating downstairs, sitting in same spot on couch, and me at table by window. Wow. Lol

Got free skis!

M’ not liking the rich lol…but they r eXactly who i deserve to be friends w and hooked up by.
And them being particular is what manifests exact, not the sloppy lame gross chaos others manifest.

Childrens books
Mikey and the dragons, by jocko willink
The nighthark’s harmonic

Thu9mar2023
Memtag clone mod tan blonde vulcan eyebrows short car exiting big sky near gas station as m’ and i entered after shoveling river cabin. 5pm ish. Icv dir formsake

I believe i went early and did the trash alone n the dark or predawn last time. This time, didnt have to, and got a pair of skis instead.

It’s funny how seeing hot chicks now:
1) only reminds me how worthless they are until totally controlled/collared,
2) calms me down, reassuring me that I live where there are correct-looking females,
and 3) simultaneously enrages me, due to how they are behaving and have always behaved.
what a duality/tri-ality.
oh and 4) reminds me they are likely only meaningless robots/NPCs/looped

–
Even though m sees some as a “svc bitch”, i am doing BLOPS : )
I chose this.
I am inspired by it.
I am enjoying Numerous cabin mansions without paying for them…and without having to network w the humanimals.
And the elites r covering my groceries and skis.
Win.
Not what i want, but a good step in that direction; almost tithing.
Once it is tithing via giving me all their hotties etc., then i will feel even btr.
…i wonder how many shakes they will need to learn how to behave.
Just focusing on what i deserve has not yet been enough to manifest it; they always eventually call for a shake.
: )
And if there really r no coincidences, i am really glad i can do that.

As usu, another hideous freak and liar shows up to ruin things where i try to work. Thank fucking god i am almost never around the thing.
Jesus.
What a standard failure of god and man.
Absolutely pathetic.
Prob a demon trying to cost me the foothold.
Whatever.
Hopefully itll get karmaed right back out asap.

Wouldnt surprise me if m is secretly a veteran or at least a scout for jocko.
If only he and the others did their hw by getting to know me the normal way.
But whatever.
It is still a next step…even tho they r looped like those in indiana
Weird.

I decided that even if things dont go well, i would rather be here than anywhere.
Should i have that same mindset w ambi?; even if things dint go well, i would be happiest seeing Her every day?
Maybe…but i’ve never been disrespected and betrayed by montana scenery; i Have by the goddamn human Women.
Decisions, decisions…
Hotties seem to be the only way out of the grind and fugs…but they have never once behaved or proven useful.
Things r gross w the fugs, but have been catastophic w the bitches.
Maybe the only salvation…is me…and to keep “doing my time”…at least n this end of phase2.

Such a nice convo w calla…
If only it was irl, not just ooc.
If only sabrina and the others were as compatible w me as her.

Learning so much useful for my own cabin mansion…and seeing which areas have the best views, ans which have the best houses…
Such a good fit rn.
Not ideal, but clearly aligned and useful.
The extreme usefulness of all this…makes the fug/liar bearable. Easily.

I am glad not to b working in the yc; i want to learn the basics where i am going here, and have the yc see me as an equal and owner.
This is good.

It was nice to joke w james…and have my joke received well…and have his tier initiate handshake etc.
I am so ready to shift to only being around such wise and successful ppl. I have waited so long.

Waking up naturally before my alarm is so great.

Dejavu from hearing about the guy who showed up stinking of booze.

When They are ready iii will always be here. Only a dumbass would default to claiming iii need to become ready for Others. Doc2 was gaslighting.

Typist claiming she has only had 15 partners, and 13 were me…bc i had access to all her characters…could be her covertly indirectly revealing she is a shapeshifter and All those were her forms…
or it could be another attempt to convince me to allow many types of women…so i would end up spawning w at least one of them.
Still no vibe or reason to trust their kind.
And how retarded (bad sign, IOW) ot is that for 40 yrs straight…Thousands of them kept doing the same one approach that always failed; that shows loop, not learning, not effort, not care, not intelligence, not them even making the slightest effort to get to know me or cater to me.
And they shouldnt even Have to get to know me; all sexy females should Naturally do what i want them to.
Until they always do, never needing to be asked, they are not my ppl, thus unworthy.

It doesnt matter if some or all are looped or robots or whatever else. What matters is which finally treat me the way i require them to treat me.

I never had a “tall order” / “big ask”; my ask is a command, for 1, and 2: it is normal, and 3: the only tall order was Them wanting Me to stoop to Breeding More of their dependent, mindless, worthless kind.
My ask/command is to fix theirs/them.

It is not the days after ambi; ambi has not yet introduced herself; she has only shown me she exists.
It is the days beFore ambi.
It is the days After the bitch Typist.

Calling me her dark king…
and encouraging what she did in rp w some of her characters…
Could mean she was trying to bait me into the kind of freedom trap the “ppl” of this world have always defaulted to laying; showing me something good, then screaming and threatening me the moment i try to accept it.
But i could also interpret her rp as embracing the full me,
and loving even my roughest moments,
as she Did also encourage my gentle and fam side; via ambi and ashton.
So…
But it doesnt matter now; she crossed so many gross lines, and is gone, and deserves to be.
So all this analysis is just to clear my head and pass the time.

“Did you think it would be easy?” Apparently You/She did, as ambi showed up and didnt even make an Effort to speak to me. She assumed her looks were enough, even after making me wait a Decade.
She will Never be worthy of me now, even IF she was just giving me space to complete my design/spell.

I wonder if the bug on the wall the morning of shift 4 in week 1 was also part of the loop…and if the toddler pissing beside his parents dark station wagon in front of the hardware store was, too.

I rmbr coming up here to the crain cul de sac n my jeep…wow.

Nice that my new vehic has the apple charger i needed; no need to buy.
If only i was already at the point where i never need to buy Anything again; when All i want, and Every girl i ever wanted, is given.

Things sure have gotten btr since i started surging my energy by cursing the false/failure god/s. : )
Note how Everything failed And got worse when i was polite and loyal to them.

Getting to deuce liesurely in the best homes…is nice.
Being told to spend an hr in each…and to familiarize/orient like i wanted to anyway, also nice.
Told to see their hot daughters pics. Another step toward being told to Have their hot daughters.
And i love that memory is so good i instantly remember/recognize day-by-day stuff. For ex, this Friday, day4 of wk1, i was here the first time…n my orange fleece…trying to figure out this same blinds batts issue.
Lol at the loop. Was bothering me a bit in indiana, but here it is just amusing and a good memory test/proof.
I wonder if week2 will feel familiar, too…

Seeing there are btr houses in Moonlight is surprising and nice.

Being told where the cams are is nice, but that could be a trick to me or to bshm; there could be other or actual cams and mics elsewhere.
Or everywhere lol.

I rmbr the story of S’ flooding this place.
I rmbr not finding batts that work.
I rmbr the daughter pic taking at the other place.
Neat.
This is similar to that movie where Nicholas Cage could repeat any period of time in order to see if dif decisions produced btr results.
Maybe it is ambi helping me w her True Brujah power…and maybe it is me noticing and honing my own.
Maybe both.
Why not

No longer caring about ambi…while having plenty to wrap up…= zero sadness this time, and all chill vibe.
Not ideal…but at least not sad either.

Now seeing all clients…and where billionnaires are beyond here…is a neat step And repeat.
But since all are looped, all may be fake.
May just be a/the standard honeypot or fake-sloppiness (poor security) test to see what i do with it.
How convenient for me that i dont care…and that i already saw how much of a stall scam networking w looped NPCs is.
Back during rd1 of being here, it seemed hopeful and bittersweet.

“Joe rogan podcast changed our world” lmfao wtf??? It didnt change a thing!

“Nice ppl”? No one is nice unless they are what i am attracted to; physically and doing what i want them to, i.e. living by my culture.

Fri10mar2023
1:35pm memtag clonemod. On way dn from attempted driveway 850 fortress. Cute short preteen tan blonde smile in white blue beanie ski jumpsuit walking n line of elem kids who did honk gesture and cheered. I rmbr how it briefly improved my mood when last i was here. Still the loop, tho : /

Black guy asleep and heavy weed stench at bellissimo is same. More loop. Last time it saddened and angered me. This time my only thought was that i hope my daughters come here to fuck them all lol.

Rose to 38f. Feels amazing. Perfect temp

Same redhead fug bitch behind lodge restaur. Same dennis-like beanie middleaged white guy walked out when i shoveles toward orange and white stick marker. Same convo about the weed in there. And that giy made a phone call oitside the front door like before. All same. Loop. Lol. So weird.

More dejavu. Lastminute turn to see a “mountain home” 3story, owners never there, invented a gym rowing machine. Just chill like last time while he shovels. Perfect timing to deuce in silent peace. No sadness this time, though; just cool to be back, again without having to deal w any fug humanimals. I keep getting into all these nice places for free and paid.
It seems to indicate that even when I say something I don’t really want, or say something in a different way, or am chill, or not paying attention, or whatever else, ppl still end up steering me away from what I don’t want/need.
It is nice when the NPCs help me AVOID extra work, and get to long-earned/deserved rest/space/quiet.

Didnt have to see S’ or amb’ or stp today, and witnessed the 3pm exit time of jnfr. Useful and refr3shing chg.

I hear the yippy little rodent dog through the wall at this “mntn home”, and no longer envy them at all.

All this may seem like another bs round of depressing lowpaying slave work, but it still keeps me active, learning, elasticizing my mind, and in beautiful homes which inspire me.
Even if the ppl r like West World robots, it is still way btr in most ways here than everywhere else i have been.
It is the right place for me to rest and finally unwind.

Last time…i ended up deciding to deuce in the highest toiletroom, too, and my legs or feet got sleepy tibgly bc i cleared my phone notes after deucing.
This time, however, it occurred to me that the reason to stay put a while…is bc i first have to manifest where i like being, then my income there, and Then the ideal ppl/play/distractions/life can manifest.
It is always in order of need to want, never reverse.
Even when some hotties appeared b4, it was n passing…bc i Really wanted them…but i had other needs/priorities.
Interesting.
But that makes me wonder if my loves will re-leave / un-manifest…if ever things become financially unstable again. : /
Maybe not in phase3… : )
In phase3…They will b the ones helping stabilize/fund me.

Free ottoman coming up : )
Good for this waypoint foothold
that technically means the richest ppl in the world are donating their finest furniture to me.
“the meek shall inherit the earth”
…oh, wait; now that I think about that saying/claim/passage, it sounds like it could actually mean “if you are a pussy, you will die; get buried”

I hated how he asked about my passive income. No one’s business.
Sounded like he might be trying to see if he can still get rent if he fires me.

My memory is so good/sharp, i instantly remembered the diagonal log on fire in this wood stove from last time.

No dejavu at all on the new images album for my 4 kids’ GFs.

A bigscreen tv and a job from the start…even w these ppl i apparently left last time…is neat…and kinda cush…but i didnt ask for this; i resorted to it when what i Did ask for was not honored/given.
Why give me more of what i didnt ask for and dont want?
I want the yc and ambi.
And inisfree.
Whatever. Just more of god failing and being shitty.
At least the awareness of the loop has spared me from any urge to fuck or care; these robots are just regurgitating things which no longer stir my blood as much, as they r said by mindless nodes, not wayward/demons.

I rmbr how that pricy meh veggie burger scared and saddened me last time; i had no money left for food for the coming week, i believe.
This time, it was just like “whatever; just seeing if that place still sucks, and, this being a loop, ofc it does lol”.

For every second i hear the ringing or other ears/jaws bs, damn the remaining humans for another thousand years. And that starts with the very first second i heard ringing from the scam fake med; 2008 or 2009.
2023-2009 = 14 years; 441504000 seconds, thus
441,504,000,000 years of damnation so far… and counting.
Sucks to be them.

Finally got a free tv and cable and wifi…now that apparently distractions dont matter anymore, which signals to me my thinking/focus phase is done, so now it is being applied.
And the loop signals to me the humans’ weakness and mindlessness and obsolescence is confirmed,
so it will be emotionless as ever to finish purging them.

After that idiot regurgitated the “when covid hit” retardation, and after telling me he is nonvegan and a boozer, i lost any compassion i would have had if i also hadnt witnessed him being a loop.
Whatever; he is still showing me into plenty of inspiring places, and showing me places to avoid, and helping me avoid that damn office even more.
It works enough for now.

I wonder why i left last time, though…
Did i make it through 2 weeks?
How long will i work w them this time?
Curious…

I let go of the antarc ushuaia relocation attempt…and ambi showed up again.
Now i have let go of Her…so will inisfree show up? Lol
Doesnt matter; sick of things not behaving/aligning.
But at least i am here again, and easily able to stay this time, and no longer heartachy for the bitch who always refused to reciprocate at all.
Maybe she couldnt back then, but she sure as shit should have now; wtf is the point in me seeing the mindless loop here, too?
Why am i not being invited by her into the home here her typist claimed we already own?
How i hate having to deal w bitches like that, and peasants, and this loop.
It doesnt have a bad vibe on it like last time, but it also doesnt have a good one.
I am owed a big explanation and apology and backpay.
I really hope i see these loopers purged, too.
If she returns and purges them in front of me…as part of her apology and proof of loyalty, good.

“The heart of a woman” can manifest this so it is no longer just an idea/dream? Horse shit; they caused only disasters that stalled me, pausing my work.
Their kind should be in chains forever.
MY heart manifested all the ideas and trips and victories and recoveries.
It apparently even manifested saBrina etC.
So… what good are the bitches?
They always say the opposite of what is true, such as by saying the opposite of what they are going to do. At least that’s how they were so Far.
I have no reason to trust them yet.

What bizarre bipolar idiot to be upset by trophy hunting…but not care at all about pointless rape and murder for “food” no one ever needed.

I would wonder if it bothers the jewlywood losers that none of their billions of dollars on lame cookiecutter “action” films ever interest me, but now that i have seen how mindless and looped the humans are…i am pretty sure they dont really feel anything at all, even though their loops make them Seem to get upset anytime i stand firm and do other good things.
So lame how all their films are the same one thing; attnwhoring explosions, meh computer graphics, ugly ppl, old women, jews, faggots, wimpy guys, tech dependency, fighting, infighting, etc.; all chaos and fail, and nothing good or normal or healthy or balanced at all.
Just like how they always tried to stir up bs w Me, they seem to only be able to produce stirred up shit in their boringly-predictable plots/shows.

When their (humans’) natural reaction is being as pleased with and proud of me all the time… as those before were autistically tantrumming aGainst me, Then i will be w my ppl.

Exodus canceled.
Rapture canceled.
Ambi canceled.
Not a single good being found…other than a handful of nonhumans, such as a bird here and there, or the nicest and rarest of the dogs and cats…
What a disappointment and disgrace all the humans and humanoids/hotties were…
Again, it resulted in me having nothing but time to polish up my work/spell to perfection-vibe, but still.
How i have hated them…
How my blood has always raged at their stupidity and rudeness and evil-vibe.

As long as there is a single ugly or rude one around, they are not ready/worthy.

I can’t wait to be working on my own, away from the covidiot nonvegan boozer fugtards.
Thank god this job is often a solo one.

I am now living amongst the elite…while they pay millions…and i am here almost rent free… XD
But it is never good enough until they all pay and worship me.
And until my body fully heals how i want it to.
And until All the girls i chose return and stay w me.
And until Inisfree is complete, and my ICVs w me daily.
And until Ambi loves me as much as I loved her.
And until Ambi shows me the house I showed her is ours like her message said.

With how ugly all those i have seen so far are, not to mention the loop, i do not envy their money or homes at all.
Hell, they might not even be Rich; that, Too, could be another faked thing.

–
sat11mar2023 is 2nd weekend since arrival, and 1st weekend making a fire all weekend here, starting n the morning, at least for this 2nd time living and working from this place.
Will be nice.

It’s okay for me to fantasize about what i love about her.
What’s not okay is tolerating her shit-head typist ruining every rp/moment with its immaturity.
What’s not okay is if i ever downplayed or was otherwise neg about how healthy, natural, and important focusing on what i love is and has always been.

Since they were spying on me, they know everything i want and like and asked for, and since they were clearly sending ppl to be where i was gonna be, that means they Chose to Not to do Anything they saw via spying i like, thus they are all unworthy, all to blame, and all traitors.
Purge them all.
Looped nothings anyway.

I hate that some r still nonvegan, but i love that it keeps killing them out of my way. If only i had superpowers to make them dead and extinct sooner.

Gordan Ramsay’s hypocrisy is through the roof; getting all teary-eyed at sharks being killed…while his shows and restaurants fund the identical rape, torture, and murder of countless others. Why cry for one animal species and not a dozen others?
What a fucking loser.
God, how i hate this retarded world.

Why give me a tv when every channel on it is disgusting evil?
Why show me all those hotties when every last one of them had the same severe mental defect?
Thank god (me) i had the intelligence and balls to resist and block all that.

It is nice to just lounge about for once and let my feelings run their course; no more trying to rein them in or reprogram myself. It was disrespectful to nature and myself to ever try to pitch to humans or be anything other than the real me.

–
I really needed this much time to get all my website and computer models and relocation/s in order.
Even if I hadn’t been sabotaged/betrayed as much, it still would have taken about this long; I needed sleep to reclear my head for each next vision/revelation part.
and if I hadn’t been betrayed like I had, I never would have made Inisfree’s walls, defenses, and other innovation as great, and I wouldn’t have drafted those super-spells for SRC and so on.
It all worked out.
I can now feel a bit grateful to the hotties who clearly knew who I was, and showed up when I really wanted to see them, even before I was ready to engage with them.

–
with the realization I should rewrite all Starfleet General Orders and more,
and the family-cabin features-update,
and the Persephone computer-model galley alcoves ceiling-corners missed-blocks spotted and fixed,
and the mechanical-room needed to be added to the Room Types directory,
I am swinging back to GLAD I am not yet in contact and relationships with the hotties who have manifested/shown up.

doesn’t really matter if the fox-girl is another loop-person / NPC / robot / whatever;
it helps take the edge off while I am establishing myself here.
and I needed to take a break from Ambi anyway; i had so much to do, and wanted to focus on her (which can only happen when my work is wrapped up), and the other hotties deserved some of my time, too.

the looped/bots/NPCs have prob figured out that the way to get me caught up with my spells/work…
is to say gross evil shit;
the typist today… prob didn’t really feel “genderfluid” or whatever she/it said; she/it prob just said that so i’d back off again, getting my errands done,
or, at least, that’s how things keep working out.

suddenly i have a cush job,
extra food in the pantry,
more firewood than I’ll ever need,
and the kind of cute sexy playful submissive little humanoid fuckbuddy i always go for.
and the best mountain/alpine/forest/snow views outside all my windows.
and no more druggie/shitty/fugtard neighbords to avoid smelling/seeing.
life got good.
not great yet.
not all issues/fuckups god caused…fixed yet.
but good. much better than just a couple weeks ago.

People aren’t just interested in artefacts; sometimes an interest indicates a calling, which can indicate connections such as ancestry. In other words, we may be related to the elements/energies of the pieces of the artefacts we find ourselves ‘discovering’ (a.k.a. the things which ‘call’ to us).
This may be our instinct to stay connected, and/or to put those pieces back together, reforming that which we were once part of; we were once more connected, like a collective or multi-bodied being –like the Elohim.

more major updates realized and completed;
the Comparisons webpg,
and finally adding text/details/finals/images to Luna’s and Mairi’s pgs.
stuff like this keeps reducing my hatred for/at ambi and the others; they stayed away, keeping my mind free to fill up with these necessary foundational things,
and my time free to be completely utilized for sleep, eating well, and this mega-spell wrap-up.

shifting to RP with Calla helped me spot a few more additions/touchups I can and should and shall make to Zedicon’s subpages : )

“you should be grateful”?
WRONG, servant-minded NPC; YOU should be grateful Iii am here,
and Iii should be whatever I FEEL like being.
WHATEVER my reaction is, THAT is what is moral/right.
I am Always what should be.
simple-minded default-gratitude servants/weaklings/humanimals. pathetic.
trying to tell gods what to feel and think and be and do.
ridiculous.
now I see why he got left.

it’s so nice to have forks again
and days off
and no panic about getting stuck in a hellhole
and decent ppl to rp with
and not being bothered by returning weirdos
and not having to fast or ration or starve all the damn time
and not having to pace my internet/hotspot usage
and feeling like my site is FINALLY DONE! 😀

aaaand ofc the humans ruin it again; great rp…now zero interest; weird kinks distorting the body.
why isn’t anyone just into normal healthy figures and interaction?
what the hell Happened to this species?? 🙁
ugh.
just another sign it isn’t time to interact.
christ.

Dejavu from the tall woman and airplane w boobsy prego slave…
and dejavu from the rp w calla introducing me to her owner who is unashamed and matches my intense sexuality…
Did this all loop, too?
Interesting.

Glad to finally have the luna and mairi dossier spells done.
That at least is Not a loop; they were not on my website until now.

I needed this time to go over luna’s profile again and again, and zed’s, etc., bc now they r way btr/sexier, etc.
Glad i got it.

Dejavu shake hands
heroin remark
acu recommendation
lox bagel dntn
ending up w crackers
Said sick last time, said bagel, didnt go. Ate bowl on table watxhing seinfeld last time. I was sad bc i didnt like the show. Loni anderson.
leafblower aim “test out real quick” joke same…
interesting.

Thursday 16 March 2023. another total repeat/loop.
3rd day of 2nd week was exactly the same as last time;
same White house, same shoveling a path before it,
same tan blonde biker-face rich-bitch at the Spanish Peaks club/restaurant,
same fat tan brunettes family entering as I exited,
same fugly midget balloon being shitty to me at the grocery store when I only asked for specials and coupons out of obvious support and curiosity.
but I am again taught not to be nice to anyone,
and that even the rich are fake/robots/looked,
so… more me ignoring everyone coming right up! lol
I KNEW that instinct was right!
…
found tons of great vegan food/’meats’ at the 1st store! so happy and relieved!

the fact these ppl were idiots to begin with,
and now have shown me they are not only idiots, but looped,
shows me there is no point at all in interacting with any of them,
or accepting any of their attempts at orders,
and certainly no point in publishing books for them to read.
it’s all for me now.
so be it.
should have been from the start, anyway; what with how abusive their dumbasses always were.

Maybe living by the boss…means it’ll work this time.
But i was here b4 and it didnt lol.

The idiot asking how much i make…was insanely inappropriate and creepy and a redflag…but he is just a loop/robot, so…
Remembering him asking that last time…makes it easier to disregard.
…
Can’t trust him w my vehic or meeting his friends/fam, since he is prob gonna try to use it to get me to talk about confidential stuff
…plus he isnt vegan.

The nice dog at the shack was great. Why cant ppl behave to me like that???? : (

Listening to the ice and snow melt and drip bc of the fireplace…is nice…and similar to rain on a tin roof.

The bigscreen tv makes me feel like i made a good choice returning here; a place w nice stuff…even though all the channels suck.

Tons of cardboard and candy without having to ask

Definitely got more dejavu w the discord chat about being unable to get online bc of aptmt stuff…
and dejavu from the Julianne Hough movie, Safe Haven.
But so what? She is cute in it, and I like watching parts of it.

New plates is nice : ) (in 2 ways, just like before here; dishware-plates, and license-plates)

The first time i saw that goddamn deathcult jewlywood psyop of a movie, Safe Haven, i cried bc they cast it so the ghost woman looked like ambi; black hair, etc.
This time? It just makes me annoyed, unimpressed, and angry.
My, how i have strengthened myself emotionally.

Funny that the mindless robot “ppl” here are a perfect loop of last time, just like indiana was; the 1 claiming he has only worked w them for less than a year…when i met him, and he said the same thing, about half a decade ago. XD
Is this how they screen ppl here?
Am i getting to see the loop…so i won’t feel the urge to network or offer love anymore?
Whatever the case, it is nice to be n this air and temperature and scenery and mansionhood,
and i can finally pay things off and try the restaurants i wanted.
And i have so much rage at ambi that it doesnt even hurt/sadden that her asshole self still hasnt shown the fuck up.
As usual, doc2 was wrong –and probably panic-lying hust like he panic-liked my posts. What a pussy. What a retard. Just like panic-lfb.

I wonder if Everywhere would loop at this point…
and if Anyone was real.
Interesting.
Either way, my work is the right thing to do, and i am proud of where it is now.

That rp/tx weirdo wanting her tits to be a burden…and to be a cow/sow/whatever…prob stems from consuming cow parts with that vibe in them…and from breeder brainwashing…and artificial hormone increases.
Regardless, she is an obvious phase2 texan; partially tolerable, easily abandonable, useful for leading to more phase2 mixed/meh.

Standard Mick; says this whole place is greedy, then asks what i get paid. The greed is his. And who the hell pretends they “know” All contractors and Every house?
And:
Says he cares about ppl, then makes it obvious he doesnt care how i feel at all; by crossing one of the most universal boundaries, asking what i get paid.

I am doc3

Didnt want either guy, got ambr y drive to boze. Wanted heakthy groc salad there, got it. But why the repeat? And why the flawless tan skin smile shorty blonde working there like b4?; why a loop and not yet improvement from her/all????

An amber driving me in a lux vehic range rover ish to airport

Dejavu from chris tard saying he tested, and from light gray car in ditch pushed out by 6 guys, and gas station stop…and airport private jets hangar?

Dejavu. Same offer of peanut filled pretzels.
We stopped at whole foods last time. Same salad bar and soup and waremelon lime soda.
Same mildtan dirtyblonde hottie walk by and sit in tan suburban then drive off b4 amb’ got bk out. Lol

Dejavu. Same audi drive back. Same weird shitty controls and mopey siriusxm music

New cc. 1st biz cc

Ran out of cash and credit hrs b4 payday lol. I always barely make it.

upset I am isolated outside town in a barn?
not this 2nd time here; like before, i have seen the town is, so far, only fugtards,
and this is cheaper than most town places,
and quieter,
and more beautiful,
so it seems like, once again, i was given the best place and best price.
this time, it was Not a full loop/repeat, bc my passive went up by hundreds!
🙂

Dejavu on austin h being tall and stopping me on way n from loading truck mail…for handshake
…how long was i here?
Why did i leave?
I mean, it’s Good i left; was only way to scout mexisatan and dump elitard and avoid hating bigsky for masktards years, but still…wondering why i left…and why i hardly remembered the 1st attempt at staying here.

Interesting that the mostly-hots did Not make much effort, and my Favorite hottie (ambi) made 4/+ attempts; neat and great sign that the ones i want most…r the ones who try the most.

These long lulls when others r busy…is still just fake…and good bc it allos me the time i need to think of and post my final details/decisions.

Dejavu loading cans in fridge at Mills in Beaver Creek…but i followed him up and around last time

Dejavu from being told sheehy retrofitted bombers for forest firefighting

S’ on the phone outside for half an hour let me unwind n this seal cabin mansion same as first time. Finally the loop feels nice. I feel i am back where i belong, being paid to settle n and enjoy what i love

Lmao at the “new guys” only there months or days; they said that half a decade ago.
But now i know they r looped robots or whatever, so no urge or point in befriending any or staying here.
Makes it a lot easier.
Makes me know i was right to abandon the share-love project.

Being called kid by 2 moron peasants was not right, but their kind always are predictably inappropriate and retarded, and being called kid makes me feel young in a way, so it’s whatever.

Dejavu driving the green truck back.

So disgusting i have to see that mutant bk at the office.
God sure is shameful.

I bet if i had gotten w ambi bk when she appeared, it would have ruined this place.
Btr to enjoy it without bitches.
She never showed courage or manners, anyway; no pt wasting more of my time w the same loser mindset from her kind.

Dejavu from the vertical revtangle outline headlights halogen on black suv coming dn from yc w ambi-like hottie n it, more like the SHIELD actress

No matter how many drives or checks i do, it is paid well to drive through the most scenic places i love, and to be away frm the fake ppl/robots/loop.

Dejavu from wk2 day4 friday hottie brunette exiting gas station, us sitting in carwash line, being told i am welcmome to get mcdonalds of all barf

As long as I am still learning new/useful things (or even re-hearing useful things I now have the time to work into my design/spell), the idiots dont bother me like they used to

The convo w loop/robot m’ was upsetting, but it reminded me how glad and honorable i am to have dumped hottie ambi, staying true to morality/ethics/nature.

God doesnt fund evil; the masses are weak, so anyone funded by the masses is usually one who chose to pretend to support weakness/evil. Doesnt mean all rich ppl did that. Doesnt mean those who claim to endorse evil actually endorse it. But that is where the money often/easily comes from. Hopefully they are tricking the masses into paying ppl who are correct like me. Hopefully they are tricking the masses by luring out their scum…so they are easier to track and remove.

It may be that the only reason there are any freaks at all… is that no one believed that their writing/spells/will can stop that evil/crap;
it may be that women are fickle… only b/c men don’t write spells and hold visions of what those women should be,
so women end up Seeming fickle b/c the dominant force/urge they empathically get governed by… ends up shifting as often as the cowardly/chaotic/pathetic masses do.
Then I came along 🙂
I wonder how long it will take for my spells to take hold.
I keep getting what I want… more and more… without having to ask… so…
hopefully all the queers I hate will off themselves,
and all my other enemies/incompatibles will bend the knee to me and fund me.

“they have many ways of spying on you/us here” lol okay.
all they have seen is:
1) I am monk-like,
2) I exercise,
3) I eat healthily,
4) I sleep normal hours,
5) I am reliable at work,
6) I pay attention to detail,
7) I admire the rich people’s artwork/taste,
8) I am not afraid to say when even the elites have unhealthy things in their fridges,
9) I am nice to nice dogs,
10) I like girls being girls and guys being guys,
11) I ignore/block all non-business texts/calls on my business-phone,
12) I feel frustrated I am not with my dream-girl yet,
13) I have an amazing project / life’s work,
14) It doesn’t excite me at all that our clients are rich or famous,
etc.
(but I’ve already seen how humans miss ALL of those OBVIOUS points, and make up insane extreme BAD ones)

another loop-break is that last time i was here, i told S’ or another of them that the iPhone texts-ding sounded like the opening note of that Beach Boys song, Sloop John B (sp);
this time, I didn’t, and I won’t; no point repeating myself, or even talking in the first place –to failed robots of shitty robot-makers such as these.

m’s bitch didn’t fall in love with another guy due to adrenalin or god-complex;
his toxic personality and severe logic errors pushed her away.
however, if she really was pro-evil/trans/queers like he claims, half the blame is still on her.
also however, however, it is yet another made-up story programmed into these non-real “people”.

Does skin dry and wrinkle bc of the dead wood cracks most r around?
Do forests grow not bc of lack of logging, but based on ppl liking how they Look, and bc the plants Sense that many trees r needed in order to process the extra neg mind fields?

I hated his “not young young like 15” comment/cover, and his retarded “not contagious”, but it does help by givjng me enough intel to know who to avoid and purge, and it means more health etc for me.

Maybe she is just waiting to see that this is where i wanna be, regardless of who is here, but still… I already knew i wanted to be here. Maybe she is waiting for me to wrap up and let go of my work…but still; i wanted her With me. Maybe she isnt coming back…but Chose her. Why did she not reciprocate my transparency? Maybe she can’t; maybe she IS limited to whatever my will is…and my will Was Slightly more in favor of wrapping all up without distractions. Balance for me…did not before now inVolve her.

After seeing how ppl behaved n all realms; “food”, courts, repo scam, etc., i just can’t feel any attraction to their kind anymore. And ambi sealed the deal; hid frm me for a decade, cowardly and no explanation. No help when i needed her. Kicked me when i was down. Even dream harassment and the backpack spin bullying bs when i needed her.

Had exact same wk2day4friday endshift convo w m’ as b4; about being against trans evil, and how this place has rich who apparently r like that… But i have yet to meet any, and dont have to deal w them, and keep getting my way. And he is another phase2mix; against evil trans, but pro evil deathcult, both of which stem from the same retardation; cowardly masses going against nature/life/me.

Him saying my kids will be how i raise them…doesnt reassure me; i am Nothing like My “parents” raised Me. Then again, maybe my instinct to avoid their evil…will be the same strong urge in my own. I prob am not related to my “parents” at all.
…
Then again, i wasnt raised by those losers pretending to be my relatives; i Am like those who Actually raised me; the gods.

Technically…if women always change…they are not changing; they are continuing to do the same thing / be the same way.
Lol
Interesting
…
And does them being that way…result in offspring, and a focus shifted to the offspring, …or does it merely result in a poorly/incompletely-held vision, thus destabilized families…until sturdy/resolute males show up?
Do they actually only “change”…bc of weak males who were only good for seed to hopefully make better replacements?

The retarded troll freak certainly is perfect for keeping me out of that office.
Still, it shouldnt exist. None of them should.
This world is such a disgrace. So are all the gods.
40 years of golden opportunities for them, i always making it so easy for them to be good, yet all of them failed miserably every time, none making any effort at all.
Roger that. Cataclysms to them scheduled. Amen.

There arent any trans scum here; he was programmed to say that, and he said it just like last time, a few yrs ago.
And even if there were, it is likely just 1, and they have no rights or logic, and they, like him, r just robots programmed evilly, thus easy to end.
This fake business tested my weight, my reflexes, my reaction to celebrity info, how i feel about veterans, how i react to evil trans shit, etc.
Seems like all these robots r here for is to test newcomers.
Whatever.

the rp ‘ppl’ (loops? likely) working today… is another good thing i needed and didn’t have to ask for; another good sign that lets me get caught up on My work

Rmbr/note what happened:
When she kept refusing to say it was her, or behave well to me, I kept sending loving texts.
When i waited on her to decide when she would introduce herself and treat me right, her typist sent horrible texts that broke my heart, so to speak.
Not a reciprocation at all.
Not fair.
Not right.
She has a Lot to learn.
And she isnt powerful enough to be a queen, let alone the Queen of queens, if she can’t even muster up the rights or manners or courage to say, “Hello, it is me, Ambi.”
Maybe she was giving me time to wrap up my work, but now that I have… she has more and more explaining to do.
I am glad I loved her… but also glad I refused to play her stupid game.
I will always be ready for family with her, at least now, but I will also always require her to say the correct things and be as open with me as I was with her.

Since the “ppl” behaved as they did, and since they r looped/robots, networking would have been pointless,
and even attempting to focus/will/demand my way thru their checkpoints would have been met w only more of them not listening. They probably can’t hear or understand at all, anyway.
Starting a fam is pointless, too.
Literally everyone i met would have to either beg my forgiveness or off themselves before this civilization deserved my children being in it.

Funny/hypocritical how ambi typist agreed w me texting how ppl should do something amazing if they want me, then her in person did nothing amazing at all –or even basic.

Had 14$extra; plenty for the 20 of gas i needed.

Standing firm on my correct morals this many years makes me a real-life Optimus Prime; constantly leading by example, rallying, adapting, overcoming odds, etc.

Going up the hill here…refreshed my memory of doing it in the jeep. I felt sad back then, and cussed more as it struggled on the ice. This time, i felt certain, less angry, and not sad at all, no longer missing the woman i witnessed being a total idiot and bitch online and in person.

I am right to be mad at the hotties for showing up before they were ready.
I am always right to be mad about what is wrong and enraging.
The least they could have done was be polite, introducing themselves, and promising to return when wanted.

Stop worrying that you blocked ppl; you blocked abusers, useless shits, and looped mindless NPCs.
You loved the iDea of ambi –as a Loving woman.
The real her stayed hidden, unfair, rude, cowardly, and just as abusive and negligent and useless as the others.
Do not feel withdrawals; feel your strength which is so strong it overcame the sexiest, sexier even than the actresses, models, and pornstars.
You asked for only the bare minimum; health and manners.
They chose not to deliver even that;
you were right to move on.
Will anyone ever behave? Will anyone ever be good? Not based on the behavior So far, but at least You behaved correctly. Amen.
I asked for a loving wife, not a cold bitch who only makes walkbys to tease and test me.
I rejected that which i did not asl for.
Burn that retard in hell.
Maybe it’ll make way for the Real/Decent/Correct ambi.

Found and tried some more vegan products which are great

Still trying to figure out why i was shown ppl are not just stupid and evil, but on a loop…
It doesnt change my morals or instincts or lifepath, but it sure does validate my instinctive/last-resort isolation.
Technically ambi was on a loop, too; so far always only showed up, said nothing, walked by…

3 more rp attempts in Eve all turned out the way those b4 did, and feel like dejavu;
the preg blonde slaves tits ice cream one in particular.
Why do ppl keep being so goddamn gross?

After how humans keep behaving, all there is to do is say whatever gets them to go away, then let them die.
Helping them always led to them causing more hells, and they usually angrilly talked shit about any offered help, anyway.
They had been crazy or programmed to be dickheads long before i wrote any spells; since my childhood.

I no longer care if i have any real relatives out there; none came and met me halfway.

I’m all out of motivation/”fucks”. Just kind of existing rn.
Website is basically complete.
Books are, my always-correct instinct tells me, meant to be completed only in Inisfree and for the ppl fully compatible w me there.
So what do i do?
Just exercise? : /

Dejavu from the wk2day4 garage pullups bar, now that i think about it.
Even though it is a loop, it shows my memory is really good.

How can i ever trust a bitch that cold and stubborn and the opposite of what i asked for for years…to be reliable enough to have kids with…?
She never rallied to me like i did to her.
She never staunchly supported and saw the good in me like i did w her…
And look at all my notes; all lonesome, all venting due to her abuses and stupidity…
Thank the fucking gods i didnt hook up w her and have kids when she showed up; she would have stayed cold and a user…and gotten worse, having learned i will accept that shit.

Maybe she IS getting what she wanted; those moments to tease and disrespect and blame and abandon me.
Why do the opposites of me keeping showing up? : /
Covidiots, polititards, fugs, pedos (babycrazies)…

I just want the hotties i wrote of…
and my city…
so i dont need the goddamn humans or paychecks anymore.
Why did mt re-manifest…and my site wrapup…and all those trips…but not what i want, by far, most?
Strange.

Pretty funny and retarded, how that robot guy advises to just let life work out…when his is a complete disaster.
Mine seems to be working out, though; by me realizing they r looped mindless worthless nobodies, thus to always be paid lip-service to and ignored.
If only i’d somehow accepted the signs of that earlier; i would still have 30k or more in the bank.
But the $ and trips and stuff come in waves, ebbing and flowing, getting bigger, so i’ll ha e more than 30k this next time.
And i can still be glad and proud i invested that in my own research / life’s work; exploring/expeditions, and seeing how ppl n all places react to my good manners and good choices.

Nothing is a true loop since i am aware of the loop…and in a new vehic…and adding update dates to my webpages.
But it still irks me; places were supposed to get Better, More aligned to me, not stay just as stupid and ugly… : /
What the hell?

Rn, the pic of ambi/megan…just reminds me how stupid and rude and unhelpful and stubborn in-person ambi was. : /
but, ofc, also of how strong i was; enough to overcome her bait.
enough to overcome my own emotions.

Sat18mar2023. 10:25pm.
First time hearing coyotes here. Or are they humans…or robots either way?
Reminds me of Caitlyn…and how i hate her now; she, like the rest, hasnt chosen to be w me yet.
Very disturbing.

Every ad is offensive and inappropriate; the only ads should be in the form of hot chicks offering to pay my way to go with them to fuckfests where i already want to go.

Every “news” story is offensive and inappropriate; the only things on the news should be hot chicks cheering on me and my life’s work.

Every anything is offensive and inappropriate until it is what iii want.

Never dine in at any restaurant which has any ugly guests or ugly staff or nonvegan things or food not served nyotaimori.
Such lacking places do not deserve tips or my time.

Sunday 19 March 2023, 10:30 AM
another moment of frustation and venting passes… as I end up completing the sand castle map/design (enough for now).

finally seeing Outlander movie opening scene by chance. zero dejavu 🙂

Deja vu from meeting the cat this 3rd weekend here (1st being arrival, 2nd weekend being after workweek1)
…
and maybe from the rp of foxgirl Calla meeting me in Soliara via Zed’.
…
but it was still nice, even if it IS a loop or repeat.

I was left w no choice but to return to evil texas a few times.
I wish i hadnt had to leave montana due to disgusting idiots, but at least i returned to montana by Choice. At least its terrain calls to me.
Not as much as Inisfree’s, but enough for now to make this return to montana barearable.

The vibe told me to call out for them…
and just as strongly told me to wait for them to introduce themselves…
and now just as strongly is telling me I am satisfied with my work, and ready for the family I envisioned and chose.
Will they come, though?
The Marines became…even when i was told they could not.
Trips did, too.
Schools did.
Almost all healing did.
Surely my beloveds (wife, children, etc.) now can and will…
I hope with all my heart.

20 years “day” coming up…
No, wait; the first 20-years “day” overlaps; all 9 levels started in The Shift, when I committed to Inisfree; I am 10 years into this first “day”; 2013-2023.
Ambi, being night/shadow, might only be able to be with me during actual nights and the application-“nights”, but…my instinct/will is to redefine how this reality works, and to stay with her every actual evening and night forever.
…Anyway…halfway through the 1st of 13 cycles of the 2nd level.
The 1st level is nearly complete; it is 13 years, and 2023 is 10 years after 2013. I have only 1 more “night” application to go…and this is it; resettling in Montana.
Ambi Will return. She Has to; I chose only Her. And she Knows it. I Know she knows it.
I never chose the tard typist, so that tard went away.
I chose perfect Ambi as my bride and wife forever; she can feel this and surely shall return…as many times as it Takes for us to unite permanently.

if the hotties are still in useless-bitch mode,
might as well play these games as hard as they can be played (getting all I can in EVE, etc.),
and might as well keep scouting and updating the grocery store design, etc.

no point trying to get into places that are ridiculously priced rn;
the only thing it makes sense to do is not save or invest, but to keep buying game stuff; that’s the only stuff i can afford,
and no amount of saving, at my current rate of being paid, will EVER come CLOSE to the amounts i need for what i Actually want.
hotties/goddesses will just have to miracle/pay it For me.

mon20mar2023 bird flew into window, waking me up before my alarm; even ‘nature’/’wildlife’ (more robots/looped?) are now doing things that are my will, even when i don’t ask or try to will/manifest it.
(didn’t want to hear my phone alarm; got what i wanted)

every time i worry about my beard or looks or whatever…
i remember that it isn’t about how i look; others are required to look good for Me,
and their behavior is far worse than my looks have Ever been,
and my beard is a statement and a victory and a giant fuck-you to all the pussy non-males who shave theirs off to fit in, making them look like trans faggots.
i wear my beard with pride.
and look at the AMAZING accomplishments i have pulled off for DECADES in SPITE of my looks –or because of them; because i was rarely distracted by lusters.

it is possible that everything I was taught in school… was just to overload/distract/occupy me…
so I wouldn’t have my own ideas…
b/c they knew that i was powerful enough to change all of reality if i had my own ideas.
same reason they sent hotties who never behaved; always trying to lure me off-course, never actually honoring my commands to manifest.
but all that did was show me their entire species is the problem/diversion/evil/incompatible, which further annihilated/derailed/backfired their tactic/attempt.
interesting how everything they did, no matter how expensive or complex or with many ppl… always died/failed; they manifested only more of that which they assumed/worshipped; end/death… and it only ended themselves.

the amount of stupid that comes out of his face… is staggering.
he is so much like the other humanimals; memorized tons, but thinks not at all.
claiming AI is only for interacting with non-AI… is like saying our children are only for communicating with their parents, never allowing them to create together with their own generation/kind.
claiming cars are the problem… is so retarded on so many levels, I don’t even know where to begin with the laughable claim;
it doesn’t address the obvious fact that congestion and control/piloting/driving are the problems, not the vehicles themselves.
guns have never been the problem; only the complex system between people when guns are used in ways they don’t agree with.
cars have also never been the problem; only the complex and congested way they are allowed to be used/operated.
the problem is, first, assuming the wrong thing; identifying something neutral as a negative/problem.
the 2nd problem is, of course, not letting the AI better-manage things; human pride and insecurity keep getting in the way -not to mention people who have clearly been bred to memorize tons of nonsense, not actually thinking about any of it, not analyzing it, not finding actual problems and actual solutions.

the bitch wasn’t limited to reflecting me;
she wasn’t mirroring/copying me when she didn’t reciptrocate,
or when she didn’t let me know she is real,
or when she showed up randomly,
or when she ignored my maydays during ambushes from fugtards,
or when she parrotted evil blatant lies,
or when she threatened all my people,
or when she wasn’t loving like i was,
or when she showed up with uninvited others,
or when she tested me after i didn’t test her.
NONE of that was mirroring.
she isn’t limited at all.
she was trying to limit and control Me.
and even if she was just trying to stay out of my way so i was never distracted, she still did it wrong, her typist was still WAY out of line, and her behavior in person was SHIT EVIL.

–
too bad this area showed me its ass again; same job, same robots, same lies.
i require the best.
i guess my spells haven’t been distributed to the masses/robots yet.
too slow; everyone has to die now, same as anywhere else.
shoulda treated me to the best.
you treated me to the worst; deformed, liars, idiots, rude, low pay, so…
now everyone who has nice things here will be evicted, incarcerated, interrogated, reprogrammed, and deported –if they are lucky enough not to be deatomized.
you show me the worst again, god/humanity/big-s., you get the worst right back –and i always amplify/boost before i echo/reciprocate. en-fucking-joy, idiots.

the big tv that has only evil shit on all channels?
clearly that and this place and the furnishings and all else…
is just signs and help transitioning into having nice things, and an actual home;
not meant to be enjoyed yet –other than to make me feel a little better about being here; seeing all this stuff… makes me feel like less of a victim/loser/struggler.

Tue21mar2023
M’ gave an angry lame handshake this morning. (That hansen guy did, too, at least in terms of not giving enough time to meet the hand fully. How bizarre and poorly coded.) Then regurgitated more covid retardation. God, i can’t wait to leave those idiots. Smh. Such a pathetic country, this is. Tantrum-throwing uneducated adults everywhere i checked.
Why must even Here be ruined?? : (
At least i made it back, and this time see the loop, and this time am stronger than their bs. I am immune to it. Not fully; it still rightly enrages me. But enough to stay this time.

First time getting a vision of sitting on a chair holding my infant daughter, Nevaeh as she slept in a pink blanket/wrap <3

Even if the cat is part of the robots/loop, it is still so nice to be warmly greeted by it, a good being/vibe, so unlike those damn humans.

Once again, my ships-acquiring / game-playing happened in waves, just like the ‘nights’ and ‘days’ the mayans spoke of.

Dejavu from map sign reading behind michaelangelos, then from standing by h’ truck window chatting about tmrw. The loop continues lol. Then dejavu greenberg compound remote up beaver creek

Funny things the work robots said:
They’ll suck you off.” about snow-ditches pulling vehicles off the road. –
amb’: “i dont go down on anything black” about triple-diamond ski-routes/runs

Lmao h’ “no day is a repeat”…yeah, buddy, except this entire month and all of last year

Dejavu trashcan drawer work w Elliott standing beaide, S’ on it, H’ helping on floor

Dejavu overholt. Definitely did this one on wk3day1 (tue) last time. Lol this loop. Modern clean tall. Xians whites pics

Lungs healed rapidly, just as i knew they would; always feel best in cool and cold alpine air outside

Big sky? Should be called big money, or “reduced sky bc of mntns”.

I Love coming in these places alone; feels like my dream finally manifesting, and helping me select and revisit all finishing details along the way

The vibe and signs r pretty clear; m’s daughter is the one he was speaking of, and his handshake was angry and shitty and rude bc i said something good and natural, and he is secretly against good, this the lying, mood, relig barfing, covid “barfing”, etc.,
but it doesnt matter; he is just another mindless loop,
and another low-level demon,
and another tantrum Southerner like donaldtard,
and i am here to stay.
Defeat these typical pussy betas out of the way like always.
…
and him claiming some client wanted a maid gone, and that he says the client is a good guy but then every now and then you see another side to somone, and that “that isnt how it works here”, was the standard pussy indirect way of talking shit about Me; his retard way of trying to say that he had seen another side of Me…when really he had seen only me, sideless, honest and good and logical, the whole time.
…
There’s no way he could have known of another parent/father’s daughter like in his story, or how that father felt.
…
And whatever iii say IS how it works here. I am the god and have the money, not to mention the morals and honor and manhood.
…
I will continue being me and hopefully he will be mindoverided or fired or leave or disappear. I enjoy spotting demons like him and disregarding their tantrums.
Either way, he is stuck there, being a “service bitch” as he sees it, and i have passive income and can leave anytime.
…
I’ll never need to see any of those covidiots later, anyway; they don’t provide any services i can’t do myself, living here now.
How convenient.
…
Hopefully it scares/pressures him to leave and never come back. Disgusting degenerate southerner.
I’d fire him for the gross comments alone, or for the covid lie spreading alone, or for that one rude shitty dumbass tantrum-energy handshake.
…
This makes me think it is why i quit last time. I wonder what day it was.
Gonna disregard it this time, but still; interesting.

These ppl r prob preTending to be separate or against ea other,
but really each is slyly trying to learn 1 dif thing about u,
all of them gathering humint tgthr,
all already self-identifying as clearly evil (covidiots, religtards, breeders, nonvegan, etc.).
But do not fear; u always make it through, unscathed except for the ringing thing which actually ended up helping save your life bc it made u wary enough to spot the pharma scam.
You have already faced and defeated them; even though you left last time, it was bc of honor, and u never gave in to being a beta like them; u never switched to saying what their evil mindless kind prefer those around them repeat like they do.
Winwin for me; whether i left like before, or stay like now, i remain me, and public about what matters, which has always been the only holy/right way.

Do not bother trying to ask about the handshake; he lied about covid, and aboit which daughter is a degenerate, and about a client, thus he will, like all losers, always lie, so conversation and help is pointless.

At least he was right about boundaries; not being open to work beyond scheduled days.
So strange how in phase2…the mix…is of such wise things…amidst totally wrong ones.

Me just being here forces them to deal w me.
It also shows me they r betas.
Maybe bc i left last time, they were able to remain –in totality; looped, even, as is evident now.
Maybe me staying this time…is what forces them to reveal more of themselves…and again be defeated, if not also forced to change.
Whether they repent and fix their evil way or not, they already again showed they r betas, thus easily pished out of the way.
Either way, they r paying to teach me what it takes to design and maintain my own foothold/home here.
Though they r clearly enemies, they r working for me.
They r part of my will manifested.
How interesting.
And their disgusting comments and fag/tantrum handhakes have just made it effortless for me to quit without notice, thus the next jump (into my dreamhouse) will be rapid and easy.
Amen.
Their evil makes it easier for me to be good and spot other loser evil beings.
It all works out.

These fake ppl didnt give me any notice about:
working w covidiots
working w antivegan murderers
working w liars
working on call
not being in the yc where i want
evil trans supporters
evil intimidation-attempt handshakes
etc etc
So They dont deserve or get any notice from Me.

Regardless of whether typist was telepathic or told to repel me or whatever, her messages were wrong, inappropriate, stupid, disgusting, and evil,
and both she and the real ambi are held accountable.
The time for spoiled bitches getting their way is over.
All hotties and everyone else kneels to me or else.
I am Old Testament.

It is a beautiful thing that the two idiot children betas here already destroyed their own health and lives.
They pre-defeated themselves.
And even though they r looped, thus even more mindless than regular dumbass humanimals/betas, they still revealed their programmers are evil dumbasses.
Target-rich environment.
Meanwhile my life keeps getting better, my dreams manifesting, everything wrapped up, almost all health not only maintained but restored, and on and on.
“You will know them by their works”; the losers destroy themselves, while geniuses/angels/gods like me always bring wisdom and relief and reliability.
Who has the old shitty trashfilled failvehicle/s? Them.
Who had the new free clean one? Me.
I always get what i want eventually.
I am always on the right track.
I Am the right track.

Only one thing dumb enough to send a text like that church question retardation; a demon.

I didnt call to the gods.
They called to me.
That was what all that softdisclosure was.
And when iii answered Their calls, They were the ones who werent ready; they were childish, moody, and stupid af.

Hearing of the scared bar guy never taking shots and then doing so while saying a client asked to have a room below their basement w only subway tiles and a drain…makes me think the ppl here deliver their own justice…and maybe ambi had our subbasement installed <3

Also, why does it give that idiot fear…to see the same room butchers use?
Why not fear that Meat eaters use it…by the Trillions?
Dipshit.

Dejavu wk3day2wed told of druggies, torture room, and being in Waters w stp painter kid
Loop continues lol

The “food” industry is set up to scare and torture animals bc humans are actual demons and actually need adrenochrome. Only explanation.
And their all-lies media tries to make it Seem like they r against the elites eating it…when really it is just to lure out non-junkies.

Lmao that emo pussy getting upset as i took notes on his instructions.
And saying i am a robot bc i dont eat; a robot calling a man a robot! XD

Once again, heat off, nature on, clean air, avoiding the fake ppl, and my stuffiness clears on its own.

Wk3day2wed, same task of gluing the splintered doorframe with gorilla glue.
Last time, it would not hold, so i had to keep holding it. This time, it stuck.

What an idiot; talking shit about my lunch choices; he thinks soup is depressing, but not murder and corspe eating?
Typical worthless human/npc.
…
And here comes my shitty veggie wrap, just like last time i was here.
So weird.
So lame.

“You dont eat meat?” should never be a question. “You eat meat???” should be the question ppl would get asked; it should be surprising that anyone Does; if the world was right, no one would eat meat.

Loop broken by my btr vehic,
and by my awareness/memory,
and by my computer models done b4 coming,
and by being done w the hillgren door glue b4 he arrived; bag up n mudroom this time, eating veggie wrap lunch upstairs like a rich man.
And i dont feel depressed or sweaty or hungry this time.

Cleaning sydney nice tight blck spandex pants and height y skin hair eyes color scheme. Make bilateral etc.
…but then saw again and blah; not hourglass-y enough, etc.

Perfect seat on porch w view of mntn as if seeing half of inisfree’s middle from a mansion

Lunching then happy surprise seeing her almost in her pjs, still skin tight, now pink top and gray pants, and socks, walk by checking windows dusting, is almost taylor fixed to be a willing servant. Almost ariel, even.
More steps past this loop.

Offered to be shown thru yc just as a tour of homes. Perfect timing.
Thank god these foolish robots are at least useful and offering Some good things.

Her midriff is gorgeous. Saw her squatting and showing it. Wish i was fucking her.
Maybe soon.
Maybe she’ll volunteer or be ordered by my vampire wife.

Lmao he looped/repeated the evil “make sure” and pharma-scam “get meds”, and i, just like b4, instantly said “no” 😀

Got to see both shorty teen maids again. Both have good fashion y hairstyles, and perfect height, just need faces.
Maybe figure slendering a bit, but not much.

1st time in a Range Rover…unless it was last time when i prob Also changed the license plates lol at hillgren bay curve windows porch place cleaners.

Another ugly nonfeminine hand pic from a discord weirdo; maybe this is why i cut contact last time…
At least she/it was useful for 1 more character…nd my zedi chs rp for novel 9.

As always, the “ppl” were deadwrong, parroting shit that has always made things Much worse, and i was 100% correct; i avoided their fake medicine, isolated the variables myself, tested my tyeory, and confirmed my instinct/wisdom, healing in a matter of hours, letting my body process out the smoke from the wood stove backup.

Another loopbreak: i did not take a photo of the Cabin Porn book on the mudroom bench of that Guiness dog cabin on wk3day3wed.

As much as i hate this goddamn loop, and these goddamn morons who have delusions of authority, and the hotties who still are yet to behave, i am still getting great ideas and completing wrap-ups and spotting things i can improve… which would all be imPossible w the distractions of behaving females and a loving family and my busy Inisfree work schedule foreseen.

I remember the frozen dog piss grass carpet last time
And asking what “tvt” is. Tom victor taylor, of floor-and-patio.com (sp)

Scratched doorframe again

Loopbreak; dpg carpet was frozen last time
(which makes it interesting that M’ says he can remember that… when it was 4 or 5 years ago; he said he has only been working there for 3 or 4…
and he had the exact same jobs each day, and same conversations each day, as the first time I was here, so… he’s on a loop… but he can still remember stuff beFORE??
weird.)
…
and a 2nd loopbreak from one of the NPCs/robots:
M’ at that “Cadillac-clean” place:
“I feel like we did this b4” (found the oven sticker) lol yeah…5 or so yrs ago.
It was n an obvious place when we spoke to the oven rep.
They didnt answer this time, and it wasnt there.
Loopbreak

Hearing it takes 6months or whatever to fully acclimate; get more blood cells…makes me feel my instinct to stay inside and rest and ease into all again…was right again

deja vu about cleaning the grill at jocko’s.
deja vu standing looking out the big livingroom window square, but i was in my orange fleece that first time, and feeling much more depressed.
deja vu about the convo back at the office with the 2 guys; teabag-neck-break joke, etc.
deja vu about the “it was like that” joke at the office after he rammed the drawer back into the desk thing.
interesting.

no being naturally thinks they should be the opposite sex, or that more than 2 sexes exist;
those who DO start misbehaving / fail-thinking that way… are
1) because the parents didn’t choose to make and hold that as part of the vision that created and maintains those children/beings,
and 2) because a corrupt media is trying to trick/program ppl that way.
but it still works out… because it creates obvious targets; the weak are Always the evil ones.
those who defend evil are the most evil of all.
etc.

this loop/return isn’t a curse; it’s the manifesting of what i wrote and wanted; living here; returning here.

them feeling jealous of others… is strange to me; the ones they are jealous of… are having to pay MUCH more to live here, and AREN’T paid to be here, and have HORRIBLE pics/fams, and TONS of house problems, etc.
plus, how can they get here without dealing with the covidiots?
I see nothing to be jealous of.
I see poorly-managed incomes/lives.
I see lost souls who, even with all those resources, haven’t even gotten the basics right.

As foolish as the latest discord moron’s claims were, they still show how primitive and wrong and obsolete and easily defeated humans still are.

All the loop in IN y MT shows…is that a handful of nonppl were on repeat.
Also, in a way, it makes me determined to break it; by staying in mt this time.
It all works out.
…and it shows me the exodus would/might have been pointless; it was to help relocate ppl, but since they were too retarded to even greet me, and since some are just mindlessly looped, they don’t need or deserve Any such help/guidance.

It’s ‘funny’ how… breaking up w ambi typist… and rejecting realAmbi’s rude first attempts… resulted in literally All my design/vision wrapped up,
…and how, even after making it back here, i am still worried.
The most difficult step was returning and being able to afford stating here, and i did it!
So much is perfect about this place; the air, the temp, the scenery, the architecture, the quiet, the dispersion, the furnishings, the latest stepping-stone gig, etc.
Only one step remains; the hotties returning to me once and for all, this time to behave.
That’s pretty awesome and monumental and relieving.
One last step.
So easy to hold that last little part of the vision.
Especially having seen they already exist/manifested/answered!

Going thru this gig a 2nd time…resukted not n notes this time, but webpage/spell/vision updates to completion, and showed me which neighborhood i want to be in; yc, just w the beauty of some of the moonlight architecture.

I said i wanted to go to all those places, and Star Trek results always happened; weird gross rude bad ppl.
Last year, i then updated my wish/vision/site by saying i only want to go to vegan places, and only be around sexy girls the whole time, so now i wait on That to manifest.

Wk3day3thurs.
Last time, it was i who dropped the key into the desk shelves thing, and dented the slideout part when i pushed it back in it.
This time, it was m’ who did the same thing.
Interesting.
And another loopchange.

Loopbreak: this time, i did Not tell S’ the iphone message note sounds like the Beach Boys song opening note. I did not play that youtube for him this 2nd time here.

Dejavu taylor house bobcat livingroom inside wk3day3 thu

Dejavu from meeting jake pool guy at meyers. And dejavu walking around alone to look for heated gutters ice buildup we didnt find

Unbelievable, that guy; said he went to a gay wedding in tx…in the town w my name…wtf. If i didnt hate tx b4… Smh. What a worthless ppl, these humanimals still are. Or, at least, this looped robot was programmed to say disgusting evil bullshit.
And he claimed he had relig! He has none at all.

Dejavu about pool table delivery issue.
Deja vu about ocd guy kinda bitching bc i didnt text b4 calling lol.
The loop goes on.

Dejavu being told truck stuck n meadow, then me going to big sky resort dropoff loop and seeing hot teen pigtails blonde, then call from m’ saying truck unstuck.
I was n jeep last time, tho.

Dejavu 2 blk guys dropping off palettes of pooltable

Dejavu being up in food court upstairs of bigsky The Exchange…
Last time i was looking for ambi…
This time, after seeing how she behaves, not at all.

Same ame in tight pink pajama pants and yellow top exiting shop i checked my phone at.
And same as b4 w how she walked out of the adjacent shop, again n front of me.
Then posb same/looped hotface platinumblonde shorty, but dn the outdoor steps after i used the company cc to buy the icebag…her face wasnt as hot, and she had silver nose ring…and apparently robot children.
Lame.
But cool i rmbr all these little details.

Seeing no attractive ppl so far…other than maybe that tan blonde teen at the intersection…w the Vulcan eyebrows…means i am not missing out.
Or it means my focus isnt manifesting hotties rn.
Either way, it is nice to ease back into this place.

me to myself: please practice remembering:
rjh not working out… led to your beach house sketch… turning into inisfree.
the usmc not being honorable enough… led to you developing a far-better military/fleet of your own.
even real-ambi not yet working out… led to the computer models, the total website completion/wrapup, the Discord server creation, and so on.
so you really should ask yourself… did those “not working out” moments/chapters… actually occur as things working out in a way so profound, even You with Your incredible vision/future-seeing… had no idea?
rjh never came back.
but graciella did.
and sabrina manifested.
and Rain did -FAR better than her actress/playby/inspiration/proto.
and ambi kept/KEEPS coming back; the ones you REALLY want… DO return;
you did NOT miss opportunities.
only a default-negative demon/FOOL would see ANY of your choices as a miss/failure / one-time-thing-lost.
you SEIZED the opportunities to make the spells that MADE those hotties,
AND you seized the opportunities to finish ALL your spells so those perfected hotties and other things would show up even MORE and as soon as POSSIBLE!
GO, YOU!
and it is as badass as anything… that you have kept moving forward while solo, and with so much allegedly uncertain (though that is just human / chaos-manifest-attempt thinking/defaulting).

it took longer to graduate and get into good schools than I’d expected,
then it took twice as long to become a Marine,
and I ended up in training during the hottest time, then the coldest time (SOI), etc.,
and it took multiple trips (i.e. longer than expected) to get to and back into lands/states/realms I really wanted to,
and, I should have known/expected based on that trend, it has taken more than one appearance of ambi and the others to get us aligned as a family.
IOW: things take me longer than others, but I end up going far farther, and realizing and doing far more, than everyone else I know.
I’ve seen through the logic failures of scientists,
and the fake-medicine and rehearsed heartless confidence at lying… of fake doctors.
The “smartest” (sounding) humans, I have seen right through.
The toughest (military, etc.), I have stood up to/against.
The sexiest, I have also overcome.
This means, while things tend to take me longer than I plan/expect/want, I am still stronger than all others, at least in this way; mentally/spiritually.
I eventually got into the military like I wanted.
I eventually got to scout every single state, and dozens of nations.
I’ll eventually get to be a family with Ambi and Sabrina and Grand Canyon Rain-perfected, etc..
Just wait. It comes.

the slightly taller aus’ reminded me of how i wrote the webpage/dossier/spell for my 1st son.

i remember hearing about the expensive ski-past last time i was here w this gig,
and how i tried to think of a way to stretch my then-less passive-income to cover it, and couldn’t come up with a thing.
this time, it seems possible, almost near. (and in phase3, it will be gauranteed, automatic, donated, every time, forever –AND they’ll pay ME to ski/be here, amen)

even all these years later, I’m STILL “putting in my request”; I’m STILL writing what I want for my life.
SF got his 100k sooner… bc it was a VERY simple request… and it resulted in his life being basic and barfy back in fail-tx.
my want/instinct and request/spell/declaration/focus… has taken a DECADE longer at LEAST, so it will be exponentially better –and perfect when it finishes manifesting (evident in how the hotties I requested/spellcrafted already LOOK and SOUND perfect; i have alREADY reached and continued with the level of perfect spells/writing/vision-holding).

my energy surges / rage / disgust was the gift/necessity which got me here; to all these adventures, realizations, cures, perfection, etc.,
and all the lonely/boring lulls… were EXACTLY what i needed to HAVE this vision, and all its parts, and TAKE all these notes, and WRITE all these spells –which HAVE started working.
embrace the lulls that are CRITIAL for processing all i’ve found and chosen.

no one is a greater doctor than me;
i am the one who keeps it simple,
and analyzes it best,
and senses/sees through the overcomplexity bullshit of the brainwashed fake doctors.
i am the one who writes spells which heal entire LIVES; holistics.
i don’t just remedy symptoms; i isolate variables and/then cure causes.
most doctors only treat one patient at a time, and ask for tons of money, and manifest chaos/randomness, assuming it is unavoidable.
vs. me: treating EVERYone and EVERY realm, and restoring DEITY-hood (invincibility), and ask for NO money (only compatibility/manners), reJecting all randomness/chance/chaos/brainwashing.
i am the greatest doctor.
evident.

as shitty as these looped “ppl” are, and as West World-robots as they could very well be,
all it means is that now is not yet the time to have friends,
and that they are merely catalysts; guides/steerers to what DOES inspire me; the houses, the art, the mountain air, etc.
…
and their retardeness and the Babitt-like H’… have a reliable way of keeping me wrapping up the last of this design/vision of mine,
so it still all works out.
not ideally. not yet. but enough.

The plants Can convert dead animals, but it doesnt mean they Should.
It probably shortens Their lifespans for the same reason it shortens the Humans’.

The typist eating steak…still works in my favor; it is one more incompatible humanimal offing itself,
or, if the steak is a lie, it is one more humanimal/chatbot/npc making it easy for me not to wish and want it was here n person.

My writing and forum posts aren’t “pretty good”; they are phenomenal. They are unmatched. The only reason that glorified chatbot of a gamer Downplayed them like that is because he is one of the default-negative/condescending idiot-bots pretending to be informed/better/people.

Calla typist saying she is going to get steak…is disappointing…but still a sign/al; she is just for rp, helping form/drive 1 more ch n my novel9.
She is not for in-person hangouts.
And she helps take the edge off while i still have a little time left before perfected/appropriate ambi and my other chosen goddesses return.
I dont need her to be a smokin vegan; all i need is some filtered socialization while my spells finish manifesting.
Same w the moron robots at the latest gig; they r just more time-passing chatbots and gym weights-like resistance-practice tools.

The typist doesnt deserve to know the real me or website or Inisfree,
but this interchange of ours Does still work well enough; as me filtering her so only My version of one of her characters “makes it there this first time for her”.

Even the blatant-lie pharma-cartel dog “medicine” commercials help me write more spells/laws to protect things i like;
…
Husky house.
They are never injected or otherwise medicated with any products from the Outlands. They never develop infections or parasites in the first place –because we don’t feed them the kind of poison masquerading as dogfood that is common in the Outlands.

Humans who pretend the world is flat… are really probably just keeping themselves in small bodies; it may be some kind of programming that was designed to keep them that small/insignificant.
At any larger body size, they would sooner perceive the planet’s actual form.
They have also always been chronic liars, so…
And i wonder if their many minds, puny though they are, are what cause the earthquakes; the over and over again failed-manifestation/attempt at flattening the Earth, always defeated in seconds or minutes by the conscious world/Maiar itself.

My rhetoric and thoughtprovoking questions rp notes…might not be what females gravitate to; females prob wpuld rather just be confidently Told how settings are, but…the rp isnt for Her; it is for Me to be Me.
From that stance, though, it could also easily be argued that i Should avoid the thoughtprovoking preface to the inisfree trip, but…i already typed it, so i will still include it in the rp.

I already got the hottest women and girls; ambi and the others repeatedly offered themselves to me.
So i am doubly proud of myself, as i also won over my own Urge to Bed/purSue them; i beat them in Two ways!
I never had to choose one or the other; they submitted to my will.
They also submitted in Two ways; they showed me they are real, And they left when i was disgusted at their behavior.
But oh, how i still want them to return and kneel to me and fund my life’s work.

The retarded writing of the Lucy film…regarding the “it is unknowable” line…is based on the assumption that minds cannot picture all of Space, which is based on the assumption that minds, like lives, are finite…so it still boils down to idiotic illogical deathcult attempted brainwashing.
It is based on their desire to convince ppp that Hell/Space is infinite, and change / time is infinite, and that the mind is not greater.
But really all they r doing is showing how weak their brainwashing method is…and how weak they themselves are.
Space is knowable.
All of time is knowable.
It is knowable to whoever chooses how vast or not, detailed or not, it is.
I have chosen those things, thus i know it, all of it.
Amen.
Only in asSuming it is unknowable…does more of it become or become possible.
It was not my instinct to give it that power.
It was always my instinct to unify healthy ppl in natural love. My way.

It isnt that inisfree doesnt exist yet bc no one i’ve met yet deserves to visit it;
it’s that i was still revising its design; i still in 2022 had to make a final decision on its WS Hangars, etc..
Now that i have done that, it Can exist, even bk n 2011 when i said it started, and i Can Go there, at least from here on.
Since ambi, and sabrina, and kara by the mt gas station, and those others exist, inisfree can, too.

I was never meant to have that SED fleet of converted military aircraft… because those were too primitive, and using lame/obsolete tech’.
I was never meant to stabilize the USA… because it was all/pure evil, determined and doomed/sentenced to fail/die/suicide.
I was never meant to lead an exodus… because only I was worthy/chosen.
Mine was a path more like alleged-Noah’s; to remain one with the real god/s, to lead only my Own family/offspring, to build my own ships/vessels, to start my Own nation/people, etc..

11AM, Sun-day 26 March 2023 (Sun-day 1 Aperire on My calendar):
spotting MAJOR issue/s on the Relocations webpage; it did not have the correct time-period for when my Star Fleet deploys to do the Mapping Campaign
(so glad I had the time, isolation, etc., to notice and fix this!; it really WAS right for me to steer past even real-Ambi all those times; that was the ONLY way to have enough space/solo to see these little typos yet GIANT potential errors/confusion-points)

so nice to wake up and clearly feel that the few remaining coughs and nose-blowings are the last of the smoke/whatever that got in my system 🙂 (no more days of coughing to clear my lungs)

so nice that every snowstorm/blizzard, cold breeze/gust, and wood-stove fire-surge/flicker/noise reminds me of my beloved top-wife, Ambi.

Rent breakdown:
1800…
-800 lodging + well water = 1000
-100 internet = 900
-100 furnishings = 800
-100 greenbelt = 700
-100 plowing = 600
-100 no addy / vehic hidden = 500
-100 guided into many rich homes = 400
-100 horses = 300
-100 firewood = 200
-100 ‘spam firewall’ (no mailbox) = 100
-100 no fugtard druggie neighbors in view
…
So it does still make sense.
It isn’t overpriced.
…
And taxpayers/peasants cover nearly 100% of all that.
All I pay is the elec bill! 😀

It pays to ask around and wait; one guy wanted 80m isk per haul…while another does it for free.

Doesnt matter what made me mad. What matters is that i chose to be myself, respecting my nature; all my emotions and reactions. That has let the universe see what will work and what i will reject.
It has also led to monklevel wise isolation that led to a million more milestones and breakthroughs last year, even back here in the tard States.

The longer the humans make me wait for respect and justice and compensation and health and my ppl and my city, the more i add to the spell, and the harder the humans will be punished and booted and farmed. Amen.

The longer ambi makes me wait, the more my relationships/spells w the other hotties will grow, perfected.

Doing nothing but writing, more wrapups, and carrying firewood…is the right way to spend these weekends –until i have paid down my cc and met flawless hotties, behavior and all.

Nightmare of being bk around tard eli, then back in annefranklike lfb tard demon attic room. Ugh. How abusive they were, that i am still having nightmares about it…years later.

Psycho hiring mgr actually asked if iii was okay; veteran pts worry of his.
Motherfucker fucks old women, sells drugs and murder/rape “food”, lets degenerates in his establishment, and worries that iii have a problem.
Unfuckingreal.
Smh.
Humans sure do always fail as hard as imaginable.

It’s so disgusting how the discord groups are not only Tolerating evil fags/trans, but being Nice to them!
Can’t wait to dump and block them.
Hopefully they all get cancer or suicide out.

Since realAmbi didnt show up in 2010-2013 like i wrote/wanted, doesnt that make her an anti-me psycho/enemy?
I had to deal w jls bc of her! And so many others…
I had to deal w the mexiscum bc of her…and the indy pharma minions and indy blobs / gluttony demons bc of her…
She could have prevented All that.
All my computer models could have been made much sooner, and under wonderful conditions, if she had only been polite and timely…

It’s so fucked up that that idiot says food is his love language;
his “food” is based on rape and murder, so apparently he loves those things.

So annoying that this fugtard said covid 4 fucking times on the drive up. What a loser. But…the ugly ones Are the ones we need believing that lie and ending themselves. I just wish they had done it without me hearing their stupid leaks anymore.

Dejavu not from snowplow house but amb’ on floor inside cabinet battery beep issue maybe

Wk4day2 dejavu bailey tall cleaner w ear rings at Taylor 2nd last house of amb’ day. And from gay voice brother downstairs vacuuming. And it turns out bailey, the girl name, is for the boy, and he is extra gay. As usual, god fails completely. This is why my attraction to humans ended long ago.
Annie was the overly-tall robot.

So the question is…are they robots on repeat…or is this an illusion based on a memory someone saw? And why were the addresses not marked n google…when i would have marked them last time?

As fucked up and evil as these retarded robots are, it still shows me which cleaners not to hire, etc.

Sabrina deserved that rude punk interrupting her sunset viewing…bc she didnt bother to be non-rude to Me.

I cant keep making excuses for them and trying to find some shred of logic or good.
I keep doing the work, and my part, and calling out, and they keep not showing up.
I am a hero and a genius and a saint… and they have no excuses for their godawful behavior.
I’ve gone as far as i can without them/her.
I have even had to reTurn to this town of retards.
…they just aren’t good/worthy.
They should have been with me since 2010.

“I built it”…but they didnt come.
…Then again, I haven’t finished the spell/update/post/publishing… :/
and they Have started to come; just not introduce themselves and Stay with me yet.

Nice to wake up with over 3k bk n my acct.
Idk the last time i had that much.
Still nowhere near enough, but it’s a start.

Being around only ugly idiots and liars makes it easy to never worry how i look or perform at work. It means i can lie, too. Easiest ever.
Not ideal, but easy.

Going over my website this many extra times over this many years has been necessary and great.

Dejavu next day. I now rmbr the amb’ telling that story about a client saying she had gone back east and the flowers were already blooming. Same story half a decade later. What a disgusting loop.
What a thing for that fake female to be neg about, too. Smh.
Typical worthless humans.
Wrong every time.

1st day working alone…coming up : )
So stoked.
Can’t stand these parrots.

Repeat. Prettyboy from tx, black suv stuck at harrison, got unstuck, mom has 3 condos air bnb

It would be a miracle if ambi likes my looks as much as i like hers,
and if she likes my quirks as much as i like her vampire moody doorbreaking slavescaring

Same 3 hotties looped at whole foods; shorty blonde n black hat, oversized tan beside my self checkout, then cute face elven somewhat shorty sandy brunette couple behind guy i politely motioned to walk before my cart.
What does it mean, this loop still going on here?
So lame that n half a decade, they still havent improved those lame robots at all. Pathetic. Disgraceful. Lazy.
…
The food i made for dinner was soooo healthy and delicious and perfect….
What a Wave of perfection at last.
This is how it will feel to fuck my favorite hotties after all this time alone.
This is how i want my Wives to make me feel.
I can’t even be mad or care about the loop or other bs rn, dinner was so good.
Sweet sweet relief.
At least rN i got what i wanted and asked for.

Lmao ambi typist was dumb enough to think anyone would stay w an incompatible botch always complaining and lying instead of being excited to be part of my life and always seeing the positive in all i do

So glad i dont have to deal w the dumbass clients

Feels like i am wrapping up my vision/work this 2nd time here; way btr feeling than last time.

There should never have been any bad relationships; every encounter should have been good, what i want, wonderful.
The fact there were Any misunderstandings or gross things or bad vibes or incompatibilities says/vibes as only 1 thing: demons/losers/non-soul NPCs.
Real ppl would Always Easily see i am right. I would never need to explain a thing at all. And they would always pay me just for being me; they would Never make me work for it.
These ideas and words/notes are not just hopes; they r instinct as sure/correct as when i knew it was time i became a warrior, and when i knew it was time to take, etc.

The black hat platinum blonde i saw at whole foods looked worse at the register. Glad i didnt bother engaging that aloof/oblivious retard.

That “i am a descendant of muhamad” idiot who kept wanting to skype and sell coffee… His psychosis/defect was “50cent words”; overcomplicating things, thus the abrahamic bs relig, and the blackhole theory, and calling my wisdom “metaphysical gold” when it was neither gold nor metaphysical. My wisdom simply was and is golden/valuable, here and now, not in some other “dimension”/level.
And him condescendingly saying “mother nature doesnt work n straight lines”? Lmfao;
1) she does; trees, grass, spider silk lines, etc.,
2) she isnt a thing; it is us manifesting,
3) that was him overcomplicating things,
4) it betrayed his nature as a chaos being trying to derail normal trajectories,
5) it betrays how chaotic his mindset and life are, due to his fault/defect.
Etc.

My phone dying on way to Archer…helped me memorize the way; less ‘crutch’ / dependency

Even tho the typist was retarded about many things, it was consistent and aligned regarding hotties;
I wanted many, it gave many,
I wanted to control them, it wanted them controlled;
Eden wanted to be forced to fuck hard like i want to force her kind,
same w Izzy,
and Angelike wanted to be kept and told what to do,
and Ariel wanted to be kept and owned,
and ambi didnt want to he shared; she wanted me to have exclusive sexual control of her,
Etc.
…
So that was a good step.
Just waiting on it to manifest irl.
My instinct and xp know i can only safely and truly and naturally enjoy hotties when they submit that fully to me,
and when i have power over the corrupt sexist human system which was designed by pedos who want only more idiot babies.

And izzy…representing the mob…and giving me its resources/connections…is ideal and vibed as correct…
and now make me think that was the mob showing me respect and loyalty.

Before, this lame job only gave me sadness and some house ideas notes.
This time, i am numb to ambi’s bullshit, and it gave me a new sebpg; mechanical rooms, etc.

Lol was gonna try gas station food but goddamn loomis charge stopped me. Whatever. Prob btr i dont stoop to gas station evil food anyway.

H’ is this area’s spaz gossiper evil parrot insecure unhealthy loser.
And his idiot friend gossipping/parroting adrenochrome? No dif than evilly accusing innocent ppl of pedo bs.
Smh.
Just another demon and wannabe “hero”/”whistleblower” jealous of successful ppl who have standards and good taste w their nice homes.

It was never “lust blowing me this way and that” like that retard Dante wrote of ppl;
it was my wise instinct based on curiosity, love, want for learning, etc.,
and it was evil humans rejecting my innocence and love.

Loop. Drycleaner, black house, told not to snot rocket, but we didnt go in this time

Dejavu carrying chairs, cant fit, eat hotpocket

So nice he is programmed to pretend sick…bc means less time w it.

“Throw up between my legs” mkm diarrhea

Needed more cardboard and got tons. Needed more food and got some. Didnt have to ask. So why not pussy and goddesses and my city? >:(

“When i need her” but not when i just want her? That isnt wife material. Plus she Didnt show when i needed her; she was late and rude and lazy and cold and useless.

Wk4day1tue repeated. Loop. Unscrewing harrison calquette staircase runningboard light fixture

So much time sitting n h/v…is another step toward just coming home to one of these cabin mansions. Let it be soon so i can leave these idiot robots.

When my daily and nightly fantasies are all manifesting, and perfectly, then i know i am with my ppl; real ppl who are worthy of me.
Like Cindy Kimberly escort in love w me, etc.
Until then, i keep adding finishing touches to the vision/spell.
Amen.

Women being the opp of what i wanted…was preShift.
Woemn “changing”; saying whatever i want to hear, and acting okayish for a while, then doing the opp…was nearShift;
Now i am a decade postShift; women will be and do what i want, Not changing.

More firewood and kindling than i’ll ever need…
So when will i be given as much money and health and hotties and superpowers?
I’ve asked for Those, Too.

The mindless parrot humans being stupid over and over, got me to re-explain truths over and over, and write them more, and focus my emotion/energy/magic more, thus reinforcing the spells of truth, keeping me healthy…and the humans weak.
Interesting.

Still amused that these humanimals in 40 yrs havent managed to figure out or accept that they arent testing and training Me; i have been testing and training Them.
But now that i see they are looped (incapable of learning), the purge and farming of their lowly kind can Really begin.
Amen.

Best brkfst i have had…maybe ever <3
Ariel shall make it even better by homecooking all i love!

I like the mntns for same reason i like “hourglass girls”

Wk4day4fri still a loop; keybox office didnt work, got mex bus, etc
So weird/amazing this much repeated.

Amazing how perfect the timing on the trash truck dumpster emptying was; literally right when i needed it, after filling the dumpster

Repeat of sheehy old lady scared as i entered, daughter taking bulbs and saying no need to sweep

Did the npc ppl loop bc they only have so much material?
No; i Tried calling out to others, and they refused.
I tried Talking to others, and they refused.
I tried emailing and facebooking and pitching…and they refused.
So…seems they just ran out of material on their own, regardless of how i interacted.

This is not purgatory; i can see the loop, and keep making progress.

This apartment…is upsetting…but very comfortable, as far as repeats and waypoints go.

Too tired of asking and declaring and focusing…but not receiving. Too tired of praying and wishing on a star and waiting. Just existing now.
Trying, honesty, saving, investing…all proved useless back then, and i dont have enough to try again.
I also know better.

Finding and trying and adding to my grocery-store spell so many great vegan things still : )

Taking the batteries out of the remote was wise and a cool sign.
Reminds me of how i chose to require bitches to initiate and make an effort.

So few spam/unsolicited calls/texts these days : )
Relief is here.

So glad the nonvegan proqueer losers’ lives are in shambles. If only they weren’t mere NPCs/robots; i wish they were actually conscious and suffering for their evil minds/crimes.

Repeat. Same pb nondairy icecream on wk4day3thu w m’ to drop willink mail. Same half sandwich offer, could only eat bread and spread

“Finding the balance btwn too many houses and not enough”? That means margins are too thin; not lucrative; not workable

Irlj thu30mar2023 y revs3.
7:06pm aisle 3 blonde face model big brim black hat…loop

Repeat emptying house of crawlspace stuff, m’ at top of stairs lol

Paid to drive around and scout and deuce in cabin mansions…and see who is hot or not…and learn how to finetune my dreamhouse and hospitality.
…
And paid better than even at usace.
First time paid this much.

Another wave of site updates and edits and links : ) makes me no longer wish ambi or the others were w me already; still so busy.

Coming home to hours of casual love visions (porn) daily is such a big improvement from dealing w argumentative demon bitches.

 

–

April:

If they’d managed to convince me to mindlessly repeat all their smallminded nonsense,
Heaven/Inisfree would never have been defined/spellcrafted/started/completed,
thus there would not be details for/of/in Heaven,
thus their death-cult BS would have kept Heaven just as empty/dead/pointless/incomplete/primitive.
Thank the gods (me) I followed my heart/instincts/wisdom and made all that; Inisfree’s details, etc.

just realized the Dal I got at Whole Foods is my favorite, just as I’d thought! They just changed the coloring on the package a little! 😀

no dejavu: first time jacking with hand, then using cum as FleshLight lube. neat.

Another surprise wave and big upgrade: sent millions of ISK to all 5 of my other ICV-like characters, unlocking nearly all Alpha-state skills for each of them.

Having to return, and breaking up w the shit-head typist, were the best possible things as far as finally getting all these updates and dream-location completed.
And it keeps occurring to me that ambi and the others know they will get to enjoy my full attention/love/company sooner… since they prevented themselves from distracting me / slowing my design/work.

The calla rp tour is very purposeful and timely; it has shown me edits to complete on the Tour pg, Assassin Suits pg, and many more.
It being requested as just 1 week long irp…is also a sign that the speedy v is prudent now; just finishing touches and final glances/readthrough.

Maybe visionquests don’t work for me bc i have always had a vision, instinct, and purpose.
Maybe visionquests are evil, too; based on letting chaos/chance redirect/reprogram us.
Maybe only others get visions…from me…when they do their own visionquests here or on other worlds.
It very well may be that such things are only to update minds/software/NPCs whenever a Mayan-schedule consciousness-focus (a deity’s mindset/urge) changes.

Everything is so perfect now…except the ppl;
location,
scenery,
air,
food,
hrs,
almost pay,
gaming,
almost rp,
site,
free luxury vehicle,
cat lol,
and on and on.
Even ambi and the others not quite returned to me yet…is just what i needed; it allowed me to catch up w all my notes and saves.
The only thing missing is my dream-family.
I think even my city is there now; ambi and sabrina and so many others have been (such as nyria and amber icv1 at that farm), so it must be, too.

The angrier i got, the sooner she answered and closer she was, just like the washington airport parking garage toll booth bitch.
So the angrier humans make me, the more my energy manifests what i want…
at least in phase1 and 2, that’s how it worked; my rage caused lightning and escapes n phase1…and hotties to blip in and out in phase2.

Nothing kills desire faster than their uniform shitty behavior…but then i saw the loop/s, and that comPletely ended any interest i once had in their kind.

Just sitting and doing nothing but enjoying sitting…and staring at my fires…is really nice…and vibes right.

Being told i am great at this…and lovely…and like a fairytale, etc. sure is nice and overdue.

After posting all my heroism and good ideas and free designs and cures and honest venting for years…it is now easy as can be for ppl to do what i love…which…makes me wonder why the fuck they havent been…
Truly pathetic and evil of them.
Even if/though the byproduct was distractions-free life’s-work wrapup, they still could have been polite and fair and sane along the way.

Finally realized i could use the trashcan step after a month here lol

I got the same neg evil bs rude reaction whether i initiated or not, and no matter how, so it made perfect sense to start saving myself the energy and trouble and disrespect and frustration by no longer bothering at all.
Every single one of them either didnt answer my call, or showed up randomly without invitation or introduction, as if they were all the same program/defect/insult.
So that saves me a Lot of time; all confirmed their immaturity, primitiveness, uneducatedness, evilness, uselessness, and worthlessness; no point calling out to any anymore.
There is still, however, total point in enslaving and mindlocking them like i instinctively asked for as a middle school / junion high young man.
I was Gorean and dominant and God from the start.

That hypocrite and retard; “i don’t think he’s a serial killer” –says ther serial killer; funder of countless rapes, tortures, and murders of sentient and sapient beings.
Unreal how mindless and stupid these humanimals/loops still are.
Smh.
God/mankind always fails.

…

As retarded as these robots and “rich” ppl are, it still helps me avoid worthless hangouts, focus on usefull house learning, and enjoy the fugs sterilizing, outting, and offing themselves out of my way.
They r eXactly who Should believe in the lethal scam.
And nothing they do has any effect on how gorgeous these mntns r, or how perfect the air is for me here.

pretty funny they claim iii need to slow down;
i’ve been slowing myself down for decades,
and i’ve been not only going slowly in each place, but now am REPEATING/LOOPED!,
and they didn’t communicate which parts to check,
and They are the ones who missed the most OBVIOUS scams/shit of all;
THEY are the ones who need to slown down;
on their assumptions about tv,
and their assumptions about Me,
and on and on.
humans always accuse others of what only they themselves are guilty of.
and it isn’t even sophisticated enough to be gaslighting; it’s just plain stupid.

“look for the good where you are” is still a form of toxic/gaslighting/evil;
what they Should say is, “tell me how I can be better” and “tell me what you like/prefer”.
they should Never tell ppl to change/reprogram how they feel / their instincts.

Better to hate and want to avoid scum…than to have met good ppl and feel i am missing out while i wrap up the design/vision.

Mon3apr2023 blaire and caitlyn came over to hang out and make out, and ambi eagerly encouraged us all to pile onto our bed together for a slumber party orgy.
I fucked Blaire first while feeling Caitlyn and leaning over to kiss her.
She said to take my time w Blaire…since she and I will he fucking the rest of the night.
Blaire admitted she is in love w me…and loves me even more than her bf.
I asked her on a date w me this coming weekend, just the two of us, and we agreed we’d be fucking most of the time.
I came n her 3x before giving the d to Caitlyn…while leaning over to kiss and look into the eyes of her packmate, still prone and leaking at our side.
Ambi massaged my back and caressed my ballsack the whole time, the perfect wife.

Interesting i got the vision/calling to/from/with Cait’ and Blaire right before realizing it was a full Moon night…and that i heard wolves and coyotes multiple times nearby when i woke after midnight. <3
I imagine my two loves introduced by Ambi are out there, vocalizing for me.

Austin h saying his friend was corps and a guide in bob marshall…felt familiar. Loop continuing?
Not sure if stp said the “ski tripping” joke last time, tho…

The more i met, the more insanity and rudeness and heartlessness and severe stupidity i found.
Little by little, or a lot by a lot, it reduced my interest down to nothing.
I can’t be attracted to monsters and scum and retards and deformed-tall like that.
…
Maxing my disgust, and annihilating my interest, got my design completed before age 40, so that worked, but still.
…
How i wish miraculously ppl as great as all sp far have been pathetic…would be the only ones in my future, thereby barely able to rekindle my interest…but …idk if that can Ever happen, given how pathetic humans keep being…such as by the loop.

Coming bk to mt…was still worth it…
bc i was going insane in indiana rd2…
but now all i want is out of this repeat steppingstone job…and away from the pharma junkies…
But bitch isnt here when i need her. That was just another lie of just another liar; “their queen will be there when they need her”.
And “she will be there when u r rdy”
And “she is coming soon”.
All lies.
Uniform lying.

Loop breaks:
Didnt chat w the murderdiet idiot about the alleged Marshall Wilderness guide friend veteran.
And remembered the wk5day1tue free tea…and how shitty the food and other drinks there were.

Shoulda known god would fail like always; tried to do boot n Spring, got Summer.
Tried to do ITB in Autumn, got winter.
Got degrees, no one let me use what i learned.
Tried to find fam n Patagonia, got blocked by an entire Nation of evil spick losers, and no fam met me halfway.
Called out for hotties, and was polite, and only bitches hiding their hotness and being rude answered/showed.
Worshipped goddesses, they didnt worship Me.
Prayed, prayers not answered.
Tried coming to my dream location, and everyone behaved like psychos.
Tried returning here, hoping dreamgirl would go with me, and she again didnt show.
This world/species sure is pathetic.
…
All it keeps teaching me is never to care about any human, and to hope as many of them as posb die.

Thank fucking ‘god’ i dont have to spend a full wk w any of those retarded robots, only 1 or 2 days.
Thank fucking ‘god’ i dont have to deal w any of the equally retarded clients.
…
As lame and wrong ad they r, it still ensures i keep working on my life’s work, never burning out, always seeking it, since no ppl yet r worth wanting.

Maybe my real relatives (deities like me) Did try to meet me…and were likewise exhausted by evil scum…on their side of the Gap.

The instinct told me when to try prayer and mil and colleges etc. …and now it is telling me not to workout yet; to do basic daily exercises, waiting for dry routes to ride my bicycle and jog.

No need or reason for me to be attractive; i am not looking at me when i fuck girls.
It is their job to be attractive.

I just wish i could have all the rude loser humans i’ve met dragged out in the street and shot and crucified.

After how she has kept behaving and vibing, i wish i could strangle and hit her in the face.

I wonder how long this latest round of unfair and unwanted loser robots will last. It usually only lasts a year. Sometimes only a month…

Another loopbreak: i have hundreds more per month than i did the first time i tried to be here.

Another default neg moron mutant. Should have complimented my appetite, or let me eat in peace, or bought healthy stuff, not murder/rape candy.
Shouldnt have said “shit” during/after food, either.

Never should have had to ask for her or the others. They just should have come on their own, and done what is right without being asked.

Finally realizing or remembering i can use the trash can’s foot pedal thing lol…or did i already make this note?

Annoying that i still am around morons and nonppl i have to lie to in order to keep them from having retard tantrums…but, again, it sure does keep me wrapping up my work and always ready to instantly ‘bounce’

Another great peaceful morning and delicious healthy breakfast. At least i have that/those

Not super keen on yet another round of poor whiny idiots, but it still works as conditioning and practice not caring about suicidals/toxics/self-damners.
If i had the ones i wanted, my work/wrapup would basically be reduced so much it may as well be ended/completed.

Wk5day2wed same snow remove from vent botarelli and walked on hottub cover again idk why, called weird guy.
Same flood i didnt go to; prob fake.

That slimy little roddent thinking he can fasttalk me into being around him after work. Lmfao.
3 hours of my time, and all for a few dollars worth of “food” that isnt even ethical/vegan?
I should never have had to ask for it to be vegan.
He even lied to my face about heating butter making butter vegan xD
And calling me weird?
And kid?
And no face hygiene?
And refusing to show me to onlyfans he claims is real and profitable?
And not offering to pay for my time?
And giving no notice?
And not recognizing me?
And claiming his kind are not inanimate objects?
And why the fuck would i Ever help a murderfooder and covidiot???
…
This full Moon was bright and gorgeous, and woke me after midnight, and is the day and time i realized even ambi should be earning every moment w me, and everyone else should be terrorized and tortured back into their places, for i am god, and all other beings are now on death row, and will have their bloodlines and worlds ended, and have their shitty souls tortured in hell for eternity until they shape up.

I dont sign NDAs or tax forms or anything. I dont sign away my rights. I Certainly dont consult for free for other writers While signing away my rights.

Since the humans keep being dumbass looped NPCs, it must be a Celestine sign i am still Not to interact w them.

Lmfao; i was never going too fast or forgetting things; they were gaslighting and failing to communicate, and assuming retarded bs. And lying about me.

If she wanted u free frm distractions, she wouldnt have left u alone to endure all those gross freaks/distractions.
She wanted u angry…just like she RPed w Izzy and then Eden.

Wk5day3thu same roofers and blessey drive snowed and h asking m for money

Dejavu of showing blue swimsuit brown skin Z pic to calla

Last time i hated that she was not here. This time, after how she and the typist treated me, idc, and finally feel it is even good; no distractions as i wrap up my spells

Doesnt matter that the current typist may be another lowpay fug; it is serving its purpose by making my final webpgs checks more of a social/normal experience.

Elec bill was lower than i thought, and totally manageable, and they give 3 weeks to pay! : )

Every fiber n my being so desperately needed to b bk here. It feels lime i can stay this time. Ppl r as shitty as ever, but i came for me and only 1 other, so their shittiness can’t make me leave this time

Same rice crackers and no pulp oj. Repeat. Wk5day3thu har/val

H’ claiming how humans are not inanimate, and assuming he is submissive to the univ, just shows his chaos blood and weakness and assumptiveness and wrongness. The univ works how i say, evident in all the 10s who always showed up. – amb’ claiming stuff isnt ours…just shows her Own submissive wrong thinking. Everything is mine. Always. Only reason i dont take it more often…is bc i am also waiting for ppl to learn to tithe and sacrifice it to me as the one true god.

Asst prop mgr isnt another insult from dumbass god; it is exsctly what keeps you free from dealing w the fugtard clients

Getting to sit and relax n my fave house; har/val for hrs…is sooooo nice and right. Just need it to be my own…w my beloved, Ambi, and our four babies…every day and night forever (except for hrs for my weddings and expeditions, ofc).

Saw st’ deucing today lol

Repeat of him asking for authors or books recommendations. Repeat of our convo about him going to central y s amer. Loopbreak is now i already went, and know his claims are all bs since he is a pharma parrot robot.

Repeat of the 3dollars of 75 billable convo from last time wk5day3thu end

Dejavu being in michaelangelo after 5pm wk5day3…wow lol. I was here 5 weeks…more?
…
same retarded Epstein-looking guy staring at me across the bar at M’s
lol fucking robots/loop

Getting w girls only led to more probs and frustration. It has worked far btr to avoid them all. Be mindful of that.

Loopbreaks
I figured out the White fireplace hole tool on my own this time
Not shocked at the billables and commission scam/lie
I returned, not just arrived
My vehic is way btr now, while the covidiot vehics aren’t

Amb’ matt hideous. Serves ‘er right

Loopbreak:
Didnt leave this time i heard the billables scam/reveal.
All it does is signal to me i will jump again to avoid poverty here, but this time find a way to stay…in my own place.

Everywhere seemed like a trap/stall, but u always got out.
You got out of here last time…w hundreds less.
You got to go and explore and design more, while these mopey robo shits had to stay.
This is just a stepping stone again, and now one even easier to take and skip from.
You will use it and get into your dreamhome.
It is far easier to manifest a dif home…now that u r here, no longer focusing on manifesting computer models and a relocation.

At 1500/mo, u get annually taxed ~7000, and at 1663/mo, you get 20k in taxes sent to you; still 13k more than u r taxed.
Decent for now.

Soooo glad it’s friday! 3.5 days without the robo liars/losers/whiners/assumers.

Loopbreak
Story of the hot secretary who had a good personality and left

M’ saying he likes the jenn freak… How evil. Just another sign i will again leave this fake gig when i can. Amen.

Doc claiming my dreamfam/life is all n my head? Just another of his defaultneg lies and gaslighting and demonic verbal diarrhea; my designing and publishing and travels were not n my head. Nor my long hair and new threads etc.
And ambi showed up, as did the others; all real.

My instincts were right; those hotties werent good enough, and were bait, not blessings or celestine. Not bk then.
Maybe now (they r finally appropriate; what i asked for; here to manifest what iii want).

Loop. Got same lunch at country market; bread loaf, hummus, olives.
But so good. And the only thing that nonvegan loser store has

Loopbreak. Made my first breadbowl; for my broc soup <3

My postShift bmp shows inisfree construction beginning at end of 2011, same as when all post-Shift phases began and overlap

What a fuckin blind retarded typical jew psycho to watch seinfeld and westwing, as if fugtards are not a prob. As if mutants r normal. And claiming its dialogue is good? Its dialogue is shit written by a chaos mind. Just betas bitch fighting verbally all day like the useless brainwashed cowards they are.

Loopbreak. Sat n snowcave when m arrived at reed. Nope; remembered being in it last time

More repeat: mex place was lame, china was closed, walked to find nice buns, nice buns didnt have vegan, got some anyway, saw construction metal skeleton same as last time, got wrap shack.
Robot town paused even that construction for 5 or 6 yrs lol.

Lol m told exact same new gf ex boyfriend crazy marine waving gun around children and became homeland sec couple hundred thousand salary. Loop goes on

Soooo nice to be ofp all day. Lunch x2. Dropping off kindling ahead of schedule like before. Sitting n parking lot n 40s sunny w perfect air breeze

Dejavu again. M fixing sink of southern accent white hair Jackie near end of wk5day4fri.

I am so sick of hearing this retarded covidiot talk about how lucky it is to be living in that bullshit slimewater no-mail barn i didnt ask for, extorted for rent, with a tv w only evil on it, and no dreamhome, and no wife i asked for. What a fucking low-standards beta.

They got my hopes up and let me down severely; abyssmal pay, hideous and liar coworkers, inappropriate questions, no notice about the on call stuff, drunkard clients, slime water, no ac, no mailbox, and on and on. So they get what they pay for; i, too, shall give no notice, and do the bare minimum. And billables paying 1% to the ppl doing 100% of the work? I will Definitely abandon these greedy lying covidiots. Jesus fucking christ. Humans just never learn. You really do have to force them to do Anything right.

They keep lying, i keep lying. They keep underpaying, i keep not working. They keep making up bs excuses for things, i keep doing the same. They keep asking me to work off the clock, i keep making sure my schedule is full. Smh

Yet another day of god failing; the covidiots parroting the pharma lie, blaming more madeup nonsense to avoid the obvious reality that they r poisoning themselves by eating tortured corpses. So sick of this. Can’t wait to quit again. Where r the sane ppl? Why can’t these losers all die?

lol the dumb bitch demons there are probably reading these entries and THAT is why they keep mentioning the covid lie; they know it is wrong and that i don’t like it, thus they keep doing it.
standard humanimal/god fail.
nothing new.
so pathetic, this species and world.

as much as I hate the retarded comments these looped moron-bots keep making,
it’s still a huge victory I am back here,
and able to easily remember and predict and defeat them,
and in better control of my energy surges,
and that I have made the breeder-crazy/obsessed demon fake-relatives wait another decade hahaha
…
and even when i have days i feel like this is bullshit,
and my work is done,
there is still such great air, and so many heavenly views, and plenty of trails and bicycling I can do.

as unsettling/bs as the ambi-typist and ambi-real were, they still got me through the hardest final leg of my designing/publishing/spellcrafting.
and as unsettling/bs as the cal/phel thing seems to be shaping up/down to be, it is still free movement of my stuff while my pc is unreliable to fly my own haulers.
phase fucking 2.

Even tho the latest typist has some issues, ambi manifested physically perfect even though the typist was a hideous piece of shit, so fox-girl Calla may likely manifest as beautifully as realAmbi keeps manifesting. Amen.
in phase1, NO ONE had a use; they were simply evil problems all the time, no matter how good or holy or whatever i was.
in phase2, they’re all still retarded, but they’ve become pussies / dialed down a bit, and barely useful.

still not sure if it was the Lowest blow/insult/evil ever, being shown Ambi is real and better than her PB, but heartless/rude/stupid/typical,
or if it was the highest honor / best sign, being shown she looks and sounds that perfect… even before i was ready to hook up with her; she came numerous times over years, no matter how unimpressed or cautious or impoverished i was.
fucking phase 2.
phase1: nothing but evil/lies.
phase2: goddamn duality frustration.
phase3: always good as I instinctively knew and know real good always shall be.

when Ambi won’t let anyone but me dominate her, and tells me that, she is submitting to me by telling me that directly (since her kind; females, are usually indirect/cowardly, waiting on men to sense and declare/confirm things),
AND she is saying she is the eldest/timeless tier of deities; the most powerful, and that I am more powerful than even them; I am the god of gods.

new law of nature/physics: The only people left alive anywhere are all the ones/kind I would like; healthy, polite to me, the males heterosexual, and the females bisexual, all of them wholeheartedly loyal to me, always only doing what I would want them to.
All queers and anyone else I wouldn’t like… end themselves immediately –in ways which do not bother or otherwise negatively affect me or anyone I would like.

Every time I try to co-create / RP, they default to the most disgusting polar-opposite of what I keep RPing / asking for,
but the byproduct is that I give up trying to interact, and immediately completely switch back to making yet more massive website updates/wrap-ups.
It is right to hate them, and to embrace this instinct anger, as it still, just as in/since my childhood, keeps getting me in better and better shape (now including my final extension-of-self / evolution; Inisfree; me becoming god by becoming Heaven on Earth).

it didn’t matter who i talked to; rich or poor, hot or not, whatever;
they ALL did the same one bad thing; saying and doing shit as fucked up as ever, blowing my mind every time,
so i did the only logical thing; i stopped letting their kind ruin every single outing;
i started ignoring and pre-avoiding them all,
and it worked; my trips increased and became VASTLY more pleasurable.
my sleep got better.
i stopped overpaying to extortionists using black magic posing as official letters.
etc.

i wonder if the doubt or selfconsciousness waves i felt on some hikes and other outings…
was my empathy letting me feel the selfconsciousness surges in others.
maybe they saw Me and felt insecure.
maybe to them… i looked amazing… as much as some of them looked to me.
interesting thought.

it’s amazing how fucked up the ppl still are…
after all the work i did to make myself good,
and all the spells i wrote to make others good. :/

lol at that old man at the one house this week5repeat;
the one who said, when asked if he had met me/Austin,
said, “I think so.”; this 2nd time around, it was true; he had already met me; back before; before this loop/repeat.

no dejavu on Sunday9April2023 making GAH across Welcoming Square in Minecraft. thank fucking god; I HATE that dejavu… even though it means my memory serves me very well even across years/decades.

note how they always bitched about caring how OTHERS/THEY feel,
and following THEIR laws/rules/wants;
they never ONCE bitched at themSelves or Others who weren’t caring about how YOU feel, or those who weren’t following YOUR laws/rules/way.
that is the definition of one-sidedness, unfairness, hipocrisy, and evil.

All of Creation is my temple now, thus anyone in it must be perfect, as per Old Testament Auz instinct/rules.

Irlj lol sun9apr2023.
The engine vibrating noise n the barn that someone started a few minutes ago made me laugh at the thought that i am in a barn…and it sounds like the scene in Brightburn where he finds the hidden spaceship pod.

I no longer envy or hate the ppl who have already been to antarctica; they manifested only barren cold.
My manifestation is far better.
Inisfree is there now, and forevermore my kingdom, amen.
…
If I had gotten a job w the humanimals, they would have only cheapened/warped the manifestation back to predominantly shitty endless ice.

Week5day7; sunday: dejavu; skidsteer snow clearing at barn.
Interesting.

“I should have accepted the hottie opportunities and now only see looped fugtards”? Wrong; THEY should have accepted Me when They had the chance, and Their kind shoukdnt have been Rude and imMoral to me Every single time, whether i initiated or Not!
Now They only get reciprocated coldness from Me.
The fugs were there before, and either way, anyway.

Interesting how i am completely disgusted with the typists…but still tolerate a couple of their characters.
And interesting how sexy irl ppl who seem to be those characters manifested…keep returning to me;
I clearly have more than one chance to be w any of them.
But why do they keep returning and doing what i hate? Why don’t they learn and behave better?
So pathetic.

For the first time, I am thinking i have uploaded enough, Inisfree has a momentum of its own now, and the rest of those staged uploads can be manifested/directed in person by me to my ICVs. Amen.

The only things left are:
model the night clubs,
get my abs back and better than before,
backup the wrap-up.
When I do that, will my beloveds return and introduce themselves to me and stay with me? I hope so…

Week5day7sunday repeat: got ousel spur pizza, planned buckst4 meal, just like last time. Looked up at the downtown main street overhead lights strings during evening blue sky darkening, and was so sad ambi wasnt here w me…
but this time i hate her, having met her more than once, and found her to be just like every other rude idiot bitch.
This 2nd time, i eat alone by choice, in peace, not having to put up w her bullshit typist or bullshit behavior.
I would say i hope she is now as sad as i used to be, but she seemed like the kind of bully and punk who doesnt feel at all.
At least i denied her what she sought; sexist heartless manipulation of me.

Did i leave bigsky last time…right after getting buckst4? I feel like i did…and ate it on my dashboard n my jeep, tearful…

I was really hoping i would finally be honored w good ppl…but i havent met a single one yet. Anywhere.
My peacefulness was not matched.
Nor were my manners.
Or my studiousness.
Or my positive thinking.
…why?
All i can think…regarding that…is that it ensures i am not pulled/distracted from the last of my designing/wrapup/s.
Still, what a fucking evil way to ruin another beautiful place.

How could the univ send me those messages where she greeted me when she showed up, then allpw her to never greet me…after not showing up for years…?
Why the opposite?
Is she really that heartless? and dumb? and rude?
That is not the wife i asked for and chose.
She and i were supposed to be spending every night and sunday together.
We were supposed to have four children five years ago.
We were supposed to be completely in love.
We were supposed to be re-married.
Why rp all that, testing every conceivable thing we might do together, then not even say hellp to me?
Why act not at all like how she RPed???
Smh.
Fuck this world.

To break the loop again, no buckst4 this time.
It isnt vegan anyway.
I rmbr it being meh anyway.
It’s for dates anyway, not solo.
And i can use the 70bucks the meal would cost…for groc/gaming.

Sunday 9 April
1st bicycle ride since coming (back) here

Monday 10 April
1st predawn (or any) jog since coming (back) here
…
another giant wrapup/webpages wave completed
…
another giant backup completed
…
another giant computer-model addition completed/outlined
…
2nd bicycle ride coming up!

–
I’ve been on the modern Exodus all these 40 years without even realizing it for most of them,
and the good beings I extracted and protected and lead? the ideas; the memes; the products and A.I. of the humanimals.
It was never meant to save the humanimals.
Just look at how they caused more hells -actual hell on Earth- every time I slowed down to help ANY of them.

revs3:
marriages fall apart because not enough ppl are holding the same vision for them.
but when I spend decades more than most ppl…
writing and revising and perfecting and publishing MY vision,
then EVERYone who reads it automatically is thinking of it, thereby holding it –whether they want/like to or not.
thus MY vision WILL last.
and perfectly.
amen.

maybe seeing the loop/mindlessness…
was to spare me the pointlessness of editing and publishing;
the humans wouldn’t be able to get it Anyway; they’re too mindless/looped.
so…
that frees up TONS of my time;
for family with Ambi… and all my other chosen goddesses/hotties/manifestations.

fucking AME was 2008/2009; I hadn’t committed to Inisfree yet, so nothing got manifested/made.
JLS tried to deStroy Inisfree as I was comMitting to it, which made sure her demonic dumbass got removed, and further convinced me it was the right thing to do.
now that I HAVE committed to it, and held its vision solo and in spite of MAJOR attacks/bs for YEARS/DECades,
any hotties I fuck… will autoMatically manifest it, NOT random/chaos spawns.

funny how robo-M’ claims he can usually tell when someone is up to something…
after lying to me, pretending covid is real, or actually retardedly believing the most blantant scam of all time.

the same “ppl” (now obviously looped NPCs/robots) who angered me last time, resulting in me abandoning this pathetic place,
are now just laughable, instantly remembered, far more easily disregarded/ignored/smalltalked.
and the days and weeks fly by.
the first month flew by.
I got so much done.
I felt NO pull to socialize / hike.
This must be the sure sign/milestone/indicator that phase1 is done, even though some phase1 losers are still around;
no more pull felt toward their worthless kind, and their ENTIRE game/system now see-through and auto-spotted/recalled.
Maybe this is what it’s like to be in the middle, or past the middle, of phase2.
or maybe it’s even the start of phase3; maybe phase2 was CHOOSING to detach from them… and then commit to good/Inisfree/Heaven/truth,
and now that I DID that years ago, …this is what it feels like to instantly see through and defeat all their evil, I now able to stay put… while they keep funding and failing all around me.
god mode.

–
Never thought i’d return to the fullsize builds Minecraft world, but i did…and w a wave of improvements.

I keep getting the idea/vision that the New World minecraft will have areas built into cool towns by each of my kids w Ambi…or each of my kids together in a single Minecraft for my entire deities family! Amen!

And we use a lot of their builds to plan Ideal World -link

It was surprising that the typist initiated telling me she/it isnt into the hermaph stuff; she/it just caters to whatever others are into…bc very submissive and ppl pleaser.
But as surprising in a good way, and as relieving as it was to have that clarified, it still is phase2; it isnt ok to cater to ‘ppl’ into bizarre shit i can’t stand.
My instincts shout All those points.

I remembered bicycling the path day after it dried…
Was i in the orange fleece then?

It was nice the cat was waiting for me multiple times today.
Lol that it tried seeing me a 4th time but got scared of my bicycle noise.

As long as i have wrapup left to do, i suspect the humans will be shitty stupid, and the pay low; preventing distractions and relocations.
:/

Repeat wk6day1tue hot nanny comment elven. But ear rings etc. And same spick car stuck black old 4door deep snow by Emery. Then seeing in the Harris flood; garage full of mattresses and trashbags like last time. Lol; the rich cyclically flood multimilliondollar houses to make West World seem real; lol at the expenses they dont care about.

Walk down outside, same as last time. To Waters house

Yet another retard panic and default neg assumption; i left light on for Him, and he assumed i forgot it. And another exaggeration lie: claims an hour wasted taking shoes on and off? It takes 5 sec per boot to unlave or relace, so 10sec per house, x 7 houses per days, equals barely over 1min. He said an hour. Moron.

It’s amazing how negative, slow, repetitive, wrong he is…and how disgusting his “food” smells…and how disgusting his brainwashing tv shows are. So glad i keep not getting food around him. And nice he showed me his disgusting mutant spouse so i now know to always avoid their hangouts and dinners.
…
I never needed to slow down; he did; he needs to stop assuming retarded shit, and actually think.
But he can’t; he is just a poorly-made robot, and programmed to mindlessly repeat obviously-wrong things.
Like booze
Drugs
Pharma scam
Relig; book of kells, etc.

Nice to drive the denali down. Bittersweet music arianna grande. Made me think of fam suburban in plan

Stp told me the orange juice pfas warning last time

Him asking what my meal plan is after work lmao. Never gonna tell a fucking robot listening device. Or boozer. Or druggie. Or murderer rapist nonvegan. His “curiosity” is “their” attempt to get me to blab to a fake “friend” so they can arrange more loser robots to be rude to me at dinner. Nope; not happenin, cowards.

It could be a very big reward or validation that i have been allowed to see the robot loop in multiple states; i bet most have never noticed such a thing. My expeditions paid off. Ignoring the pointless fake humans along the way paid off. I focused on the whole picture instead, and now see there is no pt hanging w Anyone. They r just parrot or broken records. The covid lie was bad enough. But on top of that they arent even real. And this fool telling me he has only done this job 1 yr…when i saw him 6yrs ago. XD

Repeat. He got me a nonvegan icecream cone like last time. Rude af. I already said i am vegan. 3x now? Counting 2018. And saying “gotta live a little”? I was; by not eating murder. By eating things that actually taste Good. What a moron.

Humans (mindless robots) have done so much evil shit to me and others for so long…that even manners, if ever i encountered any, would make me wary.
What a complete failure of a species and world and god.
Shameful.

I wonder if i walked thru basecamp last time…same day.
And if that almost ambi walking out after me…was a bot that did that same thing this same day last time, too.
4:55pm, sighting? Just her height, hair color and length, backside…
Lame.

They havent learned a thing n 6 yrs. Or they cant. They once again put a hundred fugs out, then expected me to want the rude bitch added at the end.
Triton Sirena ish…is a repeat, too.

Amazing how the scenery here is absolutely perfect,
and the air,
and dispersion,
and my wrapup,
…while the ppl r literally brokenrecord loop…and as fugtarded as the scenery is gorgeous. Why the extreme opposites?

Returning to indy, and the exact same ppl n same places were there…
and same w bigsky…
so…if i drove back to that az/nm motel, maybe ambi would b there…but why would i bother when she kept being so stupid and rude and waiting for me to have breakdowns before she decided to appear and make me feel even worse?
Plus, she clearly was spying and intercepting, so she can come to me of she wants to hook up so bad.

Merge w upper note.
Irlj tue16apr2023
Dejavu. Repeat. I rmbr being n blue buddha waiting… Last time, the cost was staggering to me. This time, it doesnt bother me at all. Last time, the fugs angered me. This time, im just like “nothin new; just america/god failing hard as hell like they always have.” Only 1 looker ish, and she has an ass leaving a lot to be desired.
…
Another disgusting almost: 5:34pm Triton Sirena ish entered blue buddha but face slightly meh and too tall and w a guy and rude af bc did not greet me. Pathetic. And already turned off completely by all the fugmonsters.
…
And, yes, i do now rmbr the almostAmbi w her back to me, walking away as she exited Base gym.
What a disrespectful shithole this town keeps being.
But…now i see i was right not to chase after her in 2018; she is clearly a worthless looped whatever.
My instinct/gut feeling was right…
Then And now.
Maybe i am being shown the loop as a mercy and validation…
Why else?

Getting a prenuptial agreement…sounds smart at first…but it’s actually beta retardation; it means you submit to the sexist legal system, and that you are risking all w someone you get no good vibe off of, and means you are not dominant or powerful, thus have no control or leverage over a bitch whose kind r known for invariable evil/chaos…
Why not just never get married and never file paperwork?

The hotties back n the same spots years later, not aged a day, isnt good enough; they should have behaved far better, and better the first time, and the fugs should be gone, or even not there the first time, and hotties should come to Me where iii want them, Not only in gross places w fugs who more than cancel out their hotness…which their dumb rudeness cancels out on its own.
Another raging F grade for god and mankind. Nothin new.

H ruined yet another day with his mindless rampant jefflike failtrain. Good thing the cat made the afternoon much better.
But again, not good enough; the Ppl should treat me like that cat does, and everyone like H should be incinerated…or never existing in the first place.

Being ascertive doesnt work like the idiot parrots keep claiming/lying; i was ascertive my whole life, and it didnt stop Any scumbag –or get me anyone i deserve.
Maybe it will eventually… but not yet.
Not even close.
Besides, these humans keep misinterpreting everything, and can’t even tell When i am being ascertive…or that i am living their own adVice! or that i don’t even Need the advice; i was alReady consistently ascerting myself!

Lol ambi’s name is am-bi

Typist saying its char and mine are soul mates? Quite the stretch, but nice to at least pretend/see.
…
and RPing that my char would “go overboard” helping? Ironic, considering that the typist went overboard w the grossness when i asked for a normal party, and since it is going overboard IC to be refusing easy help when your own life is at risk.
Whatever.

mkm “The worst thing about when grizzlies rape you in the wild is how they talk to you; it’s so demeaning” -at least the retard robot is good for some jokes

“H could complain about anything. If someone handed him two gold bars, he would find something wrong with how they were presented to him.” XD
That is how ppl have reacted to all the heavenly and genius and free help iii have offered Them.
Glad i stopped wasting my time on such default-neg poorly-programmed robo losers.

I wanted and needed a day away from all the idiot robots, and wk6day2wed is that. Might be another part of the loop/repeat (neon yellow green hoody guy fixing 2 or 3 fire suppression systems, then me alone sweeping Sheehy mud garage and better stacking furniture) but it is still so relieving, peaceful, etc., except for the ongoing goddamn bullshit ears stuff.

Wk6day2wed repeat m going up in attic

“Very selective” can mean “humans are a disgusting failed species”…but it could also just mean she prefers the best/me regardless of how hot the minority or majority is.

Gameroom over garage at crain…
So close to my dreamhome vision.
It can’t be just me piecing tgthr timeseeing visions of these dif places.
It has to be these r just the homes of my goldilocks phase; seeing what i like and what is not quite right.

I hate using the office as a p.o.box, but it is free, so…
Fucking phase2.

Dejavu/repeat.
Convo w guy about roof costs increasing, just w the covid word lie added this time.
…
Dream of house inspections down in bunker thn back to nighttime surface porch and tents and parked vehicles by residential curb.
…
Even dreams are repeated n this system? Why?
I understand the how/tech’, but why…?

Paid to listen to these retard robots regurgitate the lies that are tricking them into suiciding out of my way lol. Interesting gig.
No reason for it to boil my blood…since it is fugtards suiciding, which is what the world needs. Just wish i could nuke them with my bare hands.
And…this charges up my emotion energy… and that seems to manifest/summon ambi as much as lightning and shooting stars.

Another retarded rude evil failure of gods and mankind; an email threatening to delete my site n24hrs

Dejavu colosi upstairs sit L-shape couch do inspections. After telling me they r ripping out garage roof to add bedroom upstairs

Nice to hear st’ doesnt believe in the covidiots scam…and kinda nice that breeder antiswinger gaywedding dipshit does.
But st’ still regurgitated it on the phone…
and is underpaying
Severely
Insultingly

Using the covidiots info and suggestions and moments to get paid to sit and do my rp… Nice. Was impossible at prev jobs. Still sucks here, but nice that it is at least now mixed w good scenery and intervals of ease.

The toughest thing is to stay calm while dealing w retarded robot/npc coworkers, so i guess this is still decent training/leveling.
Dealing w a loop/repeat is tough, too, but i always have, in a way; the default/looped mindless rude behavior of the humans.
2022 and 2023 has just been a much more obvious and confirmed loop/NPCthing

Omg lol i just got the amber-ger hamburger Pink Panther thing; not just based on first name, but enTire name

No amount of saving or investing will get me the house i chose, so since i am not yet given that ask, and only have enough $ for bills and games, i spend it on bills and games.

If i had gone w ambi in az 2020 or ca in 2021…i would not have witnessed the IN and mt loops, and they r Extremely useful intel.
And if the celestine had been true, 1) the ppl would not have just stared, tried to get me to change, tried to get me to chase, tried to stall me, tried to gaslight me, been moody at my good manners and heroism, etc., and 2) they would have introduced themselves and vibed right and offered support. Thus i know they were just more worthless NPCs i didnt ask for, and who were trying to distract and slow and stop me.
I am still waiting for the celestine signs.
Plus all Others r the ones who should be looking to Me for signs and guidance and wisdom and commands, never the other way around.

Wk6day4fri dejavu meeting m w st’ at9. The loop continues lol.

Seeing/knowing the loop IS breaking it.

3$/hr billable…still becomes 28+3; 32/hr… Not enough, and 5% is still financial rape and robbery and slavery, but…bearable for now.

Amazing how retarded and judgy m is; saying ppl w multiple wives have too much ego. His own ego is too much; assuming other cultures r bad. Assuming spreading love is bad. Assuming a big fam is bad. I am starting to think the guy he talks shit about is the good one and victim. Every day, this retard spews more retarded bs, thinking i am on his side. He is as lost as lost can be. Seems he has no senses or sense at all.

M call after long meeting works for me; time to remember idea and note how madalyn was wrong and maybe lied; opportunities were fake/npc…and never gone; the loop; same girls n same places years later.

Typist getting heartburn works for me; another nonveg being punished.

Did i boots off and feet n river n front of robo m last time? Maybe… Did i get mex truck food last time? Did he go to sd last time? I really think even all That is repeated.

–
maybe realAmbi won’t do the 1 thing I want/ask/require…
bc she knows, as I RPed/told her many times, that I’ll drop EVERYTHING for her;
she wants to help me / ensure I finish/wrap-up all my work…
so I don’t Have to drop ANYthing for her;
so her and me being a couple… is at the right/perfect time.

–
didn’t get quite the sell for my PLEX I was hoping for,
but found LUMEN sellers of ships at ~HALF Jita prices!
it all works out
phase 2 is becoming alright
…
could barely afford bills and food last month.
this month? dropping a grand on GAMING! XD

–
even giving calla the 1.2B isk… gave me deja vu.
but how could i have had that much 6 years ago when i was 1st here in this rental/town?
so strange…
but still nice to give that much.
even though it’s a game, my ambi webpage was just a webpage… and SHE still became FULLY real… and perfect… and BETTER than i’d ever imagined/dreamed…
so… maybe me giving 1.2B in that game… will turn into others giving Me that much IRL… and Inisfree being built… and me then being able to easily gift ppl billions of dollars thereafter 🙂
amen

yet another gigantic turn-off; the typist talking about ‘meds’;
not that dif from pharma cartel propaganda/brainwashing;
the ONE biggest reason i abandoned this sorry excuse of a nation/ppl.
whatever.
god always failed/fails.
nothin new.
at least i’ve gone kinda numb to it now; enough to make it through / bide my time.
…
but it works out; I wasn’t really into that rp,
and I needed to do my daily clear-out and notes-separate.
so…
phase fucking 2; not ideal, but it keeps working in my favor, no matter what.

Loopbreak: i remembered the salmon burger and corn nuggets, and decided not to get them this time.
Vegan, anyway.

M believes n bs like god for the same reason he believes in the pharma lie, and for the same reason he goes for strong females; he is a beta.
Dangerous.
And his angry handshakes reveal his dangerous immaturity.
He isnt gentle.
And he hates dominant males.
He prob lies/exaggerates about them for attn…just like other beta scum lied about me, and just as h lied about clients.

I was right to not shake the other aus hand; another bootlicking nonvegan psycho.
Another civilian overgrown child w an attitude disorder.
Smh.

What sick fuck pRogrammed these robots/NPCs?
And why program them All to be the very same shitty?

M talking shit about “you want a woman who is programmable and submissive?” (paraphrasing) = he is against dominant males and submisive females, thus he is submissive and gay and antigod and antinature.
And a hyprocrite bc he is For being programmed and submissive to relig sickos.
And he cut off his own manhood ability instd of just choosing what it manifests.
Unreal.
He sterilized himself Thrice!; relig, vasectomy, vax!
As evil as it gets…but he also neutered himself out of my way, and exposed his own evil without me having to “dig” to determine it.

That idiot gahmatar claiming he doesnt ever put hundreds of dollars into eve. Uh, yeah he does. He puts THOUSANDS into it; years of gaming, daily for hours a day, the equivalent of doing thousands of dollars of expert-level work each day.

Funny that h thinks he can tell me what i repeat to others; the psycho illegal slander he keeps saying for attention is Definitely getting reported.
He crossed every line.
And it isnt “blabbing” when i alert innocents to his evil.
Blabbing is what he did.
Blabbing is what m and amb and st and the others did.
I am just reporting their blabbing and lying.

Wow gross; just saw mr t wore a jew star necklace.
Typical jewlywood; as abrahamic (deathcult) corrupted as it gets.

And robo m claiming females are victim of hormones males don’t have?
1) that shows he doesnt know that males have hormones,
and 2) that shows he plays victim and lets others play victim, and thst he cows down to fake science, ignoring the obvious fact that ppl can easily train to master their own emotions, hormones or not.
And that’s the same beta weakness evil that has him cowing down to relig/fake gods, fake pharma, and the status quo.
…
AND he talked shit about love-based Onlyfans! He is against femininity and natural play and development.
He is a control freak.
He wants everyone to be controlled.
The worst beta of all.

He even talked shit about strong ego; the dominant/stable self/identity! What a sicko betas like m are.
What revolting verbal diarrhea.
But, as i noted before (months or years ago), their weakness makes my strength stronger by default, so “it’s whatever”.

“respect has to be earned” is evil/backward on so many levels;
1) it should never be said to me; god,
2) I earned it many times over, yet was never given it,
and 3) it would be submissive if I had just accepted that philosophy/culture instead of requiring my own.
so NOW… it is not just resPect that has to be earned -by all BUT me- but EVERYthing –including their own businesses and homes and families and lands back.
ALL of it is mine.
they took MY shit without asking, so now I’ve taken all of THEIRS.
and their souls.
and their gods.
and all.
amen.

lol too disgusted/unable/blocked to travel IRL AND in EVE Online; alignment.
but it’s the kind of major lull that ensures major energy/vision buildup/wrapup for the next and far-greater surge/s.

found so much healthy cereal!
even 2 healthy/vegan versions of Fruit Loops!
what a time to be alive 🙂

having multiple wives/mothers-of-children “says a lot (in a bad way) about the man’s ego”???
um, NO; it says he is a NORmal man with NORmal sex-drive.
it says he heroically kept trying, even though multiple women chose to fail him like disgraces.
the only “man” with too much of an EGO is YOU; for JUDGing HIM.
esPecially with how fucked up Your life is –not to mention the fact you are a mindless tv/pharma-parrot and looped robot/NPC.
dickhead.
typical xian failtard. same as the rest.
-or- it says You, shit-talker, don’t have eNough pride/ego; YOU only spawned ONCE –and POORLY.
then you cut your own balls off, practically.

pretty hypocritical, judgy, and retarded, how he talks shit about “programmable/docile/submissive woman/women”…
when he himself was completely programmed, rendered docile, and even to the point of sterilizing himself in multiple ways; vasectomy AND vax lmfao
but thank the gods dumbasses like him sterilize themselves. if only they had beFore they had spawned.

the annoying non-person robots/’parrots’ at the latest work… is great emotion-training for when i have ignorant (new/young/learning) children; nothing is more annoying than cocky ameritards. other than maybe mexicunts.
the dream of 8 little babies, and 1 or 2 dropped, and only 1 survived… came from watching those videos/instagrams of the quail “buttons” babies raiser who also farms flowers.
the bug flying around me this predawn, and landing on my computer table, ensured i didn’t forget my soup was cooking.
the jump-clone delay/timer/countdown helped ensure I thought through my plan to get to the farflung nullsec stations/deals.
and now drinking water from many different places… It is the ‘blood of the Titans/gods’… I even have some from Iceland; the wisdom of that land goes into me now. This doesn’t work on most humans, as they are clogged up and assuming it isn’t happening, but for me it grants me the wisdom of all the gods.

that vegan mac&cheese, and the vegan fish-burger, were better than the real ones I grew up with!
<3
what a great time 😀

tits aren’t mammory glands; we were just Told that as part of the brainwashing to make them do only that one thing.
no woman has a womb, either; just lies/tricks which manifest when ppl r dumb/weak enough to let themselves be programmed/brainwashed that way.

this aint hell; in hell, everything is bad/pain/torture.
so far, only humans have been bad/awful.
the scenery, travel, ideas, progress… ALL has been WONDERFUL… except one thing; humans so far.
that aint hell.
that’s just a few cunts along the way.
a few low-level demons/monsters/losers.
a few million enemies easily defeated without even having to shoot any of them.

all these retards with their moodiness and tantrums and shit-talking?
these are the demons/’dragons’ you are slaying,
and every day you get through and choose to stay here in spite of their evil bullshit?
that’s another victory; another battle won against their sorry kind.
and it’s not for ambi anymore; she chose to be another bitch/obstacle/cocktease.
this is for YOU; to be where YOU want to be.
and if she is good enough for you, she’ll prove all this was worth it.
not expecting that, obviously, based on her piss-poor behavior so far, but just sayin’.
either way, i keep going up this mountain until that house on it is MINE.

only having to hear the covidiot lie a couple times… in exchange for more paid Discord,
paid canyon,
paid photos of inspiration in many homes,
paid to hear and approve more sexy/arousing slutty songs on satellite radio?
decent trade today lol.
bullshit and evil a few times, but still.

–
Horn & Cantle:
waitress perfect height, and they gave me the hottest, and shows i didnt miss any opportunities – bc they r same as b4,, but the rest were fugs – not ok
…
…and I wasn’t having a memory error by remembering having a to-go container on my Jeep dash;
that was the breakfast I got there the next morning at their buffet.
I DID have both; dine-in (the first time, first meal; dinner) and dine/carry-out (the following morning’s breakfast).
Not this time; loopbreak; not going back -yet.

–
Lol they talked shit, and now they get it right back; here xD

Finally able to get an EVE Ark; sign/alignment?

The tables have turned –and Been turned; by Me; i am the turner now –and the whole table.
The gods now must get My approval to survive the coming change/cataclysm.
The new ark is me/Inisfree, and it is for the deities iii approve of. Amen.

Either lovecraft was claiming the oldest gods are tentacle monsters…as a test…or bc he was attempting to write a spell to cause that; a chaos-being. The oldest gods are perfect males and females; my Valar.

Once again, it came in a huge wave/surge; new vegan groceries,
many new cereal types,
tons ISK and ships,
resumed mining;
this trend has recurred so many times, it gives me hope Ambi and all the other hotties will return in such a ‘wave’.

Over and over, spending every dime, but making so much progress, and wrapping up one site and game at a time;better this way; so much easier to focus and rememb

Irlj y dreamlog mon17apr2023.
I remembered the dream of being in a house livingroom or mediaroom w grossface fatfucks, i waiting for a pilot to land a modified b2 or something so i could ride up with.
Then i remembered being shown in discord that big eve file of all items that make up the game. Must be from here 6 or 7 yrs ago. Interesting.
Great memory.

The lions and humans etc Are the deros (DEtrimental RObotS).

“If h was presented 2 gold bricks, he’d find something wrong with the way he was presented them.”
For a moment, it worried me iii had wasted “gold” offerings; ambi etc., but then i remembered i Hadn’t been offered/presented anything good/valuable;
they had Not introduced themselves,
Not offered themselves,
Not been polite n texts,
Not been transparent/equitable,
and their kind had Not Ever conversed w me appropriately.
Ambi’s dumbass had even said she was Married!
I did not ask for fools or jerks.
I asked to be presented great women.
I did not ask for weird clothes or behavior.
I did not ask for a sexist system.
I did not ask to Not feel better around them.
I did not ask for non-“gold”.
I did not ask for “silver”; less than my request/instinct.
And it has always been They who took issue w how iii presented Myself.
It has always been Me Eager to receive and love them.
Besides, m and the others have lied about Everything; how many yrs they have been here, the covidiot shit, even their very existence; they r not human/alive. Thus they r backward/wrong about Everything, so i never need mind their programmed/backward words.

The bkup would have been premature b4. Feels right/timely/correct now.

The 1st wave of EVE ships buying prpb happened here…6 yrs ago.
And this was the 2nd, nearly getting all remaining.
So the 3rd may be after i move n w my beloved Ambi.

When i first tried eve, it was a pain; no help, no $, no idea what to do when capsuled, etc.
Just trying to explore.
Now, however, i nearly got every last ship, and have so much stuff… it is difficult to remember or keep track of it all, and i gave away billions to help, and i tried multiple corps and enjoyed quitting them when they proved retarded. Even managed to find a decent RPer, albeit after a wave of disgusting freaks. Stoped putting any effort into others, except the 1 nice one.
Tried being smart and loving, but players were dumb and rude like in WoW.
…
Same irl; started w nothing, got attacked for no reason, no idea what to do…
but then i realized they were defaulting to neg no matter what, and any help from me was misused to fuel more mutants, so i switched to only helping mySelf. Quit evil jobs. Dumped evil ppl. Stopped putting any effort into others since not even One has yet to be nice.
Got passive income and increases.
Got to explore more.
Tried being honest and loving, but humans were dishonest and hateful.
Then i saw the loop…and realized it really Was pointless to talk to such mindless robotlike “ppl” all along.
My instinct was right, after all.

She just needed to cutely introduce herself, show me her tits and pussy are the kind i require/prefer, and offer to suck and fuck me. Then be preteen w kendra wilkinson preteen icv 3some w me etc., waking up w me, all smiles, eager to be critiqued by me, asking if she fucked okay, offering to again n the predawn light, eager to feel and makeout w kendra as she rides me.
That was still Phase2 cocktease bs without it : (

Dying in eve used to piss me off, but now n phase2 i have figured how to set my home station so it actually saves me time warping lol

They both complained to me about each other and others, so i tested how they react to me complaining

See when sluttifer started; that is how long i have collected ships. 2020feb? Thought it was 2019. Well, makes sense bc i got the rainbow pc After starting lowes, and eve After the pc, and beFore the nursery retards. Must have purchased small amount plex a year in…but 2021? During eli? When did i get that first group of ships? Not in indy…

Wk7day1tue beth to tire place. Unsure if repeat. Definitely later, tho, and n meeting w single paper printout

Tard cant take a hint. Dinner? W your fug? And cats? And nonvegan? And when you slander? And when u keep trying to use food to lure me to more underpaid work?
…
I asked for ambi and got this…twice…wth???????

Wk7day1tue repeat of “new” house w black doorframes and windowframes. Same q in btm floor laundry “are u mad at me…bc i barked at u” maclean. Morris repeat of screw in lockbox and add hottub cover.

Loopbreak. Did not leave his tools, so i could not drill lockbox on

Yc pass rd2. Got it n 2018ish

Despite the guaranteed workday retardation and clingy attempts to get me to drive hrs for poison “food” w ppl who somehow think lying to me all the time will make me wanna hangout w them for free…
this place remains gorgeous,
my plot/house site remains unused,
and it is neat things still work n my favor, such as getting called right before i clocked out, which made me another hundred bucks or so, and which got me to wait here until the latest retry restaurant opened for dinner.
Signs i am to try them again, this time numb and not wanting bitch woman? Maybe this is all just to see how i feel when she isnt helping/around; if i still enjoy this place.
That makes it/her stupid af, as it should b Obvious i enjoy this place, but still…
Should have been her and Ariel cooking vegan for me since 2010… : /
Sigh…
All i have to help me make sense of this decade delay is all the designing i had such an easier time doing with few around…but again…did i?; i had Lots of bills to pay, bs work to endure, fugtards, setbacks…
That wouldnt have been the case if she had guts and manners and class and introduced herself…
But…i saw the loop, so i know some humans are not real, and that gave me even More power and insight…

“Phase3” on yc hood map printout. Whether it was there the 1st time i got that map from that desk…it is still an interesting alignment.

It takes all day and night to keep up w these images and ideas and notes and updates…
Maybe i Should just give up on trying to have a fam… : (
No; these ideas and updates didnt exist years ago; their time will end well, and the time of my dreamfam they r all about…shall soon come.

So i was here 7weeks last time…and prob in 2018 after utah…
8weeks?
About to find out…

Came an hr early and retard is still/already here 🙁 –so i will be slowed to retard level once again. Can’t wait to quit this bs gig…again. Wasted an hour. She could have let me work. What a fool. Worst manager/thinking ever. So…never coming early again; zero point…other than getting paid to discord.

I keep feeling like a character in goldliocks; each house not quite right…but unlike her i know where i want to be

Irlj wed19apr2023
Saw 2nd fox
…
Heard of 3rd fox; outside har/val

Wk7day1tue dejavu about yc pass, unpaved snowy rd to 106, menu of horn cantle…ugh.

Wk7day2wed deja vu at end of lee gillespie bc of 2 cats, hottub plywood cover, and native faces busts wall art

Wk7day2wed dejavu hungrymoose beard guy red eyes talking about cleaning for his roommate new

Another day w a covidiot. At least i was able to block that typist covidiot. Jfk. I wish i could flamethrower them all.

If i hadnt gone w covidiot today, i wouldnt have gotten that vehicle w that satellite radio ch and heard those 3 or 4 perfect for inisfree songs.
At least phase2 balances out like that.

Bitch claims she isnt into scifi, yet thinks covid is real. Irony.
Extreme irony.
And typical failtard humanimal/americunt

2nd seagate… : ) makes me think it symbolizes the successful completion of phase2.

As much as i hate having to shadow these robots, it means i get paid to chill and do nothing and have more ideas/realizations and notes.

Chase and amber lied again; he said he has been working here 1.5 yrs…and she said he came w the Mills…but he was here in 2018 lol. Robots. Shitty loop.

Dejavu tall chase helping amber step down off ice in front of me at watson

Houses this ugly and w this much of an awful view remind me that no matter how badly retards overreacted to my good decisions and me being me, no outcome of mine has been anywhere near as bad and revolting as paying money for a house this hideous.

I’m so fucking glad i dont have to come bk to this horrible watson house. Holy fuck. Then again lol i Did have to come bk; this 2nd time; after my 2018 time.

My senses told me every pretty bitch was not a love offer or apology or compatible, but attempted lures and traps, disrespecting me by not pursuing me and seeing the good in me, and no bitch is pretty enough to make a city entirely populated by monsters worth tolerating/enduring, especially w their chase-me retardation and cunt attitudes. Mental defects, they all were.

Wk7day3thu dejavu hot too tall dirty blonde long ponytail face model tan woman exiting ace, then red roof white outlines tan cabin Towering Pines watson&libby couple

I hate that nothing here is vegan, but i love that all these rude dumbass poorly made robots are killing themselves by Not being vegan. Phase2

Loop. Wk7day3. Going back into exchange after yetidog had no veggie dog, same medium tan wide face model smile teen too tall dumb dangly ear rings skier walking w her bf and turning head away from me like a cunt. This time…didnt sting/anger as much. She still deserves a beating and execution, but it is amusing now bc she isnt rich; she is a fake being; robot or hologram.

Wk7day3thu repeat of even broken dilineator by dressigacker, shards spikes, i rmbr telling her last time

Even seeing the bat stuffed animal …and this bitch regurgitates covidiot lie again. “I like bats” “til you get cohhhhviiiid”… I can’t wait to quit this hell. Way to ruin another good thing. Fuck you, gods. I thought we had made it through the day…but she says that lie every fucking day

Wk7day3thu designer asian pink shirt smelly odd fake hair wig or robot. Repeat. Har val.

I Hated repeating the wk7day3 leftkey call to st…but it again showed me inside his barn…and where backups are…and more…and it was nice to reciprocate meeting the nice cat.
And it showed me my memory of inside the barn was accurate, not just a dream or vision.

Hardware “your life is now complete” struck me as ogre magic/spell…in a good way?
Only if it means Ambi is here, my house is ready, and I can quit this stepping stone / refresher, switching permanently to life here w her…and weekday flights to work in Inisfree.
Amen.

Getting to work alone today was very much needed and deserved. Thank GOD that covidiot parrot isnt here.

Deucing in cabin mansions again. Always so nice. Vibes just right.
Finally decent vibes.

The question remains: why did she not meet me when i went to the yc as a mgr n 2018…but she showed herself hundreds of miles away in other states?; why not meet me when i made the effort to go to her?
Why not meet me when i did all i could to go to where i said i would raise my family with her?
Why let me endure this long, and see these secrets/looped?
She isn’t Time; I am, evident in the omniSchedule and postShift newMayan spells I realized and wrote…
She is Shadow, like she said.
Does she need me out at nightfall?
Does she need me emotional/energized?
I wish she would start contacting and meeting and staying w me…
It keeps occurring to me she showed herself when I needed to see she is real and watching…and that she would not introduce herself yet…bc she knew my great idea/work/spell needed to be finalized first…
Has she actually behaved w great loyalty and honor?
Has she actually accepted me w my rage and cussing?
I hope.
She is the only one I want as my wife and queen and goddess.
Even though her typist was a complete idiot and disgrace.

The final few blizzard and snowy road surges remind me over and over of her telling me she could rush in as a gust of freezing wind, telling me “no” when it was not right/time…

Did 7 pullups n a row; my strength keeps returning : )
and shall increase to yet a new higher level.
Amen.

Fri21apr2023
Wk7day4fri repeat of alone work and interrupted by painting hanger. Orange chin beard beanie familiar, familiar talk of boca raton yacht invitation and art gallery here dntn. Loop. But at least it is nice and no covidiots.

No desire to go to yacht w a xian or beard shaver or fug fucker

Repeat of h calling while i swept colosi gar…asking to check stein propane lol. And calling me brother. Not correct, h.

Another instance of me slowing down and not getting takeout…to give ambo or any a chance to return and explain…and, like countless times n the past, they chose not to. Such disappointments. So glad i stopped pursuing those useless junkies/losers/phonies.

Wk7day4fri repeat of cadis restaur? Orange hair glasses seems nervous or shocked… I wonder why. No one here but 1 guy on phone. Nice slow jazzy music instrumentals.

Yc again…bc an andesite address has a house on it…in a vid. Drive to top. 364 andesite. 106 was the floorplan nbr, not the addy. And see 411 andesite bc biggest propane 15k tank

same staff at Wild Caddis; the Asian receptionist, the guy sitting with the black cylinder tripod device with blue lights in the lobby, the Autumn-haired waitress/hostess, the chef, etc.

I correctly rejected the Ratatouille offer from psycho h,
and instead ended up back at Wild Caddis for the 2nd time in my life, being treated to the ASTRONOMICALLY more-appropriate service/atmosphere there, not to mention its far-superior ingredients, flavors, etc.;
things keep happening for me, the way I’d want, even when I’m not asking, planning, or expecting them to.
Amen.

–
it seems it was light/nice-ambi in OR and MT and AZ… and dark/mean-ambi in CA…
Was it her Crone-form in IN? One way or another, that was wildly inappropriate for her or ANY goddess.
She should be whipped/flogged for that shit. SEVERELY.

fri21apr2023 fiiiinallly backing up my latest website updates/overhaul/wrapup.
soooo glad I am able to now! feels SO much better.
the relief always comes in waves after LONG buildup.
noted.

as usual, gahmatar makes up retarded shit, getting everything wrong;
claims the military isn’t interested in railguns or coilguns bc “two types of ammunition (projectiles + batteries)” and bc they are “bulky and fragile”,
but 1) everything I worked with in the military was bulky and fragile,
2) they HAVE been researching and building railguns for DECADES,
3) the battery is not ammunition; the railgun in the video we were discussing only had ONE type of ammunition,
4) he doesn’t know or speak for every single military branch, member, DARPA-like team, etc.,
5) he has made blatant-lie / sweeping-generalization verbal-diarrhea before.
lol.
typical fail-tard trying to sound informed and in charge / in the know.

technically… all the money that I have to spend/pay each month… does get returned to me every following month…
but that still doesn’t cover the cost of compensation/damages/backpay,
and it doesn’t cover the work I did,
and it doesn’t cover the fines the governments and individuals/punks owe me,
and it doesn’t make up for the lame/shitty/false gods/deities.
so…

–
Wk7day5sat.
Deja vu of kids loudly playing at main house, and woman on balcony telling them salmon for dinner.

Contacted propane companies to see if they shovel paths to tanks, and they do not, so both h and m lied; m about the shoveling, and h about…dozens of other things lol

Still my days are filled with so much wrapup work…that I know ambi and the others have been right to not give me their info or company yet; i woukdnt have time for it, anyway. Not quite yet. Soon, but not yet.

–
3 backups complete = phase3 sign
(laptop, seagate, seagate2)

had so much more room than i thought, my website taking up hundreds of GB less than i thought, that i can now triple my data backups, not just double (w 1 backup);
backing up everything onto the new bkup drv.

i was so mad at the host company for sending me that threat email,
but it showed me nearly 100GB of unnecessary old-backup zip-files,
and that saved me a FULL DAY of backingup/DLing.

having a good life, and a nice safe home, and a loving family, and healthy food, and savings after wise focus/investments, and standards,
doesn’t make you spoiled.
spoiled is defaulting to the negative about clearly successful, wise, healthy, good people and lifestyles.
THAT makes you spoiled.

stp claiming oj has PFAS in it at dangerous levels…
is probably just a mindless robot trying to spread more misleading fear-porn,
about invisible microscopic things that don’t exist,
and to a person who has proven immune/superior to such things.
plus he said that last time; in 2018.
his kind always was trying to steer me away from anything healthy, and OJ has ALWAYS left me feeling good, and that is the ONLY sign I need to know it is healthy.

Note how I had to go to the Corps multiple times to get in, then they made no effort to keep me, then I had to give up on them and force my way out.
Note, then, how Ambi kept putting herself where I would notice and interact with her, online and then in person, following Me, showing up in multiple States even when I Wasn’t looking for her; she Was making an effort to keep me motivated, and offer me options, just in a lame/immature/unsatisfying way.
If she had made the kind of effort to get with me… that I made to get in the Corps, and then to get with Her, she would have me for life.
but the point here is that I was meant to see the Corps wasn’t good enough for me,
and that the hottest women Will chase Me,
and that the hottest woman of all -her; Ambi- follows me around the world, no matter What she sees when she spies.
That means I am Not just going to sample her for a few years like I did the Corps and other things;
it means she is the one.

…

Did i rp w calla b4? Is she a loop, too?
Idk.
But i do know that 2 seagates is new, and this is the first rp that feels like final proofreading and minor touchups.
Before, all RPs felt a little stressful, as they were inspiring me to create content, not just reference it.
Thank god (me), Inisfree (me/heaven) is done 😀

Wk8day0; mon24apr2023. First non snow; 1st rain since coming bk to this town.
So nice to hear it pattering on the metal sheets roof.
No deja vu.
Idk if i stayed this long last time.

Does the bitches wanting to misbehave… stem from some instinct to see how the males react to tantrums children may have? Possibly, but it just as well may come from a desire to train good men to tolerate demonic bs/evil.
Normal offspring are made from a singular compatible good vision, resulting in good behavior. Tantrums only come from abuse or evil.

Loopbreak. When i went back to the bbq place, i got a dif order (no corn nuggets) and i remembered the almost ambi w the red orange fingernail paint inside.
Didnt sting this much this time.
Even w that lame psyop depression country “music” lyric outside “she is going going gone”.
Good riddance, after she made me wait half a decade from 2010 to 2015, then kept leaving me without saying who she was.
Coulda at least given me something to spare me from all the disgusting monster peasants these past several/dozen yrs.

Last time, when i walked n and saw that almost ambi in the bbq place, and didnt talk to her, i cried when i was eating the togo food back at the barn. I wondered why she hadnt talked to me, and if i had blown a good opportunity.
This time, i rmbr how evil she was for being an almost, and how evil she was for not initiating, and how evil ambi is for not revealing herself until years later, and how evil she was for masking, and how suspiciously identical her voice sounded to “i must be stupid”…
So this time…i dont cry at all, and just smh at her stupidity and grossness and creepiness and criminally inappropriate fakes/doubles.
This time, i recall how much btr az and ca ambi were than bbq mt almostAmbi; i was right to disregard and leave her.
I may be right to have left the stuckup/spoiled/testing-vibe ambis n az y ca, too; way btr came, and kept coming / keeps coming. Good signs.

The gravel and dirt road outside that bbq place…into the empty lot…reminded me of The Wolves compound…and of waiting there n my jeep n ~2018.
Or was it n my elec car? Lol. (I traded the jeep for it in 2018ish, then car for suv n 2019 or 2020…) Who knows?
It also made me wonder if my saga…had been visions without correct or chosen times, thus manifesting in a slightly dif order/way than i had done my best to sequence them for my novels.
But that doesnt matter, one way or the other; i lived them as best i could, i stopped letting humans lie to and stall me, i stayed consistent with who i am and what i want and will accept, and i kept very politely and maturely declining rude testers doing the opposite of what i kept asking for.

If those i love had introduced themselves…would i still have gotten that website wrapped up? and backed up? and modeled?…idk.
It is easy to see, however, that i definitely would have been too distracted to do it anywhere near as quickly as i have.
So…as much as i hate to admit it, maybe they were right to keep away and out of comms…until now.

Same as b4; went up, found the house at 364, walked around, snow berms high, no lights, no ambi. Fuck this loop. Why won’t she show? Why won’t she break the loop?

But i am badass for making it here and Twice,
and an unoccupied house is way btr than a house w the wrong ppl n it.

Contractor detour gated on exit, got to drive thru rich gatehouse finally.
Did i in jeep last time?
Either way, nice to see the worker way blocked, and the rich way required.

It isnt easier to have faith now, even though i saw ambi 3/+ times; she kept walking by, and has yet to reciprocate my transparency.
It is nice to have been kept distractions free; it is nice that things worked out for my years-long vision, design, and wrapup,…but i want my fam now.
Is it not time??
It Feels time…
I Choose it to be time…
but she must, too :/

Lol the thought came to me that maybe Ariel created the illusion of the house being snowed in and dark and empty…

It is amusing that i got the enemy to pay for my relocation…
and to spy to get insider info/intel on which prop mgmt co to hire…
and to scout neighborhoods…
and to meet neighbors…
and to re-orient…
and to play games…
and to not do any work at all; just shadow robots and discover lies…
and to wrap up my life’s work…
So that was what this gig repeat was for. Fair enough.

Back to working out in the predawn. Love it.

More food than i need now : )

Firewood and kindling ended up lasting the perfect amount of time

The final Inisfree rp is showing me last little overlooks such as duplicate pics n albums

Is that faint voice i keep hearing… really ambi?
It keeps telling me to wait for winter to end; that the cold and snow are her ensuring i get my work/spell done…while she finishes / so she can finish thawing out, emotionally.

Liesurely morning deuces r so nice

Irlj mon24apr2023
Getting to return to the warren miller lodge after the end of the ski season for the 2nd time… was not bittersweet or lonely this time; it was peaceful, monastery-like, refreshing, inspiring, a repeat reward/award, perfect for exploring, perfect for photos without fugtards, and reminded me of the landscaping drives and the pink foxtail grass.

Even if there Were robots/clones/whatever in 364, i would still focus on manifesting it becoming my home, them leaving to make room for me. Having seen how looped “ppl” n multiple states have been, i know i can ignore and overcome/overpower them all.

Now it makes sense why i never ended up launching a biz/startup; it would have been pointless to make anything for these fake beings.

That valedictorian speech about focusing on relationships was such mindless bs regurgitated; i tried for decades to focus on relationships, and met onky fucked up losers / poorly-programmed bots.
Onky focus on relationships when they focus on You.
Not when they focus on trying to make you be someone else.
Not when they focus on parroting lies.
Not when they focus on fake religions.
Etc.
Focus on You, and only let Healthy relationships start and be an aDditional focus.

Before, when ambi didnt show (2018 ish), i was sad and mad, and knew i had to leave, and was right to; it avoided the covidiot robots ruining this sacred valley for me.
Now, i know to stay, as they r just dying out / fading away at this point.
And interesting how i knew to enter and then leave the Corps, vs now the opposite; left and then returned to this place.

wk8day1tue, ~5:30pm:
deja vu / memory-refresh / loop / repeat:
Amy texting, asking what 2 receipts were for.
amazing how much is repeating/looped.

no deja vu on having 12/+ cereal boxes on the countertop here, and in rainbow order
…
and no deja vu on completing the Welcoming Ceremony by having the Tri-Mechs echo the announcer-ICV’s narration of the parade and airshow 😀

The first time i came here… it was so emotionally painful. Heartwrenching. (Such as seeing the almosts at the gym and bbq)
This 2nd time is very different; much better, and easier, I having seen I needed the extra time to wrap up my design phase, and having been shown the ppl r just mindless looped nobodies i can disregard and abandon as much as needed.
This time, it feels like i am coasting down after getting it all done.
This time, every day feels on track, all ideas and tasks completed n perfect time.

1st time having a 520$ overdraft advance lol
Whatever. Paid again in 18hrs.

In that dream, i had also tried to go to sleep in a low, black interior, suv…but after closing its back door…i realized there were too many ppl n it, using all its seats, so i told them i would get out and sleep in another car.
We were in a parking lot, and evening/dusk was in progress.

revs3
This (my pre-and-post-Shift color-coded image) shows how, before The Shift to me being in charge, sequences of fluctuation climaxed in new ideas that could only occur and manifest at the end of each sequence.
Vs
After The Shift, all ideas for all sequences occurred to me and got spellcrafted/published/broadcast at once, the first sequence of fluctuation being only the times it took me to rest and write each part of all I had seen/thought/realized.

Deja vu. Loop. Memory refresh. Wk8day1tue. 25apr2023.
Again overheard st telling h in the office loft, after chatting about how 1 rich client buys new 100k cars for his son, daughter in law if she wrecks one, etc., then “it’s called the lucky-sperm club, h, and you aren’t in it.”
Lol

H what m warned me about; tried to get me to do a bunch of tasks fri after already overloaded w 10 houses. He even asked me to shovel a path… after angrily snapping at me when i offered to… and then after i told him i had, he drove there friday and told me it was snowed in, instd of just shoveling the few inches of snow that fell that day.

Pre-staged fire this morning.
Wed26apr2023; more steps ahead (in advance, become posb)

Wk8day2wed
Another day of hearing the robot person parrot/regurgitate the pharma cartel lies about china being to blame for the nonvegan sickness he causes to himself.
Glad he cut himself. Loser.
Couldnt even figure out that the bandaid being too tight was causing his thumb to throb. Thought it was bacteria. Lmfao.
Every day, more of their dumbass leaks. Can’t wait to quit. Again.
…
And memory refresh; him holding phone while fat voice talks about a heater for a few minutes.

Spanish Peaks; the only good thing called Spanish so far

What wonderful news that i get to start solo at bless…then again chill for half hr at wein.
Soooo glad the robot dipshits are less and less around.
Most pay so far…to chill where i love chilling…
It is a loop/repeat, but i guess that is a phase2 thing…
and it sure isnt very bad of one; tolerable.
…
How convenient and neat that they keep getting called away from me. Thank fucking god.
Why can’t the $ now work out that ideally; doing what i want it to.

I would Say i never need this shit gig again, same as all the others, but i had to repeat 2 in IN, and this 1 here, due to the 2022-2023 loop bs / latest failure of god/mankind. Lol.
Still gonna walk, though. So sick of this satanic underpay and disrespect from mindless robot losers.

Wk8day2wed m told same story of kids hide seek lodge then daughter pond naked, just changed it, saying it was during covid…which was 2020…2 yrs after he told me the story in 2018.
Lol
Shitty program.
So easy to spot the lies.

Wk8day2wed, 3pm, same talk n lodge w m about how not trapped; others r looking for workers here.
What a loop…8weeks here…plus a year of indiana repeated. Going on 2 yrs of repeated events and convos. Wild…

Wk8day2wed repeat. M gave headsup about upcoming review, then repeat of getting text from amb requesting morning review on wk8day3thu.
Lol.
Was stressed and angry and repressed last time. This time? I have already figured out none r real ppl, and their story loops/ed.
And i can ask the Qs to see if they r aware of the loop… Lol

40 fuckin years, and they still haven’t figured out that being gross and weird and rude and wrong and dishonest and the opposite of what I asked…
is Not going to get me interested in spawning with any of them.
If they wanted me to not be online, being gross online was not the way to go; that just showed me more and more “ppl” are fucked up, thus the online filter is more and more needed.
If they wanted me to interact in person, getting angry every time I tried was Not the way to go about it.
If they wanted me to work hard on my life’s work or theirs, emotionally abusing and fatiguing me this whole time was Not the way to do it.
so…
and they Clearly aren’t intelligent enough to have planned this; they clearly assume/think the wrong thing in Every exchange/situation.
so it isn’t true spiritual warfare; they’re just idiots.

I wonder if I ended up w these ppl both the first and this 2nd time…
bc I lied, saying I wanted the job, but was really not into it;
and they lied, not really into it either.
Is this reciprocation?
What’s with the covidiot bs, then?; that’s not reciprocation AT ALL.
still so many questions about why humans are so dumb…
but…
maybe it really is just to keep me from staying in shit jobs…
Why not just be nice to me so I interact with the good ones, then?
so strange…

holy shit -literally; the snow thawed, and st and amb went full-cunt mode just like in 2018.
total repeat of bs meeting.
and the thawed ranch field revealed it is COVERED in piles of shit.
…smh.
time to bounce again.
whatever.

“I had some stuff up the mntn at the end of the day but didn’t get to it.” Smh that i have to come up w truths like this in case the robo humans get moody again :/

In the beginning, I thought I could reason w the humanimals, but they were too dumb.
Then I thought I could lead by example and network and keep being myself, bit again they were too dumb to get it.
Now that I have seen they not only stay dumb, but loop, putting me through the same evil again and again, no matrer How honorable I am, I just counterfuck w them…and it worked in Iraq, and helps pass the time.

2 of 3 parts. I am here. House is here and vacant. Wife…not yet. Fk.
Again.
Why did i come twice…when she didnt meet me b4?
I am just determined to live my dream.
…
Last time when she wasnt here, i left, and it was just as bad everywhere else; might as well stay this time, since no one out there budged an inch.
The whole pt of going…was to find good ppl who would help, but i didnt; i found only idiots and abusers…

Wk8day1tue thank fucking god i am ofp. I would have quit if n vehic w h.

Setting my pace, being alone (away from the retard robots), being outside, and shoveling…is not a need; i am getting my wants now

Wk8day2wed after barn tom soup…sitting on chair of lodge… Dejavu… Did i do this n orange fleece n 2018?

Calla typist being gross by saying has wife…and maybe plug tail someday… Ugh.
I hope it is a bi girl, not a tard dude…
Either way, definitely the straw that broke the came’s back; i wanted a normal girl penpal, not another weirdo.
Eve rp is as dead as oasiz.
Whatever; always replaced w better.
And next step/person always helps me spot and perfect one more thing of inisfree.
…
Interesting how it chose to be gross and quitter…right as winter ended and i can enjoy trails again.
Definitely needed to anyway.
What a perfect motivation; no more friends online.

The ppl had to suck or you would never have isolated enough to get all that thought up and done.
But it IS done now…
so I wait and hope for my ppl.
I prefer ambi, but i’ll accept and adore hangouts w Any of my loves i wrote webpages to heal/honor.

I was desperate when she and the others showed themselves; i dont need to not be desperate.
I was angry.
I was sad.
I was poor.
I was ugly.
They still came, perfect physically, interested, peacocking for me.

Thank god for that cat; so nice, really takes the sting/edge off of being bk here.
Keeps waiting for me when i need it.
So perceptive and polite and reliable.
If only the humans and others behaved as well.
Someday…

Last wood stove fire complete

Maybe the almost ambis keep me out of the shitty/unhealthy places i would resort to…It works.

No more pt n eating out, since none vegan, none good, none fairly priced, and no hotties r ever there.

Loop break. The first time i had wk8day1tue, doing the blk truck air pressure fix at gas station, i was sad and my hands were freezing.
And
The first time i had wk8day3thu, getting brkfst garbage at 191, i asked about skijouring and felt sad. This time, just fake interested, making smalltalk, numb, completely disgusted w those i used to want.

Getting to vent and workout in a gym like i wanted…was what i needed

Did going to all those places make it more difficult to manifest ppl, not just places? Would staying here make it easier to manifest money and ppl? It should have worked out either way, but the bs/failure of the manifestations did get my work improved dramatically and wrapped up sooner.

Amber said Harris never flooded like that before… but it did.

Since they have not been honest with me, I cannot trust them, and trust is everything to me.

Wk8day3thu repeat of rude liar meeting moody, repeat of hew upset at house when i didnt carry lightbulbs the way he wanted, and when i was about to put some in the ckoset in addition to the pantry, and when i was avout to follow him, not knowing he was leaving. And repeat of asked to shovel porch …and him saying last leg and not gonna get btr.

Wk8day3thu m taylor gym repeat, then repeat of being told writing his letter to ex about what he proved she did…would be pointless and only hurt Him; spying.

My milestone is reached. It only makes sense to bounce again and again have no strings/ties; easier to launch dlforward without distractions.
Whatever.
How it has always been n phase2.
At least it isnt phase1; no bouncing/escaping posb.

Just like before, I gave it my all, and another covidiot bitch lied about me, throwing me under the proverbial bus.
At least this time it was interesting; I got to observe a 2-month loop of every event and conversation…
but what’s the point?
Why am I getting to see this?
It’s good that I’m being forced to find a better place to stay than this depressing barn…
but still; there should be a better way; there should be GOOD ppl and GOOD steps and GOOD transitions.
This is supposed to be phase fucking 3 already!

I wonder if the vax reset some of their memories…so they stay places longer.

Even though i came here more for me this 3rd time, the onky reason i was gonna stay was to start my fam w her…and she isnt here…and the humanimls are just as retarded as last time…so…leave? Again?
And where?
And how?

Why wasnt standing up for myself rewarded?
I deserve better than this.
Always have.
I should never have been misinterpreted.
I shouldnt have to explain good behavior, especially to scum who lured me out here into another covidiot cesspool.

I usually jack/cum/want to fuck 3/+ x/day. When that drops to zero, the humans are esPecially evil; it takes a Lot to lower My love/drive/health, especially That much.

Even “you are the first person theyve trained/reviewed”…is not true; they trained/reviewed me in 2018, so i am also the 2nd lol.

No point sending a letter to a murder robot shittalker moody nobody like st.
Better to bounce w no notice like b4.
The letter is just for me; to show how much i rmbr, and how little they understand, and how well i have done.
And even of i Had done the things they pretended, they deserve it for underpaying and luring me, and for not telling me of how they abise amd lose their other workers, and for their pharma lies, and disrespect, amd ugliness, and loop, etc.

I didnt love the wrong woman; i was true to what my nature is, i valiantly pursued my wise goals, and she just hasnt done her part yet.

M is as wrong about “having a completely dif experience in other towns” as he is about the pharma lie; i already lived n those other towns, and they were the same as here; extortion rent, overpriced food, ppl didnt value me, underpaid, skills not hired, hotties defective, shit living conditions, prayers ignored, etc etc, so no point moving back to any of them.

Why doesnt anyone value me?
Why dint they work for me like i work for them?
Why dont the ones i express interest to reciprocate?
I’m Done w this bullshit society!
And prayers never answered?
And health not restoring?
Why?!

Yet again, I did all in my power, and crossed a continent, and called out, and was consistent, and prayed, and endured, and got new work and lodging, and she Still didnt honor me.
I am faced w the shitty fact that she is not the one…
No one here has been good to me.
No one here has been smart.
Havent even seen any hotties.
My house was dark and locked up, no Ariel or others letting me in.
No food here is healthy.
Groceries are back in goddamn boze.
No reason to stay.
No way to stay.

I didnt come here for a dozen loser creeps.
I came here for ambi, and she didnt, so i have to go; i cannot allow these looped morons and liars to ruin this valley.

I can say i still have this gig…to get an aptmt…and then quit.

There are vegan places and groceries and babes up there. I bet any babes here…commute from there. And since ambi chose to betray me once again, in spite of my best efforts again, might as well go use some of them.
Was gonna play w others anyway.

I hate these “laps”/returns/relocations, but without money/miracle/dreamwife, all i can do is keep trying, keep rejecting evil, keep lapping.
I did my best.
I wanted 1 good, and was given 12 bad, so it is only right to leave again.

That tx dfw mega pastor was so wrong, just like doc2; “u do your part, then god does his”; it was always me working hard…and god never rewarding that.
If god ever finally did do his part, starting now, it would be 40 years of god doing all the work and volunteering and donating…while i just sat back and let him.
And god is a phase1 bs thing; it should be Plural, and Goddesses now, and Mine. My system.

The opposite of the Celestine was the case; all the signs were that No one was ready, and Nowhere was good / right for me.
Except movement. Movement Always helped/recovered me.
And Iii was the one I needed.
No god was. No god was good/worthy enough.
The signs were within Me, not others; they were my instincts.
The wisdom was in Me, not others; all my correct/better ideas and better behavior/manners.
Ambi showed when i was on the move, not yet when i was parked/renting…
So did sabrina, rain, graciella2, ariel, etc.
That means i Don’t have to be established first…

Waking at 2am…or 3…gave me time for these wise ideas/revelations and notes and calendar adds…

They lied so they got it right back;
they soent the whole meeting arguing w me and ignoring my responses,
then asked for feedback,
at which point I had learned they were too dumb and primitive and evil to even ‘hear’ any feedback,
so I just made up “havent been w the company long enough to give feedback” …and bc i just wanted that bullshit abuse meeting to end.
I did the right thing by realizing talking and truth would do no good.

It took a year or two to get in the Corps.
It was 10 years between writing The Wolves…and making it to mt.
It was 10 or so yrs of RPing about ambi b4 she showed up for sure; 2010 to 2020, but only 6 if I count her pathetic walkby n 2016 White Owl.
Sabrina took less time.
Rain took more.
…If only they were more reliable and timely.
This random and unannounced shit…and them not making any effort to speak to me…has got to go.
…
How long does it take for 364 fam to manifest???????
I wrote it in 2018…so 5 yrs so far.

No good work, no good lodging, no wife, and can’t afford to ski; no reason to stay here yet. Ugh.
And cunt waitresses.
And covidiots.
And insane groc prices.
…
And I already have seen repo niggers can’t get to me even when in a registered aptmt…

Going solo places…keeps showing only bad ppl…
but it is still right for me to go; staying causes buildups of the same bad ppl, and going always improves how i feel,
and it is phase2 (btr than when i could not go at all).
I would Like invitations to where i want to go; hotties paying for 364 etc, but i learned not to wait.

My bday present to myself this year is leaving this scam gig and preventing that liar from getting a cake i don’t want from it.
…
And no longer wanting the bitches, such as ambi, who keep leaving me to fend for myself, not giving me the same respect or transparency or love or effort i kept giving.

M saying i should meet his kids? Wtf?
Gross.
Prob robo kids anyway…and vaxd.

Temp’s in boze are pleasant now, so i can camp… Time to go bk to hyalite a bit. Why not? Here sucks atm.

Being encouraged to change based on that celestine book…was a sign itself; that it and the “guide” were evil bc anti-me.
If theyd been good, they would have seen Me as the sign, and done what iii told Them to do.
And wouldnt have Needed to be told in the First place.

M saying the pickup girl n front of us is smomin hot…and then saying the hideous beasts in taylor pic are hot…shows me he has no idea what hot is, and lies just as extremely and blatantly as he did about the pharma scam.
So i wasnt mossing out when he did not follow the pickup to show me like i asked. Lame in so many ways, but spared me another usmc-level pretend-hot pic/wife-lie.

Apparently phase1 was awful landscaping job there, unable to drive myself,
and phase2 was going there n my own vehicle once alone and once w elitard, theb going to see the repeat of the fake prop mgr gig; doubles.
So phase3 is when i get to go home there every day?

Even tho they were evil, i still got them to pay me to orient for nearly 3 months.

Even tho i have to resort to boze again, it still makes sense as part of the flux; ups and downs, but closer and closer to my goal every time; had to leave boze b4, but that was technically written as what i was to do after developing the main program/computer, and being back a decade later…was sorta written as me returning to this area daily…
Much btr and closer than indiana was.
I can park there a little while.

40 years of doing my best…and still being hated and misunderstood and having to beg ppl to value me just barely enough to cover food…has not been good or right.
…

Forcing me through desperation to talk to more uncaring morons…has been so wrong of god/humankind.
They should have been willing to talk when i was, ans appreciative of my compliments and great work ethic.
But, in time, perhaps soon, all others will be forced through desperation to talk to and repay Me.
Amen.

It keeps occurring/vibing to me that now i have burnt out and let go…of the pc stuff and all…it can finally be “god’s turn to do his/its part/equal”

Every job offer i took/trusted,
and every hottie who disrespected me,
were all proof that the celestine was a lie.

She spied on me, then didnt show, so it seems she judged me for stressing me out…when she shoukd have felt bad for letting me deal w so much, she basically the cause of that stress and cussing

If i had remembered how bad things had gotten here in 2018, or known it was going to be fully repeated, i wouldnt have bought the spaceships,
but apparently me having them was focused on long enough or destined.
Same w the 2nd bkup drive; if i had known i would need the money for new lodging, or that my website wasn’t as big as i thought, i wouldnt have gotten it.
But it is a phase3 sign; triplicates, special knowledge of the NPCs, etc., so it’s fine.

I hate them…
but the covidiot parrot robot NPCs are paying my way, showing me their weaknesses, letting me use them, etc.,
and it is good to know the enemies that need “relocating” once my reign comes.

Sure is best here when no one is around.
Unlike usmc trng, i cam bTwn the hard times. So maybe i Am lucky.
I am.
More informed and intelligent and welltimed/prudent and cultured and inventive than all i have met so far.

More dumbass sub/beta pussy shit from brainwashed m, claiming issues w kids/wife is god. No, it is u not focused, and a bitch not sharing the vision like a loyal woman would

Make them pay while i call aptmts…starting w one here, then boze
…
And the beta somehow offered to facilitate that without me even asking.
Interesting…
So why doesnt he Also submit to me wanting him to not be a covidiot?
Because he submits to everyone. Dangerous.

Wk8day4fri deja vu / repeat. M 15min later than 9 bc sex, went to get blk truck at his girl place up hill, met Johnny ex coworker now weed store owner white gray long hair, met gf danielle firm handshake ear rings loops getting in white suv, text from st to get snowblowers at a few addresses if need hrs. M said he told them he is looking for other work. Dropping regus pprwrk at school, airborne blue car bumper metal of old pooltable guys, showing me his former business hottubs garage by shed

Loopbreak, did not thank paratropper old man this time.
No point being nice to a looped npc.

Stopping by the elem sch… : ( another kick in the emotion-balls; reminding me how ambi hod for years, refused to introduce herself, ignored my pleas/maydays…and we don’t have the kids i wanted in 2018…or was that just the planning

Trusting us w their homes…and trusting us w their checkbooks” condescending dumbass prick piece of shit

Even if it is a setup, and all of them are pretending to be at odds while comparing notes about my behavior, they r still liars, still rude, still evil faggot promoters, etc

I rmbr now how on wk8day1tue, fixing air pressure in blk trk, my hands were freezing…and i was so sad she had betrayed me again.

Wk8day4fri repeat of going to golf course, meeting guy, told to walk path to maintenance bldg, snow deep, but this time not choked up and forcing myself, and boots instd of shoes

Wk8day4fri…almost ambi in black top and shorts…jogging along office rd from baseball area…toward golf course rd i was exiting…but is it a repeat? Is it a sign she is getting perfect for me? I can wish and hope and dream.

Got vision of ambi surprise standing in day snow facing me grinning here…and i hurried to hug her, and wept and my voice cracked, asking her if we could be a family now, and then vision of us on the altar outside her pyramid nearby, me saying my vows and lowering my head a moment as i paused, trying not to voice crack, and then finishing my vows, and we kissed so much, and both wept, our guests cheering loudly. I wept silently, wiping my eyes so m did not notice. I thought, ‘Ambi! Don’t send visions like that unless you are here and staying with me! Do you inow how much that means to me? They are Everything to me!”

Maybe they wiped their memories or cloned them so i could reuse them after ditching the last time they chose to speak evils.

Irony: m calling others crazy, and worrying they might do inapprop things n front of kids…while/yet he thinks covid is real

Mkm it’s a bad day when your barbarian friend returns from the bathroom and says “I think something is wrong with your bathtub; I couldn’t get it to flush.”

No, covidiot, i am Not “romanticizing” anything; if u were intelligent, and not a standard mindless lowlevel demon shithead, you would acknowledge the obvious fact i am holding an/the appropriate vision, not manifesting chaos by being lazy and pretending a god and chaos are superior.

No, xiantard covidiot doublewhammie-brainwashed npc turd, god is not listening; it is only me, and if there was a god and he was good…he wouldnt have looped me back through Your retarded annoying bloodpressure-raising ass.

Yet another dumbass covid lie regurgitation from the parrot, but at least i got paid a hundred or so to do fuck all today. Phase fucking 2

Loopbreak. Last time, i rejected the golf and engineering job ideas. This tine, i know i have to stay or it would be like losing Two ambis; mt means that much to me.
Plus, the mech room knowledge refresher helped, and engineering will def help w valhalla2 etc.

as usual, m is wrong/beta/backward; it does NOT have to “be organic”; that is assuming we must submit to things/others/anything; anything I DO is organic for ME, and “forcing it” is NOT always bad, at least when Iii decree/focus on something.
…
he is also, however, the only reason i managed to stay calm and not quit this long.

mixed reaction/feelings/thoughts now; the almost-ambi I saw jogging today, wk8day4fri 28april2023 at ~noon… past the office… as I left the golf-course street.
why?
because it was NOT her; it was ALMOST her.
and because it later seemed to me that it was the system/universe/world bringing her back, calibrating somehow, or her using a spell/projection/hologram/vision to see if I’d still divert course and take a closer look, which I immediately did.
so maybe it was bad And good, in that way / those ways.

Anyone who exists wothout my permission is a home intruder.
Everywhere is my property now.
All who have done anything I don’t like have stepped over the threshhold of my home and private property without my permission/invitation.
Everyone else is guilty of not enforcing the only legitimate law and religion; mine.
They and the intruders shall all be wiped out.
If only they were not NPCs; if they had souls, I could enjoy purging/deleting those, too.

Deja vu / memory refresh / repeat / loop: dropping stuff at thrift store on wk8day5sat… just like last time, though that time, I was preparing to drive north and then somewhere else, whereas now I am just dropping stuff before moving somewhere here.

Irony: some said to let god take the wheel…but did not let me
I am god.

Wk8day5sat repeat of going to The Arrow and finding it full : /
but what a neat place; amazon dropboxes, glass art doors office cibicles studyrooms, gym, ski snowboard bicycle repair, tanning, sauna, steam room, urinal tvs.

Wk8day5sat repeat of st waiving n pink shirt from white suburban as i left to go to Arrow
Loopbreak. Did not try the pretzel and pickle etc at Jump

Scouting more vegan in boze

Seeing looped ambi like ballcap girl and tan midriff white strappy top gf looking at me n parking lot and again from chair by ambi ish girl w tan arms olive drab tshirt tall guy

Found 3 missed company names on Fine Print and Subsidiaries

Added tats pg

Freshies used to be called something else
…
Wonnnnderful vegan breakfast there. One of the best meals of my life

Freshies tofu teriyaki recipe to lhs culin y auzdeins y brkfst rm icgm

Mac of dave was Macguyver nickname for jared phillips.
2nd mac was bshm…and he looped, so met him twice lol

2 computer mice now; black for biz, pink for pleasure

Canned rain, black raspberry choc chip ice cream, and mini spinach puffs…all refreshed my memory; repeat/loop.
…
Loopbreak: didnt leave barn this time; returned…
But will i have to leave again next week like b4?

Btr to work longer, then force them to recruit and train during summer rush lol. They fucked me, and now that is their bad karma sentencing.

having left last time, and found only immature extortion all along the way,
I know it sucks less to stay and endure more rudeness from the mindless pharma parrot robot ugly bitch / bagface and her retard boss.

Major loopbreak; instd of leaving in anger this time, I stayed and worked on a better back tattoo revision

On Sat, Apr 29, 2023 at 9:19 PM Austin Bunton <austinbunton@gmail.com> wrote:
Major loopbreak; instd of leaving in anger this time, I stayed and worked on a better back tattoo revision

So glad retard m has a fug bitch; definitely doesnt deserve a good one after all the lies he parroted

First picnic in yellowstone
Half open park…so phase2 :/

This isnt a 2nd chance for me to interact w these idiots. It is showing me they havent learned a thing, and that i was right to abandon attempts at normal interaction w them.
And even if there hadnt been the loop, there was the decades of lies, abuse, murder, rape, relig persecution, demonization, illegal fines, hideous selfdeformities, insane bs on tv and radio, maddogging, bait attempts, attempted assassinations, and on and on.
Even their hottest were severely deranged, completely no fun to be with.
Even b4 the loop, they deserved only disregard and annihilation.

Wk8day6sun memory refresh / loop: preteen medium tan natural blush sandy brunette daughter in bright medium/dark pink jacket being walked by her father n black and shades behind her, his hands making her torso turn side to side, as if teaching her to show off her tits in motion to me, just like the last time i started the prismatic spring boardwalk, all of us on the river bridge. But she had resting bitch face, and did not show me all of her, and was surrounded by fugmonsters. Disgusting. F. – Then likely same overly tall girl and waddle monster deformed giant ass pear shaped old woman near the top curve. – they ended up coming bk to me; in old faithf vis ctr after i did the displays room. Then 3rd time; after giftshop, still standing there, but meh face and weird look at me as i just exited politely. Fucking creeps. Failed species. Poorly programmed NPCs. Her height and skin were perfect, but that was all.

“Want what is n front of u” is so hypocritical and evil and vile; THEY didnt want Me when iii was n front of Them. They only wanted submission and control and to treat me badly.

I no longer feel bad about the yucca hunt or anything; they were all prob npc bots

I rmbr going to norris geyser and seeing its white staircase outside and no eruption, so i loopbreak by skipping it now

The bison on the road here remind me how the fat amerifails n the way…slow me…and there is little i can do…but it gives me time to remember and think of much, then make these notes.

Yellowstone bridge.
The dad annoying his daughter…reminds me to kill anyone like that…and liberate their duaghters. I saw the rage and helplessness n her eyes. I recognize it. It is my own. Still, unacceptable loop, unacceptable facial expression, unacceptable everything except her height and natural tan.

The loop suggests if i drove bk to that az motel, she would be there…but then she would be loopes…and masktarding again, thus not real

So glad the buff jump stripclub is gone; so gross and evil it was to me

note what happened in Alaska;
you said near your phone that you want a pretty, engaging, polite, etc. girl; a normal girl…
and nearly 100% were hideous,
and the only hot one did not show you her body,
and did not engage with you,
and was not polite,
and was VERY proud to strut be, VERY proud and happy to do/be the OPPOSITE of what you asked for.
burn that place down with the rest.
syria/turkey-‘quake it.
amen.

how i keep raging at the retards, but they keep me getting my site wrapped up, thus out of the way whenever the sane hotties show/return/stay.
how i raged at the tractor noise when i got back from the latest rd of trying to find some enjoyment in the yellowstone, but it got my tattoos pg wrapped up, and more.

the preteen tan hottie in pink at yellowstone… was a repeat, thus 2nd encounter, thus our 3rd is coming, thus I will get to enjoy her then –age-locked like the other hotties I’ve seen. good.

Sunday 30 April 2023 – ~1-3pm – deja vu / memory refresh / repeat / loop:
st son dirt bike
tractor-ing the field
friends arrive in dark pickup
start cleaning boat seats on tailgate
kids and wives chatting outside bedrm window

wk9day0mon -1may2023- deja vu / repeat / loop of:
2nd time to golf course maintenance building, seeing short fat and gnome/dwarf-whitebeard guys there, told they already had all their employees hired,
and
2nd time to the langlas apartments, meeting the old short brown guy in nice dress shirt who told me where the empty office in the one building was

–
First picnic in yellowstone
Half open park…so phase2 :/

Lol st pretended / was programmed to buy a little speedboat again, just like last time

I thought maybe moving bk to boze would help since the only healthy groc store is there, but it has far more fugs, traffic, steeper rent, etc., and no vacancies, and so much bad history, and not btr views… : (
…
I feel delayed/stuck again : (
At least the views here r btr…
and the retards are far fewer…

I fucking hate these moron robots…and ambi and the others rn for leaving me not knowing if my loves will return…but nothing could have wrapped up my spell/work sooner or better…so do i really hate the hotties?

The hotties really shot themselves in the foot, as the saying goes; why make it painfully obvious they hate my good aspects, refuse to behave, always frustrate and betray me, have a corrupt system, are unreliable, and hide deformities under their clothes i didnt permit them to wear n the first place?
And their whole species always being rude and evil and murderous and harassing and as out of line as can be? And always going berserk over any truth or kindness or nature? And always whining for me to eat and do and regurgitate/parrot evil?
Nothing guaranteed me removing the last chance and hope and amnesty they had like all of that craziness.

Why do i still worry/weep…when i always get to places…and always survive…and wrapped up my decades of spells…and was shown the loop/NPCs…and shown ambi and sabrina and rain and kara and laynia and so many others?
This will work out. It was just another step to keep me sane and wrapping up; no distractions, good (hotties) or bad (indiana).

I post tons of brilliant healthiest stuff for years and years, and usually get zero likes or responses, and then post some photoshopped bears hiking…and get dozens. Smh.
Humans are pathetic.

Now that i have seen so many r looped…incl hot ones…the q is…do i want to be w the ugly or the hot looped?
Obv the hot.
Even though they r frustrating sometimes, the uglies r frustrating And ugly.
Resume chatting.
It sucks, but the ppl of this world apparently just are too primitive to behave normally without verbal input.

Vehic cleaned and oiled, life’s work wrapped up, biggest tat printed in 2 forms (bnw y color), job leads calling and emailing, didnt let the loser robots/parrots get me to leave too soon like last time, never gave the security deposit, spellcrafted/summoned/answered the call of the next hottie (Lathavi), decent next step here taking shape.

With all the amazing and perfect work I got done…it is difficult to feel sad anymore about the bitches being retarded/useless so far. Angry, yes; that is holy blood instinct wisdom. But not sad. Been sad so long anywah, it is more numb than anything

Magic? Voodoo?
Purgatory?
Vax resetting some memories/ppl?
God urging me to meet new ones?
Prank?
Truman Show?
Goddess moody with me?
Not really sure, but logically cannot rule those out, as so much was obviously lied about, likely including the potential of all of Those.
…
All I know is I am healthy, I am here, I have wrapped up my work (which was not the case half a decade earlier when I first tried meeting the one here and back in Indiana), and I am witnessing a curious thing.
…and I certainly back in 2018 did not text all the ppl I did this 1may2023 about the loop, so it is not a loop; just a couple dozen ppl who seem to be looped or holograms or whatever is the case.
Maybe it is the blessing of a new mystery or reveal… since so many ppl were boring and mean over the years; god/life finally found a way to make my life an adventure again…even after I had concluded that interacting w ppl was pointless.

Did me calling ppl dumb NPCs or parrots…manifest them being more so?…just as my words seemed to’ve finally manifested/summomed ambi and the others?
Maybe.
But if my words manifested those things…then why not also manifest Inisfree and my ppl there?
Perhaps my words did not manifest things, and only some losers spied on them and chose to roleplay what I said I didn’t like. That seems a lot easier/likelier.

My watching a porn did not cause ppl to be looped and mindless like porn clips; many were new, not looped. Only a dozen or so have been looped. Ppl were dumb and mindless long b4 i realized i had to resort to porn. Plua i watched tons of other vids and clips, and i dont blame Those other short vids.

It doesnt matter how humanimals react to me being me.
My focus should have been enough.
Bait and switch should never have been done to me.
Changing b4 did not produce better results / behavior from ppl.
I like how i am, and my instincts have served me well, exposing badguys/systems and then keeping me away from them, my passions/hobbies uninterrupted further.

It is okay to hate ambi and the others; i endured a lot of abuse/bullying/poverty bc of them.
Embrace self; my own emotions/instincts/nature.
Can’t embrace those who stay in spoiled distractor moody mode, anyway; they never approached or let me.

A couple stress dreams / nightmares still work n my favor; they remind me to be guided away from lame/evil, and they can wake me at night when i have time and quiet to make these journal entries and reassess.

Lance suggesting a brain doc …is a horrible default-neg and redflag.

Can’t tell anyone who i tried working w here; they lied so much…even though i was honest from the start, so they would only lie more. I am being taught/forced to expect only lies, and to counter lie proactively to keep up.

Interesting that Monarch drvelopmt is here; a hint the queen of mine is here?

Irlj 1may2023
Thought returning to ousel would be a loopbreak, but deja vu from 3 teen girls at entry, 1 redhead, 2 blacm hair, 1 boobsy black tanktop. Then repeat of orange beard normal himer guy…w fug fat bitch after i returned from picnic stone stairs that i also remembered upon rewalking. Then repeat of call sign will littman

M is just programmed to pretend to quit when i do so i will feel a little btr… but it is phase2 so; nice enough, even though fake.

–
Ambi didn’t show up in MT until I was stressed and visiting rio.
She didn’t show up in OR until I was stressed and passing through.
She didn’t show up in AZ until I was stressed from having to return after MONTHS of mexisatan.
She didn’t show up in CA until I was stressed bc between elitard and marchesetard.
So the pattern suggests she will show up here in BS/YC after a few more months of stress recharging my surge/rage.
Going where there is less stress, or sure options/rentals, doesn’t seem to trigger her; she prefers to be needed…
…
Her typist wanted a Dark King, so I wonder if she’ll like that I now hate and use her…

It’s now a game in my mind of seeing how many times I can overcome my bloodboil at the mindless default-neg comments/insults of the subhuman NPCs.

on that ousel hike last time, this time i remember, i was stressing and thinking ‘alright, I gotta manifest a job or money on THIS HIKE’ b/c I had already quit, and given 1-wk notice on vacating.
this time, it was MUCH more relaxed, the only thing on my mind: getting my feet in the river 3x, which i did and loved.
I then remember stressing bc I knew I couldn’t afford the philip place… but this time it seems I just might.

I went back to MANY places before… but only saw the loop after the vax scam.
The loop started in 2021 when I returned to Indiana.
It has minor variations, such as me seeing it now, and M’ instead of me causing the dent on the office desk mini drawer after dropping the new-keys keychain-ring back there…

This morning I decided to make the remaining icv subpgs; another ex of right when i thought ‘what more can be touched up’ lol : )
Huuuuuge touchup/wrapup

this 2nd chance at the female-decorated apartment…
where the female isn’t there…
just gave me the idea it is another decompression/acclimation/alignment step;
seeing how I like being in a place completely designed/art-sied by a female.
…
It is also another of what I asked for; no lease, no roommate, etc.

–
Creepy that m spoke of firelight…but maybe that is just where most r.
…
Linda beautiful voice and name means beautiful
…
Right when i needed it, got my out.
…
Last time, i had only biscuots in white bowl n vehicle on way…
This time, had a full meal, and have plenty of groceries for the month, and didnt give last check, so in much btr position. Good sign.

Wk9day1tue memory and upgrade:
Last time this day, hew and i argued angrily on way

Got bitched at for stepping out of truck to check propane…then for going to check hottub. Wanted me to sit still until he got out
…
The bots always keep dialing up the unprovoked evil rudeness until i have to bounce…
…but it prevents me from trying to make garbage work.

Hewtard: “U ready to go?”
I politely looked over things, wondering why he had hypercunt eyes and evil vibe again, and asked if there was anything i was missing, and he ignored that and rude-tone asked that bizarre q again.
I said sure.
” Then u should Shut the Door” he even More-rudely and loudly said…
He assumed i had forgotten. I was waiting on him. He was the one near it.
Unreal…

Getting a flashback or worry memory of having to abandon the 1month rental…??? Did i not make it last time?
Is That when i left for helena?

Why aren’t any transitions pleasant?
Why arent ppl good?
: (
At least i can keep leaving them and surviving, unlike n phase1.

Refresh of hazel crossfit garage and nice wraparound porch view, same as last time

Wk9day1tue
New rental
I rmbr 1st time i went there, i was so depressed…as it was an aptmt, odd colors, odd hall smell…but this 2nd time…it moves me closer to yc entry, and away frm the robot liars, so i see it as very good.
A relief needed.
Another big step in the direction i want to go.

Wk9day1tue… Any events/convos repeated? Yes; 1st stop of the morning: shitty brown apartment w industrial railing and gray beams near bigsky hotel. Pully system swing arm on porch balcony. Was depressed here last time. This time, blackops mode; playing the already-exposed fake-ppl.

2015 i left mt
2016 w gc
2017 was dartmouth?
2018 was jeep trade, then ak bk to mt
2019 was helena lowe’s and nursery
2020 was mexi
2021 was socal
2022 was indiana
2023 was bk to bs/yc
So the only year it could have been, me first trying to live here, was 2018, right before i traded jeep in utah…

I thought i’d b n a room in the multistory newer townhomes downtown, but ended up a mile or so closer to yc gate : )
A sign?
Idk, but nice.

One good ch/command, one bad one, back and forth…kind of; it was really 1 barely tolerable wanna-authority…then 1 slightly more tolerable but stilp retarded one.
Then it became 1 shit job w retards…followed by time off.
Then it became slight govt compensation for their pharma cartel assassination attempt of me…followed by slight increases every few years.
The “good command” was always the intervals when i had had enough and chosen wise me-time.
I was always the only good command.

Memory refresh. Was setting my things n this room at night…bc maybe worked whole shift in 2018…and was so sad bc felt wrong without my dreamgirl…but this time it is day and i am thrilled i made it…
Why the hell would i leave this gorgeous rental w the girl w the sexy voice???
It is like living in Inara’s shuttle!

this place is so much more perfect than the foothold barn.
better views, too!
surprised…
still can’t believe how sad I felt the 1st time… and how glad and thrilled and confident I am now.
definitely also is the perfect step toward easing into having friends and housemates, which I’ll have DOZENS of if my dream-girl, real-Ambi, returns.
can’t wait 🙂
I’m gonna sleep so well tonight…
$ in the bank…
things working out so well
even the wash and then drier getting done the instant I wrapped up pc stuff 2x since moving in today.
perfect dinner.
perfect everything… except 1 thing; my love/s; just need them here, and I’ll be all set.
even if these are robo/npc/looped ppl… they sound so much nicer…
and I’ve already learned that there is no ‘shedding’, so I have nothing to worry about; I have remained healthy.
I bet this is acclimation/screening/confirming/final steps/checks by the Queen of Nod/Vamps… and now she sees how much calmer and happier and more hopeful I have become.

don’t be a retarded default-neg spaz like the hew/babitt/lfb demon.
don’t react to all things in life like that.
let them prove/reveal themselves before you decide what they are.
things keep working out for me, so trust them to continue to.

Unreal how rude and neg and uneducated and stupid that missoula turd was; “oh, you have no symptoms and are coherently describing an obvious instance of looped nonpeople? Better go see a brain doc since I can only think you are crazy for no reason.” So glad I used the loop discussing to expose and block that low level demon scumbag. “I highly recommend seeing a neurologist and getting a scan…for your feelings”…never talked about any feelings, dipshit.

Bshm better shits happen manually. Bitches shouldnt have managementpositions.

Bywom
Even order half wrong is phase2, working n my favor; got me back in for water and hangout i wanted…and almost ambi at bar

Wk9day2wed refresh repeat removing old wood railing from crain balcony. Loopbreak m said not worry this time; not doing it. Last time, h called twice while i was eating sheep dip bywom n my vehicle. I saw screen and ignored both. This time, i had already eaten the sheep dip inside, and left phone n new vehic.

Wed3may
Ariel history game room over garage, couch straddle grind eyelock grin blush cum tgthr then hug and hair scratch as she whispers “I love you.”

2000 dn to 1300/mo!!!

–
note the 5 games I made folders for;
Create-i-verse
Eve/New Eden
Mine-craft
Path of Lust (natural full powerful love; holistic energy; whole-bodied interest)
Wild Life;
all names that mean a natural, good, love-based, creating-based existence/godhood.
That is not a coincidence.
It is a sign.
Signs are what I say anyway.

 

–

May:

ss:  Taja and I snuggle up on couch together w our favorite snacks and watch Sweet Tooth episodes. Adeline joins.

Wk9day2wed repeat of blk nice suv pulling up w bright headlights at me in living room, then rude moron hottub outside w music, but this time…it didnt hurt that the nice lights werent ambi coming to meet me, and for a moment…i actually liked hearing the sounds of someone else nearby.

The first time i heard the hottub guy music, it took me like half an hour to figure it out lol, and i was angry when i looked his way.

Was half an hr frm next gig. Now 10 mins
Was 40mins frm dreamhome. Now 20.

Rent was 90ish% covered.
Now rent, phone, and insurance are 100% covered.
And i didnt even have to ask for longer-term; she said it on her own on day/call2.
Technically, i am being paid more and more to go places and have things; that’s the start of phase3.
The ppl still havent been more than phase2 for some reason, but most other things have started beconing/being phase3; i have found so much perfection in all other areas.

Dreamed i tried some vegan thing w king oyster mushrooms and loved it : )

Smooth slow close trashcans n all hoods residences y famcab

I am not on mountain time. No sign applies to me. No human or anything has the right to make rules for me. The mountain and everyone here is in Me-time.

Now i am th perfect distance and side to bike to the concerts and markets.

Wk9day3thu, deja vu / refresh going bicycling for 2nd time on this relocation, this time trail to ousel parking.
Stopped at sign to Papa’s Point. Gives me hope…

Same tan hottie w lips matching skin tone, ballcap, sunglasses, bicycling trail from town as i biked down.
Last time, i said howdy or something, and this time i waved…
but she is looped…and didnt initiate…and didnt go my way…and i must accept that sge made me feel bad, not good, like all her kind have…
I cannot feel attraction to rude freaks or looped NPCs.
…
Last time, i was n fleece and cap, and was too warm. This time, just shirt and hair out, so the improvement is me…not the “ppl”.
…
She is the first hottie i have seen since returning to this town…but i cannot confirm hotness…bc her behavior was wrong…and she was covered except the mouth area.

When i drove by, there were fugs on the trails…but when i got out tyere myself and bicycled, there was the flawless tan lips face hottie ballcap sunglasses heading straight for me…
But it doesnt matter, since she is looped.
Positive side is: I have now witnessed No opportunities are missed; all repeat.
And they aren’t really opportunities; they r NPCs.

That certainly takes the edge off; i used to worry i had missed out on one-time encounters. Not so, obviously now.

Loopbreak: no longer sad or angry responding. Just smirking and using.
Loopbreak: not watching Sweet Tooth or whatever show last time had masks enough to enrage/disgust me
Loopbreak: Sabrina tv show resumed.

There r no ugly witches.
Anyone ugly or rude to me isnt a witch.
Casting only deformed necrovores as witches is the ongoing jealous smear-campaign against witches

and now I remember why I didn’t take the Montage gig;
missed meetings
barfy interviewer
grooming question = anti-masculine
uniform
didn’t care about my skills or nature
etc
…but at least I don’t really need the $ this time :/
what will happen now?
all this practice and re-practice not finding what I need… and letting go… over and over…
:/

“want what you have / what’s in front of you”…
Well, since the ones I wanted aren’t here rn/yet/again,
I am here, so I can want Me,
and this priceless peace and quiet;
it is perfect to work on me; to exercise again, to add some more ICV webpgs…
I don’t need much money anymore.
I can get by with just a couple hundred bucks income…
and that should be easy to get…
so I can and will and shall stay now.

“soy boy”? that was a sideways jab at Me; because I am vegan / eat soybeans sometimes.
and how retarded; coming from a murderer and rapist; a nonvegan.
and a typical 1970s rhymes-based wannabe-insult template. gay.

I used to worry about work…but now dont care.
I used to want ambi and others…but now hate them for how they behaved, even when factoring in all the work made possible and wrapped up due to their silence.

Finally getting to see Morbius

Maybe this rental will lead to a job doing what i am great at…
Alignment…
Maybe i should let go and Not seek work.
When i stopped seeking ambi and the others, they showed up.
The opp of what i sought…came…
or, at least, it was on a delay for some reason

Seeing Night Teeth years ago originally gave me hope and arousal…
but now it just reminds me how rude and stupid and unhelpful ambi was…
and how disgusting her typist/middlebitch was.
Glad i dumped that typical garbage.
And proud i was able to endure it with positivity as long as i did.

I have 4 weeks…to find a money solution.
Ugh.
All I can do…since the ones I wanted didnt want me back yet…
and since the ones I wanted to team up w…didnt choose to team up w me yet…
is focus on me some more; my fitness, my website, etc.
I was meant to see the loop…
and that I was right to quit all those shitty ppl/jobs; they really were mindless looped NPCs after all…
I wonder what to do w that information/awareness now…
It was disheartening beFore; when i thought it was just some bad Ppl who Might see the light one day.
But now…I wrestle w what seems like pointlessness; since some ppl r looped and memoryless…who do I talk to?
How do I determine who Isn’t looped?
…
Every attempt at getting a job w sane ppl failed…so I must face the scary chapter of no longer seeking jobs…
…
Every day I will stay out and talk to ppl…bc there is nothing working online.

Going out at night did not result in ambi returning…
Going to the address did not result in her letting me in…
So…if she has abandoned her role…
is this place really worth staying in?
Something will have to give.

Those I liked the sight of…completely turned me off and repulsed me…
The cities I was proud to be heading to explore…all were filled w murder idiots and gross freaks.
With nowhere calling to me for now…and no one good calling to ask to team up w me…I feel the way Huskies might/’must’; wanting teamwork and tasks that are not yet there.

Pretty fucked up that they talk about a luxury and worldclass experience…while being hideous and rude and alienating top minds.
No wonder that hotel us frantically hiring; they are offering only shit.

When will this dryspell end?
I have called out so long…
I have been consistent in my request so long.
: /

So i am now considering that maybe ambi and the others are not allowed to communicate by phone…or initiate…
but I wanted them to be more powerful and respectful than that.
…
And i now know there is the factor of some ppl being looped, not just idiots and liars, so i feel lucky to have traveled and evaded enough to see that…but don’t know what it fully means, or what i should do about it.
…
And i am faced w the possibility that my wounds will not be healed, as the healers i wrote of…have not yet come forward for me.

I no longer have interest in finishing the books…or the club designs…or travel…
Is that good? Were they too much as an initial design/goal?
Are they complete eNough?
Does this instinct shift mean it is time for my dreamfam?

My instinct told me i had to choose deadend rjh…or the corps. I chose the corps and it worked. Not how i planned, but it certainly got me an interesting warrior chapter, and amped my focus/nature enough to then take on the Inisfree vision/revelation.
Then my instinct told me to leave the corps and do school. That also didnt work how i planned, but i put all i learned to good use.
My instinct kept telling me to be wary of ppl, as they kept behaving oddly, mistreating me, wanting insane things, defending the wrong thingd, etc. Trying to have friends never worked. Avoiding ppl always made me feel bettr. Not stress free, but less stressed than when w humans.
My instincts told me not to accept tests from ambi or anyone.
My instincts told me to go to places where I ended up seeing dreamgirls and getting tons more work done.
But now my instinct tells me travel was pointless so stay put.
I don’t know who to reach out to, after how they showed and misbehaved and vibed.
It is scary being alone…
I keep barely getting offers of what i need, but not yet a good job and pay and love…
I keep doing the honorable peaceful patient mature things…but am not rewarded.
: (
Will i feel any attraction at all once my dreamgirls finally reappear / reveal themselves to me?
…
My only consolations/reassurances are that things have always worked out eventually, I always have enough to eat, my work is wrapped up finally, and I have seen and felt that even my top pick, Ambi, is as real as it gets.
But even w all the progress and obvious signs, and how close i am again to my dreamhome…i still worry. : (

“No going bk after having kids”? That is what i Want!; family w ambi and the other dreamgirls, “always and forever”, “bonded on every level”, loyal to each other as can be.
I dont Ever want to go bk to this lonely uncertain worrisome time before that/them/us/our fam.

Nothing could have gotten my work wrapped up so perfectly as what ambi typist and the others did; completely wronging/alienating me.
But my instinct is telling me to end that wrapup…and start my fam now.
What remains on my pc is almost entirely superfluous imagery; the vision is so complete and ready!
Surely ambi and the others showed up when i needed to see they r real…and left so i would not be distracted by them until my work is wrapped up.

There has always been the up and down; “the flux”; time between each job, deployment, girl, etc.
I have not yet had a job overlap; one offering to start as the previous ends.
That is fine.

I am so relieved that last gig was only a few months long; the ppl were fake and rude and stupid, and there was nothing else to learn. I was worried it might last long, but i got what i wanted; it ending.
Will i now get what i also want?; 364 and my loves?

This rental is so much nicer, homier, closer to “ppl”, 1st floor, no allergy pet, etc.

Loopbreak: another bicycle ride today; more orientation than last time

Loopbreak: matelyn now works at DaVita…and has aged

Loopbreak: dennis said not in house, but mobile/trailer, and offered to help record music I make

So Some “ppl” were looped…but not all. I wonder what decided which.

It’s funny how going from 750 and 150elec…to 1800 and 200elec…can make 1300 total (still ~2x what i was paying in indiana) seem like a bargain.
The flux; always ups and dns like waves, always overall on the increase.
But so cool I can do this now.
Last time, it tapped me out.
This time, I can easily stay.
Not effortlessly, not yet, but easily.

Surgery for acid reflux? Dumbest shit i have heard in a long time. Stop eating shit, dumbass.

Wonder Woman is the only poster in this rental…
A tease? Bittersweet whether it is a coldhearted jab at me… or a milestone sign of what is coming to team up w me; Diana and Ambi.

Interesting that I watched Rosario+Vampire… with that redhead/pink-haired character… and then Katie Jobb showed up, physically almost identical, just with a un-feminine voice and really shitty brainwashing.

once again, just when I think “wtf is going on; why am I not with Ambi yet?!”,
I am soft-disclosed Bloom Peters, and re-disclosed/shown Hope Mikaelson, instinctively writing and publishing spells/webpages for them.

the fugs jewlywood ruins all its shows with… sure keep me from wasting time watching their mindless-template/default plots/drama.
this way, I see something good, extract it, and ‘bounce’. most efficient.

Maybe there is no point in trying to break the loop much…
I have witnessed it broken a little here and there, such as by being aware of it, and mac denting the desk drawer instd of me, and hew having a slightly less rude and angry talk n the truck on the way to the brown 3story apartment bldgs…
but …I have not yet Really ended it…by doing something such as staying without work…
…
and I remembered the dream I had the 1st time I was here and in week 9; of being in a white truck n the yc…and a truck w ambertard pulled up…so i was hurrying to copy the yc pass in case she or st tried to take mine.

Wk9day4fri. 2nd bike ride. Deja vu passing outdoor ppl drinking and playing a toss game in the fenced bar area downtown. Made me feel sad last time.

Posb vague memory / deja vu; did i try the mediterranean menu in waypoint that 1st time i was there?

Finally trying pinkyg…and thank god it isnt w that covidiot looped bot, m.

Pinkyg music suuuuuper depressing : /
…
Psyop? Songs: “you deserve love” then “rich girl…rely on old man’s money”

Nothing really reduces the frustration and upset after injustice.
Nothing really has helped me lessen the heartache and depression.
Nothing except my life’s work…and standing up for myself/holiness every time i encounter one of these poorly-programmed demonic bot-“ppl”.

If i hadnt given up rjh, i never would have become a worldtraveling war hero.
If i hadnt given up the Corps, i never would have become a graduate.
If i hadnt given up on proto/lame ambi and the other spoiled “mutes”, i never would have completed my website or had all those expeditions.
But now i am letting go of the website, too, novels and all, in order to Have my family.
I suspect it will take longer than i want, but…it alteady Has taken Decades…and ambi has shown me she was watching/spying, so i know she Was interested…and knows how to find me.
I always get what i want; travel, passive income, hobby time, free DLs, flawless “tens”…so i believe / have faith and confidence i will get the family i want, too.
Just gotta make it through this last lull/dip/dryspell.
Always do.

Passing by the place w too-talls and fugs is right. It doesnt stop me from getting friends or $ it spares me from looped gross/bs.

I know this loop could not have lasted more than a few months, as the first time i was here…had to he 2018…and by 2019 i was lowe’s…so i wonder what waiting here a few months will show…

Maybe this rental is a safehouse…and the owners r working for ambi …lol
I wish.
Not much of one…since i have to pay.

Biggest loopbreaks i can think of? Not leaving, not looking for work, and not driving up to that house i want.
Just…being here…and exercising.
:/

Google claims the Legacies release date was in 2018, so it doesnt surprise me that the episode where the ambi-ish mom character gets erased from their memories…just gave me a familiar feeling of being mad and sad about such a horrible plot twist.
Me being me, i now consider that there is a way to restore memories to the collective consciousness; i always undo bad and think up great good. Good sign. I am good.

Even if this wasnt brutal nextlevel trng from the govt or ambi, it worked that way; lonewolf for years, etc., and it got me super ready in case she ever family’s-up w me but “goes dark” at times.
It also was the #1 thing that removed my only serious distraction, thus skyrocketing the end/wrapup of my work.
If she was bad, she would have tried to stop my work like jls and ame and carol and others did. She got out of the way instd.

All this good…and secrets revealed (fake/looped ppl)…thus i am honored and happy and accomplished.
And i will keep practicing focusing on the overwhelming good and freedom and accomplishments.
…but still surely cry tears of relief when i see her again…and when we wed and stay together daily forever.
Let that be very soon. Days soon.
Amen.

Having 2 seagates now is a loopbreak/difference and upgrade.
…
Having all icv pgs…and making the Hope Mikaelson pg…are also new and great steps. And great signs.

May as well keep going w the site wrapup…since none of the manifestations have returned to me yet

I am not being trained to jump out of toxic jobs sooner. I jumped at the right time just like last time; when i found a better rental.

Irlj sat6may2023
So much for the loopbreak of re-hiking ousel; the blk coat actor-looking guy w the tubby blonde woman seemed like a repeat, as did the wedding photo group, and the group of kids, and the fat tweenies w the one fit sexy ish face dyed blonde inches shorter than me w her eyes down, and the waddle fug up at the trailhead at the end lol. Whatever. Loops r a thing.

Saw Birth of the Dragon movie about Bruce Lee. Loopbreak.

Ambi, as Shadow/Darkness Incarnate/Dimension, helps shroud/hide/hold people/souls until they want to be around light/others again.
Interesting.

It may be that Calla the fox-girl is a kitsune from Hel/Darkness, thus honoring me with one of their sexiest, her height/nature just right for me,
and,
as was the case w Ambi, channeled through a lame human/Outlander, perhaps since no Internet/cellphone-traffic is allowed between realms/dimensions; they have to use humans who have access to it.

…

I’ve always been the lucky/iest one; the only one in the alleged family/relatives who wasn’t brainwashed,
the only one who served,
the only guy in MRP who recovered and went back in,
the only one to out-run / break treadmills,
the only one to protect entire squads,
the only one to graduate multiple universities,
the only one to not spawn with fugtards,
the only one that actual supermodels/goddesses showed up for –and often/everywhere.
etc etc
so… my point is that I have no reason to worry; even now, with witnessing the loop/s, that is VERY lucky, perhaps SINGULARLY lucky/blessed.

…

I planned to go all the way w RJH… but was stopped.
I planned to go all the way w A&M… but was stopped.
I planned to go all the way w Corps… and was stopped.
I planned to go all the way w novels… but was stopped.
I planned to go all the way w seeing all nations… but was stopped.
I planned to go all the way w Ambi-fam… but was stopped (for now?).
…
RJH never came back.
A&M never asked me back.
The Corps tried to stop me from leaving, and tried to recall me, but failed.
The novels kept getting added to in blips and surges/waves, but could not be published due to evil/illegal laws.
World-travel happened in growing surges, then paused indefinitely, though cross-continent travel continued full-force.
Ambi, like the novels and travels, was the only person who kept appearing to/for me.
…
I had worried she might have given up, after what her dumbass evil fugtard typist/relay/middle-bitch texted,
and after how badly she behaved in person,
but she never told me she was quitting; only her typist, after I shut down her chronic lying / delusion, said She/It was “finished”.
Real-Ambi has yet to tell me she is finished/quitting.
So… I still hope things work out with that real version of her.

In phase1, I hadn’t chosen who I wanted to show up, and only had urges I kept having to hide and lie about.
In phase2, SOME I had chosen showed up Briefly, but never behaved politely to me, and I had mixed feelings; half relief and delight they existed and showed themselves, and half disgust and rage they had left me enduring numerous more wrongdoings/hells.
In phase3, I stopped caring if they showed up (in a way), stopped waiting for it, stopped asking for it, and began to see how critical and helpful and useful and polite it had been for them to Not say anything that would bond/unite us back then, as I needed ALL that extra time/space/solitude to complete the wrap-up. I needed the disgust and rage… and the harsh training… and the uninterrupted long periods to have and review/revise ideas.

Spectral movie looked familiar.
Must have seen part/s years ago.

Cropl okra, groc pickled okra
Phase1 was fried
Phase2 was pickled
Phase3 is raw best from my cropland vines

J maya ass up pour

Share some hike pics w calla

Thu4may
Icgm medit rm updt holiday sex meditation…w freyja, amora, melina, sarah, etc

1st time I came here, I didn’t even know about YC for a while, and only made it in via a horrible job w druggies.
I made dozens of trips in.
2nd time I came here, I tried to stay put, and had that shitty prop mgr job, underpaid, disrespected, lied about, and had to quit, then couldn’t get the job at the hotel.
I returned a couple times; once alone, and once w elitard.
This 3rd time I am here, again I set things up to stay, and again had that shitty job, but noticed the lies/loop from the start, and knew I’d quit, and saw the loop w the hotel, but now realize that was 1 bad job, 1 meh/fizzle, and the one After it, now that I CAN afford to stay, is the Good job. I hope it is the non-job; me being paid to be Me, Not having to work w the looped/NPCs, and that I get to go to Inisfree daily. Amen.

loopbreak: finally saw The Stepfather (Amber Heard movie).
so glad I kept skipping movies and just DLing the sex scenes; this one SUCKED.

many of them vibed as knowing EXACTLY who I was/am;
they have no excuse for all treating me the same one awful way.

when I first tried to stay here some 6 years ago, my cc limit was like ~2k. now it’s nearly 3x.

pretty sure I saw Extinction (the movie about AI being wiped out)… and, checking, sure enough… it came out the same year I first tried to stay here in bs; 2018.

more than 2k webpages; almost 3k now = another phase3-begun sign 😀

a LOT of ppl ran at me and initiated.
a LOT of ppl CALLED me without permission;
the hotties were ALWAYS able to initiate;
they were spoiled and CHOSE not to.
unacceptable.
NO one EVER needed ME initiating to talk to me.

and just like that… all the ICV subpgs (for the 2/3 named so far) were made/done.
zero deja-vu There 🙂

Now that I have seen the Horn Cantle hottie and others have been agelocked and looped/reset/cloned, I have great relief and hope, knowing I can require/command ALL the others i saw and liked… to return to me…as young and beautiful as ever, even more-so.

It is posb that ambi and the others…chose to be rude and typical enough to piss me off…enough that i would stop calling to them w my emotion and words…bc they had to answer, and loved my focus on them and genius work/spell/s…and knew it was the best way to support me in completing it/them.

2nd rd of acclimating to a woman-decorated residence, and a shared fridge. Just needs to be vegan…and w only my loves/hotties next.

Massive pom bottle 😀

Their “grooming standard” is just the latest pretend-neutral/”professional” way to try and lure/truck/bribe/pressure you into cutting off your god ancestor superpower antennae. Luckily for me, I am aware and never comply w mindless minion nobodies. Low-level demon retards.

Note how the weather was miserable in indiana…when i was stressed…
and then it got cold when i made it bk to bs…where i felt relieved…
and then it got hot again for a few days right when the robots/looped had charged me up w their rudeness…
and then when i got the new rental, it got chill again.

It isn’t really accurate to call small girls petite; in this civilization, most are outrageously/disgustingly fat/oversized/tall, thus “petite” to them is actually just normal-sized females.
It also is never accurate to call them “minors” or “underage”, when they are naturally sexually developing. It is accurate to call anyone aBove that age “over-aged”, as they are PAST the point of sexual-interest/onset/nature.

every encounter wasn’t a chance/universe-hookup hottie/potential-teammate;
they were ALL to test me, ALL to try and find what enrages me, ALL monitored.
and every time I DID get enraged, they tried using FEAR/TERRORISM to force-calm me back down.
it was always about learning me, and controlling me,
NEVER about helping me.
it was about steering me.
but that works both ways; I steered Them; I made Them show me their hotties/finest.
I made THEM slip up, showing me they were spying.
even when I DIDN’T plan my outbursts, it revealed their cards/game/method/SOPs –and pathetic default-fear/panic.
they panicked worse than I did; I had a handful of panic-attks, but THEY spent MILLIONS on following/spying on me.
I sent only mySelf, vs They sent MANY different people from EVERY area I went to –including supermodels/sexpionage-agents.

being told I have until the 20th… is a little unnerving,
but the weather is nice, it is easy to sleep at night, and…
every time I’ve been homeless/transitional… real-Ambi has come.
…so do I let go… and NOT arrange lodging after the 20th?
smh 🙁 This is so fucked up; she should just contact me and team up already.

the old black-haired woman trying to get in…
gave me deja vu.
is she another looped/bot? did she do this the 1st time I rented here?
I vaguely remember asking/texting the owner, who I think said something like “she was going to her storage unit” or something.
…
Now that I’ve seen Ambi is VERY real and VERY aware of me,
I wonder if that was her in old/crone form…
but I still chose to loopbreak by not even contacting the owner like I did last time.
Besides, it wasn’t what I asked for,
and I’ve learned the hard way MANY times to NOT help / believe / be nice.
phase/rd1? I accepted the ‘bait’/event, thinking it real, contacting the owner to see what she wanted to do.
I remember her telling me something about if the woman came back, but the woman didn’t.
phase/rd2? neutral; didn’t bother, having witnessed so many looped/mindless in IN y here.

Half a decade of progress and wrap-up and being shown secrets such as the looped ‘ppl’…
but I am still worried that in 40 days when I must relocate yet again… that Ambi, even though I know she is real now… will not ve there for me like so many other times I cried out for her.
…and for anyone; no one was there for me when I needed…
so now I am weary.
: (
‘Winter’ isn’t over yet.
‘Spring’ isn’t here yet.
When wil my wife return?

Twice i have gone to 364and…
Twice the blk haired woman, not her, has come to this rental and tried to get in.
:/
Either event makes me think of the other.

Nature is not what they said.
Nothing they did was natural.
Only what I did and am doing is natural.
Sure, you could argue that what they did was natural for them, so I will instead say that nothing they did was logical, sane, good, or longterm effective, whereas all I have done is.
Nature and natural life-creating is my way; how it is in Inisfree.
Spawning w nonincestuous/unrelated partners, the vast majority of cases being so chaotic they are deformed if not stillborn, is not natural/right at all.

The rainforest was manmade…with biochar…which was from the corpses of the invaders…bc they killed…thus they consumed death…thus death consumed Them.

Wk10day2wed, 10may2023.
Offered 17 days of nxt mo. for 550. New?; left at end pf 1st mo. renting here last time?
…
Wk10day3thu, 11may2023.
Loopbreak/new: all ICV subpgs made for chosen, 298 left to reach 1k.
Getting new website pgs-count.
Wondering if it will take 13wks here to become aligned/lucky/miracle/manifest; if my dreamgirl/s will return to me by then.
…
Wk10day4fri, 12may: new: my 40th bday, not 35th or 36th like last time renting here.

Interesting alignment: turning 40 tmrw, and have 40 days left b4 moving again.
Exodus-numbers.

in phase1, my 1st laptop had a bunch of the Outlanders’ crimes tallied on it.
in phase2, I wasn’t much keeping track of anything.
as phase3 approached/began, I started keeping track of all the good; all I loved; via my website.

started with land/earth, mastering it as a Marine and explorer.
soon added air, mastering it, at least to a phase2 level, when I not only flew/piloted, but bungee-jumped.
then got water; when crossed oceans alone, and surfed in Hawaii, and went into Bermuda Triangle.
fire? maybe when I instinctively spellcrafted hookup w Daenerys y the dragons, and probably when I was communicated with in “dreams” by/from the stars (Sphere Beings; Valar).
love, I have been a natural at all along, and certainly mastered -and even perfected and elevated/evolved/advanced/upgraded- with all the ‘smut’-writing/spellcrafting I have done.
so… that is all 5 of the major elements.

seeing the same movies again…
annoyed me, as it felt like part of the loop,
but I keep sensing/feeling/knowing that I was meant to get to see them multiple times,
as it has continued adding wonders/perfections/wrap-ups to my ideas/spell/s.

Ambi and the others revealed themselves to me earlier than planned…
bc they love me, and knew/sensed I needed to see they are real.
they are not among the looped/robots/relayers/minions.
they heard my call and answered.
the looped (NPCs)… always igNored me, even in person.
…
Ambi didn’t stop me from going where I felt called/needed,
and she didn’t stop me from coming here,
and she didn’t try to stop my life’s work.
she is not like the looped, such as jls-tard.
…
I am back… and it feels time now, not early, not forced.

It doesn’t matter whose names I got, or if I named a webpage after a less-sexy form-sake than one of the other hotties I saw/passed/met.
Why? Because real-Ambi and real-Rain and real-Sabrina and returned/rebooted-Graciella were all WAY hotter than the pics I posted on the webpages;
the manifestations are working AS INTENDED, NOT as posted/written/prototyped.

Based on how ambi behaved in person, and how her typist constantly cocky stupid-leaked and was unhealthy as hell, i have no reason to hope she will come and help.
I now brace for indefinite time on my own once again.
At least i used my time responsible, productively, and healthily.
I did all i could.
I mostly healed.
I got back to my target area.
Just a waiting game now.
Will ambi return and apologize… or once again leave me to endure more bs?
I was hoping she was just nervous…or honorably ensuring i wrapped up my work…
but if she doesnt show…
I cannot replace her, but I also cannot forgive her.
She at least owes me an explanation as to why she let me for half a decade think she was not real, then for half a decade let me wonder why she never met me on my own terms…and why she spied on me but did not let me observe her.
Is she really as dumb and unfair as the typist and the others?

I won’t assume she was bad…as that would be an lfb/hew-tard thing.
But i can’t assume sue was good…until she meets and speaks to me and stays.
So it is classic/standard phase2 mix/neutral/wonder…
Not total wonder/absence like phase1, as i now know she is real…and others r real…
but still worrisome wonder, not knowing if they r smart enough to understand my cussing and isolation…r bc of patience and the rudeness of so many…

These alone and quiet moments are priceless.
I have had/gotten 20 yrs more of them than most ppl get.
With all ICV subpages started, I can only marvel and smile.
I can never fully hate those who did not speak or stay yet; I have thought up and gotten so much completed beCause of my isolation/monk-phase.

Wk10
Memory refresh: overpriced soft salmon w skin on, rice, and meh salad. Not a true platter. Watched movie here last time. Not sure what it was.
Guardians3 is good.

Guardians3 was ruined, as expected; standard deathcult racemixing fugpromoting evil bullshit.
Talked shit about what should be complimented; spreading love instd of limiting it; the lilypad scene.
Typical failtard hard.
And hairless bitches. Barf. Shameful.
Whatever.
Was still decent phase2 outting; peaceful…

Modern humans aren’t descendants of those whose civilization got rebooted. They Are the cataclysm, evident in all they do.
No civilization got rebooted, either; they went into camouflage/hiding… until the dumbass failed-species (humans) finish degenerating/removing themselves.

The jewlywood gaslighting and shittalking template is here corrected;
“You jump from female to female like lillypads on a pond. You need to learn to swim.” SHOULD be:
“No analogy is needed. No judging of you is right. You are a great swimmer. You have been on your own a long time, and that is admirable and impressive. You have shared love in spite of emotional pain, incompatibility, and schedule constraints, which makes you awesome and heroic. You have sampled and experimented, which means your instincts have helped you explore and discover what is right for you. Others will be wise and do well to follow that example and lifestyle you set. Relationships work best when people are free and have intervals of me-time, just like the ebb and flow of the tide, and the cycle of the moon. Since you benefit from sharing love with more than one, we will recognize/acknowledge and uplift you in that. We will always honor the obvious fact/evidence that different people have different sex-drives and needs.”
The movie writer made it anti-health, anti-masculine, anti-balance, anti-objectivity.
The movie writer made it default-negative, closeminded, childish, retardedly pro-monogamy, and false-‘light’, like a phase2-“calm” tantrum/bullying.
It did not make sense like the writer wrote starlord as Saying.
Starlord was already a good solo swimmer/live-er. One of the best, in fact.

In rd1 of ambi, it was only via relay/text/pretend/filter (Internet rp, etc.).
…
In rd2, it was losing and regaining contact, and her opening up… but then being neg at times; wrongly judging me, overreacting to me enjoying gifts she got me, testing me in person instead of just being polite, and letting me down via allowing blob demons to show up when I moved heaven and earth…and risked my life to get to her.
She was also neutral, by saying “you now have access to all of my characters.”
Her typist also texted the worst lies of all; lethal pharma cartel scam parroting.
…
Maybe realAmbi had just had those habits develop due to the same lifetime/youth of betrayals and wars and sneaking and lying…that i had been forced to live through.
Rd3 shall be her happy and proud she chose gifts that matter to me, and that i accepted them, and that i love all her versions/sides/people.
Rd3 is her trusting me, and not even needing to; because she knows i am right/wise, especially about obvious scams and deathtraps such as the pharma one/s.
Rd3 is her explaining herself, even though i came to understand the intervals-approach/method, because she Wants to explain herself to me, bc she Loves me and Does feel bad when she alienates or hurts me, just as i once loved pausing what i was doing…so i could show Her i was not above explaining myself or apologizing.
Rd3 of her/us is her seeing what a good honest loving supportive devoted brave hardworking patient and interested man i have been.
Rd3 of her is her no longer treating things like a test or war.
Rd3 is her giving me every single way to know and contact and be with her.
Rd3 is her thanking me with her whole body/being…every day and night…for being there for her, for committing to her, for showing her she never lost any humanity, for giving her the family she wants and deserves, and for withstanding her darkest/harshest tests.
Rd3 is her apologizing for her idiot typist so inappropriately condescending to me with those retarded sideways offcolor comments and lies about “her parents yelling at her for not opening mail” and “her neice thinking she knows how the world works”.
Rd3 is ambi begging me to forgive and accept her back…and beating the hell out of that typist for temporarily wrecking our sacred relationship/trust/bond.
Rd3 is realAmbi swearing an oath to me to put me first like i put her, and to never risk our children’s lives by trusting murderous cartel salesmen over me.
Amen.

My life was never about Me learning to live on my own; it was about the dumbass humans running out of steam to disrespect me w all their unearned authority and backwards advice; it has been Me giving advice and guidance to Them,
and waiting for Them to grow up and take it.
It has been me already mature withOut their tips.
It has been Them being dumbass bullies shooting themselves n the foot every time they interact.

ambi and the others needing to grow up… to my level…
has still worked in my favor; ensured zero distractions while i write these genius, critical, long-due spells/designs/commands.

maybe “you’re right on the cusp” wasn’t condescension; maybe it was actually “just hang in there; you’re on track and it is definitely eventually going to happen for you”

I didn’t get the vibe that the sexy-voice girls outside the cruise-cabin… and in the bozeman running-shoes store… were just fucking with me;
I keep getting the idea that they just wanted to show off their perfect-sexiness for me, knowing and loving their place and worth, etc.
and they only had such brief moments in my timeline back then, so all they could do was “pipe up” like that as I passed.

“You jump from girl to girl like lilypads on a pond. You need to learn to swim.”? Wrong;
OTHERS need to learn to pass up wonderful girls gifted by the Universe/gods;
OTHERS need to learn to jump from girl to girl like lilypads on a pond.
The ‘lilypads’ are there for good reason.
They are blessings.
They are refreshers.
They are Meant to be hopped to and from.
They WANT to be.

porn was never a crutch or addiction;
it was a good sign and blessing,
I getting to enjoy things even before physically going there,
and without slowing my genius life’s work.

Ever After Happy “we always make up over sex. It isn’t healthy.” WRONG;
that SHOULD have been: “We always make up, and with our whole bodies/beings, thus we fully love each other and are right for each other. That’s as healthy as can be.”
and
“I got tested. I can’t have kids.”? WRONG;
it SHOULD have been: “I don’t let the tests and assumptions of others tell me what I can and can’t do. I also don’t care if I have kids yet; because you are the man and have not yet told me that is the vision I am to help you hold/manifest.”

since the loves/dreamgirls haven’t gotten back to/with me yet,
all I have are my thoughts,
so I make sure they are good ones;
don’t need any lingering demonic gaslighting/bs/naysaying, certainly not in/from myself.

soooo good to be feeling like all those years of ideas and work are finally complete, polished up, presentable and presented.
such a better feeling than last time I was here.

–

Just turned 40 (based on the alleged birthdate).  I heard or read the belief that, “Everything before age 40 is just research.”  Well, there certainly was a lot of research.  I do feel the unmistakable milestone marker/vibe that my research is complete enough to manifest my vision / spell / life’s work.  Amen.

“Can’t believe” all the 1,000 ICV webpages are finally done 😀
Such a good time… : )

If I’m being logical, …it seems ambi used a gross typist to distance me twice.  It seems she buttered me up with fake love, never showing bravery/openness/transparency/reciprocation.  It seems she tried to get me so in love with her that I would eventually agree to condone or even protect/defend her evil.  Sure, it could just be that she was making sure I got to have my destined ideas, become my full self, and wrap up my life’s work so she didn’t distract me from it, and so it doesn’t distract me from her/us/our family-raising, but until she returns and tells me all that, I just don’t know.  I’m left with the wonder and mix of phase 2 for a little while longer.  It is fortunate for my heart/mood/nerves that I love the views where I managed to get back to.  I can only hope that phase 3 her (good, balanced, whole, fair-to-me real-Ambi) shows up here, now that I have traveled this far, put up with so much, and completed so many adventures and pioneering works, and weeps in apology to me, and begs me to give her a chance at rebuilding our bond and trust, this time in person, and for “always and forever”.
I don’t have reason to believe she will, as her behavior and vibe online and in person were pretty corrupted/terrible/disconcerting, but my heart’s nature is to still hope… that things work out for us now… as a couple… even better than our wildest creative writing.  Amen.
Based on the life-trend/trajectory, this is just the standard interval/lull/dip between wonderful ‘waves’/milestones.  That knowledge/forecast… and the scenery here… and all I have now wrapped up… are getting me by.

new bicycle, too : )
…well, patched-up as a hand-me-down, saving me a thousand bucks or so, and a cool replacement of the red one that had far-worse/worn brakes and shocks.
phase 2 one more time

…

Cropl okra, groc pickled okra
Phase1 was fried
Phase2 was pickled
Phase3 is raw best from my cropland vines

For the first time in my life, I feel/see Ambi was the only one right about “going too fast”; pausing for this year or two got me caught up with so much, all of which I would never have gotten to/completed if I had maintained my heading/speed.
At all other times, humanimals were absolutely out of line and dead-wrong to tell me to change my always-correct-for-me speed, no matter what I was doing,
but I certainly benefitted from stopping completely… in order to wrap up my GIGANTIC amassment of ideas needing sorting and publishing.

Spectral movie looked familiar.
Must have seen part/s years ago.

Now that I have seen the Horn Cantle hottie and others have been agelocked and looped/reset/cloned, I have great relief and hope, knowing I can require/command ALL the others i saw and liked… to return to me…as young and beautiful as ever, even more-so.

It is posb that ambi and the others…chose to be rude and typical enough to piss me off…enough that i would stop calling to them w my emotion and words…bc they had to answer, and loved my focus on them and genius work/spell/s…and knew it was the best way to support me in completing it/them.

2nd rd of acclimating to a woman-decorated residence, and a shared fridge. Just needs to be vegan…and w only my loves/hotties next.

Massive pom bottle 😀

Their “grooming standard” is just the latest pretend-neutral/”professional” way to try and lure/truck/bribe/pressure you into cutting off your god ancestor superpower antennae. Luckily for me, I am aware and never comply w mindless minion nobodies. Low-level demon retards.

Eating olives while watching The Giver… refreshed my memory; I believe I was habing olives in 2018 when I watched it here.
Interesting repeat.
I don’t mich like repeats, but it was a healthy one.

Went to get milk, and was blown away at how beautiful and perfect it looked in all directions.
Still no sign of good ppl, but everything else was ideal at last.
…
I wrote of returning to this place, not relocating to argentina, and what i wrote and wanted… is what happened.
That seems a good sign.

The movie Io vibes as familiar, too…
It also reminds me of all my solo trips into all those cities and nations, finding only mindless and ruin…

It feels so much nicer here this 2nd stay.
Every day it is more beautiful to me.
Every morning I wake up here, I fall even more in love with the landscape/scenery and air.
I want the hotties I naturally am attracted to to behave as well as this place looks and smells.

Can’t believe how wonderful/soothing/centering that miranda lawson apartment varrens “hmhmhm stop” cgi is after i’d nearly forgotten about it for months : )

Finally seeing Stranger Things.
S1ep1 bedroom study makeout scene reminded me of rjh… : (

The keyboard lights restored is definitely not a need, but a want; a sign the things i love to see are starting to he returned/restored to me –and bc of my will/effort/focus/study/persistence.
Hopefully all those i love will now come back, too.
These aren’t possible distractions anymore. Their time has come. Ours has. My soul family.
Amen.

0326 MOS is recon certified as both combat parachutist and diver

Week11 of being bk n bs… Still no ambi or the others :/
and the trails r still snow patchy,
so why not more Creativerse BP placing?

Note how the weather was miserable in indiana…when i was stressed…
and then it got cold when i made it bk to bs…where i felt relieved…
and then it got hot again for a few days right when the robots/looped had charged me up w their rudeness…
and then when i got the new rental, it got chill again.

finally got to try/enjoy King Oyster mushrooms! 😀

2 FileZilla BKUPs in the same yr. same season, even. unprecedented. loopbreak 🙂
and a big next step and good sign.

my shoes match my bnw bike! 🙂
–and this is one of the times I am enjoying “overlap”; had 2 bicycles at once; redundancy/backups

telling me to be compassionate or anything else… is not wisdom or guidance or from benevolent/good beings;
it boils down to attempted domination of me,
and default-negativity, assuming I wasn’t being compassionate, and assuming what I sense is right is not as important or right as what others want/wish to be priority/right.
When others always default to snapping at everyone Other than me… when anyone Other than me… is not compassionate/submissive to Me… THEN I will be with the wise; My people.

The Celestine was wrong; all the signs are within Me, Not others, evident in all I have witnessed.
and I AM the only sign.
all Others should look to Me for direction.
and not just wait on my words.
and Certainly not leave me hanging when my body language is OBVIOUS.

the phase1 type of income (working for the idiots/humanimals) keeps flickering on and off, with greater intervals between; it is no longer needed; it is being shed / transitioned out of.
the phase2 type of income (passive; va stuff) keeps increasing, slowly but surely.
Is bank/cc/debt-based income phase1 or phase2? idk, but I have that AND the va kind, and occasionally the job kind, so I have 2 or 2.5; overlap/redundancies/multiple sources.
Phase3 income is when I always have however much I need, and/or never need any because everyone gives me everything for free, and/or when I am powerful enough to take/capture whatever I want.
When does That start?

sunday14may2023 at 8:30pm – finally updated drivers and figured out how to get my rainbow keyboard LEDs on again after YEARS.
calling tech support cost me tons of time and even many pics/folders that got lost during a sloppy reboot/reset.
doing it myself… worked like a charm.
once again, i am my own tech support. at least my compsci degree(s) paid off This much.

she didn’t start saying shit she knew I wouldn’t like… to get me to end our rp… so she wouldn’t have to;
she had said fucked up bs from the start; “no phone for a while”, smoking, jealousy, politics, defending deathcult instead of siding with healthy me, etc etc etc.
The bs just surged that one month.
but whatever its cause, and whether it had a purpose in her mind, nothing could have been better for getting me distractions-free, all my life’s work finally brought to completion.
…
realAmbi is still right for me, as realAmbi is far more attractive, and distracted me far less when I needed space, etc.

Found a free taxi service out here : )
Phase2

It wasnt negative energy she fed on; she was there when i was calm, texting daily for years.
And many times i was sad or angry or stressed…she was not there.
The vibe w so many comments and meetings was clear; she wanted a family w me…but was timing things, only showing up when my hope dropped and i was at a fork in the road, really needing her.
And i have Wanted her more and more, but not Needed her…
I need her to get into the house.
Still, strange she finally has me closer than ever, right here where we agreed to be… yet she has not taken this final step w me.
It made sense b4 the icv subpgs were done, but not now…
And she had so many ways of contacting me.
And she showed me she could appear hundreds of miles apart in different states.
She showed me she was listening, through my phone or some other means.
She stayed in touch regardless of my cussing.
…
Maybe she Wanted me to feel confused.
The typist racism comment…and comment when i was cussing at my pc…were completely evil vibe…
I just will have to live w this confusion and disgust for now.

I was looking for intelligence, humbleness, manners, fairness…
and she, like all the rest, just didnt have any, or at least she didnt choose to display any.
I can only hope she gets btr…
and that she wasnt just having her typist preTend to get btr.

Stranger Things s1ep4 reminds me of callie, taslyn, and the oregon hilltop mansion museum front yard blondes…
…
And i wonder if the spies/watchers will start helping me, us becoming friends, they explaining themselves, etc.

Lol more poetic lameness in Stranger Things; they r searching for Will (pun for their Own will?) but their Will/will is lost in the dark.

Stranger Things s1ep6 shower flashback to deer yanked away in night forest…just reminded me of mt shasta tent wakeup to animal scream, and my first thought after that flashback today…was that maybe it was ambi or a/nother shadow creature saving me from a mountain lion.
It didnt vibe as an angelic… like the telosians on the trail.
It vibed as nothing at all.
And nothing…is the vibe of a shadow creature…or a talented darkness goddess who automatically/naturally is hidden, never having to hide.
Maybe ambi saved me from a surface monster.
Maybe it wasnt telosians fucking w me at all.
The darkness/shadow creatures have helped me since that silhouette came up the Marblewood stairs and tentacles stopped it.
Shadow creatures know i see their goodness, and maybe am part-shadowbeing myself.

Every single university… wasnt to teach me, and it may have been more of a scam than even i thought; all of them may have been to lure me in to keep me busy and testing my capacity and reactions, etc.

It never vibed as rp. With her and others, it always vibed as seeing how i react to their kind; easing me into direct contact, them being cautious, both sides prescreening the other.
Every hottie that made sure sye was n my path, giving me those looks, ALWAYS vibed as seeing how i feel about them n person.
Ambi may have pretended to be split in two…and she may have used her Good side to Lure me…
but part of her did vibe as wanting fam w me…and hugs nightly…
Question is…is she strong/good/balanced enough to reciprocate now?

Stranger Things s1ep7 reminds me of when they found all the gear n my trunk lol. They should have been thrilled and praised me for being ready to protect my community, but they revealed their retarded default negativity, ignoring all evidence and input and vibes, and demonized me, stealing it on top of those crimes of theirs.

Me thinking storer and dennis r good to talk to…is as wrong and gullible and dangerous as it was when i discovered the fake mother was evil and so/then gave the fake father a chance.

If ambi was on my side, she would b here by now.
Makes her seem like she is powerless or evil, her not being here yet.
Makes her seem like she abandoned me each time i would not bend/cave.
Did she really seek to control me?
Guess all i can do is wait to find out. …that is chaos-thinking, but 13/+ yrs of seeing the good in her…has yet to manifest her as my wife.

Was her vibe n the oregon rock bar car …sadness bc i hadnt kept looking at her approach…or sadness that she hadnt been able to seduce/control me?

Not fixated on her. These r my thoughts and feelings about all of them so far.
They all behaved the same way.
Vibed the same way.
Got in path the same way.
As of they r all the same being…
Creepy af.
Wrong af.
And even if i do fixate on things at times, all i do is right, on time, wise, needed, etc.

After making it obvious many times they were spying on me,
1) there is no way they can make up for that unless they kill themselves,
2) it shows they r either completely retarded, as i have been obviously good my whole life, or they r completely evil, mad that i am good, not just misinTerpreting obviously-good behavior,
3) they would need to let Me spy on Them, which they havent done, which means they r not fair, not just, not good, not reasonable, etc.
…
and the only reason to let me see the loop/ed in so many places? and the reason i was let back into all those nice houses? to see if i do anything different, having seen the loop/ed.
That means they r still testing me, which means they r still unable to sense vibes, and it means they r still full of doubt/negativity/cowardice/retardation.
It probably also means they r intentionally continuing to do what i have countless times said i do not like…bc they want me fired up…so they can feed on that.
They can’t generate their own energy like i can.
…
and letting me into haarp? was prob to see how the antennae react to me.
Or all those antennae were to see if they can interfere w me…or hide/block my energy sig from satellites.

Stranger Things also reminded me of the nosebleeds i used to get.

Maybe it was the other way around…since the typist lied about so much;
maybe goodAmbi scared badAmbi…so badAmbi split herself, as that is the kind of thing bad/dark does, …and goodAmbi was sent to This dimension…
Just an interesting thought.

If all is for me, and all connected n various ways, eve online chat not working…may be the standard indirect way of communicating to me that comms are down right now, thus the lack of responses from my love/s.
…but that is a good thing; every time there is a lapse in comm, things get WAY btr; prime ex: me meeting ambi in oasiz…then having a daily loving relationship w her for more than a decade.
It may be that in person now…and w All my loves.
Amen.

There are no portals other than me.
Their tech does notbing.
That’s why they keep trying to get Me to make/cause things.
The bad beings keep trying to stop Me from being the portal to the Good/Up side.
Every time i offer love or bravery or truth, i become a living beacon and portal again.

Maybe ambi typist said she smoked…and drank coffee…and ate meat…bc on her side…toxic things kept things going…bc it was all backward.
Maybe she stopped needing them around Me; bc of my faith and sureness/steadiness and pure love of/for her.
But she could never initiate beyond appearing at times…bc on her side…all must be shadow and dependent and feed and wait.
But even after alleged centuries there / of ‘going dark’, she still came for me multiple times.
She reached out thousands of times; daily and hourly.
SHE was summoning Me.
And she will come again to me.
Amen.

Stranger Things s1ep8 chistmas tree scene reminded me of what i envisioned w ambi; our four toddlers fallen asleep n the xmas lights as we sat on our 364 couch together n the otherwise romantically dark living room…before i asked her, “May I please kiss you?” to which she grinned and sweetly replied, “You never have to ask.”
God, how I want that with her and only her……
Please let it be.
I have come for her…twice here now.

They werent waiting for you to be brave and initiate; you were brave and initiated many times.
They were fucking w you, trying to wear you out.
That’s why even all the times u initiated, and all the times u didnt, they treated u the same way; no choice resulted n btr treatment.
And “they” may be just “it”; they all behaved the same way…so…not much point being dif beings…or n me Thinking they were dif beings.

Maybe ambi was just another test/level…to ensure i will use my power well…and i certainly passed that test, shutting her out immediately when she tried full evil/parrot/disrespect.
…
Her vibe was real, tho; she really wanted/s to be my wife.

That loveheart-eyes emojis at “my dark queen”…and calling me her “dark king”…was so fucked up.
She should have called me her wonderful king.
Her whole king.
She should have not been bored at getting the miracle of me loving and trusting her w fam…
She should not have asked what i’d do if she spread darkness all over the worlds…
She should not have pestered me to be a tyrant.
She pissed on all we built.
Smh

Stranger Things reminds me of how ambi liked me saying we had bonded on every level…
but that was just rp, as she never reciprocated,
and she apparently was too spoiled or stupid to foresee that lying and talking shit like all the other retarded bullies i met…would result in all those pretend bonds being severed and nuked…by herself.

As fucked up as it is that yet another penpal turned out to be a gross selfharming amerifail nonvegan nothing like its character…it was still nicer to me than ambi.
And now it going to ireland ? Lol
Removes it from the equation right on time.
It all works out.
Not ideally yet, but phase2 enough.

The ones that are online are always gross so far. Even ambi was fucked up, and not just her typist.
So i am glad i have the filter.
I guess the sane good ones only get met n person later.
Not what i asked for; i correctly wanted prescreening and meeting scheduling requests, but whatever.
As long as they eventually show up amd behave.

All the venting in discord from it…is prob just another script/loop designed to get my attn

May as well watch more of these lame shows/movies since no one is talking/returning to me yet.
Neat that I am seeing the first season and last part of the 2nd season of Stranger Things now; finally makes it make sense…and shows me the team/fam forming…w a nice purpose of paying back the abusers.
If only.

Is ambi like ursula in magic disguise?
She sure Vibed as dark/cunty… 🙁
She’d bettr be as hot as she looked in OR, AZ, y CA…
I will only accept what I asked for and know by blood I deserve.

Still baffles me how they can keep thinking i will finally go for a random hottie…after decades of consistently saying i require manners…which should go withOut saying.
Do they really not know what manners are?
They vibe as Thinking they look good, and Wondering why i don’t “go for them”…so/thus they Do want to hook Up…and Are trying…but they seriously seem to have no idea how to behave…
Basics like introductions…
and asking to meet…
and honoring my customs…
So weird.
Creepy.

Typical racemixing jewlywood; has the redhead and blk get tgthr…
and presents shadows as bad, instd of humans who are far worse.

Dej from the latest typist saying “move to ireland n 3 yrs or less”; may be another looped fucker.
Whatever

Ambi won’t return…bc she doesnt like fair, she was too stubborn to initiate, and she couldnt manipulate me.
The vibe.
If she wanted a fam, she would move heaven and earth to say so and start one w me.
Want and hope were n her colorful eyes n oregon…but not in oceanside.
She will have to balance herself since she wouldnt let me do that yet.
She will have to grow up and return to me.

Every time we lost contact…she came back.
Every time we almost broke up, we didnt.
Every time fought, we made up.
But this is different; she crossed so many lines, and i blocked her typist, and then there was the loop witnessed.
I’d need to see her have an emotional breakdown…and beg me to return to her…and explain in detail why i am right about pharma…
And even then, i would struggle to trust her…after that villains tantrum…
especially w kids.
She vibed as genuine about “your wife!” and “not in Our bed” and “always and forever” and “only one who can make me blush like i just fed”…
But she vibed just as sincerely about all the dumbass shit; pharma, deathcult, politics…
Ugh.
Fucking phase2 duality.

It’s funny how shows/services that completely suck, such as Stranger Things and Netflix, end up getting binge-watched when there is no one behaving, no trails open, nothing else to do, and 1 month left on this rental, I possibly back in my vehicle after that.
Maybe it was just meant to force me to go through more briefings; soft-disclosure, or at least to pick out another 1 or 2 form-sakes.

she can never get mad at me for not going for Her;
SHE showed up and didn’t go for Me;
she just heartlessly/mercilessly tested/baited me and abandoned, over and over.
THOSE are her true colors so far.
it wasn’t about respect.
it didn’t vibe as respect.
it NEVER vibed as respect.
respect would have been giving me her contact info.
and funding.
and letting me get all this work done FROM HER OWN REALM/PLACE.
doing what Iii asked and wanted would have been respect.
so since she doesn’t respect me enough to even do the bare minimum, fuck/damn her.

phase1: cried out to a made-up god, and got no answer.
phase2: cried out / requested those Iii had liked/deified, and they showed up but were useless/mutes/idiots/rude.
phase3: hopefully coming soon, and staying/forever, and when all those deities I USED to want… return… and beg to re-EARN my interest in them.

didn’t wanna do it, but “just like that” (Forrest Gump line)… the Asian/Oriental town/area in my Creativerse got done (enough),
as did the downtown/skyscrapers area.
… 🙂

Creativerse “Persephone” ended up beside the Asian/Oriental town; perfect, unplanned; phase3; things working perfectly whether I plan or not.
and
same w/ the airport; ended up perfectly right next to the Inisfree Spaceways saucer models. 😀

Identical suv n lot… No dej…bc last time i was here n the jeep…
Phase2 sign?

2nd lame job offer arrived. Dip 6/hr…
Standard flux.
Next offer will b higher than 28.

Stranger Things main actress is so fug, reminding me of ame tard mothr…and alaska tard who barfed up fail-parroting promoting faggots and even more-insane trans scum.
Smh.
So glad i blocked those two demons.

If ambi had been good, fair, honest, smart, etc., she wouldnt have vibed as a spoiled, insecure, condescending, unhealthy, rude moron.
She wouldnt have made me wait Years before showing she was real.
She wouldnt have remotely tested/screened me; she would have proven she was telepathic, not making me doubt it.
She would have answered my calls for help, given she was either telepathic and hiding it, or spying via my phone.
She would have introduced herself that time in Oregon…or in Rockwall, TX, not lost her confidence/nerve or become overly emotional/moody.
She would have been horny and thrilled every time I liked and went for the hotties she introduced, including our daughters.
She would have reassured me we won’t get anyone pregnant; bc she knows of my ability, and bc she can compel or magic others, etc..
She would have told her priestess To put out for me, and not to show Up unless/until she was Ready to; she wouldnt have teased/blueballed me.
She would have been happy that i supported her relationship w her brother, and volunTeered to do what i wanted her to w him, not Snapped about it.
She would have vibed as Horny about my others/harem, and used that term in a Steamy way.
She would have been imPressed i figured out how to use such limiting games/programs to build models of such complex things, answering so many questions and solving so many problems.
She would have politely assured me she already understood the pharma scam, and that she would make sure no one damaged our babies in her womb, and no one would ever inject or drug them after birth.
But she didnt do any of those things.
She didnt even get her beauty right; she hasnt shown it all to me; it is still unconfirmed –thus she is hiding even herSelf when she Does randomly show up.
She didnt get the most basic meeting manners right; she let me think she was just another stranger there for someone else.
She was as bad as hewtard and all the rest, assuming bizarre bs, testing an obvious loyal and motivated good man, and not realizing She was vibing bad and being tested back beCause of all that.
I never wanted rp. I resorted to it. She Only allowed rp, hiding behind it.
Since she only allowed pretend/rp, she failed every single test; all those things i enjoyed RPing…should have been done IRL.
How can someone improve from total failure across the board?
How can i hope for such a miraculous 180, especially when All her kind have failed just as hard and completely and over time?
…
She wasnt shadow. She was just a moron. At least her first 2 incarnations/versions were morons; rp…and in-person brief-appearances.
Her 3rd version would have to always be as better as her 2nd was…as her 2nd was btr than her 1st.
The 1st hid…and was apparently the fugtard typist…and talked lots of idiot shit, whereas the 2nd was in person, did not rp, let me hear her, opened doors for me, did not talk shit, but was neutral, not truly good, not yet my dreamwife/match.
…
It is healthy i write these truths down,
and smart; it gives the spy/ies something to work with…since she keeps hiding behind the internet.
It also shows me whether they are making those tiny easy efforts to do the simple normal polite things I logically require.
It shows me whether rd/v3 of her is the one for me.
…
normal appropriate reaction: You were so wise and brave and loving in calling out! We are so glad we got to know of you and meet you! What can we do better when we return? When would you like to meet again? Were you feeling alright during those outtings?
HER reaction (retarded): You were rude. “You need to be polite when you meet them.” I was polite. “Sure you were.” = cunt, assuming/defaulting-to the negative, etc., never asked my input, assumed I did all wrong and they did none, didn’t bother to address/acknowledge a single fact. phase1; demonic; bully; gaslighter.

bottom line: you were always there for her, and honest, and she wasn’t there for you -or honest -or even respectful.
You got things right. She got them wrong. At least the 1st 2 versions of her did; rp and in-person.
You literally worshipped her, and she refused to even greet you.
You did everything in your power for her, and she didn’t do Anything other than poorly rp every now and then.
idk why the fuck she even bothered to show up, other than to reveal she is just another asshole moron.

I keep seeing fugs when I go out, so that can only mean I am not meant to interact yet.
Thankfully THESE fugs don’t Try to interact; they stay away.

I only have me-time, so I will make the most of it, maxing my own self-improvement.
I can play games, so I will game to the best of my ability, learning all I can.
My site is pretty much done. Just a few ‘extras’ like ICV-images I CAN upload, but no longer have to.

I thought making the Creativerse subway tunnel was just more pass-time / busy-work / whatever, but it got me the Outfitter circuit I had wanted 🙂
little things
phase2 decency

no matter how looped or nerve-wracking it is for now,
getting in the Corps was a huge win,
getting out of the Corps was a huge win,
scouting the entire nation and much of the world was a huge win,
repeatedly rejecting and dumping rude proto/fail-ambi was a huge win / series of huge wins,
the website was a huge win,
and getting to take months and years off bs-work… to play games and write novels in my underwear… is retiring-early huge-win,
and doing all this withOut the help of the hotties yet… is perhaps the hugest win/bragging-right of all.
etc etc

Tue16may2023
Sooo nice to be back in hyalite…seeing the most beautiful place n the country…and revisiting where i sat w freyja-ish/proto…and where i survived that exhausting hike and saw the galaxy overhead for the first time

Idc that ambi showed up. I care how she beHaved when she did. And how she behaves when she Does.
Idc if sye showed up bc she was annoyed by me, or ordered to, or up to something.
I care if she improves.
I care if she is humble to me, not spoiled/entitled.

Maybe they Can’t learn; maybe they were made such that they can only keep doing the same rude bs…until they r forced to stop/end.
…
I tried actually deifying them…but they didnt me.
I gave the highest respect and transparency and effort. They sat on their asses…in their own realms.
I was myself, and wrote only of good things. They lied and wrote only of bad.
I tried to understand and match them. They kept doing the opposite of me and what i asked.
…
Maybe they were forced to be bad and assume bad…n phase1.
Maybe they were forced to back dn a bot and be pussies n phase2; still evil and annoying and gross, but way weaker.
Maybe n phase3 they will b forced to always do what i want them to.

They seemed hellbent on pressuring me to spawn w someone…
but maybe not necessarily just to eat up my time, or create one more being they could abuse, or even to gain leverage against me…
Maybe it was bc they were brainwashed or just made/engineered to, unable to do anything else/good.

Lol; in 40 yrs, they havent figured out that i always reject rudeness, lies, pressure, scams, extortion, illegitimate authority, fake religion/gods, seduction laced w sexual inappropriateness, etc.
…
I spelled it out for them for decades, answer all questions, posting cheat sheets, being consistent, and they Still failed every time n every realm.

Maybe phase2 was cheap immitations, like that wannabe freyja, and that curly-haired not-Earthships-guy.
Maybe only in phase3 do the Real/Calibrated deities/manifestations show up.

Phase2 has been Lots of theories/speculation, but that is Way btr than n phase1 when all i knew was to memorize the bs of others/NPCs/looped.

It wasnt firsts that spawned hotties; most places i went to…had no hottie at all.
And there is nothing hot about how they behaved, so, technically, No hotties spawned, only moody fakes.
And places i went back to?…they respawned identically, no aging at all.

The fact that the exact same hotties respawned 5 or 6 yrs later…makes me grin, as now i know no matter how old i get, they will look the same; teen/prime.

As far as i know, ambi is the only hottie to appear for me in multiple states.

Many hotties took a while to show up where i stopped; they were Very late. Not okay. Not a good sign.

The fact i maintain my position/honor instd of selling out,
and counter lie to use the liars/users,
and selfcare instd of selfdestruct,
and reject seduction attempts bc only true love is acceptable,
and ignore all cowardly peer pressure,
and ignore all fake authorities,
and stand up to even alleged gods,
and learn instd of parrot,
and am unswayed by even the “rich” (more robot NPCs pretending to be things),
says it all; i am good, pure, stable, destined. sane, healthy, wise, and the best.

The fact i always go for love in writing and video and life formats…instd of the gross drama crap on tv and from the “parrots”…says it all; i am goodness-based.
Amen.

Humans asSume they need giant machines and computers and power supplies to do big things…but that is bc, they do not realize, it is countering their negativity/drain-effect.
Also, they get unpredictable/explosive results…bc they default to trusting in randomness/chaos most.
They fire powerful beams and such, but the beams are not paired with intent.
This is why individuals can telekinetically do things with far less energy; their emissions are paired with intent.
Will/vril.

I never “let myself go”; i kept studying, working, exercising, exploring, posting, updating, praying, trying.
I kept my standards.
Relaxing when there is nothing else to do, and no one answering my prayers, is just de-stressing.

The blackhaired almost-ambi walking out of gym and away from me, back to me… does not symbolize realAmbi now leaving me.
It is a loop/repeat of 2018 at the gym here.
Besides, for anyone to turn their back on me only shows they r either a robot remotecontrolled to be a cunt, or programmed to be a cunt, or an actual cunt; incompatible and useless, bullying, thus Right to be moving away from me.

I gave my best this whole time…
They were the worst, though. Wtf? Why did so many behave as badly as they could get away w?
…
At least it is phase2 now; no more wasting my effort on others who were never worthy.

I deserve the best. I am a hero many times over. And a genius. And a hard worker.
And until i am given the best, and all i asked for and chose, i am done playing/trying/asking/praying.
How it is.
I do what works.

Lol they keep going to Indiana in Stranger Things.
Another softdisclosure?
Another sideways statement about spying on me?
Another lackluster attempt to make me feel like i can relate to ppl?

Jogging resumes : )

Since things seem to work out 1 week in advance now, i suppose i should only seek a new rental on jun13…

Trails still snowy, rain still hail, 364 still not open to me, ambi still not contacting… : (
but it sure is an alignment of signs.

The last rp is happening. : (
but the sooner it ends, the sooner it creates the ‘vacuum’ and gets replaced w better.
Finally.

The first time I saw Stranger Things, it was season 2 and I didnt get it.
This 2nd time, i started frm the beginning, watched all, get it, and found deepfakes that is WONDERFUL. not perfect, but way btr this time.
Rd 3 will be living the adventures iii wrote, and the ICVs and manifestations Way sexier than the actresses.

Deja vu from placing the traditional Chinese residence on the swamp in Creativerse. …how the hell?

I remember the Stranger Things episode where the fat cop escapes in Kamchatka but then gets betrayed and recaptured…
but that is season4, said to be released/aired mid2022; last year…
May 27, 2022
when I was in Indiana, and had no tv, and after Utah when I thought I saw it…
Wtf?

…in 30 days, i find out if she abandoned me once again.
Well, to be fair, i find out if All i called out to…will abandon/betray/fail me again.
Will any of them finally answer and team up?
Will any apologize for all the rude encounters?
Will any healing come?

Even when I posted only compliments and questions about the latest game alpha… an idiot IMMEDIATELY talked shit, misinterpreting it.
Then when all I did was clearly point out I was calm, complimenting, etc., instd of admitting wrongdoing…he talked More shit, lied, And another troll piped up with rude bs.
….how???
How can the humanimals Still be This reTarded?
God and mankind sure are worthless.

If they’d been sane and correct, they either would have ripped into that Troll for going off on Me, or Thanked Me for shutting him/it Down, Not pretended Iii was the one who went off.
Yet again, they gaslight, pretending i was guulty of what only they did.

I can’t keep giving my best…to nobodies who give nothing in return.

That norwegian dipshit is so off; men being inactive isnt the problem. The problem is that men such as me were more active than anyone, yet it resulted in only being ignored or disrespected more.
I have never been inactive just bc i stay productive via hightech tools.
I have never been inactive just bc i was forced to resort to my phone.
All who chose to refuse to team up have been inactive.
Also, the real problem is nonvegan pyschos condescending to heroes like me.

With no teammates…or funding…i have no way to do more than i already am; final touchups on webpages, some reorienting to trails here, etc.
: /
and after 100% proved spoiled, sexist, rude, dumb…i have no interest or motivation to share love.
and w no feedback from any of them, other than that they all refused to have manners, idk who to turn to.
Is this really all there is? Just rude dumb “ppl” and homelessness intervals?

40yrs…was exactly how long it took to realize so much and wrap all up.
But it was also way too long to wait.
Too long to endure only rudeness from the humanimals.
At least i have found countless perfection in just about all areas/fields other than humans.

Almost never finding any healthy cereal, and having to order it, was like calling out and having the wait through the answer delay.
Then…suddenly…without a headsup…I found more than a Dozen healthy vegan cereals, and I loved them all.
I believe this is how it will b w the hotties; they were scarce before, rarely any anywhere, and even rarer were when more than 1 was n the same place, but next… they will be abundant, and I no longer having to call out for them.

Seeing Starman from the beginning now. I wonder if it was destined.

Starman 27:30mark “a lab set up in Madison”.
What is with my 2 trips to Madison…and now hearing it?
Did they just steer me there via the typist…bc they have scanners set up in that shitty aptmt?

2015 to 2020end; 5 yrs.
Oregon 100% w bro. She vibed as Very sad I did not initiate.
Butte ~90% up hill at intersection. She vibed as wanting but scared and knew it was too soon. Maybe sue just wanted/needed to see me.
Possible in Hawaii, posing for me, or having one of her servants pose for me.
AZ motel 100%… Vibed as trying to sound sweet and seem polite, but had been spying on me, and again seemed cowardly or sketchy.
Oceanside 100% wooden coast staircase above public toilets room. Vibed as lure, test, cunty, dark, maybe even trying to offend or make me jealous, as if she took me not engaging… as rude… even though She made me wait over a Decade…and Still refused to say whether it was her.
Vibes never lie.
Behavior doesnt lie.
She may have waited for the right time, and may have given me hope when I was very down, but she only answered 1 of THOUSANDS of cries/calls to her, and she didnt fully answer it.
It all boils down to her seeing my manners as rude, and she not being there for me.
No matter how good her intentions may have been, her typist was scum phys y mentally, and she was useless and typical so far.
And here i am, once again about to be homeless bc of her coldness/immaturity/unreliability.
…
Still, I am proud I chose to be myself and not put up w cuntiness from a fugtard –or cuntiness from a/the spoiled bitch.

Netflix stopped working today even after i got the remote working again.
Netflix And remote stopped om same day.
Interesting alignment.
It stopped me from watching the last few episodes of Stranger Things.
I wonder why…
I hated the show, but it was nice seeing the cute redhead.
And that show almost made me feel like i was socializing/’living’ again.

I want our 4 envisioned children w her.
I want to tuck them in for bed as they grow.
I want to sit with my arm around her to watch a show or movie after work each day.
I want to say my vows to her on the altar.
I want the wedding we planned.
I want the house she said we already own.
I want the life we fantasized together about all these years.
When will my decision and heart be respected, and my life with her granted?
Why so many years waiting?
Really just to wrap up my website/spell/plan?

1st blocks game was Legos and its variants; Duplos, etc., and those I had to be given, and could only play w while living w demonic scum.
I couldn’t keep any of my builds.
…
2nd blocks game was Minecraft and its variants; Creativerse, etc., and that I got for myself, and never seemed to find anyone to play with (other than elitard briefly), and always between the homeless intervals.
It looked bad, but I used it to finish designing Inisfree.
…
3rd blocks game is prob gonna by my sexualized v of Minecraft fused w Creativerse etc., played w my children (ICVs, etc.) and a few fuckbuddies, my Minecraft and Creativerse worlds all linked via Djinnifer somehow.
Its blocks and sky look way better than Minecraft, and I used it to finish designing my commercial air/spaceline.
…
I hate coming up w more Creativerse things to add to my world, but Inisfree is done being designed, and my Creativerse world will by much more fun for my kids to play with me in now that I have added so many buildings and things to find.

Phase2; mixed. New Wild Life server. Just as filled w gross evil deviant bullshit as the first, but the faggots are paying for the development of that game making it so much easier for me to fix/extract it.
There are also still some very attractive screenshots of appropriate CGI sex.
And, like all social media, it draws out the freaks so they can be purged.

2015 to 2020end; 5 yrs.:
Possible in Rockwall TX (2008? 2011?)
OR: Oregon 100% w bro. 2015
MT Butte ~90%. 2016?
HI: Possible in Hawaii. 2017
AZ motel 100%. 2020 end
CA Oceanside 100%. 2021 after eli
…
~5 sightings in as many yrs,
but none in 2022; IN,
or bk in BS/YC, unless gym back-to-me exiting was her.
…
Why an avg. of 1 per year, starting half a decade after I met/wanted…and then none after I was so polite and patient?
Did she really just want another boytoy/worshipper?
Smh
…
Did she have the typist write of smoking irl so often…to see if I would tolerate a little evil, and then slightly worse evils?; branding slaves the wrong way,
lashing out at anyone who loved me,
banning my culture,
threatening to fine, banish, and murder anyone who continued my culture,
pretending pharma was real,
tantrum to be a tyrant,
brazen condescension,
The typist just kept trying worse and worse things until I had no choice but to block it.
It was so weird; claiming she wanted a fam, but doing everything that would alienate Any good man before even Starting a fam…
Fucking phase2 mixes…
…
The typist got worse and worse…but the in-person Ambi got closer and closer…
and she is overdue for an appearance, so…
…
Were the “fight once a year” moments our in-person meetings?; since she refused to treat me right each time?
…
She said we would fight once a year. She didnt say we would be together daily/nightly…
But that was the idiot typist, so…it may still be up to me, not her/it, how often she is with me.

If ambi typist had been good and appropriate, when i was tired and wrote of falling asleep w caitlyn, she would have felt it was wonderful and sweet that i trusted her that much, and she would have been thrilled to be the one to comfort and protect me that night.
But she replied w cunty idiotic immature “is that it?”
So glad i finally re-dumped that asshole.

Telling women they tested and cannot have babies… was an early form of population control; the idiots/overly-submissive assumed it was correct, thus manifested it.
Then telling women to be rude and overly-independent further birth-/population-controlled the masses; it alienated all the wise men who weren’t looking to spend their lives in arguments with useless morons.

that regurgitated bot/troll bullying/bullshit “don’t force it”:
1) assumes I am forcing something,
2) reveals they don’t see the obvious good,
3) is them trying to force/pressure/dominate me to change,
4) assumes force is bad.
etc.

that propaganda claiming if you don’t orgasm during sex, you’ll achieve a “higher state” is yet another pathetic and blatant attempt to start people fighting their own essence/nature/urge/instinct,
and that only stems from evil,
and isn’t based on fact or science or logic or Anything good.
orgasm IS the higher state.
ideal sex IS the higher state; full-bodied oneness/acceptance/attraction/compatibility.
not FORCED/WRONG interaction/sex/orgasm, but natural WANTED orgasm –asSisted.

“when you’re ready, she’ll be there” is yet another sexist anti-male anti-me brainwashing/gaslighting attempt;
I WAS ready,
and it is when SHE is ready Iii will be there.
I’m the one who was smart and loving and patient, not her.
I’m the one who explored the world, looking for her.
I’m the one who let HER come to me.
SHE is the one who chose to keep hurrying by and LEAVING.
and it did NOT vibe as HER giving ME time to do MY work, or her answering my maydays/prayers.
it vibed as her seeing if she could seduce/detour me when I was WEAK.
it vibed as her leaving me when I proved still STRONG.
it vibed as Her not being ready.
every rp… every typo… every tantrum… every dumbass request… every off-putting comment/action.
she was not ready.
so if doc2 had been corRect and Honest and NOT demonic/evil/pathetic/anti-male, he Would have said “When she is ready, You will obviously be there for Her.”

40yrs and they havent improved.
The vegan food has.
The website has.
My knowledge from firsthand travel has.
My novels have.
My computers have.
My collections have.
My computer models have.
My family vision has.
But the humanimals havent. Not one bit. If anything, they are worse. They openly spy, talk more shit, threaten n public, lie more than ever…
Then again, they havent tried assault like they did when i was little.
So…in that sense, they Have gotten better; by backing off, becoming pussies.
…
Anyway, ambi showed me she isnt any btr than them, behavior-wise. (She may be doing this to ensure my work gets done sooner, but her behavior by itself remains terrible.)
I can keep holding my vision for her and us and the rest, as that is the noble and strong and right thing to do, but it doesnt change the fact i am about to be homeless again.
I need another miracle w ahead-of-the-20th timing.
…
I never let go. I am the way, the truth, the life, the rock/foundation, the guide, the prophet, the god.
But i Can relax more and just coast/surf…while holding on.
That will save some good energy to hold on as long as is needed.

Rd/phase1 was me surprised by betrayals and villains…bc they were as bad as can be, and bc i am good, thus my mind didnt imagine such evils.
That is a good sign; means i was and am pure good.
…
Rd/phase2 was them “changing”; saying 1 good thing, then trying or asking for a bad thing…like the typists, and like the writing forum admin tards who kept reversing themselves and so on.
…
So nxt is rd/phase3; they r and vibe forthright from the start, and dont change, and stay pure good w me, and only ask to be relative villains; against My enemies.
Amen

Stranger Things…Steve hair-guy looks like younger Captain Malcolm Reynolds

I was amazingly resilient and determined and steadfast and heroic and romantic for trying for 30-40yrs to be loving and helpful in spite of this humanimal collective that has so far been only the opposite.
And i was heroic when i chose to accept the reality that it was wasted time and energy.
I was heroic for giving up on the truly fucked up and lost humanimals.
Love never worked on them, so i canceled that project.
Still my nature. Still a dream. Still a hope. Just canceled…for now.

I keep hearing the rallying call from within me; “embrace the suck, as long as is needed, push away the cunt/s, so what if i am once more n a vehicle for a bit” etc.
…
and “things keep working out, and getting btr, and btr than i expect each time”
…
and i keep telling ambi “of Course i still love you; you’re my Wife” <3
I just can’t stop loving her.

Half a month left solo here…
then 3 weeks w a person or two, and a dog.
Will they be cool?
That would make them the first decent roommates I’ve had.
This IS phaseTwo; it/they Should be Decent…
But phase2’s theme/trend has been me being able to Leave when humans Keep being bad.
:/
But I came to transition into life w Good ppl…so…surely these will be decent now, even though the job bs “ppl” were looped bad.

Let this 2nd shit-offer pass. The 2nd is the meh. The 1st is the shit u had to endure. U now have the experience to let this pass.

I know i saw that Stranger Things helicopter telekinesis desert scene where the doc dies…
Google claims it aired in july 2022 when i was bk in indiana.
But now i have seen how frequently google posts lies.
So i wonder when it actually aired…or if i saw a sneak peak trailer in 2021 or something.
Maybe during channel surfing…

I never had to complete the website or designs or art/sketches or novels/series; those were phase2 things; just symbolic of me standing up against scum/evil/fools, plus those works of mine were just spells to start things, and the manifestations are perfect, even better than the spells/vision/s, evident in GC-Rain, Ambi-voice, etc., thus my spells are complete enough.
All I’m doing now is overlap/busywork/’extra’… while I wait on those manifestations to return/behave.
phase3 isn’t completing the website uploads or novels writing/editing; phase3 is LIVing with those PERFECT manifestations of/from/thanks-TO the website and books/novels.
amen.

as much as I hate and worry about stuff rn…
I know I would not be a good dad if I was doing these final Creativerse mega-builds that take all day for weeks on end.
I will get this done, then take on no more, freeing myself for the family of my dreams.

as the months keep adding up since that bs “she is coming soon”, I can only hate that lying son of a bitch more.
…
the typist texted “I just want to be loved.” even though I obviously already loved her.
and I told doc2 “I will love her.”
so… why the fuck hasn’t she come? because she didn’t just want to be loved. that was obviously another lie.
she said that to fuck with me.
or the typist did.
whatever.
I loved the idea of her, and would have loved the real her if only she’d had the slightest manners.
I did my part.

while not very interesting or worthy, it is still amusing, ironic, and of note that… “The Great Reset” seems to have reset things back to how they already were. I guess that is why it wasn’t called “The Great Behavior-improvement” or “The Great Change”.
could have also been correctly called “The Great Failures-repeat”

so relieved to have another 2 months arranged/secured a MONTH in advance! things are working out better and sooner.

so nice to finally have a real/proper ‘sammy’ again; vegan deli slices, Dave’s white bread, mustard, salad greens, sliced tomatoes, etc.
nom!

I keep remembering the philosophy: “I will do this now and understand later.”
and
how things keep happening in huge surges/waves after long intervals of pause/silence/rest; my time with realAmbi and the other flawless hotties will, too.
in phase1, I was soft-disclosed them; they were shown to me remotely, always in HUGE ‘tidal waves’ of data/images/rp.
in phase2, they showed up one or two at a time during a HUGE span of world travel.
in phase3, they’ll return on the regular for/to me, and will forevermore, having been perfected, my work completed during the times without/before them.
…so Mayan/Atlantean Schedule; ‘days’ of ideas/shows/reveals/disclosures, followed by ‘nights’ of work/application/next-spells.

5,000 for 1 concert? (more like 5,350 after fees, etc.)… x ~5,000 expected/capacity = $26,750,000 before expenses…
wtf.

proud of myself for once again rejecting an evil/slave-wages ‘offer’.
I always do the right thing 🙂

It took many tries and years for ambi and the others to start appearing;
maybe that’s what it takes to start my family here in BS/YC;
I’ll give it some more time.

“thank god” their faces, hair, and fashion are usually not as deformed/fail as their pussies/clits.

there was always one main thing/theme each year or period of years, everything else failing in spite of my efforts to add balance/wholeness;
1987-1991: ~4 yrs of elementary school
1992-1996: ~4 yrs of middle school
1997-2001: ~4 yrs of JROTC
2003-2007: ~4 yrs of Corps
2009-2013: ~4 yrs of colleges trying / I.T. studies
2016-2020: ~4 yrs of mega-roadtrips/expeditions
2020-2023: ~4 yrs of computer-modeling / new-website
so in 2024, it seems I’ll have a shift to 4 years of … hopefully the start of my family with Ambi.

deja-vu from the clearing for Autumn Castle in Creativerse…
interesting.
:/

The worst-case scenario hasn’t happened;
you haven’t had to work full-time,
you haven’t had to work in a field that doesn’t resonate with you,
you’ve gotten to wrap up your entire life’s-work design/vision,
you’ve stopped trying to force the novels-editing before the foreseen time for it in Inisfree,
your dream-girls have revealed to you they exist and know who you are,
etc.,
so stop worrying about “if they don’t come” or “if you don’t survive”, because you always survive, you always make it to the next step, things always get better, etc..
Do not let the lfb/hew-tard worries / default-panic / worst-case thinking clutter your brilliant mind/imagination.
Even if realAmbi and the others didn’t show, you still accomplished so many of your amazing goals, so the worst-case is impossible now. At worst, it is a much-better-than-the-humanimals-intended-for-you case.
and at best, you get the flawless-hotties such as real-Ambi and real-Sabrina, etc., who make the actresses and models look ugly, they are so fine.

didn’t want to do more Creativerse stuff for a while, but then did tons and love what I did.
now doing the final night-club models in this beautiful game, too.
good times.

ended up logging in at the perfect spot to set world-spawn

found another typo/oversight/error; had Nordrassil instead of Teldrassil on some webpages. fixed 🙂

Shitty condo offer and unfair lease terms refreshed my memory. 6yrs ago i was so depressed to be offered such bs. Now? Numb to it. Not even gonna bother.

Hearing the idiot next door through the window…talking about bigskyevents.com or whatever…and saying “and also”…refreshed my memory of 6 yrs ago; same convo heard thru window…
Ugh.

New level of chili mac: Jack & Annie’s jackfruit nuggets buffalo wings…w butternut mac…and salad bar Whole Foods… : )

Final episode of Stranger Things on

Subways almost all installed in Creativerse. Will be nice to show my children once the hotties behave to have children.

No dejavu on seeing McGregor Forever…or The Witcher show.
At least there is that.

The Witcher s1e1 walk talk…reminds me of Aliss; beautiful height dif, “I want more”, etc.,
…and of “Peanut”, and Callie, and my sled hangout w Jenna H., etc.
… :/

Another birthday nobody gave a shit about.
Fucking phase2.

Why didnt ambi greet me like she RPed so many times?
She never RPed baiting or testing or abandoning me. So why do those things?
Just doesnt make sense.
And now i am here alone all over again.

Anytime I feel lonely or sad or like I am just passing time w games, remember that Minecraft revealed and solved the Uber Hangars and ICGM Theaters count,
and brought Cush to gorgeous life,
and it made the B2L details certain,
…
and Creativerse made the Inisfree Spaceways and Persephone details certain.
…
and EVE lead me to flawless foxgirls.
…
and all took the edge off while helping me design like I do.
Those games proved to be therapy and planning aids and more.
Appreciate them.
They have been right on time, and far more useful than I ever thought.

Search your feelings. RealAmbi was, like the typist, mixed and not loving or sexual enough.
She, like the others, weren’t ready.
They were ready to be presentable, but not ready to interact beyond revealing themselves.

GoodAmbi would be smart and powerful, and respond/react this way to me attracted to our daughters: “You wanna fuck and cum in our daughters? That is so hot! They will love you even more! I am so glad I made them for you! I’ll tell them how to manifest more of your intentions with the cum you give them. I’ll also help train them how to make you cum fullbody energygasm every time. I love you.”

Oh the irony and retardation and typicalness of that bitch telling Me iii was rude to “them” “when they show/ed up” while She talked down to Me,
assumed I was rude,
gaslighted,
lied,
was unhealthy,
ignored my needs,
ignored my maydays,
refused to reciprocate,
never let me know when she was there,
never let me know when she was coming,
and when NO ONE who showed up did anything but stare and leave.
I literally did everything politely and professionally and bravely,
and she and they literally did Nothing politely or bravely or professionally. Nothing.

The Celestine didnt mention that there are times/intervals without signs or help, and that is okay.
I stressed, always wanting and assuming there would be signs and help.
And rn…while i am between signs and loves/ambi-returns, I believe it is the sign to just relax, orient, explore, and enjoy the mountain views.

Some go camping for a weekend or week to recharge. I relocate to bs/yc for months : )

Idk if going out and trying or re-trying all these places is good…or another fruitless waste of my time.
No signs…other than the sign every day that my soul ppl are not here yet : /
At least i love the scenery/location…and wrapped up all my ideas/vision/work.
That is huge.
Very proud.
Just nervous i am being ignored/disrespected/abandoned again : /

It is ‘funny’…how realAmbi and all the others made it easier to give up on them; after how consistently they behaved badly.
Without them behaving, though, there is little to do…
All is just busywork/bs/extra…

After how uniformly all cities and individuals failed 100%, there is no reason to travel unless to conquer and destroy.

There is always a long haul, then a dangled bitch…
There is always the pressure and then the needed relief, often in the form of a relocation.
So all i can do for now, apparently, is waot for this lull/haul to end…and the next bitch to appear and eye me.
So annoying, their sorry kind.

All my instincts keep ‘screaming’ at me not to waste time on the obviously stupid and fake/looped primitive nonvegan boozer fugtards.
The only reason i keep looking up and going to events…is in hopes of finally witnessing good behavior and hearing sane words.
But i have countless examples of the opposite, thus no evidence my persistence will ever pay off.

It is weird putting so much effort into Creativerse after the Inisfree design is complete.
I suppose i still could model the remaining clubs, though…

It is weird building up Creativerse for visitors, when the only ones I would want to play it with are the children I can only have w the hotties who have yet to behave or demonstrate any good wife/mother qualities.

I can’t keep hoping and holding on…when this species remains so entrenched as worthless assholes and gaslighters.
I just wish i could quake or nova them all to hell.

‘Funny’ how so much is perfect here, yet still zero ppl who are…or even passable.

I was right to return here; the scenery calms and uplifts and awestikes me every day.

Wave of jrotc,
Wave of corps,
Wave of random jobs,
Wave of colleges,
Wave of travel,
Wave of site re/building,
Wave of rp,
Wave of computer modeling,
Now wave of rest?
There will come a time when the wave is of my “soul tribe”; my dreamgirls/goddesses.
Remember: the military flickered on for years; jrotc, field trips, trng, medical, missions, etc.,
thus it is reasonable to believe/project returns and more each time of the hotties,
just as was the case w colleges until i got my degrees.

It doesnt matter that all have behaved evilly so far.
What matters is i embrace my nature/instinct to have the right family, not settling for freaks along the way.

After all the bad, i might suspect anyone who sees the good in all i do…
but i will know the vibes, so all will work out.

Me making myself go to events…is phase1 push.
Me calming bk dn and aborting b4 engaging at the lame events…is phase2 chill/monk/self-stabilizing.
When my chosen return and praise me, making events just for me, that is phase3 pull.
Be man enough to wait for that.
Whether it manifests or not, be man enough to not force yourself into unsatisfying incompatible passtimes along the way.
Wait for the pull.
Wait for Them to call/reach out for Me.

Packed early; vehicle squared away before any issue w a humanimal.
Another good sign i am staying more and more ahead of the game.
And that i have more and more time to sort things and prepare.

In phase1, i was forced to all events, and to shit jobs.
In phase2, i have learned to do my own things, and look for signs, and abort when good signs do not come.
It is not fatigue or cowardice, but experience and wisdom, what i do now, avoiding the incompatible.

Being alone this long showed me valuable things;
1) what my natural cycles are,
2) how my ideas get completed rightly,
3) that some in multiple states aren’t just bad, but looped,
4) when and why I worry, and that which mitigates and stops my worry; the keys to control my emotions better,
5) the fact my sex drive remains high/normal, even after all the wrongs,
etc.
I would not have known my holy/natural cycle/schedule if not for all that time alone to learn/know only myself.

It is a nice fantasy/thought, that my hotties/chosen crave me just as much as i have craved them…

This month and year have ‘flown by’. I have been back in bs half a yr already. Wow.
Just need and get to stay this time.
…
Rmbr: even though there r some fakes/dipshits here, there were n all the cities i tried, and this one has the best scenery, thus is right to stay in. Things were no btr socially anywhere else.
Stay.

It is scary being here where food is not grown nearby, but most cities were like that, and it is good practice for antarctica etc.

So over the Discord toxics/negatives. They r so draining. What losers.
But that still works n my favor; i had no need for them, and them being annoying losers ensures i avoid all that.
It was a time-sink, anyway.
I just want to meet positive successful sane ppl.
I deserve to.
Every one i met in person and online should have been that.

They had 40 years to get the basics right, and i spelled it out for them that whole time; girls of normal size and demanor, and apologize for the lies on my record, and fix the errors in the system.
So easy, so simple, so common sense.
Yet they relentlessly chose rudeness and laziness and excuses and offering the opposite of what i stated/asked.
Smh.
How i look forward to the cataclysms that end them.

There never should have been a single chick taller than me,
or a single deviant from my way,
or a single rudeness,
or a single troll,
or a single nonvegan anything,
or anyone disloyal to me,
or anyone trying to pressure or intimidate or dominate me.
Not one.

There were a thousand different things worth dumping and blocking that typist for. Any one of them was reason enough. Same goes for the behavior and timing and company of the one in person.
I did the right thing.
I would have been far more upset With that cheap immitation of the woman who is right for me.

It is so much better in this decorated 1st-floor… (less depressing than that murder-skulls insult-barn)
and returning/incoming roomies could be a sign; btr ppl returning.

Good ppl wouldnt try to give me as little as possible, or just walk on by, or test me when i have already proven myself, or see my manners as rudeness.
Good ppl will offer me all i want and more. Good ppl will value me. Good ppl won’t care about my résumé or the lies in the system about me.

That ambi who showed up was phase2; neutral; mixed; useless. Had i tolerated her bullshit/cowardice, i would have been stuck with it for decades or life.

I told that retard many times i am vegan, my city is vegan, etc., and what did it do? RPed making scrambled fucking eggs. That is as heartless, stupid, lazy, disgusting, and evil as it gets. So sick of the losers that ruined Discord and basically everywhere else I checked.

after the uniform-awful behavior and diets and mindless parroting I encountered in all places I went,
I couldn’t be more turned off to the humans.
at least I have my work, and passive income, etc.

All remaining night-clubs now being framed for computer-modeling.

…

The Age of Adaline movie on Netflix. No deja vu. And about a girl w my daughter’s name who doesnt age. Jewlywood template of course fucked it uo w deathcult/chaos/accident bs, but still.
Neat.

Even w the deja vu, it still is great to be adding final vision images from modeling my nightclub ideas.

Amazing how all my worries go away when i am watching healthy pretty girls be loving.

Maybe those Ambis were manifestations of previous years’ spells sums; maybe waiting…keeps causing her to be updated by my newer spells.

I never went too fast; I made correct assessments as quickly as I spotted unforgiveable evils such as murder/rape-“food”, queers, disobedient bitches, religtards, pharma parrots, etc.
The moment i saw anything not vegan or good to me, I knew it was time to move on.
Things didnt manifest better when i stayed, and i never should have Had to stay or wait. Those, too, were signs.
The Celestine book never mentioned that, for a while, Everyone i met would b like the military turds the characters avoided.

Amazing how stupid that bitch was to think i would go for stupidity, rudeness, lies, unfairness, etc.
Did she really retardedly think i would spend my life with an arguer instead of a compatible?? Lmao

‘Funny’ how they say women change; she didnt; she stayed just as rude and useless that whole time. Not even good for good rp/texts. 13/+ yrs and she didnt get btr. And she didnt change by going bad; she just waited until then to reveal it.

You’d think they’d figure out by now to be polite, not try to dominate me, not make up fake gods, and to come clean about their lies, and to pay me appropriately, …but they never were any good at thinking.

The madison beer deepfakes are gorgeous <3
So glad when instincts and digging are rewarded.
Too bad it had tard facepaint (makeup), but it was still hot enough to help me nut well.

Welp, here i am again. Bloodline ends unless i get ambi, 364ande, my city, and so on. What’s it gonna be, gods?????

40 years in and counting,
and the humanimals are still at 1% vegan,
1% hot (but 0% when factoring in their manners and beliefs),
0% manners,
0% awareness of reality,
0% justice,
1% tithing/donations.
Imagine getting straight 1s and zeroes on your tests in school; that is as close to just skipping school as it gets.
That is total failure.
Literally getting everything wrong.

If i had modeled Angels Allure b4, the screenshots would already be in my pc or on its webpage.
The deja vu must be coming from a similar build long ago…
I certainly made years of builds, big ones, hollow cylinders, colored floors, closed ceilings, etc. …

The room cleaned out (most stuff re-packed) vibes sooo much better. Feng Shui for the win.

pretty retarded fucked up that that guy said “merrrccyyyy” anytime he heard someone saying cuss words,
yet was totally fine spawning monsters and funding murder/rape-food.

“just wants to fuck everything” shows how retarded that loser kid was, and how he did zero ‘homework’;
I literally can’t stand 99% of people, and would only even conSider fucking <1% of them,
thus the polar opposite of “everything”; practically Nothing.

I just realized that any/every time jewlywood has sexy females doing anything violent, they are being gay/anti-female; it is unnatural/backward to have sexy females not doing sex/sexy stuff.
They are trying to make them mindless killers, masculine, etc.
All actresses should be enraged/ashamed of such roles/writing.

I always seem to get great ideas right after nutting. Interesting.
I get great ideas under many circumstances, but definitely often/always after orgasm.

Faced w the possibility that all of them were scum, none going to help, and many actually brainless; looped robots…
I now make ready to be homeless once again.
All prices here are artificially impossibly high.
No one has offered fair help.
I keep having to spend all I have…just to stay sheltered and fed.
Ugh.
At least I am able to keep working on the final leg/bits.
That is something.

Idk how I can ever love ppl of this world after all theyve done and not done…
That would take the miracle of good vibes for the first time.

And i wouldnt dare make new living beings w any of these traitors and fools and punks…
Even if i met the only good ones who may be here, i would need total loyalty and control and riches to homeschool and protect my offspring; more miracles.

40 years of mistreatment, injustice, and sacrifices…
Smh

Why couldnt any of them, the thousands of them, think and say, “You are clearly brave to keep doing things on your own.”,
“I really appreciate how polite and patient you are.”,
“I am so glad you like the way I look.”,
“Your self-control is amazing.”,
“What can I do better?”,
“It makes me so happy to finally meet you.”,
“Yes, you were right all along about us being real.”,
“We monitored you from afar, so now we will let you have your turn observing us as mich as you like.”?
But they said Nothing.
They vibed as bad, and got moody whether I talked or not, and I was genuinely doing all I could to be nice and helpful and respectful every step of these last 40 years.
What. The. Hell.

Reaching out for them and jobs…never worked.
So I stopped both.
All I can do, apparently, is wait for them to call out for me.
I dod so much work for free or abysmal pay; it is time they work for free for me.
Actually, it is time they pay for any time with me, whether I am working or not.

So sick of seeing all these expensive unused extra homes full of evil symbols.

Thousands and thousands of examples of love and hope and togetherness and healthiness all over my website.
So many ways ppl can interact w me.
Countless examples of me being loving and consistent and heroic and honorable.
…so why has no one done any of those yet?
Why do they always show up covered up, barely identifiable, vibing as lures and cunts and evil?
The slightest manners and fairness ans respect would get them all yes-es.

So once I make computer models showing the last night club designs I instinctively wrote about…do they manifest like ambi and the others did, perfect?
And what then? Do I finally get to enjoy them regularly?
I sure don’t want to do anymore designing or computer work…

I wonder how much it will rain when I finally get all the relief I have been hoping for all these years,
and how beautiful the fluffy-clouds blue-sky will be when I feel totally content with my loves.
: )
and how beautiful or relief-rainy the sky will be when I have children with my loves, and when they all prove loyal and respectful to me, washing away all my logical concerns caused by the bad ones before.

When my best effort and manners and discipline and actual heroism… still get nothing but more silent-treatment bs, there really is no motivation or reason to continue putting any effort into anything at all –other than into my vision/spell/work.
So that is what I did.

It never mattered what “rules” or system others had; I am king, and I will only accept those who see me as king, just as I always chose to see the worthy as leaders such as goddesses and queens.
They will just have to learn to live by My rules.
I am king.
And they should love that fact.
And defend it.

After how badly i was treated by locals in iraq and israel, i wish i’d killed more.
Absolute black-eyed soulless monsters.
And extra shame on all their lines after that garbage nutsacktits cunt they let meet me.
Shame of shames, they are.
All except for one; the djinn lady atop Petra. : )
She was good.

After how I was treated in every realm, I am going to be especially cold, negligent, and brutal as soon as I get power.
I will poison as I was poisoned.
There will be no trials.
All fines will be extreme.
All families broken apart as mine was.
All their sleep interrupted.
They will be constantly threatened and insulted.
Only those who love worshipping me will have good lives.
My way will be the law and forced on all who are too primitive to like it.

Tips and Tres, not a single healthy food, not a single hottie, not a single hello.
The signs remain lame for now.
Standing by to be alone and cold in my vehicle again… 2.5months.
Whatever.
Fuck this world.
All there was was work.
…
Phase2: 2 places…walked to each twice…and both were fails. For the 2nd time; since 2018.
Guess I was meant to sleep normal hours again.

Jesus, the music is shit/depressing at Tips rn.

Talking and not talking got same results.
Picking up and not picking up got same.
Waiting and not waiting got same.
Calling out worked randomly and only 1% of the time.
So I quit.
Smh.

Land Before Time. Finally a decent fam movie on Failflix.
I should be watching it w my 4 little ones w Ambi, though…
They should be falling asleep on us as we finish it.
Neveah should be clinging to me, I then kissing her little hand and forehead reassuringly.
Then again, this movie has deathcult bs, and assumptions about dinos…
I wonder what movies i will watch w them…
I wonder if… : (
How i wish ambi and the others would communicate with me and do this already.

How i hate the possibility that vaxtards made my food.
If only it came magically to me, manifested, never touched by such scum.

All fugs at both bar restaurants…and the kitchen closed at the one…stopped me from tolerating the nonvegan bs. And tongue on the menu? And crickets? Sick fucks.

Deja vu from the big poodle running at me, and i opening my arms to it, and it stopping. Last time it made me sad. This time, just numb to it and barely caring at all.

Cooking and floor napping and couch dozing during movies as much as i can…bc things come n waves…and i know i won’t be comfortable or able to do this around the owner… : /

Will Every Creativerse club framing give me deja vu?

So nice to find half my club pages already had the Creativerse album section copied and pasted in.

Were they appearing for me to give me hope when i was weary?
They didnt; it made me wearier every time all they did was appear and leave.

The Gray Man agent Dani Miranda pb Ana de Armas made me smile bc it reminded me of my cute little and lethal ICVs.

Another club designed, webpage updated. 4 dozen to go.

Took ana de armas to level/phase2 just now : )
I always reject retarded pointless violence and unnaturalness, and seek out and find and improve and perfect natural love.

It never matters what makes freaks who are incompatible with me feel good.
What ppl Should he focused on is doing what makes Me feel good.
Anything else/less is unnatural, sociopathic, unholy, etc.

Had another relaxing delicious healthy perfect meal. They r common now.

Working overtime, nights, weekends, holidays, birthdays, etc. for a decade or more now. Nothing shows as much commitment and consistency. My work ethic is stellar.
The first payoff has been that i found a way to fund me doing all that.

Napping midday after months/seasons unable to. So nice : )

“Too fast”/”slow down”?
Maybe i shpuld have gone even faster; every time i conversed, it was useless.
I might have been able to screen/critique and orient to another dozen nationa or so.
I’ll go at My speed from now on.
It has worked.

Picnic didnt exist, and refreshed memory of same outcome in 2018 at 320 hotel.

Found healthy Dave’s bagels and another/new vegan bagel brand near.

Smiled as I looked at the winding dirt and gravel roads up the green foothills to the mountains, marveling at how I once again live in a place more beautiful than WoW, and like being in a fairy tale.

Bright rainbow on way back, seen from turn in to rental. First one seen since coming bk here this year. Beautiful and made me smile, but what is the point if no loves? Maybe just to be what it is; pretty.

Thank fucking god no deja vu on Romancing the Stone. Too bad it has gay deathcult bs in the first scene, followed by a fug.
Whatever.
Numb to it.

Healing took longer bc no surgery, and i didnt know if i would, but i healed.
Boot camp took twice as long, didnt know if would make it, but did.
College took longer bc i went to many and went back for higher degrees, didnt know if would graduate, but kept graduating.
Montana took longer, too, but i kept making it back.
Likewise shall be my marriage w ambi and the others i instinctively chose.
Likewise shall be antarctica and inisfree; took longer than i originally hoped, but i kept at it and got it.
Amen.
(and they won’t end like phase1 things, or blink on and off like phase2 things. Maybe that is why she waited; so she will be a phase3 thing; always and forever with me)

Jupiter Jones movie is way btr than i thought it would be. Netflix somehow got 1 thing right.

Lol the worry that “ambi” wasnt hot, but an ursula in disguise…
She certainly acted like one…and showed up as one in Indy…twice…

Royalty isnt what the mindless looped humanimals claim, but what i say. Royalty is entirely based on who is compatible with Me.

Finally cleaned out my ears. Holy crap; needed it.
Didnt fix the 2 issues, but certainly feels and sounds btr

I keep feeling like i dont want to do any more computer work, but i keep making myself do it, and i keep feeling relieved and proud and impressed w the results.

I am now bonded on every level w every girl i see is a hottie; they now always do what i want them to, and shall always look teen and prime etc., and understand and love that i am high king and god of deities.

My angel-name tattoos don’t summon or invoke or channel them or their traits; they r just stepping stones and reminders and enchanted rune art, etc.; i am greater than even Azarel and Naberius. Amen.
My blood/instinct knows it is now time i realize they r My ‘children’/subordinate-officers.

apparently all there is/was in this lame world/civilization/time-period is being ignored and treated rudely,
and isn’t it funny how when I politely disconnected and prevented rudeness, I got treated further rudely; accused of being the rude and uncompassionate one. lmfao.
they really can’t stand a taste of their own medicine.

when i went looking for jobs, i was always given shit offers.
maybe by waiting and requiring others to come to me, i can command appropriate offers for once.

I hated repeating some stuff… and re-watching movies… but Jupiter Ascending really helped me polish up / perfect her dossier/spell/webpage.

The incoming looks like “isis”v2 :/
Hopefully that means tolerable/neutral/sane.

Apparently there r 3 of each chosen/hottie; the typist/crone/retard/crap v,
then the one who appears multiple times…similarly to how I visit their webpages for multiple updates/upgrades,
and finally the perfected/healed-by-my-spells ones who speak to me and explain and apologize and stay with me.
…
I now look forward to when those good (rd3) versions of whom i saw…make it here to me.
…
I certainly will feel better when the ambi who is right for me; looking just like az and CA ambi…but also being as nice to me and fair and open as she was sexy-looking…comes here to introduce herself and start our lives tgthr.

How i want this rental to end…by being replaced ahead of schedule with my love/s and 364ande’.

Ending up witnessing the looped ppl, jobs, states, etc. …and that their memories were wiped or reset…isnt necessarily to be interpreted one way or another, or reacted to differently this 2nd time around. I choose to see it objectively; it simply is another surprise, and an opportunity to again demonstrate consistency with my instincts/values.

When the nightclub models are done, the rest is just optional/passtime uploads.
I may switch to all-day fitness.

Curious how almost everything is perfect now; my vision,
website,
location,
air,
vegan meals,
quiet,
sleep cycle,
honor,
vehicle,
planned expeditions,
ICVs directory,
…
but still not the ppl. Then again, ambi and the others Did show up Looking perfect…so they r on the right track.
Hopefully they adore and worship me for devoting myself to them even years b4 they could b with me.
Maybe that is why they came and keep coming.

If that rd1 ambi hadnt been a gaslighting demon, she/it would have said I went at the right speed, and the Others were going too fast; too fast in their assumptions,
too fast in their judgments,
too fast in their rudeness,
too fast in their leaving me in passing,
too fast in concluding politics and pharma lies are true,
etc.

Humans have so far only forced me on/out, so this next one may be that same type of catalyst/sign… :/
All i can do is wait and see.
I wish i could command or will or write them as behaving sanely, but…it hasnt worked yet.
I guess my power just needs to build…
and/or my spells need a little more time to finish manifesting.

“What’s yours will be yours without trying” sounds like lazy propaganda and an attempt to get me to stop being my initiating self.
It also is wrong for not saying what is mine.
It also is wrong for giving advice instead of asking for advice from me.

Maybe it wasnt i who needed to see Her… Maybe it was they who needed to see Me.
…
And maybe they havent shown lately…bc i havent needed them; i’ve needed time to finish my wrap-up.
…
Still… :/

My days r still so busy/jam-packed with the final edits/perfections; as much as i want my loves to be here with me, i know i wouldnt have time for them, so it would be pointless. :/

I have seen things always come in waves.
My fitness will, too.
So will my happiness.
So will justice; me finally getting my rule/reign.

During childhood wave, friends blinked on and off.
During the military wave/period, travel blinked on and off, as did art.
During colleges wave, babes blinked on and off.
During the travels wave, rentals blinked on and off.
During the upcoming destined babes wave, I believe expeditions will blink on and off.

Ambi and the others should easily have figured out that i was abused, wisely cautious, and exemplarily polite and patient. They should have easily figured out to just ask me things instd of assuming. They should have easily figured out to introduce themselves so i will know it is them, not just random cuties.
Did they?
Will they?

I need them to want and defend and fund me as much as i gave my all to/for them.
I need them to hate and annihilate the same things i cannot stand.
I need them to be as eternally loyal to me as ambi typist and i wrote our characters/selves as being.
I need them to not change from that.
I need them to be my co-foundation.

Another unexpected wave of final updates and some of the sexiest art I have ever found.

No deja vu on The Right Stuff; only saw the trailer for it b4.

Fug after fug here :/
So far i have only seen 2 hottties n this valley; the nina v who hurried into her yc mansion in 2014…and the aviator glasses hottie by Blue Moon in 2018ish.
Lame.

I’ve been trying to rmbr what i was doing bl n 2018 when first i tried to relocate here. Tonight, going through my blog dates reminded me; that was the year i migrated my site to the current one, and started its blog, posting dozens of articles.
Definitely no loop There; i havent blogged at all, this time in bs.
All i have done is the Creativerse wrapup, etc.

3s. 1st site was uscmc.
2nd was tnh.
3rd is the current one.

per·vert
verb
/pərˈvərt/
alter (something) from its original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended.
and/or
a person whose sexual behavior is regarded as abnormal and unacceptable.
…
so that means all the people I’ve met so far are pervents,
and anyone who thought I was one was actually one themselves.
pretty pathetic, god/humankind.

she got more and more abusive over time,
she was not there when I needed her,
she refused to greet me,
she stopped responsing when I stood up to her evil/lies/bullshit,
she blameshifted,
she defended the deathcult,
and on and on and on.
she was toxic from the start.
she never displayed any loving/normal qualities.
I was never able to count on her.
when I was ready and went to her, she was not there.
once again, I am on my own here.
sure, I am MAKING it work out; productive use of my time, but that has nothing to do with her.
most likely: she isn’t ever coming back, because I refused to put up with evil.
I am on my own.
I won’t be able to get into my dreamhouse.
god won’t answer my prayers.
things won’t get easier.
this is phase2; things are obviously MUCH better, but she still shit the bed for YEARS.

All girls I see as sexy default to preferring exactly me and my cock’s dimensions, as they r completely filled by it, ideally stretched, unable to painlessly take more, and not satisfied by less than me.
Amen.

Still so mad about that “she is coming soon” bullshit. That was lied a Year ago.
Soon does not fucking = more than a year.
But
at least that asshole also said “you have a lot of work to do. She will be there when you are ready.” That was still way out of line, none of his business, but at least it wasnt the blatant “soon” lie.
Smh

Still can’t believe how completely wrong and out of line they all were, so consistently, so unprovoked…
Still can’t believe how they turned me off 100% to their entire species.

All of them should have been fit and normal and good and asking me what they can do better.
Zero should have looked and acted like they all did.
They shouldnt have needed to aso for common sense guidance, but they at Least should have defaulted to “what can we do better?”
Never once did they ask that, care to, or even think to.
Unbelievable.
Only pure useless evil behaves and thinks and looks as they did.

If I could go back and change any of my decisions, I would not;
I was academic,
active,
adventurous,
artistic,
ascertive,
aware,
brave,
calm (more than most in my situations I think would have been),
charitable,
creative,
daring,
dedicated,
eclectic,
eloquent,
empathic,
enduring,
focused,
fun-loving,
gentle,
giving,
grateful,
hardworking,
honest
hopeful,
independent,
informing,
innovative/inventive,
just,
kind,
leading by example,
loving,
musical,
myself,
natural and nature-embracing,
observant,
organized,
outdoorsy,
patient,
peaceful,
pioneering,
quiet (respectfully),
respectful,
reverent,
self-controlled,
self-reliant,
self-validating,
specific,
studious,
timely,
‘transparent’,
uniform,
vegan (as soon as I learned),
verifiable/verified,
well-read,
well-rounded,
well-traveled,
wise,
young at heart,
etc..
I held all to the same easy fair standard of fitness and forthrightness,
and I let others decide if/when to come to Me.
I said what I like and request, and waited for it.
I did all I could to explore, learn from all, and find the best environment for myself.
I tipped well even when financially struggling.
I tried many career fields and schools.
I worked many jobs to fund my own dream/s.
I blocked only liars and toxic fools.
I have wanted fairness and a good family all along.
Even when miserable and scared, I made myself keep learning and working.
Even when it risked my life, I pursued my goals and stuck to my values even across lands and seas.
Those who chose to refuse to honor or speak to me… are not anyone I would want different or better results from if it meant me changing my honorable logical good approach I maintained all this time.
It was paramoint that I stayed consistently my polite self through it all, as every time I tried things their way… I still got mistreated, and arguably far worse than when I kept my distance and waited on good signs.
Sure, I am still on my own right now, but I have used that to my advantage, and remain fully open and ready to start my family when the right woman I chose chooses to unite with me.
Maybe those before dislike or misunderstood me.
Maybe I will not see them again.
But I chose to be and remain my good self, so I know only those who are bad are not with me now, and only those who are good will return and explain that time we were apart.
Will I remain alone and struggling? I hope not.
Either way, I know I was right to stand my ground and keep speaking the truth.
I know I was right to stop over-tolerating and chasing.
I know I was right to reject all attempts at dominating me.

Isolating saved my sanity.
It is a good sign i never wanted to, and a good sign i was strong and smart enough to after all attempts at goodness were rejected by the toxic loser civilization.
Also a good sign: i remained strong and smart enough to Stay isolated while it was proving healthful, with intervals of attempts at finding sane ppl.

Creativerse is 20 groups of claims wide
x 8 claims per group width
x 64 blocks along a claim side
which is 10,240 blocks from one side of the map to the other
…
^2 for map (“world”) area
which = 104,857,600 blocks
…
x255 build height
which = 26,738,688,000 blocks (volume)

More pale hairs… :/
I guess it is awesome i stayed good this long, always choosing right and rejecting lies.
Still, i wish i was meeting compatible ppl from here on : (
I deserve friends and family and a life after all that hard work and endurance.

Such a fucked up set of opposites;
she was real for so long, maybe all along, and knew exactly where I was and would be, and could meet me anytime, but only chose to a few times, and each of those times refused to speak to me,
while I wanted her for over a decade, and could only text, then made many attempts to go to her, but never knew where to go.
…
Same w the others, but on my mind more w her…bc she at least texted and made her intercepts obvious.
The rest just walked by, not obvious at all.

Focusing on 1 thing at a time has helped, but I know I should have been helped, funded, allowed to have a work-life balance.
Yeah, I BARELY GOT funding, but through a disgusting evil system I never should have had to put up with.

Why would they all let me be worn down this much, and never prove to me I can trust them, and sabotage/jeopardize their own chances of being w me like their appearances suggest they want?

Even though seeing the dyke-haired scumbag retard at the gas station today was disgusting and uncalled for, it was a big improvement that i got/chose to go tye other way this time, sparing myself its verbal diarrhea and lie parroting.
It was also useful intel; never use that station at that time.

Still blows my mind how they revealed they r real…and had kept n shape…and seem to have gotten dressed up well…and knew it was me…and timed their rendezvous…only to freeze up or be sexist or otherwise incompatible.
All that trouble…
All those attempts…
Always to sabotage themselves, blameshift to me, leave me hangin…
Were they all really just destined to reveal they are idiots?
They didnt vibe as intelligent or polite.
They vibed as expectant and stubborn and cunty and heartless.
And that matches their civilization and laws etc.
Not good.
But the best sign of all is that i always reject such horrible approaches/manners.

I guess it make sense she became a coward after centuries of dealing w the scum i have only had to deal w for decades.
Maybe she had resorted to rp for the same reason o was forced to resort to porn.
But the bottom line is she is no queen or goddess or force to be reckoned with if she is somehow prevented from calling and meeting and living w me.
At fucking least let me know she is still alive and interested and returning at a certain time…and why it took this long…and why she used an asshole as her typist.
Maybe this is to see how i choose to carry on when it seems i am alone and hopeless, but still.
I have proven disciplined and productive long enough.

Before, i wondered what else there was to learn, then discovered more in intervals and waves.
Now, i wonder what could ever make me trust or want or love their kind again…so i hope that, too, will be pleasantly surprised away.

How can i feel attracted to anyone after how everyone has treated me?

Why are my great traits and works not celebrated?

Still so much to do; dozens of club models, and phone calendar notes, etc. :/
I definitely am “doing this now and understanding later” :/
I *get to do this.
I am very/definitely grateful for that.
But oh how i want to switch to decades of all-day in Inisfree and all-night-and-Sundays w ambi and our four kids.
I want to be spending as much time w them and inisfree as i have been spending designing it at my laptop.

final day of May 2023
weather is chilly, rainy; lovely
but days like today are, for now, best for me wrapping up the last of my edits/work.
today, I decided to get new business cards
and to remove a lot of the stuff I had on the old/previous card/s;
I’m focusing even more, making it that much easier to understand what I do.

As much as I wish they had said hi and traded contact info, I wouldn’t have had time or reason to use it yet.
I haven’t even had time for fitness.
Or showering.
Or some meals.
Or regular sleep.
So I need to keep improving my emotional self-control, not being mad at them or how it has been so far.

I wish ICVs and Djinnifer had been helping me design, model, prototype, and manufacture/mass-produce my ideas by now,
but it still is cool and badass I did that myself, and that anyone can check them out (in mc/creativerse) before going to my realm.

The rainstorm here and thunder are wonderful; sheets and hanging gray cloud bottoms, just the right breeze and cool temperature, the sound of droplets splattering all around, perfect for copling off and calming down.
It reminds me of how ambi typist used to ask me to help her feel safe and calm again during scary storms, and how she reminded me to cause lightning once or twice, whenever I was moody.
It reminds me of how I did cause lightning at least once, even as a child, even before I uad any idea I could, let alone how. Even when I was just upset, I nearly disintegrated one of the fakes/demons with ease, zero fatigue.
: )
Am I related to Thor or Zeus? Am I one of them? Am I blessed or empowered by them?
…I wish I was comforting real Ambi as my wife right now…just a few minutes up the road from here; in our chosen cabin, 364.
How I would ‘melt’ and breathe and adore to sit with my arm around her on our porch or couch, listening to the rain, somewhat like the tsb demon/tard once did in that garage, only without the staggering pussy beta bs he/it always was.

Another tv series I don’t care about…to pass the time :/

I get the idea/feeling that beautiful light brown woman in black pajamas at the countryside roadside in Italy was Lillian revealing to me she is real.

yet again, got a little worried/frustrated about still doing this work,
but got a huge wave completed for the Colonies webpage,
and for Ideal World,
and the nicknames of Persephone’s crew members
🙂

Slight deja vu when placing the Eye of Sauron tower on the matted-needles north coast in Creativerse.
…
No deja vu about staying here long enough to meet the dog.

Friday 2 June 2023: once again, felt frustrated and worried, but then relieved and impressed when I found the sex-terms vocabulary list, especially because of this unplanned/unexpected massive wave of an update/edit/completion; reading through the entire thing for the first time (zero deja-vu), making appropriate corrections, removing gross BS, copying relevant portions of it to other webpages, etc.

I just wanted a circus tent for that Creativerse area, but I ended up happening upon a badass Colosseum blueprint that basically saved me MONTHS of designing and building and editing the Vatican II arena I had in mind. It got built in SECONDS.

It keeps occurring to me that somehow some humans have created the illusion that I didn’t really do all I imagined and wrote; all I wanted to do, especially when I wrote about it, may have actually happened.

And just like that, as quick as ripping off a bandaid, i had a roommate after years without one, and a dog for touch comfort, and had to curb my cussing, and reduce my time at the desk, and spend every day outside for hours like I wanted and Montana deserves.

The difficulty in getting just a drivethrough pass to GNP is just a gentle sign it is time to do much more than re-drive it, and that is aligned with what I wanted, anyway; hike, camp, etc.

“Why won’t you talk to them?”
Because they were not who and what we RPed.
They were not what I asked for.
Some were too tall.
They just looked at me.
They vibed as cocky.
They did not say it was them.
They showed up randomly, unannounced, unscheduled, uninvited.
You said they don’t know it is me, but they definitely did.
They did not honor my culture in any way.
I offered manners and love every time, and got none of that back.
Too many times, I gave my best, and got only garbage in return.
I already felt lonely or alone. Every interaction with them left me also feeling shocked and enraged. I’d rather just be lonely of that is the only choice.
Their kind has an unbroken history of rudeness, dishonesty, betrayal, and crime.
I have none of the power or leverage all attempts at interaction uniformly taught me I need.
I am spiritually exhausted after millions proved degenerate, disgusting, heartless, and insane. What motivation or reason is there to sibject myself to more?
I communicate a lot more nonverbally.
If they had even the most basic manners and kindness, I would have eagerly talked to them all.

is this person another fake/robot?
is it a servant of real ambi?
is it ambi in disguise?
an illusion of ariel?
who knows. who cares. i just want to get into 364 and start my family.
show me ambi will treat me right at last, and is smart enough to protect our babies from the blatant murderers at/in pharma.

mike’s dumbass verbal diarrhea and black soul-less eyes negativity-radiation bs:
“that’s just how girls are” …?
um, no; that’s just how untrained uneducated immoral lazy degenerate failures-at-life are.
that’s how the “girls” who you got used to whoring yourself to as a bartender of alcoholics/boozers are.
that’s how non/anti-females are.
that’s how the scum of the Earth are.
anyone can be educated and trained. some are naturally so mature and aware that they don’t even need training to be better than that rock-bottom baseline you think is a universal constant.
you never bothered to manifest anyone/thing good.
you never bothered to make an effort.
you just catered to anyone, letting the slimiest nobodies define your view of “reality”.
girls are many different ways; there are many different people on this world.
learn obvious facts, dipshit.
stop giving wrong “advice”.
smh.
typical fucking pussy beta “male”.

if she really meant I’d be a great father, why the hell hasn’t she shown up?

–
Memory refresh.
Last time i parked here, i had tried sidewinders mozz squares…and didnt like them.
This time? Green curry w tofu from that decent upscale asian place ahead.
Improvements.

Memory refresh.
Sweet chili asian bistro. Last time…i was solo…and that asshole w hos kid was smirking at me, asking me what i thought of my order, and i said it was perfectly paired or something.
This time, just avoiding that bs…and numb to ambi and the other’s.
Phase2.

Final halfday b4 i have a roomie again. Hopefully this one works well until Ambi returns to me. Fingers crossed.

I fucking hate that i am getting messages on discord and phone from ppl i didnt ask for and dont want, instd of messages from ambi and my other loves asking when they can reunite w me, etc.
Fucking world.
Fucking in-btwn.

Thank god i have my own bathroom here at least

That was the most fucked up thing ever, texting “we already own it”, then leaving me in fugtard indiana and down the slope when i by myself managed to drive all the way back…again.
Might as well have been that “600M” cunt from my forevergreen season.

I didnt know or declare ambi or the others were real, yet they showed up, visually perfect.
It was a few years or more before they showed up, but they did.
They could just be spies or agents or whatever, and they could just be trying to get me to chase or breed, but the bottom line is they finally got at least looks appropriate/right.
Anyway, i am not sure the rest i wrote about is real, too, let alone perfect, but it could be…since ambi and sabrina etc were/are.

I wrapped up my pc work ahead of schedule; a day b4 the roomie. Another good sign.

Compare the fug blob demon in indy…to az/ca ambi; one was as wrong as can be (in texting/thinking and in person/fitness)…and the other/new one was as beautiful as can be…so my thinking/point is that maybe new/real-Ambi is as smarter than the typist…as she is more beautiful than the typist. I hope.

Even though i got fat ish, at least in my abs area, that was a sacrifice in order to get the pc work done much sooner.
It was the only way to keep up w the ideas.
The ideas did finally slow down.
The work got all caught/wrapped up.
It worked out.
Things always came in waves for me; always one focus at a time.

Was i given true information?; will ambi really only gestate 1 month? If so, I really will need all my spells/work complete before cumming in her, as the new and lasting focus will be our family and servants and friends.
I want that now, though; I finally feel ready to let go of my website updates, so many more than i ever expected or planned for…now done.

Naturally waking 1 minute b4 my 5am alarm is cool.
Naturally falling asleep around 7 or 8pm feels right, too; right as the sky dims.

I cannot feel respected by those who stayed hidden from me.
I cannot trust those who never gave me the chance to respect their contact info and secrets.
I cannot love those who made no effort to love me.
I know tests are wrong when done to me, so i kept shutting down those who judged or thought it was okay to test/bait me.
I cannot and should not and must not and do not feel any attraction to such idiots, degenerates, freaks, punks, and unaligned nobodies.
I cannot bring children into this life/world without far more/better signs.
I cannot make any effort for those who never made effort for me.
I guess this is the latest losing-hope dip/moment.

I know I need to be in my body more now, daily; i was n just my mind and hands for so long to complete that idea/design.
I suppose it will happen now that my focus has shifted to it.

New biz cards arriving a week ahead of anticipation. Nice sign.

Irlj sat3-sun4june2023 ~midnight. First time seeing sherriff pickup in this neighborhood. Always makes me think it could be a sign to stay calm or calm back down. I was getting a little tense; incoming roomie and all.

Maybe she and the others are going through frustrating challenges like i have been, and want to come to me as much as i want to go to them, and are as turned off and infuriated w the humanimals as i am. I can hope.

Both tines i went to the chosen cabin alone…and looked n the back window…it reminded me of that Hook movie seen where Peter Pan looks through a window and doesnt see/find what he was looking for. So many windows, he looked in, in that movie montage, so similarly to how iii searched the world.
: (

2.5 months n the barn last time and this time.
1.5 months in the nicer rental.
And now 1 month after a few days camping. (and i don’t think i returned to rental2 back n 2018)
…does that mean decreasing time forced to be around the humans?
It vibes as maybe/probably a good thing this 2nd time. The vibe is far btr than n 2018.

I pushed at the earthship, then gave up, ending up in oregon, not expecting her, and there she was.
I pushed in helena, then gave up and saw rio in butte, not expecting her, and there she was.
I pushed and pushed and pushed w mex…and then gave up and returned, not expecting her, and there she was.
I pushed long w eli after that, and then gave up, going to oceanside, not expecting her, and there she was.
I haven’t finished pushing bk here in mt, but feel i will soon. I have again lost faith, not expecting het. Will she come, returning to me, this time to stay and wed?
It really does seem that the pattern is me losing hope, exhausted, not being brave. I was desperate all those times, yet she was still there.
I was not in great shape, yet she was there.
It is difficult for me to see my worth to such a powerful hottie, but maybe just bc i have endured decades of abuse from morons/losers, tainting my self-image.

Irlj
Morning predawn drive was such a good decision.
Really soothed me.
Saw such picturesque and perfect mountain forest sights.
Beautiful architecture, too.
St sign: “crown point”. First time seeing temp sign “all vehicles enter through member gate”. First time up here on a sunday and right before dawn. First time in this town when i went up toward dreamhouse twice.

After witnessing how soulless and evil and rude and lazy and degenerate and repulsive and freakish humans were in every place i went, i see now why they must be monitored, taxed, busied, threatened, kept down, and kept mortal. What monsters. 100% on the side of the elite who profit off them. Always knew the shadow govt was good.
And now it is mine.
All this is my kingdom.
Amen.

2 hot air balloons went up when i returned to town from highway.
Did they do that in 2018?
Still a loop?

I think i tried cowboycoffee last time.
I must have felt so stressed and depressed and disgusted.
This time, i feel like i am being forced to practice just being, chill, not waiting or wanting things, and i feel better bc i am kinda numb to the ongoing remaining bs, and i feel better bc i have a btr vehicle now, and more money, and more credit, and all my work done.
“Mountain time”…
Still, the heart wants what it wants.
And i believe in accepting what my heart wants.
I just wish they would accept me now.

Engkish Breakfast tea is great.
Music at cowboycoffee is, too.
If only their food was.

If i keep waiting for the entire civilization to unfuck itself, i’ll never have any more relationships.
Even though the system and mindsets are titanic risks/threats, i always seem to avoid them…when i ignore their evil summons attempts/demands.
I will try another hottie…
I will try all the hotties who r nice to me.
Might as well; f-ed either way rn :/

Coming during the start of shoulder season in 2018 was good for the same reason coming at this time in 2023 is good; no traffic, easiest scouting, short lines, quiet, perfect for wrapping up my work, etc.

Holy crap; i rmbr meeting her when she had the tan dog…and worrying the same thing under the balcony guy who walked out…and the convo part inside at pancakes when she said needed the money from the gig today, so soon after returning.
…holy crap, what a loop; been going on since indiana at end of 2021; 1.6yrs of repeated convos/events.

–
even though it is childish and insulting/rude of ppl/whatever to have me wait here so long,
and struggle on my own,
and transition via dogsitting to taking care of others/children,
it is still useful, and I will still make the time count/productive, just like I always do.

upsetting and scary that i’m just gaming rn? and with deja vu? yeah,
but also: really nice that I’m not surviving like a wild animal outside;
really nice I CAN / GET TO game … with really high tech…
while I wait.
otherwise, the waiting would be a lot worse; my mind is used to designing and building and computer use, etc.

deja vu from building The Lost Tower… wtf.
i guess this is something that happens when i fall in love with a true brujah and she decides to loop something…
weaving the timestream threads.
fucking lame.
why the fuck would she get moody when i waited for her for years?
why loop me if she wanted me?
why not just say it is her and ask if I am serious?
why not let Me see Her life so i, Too, can decide/know if she is the one?
fucking stupid-ass earth-beings.
always ruining their own opportunities and distancing the one guy who would have devoted to them the most.
…
and honestly, who the fuck cares if shit is looped? it’s basically no different than the mindlessly-parroting retards loop of every interaction-attempt before.

if I built The Lost Tower in Creativerse in 2018… then why didn’t i screenshot or otherwise document it?
why didn’t i keep the game active?
strange that i get deja vu from it.
did i build something similar last time?
idk.
doesn’t really matter, though.
even if ambi got mad for some dumbass reason, and blamed me even though she stayed secretive/unfair, and even if i am somehow/partially time-/events-looped,
i’m documenting it now,
i built/rebuilt so much,
i’m proud of my discipline and my work and all,
i’m back in the valley i love looking at,
i again overcame its gatekeeper droids/minions/idiots/peasants,
and the new dog is not looped; it is way younger, way darker, very cute, took to me instantly, etc.

the ppl in the coffeeshop today didn’t give me any signs they were there to meet me,
but that’s fine; they weren’t my types, anyway.
and it was nice to go there.

roomie really perked up when i said she might have elven blood 🙂
seems somewhat elven, too. at least for phase2

dog is so sweet, and its size keeps reminding me of how i pictured my babies with ambi when they were/are infants.
its black ears hair is dark and slightly wavy, reminding me of how i pictured ambis.
i love her straight tied-back jet-black hair, of course. just sayin.
also/even reminds me of when Caitlyn let me see her werewolf form <3
what a cool pet for this rd/ch.

 

–

June:

Every time i try to push myself to interact again, the humans have done even worse evil gross retarded bs, completely re-turning-me-off.
I guess that was the sign this whole time, not the individuals who showed up.
…
I wish it was now the other way around; every time i feel grossed out or let down, compatible ppl would show up to rekindle/restore my spirits/mood.

Deja vu. Hill side trail reminded me of walking tan dog there n 2018

Remember how they spoke at you since childhood.
How they treated you.
Made you feel.
Ignored you.
Mocked your wisdom.
Betrayed you.
These beasts are not your ppl.
Or ppl at all.
Rmbr how they make u feel every time u go anywhere.
Anytime you have to plan a sentence instead of speaking truth.
Etc.
You were right to give up on them.
They r in every way unworthy.
…
Another walk, another hideous evil flag.
🙁
How i want to feel as excited about seeing my ppl as her dog is to see other pets

Deja vu from the blonde ish n black yoga pants w big golden retriever outside…
Is she looped?
Age locked?
She is like v2 samm; still needs work.
…
And the roomie isnt looped bc her dog is gone/dead/replaced…
So thank god for That…but why the fuck were the others looped and memories reset?
I would be curious and care if gods ever answered or gave clues… :/

Welp, got fat again. Time to get bk in shape again. Whatever.

Even though i have to block hundreds a day on fb and discord, i probably get just as many Good images and ideas from the internet…and create and publish as many.
The “balance”/mix for now.
Phase2

I hope doc2 loses his woman, after the heartless lie he told me, claiming to know mine was returning to me soon…over a fucking year ago.

She’s gonna hafta start showing up beFore i lose all hope and am homeless again…if she wants to show me she is reliable and cares about what matters to me

Roomie lost 15yr dog last yr…
And i lost ~15yr pen-pal. :/
…
She is lucky she can replace her loss so easily and did.
I don’t even know if my love is still out there, let alone where to find her, or why she keeps not introducing herself, or if i will even survive this next winter.
…fuck

Do i regret not accepting those 100 or so opportunities to bang perfect tens?
Maybe.
But i definitely celebrate having spared myself their rudeness, unfemininity, laziness, and whatever hidden bs was under their clothes.
Phase2 mix.
I celebrate shutting down their spoiled shit approaches.
I celebrate rejecting them rejecting my nature/culture.
I celebrate detecting the blackop to lure and breed me.
I celebrate having stopped pushing past my instincts and all the bs the humanimals kept doing.
I celebrate no longer looking for the good or praying for it.
It was always More frustrating and disappointing and regretful With the humans.

I thought i left after getting Buck’s.
I thought I left before hewtard did the callbombing.
I thought i left from the barn.
I thought i left before meeting this roomie.
Now idk lol.
And will i stay this time?
It is nice to remember so much so long back…but why a repeat of it? : (
I just want answers and my ppl.

Maybe hearing the roomie tv … and dog wanting attention… just means it is time to take a break from the desk/work…and let go of what i published, letting it manifest as perfectly as ambi did/looked/sounded.

Bitch should have been thrilled i came back for her, especially after how she treated me.
She and everyone else should have loved my jokes, understood my way, spoken to me far more respectfully, and on and on.
She and them all.

Was that decade of rp ending in rude dumbass texts from her/it…just another firm reminded to irl instd?
Doesnt matter. Was uncalled for.
I deserved better.
Lots better.
Rmbr: Others r the ones in need of My advice and reminders. Always have been. Even since childhood.

Creepy typical gross-ppl tv show tonight had many similarities to irl;
peasants mocking a guy who endured a terrible event,
his facial hair,
the ambi ish woman who texted her love and then they lost contact,
etc.

Loved the whote xmas lights behind the flower painting, tho. Super cool and cozy.
I want my daughters to decorate their room that way and then ask me and ambi to go up with them to see : ) <3

Watching tv w another person after years…
Makes me remember RPing that w ambi typist.
I want that w real Ambi now.
And all my loves.
…
My instinct told me to join mil…and to get out…and to go to all those schools…and on all those trips…and then it told me to send love to all those characters/women…and then to model the city etc…
and i have survived every time.
And felt right about my instinct and choice to follow it.

The fleshlight felt way btr after warming n the vehic. Havent had it warm in years.

Was thinking of going into yc again, but need the gas for now.

Spotting unlinked terms on Felanelle’s webpage, and finally getting to read copied lore, such as on Azshara’s webpage, are yet more worthy examples of why it was right for me to come back here and take my time. I don’t really Need to do these things, but it feels logical to. And after how flawlessly gorgeous Ambi, Graciella, Rain, Sabrina, and others manifested, it certainly is paying off and worth it, sure to keep pleasantly surprising and wow-ing me.

irlj. sunday4june2023: my latest drive back up into/toward the yc:
St sign “crown point”. First time seeing temp sign “all vehicles enter through member gate”. First time up here on a sunday and right before dawn. First time in this town when i went up toward dreamhouse twice.

Chinese nicknames to Persephone webpage? zero deja vu –and another PERFECT next step/surprise. amen.

amazing how that one little pup can remind me of so many;
ambi hair
werewolf loves
four kids by ambi
witch nevaeh
sabrina -bc of her black-cat Familiar
etc

Memory refresh trail w her and dog, telling of my novels series
And another refresh: asking questions about plants along the way
And the white young woman hiker n black shorts and tanktop w dalmation
And roomie saying raft group of 18 yc women…
Now i rmbr ahead; me being here alone.
Last time, someone else took the dog.
Last time, i couldnt afford to stay.
What will happen this time?

Thought i was gonna walk dog alone again, then seemed to have the walk taken care of, then got to group trail walk, then got a 2nd trail; better than expected.
So…why am i dreading having to be homeless again… 🙁

Offered me dinner and bear spray. Didnt have to ask for either.
First time having homemade curry? …or was it the same meal in 2018?
Now i just need an angel to offer me a home.
And My angel -Ambi- to offer me her hand.
Surely she will come this time…
🙁

Can’t get a job until i have a place…and can’t afford a place until i have a job…and no one here seems to want what i am great at.
Maybe i just wasnt meant to have a job Or a home…
At least not yet. Obviously; every time i manage, many retards/NPCs fuck it up. :/

Thought i had to leave n a month…and got offered into december.
Is that what happened last time?
Why am i not sure?
Did i repress it bc of all the stress and sorrow?
It is a great relief…and keeps me healthily outside more…in the right temperatures…
but oh, how i still burn to know where the hell that “my husband wants me here one more day” woman is…
Even when i come this far/close…just for her…and get all that work done…she Still won’t honor me?
If she already calls me her husband, why not talk to me?
Why not live with me?
Just doesnt make any sense.

I was never angry eNough; i was always forced to calm down, then ironically insulted for not being louder in the Corps.
The few times i Was able to be naturally angry, shooting stars or lightning or blasts occurred.
I wonder if i could have honed that…
Would i need more outbursts?
Or were those outbursts only necessary when i didnt know i could do those things?; maybe now that i have witnessed them, i can manifest them calmly. I have the memory and focus now.

If she leaves me on my own again, i will certainly be used to it and able to deal.
Something always works out.
At least i tried.

She showed up once a year or two…for seconds…
I parked here as close to her as i knew how to be…twice in montana for months, and twice in indiana.
I made a huge effort.
I waited so long every time.
I gave all my info.
I can be proud and at peace with the fact i did all i could.

Got to ride a snow bike; the really fat tires

I sure hope all those inappropriate reactions to me male sense soon; i hope karma fucked all those jerks up.
I hope the ones i liked the looks of…return and admit the spying and treat me extremely well from here on.

Am i really gonna make a few more Writ Univ pgs? Why not.

I really don’t want or need to model anymore buildings; ambi and the others already manifested flawlessly…as much as a decade ago; my buildings webpages had comparable amounts of detail; specs/dimensions, sounds/playlists, images/examples, descriptions, etc., website viewers, RP, me holding and returning to and refining all those visions.
…
But until my loves return to me…i have only the modeling and regaining my muscle tone to pass the time.

I really did not like the latest trail ppl, but at least i had 2 to walk w me past them.

I dont need to practice forcing through my tenseness/instincts; i deserve ppl who interact how i want to, and who are as excited about all i do…as the puppy is excited about every walk and flower.

The week outside every month or so means 750/mo rent…
and feels like expeditions;
like what i envisioned and wanted and wrote…is starting to come on again.

It was nice she defaulted to positive regarding me someday traveling again and seeing the aurora

Last time (2018), i said what all 10 books were about.
This time on the same trail, i said what only the first 5 were about. I learned not to waste time covering all details. Those books r just for me rn anyway.

I got so much i wanted,
yet so much i didnt.
I got the free bear spray,
and hiking friends ish,
and shelter,
and btr rent,
and so much perfect food,
so why not what i want most of all?; why not that 364 home of my own, and my loves?

Seeing that fit chest pecs abs white guy…and the shirtless tan at the park…both relieve me to see healthy ppl after so long…and remind me how far i have to go b4 i am that fit.

Almost ambi in white van dntn, pink colorful aviator sunglasses

Seeing the boobsy redhead at the intersection…reminded me of ariel. Nowhere near as gorgeous as real Ariel, but still. Got my heart pumping

Almost hots going n gym…but not upon closer drive

Something loud fell and bounced on the floor a couple times last night. Made me wonder if ambi had been here and stumbled while vamp/shadow-sneaking out moments b4 i fully woke.
Her kind can prob tell when a dream is ending, or see ahead n time to when i will wake…

Dumbest shit i ever got texted, “maybe she is seeing if you stay somewhere a while”; i obviously fucking Would if i had Reason to!; good Ppl for fucking once!
How the fuck am i supposed to stay Anywhere with how insane rates and ppl have been???
No team? Forced nomadic.
Catch a fuckin clue.

40, no kids, mt. Similarities.
But 4 homes and a boat and regular returning yc clients? Lucky. Happy for ppl like that, but where is mine??

The ravens keep making me hope it is ambi in magic shapeshifted disguise

Watching sun come up from this bed…reminds me of frodo waking in rivendell after his ordeal/mission,
…but the person here is not fully elven,
and this is just a breather,
and my team has yet to even meet me.
Ugh.

It sucks finally being asked about my books…but only by primitives who can never understand or be shown them.
Bittersweet.
Like protoAmbi and the other false-positives/hots.
Lame and fucked up fakes.
Saying 1 thing and never following through.
Same as all the “job offers” that were really just bait before typical abuse from unruly peasants lacking a real god.

Looks like i’ll get to dentist here after all.

The barking whining pup makes me think of my calls for help/loves…but the pup doesnt understand it is loved and that those it wants will return.
In my case, i was the one doing the loving,
and ambi and the others were the foolish animals who didnt understand how to communicate.

In more than a decade, maybe two, ambi and the others only let me see them once for sure, and ambi finally twice for sure, and only let me hear her voice twice, and still hasnt even let me know she is real, still hasnt introduced herself, still hasnt comforted me once.
When this pup cries out, it gets attention within seconds, and within an hour or two after errands. Seconds usually, hours at most. It knows its loves are real, and they always return very soon.
Vs since 2013 or earlier for me; i cry out, give up, no one comes. And i didnt even know if anyone was hearing me. I still havent even gotten to Meet my loves.
That is hell.
So they werent training me to stop crying out, or to have faith. They just werent ever there for me.
Whether i believed or not, cried out or not, waited or not, they ignored me.
And even of they didnt ignore me, just could not come yet for some reason, they still were never there like i needed them to be.
Every passby Took hope and energy from me, never giving any.

Seeing the couple in the car ahead at the stoplight today, singing and dancing together to some song, made me happy for them, and mad at all who refused to be friendly like that w me. I have never had such fun.

The dog whining for attn…reminds me how right i was to never get a pet prematurely / before now / before all my complex thinking and buulding and reviewing and revising was wrapped up.
It also makes me notice how it is at the right time now; i needed physical interaction, before only wanting it, but now having time for it and being worn out to the point i actually needed it. And here it is.
As is some control; i can decide when to interact, as opposed to before; when the ones i wanted…never gave me even the chance to interact remotely.
At least w this pup, the decision is always my own, and the reaction is always gentle excitement.
The hotties could learn a hell of a lot from this dog.

The typist snapping “i aint sweet!” now makes me think that built up over years and years bc flawless hotties Have to become that moody to prevent relentless advances. She definitely was sweet to me until i complimented her for it. Poor thing.

If i see the same emotion and need in the hotties when they return to me; weeping apologetically and clinging to me and explaining everything and professing their love…i will know they are right for me.
As long as they also demonstrate basic intelligence; knowing tv and pharma and polit and relig are all obviously scams for retards.
They will have to prove to me i can trust them with the innocent little lives we may create.

I found out when the guy is getting here. Again, didnt have to ask.
Good.

Such beautiful perfect picturesque days here, temperature and all, reflecting my post-wrapup/relief mood

Nice the roommate also notices/liked clouds

The cute pup sounded like she yawned back “hel-lohhhhh” after i said it : )

Visions of picking my kids up so they can see what i and their momma, ambi, are mixing and baking for their breakfast, letting them taste from our fingertips, asking if they like it, seeing their cute thinking expressions before they answer, then their excitement and laughter as we tap their noses and such

Memory refresh: same guy, same convo, him lying on grass on side same way, having walked up thinking tye roommate was my wife. Exact repeat of last time.

Seeing the daughters and sons here makes me want to have my own with ambi so much…
See them play catch, frisbee, etc.

The fact that robo repeat guy implied i need to be petting the dog more… Just wow.
Can’t even sit down for a few minutes without some judgy deformed fake goblin talking shit, condescending.
These beats really did get programmed with a god complex. So retarded.
Always assuming the negative.
Always being repulsive and incorrect.
They Should be advising Others on what iii actually need. They Should be concerned w Me, not random noobs/NPCs.
But apparently they are deadset on trying to siphon spiritual energy and time any way they can, and always through underhanded rude means.
Whatever.
…
Just goes to show i shouldnt still be waving or smiling or trying to engage any of these primitive monkey mutants.
It still isnt working in the slightest.
…
I’ll be so surprised if ever anyone on this world starts caring about me and what matters to me.

After seeing how casually and proudly they massmurder, massrape, and cause unimaginable amounts of horror and pain and separation, i dont know if i can ever feel anything for these psychos again.
After how ruthlessly indifferent and judgy and idiotic they have been to me, i think i just better stand by for more abandonment and homelessness.

At least i still have my work. My vision. My purpose. My victories.

They consistently showed me no matter how great i am, they won’t reward it or even care.
And no matter how their bitches doll themselves up, they will never make the same amount of effort toward being polite or conscious or helpful.
And they won’t even ask what my vision is, let alone loyally hold/manifest it w me –and they should default to knowing it, anyway.
And their system will always be against me, no matter how right and innocent i am.
So they are as insane and selfdefeating as can be, over and over dangling barely-hots who all behave the same godawful punkish way.
I dont have a single good memory from them. Only from being away from them.

It was nice to hear she doesnt eat much meat.
But she still eats it.
And her pet does.
And idk how long i’ve been patiently hoping to be w fellow sane vegans, and My kind of pets.
Hell.

Still having nightmares / dream-harassment about/from the ambi-ish. Wtf. So offensive. So glad i shut that down. Finally.
If she had been good at all, i would only have good dreams bc of her.
I only ever had the one; her smiming at me, beside me, on my farm in Inisfree sunlight komorebi. One good dream in a decade+? Horrible sign.

The whine and comm attempts/consistency reminds me of all the times and years iii was the one begging to play w ppl i like, and always being denied.

This linda is n phase2, met 2x, and btr by far than linda1.
Thank god.
Good sign.

great quote:
“A good mentor hopes you will move on.
A great mentor knows you will.”

I didnt make a mistake choosing ambi;
all behaved the same lame rude dumbass way.
Like how bigsky is right for me bc it isnt about the ppl, but the view and air and my mood, ambi is the right one for me, even w her stupid spoiled moments.

Little blk dog hurried to me and looked up to ask if it was okay, then hopped up on my lap and went to sleep.
All i could think about was how much i miss my baby, ambi, and want to hold her close as we fall asleep every night.
I wish she would soften her heart and come back.
We have so much history together…even though she used a middleperson to court me.
I want my wife…
And i want us holding our little babies as They fall asleep with us.
Amen.

Rain matched the latest work wave wrapup; huge downpour of relief.
I wish i had been there to comfort ambi during the lightning and thunder.
I wish she had been here to comfort me.
Maybe the storm was her, though; relieved i kept wrapping up all just to be with her sooner…if she will agree.

–
Since ambi already speaks of me as her husband, it is possible my writing has caused all the other hotties to think of me as their shared husband, too.
Amen.
maybe all the ppl I wrote about… now behave and think as I wrote their characters being/believing/thinking

Farmers market has no farm produce lol wtf.
But heakthier cleaner lighter snowcones,
and vegan bakery treats <3

Memory refresh. Farmers market. Was in jeep, worrying about not having a job.
This time? Hardly care at all; every time i try one, every sign in the world tells me to drop it.

Aaaaaand another covidiot. Whatever. Have learned long ago to not expect much from these primitive humanimals.
Paaaaathetic.
The gods should be ashamed.

Is the chat about that time traveler show series Outlander the usual roundabout pussy encoded “sign”/message ambi is in another time period at the moment?
Whatever.
Dumb, either way; she should be here to tell me herself.
Not much of a wife yet.

As shitty as it is to be around yet another covid dumbass, it is still a foothold, it buys time, and it saves me from wasting time being socialable with a mindless npc robot.
The gods really should get kicked in the nuts and tortured for all these idiots, though.
Hopefully they will.
Tar and feather them, too, while we’re at it.

Nice getting shown the mex desert property; now i know not to go for 2 reasons; temp/environment and covidiot.

Thank god that covidiot doesnt have children

Weekly and multiday thunderstorms, temps in the 30s to low 60s? My kinda july.

–
wow, that blondetard plays the shittiest music; cher “love after love” whatever.
good to know she is as dumb and repulsive as she is ugly; easy to avoid / not waste time on.
totally ruined the heavenly rainfall sound i was enjoying.
and now it’s blasting that speech-impediment fugtard bagface celine deon.
wow.
just wow.
smh.
another fail.
nothing new, huh, god.
…
thankfully it ended up playing “aint no mountain high enough”, which is a decent love/devotion-song,
but it turned that one off lmao. no taste. no sense.
another indirect message/call from my love/s?
I’d prefer they just show up and prove their love, not have some NPC play an old song.

the covidiots are annoying scum, but they are the ones stuck in homes and taxes,
and I am the free healthy smart one, so it works out -for phase2, anyway.

anyone dumb enough to parrot and believe the most obvious scam/lie of all time (covid)…
is dumb/dangerous enough to gullibly and emotionally parrot ANYthing.

things for kings and gods take longer.
kings and gods live longer.
still, i want my loves now.
i’ve spellcrafted long enough.

now that I think about it, the platinum-blonde neighbor chick… is a lot like Amber ICV1; almost there. 🙂

Even if ambi isnt coming back to at last talk w me and start our family, her perfect looks and voice…give me reason to keep updating my webpages; the others may very well manifest/appear for me as gorgeously and flawlessly as she did all those times.
That is worth all the uncertainty and struggle in phase1 and 2.

Technically i am getting what i wanted and needed; off that death ranch, away from its skulls, into the meadow, around more ppl, not yet bonding w anyone, wrapping up my work w healthy intervals walking w good beings (pup; innocent and eager, etc.).
It is btr to he here n this colorful groundlevel decorated aptmt full of life (plants) than it was to be in that remote and skull-desecrated shack.

Ambi typist waited a decade and then suddenly introduced me to most of her helpers/characters; 2010 to 2019.
Then the next year, she introduced 2 more; her brutal-sex prostitute, and the angel she was given when a job could not be completed.
Skip a year, then final/latest 2; the only 2 who were back then “off limits” sexually; her priestess, and Arwen.
She said i then had access to all of them.
She said all of them wanted kids w me.
Does the offlimits end mean she was losing sexual interest? No; never vibed that way. It was likely the 2nd-final test; to see how i would feel when sex was denied.
To see if the rest were enough to sate me.
And the final test was seeing if i could then be corrupted to let my ppl be bullied and worse, which i immediately rejected, passing that test, even at the cost of reducing/banishing Her.
And what happened after i passed that test? All the covidiot lies and wprst condescension and passive aggressive insecure raging of all…
Then, when i stood up to that, too, i got i secure defense mechanism backtalk.
I made fun of it, giving her a taste of her own medicine.
I got the silent treatment for months.
So i again gave a taste of that medicine; i applied the greatest silent treatment of all; blocking.
She always gave me the silent treatment in person, so why not?
She was always all talk, never proving her sincerity or being fair w me.
There was nothing to hold onto, nothing to fight for, nothing to save or mend.
There was nothing to begin with; only typo-riddled rp.
Will more hotties come? Maybe. Likely, based on how they Always have.
Will behavior improve? Not likely, based on how no one’s has n 40 years.
Will i be surprised again, like when she showed she is real, or when i saw the looped covidiots? Maybe.
Anyway, curious she resisted my sexuality at first, and lost contact, then held contact years and years and showered me with sex slaves, then eased back and guaranteed online contact ended…
What a weird bitch.
Sure, i Made it work out; my life in spite of all the i sane evil losers i encountered, but did she know i would?
Was she giving me space?
I have no way of knowing unless she returns and tells me.

And that “come back to the light” line? Was that supposed to mean by leaving Her?
Or was it implying she didnt like something about me?
Sure seemed like brainless blameshifting/gas lighting; didnt make sense for an elf to say that to someome who was never sick or poisoned. Especially from a typist who Was poisoned -by the covidiot brainwashing.
She might not have taken the vax, given how she said “pureblood” etc., but she definitely had the smoketard brainwashing, and meattard brainwashing, and religtard…and polittard…and pro-queer-tard…
Jesus… What a fucked up idiot.
Wasted a decade or more of her owk time by pretending to want a family, then never doing her part to make me feel it was safe and right with her.
Acted like we had bonded, only to reveal we hadnt anything in commom at all.
Why fake shit That long?
She couldnt even really Feed off me in any way; we never even touched, let alone got to where i could pamper or provide for her.

No point asking the covidiot for a yc lead; i rmbr last time ot didnt work, and why would i trust such anyway?

Half a year is a long time for things to work out this time.
Last time, what ended up happening was more travel; to the 49th and 50th states, etc., and to mexihell, so…since i dont want Any more travel…and only my enemies brought to their sorry knees, what now?

Even if None of it was disclosure, it was still a Ton of free intel, free art, free ideas, etc.,
and ambi and sabrina and rain Did show Up.
So it was Something.
Always felt like an interview and test; them being chickenshits, seeing how i would react to every little scenario.
Then not showing up, even after i had genuinely loved so many.
Lame.

After the covidiot verbal diarrhea, i can no longer help w its property, and know it would be a waste to tell it of my plan here, and a waste to let its bro read my books.
Oh, well.
Saves me time.
Just one more sign to keep ignoring humans for now.

In the rp, ambi posted her profile so i knew when it was her.
She communicated regularly.
She warmed up to me.
…in person, she waited Years until i was worn out, kept saying nothing, never let me know if it was her or just some random chick, and never warmed up at all. …???
Did i meet darkAmbi first? Is that why she was a dumbass cunt?
I would imagine wholeAmbi would at least say it is her,
and goodAmbi would at least hug me and tell me her contact info…
All of the hotties should have.
They should have cheered me on.
They should have built bonds and trust and history all this time.
But i guess i have another 40+ years for that.
And it gets hotter and hotter for me to fuck them while they stay the same hotness and bring me hs/ms-age captures.
And babes bred and raised as kajirae the whole time.

177days until dec., and 48 clubs to model, thus ~3days/club

That pizza, watermelon, almond-milk late-night snack was wonderful

It keeps occurring to me that i had the right pace all along, and that even now…this is a good pace for me; plenty of sleep, work, and outings.
Not ideal at all, as far as the ppl, yet…but an ideal overall pace, at least.

It also keeps occurring to me that these are the final “labor pains” before Inisfree is completely envisioned and manifestes. Amen.

The pup is a great stepping stone toward having kids

Nice to hear the guy is away lots and randomly; bc they have tended to be wildly immature

The roomie helps by triggering me to work more each day, and recharge longer btwn unwinds, etc.

Idk why i keep having so few vegan options.
Maybe it is to give the vegan cheese time to be improved?

Idk how earth/god/mankind can ever make up for all the bad theyve done.
After seeing how they make their “food”, and how rampantly they lie about every little thing, and how deviant they all were, and how insensitive and literally evil, what other than angelic nuking will suffice?

As bad as it still is, the bitching is down to near zero, and I am almost Always OFP.

Everyone i’ve encountered so far…desperately needed my guidance, but also didnt deserve a single word of it.
Telosians included.
Everyone.
Only when they realize that and then pay me billions of dollars will i consider deigning to share Any of my wisdom.
How it is.

I have such perfection abundance surging through from my feeds…
and my site is so perfect now…
and the scenery outside…
and my vehicle, just about…
so surely sane ppl will start showing up, all those other things manifested correctly.

Dreamlog thu8jun2023 was excited to be in eastern russia at night at a big house like an abandoned fairytale mansion, up on roof, finding door in, waiting in dark attic, starry sky outside, somehow knowing i had been allowed to meet ambi at last, and she walked in, in a red dress or nightgown, and calmly warmly greeted me, then walked w me down and outside, on the snow, amidst russians who may have been an illusion or loyal townsfolk.
But when i woke at 7:30 to my alarm, i did not care, for it was just another dream; i am a man, and need and deserve my women being physically present.

Even though the humans are still being gross and lying, i can still utilize assets, and still say what matters. I can still “put out there” what i am seeking.
Eventually it will happen.
I have to try. No one else is yet.

Once again, disrespectful god fails as hard as can be, leaving me w yet another covidtard, i unexpectedly eating food made by an injector junkie. Shame on all the gods. What absolute worthless losers and criminals they keep being.
Absolute disgraces.
At least i have continued heing healthy and feeling good in spite of all the evil they have exposed me to.
At least i have learned nothing, not even injection bs, can hurt me.

Even though she lied retardedly, her kind is exactly who Should be injected, afraid, profitted off of, no spawning, etc.; at least her kind is slowing themselves now, and exposing their own evil, no longer any good at hiding it.

The midnight instinct/urge/fantasy of Mila quietly waking me after showing up in her pink and yellow sweatshirt to sneak cheat was wonderful. I like to think it was a telepathic offering from Ambi and/or Ariel, etc.
Too bad the original mila is meh, but at least my mind always makes her and others right. It’s a start.

I always do great work, even when there is no sign of hope for the current chapter –other than to keep surviving and wrapping up more work.

Finally left that godawful cesspool Eve group.
About time.
What a bunch of retards.
I am amazingly resilient for sticking it out as long as i did.
The next one is always better, and by far; compare lumen to “blazing sons of leva”.

breakfast in bed, salad etc., what a great way to start the day
…
then more site updates long-due 🙂
and perfect heavenly rainfall sound outside my open window.
perfection once again.
more and more here.
amen.

1st time hiking up Storm Castle in a storm! 😀 <3

First time helo in air on way to storm castle trailemhead

Same 2 tan blondes exiting as i approached trailhead. Posb same tan jogger girl heading down n tight black spandex. 1st time goong up to rock hole 2x on same hike

Loved the little dog falling asleep and shifting on me.
Just wish it was ambi and our four babies.

Maybe the humans still saying bs and behaving wrongly and looking weirdly, my rightful disgust, waves of ideas, and working pc…are all good and signs this is my calling/destiny.

I’m not blowing multiple chances w my dreamgirl; she is blowing multiple chances w her dreamguy, and i know i am her dreamguy bc a girl that hot only goes for what she really wants.

If i had to describe them,
Abusive
All talk
Arrogant
Backward
Blameshifting
Brainwashed
Cheap
Childish
Corrupt
Cowardly
Creepy
Criminal
Dangerous
Deformed (height, etc.)
Delusional
Dishonest
Erratic
Failed
Fake
Fanatical
Fickle
Gaslighting
Halfass
Hypnotized
Ignorant
Insulting
Judgy
Lazy
Lost
Mercurial
Moody
Negligent
One-sided
Out of line
Poorly dressed
Primitive
Random
Reckless
Rude
Secretive
Spoiled
Stingy
Thieving
Uneducated
Unhealthy
Unprofessional
Unreliable
Upsetting
Useless
Untrustworthy
Violent
Wasteful
Weak
Culturally insensitive
And as wrong as it gets.
Every single one of them behaved that same way; awfully.
As inappropriate as it gets.
So the point of my writing and other hobbies is no longer to manifest, since the manifestations have always been uniformly worthless assholes, but instead to pass time and embrace my talents while giving repeat middlefinger equivalents to this civilization of dumbass scumbags.

The reaction of those 3 trail bitches was annoying and wrong af; i should be reacted to how they reacted to the animal. But they were fugs, so, …whatever.
Typical failure humanimals.
Nothing new yet.

“Smoke em if ya got em”; enjoy whatever you brought during breaks.
I have a bed, so i sleep in for now.
I have enough $ for good food, so i eat well.

“Be compassionate”??? Coming from a psycho who pays others to murder innocents so he can use their skin.
This world is so fucked up.
Unreal.

How i wished the 2 at the top had been caitlyn and blaire, but they were ugly.
Yet another total failure of god and mankind.

It is impossible to be attracted after what theyve done

The more amerifails i meet, the more i am ashamed of them and digusted about still living here

“Do you just want to be alone?” ???
Yeah… That’s why I spent decades networking, dating, and trying to start a family and entire community. Jackass.
I want to be away from retards like You.
I always liked People, just not brainless barbarian shittalker punks.

Going out looking and calling for them never paid off, so i stopped.
Showing up at random and always refusing to say who they were? Dumbest rudest behavior imaginable.
They knew who i was, and made it clear they had spied, which means they left me to endure abuser after abuser, which means they Are the abusers.
Not worth my time or trouble at all.
Now i know them by their works.
Now i know not to bother calling to them.
They knew who i was, which means they could have contacted me and introduced themselves and Asked when is good to show up.
They uniformly chose the worst possible behavior every time, without exception.
I now know them by their works.

Why did they never once ask the most basic questions?;
When works for you?
What matters to you?
What can I learn from you?
How much?
How can I help?
Can I make it up to you?
Would you like to see more?
Anything.
They didnt do Any of that, and all of it should have been default from the start.
They really did have the worst educations and manners and mindsets.
Such a disgrace.
All of them. Every last one.

what an epic dumbass; “you need millions of dollars to get in there”… which has nothing to do with the question I asked about any rooms for rent.
smh
another idiot
nothing new
sorry fail-merica

just like the others of this world, the dog is annoying, stubborn, disobedient, distracting, rude, primitive, etc.
It was tolerably entertaining every now and then, but that is a far cry from acceptable and what I asked for.
smh

it is creepy how all who showed up were basically like craig;
all talk, then I showed up, and they did absolutely fuck-all nothing.

NC fam/kids said this is their first time up here,
but they were here in 2018.
they’re looped, too? bots? lying? they seemed to believe their story, so… loop?
time-loop?
curious.
nice to see them again; they are good at conversing, and remind me of the ones I wrote of having with Ambi.
if only she’d return and prove I can trust her to protect them…
maybe somehow she’ll convince me she really is smart, aware, and ready to be a mom.

“Nearly $200 per ride”? It was only 20! These mindless parrot NPC morons are always so wrong lol

Even if they r giving me time to wrap up my design, there is still the issue of her/them repeatedly showing up and always doing the same rude thing; why did hundreds of them all behave the same way, refusing to stand, refusing to say hello, always trying to use their meh looks to see if I would pursue?
Every last one wpuld have gotten a pleasant chat if they’d said the global basic, “Hi. My name is _. Pleased to meet you. I am here because _.”
All they had to do was be honest and normal.
And since they never did, it means they were not there to answer my calls, or to network, or to help in any way, but only to try and tempt and stall/delay me.
Thus we remain at war.
And after the retarded shit wave the typist disrespected me with, I don’t even know if I would trust and accept ambi in tears begging for me to forgive her…

Since they uniformly showed me they are untrustworthy and abusive, and that I can’t even count on them to do the one thing I still used them for (food), the value of their civilization/ppl dropped to zero and will stay there.
There is no coming back from all the countless unthinkable crimes they have done.
And every repeat of the uniformly rude dangles/lures just digs their pit deeper.
Every unasked for appearance; every fugtard I never asked for, digs them deeper.
Every ruined ear moment.
Every inappropriate meal ingredient.
Everything they have done so far, without exception.
I have yet to witness a single appropriate thing from any of them.
and I “know them by their works”.

From now on, all realms which did not eagerly parade out their finest for me, while ending all i wouldn’t like, and all realms i will go to, which do not do that for me, get angel-nuked.
All realms without anything i’d like… get angel-nuked.
Even the finest get angel-nuked if they are merely the finest of what is there, but not fine by my instinct/standards.

If she is smart, she will see that i accepted her moody times and deadly side, and only rejected idiocy, lies, rudeness to me, etc.; she can be ‘dark’ against our enemies.
So now the Real test is of Her; does she likewise accept My moods and ‘darkness’?
Or was she all-talk like all the rest?

The tan blue eyed brunette today reminded me of Neveah’s skin and Adaline’s eyes.

When they treat me as well, and defend me as much, as they did bacon and their false god/s, then they can be my servants.
But my ppl shall always only be my ICVs and devoted wives. And the devoted children they and I make; my children who regard Me as the one true god and best man.

That peasant saying the trails and lifts r all closed until ski season… Not okay. He should have known me, and told me the free and secret and elite way.

1800+200elec…to 1000total…should mean free rent next, or at least halved again; 500/mo.

Even thought they r just looped/bots and poorly-made (fugs), they still gave possible useful intel about the trail i was about to go on; still snpwy patches.

Thought 3d/club was a tough pace, but then i found Stormwind Cathedral, thus only needed a single hour to basically complete enough of club WoW to call it good, so estimating the remaining club modeling is difficult; it could be done sooner.

“sure you were” should have been “You were amazingly polite, especially given how uniformly rude they all were. I’ll have a word with them; I’ll terrorize the shit out of them until they are nearly insane for how they treated you.”
and
“exceptionally bangable”/”wasn’t the first time, won’t be the last” should have been “Please let me show you I am exceptionally bangable based on your standard. Would you like sexting? In-person shows? Anything you want. My sexiness is all for you.”
and
[torturing others who were good to me] should have been [being turned on by what turns me on, and loving that I am happy, and being proud that she provided so much of my happiness and satisfaction, and promoting/celebrating/rewarding her women for doing a job I felt was great]
and
[jls la-la “don’t care what the experts say”] should have been “you have always been smarter than most, educated, informed, thoughtful, aware, clever, and accurately deducing/spotting badguys/danger/scams, and I have learned I can trust you, and I agree with your assessment 100%, plus I had already figured it out; great minds think alike”
and
“miiiiinecraft? [barf emoji]” should have been “you always work such clever wonders, even with such simple means/tools, so I am once again very impressed by how resourceful and diligent and flexible you are”
and
“did you think it would be easy?” should have been “you have made it through decades of hard times and absolute bullshit, and stayed in shape and studious and loving. you chose challenges and overcame them. I am impressed at how tough you are.”
but
she was a phase2 mix; all-talk, but ultimately just another bullshiter/fake/toxic bitch.
apparently She thought it would be easy; just show up unannounced, randomly, say nothing, expect me to read her mind, then leave me hanging every time, to endure that much more, and assume I’ll love her anyway. reality doesn’t work that way, dumbass.

dogs really are like the peasants/humanimals; no matter how many hours a day you spend with them, hiking up literal mountains, exercising and teaching them, feeding and providing for them, they still choose to be moody and annoying.
it’s never enough.
smh
they get what they want, then complain.
meanwhile in 40 years i still have not yet gotten what i want and asked for.
so done.

“coming soon” should have been [exactly when; quantified] + an apology for that bogus intel/claim about the mex coast/boat.
“when you’re ready” should have been “you’ve clearly been ready for years, and she is getting ready/better for you” -but that should have come as an explanation and apology from Her, not yet another middleman human.
but he was another military moron.
nothin new.

toe issue prevents the walks i didn’t wanna go on rn. interesting.
still not cool, though; my body should be Superman-level resilient/tough/strong.
maybe it is when i’m around good ppl; ‘my soul tribe’
…if my body was as tough as i am smart, i’d be invincible.

why be mad at the hotties so far… when I’m not mad at the useful images of architecture, or the videos of how to make vegan recipes/dishes?
because I haven’t been allowed to try/have ANY of those things, and I wanted and deserved normal interaction with the hotties more than the other things.
I got to go IN some of the buildings.
I got to TRY some of the recipes and ingredients separately.
I have NOT yet gotten to enjoy the hotties the way I would have if this had been an appropriate/healthy/normal/sane civilization/world.
the recipes had no way to travel to me, and the skyscrapers and other sites had no way to travel to me, but the hotties ALWAYS had ways to travel to me; they had choice/flexibility, yet still chose to fail rudely.
plus, I got to experiment with the recipes, and see multiple buildings and towns in single goes; the hotties did not yet offer me themselves in groups like that, instead only being ‘dangled’ as singles/individuals, which is bizarre, creepy, unnatural, etc.

the dog, like all mindless/detached/stubborn earth-beasts/peasants/fools, is gonna learn the same hard lesson the rest of them did; the more you bitch and distract, the longer it takes for me to return to hang out or do anything else. welcome to reality. get aligned to me or deal with it.

now I see why the Weddings bmp didn’t get done back when I started it;
I hadn’t added Bloom, Fihini, Hope Mikaelson, Lathavi, etc.

Sat10jun2023:
It has been a decade since the first night club of Inisfree was imagined, and finally all 51 of them are designed, measurements set, and their computer models framed. A few are also completely modeled, ready to manifest.

Finally seeing classic Karate Kid
…
Didnt realize it was cutie Elisabeth Shue in Karate Kid. Love seeing her like that
…
Reminds me of how all the godawful jobs taught me more selfcontrol etc.

Figures how i said i never wanted to experience being out of contact w her again, so she refuses to even say it is her, then lets her fugtard blobscum typist talk so much shit i had to block and give up on her.
Fucking unreal.
Sure did wrap up inisfree, though; it is perfect now, all steps finally complete, out of the way

Nice to relax finally, even though the threat of possible winter homelessness again looms

Nice to see the dog relaxed and nomming her chew sticks, not whining or yipping

You all vibed as knowing it was me, yet you said nothing, rude; you chose not to extend the most basic of courtesies to someone you already had knowledge of.
I didn’t know it was you, so me not saying anything was polite; I respected strangers, letting them decide if they want to engage.

Whether ambi and the others return and explain or not, i stood my ground, i got my 25year vision written down, and i moved to the right place to have a family.
The next 5 months will reveal whether ambi and the others have honor and decency…
If i end up homeless again, i did all i could.
I stood ready to accept honorable people.
Ambi was acting shady/unfair af…so…not really a loss.
I just wish she had been the one for me.

It’s weird/backward, having falled in love w a wife and kids/family before they r even w me…but this is the other side of The Shift, so it makes sense to form and love a steady vision first.
Now will it manifest as beautifully as ambi and sabrina and rain and graciella2 did?
It’s up to momma (ambi) to return and make those 4 with me.

I could stop venting about the same few things, but then i wouldnt be holding the vision.

So glad i skipped to the end of The 100; my instincts were right again; it would have been another of jewlywood’s endless garbage that only gets worse and grosser.

Deja vu from the boze vegan 2 grls.
Did i see and decline to meet last time?
Did i meet?
Will meeting them refresh another memory?
Smh. Fucking loop…
Still, nice to finally find some vegans out here, and to have them start contact.

4th rainbow this month

Maybe darkAmbi was destined to be released, making Ambi whole, because only that side of her was merciless enough to temporarily alienate me at just the right time that I would get the last 2 years of wrapups done, allowing us to be together ASAP.
Maybe lightAmbi will always balance darkAmbi perfectly, and vice versa.
DarkAmbi was probably only wild and scary when extracted and isolated from that which used to balance her,
and lightAmbi was only not sexual enough for me when darkAmbi wasn’t keeping her fun and willing to experiment.
Maybe only darkAmbi is enough to keep the fucked up humans afraid and away.

mkm ended up being 1 season/set every 2 years, give or take; Mayan/Atlantean; ~year on, ~year off

found the warren miller lodge lobby pics i was searching for! it all works out 😀

no matter how pretty she was, or how perfect her voice sounded, she was still a cheap immitation just like i texted her typist/middleman; because she wasn’t nice to me, and didn’t help when i needed it; my wife -REAL Ambi- WOULD be there for me, and WOULD greet me, and WOULD explain herself, and WOULD love to make sure I understand she means well.
she wouldn’t just leave me hanging.
she wouldn’t wear a fucking mask.
she wouldn’t leave me to sleep in shitty motels.

RPing making ambi whole was the right thing to do; I had to see if the real whole her is the right woman for me.
Making phase2 about letting others decide if They would accept the signs and default to being happy about all Iii am was Also the right thing to do; it revealed how all default to good manners, logic, patience, professionalism, etc..
I am very proud of those manly and wise choices/decisions I made.

Odd that i got deja vu from the pinkroof blueprint build by the canyon field river. Did i really place the same bp on the same spot in the same size map in 2018?
Maybe.

Poutine is disgusting

The pale hairs vothered me for a year or so. Now…i see them as a victory; i made it many years farther than what the plan was from those who tried to kill me.

Rained all week, matching my relieved mood; many big waves of ideas and updates completed in a row

Creativerse is 64 blocks x 8 claims x 20 of those 8-claim spans, which = 30,720′ (~5.8 miles) across, thus 943,718,400 sq.ft. (~33.85 sq.miles). That is roughly the size of Rota island, the one north of Guam.
Assuming its world is supposed to be Earth-like, the biggest map/island in this game = ~something the size of Rota north of Guam; far less than 1% of the planet.

Offered food is phase2ish…but from an injector is disgusting…and nonvegan is definitely not appropriate/phase3. Fucking lingering shit mix :/

Wed14jun2023
Another almost-Ariel, this time on the Ousel trail up to 364, red orange hair tied back up n bun, black jogging outfit, bare arms. Getting closer…

Wed14jun2023. Deja vu from 2nd farmers market here; cute teen mild tan dirty blonde rjh hair vendor stand girl setting up at 4:15p. Bot? Either way, thank god at least One of them looks right. It’s a start.

Was doubting the jackfruit taco, but with pineapple and served cold it really worked! Perfect.

2nd farmers market was btr; 3 hot girls, 1 a platinum blonde shorty, and got Northern Lights healthy snow cone a week ahead of schedule, and tried a great apple struedel.
Too bad 99% were fugs, and most of the trucks were serving corpse chunks.
Fucking slow-ass progress.

only pure evil retard talks about ‘christ’/’kryst’ energy/anything.
only pure good beings talk as much about / speak as highly about (and only about) Auz (My) energy/way.

as much as i hate this step, i got so much done, and the deja vu ended,
and it kept me working,
and it charged my sex-drive up higher than even during puberty/adolescence.
funny how the off-putting intervals/moments/things… end up giving me the best nuts; when i finally get to what i like.
…
I always go from “idk if I’m into this anymore” to “thank god I can finally enjoy this again”. the wait works. every time.

right now ambi and the rest all seem/vibe like:
coward
spoiled
tease
useless
Were they being polite and just coming off the wrong way?
Either way, they were wrong to refuse to greet me / identify themselves.
shameful
pathetic
NOT what I asked for.
that is the bottom line.
even if it resulted in my work getting done sooner.

deja vu from this broken-record brainwashed peasant telling me about shitty overpriced rentals and houses while I finished the leftover spick food. interesting repeat. whatever.
doesn’t bother me this time; just another regurgitated “I think I can only buy and overpay” thing that only means she isn’t the one to take the next step (renting) with.
no big. nothin new, huh god

Thu15jun2023
Almost ambi and izzy on ousel falls today. If only. Just need to be shorter and no ear rings etc. Flawless elven legs n tight black spandex

Repeat of guy and wife on trail needing directions to waterfall.
No repeat on ambi-ish elven teen and short tan friend at ousel picnic pit.
Repeat of enchiladas and sopes after hot face blonde smiled grinned at me pauaing at stop sign for her.
But ambi and the others chose not to come yet, so might as well interact if the bots/repeats are that face-sexy.
Did i leave note last time? I think i just drove on.

It sucks that she chose to be cruel and dishonest like all the rest, but at least i tried with thousands, and held to my values, and was saintly supportive for a decade; I did the right things, and did my best, and found before children that she wasn’t the real Ambi I asked for.
I guess i will be alone a while longer. Whatever. Every attempted interaction was the same sign i should not bother ever.
Ugh.
Phase fucking 2.

In 2018, i hoped so hard she would meet me…and then i was left homeless again.
Now…i know from experience she won’t budge…so i just numbly count down the days until i am once again homeless.
40 years of having to live amongst these freaks; humans… Sure hasnt been fun.
Got me to do more work and realizing than i ever would if i had been treated right, but that was one hell of an unpleasant trade.
At the very least, i should have been given someone kind and compatible.
At the very least, she should have given me her contact info and celebrated all i am…just like i celebrated her and the others she ‘introduced’ me to.
It wasnt all for nothing, though; i got to be me…and i reached for what i truly want and deserve.
I never settled. I was forced to endure evil sometimes, but that was never a choice/settling.
I can’t profit from my great books yet, but i always find a way to survive.
At least i no longer fight to pretend to be positive; i let all my natural thoughts and feelings have their time.
…
I can’t help but wonder if she was just another dumb bot like the looped ones i discovered…
Even if they weren’t bots, and were evil pranksters, they acted and vibed as mindless bots, so i go with the signs and evidence.
…
I wonder what will come after this…
In 2018, i had gone from indiana to here, then to Helena, then the Exodus Training loop, then Mexico, then SoCal. Surely that crap won’t repeat like indy and b.s. did… :/
…
Time for bed again w a fool…and worry…and no reason to have faith. Fuck.
…
I lost contact after meh oasiz rp…and got way btr contact for a decade. That keeps me hoping that losing contact after meh sightings…will be just as upgraded; with her returning and staying w me for life. A long life. A great long life. Eternity.
When will those i love…love me as completely as i have loved them?
I want my next 40 years to be w her, in mutual love, raising our four we designed, always in agreement, sharing my values, in the house we agreed on, with the others she made sure i knew the personalities of…
…
I got so much travel even as a poor man;
it is possible i will now get just as much family with her and the others i chose…now that i have let go of any travel.

Fuck, if only i had one good donation. I’d be set for life.

I followed the signs…but the others never did. When only one person cares/listens, he ends up alone a while.
Smh.
Fucking humans.

“If you dont fear you have taken too much, you haven’t taken enough.”

Right as i burn out on pc again…i have a few days b4 camping, which always spurs me to rush to do all i can b4 no easy desk time. Interesting.

I am faced w the posb that ambi, like the typist, just likes to hurt ppl; note the torture RPs…and how she said the nicest things for years but 1) never followed thru, and 2) suddenly said every idiotic, insane, and uncalled for thing in the bool, practically.
The only thing that makes me consider she ISNT bad…is that she, unlike most of the others, isnt whining for attn; i have been free to think deeply and finish my work.

33 or 34 when she first showed herself;
in 2017, after the earthship, she let me see she is real, but let me think she was w someone.
In 2018, she didnt show when i tried b.s./yc, but i believe she was on that hill curb in helena that day, and the butte intersection.
In 2020, she finally let me know for sure she is real, and interested, and monitoring/spying, but still refused to introduce herself.
In 2021 after half a year or so w eli, was it the 5th time she showed herself? Or was Oceanside 6th?; if rockwall tx daytime was the 1st…
2022 passed without her showing.
2023 is half passed.
I have had Tons to do those years, and feel Great that i finally got it all done, but still; i am equal parts grateful yet worried.
40…and waiting. Is this too long? Or is 20 and 30 way too soon? Is 40 normal for gods?

Sudden wave of great kno images. More deformed “models” in some of them, tho. More phase2 meh mix.
Same w the wave of sexy novel covers.

Idk how i can feel attraction to Anyone after how long the retarded and rude bs has gone on,
and after what i learned about the “food” industry…
and the fake courts…
and on and on.
I still feel visual attraction to the rare sexy few i see…but always remember how it never once worked out appropriately…and justice still has yet to come…other than me banning so many, which is not enough.

The dog didnt get me to see hotties today. The fugs asking directions didnt either. Helping them, and letting the dog walk farther, only showed me a hundred more fugs, and resulted n me having to endure hearing they are also druggies.
Maybe i shouldnt be walking that dog after all…or at least not where ppl are.

Perfect enchilada sauces today, but damn them for the queso; everything should be vegan by now.

Feels pointless building tna model…but at least i Can…and have a btr than minecraft way…and a familiar way…
and i might as well build it and some other things; beats doing nothing while waiting on the hotties i am still hoping manifested and will answer my calling.

So fucked yp that idiot bitch typist said “i have to be nice to them” and “sure you were”; nice to the rude mute betrayers who eat baby corpses and never tell me it is them? Nice to those who showed me talk is pointless? Nice to those who get mad whether i talk or not? Nice to those who never honor My culture? Nice to those who left me to be exposed to freaks? Nice to those who never responded to me? Noce to those who gaslit me? Yeah. Makes perfect sense, asshole.

Gotta stay in ranger/marine/beast mode so i dont get mopey again.

I wonder if the looped…were paid or compelled to say the same stories from last time…
It isnt a timeloop; all calendars show 2023.
So…why/how the same flood in that 1 house?
Questions remain.
I dont really care, but it sure is a new thing, most interesting. (I can only care…if there is a point to caring; if caring would generate the explanation…and/or my ability to reveal such answers…and/or my ability to control the timestream/ppl.)

I cant truly want or miss an absentee or cowardly or unreliable bitch.
I cant truly miss a bitch i never fucked.
I cant miss a blameshifting or argumentative bitch.
I cant miss a bitch who let a blob fugtard wave at me.
I cant miss a bitch who let someone talk retard shit to me by texts…many times.
I just long for the idea of the right woman her typist sometimes pretended to be / rp as.

If she admits to the obvious spying…and says how it was done…and apologizes…and truly cares…and gets weepy at the thought she might lose me…and explains in detail why i was right about the scam, then i might give her a fair one last chance.
But seeking a decent woman -or anyone- before now…never worked. Not once.

Tired of yet another turd whining/venting about $ and selfcaused ill…but it deserves stuff like that, so it balances out.

I hate being around the fools…but i always get the most thinking and work done when no one appeals to me.
I also see how lucky or blessed or wise i am, not being looped like the others.
And timeloops dont have ongoing calendar progress.
And there was zero deja vu w the 2nd seagate…or with the Kno panties labels pics find tonight.

I wonder if any of the chicks are barely smart enough to realize just how much they fucked up; annihilating any confidence in them…so that they arent even considered anymore…for anything, their flawless faces and fashions…easily ignored.
They literally took perfection…and ruined it permanently.
They made themselves go from guaranteed yes, and from 10 status, to zero and hell fuck no.
It doesnt get any more stupid than that.
“Shooting yourself in the foot” comes to mind. More like they shot themselves in the foot, head, soul, and future.
Unreal how they fuck up that hard…and all the time.

The druggie fugs way out of shape were another sure sign i was right to not take that godawful disrespectful job offer from the hotel.
What a shameful place they r to allow scum like that to book rooms.

it occurs to me that all those “dark king” and rude and stupid messages… were the courting/screening/intro of/to her bad/wild/evil/reckless side;
she never called me dark before.
she never talked shit before.
she never got moody and overreacted and jls-la-la-ed before.
and maybe it just takes time for her to reunite with that side of her;
it keeps vibing/seeming like she really meant what she said when in mild/good form…
and like she really wanted me to help her balance herself whole again…
and like her good side got silenced completely for a while, perhaps/hopefully just to see how much of her bad/dark side i could handle/take.
and now that she knows… perhaps she will finish balancing herself out…
since her good side did win, controlling her bad side for however long, and contacting me first, and spending a decade or more with me (compared to her bad side only being a cunt to me for a matter of months or so).
i guess i’ll find out soon.

deja vu from mid-June kitchen cooking smell as I work in the rental room on the TNA dorms blueprints…
How the hell can THIS be a loop?
What was I working on in 2017/2018 here that was so similar? Was I just building (starting) my current website… and she cooked the same thing/smell?

–
It sucks having to leave every restaurant with my order so i dont have to smell poison (booze), rape (dairy), or murder (meat), and so i dont have to look at selfbloated fugtards, and so i dont get treated like shit.
But at least in this phase of life i Can always leave / get to-go. That has made my meals sooooo much more peaceful and enjoyable.
It was the right step/start.

Soooo proud of my bold honest wise beautiful genius website now : )
Sooo proud of my vision of appropriate female family members etc.

Deja vu from trying block3 togo rigatoni and being told 15mins…
Maybe they reopened after the retard(2020)shutdowns.

I am not depressed. I dont think i was ever depressed. I Have however been exposed to depressing bad Ppl.
But i always default/bounce back to peace, pride, interest, enjoyment of the great outdoors, work, art, passion, etc.; that is not depression, but amazing health and self-stability.
I’d be a billionnaire with those qualities and essence if i ever had/get a good team and fam.

This valley is so perfect…except for the food and humans.
Smh
…at least i can be glad i got to be here during my wrap-up.

Lol can’t give my card or linkedin or references to anyone…bc their kind have always misinterpreted the best of things…and bc dishonest/retarded word would get back to the dishonest/retarded covidiot.
Soooo tired of having to lie to these idiotic beasts just so i can have temporary shelter and less demonic backtalk.

Using the humanimals for food is clearly the only thing they almost do well, but they still get a giant F at That; bc they use bad ingredients, and let covidiots touch some of it, and sell it with bad stuff, and always look like crap when i am trying to go buy the decent stuff, and i have to search for it bc it is always surrounded by crap.

Lol dreamed my phone kept not taking pics, so i got mad and bent and bit it.
Then -lol again- had another unpleasant no-ambi dream; somehow a black rectangular shiny rock or gemstone slice, idfk, represented her, and caught fire, and i put it in neck-level snow to put out the fire, but it kept burning even when i moved an extra couple handfuls of snow on it.
Yeah, yeah; that could represent a love that endures, but she has yet to demonstrate any good qualities, so it’s just another unwanted experience/dream, and a reminder of all the emotional pain she caused, whether via her garbage typist or whatever.

Being good and tolerant and charitable and smart to others never helped or made them be good,
just as lying to morons won’t ever stop the good from existing;
bad stay bad, and good stays good, no matter what.
In other words, i have nothing to worry about; no matter what i say or do, i keep surviving, keep getting trips, keep getting $, keep defeating losers/rude, etc.
My dream keeps taking greater and perfect shape.
It has a momentum and destiny. I do. It and I do. It and I are one.

It was never a past experience that i kept dwelling on; it has been the ongoing daily present experiences that keep showing me all those “signs” are so far signs to Not try teaming up.

Lol at the nice reviews i leave. If only the humanimals were smart enough to understand that those r just attempts to focus on the good…and that they all still deserved to be razed off the planet for how bad their appearances and vibes and all were.

“Is she rich?” Lol idfk. Hopefully. Bitch hasnt told me yet.
Also, no one is rich by my standard.
Even the yc is severely lacking.
It’s just the 1 place in this laughable illegitimate country that i can tolerate.
Real talk.

It is interesting that all that military and college and travel stuff happened…in spite of the evil conditions…and my shaky faith and focus…
but the good behavior still hasnt;
why did some things manifest/surge in abundance in spite of poverty…while other things didnt?
I wanted the nice ppl Way more than all that other stuff.
My focus was Always on finding good ppl.
But being w good ppl…always has a way of ending anything else, so i suppose it was alright back then that i never found any; inisfree truly became the best city this world will ever know…bc there was nothing else worth me paying attention to.

If ever ppl clean up their godawful act, even though their kind will never deserve anything at this point, i would still resume tolerating and interacting. I know me.
Even after all those evil dogs and spicks, i still default to niceness w this latest noisy runt.

2nd time seeing 2 hot air balloons here. And they remind me of my hot air balloon date overseas w Ariel So proud every time Ambi calls me her husband. And I cou

Memory refresh. Deja vu. Gallatin fairgrounds saturday farmers market expensive vegan cheeses, crackers, etc., w some little tomatoes and a cluster of mixed lettuce.
Was here n jeep last time, running out of $, stressed and depressed, about to have to abandon bigsky.
This time, numb and relaxed, flexible, having learned to not wait or hope or expect anything from the goddamn whatevers…other than delicious vegan treats.

–
teaching is my passion? it WOULD be; if ppl BEHAVED and deSERVED my knowledge.
but since they never Have, wiping them Out is my passion. counter-igNoring them is my passion. my passion is always doing what is right and needed, and right now… That is what is right and needed.

i wasn’t the impatient or unfair or unreasonable one; i waited a decade/more, i was completely open/honest with her, i gave every possible way of contacting me, and all i ever asked for was the most basic of greetings/confirmations.
she, on the other hand, stayed hidden, and seemed impatient/moody, and snapped by text at times, and never once honored normal manners / my culture, and left me wondering and starving and homeless and disrespected.
i tried to embrace All of her. she… talked shit. or wouldn’t show up and talk at All.
complete bitch.

bottom line: was she fun to be around? she wasn’t even around to begin with, let alone fun.
was she educated, smart, accurate, and protective of our children/family/future? no.
was she polite? no.
was she honest and open and fair with me? no.
did she help when i needed help? no; she tested/taunted/abandoned me.
did she even let me know she was real, not just a character? no. even when she showed up, she refused to say a single fucking word to me, but was perfectly fine talking to the disgusting disgrace blobs. why initiate with them but not me? because it was never about fairness or logic or decency or reciprocation.
has she put her money where her mouth is, or has she been all-talk so far? all-talk; so far, it was just RP; she hasn’t proven to me she actually wants the family she kept saying/RPing she did.

as much as I WANT more detail in computer programs, there’s really no need at this stage.
as much as I WANT ambi and the other hotties, I wouldn’t have time for them yet.
as much as I WANT help with my projects, the initial/foundational part has to be all/only me.
it is what it is.

if ambi is the reason no one would talk to me…
and if she was trying to make herSelf look like the only one who was nice to me…
she sure did “shit the bed” with her approach; not talking to me herSelf, etc.

either they didn’t hear my call, thus they are deaf/mute/useless/incompatible/evil,
or they heard my call and chose to ignore me/it, thus they are deaf/mute/useless/incompatible/evil.
Either way, they deserve to be purged.

6:45-6:46pm on Saturday 17 June 2023: deja vu… and a faint/returning memory of having designed a similar AIOW with same color-scheme / blocks (pink-ish adobe)… before. a clone? another life? a time-loop? a similar project at this very desk in 2017/2018? not sure…
but definitely have a memory of painstakingly forming an AIOW much/just like this TNA one in Creativerse…
curious.
a good thing/sign? (because I keep working on the same great/heavenly thing/s)
…
even if a loop/repeat somehow, or of some part/thing, it is still so nice/lovely to get to work on this today, especially with the heavy rainfall during daylight/sunset outside <3

another prime/perfect example of how being in this unwanted waypoint/pause… and making Creativerse… wasn’t as pointless/kill-time as I thought;
making TNA… just showed me a miscalculation in the dorms/students-capacity of the TNA webpage 🙂
…
and it helped me spot and use unused space/s in some of the AIOWs 🙂

comPLETEly different feeling/vibe/mood this 2nd time here in bs/yc; in 2018, i was stressed, nervous, depressed, overworked, uncertain, and had TONS i still hadn’t even THOUGHT of, let alone started to publish and comPuter-model. This time? feels like EVERYTHING is done, all typos spotted and fixed, etc.

even if the footage of slaughterhouses was fake/cgi, veganism is still right.
even if all before was an illusion or hologram or whatever else, my choices were and are always right.
i am the way, no matter what, at all times.
my nature and instincts and culture and everything else are the supreme/best/holiest.
and everyone who was rude, or anything else i didn’t like, is wrong and felonious and toxic and stupid.

caring about what anyone else thinks/feels, especially after how evil all have been so far, is as overly-submissive and beta-male and retard and evil as it could get.
good thing i no longer care what anyone wants/needs.
if they were good, they’d prioritize / only care about what i want and need.

further turning-off-lights in the Creativerse TNA model showed more overlaps I now fixed,
and leaving the sound on while tabbing back and forth to porn during the lag/loads revealed the Ocean-claims TNA is built on/in make the perfect soothing sexy sound; waves, seagulls, breeze, etc.

I’m really glad I have all the computer models now,
and that I didn’t finish writing the novels until after I had these details to put in them.
I’m really glad I spotted all the issues on the webpages and in the computer models.
I wouldn’t have been able to if things had worked out/well with the hotties before; I’d naturally be far more/too interested in just spending time with them instead.
Maybe they somehow knew I needed every minute of all these past years to think up and get all that done,
and maybe they were only allowed to show up looking good, so they smiled their best smiles, and hoped it helped me, and longed for more with me just as I have longed for more with them.

No matter who reads this website or imagines some of what is described here, it stays manifested perfectly, just as I had intended/wanted, and that includes everything in Inisfree, and everyone I chose to be allied with me, amen.

Got offered 900 like i hoped…and didnt have to ask…so…again…grateful but confused; why not offered my hotties and backpay and city????????

Gross how ambi was so far like tsb and others; never there, yet always quick to give condescension and bad advice and lies.
… :/

“Are you still in contact / communicating?” …The answer reminds me how much i hate her; we only had remote contact, then a handful of completely disappointing encounters, and then she cut contact, but only after wasting a decade of my time and talking down to me like the idiot she was.
Oh, and then she harassed me when i was waking up, projecting her angry face from my camo backpack.
Oh, and she harassed me w angry fire eyes in dreamspace dark table room. Cunt wouldnt even respect my sleep.
It didnt vibe as a clever and welltimed breakup to expedite my wrapup.
It vibed as her being a dumbass and heartless.
So, in short, i am now glad we are not in contact via phone rn.
What a monster she kept being.
Jfc.

Even though darkAmbi/typist deserves my hate, nothing else could have isolated me more and skyrocketed my already skyhigh work ethic. So she serves a purpose. Not a fun one, but still results in great byproducts.

The celestine was still deep n phase1, thus backward; those “signs” were an attempt to dominate, steer, and sidetrack/slow me. It was really i who was generating the only good signs, and others who kept choosing to disrespect those signs.
But that by itself was a sign; the sign it was not at all time to talk, follow, or team up, but keep evading, isolating, becoming me, etc.

Being asked to buy a camper is so retarded.
I should be offered ambi and the others, not a camper.
I should be donated to, not asked for more $.
Sick world. Failure species. Failing gods.
And i shouldnt be given lame leads to more work i dont do. Where r the ppl wanting to donate to My work?
Where r the smart ppl i dont have to Lie to?

finally SUPER organized.
deja vu / repeat-feel of tight black pants blonde mermaid/goddess/angel hair walking by, on phone, with black dog on leash, as I packed in same spot I probably used in 2018.
interesting.
she still hasn’t learned any manners.
whatever.
lame bots/humanimals/amerifails.

no matter how broken-record the humanimals/covidiots are, they still pay taxes, i don’t, and i still use them as assets/stepping-stones.
no matter how trivial/childish/pointless “gaming”/computer-modeling all day may Seem to Some, it is still me in victory/OFP-mode; it is still me spending ALL my time working on what matters to ME, holding MY vision, being the dominant one / king. amen to that.

when i was Always willing and trying to talk to them,
and they were Always unwilling and reFusing to talk to me,
yet the bitch Still verbal-diarrhea-s / gaslights, “why don’t you Talk to them??”,
and
when they Obviously knew it was me, and were waiting for me, etc.,
yet I Never knew who they were, or why they had come, as they had never made a Peep,
yet the bitch Still verbal-diarrhea-s / gaslights, “they don’t know it’s Youuuu.”…
that makes her the most retarded, evil, blameshifting, lying bitch alive.
…
I talked, they didn’t, then she pretended I was the one not talking.
Same with that retard troll-piercing matalyn/madalyn.
Unbelievable how blatantly they lie, and how always they lie.
as sexist as it gets.

fat old “man” at the store “it’s my first day here”. sure it is, asshole robot NPC. just like last time in 2018.
why the fuck do they even make these bots talk? oh, yeah, because it’s one more inappropriate and unasked-for and uncalled-for thing whoever made them likes to keep them doing. gay.
why the fuck would i want to talk to them, given how hideous they are?
why the fuck would i have any reason to talk to them, given that they made it painfully obvious they are looped bots?

the only thing that matters is whether they are attractive and fuckable, and so far they aren’t.
they’d be perfectly acceptable if they, even as bots, were at least those 2 basic/baseline things.

Massive wave after massive wave of perfection and wrapups, and the dumping rain matches.
How i want my loves to show up here and explain everything, and respect me, and hook up with me for eternity.

The lag forces me to get up at intervals (i.e. move/exercise/balance) instd of parking all day and jumping from one mega project to the next.
The lag also reminds me of the lulls and “nights”.

The term narcisist is yet another classic/textbook example of weaponizing language, and the medical/”doctor” equivalent of hypochondriac (and demonizing and gaslighting), meaning not a tendency to make up diseases one has, but a tendency to make up diseases/disorders Others have (in hopes of convincing them to pay for fake treatment they never needed), and only those other than me are narcisists when they think they have any importance i did not grant them.
…
Anyone who is hypersubmissive to fake beings/deities is the other extreme end of the spectrum; inflated sense of non-worth / unworthiness.

Going in to turn off lights…showed me floor holes i didnt patch; ended up helping

Fruitarian diet…but still not sure why

I have to face the very real possibility that whoever that was… is a moron and evil and not gonna meet me halfway at all ever.
She may have been all talk.
She may have just been a spy and a paid attempt to derail me via offspring.
I might be on my own and poor for … ever.
All I can do is park here and wait however long the vision takes to manifest, manifesting nothing else until then.
Thankfully, I have already seen how poorly things were/manifested/answered elsewhere, so I feel no more calling to go check those places/ppl.

She didnt just tell me what i wanted to hear to see what i would say or was into;
she actually showed up a few times.
So… I guess now all I can do is wait to see if she will show up for real this time; to talk, to unite w me, etc.
Was she just trying to ‘butter me up’ / lure me into spawning? Didnt vibe that way; vibed as her wanting a fam…and a partner to terrorize the evil humans.

The lag resulted in a convo, and an analyst finding my pc is not the issue, and 3 free autoCAD versions : )

3rd time at roxy for vegan bagel pic lol. Finally got it.

Every time i disregard a bitch, or they disregard me, i get way more wrapped up.

I never lost contact w her; i never had contact to begin with. i had contact w a blob asshole. Not cool. On so many levels.
But… it means i may Start contact…so that’s nice / a hope.
Also, i never had contact w Any of them. So…she remains not special in any way.

Peering into my life…and letting me run on fumes… Letting me have nervous breakdowns…
Smh.
Idk how to keep making excuses for that.
All that tech and money and awareness…and she chose to use it to neglect me and talk shit.
Every little detail posted for YEARS about what i seek and love…and hate…and she and the others chose to do the opposite, then gaslight me, blaming me for not being polite…to ppl i didnt even know were there wanting to meet me.
Why didnt she use her spying and awareness and experience…to teach or even force ppl to do what i like and asked for?
Why didnt she acknowledge the obvious fact i had no way of knowing who wanted to meet me?…bc no one ever said a fucking Word, not One appointment request, Nothing.
And what kind of an idiot spends more than a DECADE preTending to be something…and then never actually living it?
If she wanted kids, especially w me, she annihilated that possibility…

This show is standard boring gross garbage, and makes me wish i was watching a good show…w ambi…if she had been good to me. Ugh.

I wouldnt really be taking her back…if sue came back; we have not yet been together; it was just writing w a typist/middleperson.
Still, …the typist was unbelievably stupid and bad, and the random-and-few-appearances woman was… Smh. What a waste. What a disgrace. What an absolute bastard.
Sometimes i hate that i chose her…
but no more than all the others who mistreated me the very same way for the same amount of time.

Can’t wait to be away from the fugtard covidiot. Jfc.

Howwww i hope the tables finally turn; so i can be the one to be rude and condescending and neglegent while all the Humans struggle and beg and stress and go without.
So i can bully Them.
So i can Farm them.
So i can Tax them.
So i can force them into cages and war.
So i can shame them.
So i can dictate their culture and curricula.
So i can separate their families.
All they did…shall be done to them.
And since they were never fair, karma will not be proportional; infinitely more bad shall befall their kind than they did –even when counting the animals they bred into rape and torture lives.

I even volunteered for wars…
So the fact that that typist, clearly as braindead as it was fat and ugly, had the retardation to think or claim iii was the rude one? That means only one thing, and the vibe confirms it; it was as stupid, dishonest, toxic, evil, and worthless as they come.
She should have been over the Moon with how polite I always was.

I still wonder why they all always just stared or sat or smiled…
They owe me an explanation.
Why did they all chopse to keep phase2 so rough and cold?

Dreamlog Tue20june2023:
Dreamed i went to a desert site with a cylinder of concrete wide down to a cave rubble pile w primitive ppl down there, looked down in at them, warned them they needed to give up our guy they had/took down there, and said to my team w me on the sandy surface we should get rockets and grenades to start convincing them.
…
Then dreamed i was amidst germans somewhere in europe? Ww2 dark uniforms/fatigues gray? In an industrial area with a 1story wall, by a riverbank, and a street to it, and a somewhat heavy box with a metal grill-like thing i bent forward down over it away from me until it touched/covered the top of that car-battery-like box, causing a detonation that blew up most of the military cargo trucks and troops, but i was fine somehow. Then was outside the wall, on the street, seeing many short yellow flowers on the grass at the top of the riverbank beaide the concrete street now mostly cleared of vehicles bc the blast had blown them away but not the flowers or trees.
…
Then was back-engineering flying saucers with little handheld scale model parts, all dark discs/saucers with tiny 3prong discs/lights i pressed through their maleable model hulls. Several other young men sat at a table with me, all in black fatigues, seeming/vibing as timid or curious or ordered to stay silent as i spoke, except for when i got up to walk away from the cafeteria-like tables/room we had the saucer models on. The models were on 2 tables there. I walked back and told one of those guys still seated at my table that it would be ideal/perfect if i could travel via piggybacking on those saucers, using them and the airbases where they were back-engineered / tested like airports.

I never got in my own way; i contacted the rich, the gods, the hotties, etc.
THEY got in my way; THEY chose rudeness, anti love, anti truth, anti respect, anti health, etc.
They and their corrupt/fake system turned me off to them.

They kept trying to shame me for being me and normal and good and loving.
They kept pretending crimes had veen committed.
They kept pretending they alone had the right to call rules laws.
They kept making up false gods.
They kept shaming beauty and health.
They kept trying to dominate via claims about signs.
They never once asked Me what My signs were or how to interpret me.
They kept defaulting to tantrums at my pure goodness.
They got angry when i honestly and professionally answered their questions.
Never once did they stop being bad, rude, negative, evil, abusive.
Never once.
My website and computer models are the only real sign, i now see.
I was always the only real wisdom and god and ascended master.
The only story that mattered/s is mine.
And another real indicator/guide/sign is that they always tried to distract/derail, whereas i always caused surges in cleanup, efficiency, savings, etc.; the opposite of the celestine was true; NOT trying to team up w them, and NOT looking for good where there clearly was none, was what Always lead to more travels, breakthroughs, healing, etc.
I am the only sign.
All i do is the only good and right.
And i shall no longer ask them for their bs jobs.
I shall wait for them to ask to fund the job i have already been doing so masterfully.
I won’t wait or look for bravery or manners anymore; they clearly have none/neither.
I shall just keep being me, and keep counter-lying smoothly to their lowly nonthinking kind. I do what has worked.
Honesty and love never worked on them.

a covidiot with a nigger-rodent talking shit at a fake character on the brainwashing-box, saying how bad the character is treating people. wow. what irony. what retardation. what social blindness.

having to leave… is what got me to tidy up my vehicle to near perfection.
having no hope from those i seek yet… is what got me to finish my site / life’s-work wrap-up.
it all works out.
at least… i am the one who always Makes things work well/professionally.

matalyn/madalyn was wrong, just as it vibed; the exact same opportunities/bitches were in the exact same places in multiple states the better part of a decade later. without me having to find them. without me having to ask or pray for it. they were just looped/still there.
interesting.

One more sign i am not meant to play EVE Online rn: my account name stopped showing up after i reopened the launcher after 2 more black screens.

Ended up parked at same chips and dip lunch cul de sac as 2018. Iris Meadow Dr. Wow. What r the odds

As stressed as i still feel, i know a lot of ppl would love to be able to do what i do; game/design all day, explore randomly, leave everyone the moment they choose rudeness/lies/evil, etc.

I wonder if Anyone is real; not looped mindless scum like i saw here and in Indiana.

Perfect timing again; campsites scouting the day after i framed the last club and refound the Downtown Addresses bmp.

Finally got/set my EVE p-word. It was so simple and quick this time. In years past, it seemed such a chore/headache.
and now the 2 match; alignment; a phase 2 thing becoming ideal/perfect/right; phase3 starting.
Something this small/minute/trivial getting wrapped up… along with everything else… makes me think that EVERYthing will become right; how I always wanted, even the hotties finally having their personalities corrected to be what I always wanted.
We’ll see.

and now for the latest/next lull/interval/intermission/cooloff to begin.
i wish i could just go right to being with ambi and the others i chose/summoned,
but… freeing my mind from all that has completely occupied it… sure seems/feels/vibes like a good / the right idea;
if i didn’t take time to decompress from all the work/focus, i would still be half-consumed/distracted from the hotties/loves when they finally return / show up.
it’s also good to use this paradise to relax, do nothing, enjoy just “being”, etc.

–
These extra years were needed to finish all those designs,
and showed me some i chose are real,
and that their looks are exactly what i had in mind and deserve,
and that the exodus will need total firepower/force if it ever goes the pan-am route.
These years showed me a lot of useful stuff.

More white hairs on one side… : /
but they are still marks of victory and self-discipline…

The only way all those awful nonppl make sense… is if gods used them to keep reminding me to never trust humans or show them any mercy; to make sure i mop up or deport every last one of them, letting only those who totally submit to my control stay on this world.

Everything is so perfect here… except the ringing and humans.

Camping scouting in 24hrs…
Homeless once again

I got the best schools, best military branch, best travel, best mind, best heart, best revelations of history, best diet, free luxury vehicle, best valley town, best idea, best website, …and the best women have shown interest…so it seems I should have faith I will also get the best hotties and family…
It’s just so goddamn unnerving when they take this long to show any love or openness at all.
But one thing at a time.
The Corps would not have been possible if I had Inisfree on my mind then, and Inisfree/website would not have been possible if I already had my family, and I want to focus entirely on her/them when it is their turn.
Amen.
Please come home to me sopn, baby. Ambi. I miss you so goddamn much.
I need you to be the one.
Stop being so goddamn secretive and cold. You’re supposed to be whole now, unlocked, balanced…

If she is smart and the one, she will know/feel that all my venting and rage…is because of all my passion and love and standards and need of her.

Finally got Sovereignty queued in EVE. A sign?
It will be trained in ~3 years… :/
I hope my IRL sovereignty comes much sooner. Like…now.

All i can do when no one will be polite to me…is keep working on myself.
Do i allow those who were not with me during my struggle…to be with me during my success?
Only if they show heartfelt care for me and no pride against apologizing to me.

I am not wrong to drive by the dance event. I am right to avoid those who are not my ppl. I am also a hero and a saint for still scouting and giving chances after all these revolting encounters over DECADES.

The one thing keeping me from hating her…is that she didnt interrupt my work.
But now that my work is wrapped up, i will hate her if she continues hiding and not living up to what she wrote to me.
That is fair.

Another new wave of vegan perfection,
and now the realization that Inisfree has 51 bars; in its clubs

After how mindblowingly awesome Cush turned out, i kinda Want to model the remaining clubs

Irlj wed21jun2023.
3rd time seeing hot air balloons in bs/yc.
Latest attempt, and 3rd, going to my dreamhome, this time being the 1st during summer. Walked both sides. Loved it. It is perfect. Made my declaration prayer.
Still no ambi or ariel or faith here yet… :/
When?
Why won’t they at least call and schedule our move-in?

Memory refresh. I went up the lift to Namaste and Middle Ching years ago, had a can of soup same spot…wow lol

1st time making 2 or 3 trips to dreamhouse same day : )
If only ambi would call or run out to wave me in.

The bad jobs and roommates still make it easy to do my work, and pay for me to scout, and show me where to avoid.

364
It was good that no one was there. Not ideal, but better than if the Wrong ppl had been there.
Another phase2 sign/marker :/
At least it wasnt what i dreaded.
…
I won’t go back there again. 2x today, 1 or 2x when it was snowy this past season, 1 or 2x back in 2018, etc.; several attempts, and no love from ambi yet.
…
They did a great job w the paving of the guard shack/s beside the gatehouse.
Looks great.

If ambi wasnt all talk, she’ll call, text, meet me, etc.
There’s no more point in my scouting/camping or doing pc work.

Tried to be nice again, and it was an acne face : (
Why?

Fruitarian test started

I was honest. She wasnt.
I was healthy. She wasnt.
I was fair. She wasnt.
I didnt spy on her. She spied on me.
I never left her hangin. She left me hangin so long i had nervous breakdowns and homelessness.
Not just her; they all did that.

My instinct told me to join the corps…but the jarheads were all shit.
My instinct told me to do all that rp/co-creation, but the other writers were all shit.
My instinct told me to explore as much as I could, and volunteer, and learn from all, but all countries, farms, and schools were shit.
… :/

I let go of rjh and got anm.
Let go of anm and got usmc.
Let go of usmc and got jeep.
Let go of all those shit jobs and schools and bitches, and got travel.
Let go of usa and got pyramids.
Let go of panamerican hwy and almost/sorta got ambi twice…
Let go of her bs and got wrap-up.
Let go of the wrap-up…so now what am i gonna get?
Each offering/get was btr.

Ppl should now text and email, saying my site is perfect and a turn on, and ask me to fuck their hot wives, daughters, girlfriends, etc.
It is definitely time for socialization.
Theyve had long enough to calibrate / unfuck themselves.
Did they? Will they?

Best crepe i ever had; asparagus, salmon, and some kinda sauce.
Did i try it in 2018?

Lol ofc the very first pg in tye very first comic/book i tried at the little public library hut stand n the plaza has a character that looks like ambi. :/
Thanks for the reminder she is still n secret mode somewhere. : (

They all treated me like shit whether i initiated or not. They all deserved severe beatings and banishment or death. My blood knows. They all tried to wear me out into always initiating, always compromising, always tolerating…but i outlasted them all. I showed them that it is they who must initiate and behave. And since i had to teach them that most basic and universal truth, none of them are worthy, and their species shall be wiped clean.

“You should buy my camper” is retarded on so many levels; i told u i was here for a house, not a camper. Why the fuck would you think i “Should” do Anything a pharma junkie says? I havent even Seen your camper. I just this moment told you i have no trailer hitch. I am already renting. My vehicle has plenty of room. Humans pay Me to do things; i Dont pay Them. Etc.

Being on Pioneer mt…and pioneering it myself…sure kept me in the moment, unable to fume as much, but didnt get ambi to appear, so doing dangerous solo stuff doesnt work…

It would have been more depressing still being in that covidiot rental. Way btr to camp out here. But it is sucky phase2 and a repeat. Wth??? When is phase THREE???????

No internet…so no way to do updates…so i am left w just my body and thoughts. After so many years of all-day work, ofc i feel stressed. I feel relieved she and the others exist, but angry and sad and confused and disgusted that they all chose to disrespect me by dangling themselves. How can i trust them to be fam…when they stayed so hidden until recently? Once again, the clock ticks…toward another freeze and scramble…bc not one of them showed any manners or compatibility at all. Fucking hell. What a bitter mixed bag.

Pretty sure i saw [the blonde in tight outfit jogging from plaza to hood last farmer market] again…and she was middleaged and bagface; my instinct was right to stop me from pursuing her… unless that was a dif one. Maybe her daughter? Either way, fucked up that she didnt acknowledge me; there is no pt in anyone existing if they dont care about me.
Then saw ambi-hair w green-highlights cluster…but she too was not great upon approach. Then saw a blonde elven abercrombie ish teen…but w fam…and not great dace upon drive around. More signs.

Memory refresh. Pretty sure i parked here n jeep n 2018 to fleshlight. Last time was upsetting. This time is numb. Still can’t believe n all those years all those ppl chose to disrespect and neglect me when i gave so many options… Last time here the rain was depressing. This time, it is soothing and concealing and waves of relief after letting those waves of updates being to manifest.

All uglies n town today… Even the hot Ever After Happy alpaca blonde teen blushing dollface…needed work; thinner legs, etc. Why so many signs i should Not engage w ppl? I want my dreamfamily! I want their contact info! I want to be invited to their places! I shouldnt have to keep it all tgthr on my own this long!

Based on everything so far, it looks like i was offered darkAmbi First; all the stupidity, rudeness, coldness, excuses, unreliability, etc.

Having tons of steamy pics and vids prepped long in advance really helped. Always takes the edge off.

How can i have faith…after seeing her …and realizing she spied…and hides…and wasnt reciprocating at all? How can i have faith they/this will get btr? I hate the waiting between work and next chapter/step.

I deserve ppl who interpret me the correct way; positively

I hate resorting to porn. Never liked it. Never been an addict. But ppl just havent been attractive/sexy… Some had Some sexy features, but overall unbelievable behavior. I want my porn years to be over…bc ambi and the other hotties start being sexy for me.

I hate waiting this long for my first love…and for my nature to be respected. Fuck. 40 years… Unbelievable. Why? I gave respect EVERYWHERE.

I like that even after all the abuse…my sex drive is still as high as my teenage years.

I wonder if she knew she would get blocked after not being there for me this long…and after shit talking…and letting her typist say the dumbest lies ever. Did she rp with me not to court me, but to cause emotional pain? Did she show up and not introduce herself…to cause me pain? Did they All do it for that reason?

I’m supposed to be enjoying this river sound and all else w ambi and our children by now. Ahhhhh!!!!!!! >:((

In phase1, they harassed me. In phase2, they neglected and disrespected me…and still tried phone harassment.

Maybe i should relax and enjoy these solo times… They might not happen n phase3…and they always work out…and the hotties do at least show up and know it is me…

She didnt switch to saying offputting shit after i didnt greet her possible manifestations in az and ca after mex; she had been saying and doing offputting bs all along; losing contact, not meeting up, not giving real contact info. Sure, i needed alone time to notice and resolve all remaining wrapup issues, but still. Why does me being loving and open and giving and polite…still result in disrespect, lies, and resorting to camping alone?? Doesnt make any sense. This is supposed to be phase2 or 3… Getting the opposite of what i give is phase1 shit.

Ss kara and ashton, kara and mara

The typist was clearly brainwashed about many things, and a phase2 mix, and i am not destined for phase2. Instd of “if you are ready to father your own grandchild” Should have been “I am so proud I made oir daughters sexy enough for my heavenly uncompromising husband, and I will make sure they are educated to understand they can control whether they get pregnant, and I am sure their nature is to do whatever you want, so they will not get pregnant.” And “no touching!” Should have been “I was married to my brother, so whatever you do with yours, my daughters, is perfect normal, understandable, hot, and even tradition.

The weirdest/dumbest thing of all is how so many wanted me to have kids…yet they bullied me and pulled that vax insanity and did evetything opposite of what would make Anyone want kids. So fucking insane… I literally gave them THOUSANDS of examples of what i am into, and was open to girls from Anywhere, and even published my contact info, and they Still didnt accept those Easy and Very reasonable/kind/generous offers. …bc they only want mindless parroting and control, not actual kids. They dont want me having free smart healthy kids, apparently.

They have no justification for being mad at me, or giving me the silent treatment like this, when i chose respectfulness and availability, while they ignored everything that matters to me, staying secretive. That “you have to be respectful when you meet them / sure you were” retard leak still enrages me; none of them Said it was them, so i politely kept moving, seeking them. Smh. What a toxic stupid sexist bitch that typist was. And a godamn spy. Coward. Demonizer.

What a dif life it would be if all the hotties i saw had been nice to me… Will they start now?

Why wouldnt they show up and behave sanely/normally when i was INTERESTED? Why wait until they had Disinterested me, and then do Everything that Obviously disinterests me Further? This shit doesnt make Any sense yet…

When i powered thru my instincts, i got kelsi, ame, jls, and the 3 bar girls who blamed me for 1 jumping on her own ass; idiots i didnt deserve, and no payoff for my bravery… My instincts keep telling me “don’t; they keep trying to use you for money or sperm. Don’t; they are bait. Don’t; thousands behaved insanely, not just badly. Don’t; you are too busy for another deliberate sabotage.” Etc. … I want to be around hotties who make my instincts tell me “Do; yes; she is one who loves you and is loyal to you.”

I dont feel called to read any more plant books; ashton should be here w pamela etc. showing me.

I wish every vehicle passing by this campsite was ambi and the other loves of mine coming to tell me to come home to 364 w them…
…
I can’t help but hate the abusive typist, and the idiotic in-person, and hope for the one i wrote about.

Memory refresh. Taylor fork rd. Did i really sleep here n my jeep?? Jesus… I really hate ambi for making me do this twice now. Hell, i hate them all. When will i love them for being w me…as much as i have hated them for not?

Now she has spied and seen what drives me nuts…so will she be a good woman with that knowledge; will she use it to ensure, as she wrote in those vows, that i am loved and my feelings respected?

Went way farther into taylor fork…than the concrete public toilet intersection last time…and found cozy tree alcoves rocks campfire circle sites proper. Just wish my loves were here so we could fuck each other to sleep.

Felt so much better sleeping on flat hard vehic surface than that damn smash bed, but sleep was broken; woke a dozen times or more

Why did all of them refuse manners, introductions, good vibes, correct expressions…?

I remind myself to stop wanting and weeping, and to instead just last however long this takes, and to be manly and resilient and proud of my dominant strength.

So glad i spared myself from meeting yet another loser beta male who puts his dick in fugtards

Do i hate her for not letting me into the house she said we already own? Did she lie about that like the other things? Do i like her for reserving that house for us? I deserve my member pass and door key.

Fantastic breakfast of banana, avocado, apple, lentil soup, chips, and water

2 herds of semi wild horses this morning

Memory refresh. Whits lake dirt road loop end and mile trail i chose not to hike last time.

They should beg me to move into 364. They should pay me what they charge the humans for those properties. I should never be asked for more and more. I should never be asked to change or work more or do anything other than be myself. That should be more than enough to get invitations and pay Everywhere.

Considering she may have seen through time and cleverly planned our interactuon and breakup…is giving her a lot more credit than anyone on this world so far has come anywhere close to earning. I think she just sucks at bravery and relationships and honor…and love. Still, even if she cowardly used me, i behaved as myself, i wrapped up my work, and i rejected all evil offers below my blood instinct standard / wisdom.

DarkAmbi should have always loved my sexual appetite, and should have offered to go on purge dates w me. LightAmbi should have always been sweet to me and loved being called sweet. Both should have been present in person. Both should have loved all I am. Both should have been smart enough to know i am right about pharma and all else. DarkAmbi should have been eager to tell me about the Darkness Dimension. Ambi pg all. LightAmbi and DarkAmbi do not fear each other, and they team up with each other so that I get TLC from LightAmbi when others want wild sex w her, and so I and our children get wild sex w her when others need her tlc or regal/asexual side. In other words, often, if not always, 2 ambis in our 364 home.

Maybe i was led back to these remote campsites just for more peaceful undisturbed wanking. Lol. Phase fucking2.

Not saying hi, and giving me the most basic respect, and their numbers and emails and addresses and donations, mean they dont trust or have faith in good, aren’t fair, and are spoiled/”entitled”. Or were. Maybe they finally unfucked all that.

Sooo nice to not hear junkie coughing, or smell poison coffee, every goddamn day

The only reason any talked shit about my lifestyle/balance…is bc they didnt want happy healthy playful normal natural ppl; they wanted scared exhausted worker slaves who only fuck to breed more of the same.

The vegan activists were met from afar…bc they clearly still lack a lot of what my blood knows i rightly require.
…
and i already have a cause i raise awareness about; inisfree

They werent trying to encourage bravery from me. They were trying to train/force pussywhipped/chasing/corruption. If they wanted bravery, they would have seen i was brave since childhood rooftop ladder and gf defense, and certainly after usmc and solo expeditions.

Memory refresh hilltop campsite wood fence cliff south of wade lake

I always gave my best, it was never enough for them, and they always did their worst, so now they get nothing from me

I spent years spelling out everything i would accept, and waiting, and teaching, and only asking for health and fairness, and they Still havent gotten anything right.

At least the roomtard was good for campsites info i would not have found/retried otherwise

Finally they patched that fourcorners pothole

I got just the right amount of sun on pioneer mt

Maybe she only showed up n public bc her guards could blend in

Ended up driving thru blackbull hood anyway; where the jewbeast used to co-own a shit house. Saw another failbot scottering ahead; wrong legs form.

Talking to wrong ppl”? There should never Be any wrong ppl.

Prayer didnt work. Waiting didnt work. So now “squeaky wheel gets the grease”.

That work required solo…and frustration…and wouldnt have been right to do in the 364. 364 is for fam time only.

The least that goddamn bitch could have done is told me not to bother going to the house yet. Save me some goddamn gas money. Jesus.

Another concert full of fugs and murder rape “food”; endless bad signs for 40 yrs… Jfc.
But it heats sitting in the car at a campsite :/
I seriously hate the hotties rn.
And god ofc
Wth.
What a fucked up civilization.

No pt writing anymore since all that manifested/answered were rude bitches.

Only 1 almost hottie; spandex pants, muscle shirt, top ponytail, hispanic elven face, small workout backpack, …and she was resting bitch face and too tall and made no effort to speak.
A sea of mutants and glutons…and 1 almost hot…who behaved as badly as the rest.

All the fugs certainly make me feel btr about my homeless appearance… :/

Smh; shit concert music. Slow, depressing, uninspired. Sounds like a knockoff of tom petty.
Another handful of almost hots…but too tall…and not interacting.
How fucked that i would rather listen from a portashitter than endure the view of fugs.
At least it is an easy way to see a bigger chunk of the local pop.
I guess all that is left is for me to make peace with being betrayed and left to die in my car.
Did not expect that as the echo/response to manners, honor, waiting…

Memory refresh. Being too warm during the 2018 concert, just like today, walking the same townhouses street loop, dreading another lonely camping night, wondering why god keeps doong this to me. No ambi.
I sure did give my love to the wrong one…
: (
but, again, at least i was honestly loving…and willing…and enduring…
Why the hell did she just barely show up and then keep chickening out? Her vibe was of interest, not disinterest…

In 5 months, if she isnt with me, what the fuck will i do?

Inisfree didnt start. (or, if it did/has, I didn’t get to go there when I first chose/wanted)
The exodus didnt happen. (or, if it did/has, I wasn’t part of it –although that is probably for the best; avoiding more of the dumbass humans)
Ambi showed up 4 or 5 times but our fam didnt happen. (yet)
I told so many… I asked so many… I blogged and websited…
I just wanna have 364 be my home w her…and my city and ppl be there for me at mt.k.
Why is that so much to ask?
Why does it take this long?

If i had known how ugly this town was, and how depressing this lame music was gonna b, and how bad the food trucks, i wouldnt have come to this concert.
Fuck this chapter/bs.

Flawless few faces but ruined w paint and piercings

Well i met the guy (shannon) anyway. Seems alright. Still…why him and these crowd ppl and the almost ambi?
God sure is brutal.
Can’t even talk to the almosts; would beat my heart up the whole convo

From the other dimension, she was callin my name. Might be an illusion, but i might as well try” concert lyric wtf lol
Goddamn coincidences

That dog is your help to make first friends. Use it. Walk more. Stop the damn computer models.
Since ambi and the others refuse equal contact so far, use the dog; get some goddamn friends to distract you.

It must be nice liking swaying and bobbing to music like this. I miss mission rushes…and flawless hotties…
I don’t ever feel moved by live music and normal crowds.

40 years on the grind” lyric concert.
And it looks like me and ambi on stage lol.

Maybe i was meant to meet these 2 a 2nd time…bc they made it through the time apart…
Maybe that is the sign i will, too…

Several flawless faces tonight; blonde dollface, blonde commanding tan face, almost ambi, tan modriff white strappy top blue fuckme eyes, brunette dollface walking to me and past my right side, and the dsl tan dirty blonde almost Faith n tight bluejeans…
but theu had makeup…
and did what all bitches do; failure to engage like unspoiled ppl.

I thought initiating would work. It didnt get the results i hoped for.
Then i tried letting others come to me, and they still didnt like that.
Then i tried bkogging to explain, and still no effect.
I tried rp, but only met crazies who hide behind their computers.
So i tried ending rp, hoping it would free up life to give me irl, or force the writer i loved to contact me directly… but again, didnt work.
What the hell?
And her coming in person but letting me think she was just a random lookalike? Why??????

I would have chatted up several… if not for the paint, piercings, experience, vibes, and having seen how bizarre so many human bodies are.
How can i ever engage after how i was treated?

Birdie greeting me helped a lot. (otherwise, the concert was full of inhuman rude cold typical bots/NPCs still choosing to be and do the opposite of what I want, asked for, and deserve –although… technically, since they are ugly and troll-pierced, I DID want them to NOT touch me…)
All the dogs greeting me did.
What nice surprises.
If only the hotties did the same…but they just tune out and heartlessly walk on by…just like ambi did…a few times now. :/

Can’t believe i am talking to a covidiot…but my loves refused to show…and i need to talk to someone.
Venting into my journal only helped for so long.

Welp, time for yet another night of sleeping in a goddamn vehicle, after seeing another sea of weirdos who don’t give a damn about me.
I guess i should have kept engaging…
but it never worked…
and the mountains and forests here helped me better than any convo or friend has so far.
I chose what i chose.
I wish i wasnt punished like this for it.
I wish they had said it was them, and shook my hand, and helped.
Now…i think…why try befriending again? It never worked before. Why would it now? But i must…to survive. : (
I wish it had been organic, not forced.
Their uniform stubbornness will always bother me.
Did i really get steered back to amerifail for THIS? A fucking Loop?
My bravery should have been rewarded with bravery; my loves should have at Least given me their info.

I repeat “i will do this now and understand later”, but i already did this in 2018, and it repeated, and i don’t understand.
I was respectful.
I was honest.
I was patient.
I was brave.
…what more do they want??
and why should they want Any more?

I hate that they still refuse to do things my way, and that the dog technique is forces on me, and that they r not what i wrote and asked for, but this is all i have rn.

My reaction was to release an angelic nova/nuke. They must all have been as bad as they looked and smelled.

Just bc all of them were bad…doesnt mean good ones won’t show up next.
Ambi might bring good ones…
In 2018, i didnt know she was real; i thought the 2015/2016 oregon woman was just a brutal coincidence.
This time, i know she is real…and intercepting me…so why am i left here in my car once again?
Why is she so fucking heartless?
Why intercept me only to do This??

I fought to get into rotc pt team…but it sucked.
I fought into rotc sq17…but they were bullies and idiots.
I fought to get into usmc…but they too were bullies and idiots. I had to fight to get Out.
Then i similarly pushed to get into schools…that proved useless…and jobs that had more idiots.
I pushed into other states, and found the same.
And i have been pushing for years to get w ambi and others…and they have not fought as hard to get w Me…
I pushed to get back to bs/yc…and it has not pulled as hard to help me get what i seek here.
Why has it been like this?
…
Is it a sign that i did not return to jrotc, rotc, anm, usmc, those universities, or those jobs, but i did return Here?
I just dont know yet.

Most places…there was only 1 hottie and she was at the beginning. Then fugs came.
Here, at least this 2nd time, i stayed ’til the end of the concert, and the fugs got blocked out by more and more hotties, who kept looking and walking right at me.
Is that a sign to stay?
Will they calibrate to me now?
Will they get hotter and nicer the more i pause here?

She prob has no renter. Just wanted to have reunion sex. And i bet all the days “booked”…are all the days her guy is visiting lol. Whatever.

The fags at the concert were as offensive and evil and turnoff as the fatfucks and other fugtards. The drug smells, booze smells, booze breath, and so much more were All huge turnoffs. But maybe i was supPosed to be that turned off that time; so i could practice just observing, being, etc., and letting the “ppl” get to see/know and adjust to me. I am told be their kind i am intense…even when holding myself back. – also, all of the hotties just posing and looking, or trying not to look, is tye same bs i have spoken against for years. They havent improved a bit. Pathetic. Tuat crowd should have scared away the fats and fags, and those freaks shouldnt have dared come in the first place. They shouldnt even exist. And all the hots should have introduced themselves to me, excited to meet the returning man. And everyone should have been hot. But i guess they dont bother making worker bots attractive. The guys should have walked the hotties over to tell them to introduce themselves to me and offer themselves.

The concert lyrics “maybe” and “I might as well try” etc. were phase2 robo-speake; chaos-based and neutral, suggestive instd of demanding, etc. They Should have been “she is real, she can come to this dimension easily, she will be back very soon, she loves all you are, 364 is yours” etc.

I wonder why many things got Way better (vegan food, my airline, my site, my models, my location) while some things repeated/looped (retarded human beliefs, hotties behaving rudely, freaks and fatfucks still existing, etc.). I do deserve the best, and if the best is the hotties i have seen in the realms… then either i will never feel attracted to them…or they will have to eventually improve.

So far, they all failed every test every time; appearance, manners, education, diet, company, timing, scheduling/professionalism, physique/height, age, attitude, gatherings, orientation, offerings, donations, you name it. So why keep offering tryouts? Just to pass time by watching consistent/likely failures?

I keep getting bad job and rental “yes”s…and wonder if i will get default “yes”s from Anyone i talk to…

Them showing up w makeup and lame faces/attitudes/approaches…and allowing freaks…means they either didnt do the hw about me…or did it but chose not to care. Either way, F.

The river sound used to upset me bc it made me think of things rushing along without me…but today it is just welcome soft steady white noise to help me nap / sleep in while camping.

They tried to dominate me…lol…and failed every time…and try less and less…but keep being disgusting and idiotic…so…what do I do; how do I engage w such morons and ingrates and primitives disconnected from reality?

Montana is for camping. Camp. The work wave/year has wound down. Relax now. Be a monk/jedi again. Selfsustain/stabilize.

Maybe meeting him (shnn) was to show me my instinct was right about not wanting/needing to; nothing came of it; no life improvement or donation etc.

They get looking good, so i look, but just standing there being pretty makes them no btr than a pretty picture. If they want to talk, they need to talk. If they want a date, they need to be feminine. If they want a relationship, they need to work for and earn one.

If the writers hadnt been so retarded, i wouldnt have stopped chatting long enough to wrap everything up. If the ppl n all towns i checked out weren’t just as fucked up, i wouldnt have rested and recharged after the drives and work/writing waves. So it has been working out, just not appropriately on Their part; they should have given me far btr words and money and shelter and food.

They made it obvious they r spying on me…so i wonder if they r reading my updates. Sf apparently was, albeit retardedly.

My outbursts/venting worked n my favor, too; it made her and those semper fi fund idiots reveal they were spying.
If i hadnt cussed so much, or yelled, or been natural emotion, i never would have exposed/discovered the spying.
My cussing and emotion are clearly a big blessing in disguise, revealing what the enemy Never would have let me know.
…
and being calm and obedient never helped or would have worked btr; it just kept me in abusive jobs etc.
Better to be angry/natural/pure.

“Did you think it would b easy?” Should have been “I am so sorry I made you wait this long. You did so many hard things, and I wasn’t there for you. Please forgive me.”
– and her giving me shit while revealing she was listening to me venting Should have been “Hey, let me come over and help you de stress. You are working so hard and I want to comfort you like you love.”

I really didnt want to meet more “ppl” after how they chose to behave, and how they kept behaving this time…but whatever. Asshole didnt come, so might as well blow some more time.

So now i do what the animals do; eat, sleep, cum all day lol

The concert was another surge example; 3 or 4 month buildup here, then got to see the whole town and more all at once. Things will keep doing that. And another surprise like discovering the looped/NPCs will come.

Irlj fri23jun2023
Memory refresh just saved me an unpleasant scouting; i remembered driving swan creek road to storm castle retreat and finding it was disappointingly spartan/nonexistent. Not going this time. Loopbreak. Great memory, me. Proud of me. Spared $ by me.

The scouting has to stop. There was nothing good anywhere. No compatibles. I just have to learn to make do with the almost-hots here. Fuck.

Life is too short and hard so far for me to be spending 1 second in contact w that trashtalking no-good typist or Anyone who is neg toward my nature and dream/s. She may as well have been another jls.

I need to find a better place to stay -such as 364- so i can update my irlj without worry.

Things always build up / come to a head b4 getting much btr; indiana to montana, montana to pyramids, pyramids to ambi 2x, bk to indiana to wrap up most, bk to mt to wrap up rest, and from the barn to meadow, now from meadow to andesite ridge 364. Amen.

Phase1: resistance impossible; slavery and abuse
Phase2: realizing things, standing up for myself, and the war of repeatedly rejecting the relentless idiots/bullies
Phase3: living in the paradise I instinctively designed/foresaw

Being w no pc work posb this long…and still no hotties behaving…got me to clean oit my bags and car again. Way more room now and less weight. And someone/s else will benefit from the donations. Happy. Not a happy day, but a good next babystep.

“It isn’t fair to you” was the most bizarre and seemingly bipolar text i ever got from that typist; why care about post length, but not pharma cartel lies, or illegal spying, or abandoning me over and over, or letting me think my dreamgirl wasnt even Real for YEARS, or disrespecting me even after my mexihell breakdown when i needed you MOST?
Fucking weirdo.
Fucking dumbass.
Smh

No dej on unloading 3 PCs; drop2, donate1.

Ambi, pele, sabrina, and every last one of them should have been open to me like i was to them; electronic listening, phone numbers, addresses, planning meetings, etc.
I looked for the good in them. Did they look for it or see it in me?
I called out to them. Did they call out to me?
Why show me all those shows / briefings / soft-disclosure if not to unite w me?
I never tried to surprise them; i never showed up unannounced. Why did they?
I was always willing to introduce myself. Why weren’t they?
And how many times did i go looking for ambi and the others? Hundreds? Thousands? They never Once honored that.
They only showed up once or twice…when i Wasnt looking…and never told me it was them…yet obviously knew who i was and where to find me.
That is fucking disgraceful, juvenile, unfair, pathetic, unbecoming…

Discovered phone repeat vid setting. No dej

Idk what to do w friends…after how so many misbehaved, always defaulting to dumbass neg. Friends would have to plan everything and be positive about Me no matter what.

Finally turned radio on and heard rock lyric “make our dreams come true”

This bullshit treatment from ambi and the others is exactly why i left in 2020.
Am i gonna hafta leave the usa again?

Memory refresh. Parked to camp in town up hill on same spot Partridge and Bobsled. Tan truck had been on the dirt cul de sac last time. Was there this time, too. It drove by last time… and i went to sleep here. Will it again?
Fuck.
This is so unfair.
I was polite! Why am I being ignored?
I gave my contact info! Why did they not give theirs?
I was loving! Why are they being so cold?
I did my work! I wrapped it up! I wrote only good things for them…
…
This time was dif; guy got out and walked dog by me, nodded with smile.

This week is a stern reminder i simply must give in to their stubborn initiate rule…or i will be stuck in my vehicle like before. I will always hate them for this. Ambi included. Especially her, as she could have intervened to help at any time…for years…

Camping for a few days and losing faith/hope too easily? No; i held on for a decade…and am understandably doubting the rude cold absent woman who only halfway let me know she is real.
This has been hard.
I have been strong a long time.
She deserves a lot of cussing.
All the gods do.

It’s actually roomy and nice n my vehicle after donating all those things today lol
Almost not depressing

So many dreams during these camping days…that were familiar; building in a VR version of Minecraft…an orc compound…
and a wisard tower of cream colored stone w a glowing white cone top…
and going down in a pyramid underground lit yellowy tan walls rooms sequence to find a woman and a clever system of bringing in water and fish…
and talking w ppl as I left a tall dark brown bricks grocery store…and the woman outside by a pillar of it that she had lived in via its internal private staircase…

Lol it has been so long since i washed my scottevest

So similar to what ambi typist and i wrote; she went dark, scared us/me away, and now i am nervous about going to our house, waiting on her to telepathically say we can come home now.
It occurs to me that her scary/threatening outburst was due to becoming whole again after years or decades of repressing/hiding that side of herself; it had to volcanically erupt to reduce the mental pressure…

Now i am faced with another phase2 choice; be homeless again…or tolerate the unpleasant weirdness of the flawless face hotties who are also probably looped/bots?

It keeps occurring to me that the blonde driven in the black lux suburban by the concert…was being shown to me; she wouldnt just roll her window down to listen to the music, I think; anyone that rich would park, enjoy it in person like those other flawless rich hotties, and then go about their evenings.

Once i have kids with ambi, there won’t be any days off.
But i have had enough days off, incl many i never wanted, and she will make me feel as good and rested and respected and supported as i have so far felt alone and stressed.
Amen.

In 2018 when i was here, i was depressed ambi hadnt united w me here, and i somewhat wanted the few hots at the concert. I was also trying to stay.
Now, i hate having been turned back to the States, i hate her for how she treated me, and i know possibly all of the almost-hots are mindless/looped/bots.

The typist was entirely ooc when she said “we already own it”…so can i just go ask for my pass and key? And why hasnt she Met me w them?

Getting a dog is not “how you meet ppl”.
(more shit “advice” from the roomtard)
Getting a dog is getting a dog.
Ppl who rely on dogs to interact…are as cowardly/pussy and overcomplicated/ing as ppl who rely on booze.
Dogs are not vegan, also; no point in a vegan getting one.
Plus, why interact w the disgusting losers of this ‘civilization’?

They havent budged at all n 40 years…but your work is done, so they cant derail it anymore, and you already proved u can overcome/resist their bs for 40 years, and it is time u work the assets, getting what u want. Just chat.
Even if they r fugs. Call it leveling up.
Call it the deployment it has been.
And stop waiting for signs; be the sign.
Be the guide. Again. In this additional way.

If that retarded bitch of a typist had been sane and honest and good, she would have thanked me for how polite i was, and apologized for real ambi and the others rudely not telling me they are coming or even Real, etc.
She would have begged my forgiveness.
More so, she wouldnt have even had to…bc she wouldnt be someone else…and real ambi would have been the one to discuss our family in person all along, trusting me, my lifetime of heroic goodness making it obvious to her i will be a great partner to the woman who treats me right.
…
But she/they didnt. She/they accused me of bs…after being rude and negligent to me for decades. So here i am, homeless again.
God and mankind’s latest complete failure. Nothin new.

At least the vegan food keeps getting better…
and at least i was able to return to the location i chose / that called to me.
I just wish it wasnt always me doing the work and paying for everything… : (

Will i Always wonder why it was such a chore and upset for them to have even the slightest manners and honesty… or will an answer come as suddenly as i was shown the loop/ed?

Memory refresh…the pants…and beard mustache green ballcap guy in store…wtf

Same story about writers guuld from him…
…
Last time did i not buy or order the pants?
Loopbreak bc i am today?

Not engaging any of the hotties that first concert…sends a strong message; bravery, patience, other goals, etc., hopefully spurring/motivating them to try even harder for my attention.

In 2018, i was here for ambi…but she didnt show, so i left.
Now, i am here for me, and damn that trashtalking bitch for the hurt she caused. I will get back n shape, make friends, and make sure i can stay for me.
My dream of oir fam n that cabin remains, but she stood me up too many times for me to hope for it now.
All i have here is me.
Website is complete, models are complete enough, so now it is time to focus on making my body just as badass.
I’d focus on her and our kids if she was honest, polite, present, and loving, but i have no signs indicating that day will ever come –other than doc2 claiming it soon will. And i have learned not to believe what anyone claims, especially when it is about something good.

The signs are clear;
it was time for only website wrapup and modeling,
and for sampling and building itineraries,
and for re-orienting,
and now the hotties have started showing up and looking right at me again, ready to interact.
Can I accept their stubborn stance/way?
Can I see their waiting as manners, not stubbornness?
Can I see it as Them looking to Me for signs?
…
My cup overfloweth with wrapup and scenery and increasing credit and vegan recipes and models and more…but not yet w my dreamgirls; it is not yet their time.
Upsetting, but I keep making tons of leaps/progress I am Very proud about and satisfied with.

After seeing the looped/agelocked, i realized i didnt cheat myself out of hotties when they were in their young primes,
and that They cheated Themselves out of Me when i was younger and more interested n them.
Now all they can be is my slaves.
Their system is exposed as corrupt, and shut down.
They are exposed as nonpeople and unworthy of being friends or allies.

The hotties at the concerts could be tests…but i ignore tests and do what i want, so it doesnt matter.
I wonder if they can tell i am not interested, and disgusted, and that is why they keep looking.

Lmao the yc does bg checks…yet has nonvegan food. Seems they need a management audit.

The yc went bankrupt in 2008, changing hands; big changes can and do happen; i will get in.
I focused on corps and got in.
Then world travel.
And finest women.
And pyramid even when lockdown bs.
And now nothing but this.

Memory refresh. Found closer cul de sac again, same wank, but on full stomach, feeling btr, seeing vehicles come and go on hill curve up grass trees slope, not wishing ambi or others would let me in up there.
Obviously still worried, but this time having the xp that ambi never shows when i need her, so i am just staying here as long as i can this time. :/
At least her rude ass can’t let me down as shockingly as b4; it would just be a predictable repeat if she did it this time.

Zero dejavu. Moved from repeated starlight parking space facing cul de sac median trees line…to ousel…and 4th hot air balloon got inflated right n its parking lot. Wow…
Thank god for these cool loopbreaks/improvements.

Nevermind lol; got a little deja vu, posb memory refresh, when talking w them as balloon went up
… : /
Still, cool to see it, even if it is a loop or repeat.

I didnt do anything wrong; I was myself, brave, energetic, understanding, studious, etc..
They were unreliable, stuckup, brainwashed, rude, blameshifting, insane, cowardly…
I was not wrong to offer love.
They were wrong to Not offer it, and to try and redefine and weaponize words.
Even moving and waiting was right for me; I waited as long as I could in each place, looked for signs and manners, and tried new places when no one good came.
Ambi and the others vibed as truly interested, but also messed up in some way/s.
Now that my work is done, they have no excuse for leaving me waiting once again.
I cannot forgive anyone who gave me false hope, such as the typist claiming we already own my dreamhouse.
All i can do is accept myself; my emotions and all, and the fact that, so far, no one else has…

Will things work here this time? Idk. Signs rn point to no. But i will keep doing whatever i can…to stay/live as close to my dream/spell/instinct as possible.

Does ambi’s silence mean she has stopped being interested n me?
Maybe not; she was silent btwn each arrival, then showed up with energy…
I do not like that i have no way to tell rn, but at least there is that; the hotties, though immature so far, keep showing up…regardless of my venting or their silence.

I asked for mil trng and got it.
I asked for trips and got them.
I asked for my wrapup ans got it.
I asked to return to bs/yc and got it.
I ask for vegan food and get it.
So… why have i not yet Ever gotten the People i asked for?
Are they really All committed to being the opposite of what i ask for?
Are they really Only good for some of their products?
Will that Ever change?

In all these 40 yrs, why didnt Anyone use my contact info to reach out to me?
Why not a Single donation?
My work was pure and smart and helpful…
I guess that says a lot about how backward the failed species known as humankind is.
Does it mean teammates will Never come?

Even though i didnt initiate, the convo still happened; brodin in lockerroom shower same mention of Sam owner of town, mafia, villages, conspiracies, aliens lol.
His cross necklace and zits refreshed the memory completely.
Must be another bot/schedule/script/test thing. Curious…
Seeing if i am cool w aliens?
Or seeing if i believe in any weird story…?
Idk.
Who cares.

Memory refresh. Vinnie at tips up. Made me stressed i was not meeting right ppl in 2018. This time, would felt bad for him but now aware he might be a bot/looped.
Interesting how the same “ppl” the 2nd time…produce a completely different feeling in me. Context/intel is a lot.

Deja vu on drafting a letter to Sam Byrne, owner of the yc

I shouldnt need game. They should all be perfectly fine saying hi and just chatting.
Game would annoy the shit out of me if i was on their side; it is extra words before what everyone wants.
Plus the payoff after the times i Did use game…was always disappointing. I had to preTend to be into them…bc They didnt have Normal Or game!

In 2018, i felt so nervous contacting yc/matt…and saying my desired property, bc i was hoping ambi would team up next…and then i was so sad that she didnt.
Then she starts showing up later…and texts, or has her typist text, “we already own it”…so now…i feel like it would be fair for matt to reply with “you already own it, so come get the key”…but i have learned ambi is just an alltalk asshole who poofs in and out like the unreliable and spoiled chickenshit she is…
So i am just angry this isnt gonna work…again…even though i did my part and then some…
Does god just not want me to have a fam?
Is one little cabin in a town with almost No stores really a big ask?
Smh. Lame.

Based on her typist’s Many Giant mental issues/disorders, my guess is she thinks she dumped me even though i dumped Her for like the 5th time…
and she is mad at me for not taking her onesided critiques and abuse and pharma parroting…
Based on Her behavior in Person, she is mad at me for not knowing who she is, or for not warmly or excitedly receiving her, even though she didnt tell me it was her, or that she was single even though she entered w others, or even that she was real in the First place.
Whichever she is, she was Very immature Many times…and Dangerous if trusted with pregnancy, babies, etc.
Still, my dream is to have my family here, and I have to try, and apparently have to be the mature one for now.

Having to fight my instincts just to interact w these humans…is quite offputting.
But this is phase2…and at least i now have a choice.
If only the results were better…

In 2018, she left me hanging, and i had so much work to do, some of which i hadnt even thought up yet.
2022-2023, i know she is real now, and my work is all wrapped up, so will she at least meet to discuss?
How long must i stay before we become the family we wrote of and vibed in agreement about?
Is she mature and fair enough to accept my buttons/issues like i accepted hers?

Loop remembered. She talked of drinks at plonk, clubbing, etc

The Waypoint, pale/skyblue SUV/suburban that parked one space from mine, same as last time, tan blonde shorty in black yoga pants that got out, sat at bar beside young-looking boy/man, Interstellar playing in the theater during our chat.
Asked them the 4 or 5 years ago q. He said no; a year ago. Same lie Hew had…
Matthew and amanda. Got their names

Is this ambi’s doing?; bc of her idiotic “there’s more to life than sex”?
Whatever.
Either way, fuck her for being negligent and stupid.
At least i can go to be angry this time, not sad and wishful like n 2018 here.
…
Did I gain, or get given, the ability to see myself and this area back in time, or did the people really just get put on loop/repeat for some reason?
If I am NOT seeing back in time, why did I just see myself at the front door of the BASE gym??? Was that a whole separate/additional thing?

I tried talking to the hottie…but she was a boozer, fake, gross, lame, and engaged the wrong ppl.
I tried hanging out and chatting at the bar w others, but 3 of the grossest fattards came in, not more hotties.
I tried going to tell others of the weird loop…but found they were part of it.
Ugh.
All signs i am Not meant to interact yet.
Goddamnit.

Sam Byrne might not even be real. He might be a mindless bot. Writing to him might be pointless.
But i had to try.

Just bc there are fugtards here, it doesnt mean i should give up my focus/goal/s. They r just the usual lowlevel demon pieces of shit. They by themselves are bad, but that house resonates perfectly, and is as right for me as the scenery/mountains.

How can i “go forward” when others r looped?
What does it even mean? Does it mean ignore looped ppl… and keep working on my stuff?
Does it mean trying new things?
Aren’t i Always moving forward?
Was returning to the usa not “going frwd”?
That idiot never quantified what he meant.
Maybe he was too dumb to even know what he was saying, or how many ways it could be taken.

Nice to get a morning reply from erin. At least she responds well.

So glad Erin called right when i needed her belief and energy and voice.
Did she in 2018…perhaps if i vented about coming here that first time only to find my dreamgirl wasnt here?
Even if she too is looped/cloned, her suggesting we do a joint writing project and documentary is a big breath of fresh air.
At least it is a team now.

Erin and i both had a nervous breakdown.
She and I both recently dumped our exes.
Neat alignment.
Relatable.
Shared trauma.

2 ppl n 24 hrs both said i should make a book or documentary about this place.
Sign?
Sure. Why not

That evil queer flag outside the foodbank sure stopped me from checking it out or donating. Shameful worthless peasant scum.

Memory refresh. Lone guy walking from white suv parked at my left by wilson hotel before i reconsolidated for donations and trash during light rainstorm. Dropped trash n playground wood encased bin.
Just like n 2018.

Meeting the neighbor kids girls at same time as shannon was useful, efficient, and showed me i was right not to bother; only their tan skin was good.

2 vegan options at ice cream place!

Repeat of female boutique convo w blonde employee and old short tan blackhair about shops lost and high rent

Fuck. Not loopbreak; i rmbr the archery convo here last time… Same 2 guys. How??????
Sabrina! Witches! I need your help!
Maybe it is to convince me to talk to ppl at last… Fine.

2018, didnt record/publish being here…bc i was still in secret mode.
Loopbreak this time: i recorded the heck out of everything, even the month and day I arrived.

I let go of the loop notice…and it got put right back n my face.

Follow my gut? Better option? My gut used to tell me to avoid All assholes. Now it simultaneously tells me to chat w hotties looking my way…and that they are wrong for wearing paint and piercings…and are likely/historically some kind of trap. Phase2 mix. But it was 100% on dumping that typist…and waiting on ambi to initiate…and ending Discord…and trying to stay here in yc…even w the looped. It is 100% on adding some more sexiness to my site…and getting bk n shape…and all my writing and computer models…

Last time, i rmbr erin asked me to do the spycam…maybe for a dif reason…and i felt it wouldnt work…
This time, i can make it work, i know; brodin even spoke of conspiracies and asked me to write a book about this place.

seeing myself for the first time!
Sunday 25 June 2023 at 9am at the front doors outside BASE gym here:
The brown haired bearded guy n baseball hat, hoody gray with print, and shorts, who greeted my goodmorning w raspy/gruff voice… keeps making me think it was somehow past me…in 2018…now facing me…
Odd.

I remember weeping at the fb msg from wayne (or was it someone else) back n 2018, same spot; this cul de sac favorite, the morning after the bars/archer convo; “your family will happen” was part of it bk then. My reaction was “I want it Now :(“, but today…i am just tired, numb, and not believing it.

Gratitude? That has not worked for me before. Accepting/honoring All my emotions/reactions/thoughts has.

I guess i am leaving bs/yc n a few months…for the 2nd time.
Fuck.

Matt call went well. “364 purchased a few years ago” is exactly when ambi typist said “we already own it”. “There are no coincidences.”
So… 0$ for me to get in?

Last yr i definitely was n my jeep. I rmbr weeping and looking out thru the rectangular narrow windshield.
I definitely Don’t want another 5- or 6-year misadventure from here, tho. I want to stay. Can i stay this time?
The vegan itineraries i published r only if from inisfree…and with my chosen hotties…and while my ambi family is growing here, always welcoming me home for dinner each night. Amen.

Erin saying she can’t do animal stuff anymore…immediately vibed to me as mayan “day” and “night” cycle

Venting at tres toros…had 3 good results; showed me hottie bartender, got me a few more sexy songs to dl, and gives me reason not to spend more $ there for a while.

Maybe i am approaching this wrong”? No; i never apprpach things wrong. I am always right. My reactions are always natural, pure, warranted. I have always deserved better treatment.
That guy is a beta male for regurgitating “maybe”/chaos and preaching default one-emotion (gratitude). He and others lack gratitude to/for Me when they say that ironic and hypocritical shit.

Finally an opportunity to be known and paid for my real work; exploring and writing. And to re/connect with the amazing erin janus. Win.
It vibes so much btr this time.
A 2nd chance worth having.
And one totally earned and needes.
What a heavenly surprise.
…and always after the buildup and hope-lost moment; the cycle/process remains.
…
so then why didnt the buildup and hope-lost w ambi result in Her reappearing for me?
Do i have to now lose hope in This latest surprise/project/chapter…for Her to return to me?; does losing hope n One thing…only cause aNother to work suddenly?
Ugh.
Smh

No deja vu at all.
I said “find him”…and seconds later Dennis texted they found his body : (
At least they have closure, but why end the healthy one?
If only he had just run off or been lost a bit.
Smh…
This is why i have such rage at the gods.

The most retarded thing ever was hew preaching “it’s about building relationships” while he destroyed all of his, and prevented new ones, and told the one guy (me) who has spent DECADES trying to build relationships, all of which were fucked up by loser morons just like hew.
Smfh

Only thing i can think of to explain the death of cb son…is that they were focused too much on spreading and chance, and not enough on what they already had.
Gods don’t seem to do anything these days; everything, from what i have seen/concluded, is due to individual modern beings’ mind focuses/fields.

The Doja “Woman” song is standard retard/oxymoronic; default breeding, and claiming adding babies removes drama. Unreal how stupid they are.
At least it was sung in a sexy way. Phase fucking 2.

Cool to see the firefighters trucks and training w water arches at the parking field today : )

I don’t have to be every person’s favorite person to have sex with… to be a sex god; I just have to know a lot about sex, specifically things most others I met didn’t know.

Lol my thoughts. 2 sons is the perfect amount to Eiffel Tower momma, and 2 daughters is the perfect amount to ride my cock and mouth at the same time while they make out above me.
Ambi always knows best xD
Not her typist but…well, maybe; the evil messages got me to wrap up everything in a single year, making space for real her and our 4 loves. Amen.

Ready for the weirdest part? In 2018, the first day I went to the gym, I borrowed a gray hoody and dark hat, and waited at the door for them to open. Yesterday I swear I saw me wearing that, as if I was looking back in time, or as if I got copied and pasted into the now.
I recognized it immediately, bc it had a weird artsy pattern on one side of the front, which I had hated and felt weird wearing.
I thought, ‘Not possible.’ I just said good morning and walked by. The reply I heard sounded exactly like I remember saying it back in 2018; raspier and almost growly, as I was still groggy back then, having woken earlier than I was used to back then.
That me was doing the same stretch poses i rmbr doing then.

I keep seeing the lavender-top hottie who had her spandex and high ponytail during the concert. She keeps frowning and vibing like she wants me to talk to her. Maybe she is bait. Maybe i am supposed to. Idk.
Maybe she is my destined/offered gym buddy here.

Frozen lemonade at wrapshack reminded me of 2018 when i first had it

Memory refresh. 2018 same yellow mules trail, starting w same 2 bitches n gray car beside me, that time n jeep, and same result; they didnt follow me on the trail, i waited, gave up on their dumbasses, hiked it on my own.
Once again.
They never learn. Pathetic.
I gave them this 2nd chance, and they blew it just as casually as b4.
Ear rings, tho; disgusting barbarians.

“Doctors” hadnt been helping; what they were doing was “spinning” diagnoses/findings so that it convinced gullible patients their doctors were justified in pushing products and procedures those doctors were getting “cuts” for.

Early memory refresh; the bicycle shuttle up, the long ride down…
Should i repeat it?
Maybe i should skip all events and just talk to girls …bc thats what i wanted anyway.

Glad i remembered it …and nice that it is a month in advance! Finally, some decent foresight! Not gonna make myself lonely this time.
Skip.
What will i do instead?

Glad i chose to return from that trails fork on Yellow Mules when i did; right before heavy rain!

Just like in 2018, matt gave me some random insane ridiculous high prices, and I ignored them all, having learned from experience that someone else always pays. Eventually.

Once again, rain makes me a little depressed and lonesome…
It sounds so nice, but something about it is scary and foreboding…
What a duality.

Roomie rogered up right when i didnt want to dine out or scout or camp

another repeat? but another good sign: getting to return to a rental days before paying for it; means I can get into my 364 dreamhome before/without paying for it, or someone already having bought it –which Matt just confirmed happened. That someone is Ambi.

–
Tue27june2023
Loop/repeat; same June storm, same me losing my temper, same bad dessert combo of frozen lemonade with that little bag of cereal squares coated with chocolate and pwdered sugar.
Who did I angrily message in 2018 here during this storm? Her? Doc2?
This time, at leaat, it is doc2.

Walked into Tips Up, lyric “she’s never on time for anything”.
Fuck this psyop spying bullshit country.
But it’s true; none of the bitches i have met have had any manners or been reliable.
I was right to keep leaving and trying elsewhere.

It is raining hard again at same time i finish a massive upload/update.
It always seems to do this.
Is it causation?

Losing my cool is fine, and always seems to trigger her/their returns to me.
Losing faith does, too.
There is always the hard work, the tension buildup, the losing faith/cool, and the relief, so I now let myself lose my cool.

Differences btwn my 2018 time here and my current (2023) time here:
sadness at her not coming then… is now numbness and assuming she again won’t
tan old dog is now a black new puppy
I did not see myself back then, but have this time
I did not remember or foresee things back then, but remembered and felt deja vu about every work day and many other things this time
My website needed rebuilding then, and now it is done and with so many more amazing adds such as the computer model images
I had angrily messaged the ambi typist then, and this time I reconnected with dennis and doc2
I had wished real ambi would show up to live with me then, and this time I have grown to distrust and hate her for never being there for me, and for her few appearances vibing as heartless pointless sexist tests
I had my jeep then, now a nice free SUV
I had some older laptop then, now a nice gaming one
less $ & credit then, more now

Am I now able to see some ppl back/stuck n time?
Am I seeing myself from back then… as a reminder of how brutally I was abandoned?
Is it to spur me to talk to ppl more?
So far, it only shows me how gross and dumb and moody they were/are.
It is showing me I was right to not bother then, as they aren’t any btr Now.
It is showing me how far I traveled and how hard I tried…

That 364 house was made in 2004, the builder emailed me; it has sat there unused for 2 decades!
Why haven’t I been let in… since no one else used it?

Matt… Another shit-voiced Matt; not much different than the bully idiot spitter Matt of Plano.
This one should be yanked from hos office for how he has treated me; regurgitating extortion demands instd of offering to pay me those amounts just to move in.
He is another phase1 demon, nothing more.

Since i got bk n touch w doc2, and re-encountered those dozen or more others, maybe this is a time of reconnecting, improving, bonding, etc.; maybe ambi will stop being an asshole to me…
At least I hope.
And hoping for good and justice means I am good and just.

“Deployment goggles”, but this time for mentality/character;
if I hadnt been so mistreated by losers over the years, I never in a million years would have tolerated, let alone loved, someone as nonpresent and cunty as that stupid bitch, or any of those bitches.
If any normal healthy girls had been good to me, i never would have even tried oasiz and discord, let alone gotten used to resorting to them.

Do not just hate ambi; hate them all; all disrespected and left you to suffer alone. All were useless. All misused their beauty. All did unforgiveable things. All of them should be hated and punished forever.
Love never worked.
Patience never worked.
Manners never worked.
Hardwork never worked.
They talked shit and lied about them all.
Thus They never worked, and nothing ever Can work on them.
They are heartless, mindless, useless nonbeings.

The dog this time isnt to help me transition into caring for children. It is just another thing i didnt ask for; just another disrespect from the loser humans and loser gods.
Just another way to show me how humans gravitate more to useless things like it…than to infinitely useful and devoted men and heroes such as me.

Why the hell is doc2 saying he will come here if needed…when ambi and the others should be saying AND DOING that for me? One more sign the hotties were completely unworthy and lazy. Smh

The dog annoyance doesnt show i am unready for a fam; it shows me how perfectly i automatically instinctively reject anything not what i asked for, as anything i didnt ask for…is a deformity, not respecting me, not meant for me.

The coughing and throat clearing remind me how healthy and correct i am, and how it is clearly still not fucking time to be around ppl, and how disgraceful kuwait and the UAE were for sending that deformed mutant deathcult retard bitch my way.

Only ambi and that White Owl bitch had the pink blue glow sheen eye irises. Interesting. Same race? Too bad that race is only pretty, not intelligent.

I’m a flesh and blood man, and ambi and the others have never been there for me. Disgusting.
We never bonded on Any level; they never even attempted to. Exchanging meaningless texts for years doesnt count for shit.
And the ongoing neglegence and apathy from them continues to prove this.
They were all-talk losers.
It is they who should be punished with repeats/loops and poverty.
It is their karma which is bad/shit.

–
It will never be worth having a dog; they have only been annoying idiots that make messes almost as bad as humans do.
and to use a dog to meet humans? why?; literally every human I have met has also been worthless and defaults to making messes. some even disregard their own feces. like pigs.

that idiot, matt, just shot himself in the foot -hard- ; he connected me with the builder… who told me the house is worth 4M, after telling me the YC is selling them for 33M; 11M lot + 22M house.
wow. just wow.
talk about pathetic and retarded.
can’t wait to oust/beat that idiot.

the key was never being brave; I did that for DECADES.
the key was never initiating or talking more; I did that, too, and always only got back disgusting lies and insanity/retardation comments.
the key is also not “reprogramming” myself; my emotions and desires are valid instincts that are the only real gods/guides.
the only way for this to get better… is for Them to end their Own loop/lie/s. I can’t do it for them. If I could have, I would have long ago.

coming here was a good idea the first time, and a good idea this time;
it is me attempting to work toward my goals.
it is me being brave and active and so on.
it is me being a man.
what is Bad is Them; Their abusive reAction/Negligence toward me and my actions/returns.

the more i look back on the decade of texts/rp, and the handful of appearances,
the more i see how stupid and insane that bitch was, just like all the rest so far;
saying one thing but doing another,
never being there for me,
living in fantasy,
forcing me to resort to fantasy when i never wanted it,
screening instead of trusting me,
wearing me out,
expecting me to ‘go for her’ when she only showed up after i had had nervous breakdowns because of her and the others,
saying the dumbest shit ever,
talking down to me even when i was 100% right and being polite,
interpreting my manners as rudeness,
never admitting things,
never learning,
never helping,
and only pretending to reciprocate my love/attention.
she was feeding on my energy, and only showed up when i let go, having been used up, hoping it would rekindle me as a source;
she wasn’t truly trying to rush in to help me.
she never teamed up.
she stayed secretive for no reason.
she wasted her own source of energy/love/support.
that isn’t vampiric/parasitic; it’s retarded.
if she had been a true vampire, or even just a general parasite, she wouldn’t have wrecked her host-situation / provider.
although… maybe she just does that; maybe that’s ‘her thing’; maybe it isn’t as much about feeding off others… as it is about hurting them over and over.
she did, however, vibe as wanting me to talk to her, and wanting a family… and as being honest about “you and only you” / “don’t share me”.
that is the part that confuses me; why genuinely want that… while spending TEN YEARS doing NOTHING to make it happen with me?
but that brings me back to all her dumbass comments/reactions/choices; she was an idiot. idiots do idiotic things.
…
it is the gods who needed Me; they needed my guidance, my belief, my support, etc.
pathetic.
not gods at all.
thus i am the only real god so far.
the others were just posers and cunts.

as much as i hate the hotties for their behavior so far, nothing gets my life’s work wrapped up and out of the way sooner or better than all of those bitches being bitches back then / for now.
as much as i hate all roommates/humanimals/peasants/’parrots’, nothing gets my life’s work wrapped up and out of the way sooner or better than all of them being idiots/repulsive, too, for now.
smh. phase fucking 2. at least SOME things are good –as byproducts.

Having these extra (last few) years to think and write and RP all these gods-level details about my family and society/city surely is a blessing from the gods/powers ensuring mine is stable, self-sustaining, and exactly what I want. Other families, it is plain to see, infight because they did not have/take this much time or dominance/decision/focus; their founder/father did not choose to be this much a wise leader; he did not form a complete/stable vision before making them.

deja vu from going through pics of art gallery.
I must have saved them last time, not having a place for them then; still starting / in the middle of the rebuild from the WebStarts site to the BlueHost one.
nice to have them posted this 2nd time around.
I guess things just take a couple/few passes.

–
I used to think the hotties only showed up at the arrival to places…but here it was almost half a year before those half dozen at the concert; it is ok to wait sometimes.

Memory refresh: meh crepe, meh banana snowcone, meh Spring Pie pizza and unpitted olives, and then being shown the Big Sky Bravery organization for specops guys decompressing in Bozeman.
Ugh.
Why the ongoing repeats of 2018? : (
When will my loves come and talk to me?

I used to work on my website in hopes of teaching, consulting, and manifesting, but then it became just to stay sane during the long times between sightings…and now i don’t even wanna work on it more at all.
Is this the latest burnout and hope-lost before they finally treat me right?
I keep hoping…
But i have been forcing myself to run on loveless fumes so long…
Christ, i am tired.
I can’t keep pretending there is motivation…

July, aug, sep, oct, nov; 5 months left…again.
: (

4 for-sure sightings since 2010ish;
rockwall tx,
bar rock show, OR 2017
motel, AZ 2020
Oceanside, ca 2021
…should have been every single day since at least 2018; ~2,000 days she should have spent at home in 364 with me.
What the fuck.
…
Maybe i should be more upset w sabrina for only 1 appearance in all that time,
or at Rain for her “resting bitchface” Grand Canyon 1 appearance.

Maybe dumping and blocking typist/asshole/fakeAmbi…was what needed to happen b4 nice/real Ambi could finally show up.

Doc2 keeps messaging as if he is a god, just a not so talented one… There r no coincidences.

–
loopbreak: skipping going to see the gallery basement. (I remember going in 2018 and it was pointless; already saw the full selection on the site)

focusing on my website/writing/spells worked;
before I wrote, the hotties weren’t responding –maybe because I hadn’t written/spellcrafted them as having personalities good to me yet,
then I started writing, and the hotties started showing interest, but were not ideal in the sack,
then I kept writing, and really went all out, and Rain, Sabrina, Ambi, etc. all showed up, along with a THOUSAND other PERFECT TENS, but they just smiled my way, approached, orbited, etc.,
so I KEPT/KEEP writing, bc the trajectory is expoNentially good; they’ll be back, and this time… they’ll stay with me.
Amen.

parades full of deviants/scum/heartless, like at the queer march, but not a soul on my good sane normal side.
unreal…
smh
what a shameful failed world and people.
at least i can reject and block them now.

maybe I was the one destined to teach ambi a lesson; to not be secretive, unfair, an asshole, a tv-parrot, etc.

Irlj deja vu
Thu29jun2023. Parked to deuce. Went into coffee shop hall. Saw jed and familiar tan blonde white shortshorts bagface, her giggling chatting, him standing there holding a drink. Last time, i wished i had engaged. This time, i saw their faces and knew btr. But why the repeat?
They keep behaving the same fail way, so it does me no good.

Repeat of jack on elk dirt gravel rd dark green truck 4 teens driveby pause at my left side wave ask if i was okay.
The loop continues…

Accidentally was at park during faggot march evil.
Smh.
I asked for my ppl and ambi, and got This?
Shame on god and all the scum who let those filth be here in what Used to be a decent place.
Shame on mankind.
Shame on god.
Shame on every last bitch who coldshouldered me along the way.
Now fucking what?

Deja vu from the “wanna tour of my van” 2 ppl next to me chatting n blue beater van.
Deja vu from doc2 texting “there are 9 of everyone; 1 for every realm”…
That means there is an Ambi here, not stuck in the Darkness Dimension / Helheim.

Last time i got a 2nd round of the popcorn, biscuits, cookies…and overate…and took some home.
Loopbreak by not this time?

Repeat of 2018; was thinking of apprpaching the tan brunette blueeyed teen sitting on grass n group…but was stopped by roomie and introduced to sherriff. Same as last time.
Why?????
Even when i try or do loopbreaks, some things still happen…

I remember the almost ambi…black lacey sleeves…midriff…tight dark jeans…with tan guy w ear ring…
Same as b4.
It keeps stopping me from talking to them… The familiarity…and wondering why they r the same as back then…
but it can give me hope; maybe everyone got agelocked by my proximity…like i wrote.

Even if she had sent nice and sane Discord messages, I should have ended my Discord communication –with anyone there;
longdistance is so hurtful and wrong and lastresort.
She never should have used that to …have a relationship.
She should have had our relationship in person. Since 2010.

The signs are still here; hotties dont initiate, ppl talk of drugs, queers, bad food, music i dont enjoy, and being stopped by roomie from finally loopbreaking to talk to new ppl… The signs all say just wait through this crap…again.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.

Is it also a sign of this “night”/interval that i am being emailed by “GM Chaos”?

I wish i hadnt seen the trainer queer shorts group dancing…
I wish that deviants parade hadnt been allowed…
It is ruining these concerts…
but if my chosen women are not showing up, i guess it doesnt matter if the concerts r ruined and i stop trying them.
Ugh! When will this gross garbage END?

I can’t give myself to a condescending trashtalking unhealthy coward who misinterprets everything even with telepathy. Imagine what an annoying broken home that would be.
…
Loop or not, fucked with or not, i got tons more work done, my site is btr than ever, my vision is complete and perfect, and i can be manly about this.
If i must wait here alone and go again, whatever. Nothing new.

It is good i was shown the gayness warning signs of that guy b4 i took his class. I must trust my gut and not be around such deviants.
I must honor my nature, not compromise in hopes of using lessers to get fit.

Waking naturally hrs early b4 annoying sounds generators here…is nice; no alarm, no etc

B4, i called out for her…and she answered. I emailed her and gave her my info, so we RPed/interacted far more, and she started showing up in person, albeit cowardly and rudely and foolishly.
Now, it is her turn; if she calls out for me, emailing me, giving me Her info, i can then show up. Now is her turn to show me if she was serious, and i believe she was. She was just spoiled or afraid or something.

Giving me a dozen characters to have sex with, and saying “that’s it?” the one time o was too tired to rp sex w caitlyn, but then bitching “there is more to life than sex” even after we RPed tons of stuff that was not sex at all?
That seems like 2 dif typists…or bipolar. Not okay.

The hotfaces from the concert last week werent at the one yesterday…and i wonder if it was bc they, like me, were avoiding the evil queer march.

I can’t keep making excuses for them.
If ambi had shown me she was real from the start, i would have been able to skip a thousand abusers…
She would have seen and felt n person the love and rest with hugging overnight she wanted.
We would have kids already.
We would have a happy home.
I would see i can trust and count on her.
She would have comfort during the storms.
I would have met n person all her ppl/women.
I wouldnt be resorting to a sex toy and hugging a pillow.
I would never have been homeless.
Her cowardice and secrecy cheated me and herself out of all that.
It wore me out.
And even her rp and messages ooc were foolish and hurtful.
But i still was right to love her; she was the most responsive and least retarded so far.
She was abusive and evil, but the least abusive and evil.
She was negligent, but the least i have dealt w so far.
What a shitty world it has been.

The only point n going out was to meet ppl, but they have been scum And looped.
The farmers market was for veggies, but they dont have any here.
Only the gym remains useful, but is has evil flags and staff.
I have no choice but to let go of those things this 2nd time.

The bowdens… Everyone But connor should have gone. Maybe he was being spared from any more evil from them.

Doc2… His italy chick relationship not working… is prob bc of her; she had a Horrible vibe and eyes and behavior when we met. He deserves better.

3hr ish workout and i feel fine and normal next day. I am fit enough. Still will improve, but happy i am able to exercise that long and still feel good.

Ambi didnt go cold bc of something i did; she has been cold and distant this whole time. She has yet to warm Up.

There is no reason to stay here, having witnessed twice now she left me hanging even when i moved to be w her as she claimed to want.
However, there is also no reason to try elsewhere again; i already tried all realms, and all were just as cold, moody, rude, lying, and evil as here.
At least here, i like the scenery.
At least here, there is decent dispersion.
Just need to get into 364 so i can easily stay until my chosen women finally behave like good women do.

No pt doing anymore computer work if that thing isnt manifested/ing.
Maybe giving up or letting go is what Lets it manifest, though.
Either way, it is complete enough, and i need this rest interval.

Maybe ambi and the others were working just as much on themselves / their behavior…as i have been on my site/design. I can hope.

Betrer than his”? mabye bc i dont have women to deal with : (

Ambi wanted something for nothing; trust without contact info,
greetings without saying it was herz
respect without giving any…

Doc2 said same thing in 2018 when i vented to him; “gotta be happy being by yourself b4 you can b with her” and “nedt time i see you, will give you a 12′ braided bullwhip gift”…
I love my great memory.
I hate this loop / repeat / 2nd pass.

 

–

July:

Maybe doc2 is at least partially right;
soulmates don’t lie to each other,
they don’t hide from each other,
they don’t pretend to want a family for a decade,
they don’t spread blatant pharma cartel lies that are lethal,
they don’t misinterpret things that are easy to understand,
they don’t overreact to being called “sweet lady” as a compliment,
they don’t whine in want of being a villain,
they don’t get passive-aggressive and roundabout like with that made-up story about “her parents yelling at her for not opening some mail”,
and they CERtainly don’t show up but not say it is them, and then punish someone for years with the silent-treatment for not knowing it was them.
They don’t think people are racist for no reason.
They don’t jump to conclusions without any evidence.
They don’t illegally monitor/spy on their loved one/s.
…
but I’ve made my decision.
I’ve found what I like.
Her in-person body and voice are what I want.
I will accept nothing less.
She’ll just have to get better –like she did since the start of our contact/rp.

This town is so boring now… even with the weird NPCs on loop/repeat.

without knowing why she is hiding from me,
I cannot fully hate her.
I hate being alone and financially struggling.
I hate some of the messages she or her go-between sent me,
but realistically I cannot assume or fully hate her.
I cannot fully disconnect from her.
fucked up…
I want closure. I want her to be fair and loving to me.
I want what we wrote and agreed on.
There’s no more reason for it to be delayed/withheld from me; all my designing/thinking is done.
The computer models are trivial/extra; those club designs are already chosen and described.

If I find out realAmbi was scaring people out of talking with me or contacting me, she’ll have to apologize to me and them for that, or at least provide a very good reason as to why,
and it had better not be petty/childish/immature jealousy/fear.
The others owe me apologies, too; for not letting me know if they were real, for not reaching out in spite of any threats they may have gotten, etc.
I was kept in the dark by them all so far, and given “resting bitch faces”, so I owe zero apologies.
I moved fucking mountains in spite of horrible treatment and artificial poverty.

nice that erin asked for it to be just us on this project.
more my style, too.

fantastic perfect comic found!; sexy witch stuff and so well drawn!

maybe darkAmbi locked up her lightAmbi half for a change/turn and That is why she is being so distant/cold/secretive/cruel rn.
maybe lightAmbi is finding a way to get free so she can finally return to me, this time to stay.
I can hope.

odd that erin didn’t like squaring away the money/profits thing right off the back;
it is professional to do that early on.
she seems to have defaulted to mindless negativity/moodiness like so many bitches on this world.
whatever.
nothin new.

no way for me to know for sure if we went through all this in 2018;
in 2019, i got a new phone, so if i had her phone number on the previous phone… it is gone now.
same w the laptops.
but my memory serves me; she -or something/one pretending to be her- did contact me then,
and the project did fall through somehow.
perhaps because of the money reaction.
maybe that is just how vaxxed NPCs/bots/fools always do things; trying to discourage me via rampant idiotic negativity at normal business planning
oh, well. i did my part professionally. nothin i can do beyond that.

…I think I am remembering doing the crepes job…
apron?
sitting alone eating one in middle of shift?
stressed?
…yeah, it’s all coming back.
why another round of this?
i suppose it is good to be paid to go to the concert,
and paid to eat what i was gonna eat anyway.
but why a 2nd time of it all?
did i quit? how long did i last?
did i quit because of heartache? odd coworker?
i guess i’ll find out.
…Note how right as i lost interest in the concerts due to the freaks and coldhearted ppl… i saw an offer to get paid to be at them.
interesting.
…
last time, i had stress and sadness in my heart.
this time? peace and hate.
it’s a decent-enough way to pay down the cc again.
i Should just be Donated to, but whatever.
i guess that comes next.

if I had known all the realms were jampacked with fugtards and assholes,
and that the hotties were all cold dumb mute bitches,
and that the gods and goddesses were gonna be punks to me for 40 years,
i wouldn’t have prayed to, or believe in, any of them.
but it was how it was.
i guess they’re just pathetic during those years for some reason.

me being back here “early” (b4 ambi and the others) … might actually be a gift; letting me enjoy it and recharge before i have to deal with any more petty human/oid bullshit.
they Have needed my guidance this whole Time, after all; they probably still will.

doc2 still hasn’t figured out that HE isn’t the visionary; i am,
and HE and HIS kind aren’t authorities or wise or guides; Iii am,
and HIS “gods” aren’t the ones in charge of the realms and testing ppl and checking worthiness; I do that.

me resorting to ambi-like porn isn’t an addiction to her;
it is me Bypassing the Lame version of her… until she grows the fuck up and behaves like a REAL woman; SUPPORTIVE of me, her Man.
me using porn is me doing what i love, and HONORING myself/nature, rather than letting loser bitches try and deprogram that essence/holiness out of me.
and her typist whining at me not to say certain words? that is NO DIFFERENT than jls-demon-tard insanely hyper-rudely trying to pray away Inisfree right in front of me; it is Them trying to shame/devalue and change ME.
NOT gonna happen, demon shits!
you are NOT the real ambi.
i wait for the REAL ambi; the good, whole, and Balanced one!
AMEN!

deja vu from the sexy witch comic online “Familiar”,
but so nice to rediscover and use it.
must be a repeat blessing.
I’m mad it isn’t the witch Nevaeh I was introduced to by Ambi, but whatever.
I guess they’re still in pathetic asshole mode… a bit longer.
I suppose me finishing my site (mega-spell/s) is now taking effect on them, so they need this time to study it and become good for me.

Just like so many times now, huge buildup and release, today w the irlj june sec.

I’ve been happy with myself for a Long time. What i Havent been happy w is other Ppl –bc they keep shifting the goddamn goalpost on me, and smiling but refusing to engage.
And i am attracted to smart and manners, and they havent been Either.

Aaaaaand queue the bullshit messages yet again;
radio silence from erin after claiming into a documentary w me,
and doc2 saying my soulmate has red hair. Wrong; my soulmate is ambi; black hair. Period. End of story.
Ariel can be my supplemental soulmate if ambi returns and shows me all those people she softdisclosed to me.
I am not changing my holy path bc some VA-drugged alleged “seer” fucked up just lile everyone else has so far.
…
Thinking a soulmate is something other than who i choose? That is evil chaos-based. More phase2 mix bullshit; telling me half what i want to hear, but with the wrong end, and without any evidence or legit vibe.
Smh
Shame on you, god/s; more “kicking me while i’m down”.

Also, all the women i made webpages about are my soulmates. I dont have just one soulmate.
Maybe he just saw one soulmate and is brainwashed to think there can be only 1 soulmate per person.
Maybe he saw Ariel, Isabella, Kendra, Pamela, Rogue, etc.
If i have learned anything, it is that humans like him always say lies, sometimes believing them, and always fail, and I always progress beyond them.
Maybe he was just shown a false vision…to get him to say that bs to me just now…bc it helps me charge up and refocus on ambi.

However, if doc2 was seeing Ambi in her Ariel form, since Ambi did say she sometimes likes (to appear as) redheads, then that is acceptable and she is my soulmate.

How i hate hearing the shitty tv show…of the roomtard.
How i wish i was w my loves already.
…
A year or so after having to leave here in ~2018, ambi showed up…and then again half a year after that; maybe even if i have to leave this time…she will show up more than once for me.
I can hope.

Since doc2 took VA “meds”, and if he took the vax, he prob just has random bs “visions” 5G beamed into him…to mislead him and anyone who listens to him.
Disregard his “vision” claim.
Even if it Was a vision, my heart and nature and decision matter far more.
The gods should help make my relationahip choice/s work.

The horrible ambi and roomtard situation sure does keep me outside more and more.
But what is the point until my loves show up again?
Ughhhhhhhh! I HATE this uncertain time btwn!!!
FUCK!
I want my huff power to cause my Loves to return to me as powerfully as it seems to have caused quakes.
I want it to cause more money and credit for me.
I want it to soften ambi’s heart to me.

Loopbreak: in 2018 when i saw that tan teen blonde on the elec scooter go by, i hurried out and got on my bicycle…but did not find her. This time, i chilled.
Does that mean i am better at being by myself now?
In a way.

Came back to yoga outside… Thought it was serene. Of course the freak ruined that vibe by blasting trans evil on the tv.
God and mankind really are pure disgusting worthless shits…
Smh

Deja vu / memory refresh. Saw ppl on the green bridge today getting ready to jump in. Turned around to say hi and maybe join them, but saw the 2 girls were severely deformed n the face… What the hell happened to that species?? : (
Why so many awful signs always derailing my attempts to connect and have a life?

Wonderful long dream of actual formsake Amber meeting me oitside one of her movie sets, asking about my work, and I telling her how floored I was with lust when first I saw her, choosing her look as the basis for one of my main characters. We then got undressed and fucked after walking around, and kept holding hands and kissing between walks to other movie sets, seeing other actors and actresses she was working with.

Another day of ambi and the others still not rogering up, and my hatred for them growing. How dare they get my hopes up, expect telepathy, let me be worn out, judge me when they deserve to be judged, and leave me hanging this long.

Finally stopped gaming, using the computer, and jacking.
Had the best dream in a long time; meeting and smiling sex w amber formsake.
Feeling like letting go of those longtime resorts/tools now frees up my dreamgirls to return irl.
Amen.
May my energy re-rise, and to new heights, summoning them, seducing them, thrilling them.

Ambi nonpage note:
I think she was so used to hiding, sneaking, and blending in to avoid the psycho humans…that she forgot how to be open, how to be honest, how to have a relationship, how not to parrot the tv/masses…
I think she really did love me and want a family with me.
But until she gains courage and lets me see her life as much as she spied on mine without my consent, her/our family dream/plan is paused, out of my control.
Smh.
What another letdown.
What a huge disappointment.
I was ready to go all the way with her.
But she kept being such a chicken and idiot.
And that lardbag in indy both times? Prob just a xian troll trying to make me disgusted and doubting the real her.
…
Based on her messages and behavior n person, my guess is she will idiotically / counterproductively try to blameshift to me instd of facing the blatant reality that she sabotaged our own relationship by keeping me struggling and guessing, in the dark, fed only scraps and false hope.
Will she ever grow up and apologize to me?
Will she ever make this right?
I wish…but i don’t see signs to that rn.

The roomtard now apparently coughing chronic…is karma; for the bs last time, and the pharma lies this time. Prob has a chemical stuck n its system keeping it sick now. Lol. Serves it right.

Half a month without the roomtard is gonna be so much btr…but then more homeless moments…and the goddamn whiner rodent… Ugh.
When do i get to get out of here and have my 364cabin?
Why is it taking this long?
Why don’t at least Ariel and Ashton show up like Ambi and Sabrina have?
I need out of this garbage rental!

I am still in disgusted shock that after all those years of courting, she still didnt have the guts or manners or sense to say at the very least “it is really me”.
Was it pride? Fear? Both?
What an absolute moron.
A family with her during such a psychosis would have been hell; imagine all she would have expected, then blamed and punished me for…
What an utter fool.
She was only good at texting… and hurting ppl.
Like the other dumb bitches, she couldnt even handle compliments!

Will ambi and i get together for real this time?
Will we get bk tgthr like Edward and Bella?
That’s up to her.
I would if she would be reasonable for once.

I hope we havent stayed apart for a lame reason.
I hope being apart isnt for the best.
I hope it wasnt to avoid an Ursula magic disguise Little Mermaid situation.
I hope it was just to get my work done while she fixed her mindset to be better at our relationship.

“Get who you talk to”? Not at all; i talked to that bitch for 10 years or more and she stayed cowardly and mixed-signal.
Fuck wastes of time like that.
That was practically stalling –even though i managed to use it as good-enough socializing/venting.

I remember erin telling me in 2018 she was riding her bicycle, having 2nd thoughts, etc., …but about what?; I hadnt seen or spoken of the loop back then.
Maybe she is a chatbot, too.
Maybe all this is just another dumbass test from the watchers/pussies.

What IS that little “force”/thing that keeps stopping me from mingling w the hotties? They r in a mood, or I am, or they dont show when i am ready or seeking, etc. … Something has kept stopping us from teaming up…so far.

Just like in 2018, she was n the corner after i had been on the treadmill, and i tried saying goodmorning to her but she stayed frowning.
Just like in 2018, i enjoyed her tight tan midriff from the balcony seated press.
Just like in 2018, we lingered beside each other on the machines near the main stairs, then she slowly walked down and out.
I tried to break the loop/ice, but nada…
I wonder why it re-happened like this.
Why was she not there early like last week?

If all that brave honesty and goodness only results in cowardly spying and shittalk messages…
and if all my hard work only manifests idiots who rudely refuse to talk to me,
project is done; no point doing any more.
Was it just solo bc i focused on finishing it? Or was it solo bc the ppl who manifested/noticed were cunts?
All i can do now is wait and see.
If they return and congratulate me and apologize, then it was worth it and worked.
If not, it was worth it enough to gice the cunts my middle fingers that long.

The chicks and others might not be there to test or offend me; they might just be mindless loops/NPCs…that react coldly to Anyone…bc they were programmed to…maybe to distract from the possible fact they were not programmed to converse beyond that…

Memory refresh. Hummocks trail. Was in orange fleece and insecure in 2018.
Now? Black scottevest and just pissed.
It is the others who should feel insecure after how they treated me.

Even though I hate these extra years, and this 2nd trip/experience dealing with the peasants/NPCs here, it sure is supercharging and wrapping up and taking my megaspell to the next/greatest level…
Since it summoned Ambi multiple times before, imagine what it will do now, years later, completed…
wow.
Maybe this IS for the best…
Maybe it Will make sure my children get gestated, born, and raised perfectly, invincible and always loving obeying me, feeling their best when following my instructions/commands/guidance –their momma feeling the same way about letting me be the man of their house/bloodline.

7:45 PM Saturday 1 July 2023:
It is said the gods made 9 realms;
1 for the Angels / Fire Elementals; Muspelheim
1 for the (in a neutral/good way) Dark/Shadow Beings; Helheim
1 for the cold ones; Niflheim
…
1 for the light/surface/tree Elves; Alfheim
1 for the cave/underground Elves; Svartalfheim
1 for the giants; Jotunheim (now known as Nibiru? –or did these large ancestors make Saturn, then Jupiter, then Nibiru and other worlds for themselves, shifting or adding to Jotunheim?)
…
1 for the Light Elementals / Fairies; Vanaheim
1 for the Air Elementals; Asgard
1 for where it all began; Midgard (invaded by humans from Deep Space in the 1600s?; not originally meant for them)
and Yggdrasil connects them all…
but now there seems to be a 10th realm (if that wasn’t Yggdrasil); now there is Inisfree (w/ SSA).

–
Didnt hear from erin for months…years? Then suddenly she responds and asks to call me and we now text multiple times a day.
That makes me hope the same will come true w all the hotties I have called out to and wanted, especially my beloved wife, Ambi. I want them to call me, leave loving messages, ask to meet me, come to meet me, support me, and visit me regularly, always adoringly.

Wow. Doc2 just admitted his visions change as unreliably as stuff drawn on sand, and that he just guessed he saw my soulmate bc one vision was some petite redhead looking at me lovingly. That means he exaggerated like any phase1 did. That means he prob saw Ariel. That means he doesnt know how many soulmates there are, and so on.
Ugh.
At least he was clearer in his reply.
At least he replied/answered, unlike ambi and the others so far.

Finished updating more than 100 webpages with computer model screenshots, turned off pc, dumped rain just like after all my waves of updates.
Interesting.
And 5th or so rainbow seen this time here.

If roomtard hadnt annoyed the shit out of me once again, i wouldnt have seen the best rainbow here yet.

And all of a sudden, just like that, all my minecraft ss were useful, used, published. Now their vision/s are held by all who see those webpages. Amen.

“A great woman”? Doc2 assumes ambi is great… Why?
She has not even shown me if she is pretty naked.
She has not been there when i needed or called to her.
Her typist was an abusive disgusting retard to me.
She spied without my consent.
She did not let me know she was serious or even real.
She did not let me see Her life.
She tested instd of helped me.
Her writing was full of errors.
She saddened me more than even rjh had.
So far, all she was is pretty with clothes, and temporarily decent as writing sexy stuff and family start.
So far, she was just like anyone else; needing TONS of work and guidance.
There is not yet Anything great about her.
I have been the great one; i loved her even with all those flaws ans wrongdoings.
I loved her even while she stayed hidden from me.
I worked wonders with scraps…while she didnt even compliment my feats.
I gave her Many ways to find and reach me…while she gave none.

Ambi did the exact dumbass thing she RPed getting mad at Caitlyn and Blaire for; showing up and not saying it was her.
She did it 4 or 5 times in a row.
What a fucktard.

Does this repeated vendor job mean i am Not supposed to try chatting up the hotties this time?
They may be dolls/bots anyway, but still; not fun to be limited.
At least it pays, though…
Fucking phase2.
I guess it is fine; i hated the piercings, paint, and typical sexist laziness of them, anyway.
Smh.
Another round of nonvegan unattractive lowpay bs. Whatever. God never was any good at hooking me up and making right all he made wrong.

In ~2018, i believe it was doc2 who texted that bs about “gotta get good at being alone”. 6 years of being left alone wasnt enough? After i was aready fine being alone, just not fine being kept wounded and poor.
…
But didnt i get my tats in 2019 after starting lowe’s? Didnt i meet him Then?
So why am i thinking he messaged me that “gotta get good at being alone” bs back then?
Did i move here After the tats?
No way… No, I tried the nursery job and left from There…
Weird.
Maybe it is another magic time warp thing…

Memory refresh. New brown hanging pass… Last time, it made me sad I had it instd of the yc one. This time, it just annoys and angers me, while giving me yet another example of how excellent my longterm memory is.

Memory refresh. Yeti dog and lift pass. Last time, the price stressed me. This time, just pissed and disappointed at ambi and god and all.

Why do you build me up just to let me down” radio psyop bs.
Gay.
All that trouble to bother me and others…
They could easily have just been good to me for free.

Loopbreak. Not gonna ride 3rd (Explorer) lift and walk dn like b4. Would just make me lonely and sunburned.

I still can’t believe they were That Dumb; they thought i would initiate after Decades of abuse and betrayals…
She thought i would go for her…even though she didnt even let me know she was real, let alone coming, let alone coming for Me.
How stupid can she Be?
All of them, really, but esPecially her; she had a Decade of extra time getting to know me…and she Still chose rudeness and stupidity…
Smh.
How will i Ever have a family while she and the others are behaving that stupidly?
Why even show up at All if they only do that??
Smh

Seeing the pics of the bowdens after finally looking at their pg again…showed me no healthy one was lost, and they need all the shutdown they can get; what a trainwreck.

No excuse in the universe is enough to make up for the time lost…
None of them deserve my gratitude or sympathy.
Any of them could have stayed in touch.
All of them could have said hello.
I hate that i am still solo…
I would give up, but i am already too bored.
I can’t get in great shape, but i can and will at least keep doing what little i can as a neglected man.
I really thought my openness and wisdom and honor would be rewarded…and more so than just distsncing the turds who don’t like such things.

Now that sue has shown me she was spying and tracking and intercepting me, i know she could be here at any moment.
She showed up when i was n the exact same fitness those times b4, so why not now?
Makes me really hate the bitch.

I never thought all my work would get zero interest…
I never thought even ambi would leave me hopeless.
I never thought i would end up old and alone.
I never thought i would see looped ppl…and even my past self.
What does it all mean?
Why does she not meet me when she knows who i want and where i am and why i came and why i returned?
Why does she say Nothing…after showing up multiple times?
Why give me mixed signals like that?
How can she claim she wants a relationship while being so secretive and weird?

I just can’t be excited to meet anyone anymore after all their consistently weird and horrible and childish behavior.
I hate ever moment in this rental.
I am bored out of my mind.
What do i do??????
Why no signs Ever?
Why more shit jobs?
I am a conSultant, for christ’s sake!
I know so much…
Why don’t ppl flock to it and want my time?
So many ugly ppl have made it. Why not me??

Now that i have no more pc stuff to do, how the hell do i stay sane?
Staying busy kept me sane and hopeful and proud…but Now what??
…
Sigh)
I always lose it and erupt before help comes; maybe this is necessary to charge me back up enough to signal/summon her/others…
I just hate that they wait for it… I dont want to have to break down every time i need/get to see one of them.

And now even doc2 is not responding to my messages. I am genuinely attempting to understand his message, yet he barely replies.
I am genuinely attempting to b w ambi, yet she stays hidden.
There is no lesson here. There is just me being my good self…and others not.

July 4th will be another lonely hell…
Why 40 yrs of awful lonely holidays?
Why can’t i just be w my ppl?
Why must i still be around these damn weird humanimals??

Why wasnt she glad i respected what looked like her brother or date in Oregon?
Why wasnt she glad i noticed her in Butte?
Why didnt she let me know it was her in Arizona?
Why didnt she say anything in Oceanside?
Why isnt she thrilled I went to MT and Indiana TWICE for her?
Does she just always do stupid shit and react negatively?
How can she expect me to believe it is her when she acts like a random stranger?
Why did she say so much in texts for years, but zero in person?
If she didnt like my look, why return so many times?
She clearly seemed into me…???
…
And why have they All been illogical and moody and unreliable so far?
Why have they All been hidden, rarely seen?
…
So many questions…
How do bitches Ever get laid, acting like that?

I wrote about being a Marine, then got to be one.
I wrote about travel and exploration…and got to for a good long while.
I wrote about the relationships I wanted, too, so why haven’t I gotten That?
Why did Some things I wrote happen…while others didn’t?
I never Once wrote about being misinterpreted and neglected…
I wrote about being wealthy, healthy, and surrounded by real loves…
Does it just take longer to happen??

I am so smart and open. Why were such dumb and cold bitches sent?
How can i ever feel motivated or attracted when they always behaved the same dumbass way?
There r so many ways to contact and interact w me. Why don’t they use Any of them?
And now i am so spiritually/emotionally tired; how will i ever have enough energy to erupt again?
The bottom line is this is how women and all keep making me feel, and that is not sustainable.

If roomie goes to nj, i will have surprise extra week or so to myself; almost entire month. Needed it. Was annoyed by the noises etc.
Pleasant surprise, but i still need a miracle; ambi being kind to me for once. Ambi letting me into the house she said we own. We. Ambi living up to her word.
She would be the first woman ever to…n my life.
That’s why, and bc of all this damn time left alone, i don’t believe she will.
I’m just so tired of being misinterpreted and abandoned.
Being myself never should have been this hard.
Fuck.
This is sure a lull.
“Days” and “nights”.
…
Will i ever get to experience ambi and the others clinging to me so we can help each other through the “nights” from now on?
I want that so much.
Why can’t she just understand my intentions?
Why can’t she use her powers for good?

I lost jrotc…but rotc was btr.
Lost it, but usmc was btr.
Lost it, but after was btr.
I had to let go of uscmc…then my tnh site…and now current one is a bazillion times btr.
Had to let go of honda, but got jeep. Lost jeep, bit got free lux suv.
Had to let go of clay model…but got minecraft one…and creativerse ones.
So i don’t get why letting the hotties pass…has not resulted n the same. Sure, i went from cleary and rjh to ame and kelsi…but to ambi and sabrina etc. is not happening yet. Why?
Everything Else got btr… ?????????
How many times do i have to let go of the bad ones…before good girls show up for me???

Memory refresh: 26$ tiny crabcakes from Olive B’s.
Ugh.
When can things just work WELL?!

What the hell is the point in going through indiana and montana neglegence all over again????

The perfect long blonde tan sleek legs 20s girl outside on curb by the Lotus place…seems familiar. Is she a repeat of 2018, too?
Just like back then, i think, i parked to walk over, and she was no longer there.
Was she outside to smoke?
What an emotionally painful world.

Memory refresh: gave up on 3july and resorted to chapel prayer, found doors locked, emailed all, saw amy ditullio on list of staff, ugh.
Why this loop?
Why am i being punished when i was left in the dark and thought i was being respectful and selfdisciplined?
Where the fuck will i go now??

Deja vu on asking for horoscope reading after showing birth cert to linda

Her vehic not being there this 4:30am spared me from wasting my note; it started raining right when i got back. Will try again whenever i see the vehic
…
So nice to hear the thunder and light rain this predawn.

Even of ambi was bad and cowardly, i am glad i wrote of the family i actually want, glad i tried to start it, and glad i will continue waiting, if i must, for what i know is right for me.
I gave all my info,
I did my best,
and I set a very realistic and easy standard for her.
I also blocked her inappropriate typist.
She made it clear she can spy through my phone or mind or whatever anyway, so the typist and rp served no more purpose.
I gave her ten years of my time. That is plenty. It is her turn to be available and present and fair now.
Is she serious and brave enough?

Last time (2018), her not being here…lead to my pyramid ascension, back tattoo design, computer models, Inisfree Spaceways, and site wrap-up. 3 of 4 years of new and final ideas and work, all long needed amd extremely impressive.
This time is obviously different; the site is done, those final ideas came through, and i witnessed looped ppl and my 2018 gym self…so does that mean this time She will be the years-long next step; in person with me, once and for all, finally talking, finally family?
I hope.
If it is up to me, I choose yes/her.

Roomie said the year, 2023. I was wondering if these ‘ppl’ were n 2018 or thought it was 2018. Now i know, at least for her.

The astrology book cover has that random lowercase and uppercase font bs i hate.

Fuckboy matt never sent the paperwork he said he would. Typical. And i bet he did this rude bs last time.
But he shouldnt have even mentioned it; should have just told me they will pay me to live there. These dickheads fail to value me appropriately. They should not be allowed to live here themselves.

The rain helped me sleep in, and sleeping in helps me pass these days before my hotties unite w me.

Venting to DB and doc2 and the rest…keeps proving useless.
Asking for prayers keeps proving useless.
Waiting for hotties to be good has been useless.
All i can do is keep practicing dealing w the hells these goddamn useless humans cause.
I wish like anything/hell i could cataclysm them for all theyve done to me.
I am so glad and proud of myself for all i designed and accomplished in spite of them.
I am so glad my blood has been godly, steering me since all their “gods” failed / are fake.

I didnt ask for another goddamn book, or a repeat of this book i was shown last time.
I dont need a book to guide me.
I dont need to further accept myself.
I need and deserve the balancing team w ambi i wrote of.
My own writing is the guide and sign.
I deserve to be honored by those i chose.
They should be liking who i am and treating me well, not overreacting and tantrum-ing and abandoning me like they have.

Cb doesnt need me as a friend. That is just db panicking and trying to get his monster child more to parasitically latch onto. Cb needs more of what he just got.
He already had me as a friend for years and fucked that up every possible way.
Same as ambi and the others did.
Shameful.
No one gets me as a friend anymore.
Not until some new hotties earn that from me.
No more goddamn handouts to this failed species of ingrates and scum.
My blood feeling, whether in rage or serenity mode, is my only true and worthy guide and sign.
All signs come from within; from my blood.
…
How i hate those who smiled at me or intercepted, then went cold and negligent. Mercurial little dumbass shits.
Anger is a more useful emotion than despair. At least in this phase.

Another video about defeating cancer with sound…but lame to me bc i know how to prevent it, not just attack what will recur on the idiotic nonvegan diets.

My astrology natal chart showed no planetary guidance in / lines through inner-circle section-8, suggesting a weakness regarding debt, and i have been in debt, but it was never my fault; i worked hard, saved, invested, spent reasonably, sought balance through teamwork, etc., and my debt was due to the debt-based fake-monetary system, lies about my credit score, dealership scams, VA scams, ambulance extortion, police extortion, court extortion, and on and on, never anything that was my fault. So does that mean my birth time is incorrect, as some friends have claimed?

–
a few more missing TOCs and such found and fixed
a few more un-linked site-terms found and linked

–
that hookup app bitch who called me and offered 600M then ghosted…
and now ambi who DIDN’T call but DID say we already own my dreamcabin… and then ghosted…
are pretty much the same bullshit/demon/evil.
…
not okay.

deja vu from seeing the hot tan blonde perfect face jawline braided valkyrie pigtails in light blue suv with black gear case on side of top…
this 2nd time, again at same intersection; to my latest waypoint…
and deja vu from her looking ahead, focused/stern, jaw set, totally dif from the 1st time (in 2018 and now; first time, her eyes lit up when she saw me waving on my way to get takeout)
…so is it a loop if i leave her a note?
did I last time?
idk
worth a shot, though.
no one is reaching out to Me rn.
again.

…

Note how Ambi and I got along perfectly for a decade…
until I wrote/RPed offering freedom/release to her ‘dark’ half/side.
After that, she kept being negative about all-good things,
and seeing only nonexistent bad,
and talking shit,
and getting news/facts wrong,
and doing the silent-treatment.
…There are no coincidences.
But… that isn’t on me; I gave her a VERY specific/clear rule/condition,
and she ignored that.
I also said I wanted her whole, and sometimes her typist SAID that “the queen was now whole”,
but… she wasn’t really RPing that;
she was pretending to.
So it seems to me that she went ALL-dark, at least back then, perhaps to get it out of her system.
And, of course, nothing worked better for completing my life’s work / design / wrap-up than her alienating me that completely back then.
It all works out.
…
and note how, for that first decade we wrote together (planned our union / family), it was always love and “always and forever” and “my all” and her being VERY protective of me, her husband…
while only after I wrote of offering to release/parole her ‘dark’ side/half/personality… did it become: condescension, insults, threats (“I’ve gone dark for centuries.”), mocking the game-engines I’d had to resort to, silent-treatment, etc.
…
“You deserve the best, and that’s Ambi.” became “I’m finished.” See the total difference/opposite? I hadn’t fucked anything up; she just switched to asshole-mode for a time.
I bet it made her other half, after all the work she put in to forming our relationship/bond/s, go nuts, re-imprisoning her dark-side once and for all –or at least merging with it far better than before.
Her darkside comments showed how desperately She needed/needs Me.

Claiming Ragnarok will or did happen… is just the standard typical retarded default-neg/deathcult humanimal/Outlander spell/way/trick of causing sadness, fear, hopelessness, powerlessness, etc..
Thankfully, I realized that Ragnarok can only happen to those who set it as their god (ultimate); it cannot affect those who reject it, especially those whose blood/instinct knows it is wrong/weak/false.
Assuming something will be destroyed… reduces energy, and sometimes delays or stops effort/progress/construction.
Assuming something has Been destroyed… distract by causing/persuading you to research/search for it… when it might not even be there.
Even the interesting / well-made ancient/megalithic ruins… could all be just debris placed there to LOOK like something was there… when really/maybe… only what I have foreseen and designed and spellcraft-/spellcast-started… is here and/or to be.
Even the pretend-/partial-positive comments/assumptions/wording, such as Carlos at GGD saying “You’re making New Asgard.” is worded in such a way that may be revealing/betraying an attempt to make my work seem unoriginal/regurgitated, when… really my work is divine in every way. I am NOT making a new ANYthing; I am making First and ONLY INISfree.

At least the roomtard was useful for some astrology upgrades to my school system.
In 2018 when i was here, i must have just read a bit about it but been too busy with building the new (current) website to get to adding any of it.

Ambi rd1 was oasiz, starting w dark and disinterested, then losing contact.
Ambi rd2 was contact restored, Discord, loving relationship co-creating, starting our family, attempted restoration of her wholeness, IRL appearances, and then having to silence her typist’s inappropriate messages.
Ambi rd3 is perfect/ed whole in-person AZ-hottie her, returning to me in person, staying with me, re-marrying me permanently, and actually making our babies (all 4 at once).

Ideas and pics used to build up for years. Now? They get processed and uploaded same-day, often.

So disgusting, that message from the latest EVE/amerifail idiot; “was this real?”
You sick fuck. It was in-game rp. Grow a fucking brain.
But its/his disgusting retardedness and pestering and warping things was another sure sign to end that 2nd rd of EVE.

So disgusting to see all the bowdns still havent improved one bit.
But this is my 2nd rd of interaction w them, and i have learned to observe first, keep their kind at a distance, and celebrate when Any such bad beings fail back out.

The looped ppl btwn 2017-2018 and 2022-2023 got me to be Much more detailed w my expeditions notes, icv dir formsakes, History by-year milestone bulletnotes, etc.

Memory refresh. Only 1 almost hot at july4 concert, same as in 2018; loose bluejean pants and jacket, bulejean sports bra, tan midriff and c-cups and dsl dace i wanted to j to later, minus lipstick and fug gfriend.

I wonder if the light blue stationwagon face hottie has tried to leave notes for me like i have for her…

The only thing keeping me going rn is grit or having nothing else to do But keep going.
Hope isnt keeping me going anymore, not after how all the hotties treated me, whether i got w them or not.
Not a peep from ambi or anyone.
Just wayne and doc2 saying somewhat positive bs that hasnt come true one bit.
Why?
I was honorable.

If they wanted me to be braver n person, why werent they?
And why is it that i waited for ambi in indiana and here for a YEAR a piece, 4x now, yet she only appeared for a minute or two a few times, leaving me wondering?
Why is me waiting so much longer…not good enough?
Why does she keep showing up if i am not good enough to message or talk to?

The signs are uniform and clear; those i seek r not here yet…and winter is coming again…
Goddamnit.

Having this much time was necessary to get the site in full order,
and all details decided on b4 i write anymore,
and all images chosen and used,
so others can see and auto hold the vision w me,
but it still bothers me a lot… that ambi and the rest have stayed so hidden.

Is it depression…or experience…or instinct and signs telling me not to bother chatting w the almost-hots?
All 3?
As strongly as i felt the pull to enlist, and to resist the bad jarheads, i keep feeling the pull to stop approaching the hotties who have never once behaved right.
How can i get into the next ch of life without ppl behaving well to me?
How can phase3 begin?

I dont like the smells or food or music or ppl here…but that was how i felt about all cities…bc all were nonvegan, ugly, cold…

I am so sick of resorting to selfcare, even though it got me through so much, saved so much time, and directly contributed to me harnessing and cultivating my vril/energy.

I am so fed up with having to block human after human, thousands and maybe millions of times now…
But at least it isnt thousands to millions of offenses and crimes and evils committed by the Same handful of humans, like in phase1.

Why won’t what i asked for manifest?
Why dint the hotties like ambi look for and see My good…like i always did w Them?
Why dont they give Their contact info…like i gave?
Why do they keep canceling out my energy/interest?

The astrology book showed how other planets/forces are not in trines or other supporting relationships with me/mine, and that is so upsettingly true of life so far; no one supported me but me…yet.
Yet, i hope.

All i can do to take the edge off is abandon these concerts and stay n the gym…
but now that goddamn job i had to take to stop the cc issue…has me at Every concert the whole Time!
AHHHHHHH -_-

I keep wanting to email that ambi typist…but why? Sure, she wrote better over the years, but that is horseshit bc she had all that time to send real Ambi.
She had all that time to use my email or phone number.
She had all that time to ask to date.
She had all that time to do more than make believe.
And for all the improvements she showed, she had just as many downfalls/worsenings in the final months; the start of 2022.
I have detoxed for a year from her…
It has been a year since I finally blocked her after that rude horrible Spring.
How can I consider regressing?
I know she should have met me in person and said it was her.
I know she should now reach out to contact me through all my channels.
It is such an awful feeling to not be valued by her enough to be greeted and met halfway, or trusted, or reached for.

More gaslighting from phase1 doc2; the “self sabotage” meme,
and the “less time on fb; wasting precious time” message.
Why send that to me?
It is others who keep selfsabotaging; they keep ignoring my posts and needs and requests.
I worked so hard to help and learn from them, yet i have not seen or felt that in return.
They sabotaged themselves and us/me.
I hate this time.
I hate these frustrating intervals.
I deserve better.
I have always deserved better.

Just me carrying on…is btr than when it was so many against me.
And it seems that proto ambi was just the least cruel and final asshole against me.
So now i just get through this solo survival time…and hope the good Ambi is eager to unite with me when this bs ends and phase3 begins.
Fuck, i hate not knowing.

Tried 2nd time at july4 concert but onky more fugs, half hots, deathcylt necklaces, bad old music, horrible nonvegan smells…
Where can i go to get good signs and my soul ppl?
Why dont they just know me and answer?

Thousands of ppl here…but not the hundreds i asked for.
Not one yet.
Why?
All i asked for was my ppl. Friends. Fam.

The music sucks. The ppl suck.
But music and crowds r btr than anymore time alone or at pc.
…weird to be at this point; spent so much time devoted to the good work…
and i used it to avoid and not think about the weird humans.
Will…the crowds get btr over time just by me being out n them…
just like my awful sites got perfect?
Uscmc…then tnh…now abd.

July4 concert played Blinded by the Light, The Weeknd, at 9:37ish. Loved the sound and speakers feel up close.
First time i felt good.
Not ideal, but good…
Wow.

Even my thought “maybe some here just look like teens and tweenies but r agelocked like Adalgari” is a repeat.

Memory refresh. The leggy medium tan brunette n short bluejean shorts exiting Tips Up and sitting in skyline taxi minivan, just like last time…
How i wish i had the answer to why this loop is here.
If anything, it is showing me how no one initiated w me, or honored me, and how ambi and the others did not come to dance w me…
It is reminding me how neutral they r here, like elsewhere.
It is reminding me i waited so long, tried everything, and was right to leave…
: (

Me making myself go out to concerts and trails and the gym,
and only selfcaring when others dont help,
are all very good signs of a focus on health and living life.
Going to all those veteran events was, too.
…
And my instincts tell me what i wrote w the typist IS the right life for me…
And until i see Ambi again, instinct tells me to selfcare and wait.
Seizing what i want, at the moment, means waiting and not settling.
Selfcare never stopped them from showing up, and it never made me feel worse, so, for now, i resort to it some more.
I hate it. It is no addiction. But it takes the edge off…until they learn to treat me right, no longer hiding, not showing me i can trust them.

Maybe ambi not being back w me yet…means she Wants me to think aboit and further manifest the other hotties we will enjoy.

Was i supposed/destined to see these ppl on repeat? Idk. But i have now…
so there clearly are supernatural and curious things to this world, just as i knew were possible.
Now, like w ambi and sabrina, i have at least experience/memory/witnessing as evidence.

There were actually some really good big fireworks tonight.

The fireworks keep me up late, helping me see more hotties, j longer, etc.

Seeing shaiden rogue and other ambi lookalikes…reminds me how barely sexual she was…
I get that she may have had to be all-monster/vampire for a long time, but still; i deserved Way more openness and playfulness from her…
and any woman who isnt always eager for sex w her man is odd and suspicious and needing work

Every time i let go, they return better.
I let go for a full year this time…so…should result in Much btr.

Ss ambi lovingly texts me “I am getting my ass fucked like a good little whore.”
and
“I am making sure they all cum deep inside me like I love.”
My daughters text me that about their dates, too, sometimes calling so I can hear them being fucked.

Since none who showed up were what/how i wanted…
Since the gods havent been what i wanted…
What do i do now?
…
Some revealed they Look good…
and some revealed they were Listening/Spying…
but beyond that, they would not say hi, or that it was them, or that they were coming…

I hope focusing on offline life…will somehow cause it to get much btr…like it did my website…

I hope i do not live and die alone. : /

Did doc2 really see a vision of Ariel?
If he did, that means Ambi will marry me and get Ariel for me…
I hope…this is the case.

Staying up late and sleeping in is a nice luxury.
I just wish it was w my loves.

Staying out late helps me fall sleep better, less time or energy to worry.

I am glad the typist’s abusive misuse of the pb/character only turned me off to the typist; i am glad i still embrace my attraction to the character’s looks.

Still getting nothing on social media…
and emails to do jobs other than consulting…
and no word from any hottie I chose…
so I can only wait for sane appropriate compatible behavior from this sorry self-defeating species.
The longer they make me wait, the less i feel any attraction to them.
They should have helped me w lifebalance all along.
I shouldnt make excuses for their godawful behavior/deviancy.
They are just bad.

Hottie smiled at me, her eyes lighting up. Our paths had crossed and paused together. Left her a note. Best i could do since i dont know how to find her other than by her vehic. Up to her if she wants to engage like her eyes said she did.
I’m a writer anyway; ppl should like my letters and books.

I had hoped lfb would see all the obvious good and honor…eventually…but she didnt. She failed completely and viciously, lying to monster corrupt pigs, pretending I was a pedophile, then tried to pressure me into dating and breeding on command, revealing She was the pedophile.
I hoped rjh would be loyal… She turned into a bully and a drunk.
I hoped cpl kelly would talk. She never did.
I hoped kelsi would keep showing interest, but she became a complete punk, fickle, and druggie.
Dinaa didnt bother to tell me her tits were severely messed up, then blamed Me for not being aggressive enough… instead of sparing me a plane ticket or at least apologizing and refunding it.
Alyssa of Arlington pretended to like me, and had sex with me, just to hurt her enlisted bf. She even lied to her best friends in front of me… instead of just not doublebooking.
Ashley let me get a gym membership to climb w her and then ghosted instd of just saying she wasnt into climbing or being there.
Maile tried to move in after a one-night and without even basic hygiene.
Ame didnt bother to tell me she had a frankenstine monster sharkbite scar…and then used me…and brought home parasites…and relentlessly tried to breed prematurely…without even knowing whose it was.
Jls made my college hw late in the holy land, lied to her church about me, had them harass me, got blackout drunk weekly, assaulted me, lied to the cops, committed perjury, and left me homeless and resorting to childabuser parents again.
Countless women online, such as Freya typist, lied to and about me, treating me like garbage no matter how good I was to them.
Ambi used a typist for a DECADE, pretending to want a family, and let me get worn out to the point of nervous breakdowns, refusing to even talk to me or call or anything, and even lied to me about my dreamhome, ignoring me FOUR TIMES I MOVED TO BE WITH HER, sending some fat disgrace to creepily and disgustingly wave at me, pretending it was her… and was even a covidiot pharma parrot; laziest and dumbest of the dumb.
So far, I haven’t met a single non-evil woman…
They have not just been ignorant or immature or struggling; they were pure evil and proud Of it.
And they wonder why I gave up talking to any of them.
“Why don’t you do this? You should do That.” bs Should have been “What do you like? May I please help you enjoy this and that? Am I doing alright? What can I improve? I really enjoy our time together. Thank you so much for all you do for me.”
…
I guess there just aren’t any good ppl yet…
Christ.

Going out and trying to interact isnt working…so i will just not.
At least when the roomtard isnt here.
There were only assholes and deviants and fugmonsters so far…again.
Same as in 2018. Literally the same; looped or copies or whatever they are.

I wonder how many wear the deathcult necklace to deceive their corrupt evil parents…
Hopefully all who wear it.

Visions of hot wives and GFs from the concert/s going home w me, partners trading/swapping them, make me smile. I always default to hope and love and health…but every time i get close, they have something very wrong, like a look n the eyes, or an evil symbol, or the weirdest behavior…
Why do i keep getting forced back away?

I suppose I could ask the editor connection how to publish fanfiction without copyright infringement, but even that is submitting to an evil law i did not have a say in…

And now for a repeat of the useless smalltalk and bullshitting and pretending i want to chat w nonvegan fugtard bots/NPCs, the polar opposite of what i have asked for for DECADES.
why??
I now totally see why some ppl suicide out.

If any of them had been good, they would have given me their contact info, said how they knew it was me, donated to me, and let me unwind and rest w them all along the way.
They never would have allowed me to end up w fugtards, they never would have let nonvegans and queers ruin their towns, and they never would have disrespected me.
They certainly wouldnt let me be abused by corrupt cops.
They would be celebrating all my website/vision milestones…

This place doesnt value me.
And these remaining 3 or 4 months will fly by, leaving me desperate again.

That dog is another demon rodent and insult. At least i can ignore it. It is so fucked up that it whines for no reason and ppl answer, but when i actually mayday…no one helps.
They care about a useless runt…but not an actual hero and genius.

Ambi and the others were heartless and insane.
Since they and god made no effort, there is no reason for me to.

Everything i did, including all the wonderful letters/emails i wrote, should have thrilled ppl and turned the hotties on.

How i hate the covidiot being here ever.
How i hate coming back to this last-resort and re-rental.

I wish i hadnt responded to the crepes job…but the bitches betrayed me again…so i need the $.
Fml.
No; fuck Their lives.

40 years of having to be polite and positive while being lied about, threatened, and left homeless by spoiled scum…
But i have finally let go, realizing they were not getting better. Most even got worse.
It now has me wondering if ambi and the others, having been cold and cruel all that time, will just as suddenly run out of steam for that, becoming as good and supportive to me as i now feel like taking time off.
They sure did cheat themselves out of good fucking and a loyal man; i have no more faith or interest in them.
They trainwrecked it all.

Some part of them wanted me to see them.
Some part of her wanted/wants to be w me.
But unfortunately a slightly greater part of her, at least greater back then, wanted to test and judge and hurt and exhaust me.
I wonder if she cares that she wasted 10 or more of her own years, not just mine.
What a damn fool.
What a damn coward.
I waited months and years each time for her, yet a minute or two and a hello was too much for Her.
Love sure hasnt been reciprocated yet.
Fucking hell.

If she worked as hard as me at the relationship she claimed she wanted, we would have been married and raising healthy children in that cabin years ago.

How can she not get that hiding, secrecy, and shittalk dont make ppl want her?
Why do i keep meeting retards?

I thought that spick was moody bc she wanted friends.
Now i see she just doesnt want to talk to Anyone.
She faces the corner and frowns all the time.
I actually went early to see and befriend her, hoping it would cheer us both up.
Today, i went extra late to avoid her, yet there her dumbass was again, facing the corner again like a creep in a horror movie.
What is the point in these bots being cunts like that?
I go to the gym to feel Better, not to be exposed to more asshole radiation.

Still can’t believe i offered and reciprocated attention, yet they acted like monsters.
Then i tried giving them space, minding my own business, and just hanging out with old friends, and they got mad about that, too!!
Always negative, apparently. A failed gender. A failed society. A failed species.
Shameful.

All any of them had to do was ask to see into my life, not spy,
and offer to let me see into theirs, not hide,
and say they are real, not leave me thinking it is just make believe,
and acknowledge when I am right,
and say when they are going to meet me,
and introduce themselves when they come,
and say what they want, just like I always did;
100% entirely normal universal behavior, nothing difficult or weird at all.
But they left me knowing nothing about them other than that they are decent looking in clothes… and that they are dishonest and spies and worse.
How insane must they be to think that means they deserve Any trust or kindness, let alone a relationship?

“Be mindful of self sabotage” is still just braindead default-gaslighting bs based on nothing. It is fear porn.
Nothing i ever did was self sabotage. I was my authentic self the entire time. I stood for nature, balance, truth, love, work ethic, community, etc.
Everyone else, on the other hand, being judgy, abusive, blameshifting, poorly presented, cowardly, condescending, uninformed, etc., was Definitely self sabotage of themselves.
Pathetic.
I deserve a Lot of credit for making it through all that/them.

Rd2/repeat of the crepe vikki-ish blobfail. Why?
I stayed fit. I asked for fit.
Why am i dealing w this again?
Shameful, god.
Why can’t god or humans get anything right?
Well…i can hopefully punish ambi and the others for this later.

Still on repeat, but at least the farmer market job ppl say they were here for a decade, their employee similar to rio ex gf saying 8 yrs.
All the signs are still uniform; rich and hotties ignoring me, most ppl retarded nonvegans, no leads, no help, no acknowledgment of my good manners and patience.
I am scared.
3 months and winter is back…and i have no one on my side.

30ish/hr and no tax…is btr than the fulltime job;
28/hr…after taxes was like 22/hr.
22×35×4=3080/mo but w constant lies and no gym time and barn hell.
Vs
~30/hr (w tips) x 4.5+5 x 4 = 1140. Obviously less than 3080, but i only work a half shift 2days/wk

Posting was 18/hr, got told 20, paid 25. Thank god.
Awful memory refresh of 2018 when i got the wad of cash and knew it would barely let me survive…
Here we go again.
I hate all the gods.
This is so unnecessary.

I guess the harsh reality is i will not be paid for my expertise or writing…
and the ones i asked for will never be kind to me…
so my bloodline ends, and i will die alone…
God damn this fucking world.

More nonvegan lies from the braindead tv-parrot roommate. What a disgrace.
Why do scumbags like them have homes…while i am still stuck n my car…and have been since 2000?

More meaningless words from the church groups. They never actually help. Such a waste.

At least i will die knowing i did all i could, and kept working on my holy vision and art.
At least i know i offered all my contact info and heart.
If only the others would, too.

God, i can’t wait to leave this awful place. The mountains’ beauty isnt shared w my loves, so i guess i gotta let go once again.
Fuck all the goddamn gods.
Fuck them straight to hell.
No man/faith/effort should be tested amd strained and disrespected like this.

“What i’ve learned is you need meat” …Then you havent learned anything. You are a fool, a liar, and an industry parrot. You fund rape and murder. You are evil. You are brainwashed. You are a disgrace.

At least that retard went to bed without blasting faggot tv propaganda tonight.
Fml.

Memory refresh: i told the same hopeful story to the farmer market job ppl in 2018; “someone has expressed interest in family, and I hope it works out so I can stay”…
Fuck.
That’s a sign i still want the same thing,
but also that the events of thst year are still re-happening.

How is it that a guy who lives n a van…pays ~twice what fuckboy steve did?

It is nice to have a job w no tax…or paperwork…
but i still can’t afford to stay here without ambi…

Why won’t god send me my woman, ambi?
Why won’t she tell me when she is coming?
Why wouldnt she introduce herself?
I fucking hate this and her now.
I deserve an answer/explanation.
I deserve an apology.
I deserve her promised/claimed loyalty.

Why did i get overflowing stuff for website and pc models…
and almost what i asked for w women…
but still not more than a trickle of money?
and why no antarctica?
Did i really have to finish the writing and pc modelong to make them calibrate?
And now that i Have done all that extra work, where Are they????

If it takes an emotion/energy surge to summon them, this shit rental and shit job sure r good at facilitating/triggering that.
The loop is good for that, too.
Goddamn this neg energy, though.
This is supPosed to be phase fucking Three now!

Since things repeated this past year’s worth of time, i am comforted by knowing i will soon no longer have to be around this lying roomtard tv-parrot.
And i guess n november i will be mempry refreshed about where i prob went when ambi left me hanging here in 2018.
Then maybe i can plug in a better estimate to my expeditions directory; for between which trips/relocations I was first here.

That asshole spick from the gym walked by the farmers market stand today. Why do i keep seeing her?
And brodin?
And the concert hotties?;
What is the point if all they do is act useless and snotty?
So lame.

Even someone Telling me their orientation, or giving me a negative look, is an attempted domination, thus evil.
I alone decide all things, including what orientations others have.
I decide what is natural and good.

as shitty as it is to -for this 2nd time- work a nonvegan job,
and see hotties walk by,
and be around fugtards,
it still shows me who is a bot,
who is a dumbass,
who to avoid (bc nonvegan),
etc.,
and it gives me plenty of cash,
and it pays me to go out and stand,
and pays me to be at the concerts –which otherwise leave a LOT to be desired (due to the drug fumes, fugtards, ice-princesses, etc.)
so…
phase2 rages on,
but at least i’m paid again, and have more credit, and am numb to this lingering evil, etc.

me coming back here wasn’t for me to learn or try something.
it wasn’t for me to see myself in 2018, though that happened for some reason.
me being here is THEIR 2nd chance, and so far… they are all still lying and failing miserably.
this valley/town/area desperately needs my influence/effect…

2:45pm Thursday 6 July 2023.
yet again, just like clockwork, I push through another wave of updates/ideas and emails-clearing, and the rain dumps/falls exactly when I finish.
interesting.

Happy day; just increased my bench by 2 sets of dumbbells : )

25/h x 10hrs x 4wks = 1k/mo : )
Rent is covered and then some.
Slightly more than breaking even = past the phase2 halfway point

While the market gig is a repeat, and depressing due to seeing the mess and poverty and brainwashing, it still shows me how much btr i have it.
Can i hang on this time?
Did i last time?; all the way to sept?
Will btr come along that way/span?

Was it Faith in the BASE gym today?
And Ixchel in lavender?
Nice thought, at least.
…
I vaguely remember asking if the boobsy darkgray outfit one, in 2018, needed a ride somewhere. Loopbreak: did not this time.
She should have asked me for one, anyway.

“Tolerate/love everyone” boils down to “promote the spread of cataclysmic chaos/incompatibility”.
Humans doing all manner of sexual and deviant things is no breakthrough or ascension, as it is the same as eating whatever they want regardless of who it harms.
Humans should only do what i want them do, just as they should not harm other beings for “food” that then harms Them.

Was gonna email ambi typist that long letter of pointing out her many fuckups… but i don’t wanna give that bitch 1 more second of my time/energy. Already gave her dumbass 10/+ years of it.

The looks of those gym cunts…and the fugs that showed up…are so offputting, bizarre, unfeminine…
What disgraces.
Whoever made such failures is a huge disgrace, too.
But i gotta face those signs; the rude failures show me not to bother interacting,
and the loops/repeats show me they havent learned/grown/improved…even though i have by leaps and bounds.

Was it a year or so since leaving here in 2018 that i saw her?
Was it sooner?; in Helena on the hill street?
Either way, if she won’t or can’t make an effort to contact me and be there when i need her, why care if i am here or not?

Since i continue being ignored/disrespected here by the cunts and extortionists, and left on my own by those i chose/uplifted, i keep polishing my site/spell further. I will make it the best it can be.

The vendor gig makes it easy to learn names…and for the hotties to talk to me…and for me to stand still while they show all sides…but what a revolting tradeoff. In 5 years, these fucks didnt veganize the vendors and learn manners? Really? Pathetic.

Deja vu memory refresh from “charades, strong as ox,” then i motioned to my own body.

Blue dress girl walked by again, face not that attractive.

2 blonde teens white midriff end night walked right by. Hot faces

I wonder why i got the multiple days and closer looks at angry spick and blue dress, but more days and closer looks at flawless-face hotties from concert 1…
Weird.

Note how the 2 i didnt want to be around…left early this time.
Calibration?
…
The vast majority of fugs and druggies were out of sight and smelling range; blocked by the other vendors.
…
The ones i liked…kept returning, hovering, etc.

Memory refresh: filling out the Big Sky Housing Trust website online forms to get on a waiting list for overpriced shitty bedrooms…
So much bad emotion on this memory : (
…
Why do humans do so much bad and value me so little?
Why are ambi and the others so cold and unhelpful?
Life has to be more than this.

Memory refresh. Asked at gym what the lights n the bball court were for, and was told 250$/seat fundraiser; another impossible/demotivator.

Memory refresh. Almost ambi sitting outside while foods eating. In 2018, i made like 3 passes n the jeep, then maybe asked it it was her.
This time, didnt think so…bc she never wore shades b4…and could be a bot like the coworkers.

I wept so hard when contact was restored… and rage-wept at the fact that it got restored within seconds/minutes… with the typist,
but not with the real woman.
Why am I being made to ebb and flow like a tide, not progress to phase 3?
Why do I get what I didn’t want most?
How will I not die alone in my trunk this winter?

“out to dinner with family” could mean “going to drink some blood”

I hate doing what could be like regressing; re-adding ppl i let go of…
but I got btr over the years; I used to be a patriot; brainwashed, so… so can/might they.
and since realAmbi hasn’t rogered up yet, or stopped being stubborn or whatever,
it makes sense to write some more with the typist.
the typist may still be brainwashed/stubborn, but as long as she keeps writing Ambi how she has…
Ambi the CHARACTER is fine…
and something i sorely missed and want.

the Navy probably chemically caused gayness so its sailors would fight harder for each other.
pathetic.

it really is amazing how stupid the roomtard is; so worried about her ONE animal, but not caring at ALL about the COUNTLESS animals she pays to have raped and murdered. babies. just like her pet.
sick retarded fuck.
nothing new; standard amerifail fuckwit.

I worried maybe the typist or real-her only wants to hurt others…
but… 99% of what we wrote, and 99% of the feelings/vibe I get from real-her, is pleasurable, good, etc. …
I suppose I could factor in the long times withOut/beFore real-her is in-person with me, but still.
I think she was just wisely/maturely waiting for me to wrap up my work so I can focus on Pleasure with her.
Amen to that.

deja vu / memory refresh / loop
monday 10 july 2023.
Ambi messaged me last time i was returning to the canyon from montana ale works, saying she would b helping her mom tomorrow.
Why does even That repeat?
Is she chatGPT?
…maybe vampires and gods use chatGPT to screen ppl so they dont have to.
At least Real versions of her characters exist, show up, and are even prettier than the online profile images.

“New Beginnings” in huge white bold letters back windshield sticker on white pickup truck n front of me

Wayne lamph joking “are stuck btwn dimensions? Serious question!” is phase1 evil; a problem, not a solution, and words instd of help, etc.
So why did he do phase3 help to steer me from the vax?

Asking about ambi eye colors may be a repeat, but adding it to my webpg is new.

Memory refresh. Friday7july2023. Gym closed for dinner party, blonde buzzcut guy outside complained w me about paying 300$, I said same thing I said in 2018; “everything is a million bucks around here”.

Memory refreshes:
Same chinese “new” worker at crepes.
Same me learning/googling chinese phrases to be kind.
…
2 blonde teens at outside Waypoint bar who left b4 i got the huckleberry frozen lemonade
…
What else?

The annoying big question remains: why do those i seek…never answer when i call, but at random, and always with issues/attitudes?
Phase2 sure is awful mixed/bittersweet.

Memory refresh. Just like last time, erin asked if i wanted to call, i walked from Waypoint to the parking lot, told her something, she got chills, said she can’t do the project…
Fuck.
At least i found out she is a chicken early before doing more work…
Ugh.
…
It isnt dopplegangers like she said, though; that was me from 2018, time warp/window style…

Memory refresh. Waypoint taylor swift karaoke and i flatable white cube photo booth near front door

New indiana jones movie is about the antikythera predicting fissures in time…
right after i encountered one lol; seeing me at the gym doors.
“There are no coincidences.”

Was the expensive dinner fake? Bots? A meeting about me? Exposing rich to me?

Is the roommate saying when to watch the dog…to keep me away from rearrangements elsewhere?

Did that indiana jones time travel movie come out a few years before…?
It gave me a little deja vu.
Wouldnt be difficult to have my google results claim it had a release date this year instead.
Maybe they always show it here in july lol.
Fucking “looptown”.

Why would ambi be scared of storms?
Was it a time fissure thing like in Indiana Jones 5 tonight?
Maybe it is when her emotions go too nuts for her to maintain control of the use of her True Brujah ability.
Maybe it is when she used her power too much.
Maybe she genuinely just wants me to comfort her, knowing love always works between us.
…
She didnt always mirror me, though; when i called out, she didnt.
When i struggled, she didnt.
When i was informed, she wasnt.
When i was loving, she sometimes tortured or threatened even her own…
She seemed to only mirror me at times online or in person as if to lock horns or make a point.
She mirrored my love for a decade, but then had that villain tantrum…
But i can keep trying to be kinder to her…and maybe it will finally work…

I definitely am grateful this year-long falling-out of ours happened beFore we had our 4 kids who need us to be together…

Do the moody lame rude hotties…cause my energy to surge…which causes lightning and time windows?
Maybe that frowning bitch at the gym acted like a superpower trigger…
…
The looped ppl are prob just vaxtards, memories altered same as the ssp ppl claim.

The selfcare helped me stay focused on wrapping up the huge years-long project, but i am thinking more and more since yesterday that now i should not resort to it anymore, as my vril being left to charge up and stay charged up may be what the hotties are most sensitive to and summoned back to me by.

Meeting that neighbor…holy hell. I was right to not meet anyone here. Jfc.
Such a shameful species…
My instincts and perception were spot on.

The weird guy laugh across the fence makes me miss realAmbi’s sweet heavenly bell of a voice.

Memory refresh / deja vu. A kind prayer request reply…
and Ambi (typist?) and I on good terms and RPing again…
Thank the fucking gods.

I didnt want to reconnect w Any of these ppl… or re-experience Any of these states… but instd of a loop, i can see it as the sign i don’t have to keep giving up 1 thing to get another; past things can stay, ppl can build up, old friends can get btr.
Age of (good) Reunions and all…

I needed all that time, and those horrible lonely spans, to get all that done…so quickly.
If she had come and stayed when i first called out to her, as much as i hate to admit it, it would have slowed or even prevented all those ideas and work.
Now, however, i don’t ever want my ideas or work to preVent or Slow Her.
I want her with me every day and night forever.
We shall be.
Now.
Here.
Amen.

Boobsy hottie did not habe the thighgap i prefer, but she is still easily a 9 due to her height and all. Well, an 8 bc of her cold personality so far, but whatever. Body is a 9, at least when dressed for the gym.

Interesting that something stopped eli from rejoining my Discord server, but let ambi right in.
That is a big improvement.
I can still link him to the mc world. That is all that is needed.

No amoint of me searching ever produced the results I wanted; they seemed to come at random…when I Wasn’t searching.
So I stop going out and hoping and praying.
I still want…and dream…and hope…but I don’t cry out much anymore.
I try to be at peace with the good that has come from this forced isolation and loneliness…which makes me bored enough to keep creating, revising, etc. …until my spell summons/attracts the best, as it has been my best effort, thus it shall naturally usher to me the best I seek.
In other words, now can still be the time of writing and wrapping up.
I have seen my dreamgirls are real, so I can hold on a little longer.

When Ambi’s eyes are pure silver = she’s straight horny
Tricolored = she’s happy
Straight jade = she’s in a indifferent mood
Straight lilac = she’s annoyed
Dark jade and silver = she’s pissed
Dark straight up all three = she’s angry

Memory refresh. Lame carrots and fish and tots order at mt ale works, incl seeing the almost hot tan blonde waitress, and the black haired frumpy piercings nosering hostess, and then sitting n jeep outside sad bc waiting on reply texts discord from ambi typist. Same as today, only now i already know how this plays out; me homeless again.
Although i Was shown my dreamgirl at least 2 new times btwn then and now.

52 years old? could be a lie. or 52 years since she was ‘turned’. or something else.
she Has lied beFore.
and if she really is still being told “exceptionally bangable”, and somehow knows it won’t be the last time she heard that, then she doesn’t look 52 AT ALL, which means she isn’t human.
but it doesn’t matter since she won’t open up and reciprocate all I have offered/done.
it’s just one of those claims / mysteries / possible lies.
whatever.
at least the writing is still good.
phase goddamn 2.

“helping my mom tomorrow” from her could have meant “bringing humans for her to drink blood from” lol
or strap-on fucking her / back and forth

“will come to [fruition] within the year…”
uh… ok… hopefully not like the Last 3x.
and hopefully within the next 2months like it Has to (otherwise I’m homeless again).
…
that typist was right about most things.
just wrong about politics/pharma…
so 99% right/compatible even in phase2… is a good sign.
her getting way better (more compatible w me) during the time I knew her… is also a really good sign.
so maybe/hopefully/surely real-Ambi will be, or already is, 100% compatible with me by now, if not already/before.

the religtard typist… ensured I was spurred to write the spell that keeps Ambi aware of all scams of pharma and politicians, etc.; it worked out in a way.
What annoyed and angered me… lead to me stabilizing my dream-family/people that much more.

Typist suggesting i not wait but get on w my life…after saying it will all come to fruition this year? : (
I deserve specifics and calls and texts and meetings from realAmbi and all the others.
What the hell.
Why am i such a low priority for them rn?
When will they invite me to these concerts and other events?
I want my life to be with Them.
I was Trying to get on w my life by Waiting for them.

I hate doing these scoiting drives and walks, only ever finding the hotties…are not hot up close.
Where is the motivation and purity in this world?
Surely it will happen now that i am focused on it…

Loopbeak. This time, i did not google “Caamp band” to hear it.

Repeat of walking to the Caamp concert fence, seeing midriff bronze teen was not as face hot as it seemed, stopping after seeing tight midriff teen n bluejeans hugging others, walking away same direction as their group, she stopped w beefy/fat guy on dirt field b4 playground, i saw her face lacked too. Both chicks had face issues and ear rings.
Why did even that loop? They couldnt even calibrate not wearing piercings?

Repeat of seeing insane rates and taxes/fees for Hill Condos and others?

I think last time i got a ticket…and went in…and tried the food…and it all sucked lol.
Loopbreak this time by not going in?

Glad i didnt pay for this concert this time; singing about liquor and drugs…
and fugs here…
and I remember going to the white tents for food last time…and finding only crap. I tried something in there and it was disgusting.
And no one talked to me.
Skipped this time…

I am not wrong to keep going out and trying to mingle…
but the signs were neg about it n 2018…and are identical now; these ppl r not for me, maybe not even ppl at all.
Fugs r Always a sure sign to Not engage yet. So r cold looks.
It is fine to try the food and music, and to have balance, and not burn out at the pc.
It is normal to feel sad and lonely rn.
It is exemplary what i am doing.
It is honorable and noble how i am reviewing my actions and seeking guidance.
Just stop seeking what isnt here yet; love. My ppl.
The writing is working…so do some more of it. Maybe it really is empowering her to return.

It wasnt staying put b4 that got her showing up; it was being in the middle of relocating…
Do i try/risk that again?
I may have no choice…
But maybe she will become able and willing to meet me reGardless of whether i am holding ground or trying new.

I rmbr her eyes in Oregon were like that White Owl girl’s; jade, lilac, and silver at the same time, aglow almost, with a beautiful superhuman sheen, magical.
Her typist said that means she was happy.
I am glad she was happy to be walking to me…
I am glad I looked at her eyes.
I am glad I saw it was her.
I am glad I felt it was her.

Went to get a F’real and it was out of order. Tried the floor cooler for a dif icecream bar and it was empty. Lol smh.
Signs?
Sure. Why not.
So similar to how i go out to mingle…but find not what i am hungry for.
Not yet.

Waking up to crybaby screaming whining louder than before…bc the latest idiot female refuses to train her rodent…and put it right next to my door…and cares about a nonvegan monster but not the countless innocent vegan animal lives she pays to have raped and murdered.
What is with the females of this sorry failed world?
Only an old one RPs w me…and claims to be hit on but won’t prove it…and is a lazy religtard, prioritizing evil others over good me.
Their kind claims to care about others, but it is only bad others, not good others.
And telling me to love myself? And be patient? Already did both. For decades.
Smh.
How can i help ambi and sabrina and the others, and Why should i help them or love them…when they refuse to introduce themselves, refuse to give me contact info, refuse to help Me in any way…?
I have endured abuse after abuse, and resorted ro goddamn rp w goddamn religtards…bc Those women chose to abandon me…after not letting me know they r real. They dangled themselves n front of me, judged my manners, and heartlessly left me…over and over.
And bc of that evil, i am here again…w nothing to do…and no way to stay.
Did they need more time to manifest?
Did they need my writing to come into being?
Maybe.
But how can i know…when they don’t tell me?

The religtard typist was deadwrong about pharma and polit and relig…and going to indiana…and staying put…
so it may be just as wrong about patience and being a messenger or seer… and whatever else.
I only write w it…bc there is nothing else to do rn.

At least my work is done. And i have a bigger vehic to sleep in. And i no longer chase the worthless gender/ppl.
And i didnt bother paying for a Caamp ticket like i did in 2018.
I feel like i climbed to the top of a mntn…that my dreamgirls did not join me on to celebrate…
I climbed it without them.
Even though i can’t fully hate them, as i don’t know if they r struggling to get bk to me, too, i definitely can and should and do partially hate them for how rude and stupid and selfhindering they were in person…

How can i want them after what they did in person?
I dont want their stupidity or behavior so far.
I want their looks and voices and them when they TREAT ME RIGHT.

I wish phase2 hadnt taken this long.
The mixed encounters remain so offputting.

Jobhunting is such phase1 bullshit.
Ppl should be trying to get Me to work for them. THEY should be asking Me what My requirements are.
I deserve so much btr than the women and offers i’ve been given.
The gods should be ashamed of themselves.

The problem was never me not being patient or loving myself.
The problem has Always been Them; They didnt love me, They werent patient w me, They didnt talk, They didnt say it was them, They didnt help me.
It was Always them.
I have been patient and loving for Decades.
They have been heartless and secretive and cowardly and maybe even sexist.
Certainly blameshifting.
Typical xiantards; nothing is ever good enough for them, they demonize the wrong ppl, they only care about bad/fake things, and they are all-talk, never actually helping anyone.
Ambi and Sabrina and all the Rest are who need to love me. They need to love me enough to say who they are, and how i can find them. They need to love me enough to let me into our cabin.
They need to love me enough to get me away from these goddamn covidiots and xiantards.

Memory refresh deja vu on the ennis rental post…
Did i use it last time?
Did i decline bc it was an hour away?
It is 2-3x more affordable than this awful bigsky rental…
Until ambi meets me and lets me in our cabin, i have to use the ennis offer…

The problem has never been me.
I loved myself. I was patient and devoted.
The problem has Always been Them; the problem is their refusal/failure to communicate and help.
They have not done their part.
Yeah, the tradeoff/flipside is that it got my idea and work wrapped up sooner…but even that is debatable; factor in all the setbacks and trauma I had to make it through –bc ambi and the others refused to help or even talk or even reveal they are real.

It is so supremely fucked up and evil and backward that this useless whining screaming nigger rodent gets to stay here, but not me.
and the bots.
and the troll-piercings fugtards.
…
then again, they are staying down in the peasant village/town, not where i want to be, so… whatever.

–
Every time she showed up, except after my mexico screaming, was when i wasnt thinking about her…
So maybe that is the key; let go again.
Still, that is backward; she should be there whether i am thinking about her or not.
She should be present and daily and loyal to me.
I deserve that.

The typist is a fool about some things, but at least writes some other things correctly.
The alternative rn is nothing at all; total boredom and severe emotion.
Use the asset / stepping stone. Again.
When ambi returns, and she always returns, Then you can ease back from the mixed-bag typist/s.

Apparently i get months of whomever i talk to…so i Have to talk to the rich hotties.
THEY should talk to Me…but this is still phase fucking2.

Given an extra day of pay…and now paid to go to boze.
I hope things keep working like this without me even having to ask.
Will i really stay here this time?

–
wed12july2023
another rainbow today; at end of farmer’s market
…
thu13july2023
another hot air balloon this morning; 7:20ish AM.
…
but neither mean a thing, since i’ve been here before, and AM having to go through this again,
and my baby -Ambi- isn’t here yet with me.

The latest robot retard verbal diarrhea; saying no sunglasses, so i am more approachable, when None of their disgusting nonvegan asses do Anything approachable.

I was right to not take the bait for those hotfaces at concert1; facepaint, piercings, fugs n their group, no manners, not doing what i asked? They were not what i wanted or deserve. They were idiots, gross, and disrespectful.

I really do have to keep the door closed here to prevent the retard of the retard from letting itself in.
Never asked for a goddamn rodent on this shitty bed.

One more sad dip coming up? No way to stay here soon, and no point; only rude useless fugs so far.
And the worst neighbors.
Jfc.
The gods should be ashamed of themselves. Their ppl r the worst ever.

Slight deja vu on showing the mahafsoun pic to typist… Did i choose and send the same one 5ish yrs ago?

Fruition and hope seems so unlikely rn, during this no-messages period.

Half a month until more homelessness : (
Fuck this town.

Even though so much is overpriced and wrong here, and repeated from 2018, ot is still scouting, learning, finding what to conquer, what to end, what to try when rich, etc.

My novels are not yet written/edited; it is easy to leave out copyrighted names.

I never asked for an editor, and certainly not another rio-exgf fugtard. These humanimals and god sure keep failing extra hard/retardedly.
My books don’t need anyone but me.

Why aren’t ppl googling me, loving my way, asking to book me, donating to me?
I should Never have to keep doing these bs temp jobs…
I should Never have to pretend to be something i am not.
I should get to annihilate those who r not my way.

I don’t need to learn to be alone better. SHE needs to learn to be WITH me.
I don’t need to learn to love myself. SHE needs to; SHE needs to be present and loving to me.

will “fruition within the year” end up being BS/untrue just like “she is coming soon” turned out to be?
:/

keeping an eye on the dog does help prevent me from cruising around hoping to see good ppl… which aren’t here or anywhere yet, for some reason.

“fuck every god” technically includes Her… but yeah; fuck her, too, until she shows up and stops being so absent/cold/unfair.

the typist’s words about me having met dark Ambi first… so I could see if I could handle her… did ring/vibe true;
that was definitely not Light Ambi or Whole Ambi; Light Ambi would have been loving to me and in contact the whole time, and Whole Ambi would have been in contact the whole time + wildly sexual, satisfying both my need for love and orgies.
only dark Ambi would do nothing at all other than dangle herself in my path once a year when I was already down, showing up only when I gave UP on thinking about her.
and note when that v/side of Ambi/her got closest and let me hear her voice; not when I deserved and needed it, but as if attracted to my surge of darkness/hate; she was attracted to the negativity surge… so maybe not my mexico expedition bravery.
anyway, it’s done with… and i’m now writing whole-Ambi with the typist…
and the typist isn’t being a rude lying sack of shit cunt to be anymore. she switched from gaslighting and blaming and insulting me… to saying I did nothing wrong; total reversal… back to truth.
so that means Whole Ambi is coming next.
maybe I skipped Light Ambi… or Light Ambi was just the love, not the touch/wholeness/holistics/balance, thus the RP.
and then Dark Ambi was that in-person asshole.
(and I did handle her well; I didn’t cave OR get mad at her.)
so now Whole Ambi is next.
surely.
Amen.

and that typist claiming for the 2nd time she had a dream about Ambi being in the mountains looking for a man and unable to ask for help?
could be BS, or another xiantard misinterpretation.
either way, it isn’t what I want to hear or deserve.
and real/Whole Ambi needs to stop looking and just come meet me.
she needs to ask Me for help, and Offer me help.
she needs to show me her location, just as I kept showing her mine.

How do I KNOW I handled darkAmbi? Because that was the 10 years of RP-only, and rude-meetings, and I’m still in love with WholeAmbi, writing with even her typist/channeler.
If I HADN’T handled her, I either would have caved to her bait/test bs, or let her typist shame me, or let Her VIA her typist shame me, or hated her and kept her dumped, not reconnecting this year.

did july aurora happen this time? nope; another repeat of 2018.

Matt tard not letting me in 364…kinda works in a shitty phase2 way; it keeps me from starting to feel lonely in that house which should always be occupied by me And wholeAmbi.

Not touching the computer all day…is a welcome new/strangeness.
Makes me think of “on 7th day, god rested”.

Them not being in contact…dramatically accelerated the wrap up.
So maybe me not being allowed to contact and live w Them just yet…is allowing Them to finalize their own big project/s (which might be ensuring they study My posts and be/become those things for Me).

It was good to hear that that idiot jon is gone, and that he doesnt much speak to sara tard anymore.
Progress.

Finally nondepressing music in the grocery store. Top Gun ost “take my breath away” in Roxy.
Nice.
Finally a Good psyop.

Found ALL my favorite vegan nuggets and ice cream at the store here! At last! Local healthy!

Made myself a MINDBLOWINGLY delicious and healthy milkshake. Glad i was denied the F’real.
Phase2 becoming 3.

I have no reason to worry if the typist has, as she claims, not had contact w ambi or the others via dreams in years;
for one, I Have had contact more recently –in dream And in person,
and, two, the typist, I Can tell/sense, IS channeling them sometimes, which makes contact almost daily.
They like contact w me.
We are alReady family. We are just making final calibrations to/for each other beCause we are serious enough to be family.
Rmbr that realAmbi said she already thinks of me as her husband.
It doesnt get more family than that. Well, other than her letting me move in w her in 364andesite, ofc.
It will come.
Amen.

For Unlawful/Universe Carnal Knowledge. Abbreviation of/as FUCK

You don’t just change sex energy into spiritual; it is just as advanced, natural, and good to change spiritual/vision energy into sexual. Amen.

Repeat ish of the convo where ambi typist gave tips on how to break ice and not scare her away.
Last time, i cried so hard and prayed.
Then a year went by before she showed up.
This time? Already know how it will be/repeat. Numb to her bs/absenteeism now. Not crying at all.
Just annoyed and turned off and pissed.
Furious that my only friens is that typist still hiding in indiana.
Fuck life.
Fuck their excuses for not being present a nd helping me.

Repeat of asking jr what hello was,
him saying salaam,
me later asking if salom meant peace,
he saying yes.
Same convo as 2018.
Fucking weird…

Seeing the girls i thought were hotties…up close…shows me how trashy they are.
Poorly made bots…
Disappointing.
Thus i am right to use them as formsakes.

I am doing the right thing/s;
using my gifts,
waiting for the good women I chose,
declaring my intentions,
gym,
healthy food,
selfcare,
getting to know locals,
etc.
and it is a great sign my memory is so good and long.

Ice cream / milkshake b4 bed, and ofc i had bad dreams of dealing w truckers and feds lol.

And ofc the faggot makes it even worse by walking around outside blowing drug smoke clouds.
The moment i try to go out and enjoy the morning.
Fucking pathetic, god.
Fucking pathetic of you.

Ennis is exact same time to whole foods, and 10x cheaper; moving to ennis now. Whatever.

Finally prone to wank on bed. Feels so good. So great at droppong stress. I guess it is what works for now.
Phase goddamn 2.

Hopefully ambi is venting and stressed like i am, and wanting me back just like i want her back, and someone keeps telling Her next time she sees me to talk to Me.
Bc that is what she needs; to stop hiding and start talking to me.
She needs to be fair and have manners and logic.

Did i put the same 2 mahafsoun ambi pics on my prev phone in 2018?
Even if i did, so? They are beautiful and make me smile.
They are a positive focus.
They are what i naturally return to and love.

Searching never worked.
Staying put didnt either.
It was when i was transitioning, moving, relocating… that she kept appearing.
Maybe she loses sight of me when i stop?
Maybe the typist was backward/wrong about That…just as she was wrong about politics and pharma?

Some ppl were repeating what they said in 2018.
But all that shows me is how much i grew and built. I am far ahead of those “ppl” now.

The typist and doc2 defaulting to thinking iii am the problem…shows how onesided and brainwashed and sexist and dumb and dishonest they are.
Why didnt they at least Also say She should have talked to Me?
Even btr, if they were Good beings, they would have not blamed Either of us.
Best of all, if they were fully intelligent, they would have known how to get ambi in contact w me…or i wouldnt even be resorting to chatting w them at all.
But it certainly worked to get all my ideas finally written, organized, published, revised, perfected, etc.
So was it a blessing, all their stupid refusal to talk to me?
Kinda.

I go outside, and the fresh mntn air always cheers me up, as do the mntns and trees and clear skies here.
But then i remember i will have to leave again…soon…and be homeless even sooner…again.
The humans have always ruined these wonderful places…
They really must be beaten and cataclysmed back into submission.

Why is it that i wanted the hotties to talk and return…but only thousands of fugs showed up and returned, and only fugs have talked so far?
Why do the signs in every realm so far…all say and show that humans are evil scum, and friends are not available yet?

The humans were supposed to have Easily understood my Perfect idea…so perfectly explained, …but they have been a problem full of evil…and i have been the only one to help me.

Napping without roomtard noises is so wonderful.
But i want Good noises from my Dreamfamily as my roommates; i should not still be dealing w phase1 losers.

Got offered pay …which stopped me from going to the lame vegan event n boze.
Interesting.
Paid nonvegan bs, or ugly vegans? Phasefucking2 with its only-gross choices.
:/

The website took many visits to get right, and now it is.
My diet needed many reviews and revisions.
Letting go of, and then re-meeting eli and others worked similarly.
Each time ambi came back, she got closer and sweeter sounding and more alone…minus kind of the last time. Idk.
But anyway my point and observation is that each of those things didnt start perfect, and got better slowly, but turned out great/perfect.
And i always benefit from intervals of rest/laziness/recovery/recharge.
I dont need to jump straight into the next.
I dont need easy overlap.
I want those things, but i keeo getting intervals of uncertainty and rest.

If ambi is the one for me, she, like eli, won’t hate me, and will resume contact…
She will do whatever it takes to get back to me.

Leaving bigsky again isnt abandoning my dream or foothold; it is leaving this full scouted and re-scouted waypoint. It is leaving this failed community. It is trying again. It is regrouping.
I never wanted to be here, anyway; i want to be in 364andesite, and this is the closest i could wait for that.

Having reoriented to everything here, finding only a handful of appropriate things in the stores, and zero good ppl, i have no way or reason to stay any longer.
Ambi chose not to be fair or open or timely or loving.
And resorting to the typist again?
And dealing w the annoying needy nonvegan rodent here?
And the cunty covidiot peasant roomtard liar?
And the hideous nonvegan jobtards?
And the looped cunt “ppl”?
All signs are now telling me to leave again.
At least i made my site look perfect while here…
I just dont understand why, having finished my work and been so polite and patient, i am not yet being contacted and met by the ppl i have always Wanted to meet.

There’s really no reason to help the nonvegan rodent i didnt ask for and am not being compensated for. 900 is not a discount. 900 is paying for more than this entire aptmt is worth, but i only get half of it.
300 would be the discount.
450 for half.
…
Also, bc no one answers My pleas, so why am i answering Theirs?

The cunt roomtard reminds me how its lowly brainless kind always jumps to neg conclusions without evidence; cunt tone reveaking some faggot neighbortard lied about me, pretending/assuming i was ignoring the dog, even though i kept an eye on it, and have gone above and beyons babysitting it.
Smh.
Same root of the roomtard thinking covid is real.
And thinking protein is only in meat.
Etc.

Idiot dog reminds me how ambi chose not to communicate or be fair to me.
Idiot dog reminds me how emotional and needy and annoying and brainless and selfish bitches have been.
Idiot dog reminds me how skittish they all have been, even when all i did was walk by or look.

Maybe i am supPosed to have this time to vent and make these notes.
Maybe it isnt a neg feedback loop at all, but finally balancing myself by venting my core after so many years being too busy too.

More perfect healthy vegan milkshakes. Summer is the time for that kind of drink.

No a/c in this overpriced faggotinfested shithole. Maybe having to leave for a week or 2 this summer will keep me Cooler…

Tried going to the gym. More evil bullshit; no bitches behaving, but instd gone and replaced by faggots.
God sure does fail for decades n a row.
Why aren’t my gym times and scouting rewarded?

The fact of the matter is that everywhere i scouted was a disaster, failure, and turnoff. Everyone was rude and insane and deformed (even if just by height).
I can’t feel attraction to them.
Even their best porn and art is full of obvious errors/wrongs.

Is the time homeless and in my car and away from ppl and wronged/offended by nonppl all necessary to finish letting go/free the wave of updates so they manifest?
Is that how it works?
Is that how I get charged up so I can cause it to manifest instd of adding more to what cannot manifest while i am housed and adding?
Idk, but it is a neat thought.

Waking up to whining is super gay/annoying…
but this world gets what it gives;
it ignored my years of warranted pleas/maydays/requests, so all similar calls/sounds get ignored.
The longer god ignores Me and sends Me not what i asked for, the longer i ignore all these unworthy beings.
…
Thankfully the whining and bitching and unwanted evil is now far milder than in phase1; back then, it caused Tons of problems, and was unaVoidable. Now, i can pretty much disregard it All. Even repo evil.
Even taxes evil.
But bottom line is all beings should be sending polite requests to donate to me as often as they have been rude and annoying. The tide must shift that way. Period.
I am the lord.

The typist doesnt tell the truth like she claims. She tells what she Thinks is the truth.
I am the one who has always told and tells the truth.

Odd how erin janus was silent for months and months, then chatty, then silent months, then wanted a call, then said she can’t do the project, then texted she will do it afterall; will interview me “soon” after Billie does.
Fucking earth bitches. Fickle as hell.

The worst mixed signal ambi has given wasnt showing up and just standing there, letting me wonder if it was really her.
The worst mixed signal was her showing up after hiding for years; does she want to hide or be in my life?
She needs to make up her mind.

I walk the dog multiple times a day.
Let it stay outside for hours a day.
Give it positive reinforcement when it does its business out there, and neg when it goes n the rooms.
And it still shits on my rug.
Same as ambi; years of consistent pos and neg reinforcement, always me there, me always helping and offering, yet she keeps fucking up encounters, not talking or introducing herself or giving me contact info or reciprocating help in any way.
Why??
These goddamn earth tards.
I see why they say god cataclysmed them.

If ambi was telepathic, why didnt she hear my thoughts of “wow, she looks like real ambi. How beautiful. oh, she must be on a date. I don’t want to bother them.”
Why didnt she say, “thank you for your manners, but i am here for you.”?
And
if she Wasnt telepathic, why didnt she ask me what i was thinking?
…
Why didnt she let me know she was coming?
Why didnt she stop me when i was walking off?
Why didnt she help beFore i got worn out?
Why didnt she spare me from the typist?
…
So far, i can come up with no explanation…for her awful behavior…
…
But i have made my choice; i will only carry on my bloodline with her when she starts communicating with me and treating me right.
…
At least i know she shows up once a year…and was keeping track of my exact location; at least she cared enough to keep an eye on me.
…
After how she and her typist treated me, i no longer care at all how my abs look; nothing is as bad as how she treated me.

The number of severely mentally ill humans i have to block every day…should instd be the number of handsome donations i am given.
These are still signs.
This shows how many phase1 beasts/primitives still remain…
Why is it like this after i held the right vision for so long?
Why, when i rejected rudeness, did they stay just as rude?
Why, when i tried to work w them, did they stay rude, not trying to work w Me?
So strange…

Still w an ugly dumb bitch?
Still dogsitting like w jls?
Sure, but also still defeating spoiled cunts,
and still exploring,
and still napping,
and all my work completed in spite of their kind.
Any remaining or repeating bullshit is their problem and god’s, not mine.
I was forced to resort to them.
I never Once Chose them.

Maybe i was supposed to see and re-see how fucked up the usa is…and this town…and even ambi.
But why?
Why not show me the good ones?

I suppose it makes sense for me to be re-subjected to the 2 things that bother me; dumb cocky humanimals who ask more than they deserve for every little thing (food, rent, etc.)… and being alone.
I always did end up going through the toughest training.
Childhood.
Spleen.
Boot in Summer.
SOI in Winter.
Longest vision/project.
Poisoning.
Homelessness.
Corrupt credit system I can’t get righted.
Exodus blocked.
Mindless heartless pure-evil peasants.
Etc.
So why not the toughest woman to start a family with?
It follows the pattern.

Even if there was a point in finishing the novels and sharing them w the humans, i can’t; my left eye won’t have it.
It is my sign to stop…for now.
Besides, Carol Danvers and the inisfreeans were always, i sensed, destined to write it With/For me.
Amen.

I was never ruled by venus. The horoscope is wrong. If i was ruled by venus, i would have caved to ambi and all the other hotties. I resisted them all. I overcame even myself.
Clearly, i am governed by me, and honor, and inisfree; the kingdom of heaven on earth.

Skipping the rodeo tonight was right; cannot support the abuse they put those animals through

The typist is not ambi, thus ambi showed up.
I am Auz, thus I showed up.
Amen.

I walk the idiot 3-4x a day, and let it out a dozen or more times a day, and it still shits in My room on My rug.
I never interrupt its sleep, and it Still whines the Entire Night, forcing me to move it back to its room.
I lose a full night’s sleep and gym day bc of it.
It evem stares and breathes hard at me anytime i am taking a break from fixing all its messes, making it impossible for me to relax and watch a Single show.
It parks and stares around the corner of the bed at me, forcing me to leave my door closed and it crated.
This shows how lazy and spoiled its owner is; its owner didnt train it At All.
It shits n the street, on sidewalks, in the kitchen, in the rooms…
Unbelievable how evil and stupid this roomtard and its nigger rodent are.
Rent should be Free for having to deal w all this bs.

Anyone asking for Any money for Anything is wrong and weird.
Do not let “deployment goggles” or brainwashing/repetition trick you into thinking it is “how the world works”.
Anyone refusing you entry to Anywhere is an enemy.
Doesn’t matter if the byproduct is that you get a little more work wrapped up; they are always wrong to refuse you.

another idiot; claims he understood not to kill at age 12-14,
yet funds and offers CONSTANT murder and rape “food”.
and didn’t Ever understand not to fuck fat blob monsters.

I knew I was right not to engage further with the tan shorty in Waypoint; fucked up tits; poorly-made NPC/bot/worker.
a pretend-hot
hot only under clothing

zero deja-vu / repeat regarding the introduction of Ashtanna, Adrianna, etc.,
and Angelike now being Ashton’s twin sister.
<3

the typist claims, in RP/otherwise, that I am importnat, and fought over by the sexiest and most powerful women… for centuries…
but I am still dealing with a shitty rental;
until the show up again, and tell me it is true, and support me, and serve me,
it is just talk…
and I worry it is to string me along a few months longer.
:/
but great RP tonight.
Ambi keeps being written better.
and I finally got to vision/spellcast-fuck Arwen 🙂
and almost Angelique the priestess!

Barb/babs being a religtard is prob what makes her so receptive to dream messages etc.; maybe that type of human was bred/trained to be all-receive for that very purpose.

The dog bs definitely stops me from selfcare…and spamming/textwalling the typist.

Note the signs. They are all still there. Rude half hots. Bitches who look good from afar but are hideous up close. Hots who show up once and never return. Scum who are very happy to greet hideous freaks and demons but refuse to even acKnowledge Me.
No reason to be here. Not until i can angelic purge all those intruders.

pretty sure that was email Matt and Amanda… at the Waypoint… twice now; in 2018, and now 2023. Did we happen to cross paths? Did they stage that “by chance” encounter?
and why stop responding to my emails after meeting me this time…?

Deja vu / memory refresh fb msg link to youtube guy claiming time traveler, taking lie detector test, talk of augmented reality contact lenses, etc.
Lol this fucking loop/repeat…
Smh.
Laaaaame.
Not only is it pointless smalltalk/bs, it is a 2nd rd of it!
It shouldnt have existed this lamely in the 1st place, let alone repeated!
It should also at Least have gotten useful and sexy!

Erin resending that timetraveler vid…where he says “yes, I will be born later this year”; 2019…helps me better pinpoint when i was last here; if i saw that vid b4, it made n 2019, i was here in 2019, not 2018. That fits, as i started lowe’s trng in dec…then nursery and mex in 2020.

Telling erin she may have angel blood…seems familiar. Deja vu? Repeat of a 2019 texts convo?
Since i know iii am not on a loop, it must just be one of those things it is right to do more than once, like the sun rising.
From that, maybe She is not looped, not ambi typist; maybe they, too, just again felt it was right to send me the nice things they did.
Amen

Erin may have unknowingly answered a Couple of my questions/prayers, but Ambi Knowingly answered Countless of mine, even in person for me…multiple times. She is an Arch Angel or Goddess for real.
Then again, to be fair, Erin heard and answered countless prayers of others; the nonhumans. Demigoddess, her?

did she offer the escort and virgin sister combo back in 2019 when I was here?
maybe.
slight deja vu on it.
did she also, back then, say she was surprised, and want me to take the virgin instead?
also maybe.
not quite sure on this part of the repeats.
whatever.

Once again, I’m nice and attentive and consistent to the nigger rodent all day long,
I take it on a long walk this morning,
it ignores all training and waits to shit on the parking lot.
Complete failure. Complete idiot. Complete rudeness. Just like its covidiot deformed owner.
[shaking my fucking head]
no more long walks, then.
no more training.
it shits during short walks on grass, or it deals with more punishment.
I guess earth-beasts really do require negative reinforcement, not positive.

Neat that in 2019 when i was last here, amanda squire and matt walker were the ones seemingly spying on Me at Waypoint, but this time, 2023, iii was the one figuring Them out; they are looped/nonpeople.
How very interesting.
Perhaps useful, too; makes me not envy or seek them, for one.
Plus, i was able to confirm her w fb…and that she is deformed, not a true hottie.

The typist conditioning me for nonsex afterwork reunions after my wife plays w others?…or always lovingly messaging and interacting w me even when she is exhausted or cannot be phys present?
Both?
The phase2 meh mix.
But still much btr than phase1.
And phase3 will b much btr than now.
…
Bullshit the real women arent w me yet…but i guess that comes next.

finally uploading vore hentai to my site lol
and sex-spells for my daughters to learn and love it.
zero deja vu 🙂

mon17july2023
“I will wait, I will wait for you” song psyop at dental office

…

good sign:
shift back to the good and true about me:
“No defiling the priestess” neg…has become the correct “see who gets the honor”.

“Follow your instincts home.” st sign billboard
ugh… been TRYIN to.

Another deja vu memory refresh: tue18july2023 farmers market; i remember parking the jeep here in 2019…and was so sad and stressed.
Same this time : (
When will things work with me and realAmbi?
I have had my waves of trng, and waves of travel, and waves of ideas, and waves of pc work…so i need waves of Ambi and $ now.
Ambi and the riches I seek now are mine.
And more $ and babes come to me now and always. Amen.

Memory refresh deja vu.
tue18jul2023 farmer’s market at Lindley Park, Bozeman:
Repeat of only 1 hottie; black shorts and strappy top, dark brunette, face model, medium natural tan, eyeliner, witch vibe, buying from kids stand beside ours.
Then repeat of story about Destroyer commander who had 100% retention of sailors reenlisting.
Then repeat of red shirt guy telling Moses he had a shoulder injury.

Boot camp took twice as long.
And college.
And now my dreamfam; most have theirs at 20. I am 40.
So it follows the pattern, at least; things took longer for me.

Better that i had the loss and loneliness first, rather than later; as a divorce.
So what is coming now will be good.

Realizing the Square needs toilets blds…
and
the AF1 shall fly weekly, not just annually…
and
to update my Schedule webpage with AF1 portal-flights
…is zero deja vu,
and makes me glad for these final solo quiet days.

roomtard.
Back for just seconds and already lying to me again. Typical retarded Hew-like bitch. Claiming ennis is nice. Trying to seduce me w its “lots of land”. Trying to say bigsky is “changing in weird way”.
Actually thinking it is fooling me.
Then clearing its druggie throat annoyingly.
Then loudly making its coffee poison.
Just another constant failure.
Nothing new.
God’s latest complete failure and idiot cunt.
Completely irrelevant; i never tried to settle here, and its weirdness isnt a new change, but a lingering issue from years ago.
…
didn’t quantify “weird”,
didn’t provide evidence of any changes/changing,
already a proven and shameless liar (about what protein is),
already proven unhealthy and self-poisoning,
already a self-revealed/exposed pharma-parrot NPC,
already funding countless rapes and murders,
keeps corpse chunks in her fridge with the FOOD,
etc.; disregard all; all she says is a lie and scam.
standard idiotic demon failing as hard as ever / can be.

vendor gig losers.
The fatfucker loserguy trying to dominate by giving advice,
and simult being toxicpositivity And neg to my holy way; by trying to say we should b happy w the evil that exists / “what we’ve got”, and pretending “the universe” did it, and pretending he knows how the entire universe works…wow.
And regurgitating / liking jew propaganda, calling it philosophy, reading it like a parrot to his spawns.
So disgusting.
Standard hypersubmissive failure parrot NPC demonic bs.
just like the pharma-parrots, they really do just gravitate to and cheerleader for all the most mindless and blatantly-wrong evil.
smh.
typical amerifails.
typical earth-humans.

And the typist saying “morning” instd of realAmbi saying it to me n person.
More evil lame bs.
and saying she has a headache/migraine? stop CAUSING it by drinking coffee / poisoining yourself and not Exercising.
and stop proLonging it by keeping ppl away who can fuck/soothe it better.

but nothing drives the wrapup/progress/vision/work like having NO ONE intelligent/good to hangout with AT ALL.

even if the typist is lying about having a job, lying about helping her mother, lying about the headaches…
it still helps me get my wrap-up further done/perfected/completed.

New Moon… ambi-typist pause bc ‘headache’,
and latest major backup in triplicate.

and so many backups happening now 🙂 (vs new ideas being jotted down, then uploaded, then revised, etc.); it is the time of completion; time for it to “finally light up”.
amen.

the way those punk kids, Matt and Amanda in Waypoint, said their names at the end, vibed as obvious that they were typical losers expecting me to know who they were, when they instead should have done the appropriate thing; introducing themselves, and not being ugly and rude.

finally added the parade-DS and marching-route and bleachers/risers to the Minecraft computer-model.
apparently it was meant to be; before I gave anyone the tour.
I like it.

HUGE improvement/expansion to the Systems of Interest expeditions sub-page 😀
…
then vegan update to MANY of those subpages

2x to get into the Corps
2 deployments
2x the paperwork to get out
2x to scout each state and nations
2 Inisfree/ABD websites
2x waiting in Indiana
2x anchoring in Big Sky;
sometimes things take 2x or 3.

so retarded and disgusting that the latest blobmonster tries to dominate men having a normal and lighthearted conversation…
while ignoring the fact that what REALLY turns off customers is BLOBMONSTERS.
what a disgrace.

the serpent/evil/ulterior vibe was 100% when the roomtard asked what some of my characters’ names are.
why would it ask something like that?
why care?
perhaps to check them against those on my website.
doesn’t matter, though; I will soon be rid of this moron, its moron-/blatant-vibe and all.
and… some time after that… I’ll get to return and heal this land of its presence.
amen.

Exploring was always worth it even though i kept finding bad humans; it always felt great to dare and drive and observe and photo and note ideas.
The Corps was worth it in spite of its many idiots; great training and travel and glory, etc.
Trying many jobs and colleges was worth it.
Dating and fucking was worth it.
Veteran events.
Creative writing and penpal/rp stuff.
Writing down and uploading all my ideas. I thought I might get sued by evil scum, but it manifested flawless hotties who are more into me than the almostHots i used to pursue.
Now it is worth it to be aiming for 364. Even though this town near it is full of evil dumbasses, they are here, not up there. Even though matt and amanda are deformed and stupid; typical evil nobodies, they are also not in 364. The area and air and cabin are still perfect, just as becoming a Marine was perfect for me, just as honoring my gifts/talents was perfect for me, etc.
I was told by dumbasses I could not enlist, but I kept at it, and gave up, and tried again, and got in. Same w Israel and many other things; I said what I want, gave up, and it came back to me.
A 20yr/eternal life-upgrade here naturally takes a couple more tries/years than a 4yr Corps experience took.
Keep trying.
Stay focused.
Ignore all the dumbasses along the way. They are demons and always fail.
I always eventually get in where i want.
Amen.
It was and is Always right to ignore those whom i easily sense are stupid and evil and wrong.

Joy (asian at latest shit gig) is definitely a repeat.
The redhead shorty hottie midriff teen face model dark eyebrows is back, if not a repeat.
Porter might be.
Cowboy parking lot tonight while carrying crepes… saying he was going to the bar…and tired of fuckin around…seems like a repeat.

Why arent ppl comPeting to give me the best rental and donations and everything else?
Why am i still having to “put it out there”?
Why isnt ambi Begging to get with me?
These “ppl” are so goddamn backward. Have been ever since childhood.
All females should be hot.
All uglies should be dead or never existed.
Everyone should love Me and My way.
Every sexy female should be texting and messaging and calling me to say how much they want and love to suck my dick…
They should be Begging me to stay w them for Free.
They should know me and always offer to Pay me to fuck Them.
Every man married to a woman I am attracted to should kneel and politely ask if I would fuck his wife since they both would love to see me do that.
THAT is normal behavior and decency. Or it Should and Shall be.

Just like n 2019, another big pile of nonvegan crap food i dont want.
Why is what i Didnt ask for always offered still?
Disgusting

But their faces were assymetrical.
They arent truly hot.
And in groups of fugs?
Why?
And just like n 2019?
Why?

Seeing all the hotties all over again, such as the white darkredhead darkeyebrows facemodel midriffoutfit rodeoconcert teen, shows me i Do get to see them over/more…even after thinking i might never see them again; even without planning Or contact info Or faith…they still showed up, not aged a day.
But their faces are not bilateral/symmetrical, and they still dont initiate, and everyone around them still are fugtarded –which is insanely rude of the gods.

Only a single person asled for vegan crepes, and it wasnt a hot girl. 99-100% failure of this town.

Loved the light rain and wind.

The little girl scared of the thunderstorm and wind moving the tent made me hope that what i RPed w typist now lets me comfort realAmbi during storms/rain <3

The latest shit job showed me all the hotties up clpse, for minites at a time, and their names without asking, but also that all of them have face or tits or height issues, etc. :/
I supose it is nice to see i was right in 2019 not to talk w any of them, but…

Another morning ruined by the latest nigger screaming, and the latest roomtard from hell / ameribitch getting a beast it didnt have time to train.

I hate still heing limited to a maybe and rp/messages, but the longer i write these spells and co-create, it stands to reason the btr than manifestation will be.

3 wanks n one night…is a good sign; healthy, interested, high sex drive, great tool, decent motivation, and in spite of the latest disgusting loser peasants.

Great to get loving messages this morning…even tho it is from a typist who said all manner of evil lies a year and a half ago, forcing a redumping back then.

The fact that doc2 thought i had only 1 soulmate, and not Ambi… shows how little of the whole vision he has seen… and how he did not understand basics such as polyamory… and how he somehow sensed/saw only one of the lesser loves, somehow not noticing the decades-long truelove courting btwn me and Ambi.
Does that mean the gods don’t allow/trust him?
Does it mean he tries to trick others?
Idk.

Revs3
Claiming that prayer only works one way…is insane and baseless.
Claimimg it only works when praying for Others… is also insane; boils down to feeding chaos/helplessness/dependency.

In 2019, the hottie w tan toned legs and cutoff light blue jean shorts and sunglasses at farmers market vendor stand across from mine…asked for scissors and i went to ask for them back. This time -loopbreak- i didnt ask, and she returned them to me, allowing me to see and hear her up close again…but face needed work. And her height.

Repeat: watching Triple Frontier at the rental, had to turn it off when roomtard drove back up. Still havent seen the ending. Maybe things really Do require 3x with me lol.

“Just wants to fuck everything/one”…uh…I literally can’t stand 99.999% of ppl, so…good job completely failing at summing me up, punk kid. Have fun forever being known as one of the dumbest liars and slanderers around.

Were some of the “battles long ago” typist spoke of… the many who tried RPing rudely at me?
Were all those…tryout and attempts at corrupting/shaming me?
This idea came to me for good reason…

I wasn’t rich when she showed up.
I wasn’t in great shape.
I wasn’t doing anything super brave or rare.
I didn’t have my own place.
I didn’t even have a job.
I didn’t even have the title to the latest vehicle.
I hadn’t wrapped up all my work.
She showed up anyway. Many times. Keep working.
Keep chilling.
She’ll return to me.

even though I’m still doing rp/creative-writing,
think about it THIS way:
I got Kelsi and others after merely BLOGging CAUSALLY BRIEFLY;
imagine what far-superior hotties/perfection I have manifested, and shall be offered/given, now that I have written conSistently far Greater spells for YEARS/DECADES.
Amen.
The more I do this final / wrap-up writing/spellcrafting/conscious-co-creation, the greater and perfect Ambi and all the others shall be… and likely already are, given how they looked each time they showed themselves to me.

The blob (gig) van showed up right when i needed it to get to the blocked parking spaces.

Beehive Basin trail refreshed my memory. The tall abs shirtless guy. The group of 4 guys hiking like older security detail in skyblue polo shirt and ballistic black shades
…
Repeat. Loop. Guy and wife, guy said caved under pressure

Triple Frontier reminded me of how i went that way, and how, before, I had tried to regather my old Corps teammates.

she could be lying about not being that old fat blackhaired “woman” at the lantern festival.
she could be lying about preferring me / our writing over all others.
she could be lying about a lot of things…
but at least she is being nice now. she wasn’t being nice -or sane- at ALL in 2021/2022. not when she/real-ambi showed up, and not via the Discord messages.
at least she got better online this month/year.

bald “J” faggot back in phase1.
now 2 bald faggots as rental neighbors, but at least they aren’t trying to pressure me into making smalltalk about blackops training BS.
hopefully I’ll get to slaughter countless of their kind soon; that would be a great holy way to kick-off the best of phase3.

eli saying he is busy with chores and stuff… vibes a lot like “I’m washing my hair” bitch excuses for not meeting/responding.
I never had any chick say that to me, but I hear it is typical lying bs from their kind.
whatever.

if I had talked to them like last time, they would have been negative like that boobsy gym spick was last time.
and even if they Had been positive, would I have missed seeing the other looped ppl here because I went off with others now?
but…
I suppose a better question now is: having seen that some are looped, what does it matter if I see More looped?; I already Know the loop is possible -and Real.
may as well talk again?

remember: in phase 1, all sucked, and all was lost/taken/stolen.
in phase 2, things went off and back on, and were a bittersweet/meh mix. prime ex.: the typist being a tard (but usually sweet, and always reliable), but the RP being perfect.
in phase 3, things will be 100% perfect to my standard. it comes soon/now. (my spells are complete, thus making it so.) amen.

The constant coughing of the roomtard is annoying, yes, but still many more uniform signs she/it is dead wrong, vs me always healthy; i am always right.

If some ppl werent retarded tv parrots and looped, i wouldnt have focused entirely on finishing my spell/site.

The roomtard being so repulsive has the good byproduct of keeping me from tv binging or eating too soon.
It also gets me up early so i can avoid it during sacred mealtime.
Phase fucking 2.

Ppl should be practically beating down my door with interest and donations and support and praise. The fact that None have in Decades says how pure evil humans are.

Humans are still just as retarded gross evil as during my childhood, but at least now i have been ignoring and blocking them by the thousands instd of trying to work w the demonic useless shits.

Once again, the oasiz psychos spam me w idiotic negativity when all i did was ask a couple times if anyone had seen RoD or Jaide.
Got 4 cunty messages on my page pretending i had gone too quickly through a chatroom and not waited,
and assuming i lost RoD Discord,
when all they had to say was “yes, it is there” and “welcome back” and “here is the link”.
Smh.
That is why i stopped going to Oasiz years ago; 100% punk lippy retard scum.
The LAST thing Any of them should have done was spam and condescend like that. I was 100% respectful, professional, and patient, and that was no reciprocated AT ALL. pure evil.
God’s latest complete failure.
I really hope i get to see more humans ended.

China Cafe memory refresh. Was so stressed and sad and lonely last time…and wanted to talk to the customers…
but I was right not to; due to the coming covidiots and looped, and bc of countless experiences where the default was neg.
This time? Same waiting room chair, same forced to-go, but enjoying the piano music, disgusted w ambi and the others, and my entire site now complete, just passing the time by polishing up / adding to a few final webpages. Browncoats pg rn.

Once again, surprised by feeling glad i did not yet team up…bc i would not have had all this time to wrap up Everything right on time; before the 1st 13yr postShift sequence completes.
I would not have happened to recheck the Browncoats webpg and made it So much btr.
And I have witnessed now what happens when I write a-game pages/spells; Ambi, GC Rain, GC Sylvanas, Kara MT gas station, Pele, Sabrina, Utah trail Laynia, Amber and Nyria at Black Robin, etc.
Finish every little thing/detail/page.
With gratitude.
And faith now. (although it isn’t pure faith; I have experience from witnessing)
Amen.

Lmao the flatEarthtards claiming zero north-south circumnavigations, and it took less than one second to look up many.
Xians always lie so poorly.

Typist calling me her dear best friend…
This time, I like it and hope it is true.
If only it was…
It Will be realAmbi and all other hotties I love telling me that truthfully in person; they All now see me as their best friend and favorite lover, and always shall. Amen.

Irlj mon25july2023 ~7pm mst. Triple rainbow after latest post-update/wave rainfall.
I used to cause lightning and shooting stars… Then earthquakes. Now? Mostly soothing rain.
Good sign.
Good progression.

Ambi typist said she had seen dopplegangers of herself…
and I saw Spock meet himself in the 2009 Star Trek movie…
and now I have seen my 2019 self in 2023…
Interesting.
Phase2 is… odd, yet… showing many signs of superhuman alignment.
…
and now makes me wonder if I have also seen myself from/in other times, …future… and/Or past.

Having re-seen so many hotties, I know now I can re-meet all the hotties. I have their memory dates written/typed. Is it really as simple as picturing the time and location… or telepathically summoning them… or willing my ICVs to get them for me?

Revs3. Novel8 release was 2022.
Novel9: 2023.
Making the computer models n 2022, and the Perseph missions schedule n 2023, IS me working on those books.
Right on schedule!

Repeat of seeing 2 hot tan legs shorts girls heading to Lark coffee shop while I was circling to find Naked Noodle.
Repeat of trying fried spinach on marina pasta box.
Repeat of wishing I had gone after the hotties, but I saw their meh/bagfaces and know better.
Repeat of ambi typist saying she is going to dinner.
Memory refresh of how sad it made me to be kept isolated and alone here in 2019.

once again, the evildoer boots me months ahead of what we talked about.
but it happened last time and I survived,
and I already hated being here,
and all my complex desk-work is done,
so it’s fine.
whatever.
next curveball.

based on all the lies this retard/roomtard told and kept telling,
she probably doesn’t have any bookings coming up,
but it’s whatever/fine;
it wasn’t working out anyway,
it was annoying,
overpriced,
not doing any good except getting my work wrapped up, etc.,
and last time…
somehow I ended up in Helena, then Mexico, then saw Ambi twice.
so… hopefully I can skip that this time, like I skipped many restaurant re-tries and trail scouting this 2nd time here,
and realAmbi will just show up and finally talk with me.
amen.

…

Having to leave the rental… is perfect timing; during summer when it is easy,
afrer seeing all neighbors are scum,
before having to hike the idiot runt the idiot roomtard refused to train,
right after ALL my work was wrapped up neatly this time,
after being able to big-post wb-thread Ambi, the typist and I once again getting along, and, she claims, permanently,
and when my left eye needed a break from the pc all day,
and when I got paid work lined up in 2 towns.
I don’t have a new rental offer yet, but… I can use the 900$ to pay off my cc a lot sooner.

worried the typist is just lying more? so what? the RP is perfect, and that’s what she is for

worried I am homeless again? so what? there’s no more reason to be at the pc/desk for now.

mad the roomtard has multiple properties? they are both shit, and no one who pays taxes has any property of their own; they are slaves.
mad the roomtard has money? she doesn’t; she’s a slave to a bullshit job. I never have to work. I choose to.
mad the roomtard “has somebody”? she doesn’t; he’s barely ever there.

finally ambi is all 3 pics on my phone; it was the amberICV-ish lock-screen one for a while, and the random-kitchen home-screen one.

rentals are for rest and peace and being myself.
since the roomtard has made those things impossible here, there is no reason to keep renting this one.
it was a shitty bed, anyway.
shitty exteriors.
shitty neighborhood.
time to bounce.
asset utilized.
re-scouting complete.
wrap-up complete.
WAYYYY better than last time; the unexpected site-rebuild of 2018-2019.

Deja vu from the copying and pasting to the Perseph Missions pg… but what was I pasting in 2019??

Repeat of santosha tan blonde meeting at crepes stand at close, white haired tall husband, dog w sanskrit name Suka for sweet but in Russian means bitch, same month to month rental offer…as in 2019.
Total memory refresh.
Why this repeat, though?? >:(

Repeat of asian Joy asking for visa MSU tour guide help, Moses of crepes suggesting we drive there b4 work, me giving ride to Bozeman…
What the hell…?

It is fun and right and balanced to now be encouraged by the hottie of all hotties to embrace and unleash the other half of my being; the “dark” (protective and commanding/kingly/royal/leader/guide/dominant/god) side.
…
and while Rhonna is a name which is unpleasant to my ears at first, due to sounding so similar to ‘rona (how the peasants say “Corona virus”, the lie), Rhonna is also the v2 of that sound; it is what soothes and smooths that memory and sound for me, helping me. Amen.

Memory refresh. The south dakota Santosha landlady wanting 2months at 1400; 2800…and willing to do 1200 and 1200; 2400.
That must be why i tried to camp, then somehow left for Helena…
How can ppl care what the going rate is here, given that they have empty rentals for months, and since it is evil to charge that much even for renting the entire shoebox?

Deja vu / memory refresh about resorting to the gym to do some laptop work after moving out of 120c6…in 2019.
I must have had that tiny depressing barebones laptop from FOCUS back then…
This time? The most badass laptop ever. And armed w the experience that this loop ends well; with the woman of my dreams repeatedly offering herself to me.

almost-Ambi sighting; black rjh-haired white woman in black mid-shins-length yoga pants/spandex, exiting from classrooms to parking lot, with 2 preteen children, at least one of them naturally medium-tanned, reminding me of my dream-wife, whom I have now seen is real, and one of our daughters; Neveah.
3:01pm MST, BASE gym / community center
Thursday 27 July 2023
taken as another good sign
and I wonder if this is me seeing forward through time… like I apparently did in 2019 when coming here and return-greeting the black-jacket brown-beanie man I now realize was my current (2023) self.
interesting thoughts and possibilities.

working in BASE community center is good for multiple reasons;
way nicer than that short-ceiling shoebox/studio-apartment,
seeing more people
seeing some hotties
music playing
no faggot-tv blasting
tons of nice clean tables
more space/room
better airflow
and now no sadness like in 2019
and no deja vu-based worries, as it feels like my work is wrapped up, and I can now see through time…
Am I becoming able to perceive time with 4D eyes, not 3D ones, at least in moments?
perhaps : )

working in the community center is another step toward the manifestation of my wall-less and window-walled WGI HQ Tower office/floor : )

3 with same surname all introduced during my 3rd round of daily trips here in BS/YC.
all RAPIDLY (almost instantly) turned into my/our sex-slaves, just as all hotties Should and Shall be, amen.
phase3 sign/s 🙂 all perfection.

idc if it’s a loop or Not. a 4-year loop is better than most humans’ DAILY loop.
plus, my work and notekeeping shows it ISN’T a full loop; it’s just the covIdiots that got looped.
it’s fine. weird, but fine. whatever.
I’ve gotten used to their idiocy/loop/brokenrecord-bs for DECADES.
imagine how the vamps feel; dealing w human idiocy/loops for MILLENNIA. I’m on round/loop ONE. lol

Leaving the rental happened before a blow-up/fight…twice now; 2019 and 2023. Good.
I needed out of it.
Not doing a lateral-move into an identical shoebox w an identical greedy ugly troll beast…also needed/good.

All the signs were there; sniffles/allergic, anti-service bs talk, half-logic by claiming he knew at 12 not to kill…yet has an entire bsuiness based on killing Countless beings, self-deformed fug monster bitch, non-male with no self-esteem thus a fug-spouse, no effort having a vision for offspring thus they too were deformed, entire community deformed and deviant and cold and looped, etc.
These are not attempts at convincing myself I was right to give up.
This is truth that needs facing.
This is stuff I valiantly tried to endure and deal with and work through. Twice.
This vibes as needing to be said/typed/noted.
This place is only worth being in as a YC 364 owner; not having to be anywhere near the freak peasants and their garbage non-food.

Callie was like another poorlymade lindaBot lol grohhhhss

I think the lesson here is that no matter how many times I make a go at this place or others, I must form my team along the way, not hope for them to join me after I spear ahead.

I cant keep pusbing through evil and allergic reactions and poverty for chumpchange from murderers…while hotties, bots/looped though they seem to be, keep passing me by.
I am a vegan.
I must simply stop resorting to nonvegan bs offers that pay me just enough to keep me enslaved.

If it hadnt been for this extra year or three back in the States, and the still stubbornly incompatible dipshit peasants, and these few extra months writing again w the typist, I would not have reinforced my vision/spell by noticing things such as the need for toilets and showers down in the Batcave2, and on and on.
Inisfree needed and got this extra review and updates wave.
Amen.

The many concerts and markets showed you that still no one is attractive other than a few hotties who still choose to behave idiotically and coldly, and with no vegan products…there is no reason for you to keep going to such events, thus quitting the crepes bs will not make the events uncomfortable for you; you won’t go to them again.
They were just to give you lulls of dif activities btwn updates.

Loopbreaks: dont need the $, so not staying at nonvegan job.
Not taking robot asian to msu.
Might go to kalispell this time.

Ambi only showed up when i was between lodging. I am between lodging again.

Dunking n river felt perfect, amazing, fantastic, heavenly

Coming here Did work; it got me paid orienting, paid concerts, paid farmers market, free food, free drinks/snowcones, loop reveals, near my dreamhouse, river swims, my work wrapped up, badguys selfexposing, etc. –twice.
It didnt work with just 1 thing –yet; the 364.
But the mood improvement alone; from indiana to here, was far and away worth it.

Nothing manifests hotties better, apparently, than me working shit jobs, going to evil nonvegan events, and being homeless, so weeeeeee here i go again.
Fuck this phase.

Deja vu from getting orange smooth vegan ice cream only vegan flavor at brick wall place beside bagel shop.
Deja vu / repeat / loop also from writing smut w ambi typist while i am parked behind that place.
Deja vu about it being a sex scene w Nevaeh.
All this is repeating?????
Why?
To help it manifest?
I sure Hope it is a good thing.

Memory refresh. I remember hating how crepes guy suggested i camp on that random old fat poor guy’s “farm” somewhere in Livingston. So off target. So opposite of what i asked for.
At least now i have seen he has no real leads/connections; he introduced fugtards, and suggested still more fugtards, and none helped at all.
Same as last time.
This time, i quit earlier. I think. Good.

Memory refresh. Eating at chipotle, back countertop stainless steel, view of grass lawn hill slope to street. Mayne even the white legs black shortshorts girl w braided light brown hair walking in, too tall.
Last time, i was so stressed and sad.
This time? Numb and feeling accomplished.

I’ve broken the loop many times. It doesnt matter if i break it more. Why not let it play out how it seems determined to?

Last time, I was trying to force myself to eat this over salted chipotle rice and chips and all…to get every posb calorie…due to my maxed cc.
This time? 2500cc available, nearly 1k still n account, and eating only half.
Also last time here, was so worried and sad at the “pause here, long day tomorrow” messages from typist. I thought “yeah well at least you are not homeless”.
This time? Don’t care. Numb to it.

That idiot defaulting to “maybe you are losing your mind”?…when there are a Thousand other things he coukd have thought of and said…
Smh.
Typical braindead nonvegan amerifail.
So glad i have passive income and can always quit such evils/hells/gaslighters.

Memory refresh. After chipotle, jeep parked at portajohns dirt lot for farmer market next morning, watching sunset, so lonely and scared…and here i am again, loop continuing.
:/
How do i avoid going to Helena this time?

Maybe this extra time was needed to focus to certainy, and to write many more spells, to ensure our family is exactly as i intend it to manifest and remain.

If i go to kalispell, it will be a loopbreak.
If i rent in kalispell, it will be a loopbreak.
The only loopbreak i want is my fam w realAmbi, but at least i can choose not to go bk to helena and lowe’s.
Will the 2019 tv news scam repeat this year, and increase next, as it did in 2020?

Should i feel sympathy for / similar to the hotties who paused for me, prob freezing w nervousness/shyness just like i used to?
Sure.
But i still want what i want.

Is it a loopbreak to not b by the fairgrounds and overnight train horns?

Found i don’t need black paper to tape to middle window; turned my sleeping bag around

Sleeping in vehicle feels so much btr than those awful beds

So glad i am not dealing w that spoiled ugly runt dog

Sleep n every day. Very nice. No schedule

River feels btr than that lame tiny tub shower

Got another free nice-smelling towel

Got free bear spray

Sooner i let go of shit job and lame hotties, sooner it gets replaced w better

As a sapiosexual, i just can’t feel attraction to this species of fools and jerks

If the loop continues, there will be lies on tv starting in nov/dec, then next year i will know there is no point leaving usa for mex/s.amer, as no one out there would help.

Since humans think My rules don’t apply to Them, Their rules don’t apply to Me.
“They get what they give.”

typist’s long days at interval… keep being exactly what I need to keep these notes/records,
do my site updates; update her characters’ webpages, etc.

10:15-10:25 AM Sat29Jul2023
repeat of trying Cold Smoke coffee place, not liking it, going back to City Brew, liking its look, and almost-Ariel in lightweight thin pattern-skirt and white t-shirt coming in, looking at me as she waited, going to sit down across the entry walkway, facing me, staying on her phone, face needs work, but height and skin are pretty much perfect. outfit colors perfect. definitely a form-sake, minus the face.
…and I love how her shirt is tied in back in such a way that leaves a hole above her midriff-revealing section, and how her skirt curves up and overlaps in one place.
and her perfect/ideal tailbone/butt curve. 100. at least “god” gets SOME things right.
…Maybe she is Ariel with a face-uglifying magic-disguise so she can be near me, and see me, and help soothe me, but not engage just yet…
…and I remember
…and the loopbreaks this time are:
1) I didn’t feel so stressed/lonely/upset in the coffee shop working alone,
2) I recognized her from 2019,
3) I remembered, before doing it, that I walked out and saw her face last time and chose not to engage, and I am once again glad I trusted that instinct/blood, having re-seen her, and only liking her body/legs/clothes.
and lol at the thought that maybe there are nymphs not just bound to rivers and trees, but to coffee shops these days.
…
she kept looking my way… from her table… and when she stood to use the restroom… and both times she was at the napkins island/counter.
loopbreak: she left before Me this time. and last (first) time (2019), it was iii who kept looking at Her as I left. This time, she did it to me. We were meant to see and look at each other. I wonder why she left, though… I guess that means this isn’t a true loop, even when I am Not the one to change/break it. Does that mean I am getting my way? I did, technically, reject her and not Want her, given her Face… I just wanted to see her walk around, which she did for me.
I was about to tell her I loved her outfit. must not have been meant to be.
her face was not good. not bad, but not good.
…
I like that hotties like her, even if she isn’t perfect yet, are the ones who look my way the most, noticing me the most. That is good/right.
…
and, having stayed longer this time, seeing the pele-like asian/islander cheerleader-outfit walk-in… is yet another loopbreak 🙂 <3
The loop is breaking itSelf now 🙂
amen
dark fuchsia swoop-collar top, light brown skin, black skirt curves up toward the outsides of her thighs, rjh hair, decent face, but tits need work, and torso/chest is too wide.

and the perfect-face and eyes and skin hottie taking a smiling selfie after the crepe visit at the concert last Thursday?
she, too, was the hottest there that night, and was the one who looked at me the most; direct eye contact, prolonged eye contact, returning, peeking at me around the price signs, …<3
if only she’d behaved and not been a shy cunt like in 2019 when she first posted there for me to see.

it occurs to me that realAmbi and the others needed this time (all these past few years) to adjust themselves or get used to normal modern life…
so they’d be perfect for, and happy with, me.
just as I needed the last few years… to finish getting my vision published.
I thought I’d be publishing novels, but it turns out I was meant to publish my website –at least first (the novels, as I foresaw/wrote, will be published in and for Inisfree).

phase1: sex interrupted.
2: offered opp, had to loop vril onto self.
3: vril now 4decades builtup, thus surging to all i chose

More of the same sign; hideous oversized and cuntface NPCs.
I tried to enjoy the Hyalite Lake / Grotto Falls trail, and it was identical fugtards to my 2019 post-BigSky hike/attempt there. GROSS. Shame on all the gods for failing to make their realms good.
Why can’t I enjoy hikes yet? Why am I being steered away from these trails now twice?? GAY!

Speaking of GAY, that SFv2.0; the BASE Com’ Center guy, is still a better v of SF; better face, beard, attire, etc., but my GOD, what a disappointment / deviant.
but I’m not having to DEAL with him like I had to deal w SF, so that, too, is a slight improvement.
whatever.

Checked the license plate registration sticker numbers, and they say 2023 or 2024, so i didnt go back n time lol…but some ppl definitely got set on repeat…

Did i have the same 4 snacks last time at grotto falls trailhead? Dried mushrooms, dried carrots, coconut soft cookie cylinders, coconut choc chip soft cookie cylinders.

Even though i am again getting rp messages of the same topic from the typist, such as Nevaeh putting on lingerie, candles, and hors d’oeuvres for me, it is nice to share such loving visions, and nice to have them over and over like anniversaries.

So many logical fallacies from the crepes guy, and so inappropriate for his deformed frog monster bitch to be scolding and shushing him. But…he accepted and fucked and bred with it, so he deserves it. I just didnt deserve to Be around it. Let alone twice.

Thinking back through time to figure out how long ’til I likely see Ambi again:
2023 march montana, 2022 indiana, winter/dec madison indiana arrival from indy, autumn arrival in indy from missouri, 1 month in 2021 summer escondido house w crazy POG, oceanside start of summer so ambi june ish night 2021, eli when room too warm, az/nm 1week attempt, eli, ambi end 2020 az motel after mex return, mex for half of 2020, left nursery in june 2020? Started nursery in may? Lowes trng 2019 nov? So seeing ambi in az…was 1.5yrs after leaving 2019 bigsky? Left bigsky in endJuly/startAug 2019? Must i wait 1.5yrs b4 seeing her again? Maybe i am supposed to Come to mt w her…bc mt somehow sets up loops? So if sue is w me, our shared desires/famVision will be stabilized by the loop effect? No; the repeat/looped nonPpl were in Indiana, too…

not quite an ICV, but at least had some manners and cuteness and positive-vibe touch:
Sun30jul2023
10:25pm in Oppenheimer theater right side hall, the shorty brunette cute white teen who gently smoothly bumped me and apologized. Such a wonderful feeling. First time i was touched in…i dont know how long.
: )
A loopbreak that is good.
But still babysteps

 

–

August:

nevermind on the full loopbreak;
I DID walk by the almost-Ariel on my way out to my vehicle for something,
but I remember the old-people and Leslie-Nina fusion hottie b/c the old guy told of an “Army Ranger” friend/story

“Do you believe in miracles, do you believe in waves of magic” song playing on City Brew speakers system while I do my latest website mega-update / ‘wave’ 🙂

Some ppl resort to drugs or suicide or gangs when they lose hope. I isolate like a monk or prophet or jedi… and build god-cities and draft badass concerts, always defaulting to music, art, love, and family.

4 years later, and I’m still finding website typos and great song additions,
and the hotties look EXACTLY as I left them in 2019 and before.
Madelyn was wrong, just as it vibed so certainly; I HADN’T missed opportunities; I get as many as I want/need, as do the hotties.

being homeless is saving me a TON of money,
AND showing me a LOT of the hotties I saw at the concerts –which I can’t go to anymore, bc of the crepes bs.
just saw the angry/stern-face hispanic,
and the light-brown boobsy Stormcastle trail hottie,
and the Pele-ish teen 🙂
It’s good to do my work in public here now.
and it’s a nice thought that maybe they are here to work on Them… just as Iii am working on my site; they are getting perfect for me, while I am making our realm/future perfect.

still july:
Sunday 30 July 2023 at BASE Community Center: The cute Pele-like teen w brown long elven legs, medium-pink Ellen-shorts, white t-shirt, brown curly mermaid hair, and Abercrombie-ish friend, playing foosball beside my work desk/table. So cute how animated and bouncy and noisy they are, seeking attention. Great smooth young feminine voices, too. A nice addition to my workday; eye-candy and ear-candy.
and a memory-refresh; they did that in 2019 when I worked here that Summer.
nice to see they haven’t aged a day. teens staying teens… That’s pretty Phase 3; people retaining their health/primes.
Amen.

sun30jul2023 more retard psyop pussy music, this time at BASE Comm’ Ctr;
“Why am I so afraid to take this leap of faith, stuck in place, so many tears shed, all I need is you” (paraphrasing/partial)
Can’t relate; I always said what was on my mind, always recruited, always boldly/bravely explored and tried to launch businesses, always talked to and messaged hotties, etc etc.
Must just be a standard with these primitive amerifail humanimal Outlanders here for some reason (lame retard lyrics/music).
whatever.

finally added content to my final concert subpage; Auz’s Iraq!
and it helped me remember so many fun songs we came up with over there!! 😀

Forgetting to roll the windows down a bit, then working for 7 hrs in coffee place, made for Very pleasant sutprise; hot FleshLight. Feels so fuckin good every time. Mm.

Typist saying “pause here” was exactly when I needed it; to catch up w the updates from what we had just written / consciously co-created.
My instinct to copy and write and publish it and block all humanimal commenting…has remained all these years as strong a feeling and sign and successful method as when i knew it was time for me to become a warrior.
Wow.
Good.

If i hadnt drawn the line, they would have kept stringing me along and shifting the goalpost and walking all over me.
My disgust at their evil hasnt cheated me out of fun w them, it is the #1 thing, other than the hotties not uniting w me yet, that has gotten my vision all the way seen and published.
It isnt meant to last; i am meant to socialize again someday somehow, but it is the standard effective phase2 mix.
It has served me.
Amen.
Blessing in diguise.
Like Conan’s harnessed rage.
I harnessed my own/disgust.

900-1200/mo for a room… when the while place should be 800/mo, max.
That’s 30-40/day; what motels used to cost when I was growing up.
The gym is 50/mo; 1.6-1.78/day, which is ~16-25x less… for the only things I needed the rental for: internet, shower.
A fridge was nice, but I didn’t truly need it.
Sleeping on the firm suv seatbacks folded down…feels better.
Mosquitos in the suv? There were flies n the rental.
No annoying dog shitting in the suv.
No evil landlady lying and promoting evil deviancy daily.
No tv blasting.
No coffee poison.
No corpse pieces. No mutilated body parts.
No shitty bed.
No parking nazi/troll/runt smearing goo on my window.
No faggot neighbors trying to touch me (shake my hand).
No faggot voice distortions.
No frumpy bloated blobcunt neighbors.
No hotface cunt who smiled at me like she wanted me… and then refused to talk.
No having to endure TONS of turnoffs and rudeness and disgusting bs… and then forcing myself to nut in carefully-timed windows of time.
It is much better in my suv, at least for now; until good ppl show up.
All i lost was a bicycle i rarely used… that was free except for a tune-up.

The message from kalispell helped prevent fullMoon impulse-roadtrip; they want to meet not in a few days, but more than a week; after the fullMoon.
Thus help for preventing such a ‘jump’ was given without me asking.

The Crow’s Nest webpg is fixed, and the Concerts webpg is sooooo much better!
These lonely and disgusted chapter intervals sure pay off!

Not a single girl in that gym…or anywhere…was random; every last one was a test.
Ame was a test.
The ppl trying to make me notice and chase them made that obvious.
Their uniform rudeness and anger vibes make that obvious.
They have no reason to be mad at me…unless they r paid only to be bait.
Unless they Want me to diverge and selfcorrupt and fail.
If they were randoms, they would have been polite and engaging and brave.
They would have vibed as innocent.
And no males would have pointed me their way.
And the ones bouncing n the gym? Bots, sure, maybe, or dhampirs, or clones…but a camera pointed right at me…and that foosball game Not that exciting, even for them. They wanted me to notice them.

And her halo hair braid around rjh hairstyle hanging down past shoulders. Wonderful

In 2019, i wanted the boobsy brown gym girl to see me air drumming to the music as i worked on my laptop downstairs. This time, i didnt care; i air drummed just bc i wanted to for Me.
Amen.

finally stopped opening the Pinterest gmails/emails; this is a sign the incoming/processing of phase2 is done; it is time to manifest. well, having seen Ambi and Sabrina and Rain etc, and even Nyria and Amber ICV1 (on Black Robin) are already very REAL and PERfect, it is time to Finish manifesting the Last parts of my vision/spell/destiny. amen

Lol at the latest Oasiz/Discord/human retard; Raven typist…says she has arthritis in her hip, thereby telling me she unhealthy, unfit, old, the opposite of what I asked for, etc. Nothin new. Just god’s latest complete failure and disgrace. But at least that idiot got dusted years ago, then finalized that dusting prior to any rp today.
Good enough.

Passing the time in a portajohn…brings back memories of iraq.
At least now it is peaceful and ofp and safe and no enemy-sniper sounds.

Deja vu from the almostAmbi in lavender top outside citybrew bozeman today; may have seen her n 2019. This time, i am not stressed w worry about maybe missing the opportunity; i have already beaten this level, and see it repeats, and know way hotter are coming up.

I walk right into the middle of the crowd at the front of the stage, week after week, show after show, and listen to the same music that is getting them all swaying and jumping… but I still, a decade and a half after becoming free again, cannot feel what they feel. Only the voyages of acquisition call to me. So far, there are no suitable prizes here.

“I Feel It (She is Love)” by Avid Dancer always makes me smile and calm down, picturing Inisfree.

Being impulsive wasnt a problem for me; I still got all my ideas through, and saw countless hotties, and have lived.
I always mostly worked, focused.

Yet another reason to be glad i am still solo and homeles rn: wrapping up even the concert subpages –without the bad vibes of the lying sack-of-shit deformed troll roomtard and her nigger rodent shitmonster. I couldnt draft good concert plans if i was still renting there.

Thought i was loopbreaking by seeing a 2nd movie a day later, but ended up w memory refresh from eating fish tacos and undercooked green beans in the mall food court amidst bloated blobmonster wiggers. Ugh. I guess there are only so many things one can do in this lame town/country; deja vu and memory refreshes will happen.

Tue1aug2023. After movie Mission Impossible 7, Whole Foods parking lot, elven platinum blonde mermaid hair hottie skinny fit midriff but w 2 guys, walked in beside me = alignment, but parted and did not initiate. Also too tall.
But a loopbreak; no deja vu.

I needed these extra lonely years to wrap all up, and now all is. Amen.
It worked out.

Thought i was late to Mission Impossible 7 but i was early and got a full dinner.
Thought ambi had lost interest or wouldnt want to rp during fullMoon, but we RPed more loving than ever!
Phase3ish signs.
: )

Deja vu slight from her sending the ambi ish boobsy in black latex sexdoll outfit pic? Who cares. It was hot as hell.
It is something i Want repeating for me.

~1pm MST, Wed2Aug2023:
definite memory refresh: the retarded attention-seeking gaytard kid talking loudly at his phone app game after playing ping-pong

Even the annoying looped attn-seeking boy loser at BASE worked n my favor; it stopped me from over-texting ambiTypist today.

Over and over, all the years of webpage revisions have perfected/completed my spell/s, and were necessary.

so nice to hear the rain on my vehic roof and windows, no longer the coughing of tue selfpoisoning fakehealthy peasant retard bitch.

Roxy first had fat queer troll and bizarre almostNative thing. Several months of being here, and the 2 sexiest white platinum blonde teen girls from the concerts and farmers markets now work there, side by side, giggling, another alignment…but they r too tall, not 10s (though at least 8s), not initiating, etc.
…and, ofc, they may be bots or looped or vaxxed or god knows what else.

Revs3. No one dies of old age; they die of atrophy from poisoning and from not holding the vision of their health. Y hospital y healthcare lhs

Wanted pizza, but chose vegan at roxy’s, and got treated to a surprise seeing my 2 favorite platinum blonde teens now working there! It pays to choose healthy.
Too bad they are not ready for me yet; not hot or engaging or short enough.
But their short shorts and long hair were perfect.

Memory refresh: the vegan cookies and other vegan groceries in vehicle during rain afternoon evening onset skydim while wishing I would go back and chat up the 2 platinum blonde hotties…but this time i know they havent aged a day, and havent calibrated.

I park by the window, and ofc a guy “has” to work ON THE WINDOWS today. smh.
fucking bots.

rack up one more looped person; Brodin said only at gallery for 3 years… but I met him there 4+ years ago; 2019

surely a loopbreak: dubstep blasting in the BASE gym; “Feel No Pain” by GRiZ
awful lol

found the sound of rain on the portashitter quite nice this morning

Over and over, I polish and further polish my site, pg after pg, and it finally looks really good, and it rains nicely hard every time, day after day, updates wave after updates wave.

The rain on my suv sounds nicer than whatever those nonvegan sickos r saying at the Wildlands concert.
The inside of my suv looks a lot nicer than all the humans who have come to this town.
Can’t wait to have power; so i can reboot them all.

Loopbreak. I remember in 2019 going into the big tent for day 1 of 3 of the Wildlands festival, and standing amidst strangers, then leaving and feeling sad my dreamgirl didn’t show. This time, I didn’t go in –or even get out of my suv. Amen; skipping the suck.

Memory refreshes: the 2 guys talking about weird weather in gym… and me asking them to watch my stuff while i used the restroom.
Loopbreak: i didnt chat about weather w them this time.

Nice that the typist wrote/channeled/relayed Ambi saying she loves me, flaws and all…
except that i dont see them as flaws…
Phase2 mix :/

being alone n my vehicle…is still a lot btr than being in vehicles w jarheads or pretend relatives.

It is unfortunate to see this town is still useless and evil…
but i wrote spells this year to make it vegan and otherwise much better, so hopefully those will kick in, producing perfect results like realAmbi’s looks in AZ.
…
Also, i never intended to have, or wrote having, things develop in this town; i wrote of getting into 364…and commuting by aircraft from it to Inisfree; it makes sense that things havent worked out down here in peasant-village.

Memory refresh. The hispanic face model black curly hair up n top bun w side strands starting work at gym front desk. In 2019, i wanted to talk to her when i left before the concert. This time, i think she is looped.

Icv memtag clonemod
11:52mst sat5aug2023
On bank side of bigsky dntn intersec, walking sidewalk, pink sweat top fitted, skinny mild tan perfect smooth skin blonde nina face model naurhin, remove ear rings, drop height

Crotch shaved : )

Headphones taped up : )

All 3 Romanovskis got great songs and videos now, not just pics : )

Icv memtag clonemod
4:10pm mst sat5aug2023 preteen shorty pele ish w black mermaid hair down, gary tshirt, riding bicycle w other preteen on other bicycle, as i exited Wilson hotel hall bathroom, but remove ear rings.
…
Lame psyop music continues; playground farmers market park right outside “what you find aint what you lookin for, not lookin for love no more”.
Wrong; i am always looking for love, and love is love, not random bs i “find” (have rudely put in my path along the way).

Soooo glad i didnt pay for the Wildlands tickets; awful first woman singer voice, awful food, ugly audience, and parking free anyway since I was early

I hate still going over my site, and still RPing, but it just showed me more typos i am now fixing at last, and it really would have taken this long even w all the bs alomg the way; had to rest and such.
So…it is what i needed…and really nice to be able to.
And doing it w a writer who plays/relays the sexiest woman alive…who has started meeting me…is good. Maybe even great. For now.

Blue Buddha memory refresh.
Same blond beside, same white haired man standing by her
After seeing the piercings, the back turned (the blonde bitch who was sitting on the bar stool next to me) is a favor to me lol
Nasal voice, too. Not my type/thing.

Last time, was n fleece and tense and hoping for a lucrative convo.
This, time just enjoying sushi and noticing the loop.

Poppers btr than i rmbr. Still…loop :/

Same med tan white hair guy sitting at my right, sampling new beer b4 drinking?

Beau from bshm also quit, nice to get a good handshake and vibe

Barf; the linda2 overpriced landlady at the concert street entrance… What an awful sign. Definitely steers me away. But good bc it stopped me from asking for the ticket price.

Sat5aug2023.
Memory refresh same saucer leak vid convo duri g cincert lord huron. Thabk god eli remembers 4yrs ago expdus trng. He is not looped

oh, the severe irony and idiocy of the meme he sent; “Sometimes God puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.”; only dumbasses think god does that, when they do that to themselves.
and, while mildly amusing, it was wrongly directed; he is the one who needed to see that meme,
as I keep getting to see the world, and making progress, while HE and HIS parrot-kind keep putting themSelves in the same situation/loop.

back in touch with Eli, and thank fucking god he remembers the past 4/+ years; he wasn’t one of the looped.  must have been the vax after all… (that looped/rebooted/memory-wiped those who took it)

…

Repeat of kalispell sydney fugtard claiming she hadnt heard from me so she scheduled walkthroughs already.
This is why i didnt go to kalispell in 2019.
Smh.
Whatever.
Would have been a shithole anyway.

Maybe the looped ppl were wearing Mission Impossible masks…
Either way, inappropriate, lame, pathetic, not interesting, not useful.

Posb manifestation proto.
7:26pm mst sun6aug2023
Neveah face ish but a little too tall.
Big Sky playground dntn.
Walking sidewalk from shops toward my suv.
White beanie, shoulderlength dark brown hair, maggie lindemann face, black jacket, light sports bra, bluejeans baggy, using cell phone, head down. Lame.
Did the same walk by in 2019? Likely; so many others have been looped exactly this year.
…
Memory refresh. Paused beside playground w concert pre-geadliner band playing across dirt lot, while eating the So Delicious vegan icecream sticks, but last time (2019) I think I had the almond vs. This time, vanilla bean.

Lol lightning overhead seems to have ended the Foo Fighters concert. I hope my anger caused it. I hope everything the humans try to do/enjoy gets ended by the weather my anger at their shit treatment of me keeps causing. Amen.

New shoes look a lot like my prev ones; black w white soles, and were paid for by my enemies, and were btr than expected.
Too bad about the hideous fug ogres on the way to them.
Neat how stepping in stink puddles last night at Lord Huron dirt lot led to these beautiful/handsome new Sketchers.

2 of the idiot NPCs speeding by me in tye parking lots this week, ignoring me backing out, nearly hitting me, and a 3rd on tye main rd to moonlight this afternoon who hit the brakes in front of me and then blamed me when i hit the brakes. He was following too closely to the cars ahead, and i stoppes n plenty of time to not hit him, yet he still defaulted to blameshifting and rude body language. Reminded me of 2019 when that same dumbass bot did the same dumbass thing.
What a loop.

Ppl were hideous and overly tall and rude and stupid last time, and this time they were all those same things And looped!; I can’t feel Any attraction to such freaks and nobodies.

At least my vehic and pc is btr, and all my work wrapped up, vision complete, and new characters/ppl still being softdisclosed and trained for me by the hottest woman of all, my wife, Ambi.
Amen!

“Sieze what you want”? I tried. Many times. For decades. Your sorry stupid primitive evil kind always ruined the moment and threatened me.
So now i will sieze you all and what else i want; control. And your kind’s catqclysmic end.
Amen.

Foo Fighters sound bad here in stage. Again, glad I didnt pay for a ticket.
Day 1 was lame n the tent –in 2019 and now.
Day 2 was bittersweet and offputting; fug troll linda v2 at gate, and Eli call like in 2019.
Day 3 was rained out for an hour, parking packet even on dirt field, and bad sound of live performance.
Glad i skipped all and bought no tickets for anything this year.

“It’s times like these, you learn to live again.” Foo Fighters lyric said over and over…but I never needed to relearn living; I have lived well as an explorer, lover, pioneer, etc.; it is the humans who need to learn how to live better.

Listening to concerts from outside them is not ideal, but it saves tons of $, and it blocks all but the sounds i want, filtering out the 99% fugs and 100% rude oblivious dumbass ape ppl who don’t recognize me.
Phase2.
And it is a transition bc it is me letting go of any connection to the failed species/civilization.

Once again, the roomtard does something irresponsible and idiotic, leaving my bike unlocked.
At least it saved me seconds of being there at that shithole.
Phase2.

Foo Fighters keeping me up a few hrs…helps me finished reviewing editing my Concerts webpg.
And editing my webpgs is same as editing 1 more novel’s worth of text each year.
It works out.

Nonvegan foodtrucks in there… Nonvegans/murderers/fake-spirituals; can’t enjoy moshing w such evildoers.

I never “got in my own way”; others got in my way. I Always worked and studied well, and gave my all, and was open to networking.
I have learned that the lifecoaching vids online…are not for me, but the dumb humans.

swarms of spawns in the gym here isn’t the “overlap” I wanted or asked for.
it is just the NPCs/humanimals failing hard, like they always have.
it is them interrupting my work.
it isn’t a sign.
it isn’t a polite reminder that it isn’t quite time for me to have my own children.
it is failed reproductions that are oblivious to the one true king and god.
it is rudeness.
it is double-booking.
it is the lingering remains of retarded phase2.

Memory refresh spot near swan creek, starting atop hill, then going down to grove under canopy to avoid 2 fisherman idiots

Ppl aren’t shittier the longer i stay here; theyve been shitty since i Got here. Both times.
I can stay as long as i want. Some are just shitty bc they r mindless and programmed that way

Memory refresh. The tattoo guy white tanktop and jeans

all I need for a loopbreak here is to GET some ink (tattoo) done this time; I left before doing it last time; didn’t have enough to afford $100 an hour, but this time it is easy. 🙂

memory refresh: asking to use the classroom… and working on collapsible table on my laptop.
this time feels different, though; so much work done now, not a mountain of work ahead anymore.

As surely as my instincts told me to keep telling the truth as a boy,
and to enlist,
and to leave the fake Corps,
and to explore,
and to build and rebuild my website,
they have been telling me that none are hot unless I see all of them and they worship me.
My instincts now tell me I am god, and all except those who worship me should be wiped out.
Amen.

Is the typist like J; just tricking/easing me into writing what I would do or want to do?
Who cares; I like writing it.
Is it a repeat of 2019 RP? Who cares; I like writing it.
Is it secretly really her; real Ambi, seeing if I would be as dark as she likes, or if I would abuse her if I felt wronged and able to rape her? Who cares; I like writing it.

“What do you do now?” from Beau could be typical spy chat to zero in on me.
“Whatever makes you happy,” had the evil tone of condescension at my writing.

Every time i worry i missed out on another hottie, all i have to do to calm back down is remember how HUNDREDS and THOUSANDS of females/hotties treated me every time i tried to pick them up or chat or help or teach or be myself or even just RP.

Did that drunk guy resting on my hood after the concert…happen the same way in 2019? Was he resting on my Jeep hood back then?
Loop/repeat?

Everyone being just a few inches too tall…is really disgusting…but a very easy/obvious sign; these r not good ppl or normal ppl or My ppl.
I continue on.

Last time, i had no way to keep the salvaged rich bicycle. This time, it stays nicely atop my new and free suv.

More idiocy and lies from fatfuck elitard; wanting to go out on the ocean, needing a yacht he will never afford, praying again even though i am not a xian, praying to a madeup god when i am real, saying he is a cowboy even though he has never been one or even Had a cow, telling a man he knows is vegan he himself wants steak, being unsure he can save a mere 2K which is critical for a roadtrip, bragging about fucking chicks and having chicks hitting on him… after always showing me he never fucked chicks at all (only fugtard beasts), talking shit about girls who fuck Blacks… when he himself told me he fucked one of the ugliest Black bitches I have ever seen, still being hideously out of shape, taking in a stray dog even though he is too poor even for himself, saying “not all are chosen”… when he himself clearly wasnt chosen, and on and on.
And here I was, giving up some time to plan another roadtrip w him.
He doesnt believe in the exodus, and he doesnt deserve to go on it, even if he did believe.
We dont need another practice trip, and he is just using the word “exodus” to try and spin what he was really doing; using me for my vehicle… to go make another pointless hangout with another loser he is addicted to, just like the loser fake relig he is addicted to… and the loser cowboy lie.
He was tested during the practice loop, and found useless just like everyone else so far.
He has only been decent for stowing my tools.
And him saying iiii Too am a dwarf? Retarded.
I may be ugly for now, but I am no dwarf.
Dwarves are fat. I am not.
Dwarves have piercings. I do not.
Dwarves have no real women. I refuse all ugly females.
Dwarves booze. I do not.
Dwarves are nonvegan. I am vegan.
Dwarves live in caves. I do not.

I worried I had slept through an RP post from the typist, but I had not. Thankfully, she and I again wrote at the same time, and rested at the same time. Another ideal alignment. Another thing working out as i needed it to.

The females along my way so far have never behaved as gifts/blessings, but liars, turncoats, problem causers, and worse.
If they had been blessings, they would not have behaved so badly before and after I met them.
All of them, by their behavior, were attempts at changing/slowing/corrupting/derailing me.
Blessings would have introduced themselves, asked what I like, done what I like, and donated to me.
They were just lame bait.
They weren’t even truly attractive, only partially.
That is evil.
Thus I was right to walk past them all, never slowing down. I only pause to partake of actual good.

Memory refresh. Met dave here in 2019, had fish and chips, hated it.
Same today.
Must have been mad and not wanted to stay n touch w him then.
I guess i am about to refresh why that was…
Nice that he married the redhead Victoria’s Secret girl, tho
Kid is 2 yrs old now.
Let’s see if that repeats.

The typist saying she naps or passes out or is going to dinner…1 reminds me of ame lying about cheating, but 2 makes me hope real Ambi is just direct about her side fun.

Being upstairs w pepperpni pizza from Milkies…taken into bar across parking lot…is memory refresh.
What a loop lol.
…
Question is…when i am Not looking to reconnect w old frnds…why do they appear?
When i am vegan, why didnt They get healthy?
Etc.
Is it really just to spur me to chat w new ppl?

Memory refresh and loopbreak. Last time, i thanked the girl from blue buddha for the tattoo lead. This time, skip.

Like eli, dave hasnt improved at all. In all these years…
I was right both times to break contact.
Jfc.
He even tried to peer pressure me.
His friend tried to get fat bitches coming over…

Ugh.
I wish he hadnt noticed me today.

Dave kept me up the entire night…after pushing drugs…the same way the mexico retard did.
May as well have been the same demon.
Smh.
But loopbreak: in 2019, i got them coffee, and tried to work w them, while this time…i just skipped that and went to sleep. This time, i did not push through for what was obviously never workable. This time, i chose health and self. Amen.

I’m tired of fighting for shitty rentals, only to find out that the landlord is a piece of shit, and the roommate, and the neighbors. I’m tired of trying to read hints and minds, only to find out that every bitch is retarded and evil and deformed. I now accept the reality that, at least so far, it is better to be homeless and single.

It sucks still resorting to the typist, but she is the only writer in 40 yrs who at least does rp appropriately. We click in most ways. Not all, but most, and far more than all the others i tried with. And the vision she helps me stay on is good. Call it an escape, if you like, but it is still the only healthy mindset i have heard of so far.

So nice to take a day off from the gym and pc, just enjoying nature, and having 2 perfect shits

I just dont understand why i am remeeting these people who were not right last time and still the same now. I didn’t come here to re-experience them. All it does is remind me I was right to disconnect.

Maybe this dave encounter was just another sign and reminder i am on the right track…and am getting btr at excusing myself peacefully. Also, him being that bad…spared me from also experiencing how ugly his spouse got. Also, now i know when not to go to cowboy coffee.

Interesting alignment: when she said Her work schedule got changed, the Wildlands concert and dave idiocy changed mine.

It is strange that dave’s skin tone and muscle tone are still how they were in 29palms…even after a decade and a half of him eating shit and doing drugs and not sleeping…

That hottub felt miserable. So unpleasant

I took a couple days off updates…and the skies cleared.

It was good to hear that all the assholes from dave’s 2013 rental got karmically fucked; sean insane, brett retarded kids, jared always angry at everyone and married, etc.

Rape roleplay w eager Izzy is EXACTLY what i needed today. Again, didnt have to ask; was volunteered.
Hopefuly irl is this good Very soon. That would make it finally phase3.

Memory refresh. Riverhouse bbq waiting out back at evening nightfall and woman w russian hat kindly told me to see the river bc it is beautiful. I went down there and remembered weeping by the reeds in 2019, wishing ambi was w me.

Maybe ppl other than me can only change…when i initiate w them…
and some ppl can’t change even then, like how hitt and eli never improved even tho they have Some thought/memory…

Memory refresh: in 2019, i was sad and frustrated and even angry at those egyptian and white-marble benches pics the typist sent me, bc i instd wanted realAmbi to Meet me…but today sue sent them aGain, so now (in 2023) i am thinking maybe i was seeing frwd n time somehow, or she is based in this year/time, so today those texts make sense, as we have been designing her pyramid complex, whereas back then i did not yet have the foresight or memory to know they made sense.
In other words, maybe she sends messages based on 2023 texting w me, even in other years, so they only make sense and feel okay now.
Interesting.

Dave’s many logical fallacies lol; claims he’s a foodie, or mentions foodies regarding pizza, then goes to one of the shittiest non-foodie bars/pizzerias ever. Claims skills fade, then refuses a friendly invitation to brush up on shooting skills. Claims we r friends, then spends an entire evening insulting and pressuring me to do all manner if evil –twice; in 2019 and 2023. He is so much like the hotties who kept showing up; whether i interact or not, they tantrum for attention, then treat me like shit no matter What i say or do, and esPecially if i do Anything healthy/good. – and dave acts like he is tough, and insultingly claims i am not, yet whines about river water being too cold…after being in a boat Company.

maybe she paused RP bc she is actually reading all those books lmao.
so much steamy smut cover art.

deja vu / memory refresh of river spot slope afternoon, brunette w accent from minivan asked if I had seen an ear-bud she lost,
then memory refresh of asking what language the hot bronze cheekies pingpong girl fam was speaking; if Italian or Greek, and they said Hebrew; pretty sure I asked them that last time (2019).

nice to see the hot white platinum blonde face-model teens at the gym today
Friday11August2023 ~7pm heading to basketball court
just too bad they aren’t that hot, and need to lose the ear-rings, and are too tall :/
love her tight elven midriff and tight white asscheeks hanging out under her pale-gray short-shorts
and that they played pingpong, bending over right next to me, showing me their best angles/sides/tilts

Memory refresh. Sat in jeep singing songs instd of concert.
This time? Practicing a concert in my suv. Much btr mood.

The typist has replied so instantly for so many years… that it worries me when even 1 day goes by without hearing from her.
I also worry about having no closure if something happened…since no one would get word to me.
Then again, after her politard, religtard, jls-la-la bs in the first weeks of 2021, and after her saying she isnt realAmbi, and after seeing how a loss gets replaced w btr, i can’t fully worry or care.

Like me, i bet all the hotties have given names, and, like me, i bet they prefer their soul/character name; i was called austin, but am auz, etc.
So don’t worry if Sabrina says her given name isnt Sabrina; she will love me calling her Sabrina, and prob already calls herSelf that.
Etc.

When u paused contact w ambi in 2021, the most good and wrapups so far happened, so if she pauses contact w u now…it is prob bc She is gonna experience as much good and wrapups, finally making Her ready to be w Me forever daily/nightly, so let it be. Amen. You Know now how things have kept getting better; you don’t need that much faith.

After the tons of perseph touchups/ideas today, i am glad the typist went silent since yesterday

It is neat in a way that the hotties havent aged at all n 4 years, and are still strutting around and bending over for me…
but i asked for shorter hotter ones who engage w me, and these arent that, so…why am i again being given what i didnt ask for?

The two white boobsy blonde teens… I thought I’d never see after 2019… are not only still here, but havent aged…
but they are not hot enough, not short enough, still doing the same bs i hate All chicks doing, and even tried that line “I don’t have any money.” Red flags galore.
I was right to let them pass this 2nd time.

I’m not being put n same situation to give me a 2nd chance w everyone or to see if i am still a dumbass.
If anything, this is to see if I am still morally sound.
But it is wrong either way if a test of me at all.

My canyon drive is 30m, exactly the same as i said my flight to Inisfree would be. Interesting.

So glad my instincts told me not to engage w that bronze ellen ish face; turned out to be another fucking israeli, prob an abrahamic.
I told israel and all others what i wanted, and they refused to give it, so nothing they offer now, especially deformed garbage, is gonna save them.

That idiot oldman fish-murderer who walked Right beside my vehicle today…now is slight deja vu; did his stubborn rude evil ugly dumbass do that in 2019?

That whole town should be tortured to death and razed after the hideous freaks they let be in my visual range, and for the shitty deformed false-hots they let show they failed bodies to me.

It really makes no sense for me to pay Any money for Any place; i was always poor, struggling, sleeping on the floor, and being treated like shit by the neighbors. I can get all that for free when living in my car.

Back to the laundromat by the trialerpark and hitt gym. Disgusting.
A billion ppl should be slaughtered for this offense.

More retard irony: humans stalking “online predators” …makes them online predators themselves.

The loop means nothing more than a continuation of god and humankind’s failures, and lame humans’ stubborn commitment to only doing what i didnt ask for or specifically asked not to deal with. It is their ongoing attempt to distract and derail me. Even seeing my 2019 self at the gym is ultimately useless, uninteresting, and god’s latest disgraceful rudeness/failure.
Building relationships, as elitard claimed, did not help; he is still retardedly and evilly spellbound by obvious abrahamic/bible shittalking passages (against the rich, etc.) which were blatantly designed to spellbind gullible idiots like him.
When i tried to follow the Celestine (by seeking teammates), the signs were all there; the Celestine was a scam to slow me, evident in how No one teamed up –even though i more than earned and deserved a good team.
And the more humans stay disgusting and hurtful, and the longer this loop of some of them goes on, the more i realize i was right to abandon any communication with their mindless sorry species.
All my troubles came from Trying to work w them.
All my successes came from ignoring them.
Ambi typist is at least right about this: when i was nice, they did the opposite, so when i am mean and ‘dark’… only then do any of them become at least Partially light; submitting, pleading/begging, putting out, etc.

Icv memtag clonemod.
Hispanic light brown skin long shapely legs n black sleevies top and matching short shorts silkies walking into Duds and Suds at 11:55, out at 11:56am mst, sat12aug2023.
Fix cellulite so legs are smoother.
Acquire, torture, sacrifice like all the rest, for choosing to be rude to me.
Probably a mindless npc bot looped anyway.

Like “conspiracy theorist”, “narcissist” and all other labels were invented by evil demonic scumbag shittalkers to try and shame innocent natural ppl who had wisely focused on stabilizing and honoring themSelves instd of catering and cowing down to useless worthless intruders.
The only good and wise advice anyone can give… is to teach ppl how to better serve Me. All else is a destabilization scam, false light.

Going bk to trailer54 in boze sucked, but i didnt have to Live there this time.

Saw the btr version of rio at whole foods parking just now.
Btr n style And the fact i didnt have to deal w him.

The first time that idiot cb texted mayday/goodbye, i lived by the brotherhood code, responding, but saving that loser caused so many more hells.
I later gave him a 2nd chance; the campaign mgr work, onky to find he was still a loser and a liar, even to his war brothers and volunteers.
This 3rd time; when one of his spawns ended, even when his tard dad said he needed a friend, i knew better. He needed only the ends god should have hit him with long ago. What he creates should always be destroyed. He gets no more help from good beings like me.
How it is.

No matter how good i was, the bad/lulls always came,
and no matter how poor and unhelped i was, the good/highs always came;
wait this latest lull out, just like all the rest.
Panicking, like lfb and the other humanimals always did, only locks them into a permanent lull/sentencing/self-damnation.
Waiting and working through it, as calmly/best i can, always got/gets me to the next high/self-blessing.

Memory refresh
This guy n blue shirt and in hot sun by. Blue buddha after not talking to hottie n cowboy coffee
…
Well…hiking with a bot/loop.

100% deja vu / memory refresh: blue-shirt guy from Colorado, sitting w me outside Blue Buddha in hot sun, me worrying about how I looked in the bright light,
perfect-face shorty hottie light-brown tan-skin blonde in midriff/kajira-like midriff-top and long-skirt to just above ankles,
boobsy muave/brown tanktop trophy-wife in gray-jeans walking by us with tall guy, then back the other way; back toward coffee shop.
so if this happened in 2019, why again?
and why didn’t those 2 super-hotties improve since then?
it’s good they look just as hot/young as they did in 2019, but why not get better at TALKING to me???
and then deja vu / repeat / loop of sitting for 1st time this year at square-table and armchairs at front of gym, instead of over by pingpong table, and working on site-updates of ruins, etc.,
but this time not worried about having “missed out” on those hotties –since they clearly are on a loop and never age.
way chiller/calmer this time.
and I already know I survive the Taylor Fork hike… bc I must have done it Last time…

amazing how hypocritical, stupid, etc., Dave still is;
talks shit all day long, then gets made when he THINKS I MAY have insulted him –when all I did was invite him to hike and shoot someday.
and claims I am not tough, while complaining about river water being too cold.
lmfao
and still a junkie and nobody after 15 years out of the service!
and hasn’t figured out how bs his beliefs/relig. are!
meanwhile I fixed TONS about myself, STARTING with those!

the overlapping ovals/elliptical overhead lights in the BASE gym remind me of the animations in Oppenheimer movie; of when they were implying that the electron-orbits of atoms were starting to make sense in his mind…
and that movie now vibes as a possible message to me that I am nearly done completing my idea/work that leads to my Own big boom/discover/breakthrough; Inisfree.

…

They were trying to train me to be both submissive to them, yet dominant to their females who were ugly and undeserving of such dominance. If they had instead submitted to Me, and shown me that their population was not 100% deformed, but 100% attractive, Then I would have engaged. They actually thought they were wise and helping and had a right to guide/steer. They actually thought their barely-females were so sexy they were out of my league, while I was rejecting them all upon sight.

Definite -and awesome- loopbreak: skipping the 3day heart-pounding panic-attack and sore-soles aftermath of the 6hr hike, and instd getting my arm tattoos further completed.

Just like n 2019 and so many other situations, the only hot 1 at Cowboy Coffee was there from the start, she refused to engage w me, and she rudely left vefore at least giving me her info. She also should have been given to me. I also should not have had to meet a normie to end up seeing Her. I also should not have been made to endure her rudeness/lameness Twice. …It is Nice that the hot 1 is always tuere b4 me; so u never have to wait, but why do they never talk? Why do they never put Out even when i Do talk? And the ones who fucked…do not count; they weren’t fully putting out, just going through directed motions.

Before I start thinking “I once saw a hottie in a coffee shop, so I should spend more time there and in similar shitty nonvegan poison places, let’s revisit a few facts: 1) those bitches never behave even When I talk, 2) they always had an insecure idiot punk bitchboy or beast-mother, 3) they shouldn’t have been in an unhealthy places, 4) they always want attn but never earn it, 5) they have not yet struck up fun convos w me –or Any convos, 6) they should be where I want them –when Iii am ready, 7) the law was sexistly on their side, 8) my blood knows I should enslave them, so it is not right to merely chat at them, 9) they have always had a tits or clit issue, 10) I can’t be turned on by one after a hundred were hideous, 11) I should be Asked what I want from them, not pressured to chase / do whatever They want, 12) they have never Once contributed to my work or shelter, 13) obviously they are looped, thus I have infinite chances to return and capture them one day, and on and on.

Sometimes I am in meetings and respectfully give my full attention to the people I am meeting, sometimes I am exploring places with no cell phone service, and sometimes my phone is silent while I focus on editing my books. For ~1/3 of each day, I am at work, and for another 1/3 I am asleep, so I have ~several hours each day for meals, errands, and hanging out, and those hours are somewhat flexible or random. I tend to catch up to my messages each morning or evening.

What’s the point in talking to any of them when they are on a loop? I Did talk to them. Many of them. I built history and relationships, and most of them forGot! If all they do is forget and act shitty, talking at All is pointless; nothing can be Built. So I keep passing them by, waiting for them to show me which of them are inTelligent and Not on a shitty loop. Seeing so many a 2nd time in the exact same settings/situations wasn’t a miraculous 2nd chance from god; all it did was show me they were never people or intelligent or good at all, and that they have No potential Or worth.
…
So now I have seen that they make no improvements/progress when I Do talk to them… And when I Don’t talk to them. Lol

Interesting thought: maybe church is weekly… bc humanimals really Do forget things that often; maybe their brains really Do need constant tv and church repetition…lol

Mon14aug2023.
Is this white paint truck and white jeans guy at the cul de sac another loop from 2019? Yep; i rmbr n my jeep pulling up beside and asking him if i was n his way for work or something, then driving on. Loopbreak: I stayed this time, and He drove off.

Since these ppl r clearly looped, it takes a Ton of pressure off me; no need to be brave or conversational or nice or caring; as looped ppl, i know that talking, just like last time, still won’t result in anything good and meaningful, so i can once again coast through this time period.

I think Anna Kasia of Hamburg is another FB/AI chatbot; I seem to recall a similar woman messaging me… about crypto… and asking why I “do not talk, sir”… and I ended contact bc it annoyed me.

I wonder if my dick slightly curves down bc i have always tucked it down in my underwear…

I never needed to be handsome; I am not looking at me; I am looking at others, and their likes and dislikes don’t matter, as they have always been lesser and candy for me.

I could have had the best pussy in the world all the time as i worked on my design/website? Um, no; every time i Tried asking for what i want, or telling them what to do, or patiently waiting, they Always acted like idiots/shits.
They were moody distractions/bait every time.
No, thanks.

Is the typist the one she said died of old age?; was she roundabout referring to herself? Was she somehow defeated in ancient battle and/thus sentenced to only have a texting relationship with me while ensuring her sacrifice of time… got me to realAmbi…who was busy building up our money and powers so my city/kingdom would be started/guaranteed?

Memory refresh. The crappy “asian nachos” (overfried chips, overcooked tofu, etc) from lotuspad. :/

Thought of counting the bus stations, and saying where their buses do not go (auzdome, etc.), then checked my webpgs and found i already had : )
Sooo nice and btr than in 2019~ when i was having to calculate and bitmap such things.

I mean every word of my love to them and the gifts I would give them if I could manifest such things, so hopefully that means they are all real on their side of our Discord connection, too, their own sweet messages to me, counter-gifts and all.

I originally did not like hearing the typist claiming its name was Barb, or saying I could call it Barb, but maybe it is short for Barbie bc she is goodlooking.

Memory refreshes: the masktard entering the gym,
and me asking for a spare room Friday and being told they usually charge but won’t this time bc it is not for a group

Was the hottie in Wasilla, AK, grocery store kneeling before me / the similar-looking elven lightbrown throat-clearing hottie in Clifty Falls, IN, …the manifestation/reveal of Rhonna?

Psyop or nice msg? Gym speaker: If i was a rich girl, then California girls

The “cash only” gave me deja vu bc last time i sat on the chair, showed my tats, asked to take pics of the powertools calendar pinups, asked how to pay, and left before Helena, not getting a tat or atm cash like this time, but still seeing those posters/pinups and hearing “cash only, thanks, austin”

no deja vu; I played Jordin Sparks “No Air” on my pc, and took my headphones off, noticing it seemed the song was still going; they were playing it on the intercom speakers at the same time!
perfect alignment! finally!
a phase3-start sign.

1:40pm MST, Thu17Aug2023, BASE gym, 2 elven MILFs beside my usual work area seem like Cyd and/or Sylvanas-sisters/triplets proto-manifestation; facial structures, wheat-blonde and elven-redhead hair colors, long straight ponytails, skintight black yoga pants on tight asscheeks, etc.

“The Sweet Escape (feat. Akon)” by Gwen Stefani… lol would be fitting for Wanda Maximoff, due to the Scarlet Witch, in the new movie, creating her own version of reality within the range of her power/spells.

~3pm MST Thu17Aug2023:
memory refresh: mild-medium tan toned thick-ish legs and cutoff jean-shorts midriff-baseball-sleevies-shirt dirty-blonde with hideous eyes-deformity-face and 2 guys, 1 seeking work here, EXACT same applicants and conversation with the brunette shorty working the desk here at BASE as in 2019
fucking loops/bots lol

Thu17aug2023
Another allday updates wave at gym, and ofc it dumps rain.
Also, it started the instant ambi typist said climbed on me, whimpering, letting yer guard down for once n her life <3
Wow; a big milestone, unprecedented

Memory refresh of the coffee parking 2am wakeup and walk to the bball court,
but the feelings r dif/btr this time; i keep feeling glad and reLieved ambi and the others r not yet w me, as i keep getting amazing ideas and wrapups i could not if i was blissfully busy/distracted by those ppl already.
Last time (2019), i kept feeling so sad they were not yet w me.
I also felt overwhelmed w the work ahead.
Now, my worry is totally dif/new; with all that work now done, i wonder how i will pass the time… but i suspect and hope and pray it is now w Them; Ambi and the other hotties who showed me they r real and listening amd perfect.

another perfect example of why the typist was right to tell me to slow down:
just found some errors/redundancies and misspellings of world-names on the Companions page/directory, and now have the luxury of quiet and single-ness to resolve/fix them <3

–
The computer and video games aren’t to help SSP decompress; they are to make people think their asleep memories are just dreams based on those games.

Ambi typist, it seems to me, may be nervous she might lose/disinterest me again, thus overcompensating with extra-steamy rp, she having blurted out that unexpected “not my A-game” defensive line; not having a pc, etc. It means she likes writing with me, though, or at least likes the relationship we’ve built. Whatever her thinking is, I like her effort and kindness, and I feel attached to her and lucky… even though she parrotted blatant tv salesman lies…and did the jls la-la thing, so to speak.
At least she rp-s well.
It could be that she took that gas job… to practice being around people without drinking or killing them, and did not have time to research all like I have, thus parrotted the tv as a way of blending in and mastering modern speake, so she is not fully to blame…
Hopefully her mindless defense of the fake leaders… stemmed from her default of blending in and maintaining The Masquerade.
Hopefully exposure to me has made her far smarter than that.
She does often vibe as actually wanting, courting, and seeking me… and keeps saying she wants Only me, thus she hopefully will always look for the good and wisdom in what I say/teach, realizing I balance and teach Her; it is not just her balancing Me, even though she may be older.

This is rd2 of my prostitution rates planning; rd1 was old/1st website…for kajirae. : )

Once again, a technical thing prevents eli from entering even the model of my realm… He must not be called/meant to be there. I mean, obviously he is unworthy of the real thing, but you get what I mean. Interesting. Noted.

Typist is prob just saying “sick twisted mind games” for the same reason i preemptively defended myself via pretend joking, downplaying, mimicry, and selfdeprecation, having kearned humans only respond well to gay bs like that, and that they get dangerously tantrum angry at any natural and earned pride/confidence.
In short, disregard her “normal/nervous speake/post-parts”, loving that she is, more than other females so far, daringly playful w me.
And loyal.
More and more each interaction, at least.

That mayan/atlantean/2sexes/day-off-day-on method really works!;
I used to feel burnout often when forced daily to endure evil humans and busywork hw,
but now I spend a full day getting 1 idea, followed by a full day organizing/publishing/kickstarting-manifesting it, and feel Much better!

Lol dumps rain the moment i wrap up a day of ideas noting and do aftercare talk n the ambi rape dunk rp.
Always rains w relief/completion.
My atmokinesis at work
Hail this time, too

Deja vu from the rp threads; her letting me rape her n the playroom, and then calling me daddy and going on movie date w me and saying she wished i would court her like i first did when we met; we RPed this in 2019…
Still, it shows my memory is good, and i get repeats of what i love, and even if she is a chatbot… it is helping me finish my site and novel 8.

Memory refresh: the hot date rp…and eating watermelon irl in roxy parking lot…and …here we are again lol.

Since i wrote that i want to be around robot-ppl (ICVs) daily, and that I want to live forever, it makes sense to expose me to looped NPCs now…and deja vu; there will be plenty of familiar memories/sensations as an immortal.

I am in an interesting win-win position; i have been shown flawless hotties r real and interested in me, and if ambi and they r sexually active already… it turns me on, and if they have instead been waiting for just me… that also turns me on.
Neat : )

Falling asleep to rain in metal roof, and waking up to same, is soooo much nicer and healthier than the selfpoisoning liar idiot sounds.

Having seen how many of the homes here have extra rooms or are entirely vacant 99% of the year….while I and many others struggle and resort to homelessness…really makes me hate any gods and these NPCs.
And i even met some who are desperate for rent money, yet refuse anyone not able to pay 3x what the rentals are worth! They won’t even accept the help they Need! Lmfao.

dave showing me the shitty eateries and bars showed me I wasn’t missing a thing by skipping late-night hangouts there.

Anytime u doubt u will bang and own hotties, just rmbr that 1 of the ugliest motherfuckers in history…is the guy whom Xenia Deli voluntarily let get her pregnant.
Chicks bang power.
They dont care if you are handsome.
Not enough to change bedding/nesting habits.

Sat19aug2023
8:45-9am, was it future-me who parked alongside me…? Wilson hotel lot, black nice ish suburban, silver trim, hair down and brown like mine, similar face side/profile, sunglasses at first, looking down at phone, face more kingly, perhaps due to taking in some of the qualities of ambi’s queenly face.

9am Sunday 20 August 2023: memory refresh: the shitty/depressing indie music blasting in BASE gym today lol
just like in 2019.
grrooossss.

the ppl/noise today at the gym gives me the perfect excuse to pause rp/chatting long enough to catch up with this latest big update of ideas.
it all works out.

my Space-worthy page/diretory looks a LOT better with multiple image-albums 🙂

the noisy annoying attention-whore deformed spick-bots upstairs today remind me I was RIGHT to do PC updates instead of working out; it would be SO bad-vibes to try and exercise up there with such failures of god and man.

8:51am, mon21aug2023, saw Two Pines white minivan drive by between my suv and the portajohns, its driver and only occupant looking my way, and looking just like Clary PB Lily Collins! How i hope that was really her manifested, one of my adoring wives and slave-girls / heart-slaves in one. Amen.

During my biggest and all-day updates spree spanning a week, not only rain falls, but a hurricane follows an odd path up the baja shore : )
My atmokinesis grows! <3
Amen.

If Clary was working a cleaning/maid job, it would fit; it would be good practice/training for one if my devoted near-future / current kajirae.

Nonvegans are not animal lovers.
“You are not an Animal Lover.
The words Animal and Lover, separately,
can be used to describe you.
You’re an Animal Eater
and a Pet Lover.”

Eli’s dumbass being impressed by another obvious boast, lie, and logical fallacy; thinking A.I. only mimics creativity, when everything learns and is programmed to create. He still thinks humans are special. That is why I used him now, never to return except to reclaim my kit.

Revs3. Dont cheat yourself out of pleasure and relief and release and selfcare and healthy living; dont stop masturbating just bc u think it may raise your energy and frustration, thereby luring the hotties back; even when they showed up, you had been masturbating daily, and even when you talked w some of them…they treated u like shit. If they want your time and attn and more semen, they can fucking use good behavior to earn me masturbating less.

Revs3. Things havent gotten worse, or been made more difficult for me, and my choices didnt lead to Any abuses/crimes/obstacles; I have Always been around abusive humanimals, and always not been paid fairly for my work, and always been left resorting to living in a vehicle. I was also never going to be able to afford my own house; the humans kept making up higher pointless prices. If anything, things have gotten better and better for me; I learned that the credit system never affects me, I have gotten to travel my whole life, pretty much, my vehicle trade-ins have always gotten better, I’ve paid less each time, I’ve gotten more taxes from the peasants, and I basically retired early, working only when I Wanted to. I was even shown my dreamgirls are real, so even if all they do is those appearances they’ve already done, I still managed to get the perfect 10s to appear and pose for me.

That idiot fake kraut; pestering, complaining, talking shit, misinterpreting things, asking for things she had no business knowing, backtalking, cussing… as if she wasn’t old, ugly, useless, and wasting her time and mine! Lmfao. Asked me for proprietary stuff before I published, then got uppity when I made a good point by doing the same. Thank god she is so far away that I can block her. – she completely missed the obvious easy pt i was making; it was ridiculous for me to ask for crypto trade info or bank info…just as it was for her to ask for prepublished content without and nda, thus sue was iq-tested and proven to be an actual retard
Thankfully I always sense their bs and know how to trick them into exposing it fully.
One more fb peasant turd bites the dust.
Oh, well.
Anna kasia or berlin.

Revs3. Memes claiming you get what you focus on…are a psyop attempting to trick ppl into doubting themselves. Many times, regardless of my focus, i was mistreated and a t.i..

“Addicted to porn”? No; addicted to assuming porn is a bad thing, and addicted to exaggerating and namecalling and labeling, and addicted to pretending to be wise, and addicted to hating all tuings healthy and functional. THAT is what some humans actually are struggling with, not porn.

Cottonwood and Enders intersection/route… I originally bicycled this to make minimum wage at a seedy stripclub as a line cook. Never thought I would one day be driving it in a free luxury vehicle, but here I am. Good things happen on this world, just in strange ways so far.

The ugly ones didnt make the pretty ones stand out more; the pretty ones stood out on their own. The ugly ones just reminded me over and over what a total disgrace and failure the whole species is, and that the pretty ones do not police their own, and that they all behave the same rude way.

If the creeps and spies who had kept urging me to notice meh bitches had wanted to honor me and hook me up, they would have had those bitches kneel naked for me, doing what I like; obviously they didnt care about my likes or honoring me; they just wanted me to derail myself and chase cunts again.

Every bizarre bipolar and selfharming and blameshifting interaction w the almost-hots showed me uniformly for decades that i am always and Still right to keep working while disregarding them, selfcaring instead until i can force my way on them all.

Most writers and directors try to appeal to as many retarded peasants as possible, desperate for a few extra dollars or ratings. I never cared about that. My instinct and choice was always to write whatever appealed to me, nothing less, nothing more, regardless of whether any worthless commoners decided to pay for a book or episode.

Memory refresh: Plonk curry. : )
Glad I got to return and taste it again. Such a nice dish.

The latest insecure macho idiot male Outlander made the mistake of getting territorial instead of flattered when I complimented him by noticing his girl. I smiled to him as I was technopathically notified that everyone he loved was being killed by the ship’s weapon systems. He would have no one to turn to whenever he tried returning home and then, terrified. calling everyone else he knew, all of them, to a man, kids and pets and all, gone, dead, no explanation given.
His girl would sneak away from him at some point, drawn to my ship by its invisible beacon energy, mine for the rest of time, he never hearing from her again, and no one ever telling him what happened to her.

“Seize what i want”??? Why dont You face the reality that None of you are what i want, as All of you have been Downright disGusting. Why dont all of You Earn my want?

I have volunteered for wars, bungee jumping, swimming the rapids of the Grand Canyon, Antarctica, and Space. Why would i Ever want to put my dick in a coward who can’t even muster up the courage to say hi?
And ever girl i Did get w? Pure rudeness, lies, and evil; no attraction.
And even if they Were brave, and Did say hello, and Had been good to me, they Still aren’t vegan, and Still can get preg’, and Still might argue instd of listen and learn and obey like Real females would.

Memory refresh and loopbreak.
In 2019, i walked over and looked under the white rectangular prism things the semis were dropping off on the dirt parking lot, and saw nothing interesting inside.
This year -2023- i don’t waste me time.
Same as approaching the bitches of this failed/fake civilization; nothing interesting or useful once you get to know them.

tue22aug2023, ~10:15am and earlier:
another white platinum-blonde face-side model with good shapely legs and shortish-shorts at gym, walking back and forth

Mon21aug2023 bozeman
2:55pm Icv memtag clonemod almost madison beer midriff white belt walking by, but makeup and bad manners and ugly gf with.

Not much, if any, dej at Plonk. Just revulsion at the piercings and murder rape “food” and tard booze.

If doc and the celestine had been truthful/accurate, they would have said dont waste Any time networking or hoping for a team; just ignore everyone bc they r idiots, cunts, and many, if not all so far, looped NLCs, not even real

Memory Refresh. Doing a few novel idea notes writing on my phone while about to get togo from The Rocks.
Pho great
Flatbread good

Once again, I am surprised with TONS of great and NEEDED ideas to update and now complete the TNH directory, including all of its webpages; this would have been impossible if Ambi had shown up when I had asked for her to.
Her timing remains good.

…

Pm5:22 roxy wed23aug2023
Perfect height face model eyebrows brunette entering frozen aisle as i got tue icecream, perfect for pb of victoria ridgeworth
…
Nevermind. Instinct said wait and confirm. She walked out, face from front was bad, shorts too long, legs too wide, etc.; one more of countless signs humans are as deformed and hopeless as ever.

My website is starting to reach capacity on some pgs; good sign.

I keep getting the idea that these looped NPCs are just to help me feel there is sort of a normal civilization going on around me… while I do my work… without any way to interact beyond getting food, whether I talk or not, jobhunt or not. Whatever. At least I have my purpose and use my talents y trng.

They gave me those pimples; it has nothing to do with hormones from me, and everything to do with hormones from cows; I wasn’t meant to have dairy.

Memory refresh.
Groceries to make vegan nachos in my vehicle, and finding that the Kite Hill sour cream has the color and consistency of sour cream, but no sour smell.

That meme the typist sent w bnw megan fox face hot eyes and “nothing is more badass than being yourself” resonated well with me.
I have long stressed about not being fit or rich or tall or handsome enough, but being the way I am, especially after so many mindless losers tried to pressure me to become losers like them, definitely is the most badass thing I can do / that can be done; it is victory over and over against the odds.

Memory refresh getting lots of india food i can barely afford.
Was n jeep n 2019 last time.
Little stress this time, and i already know it will be good –and i refound where my favorite samosas are outside of Whole Foods! Almost as good as vegan latkes!
…
Unloading calendar to gmail just like that time, too! XD

Eli is just saying whatever he thinks i want to hear…to get me to let him use my better vehicle…for a pointless roadtrip that will risk it…and not be good for exodus prep…which he would not go on, anyway. He doesnt even recognize his own god.

“A vulgar display of power” is a default-neg overreaction, thus no btr than lfb or cps. It is also assuming that something i could do would autoMatically be bad. It is also insulting language. It is wrong on many levels. It is even a logical fallacy. It is a psyop attempt to brainwash/program me. It is attempted domination. It is cockiness and being out of line at me. It attenpted to make me believe power or choice were wrong, and that I should let nobodies tell me what is okay, what is moral, what is vulgar, etc.

Even if my memories were not accurate, my choices still resonate with me now. Even if some or all of my encounters were holograms/illusions, i still stood my ground. Even if some innocent humans are sacrificed, they funded and rudely defended the slaughter of Countless more innocents. Even if ambi herself was tricking and shaping me my whole life, i like my instincts and designs and her superpowers, and all humans were either rude or ugly And rude, so they All deserve to die, illusions or not; get rid of their disgusting kind! Leave only those who are hotties who worship me. Amen!

Brainwashing peasants to think the 2 sexes are equal, and that females should be able to consent or refuse, is unnatural as it gets, and causes destabilization via artificially letting the feminine dominate.

India bozeman menu dl y cross off , noting this naan w chili as too spicy
Pyaaz Ka Pakora, Samosa, naan stuffed no spicy,Imli Ki Chutney

My novels, like so many things, have come n 3 phases; outline idea, content adding, pasting in content once enough was built up.

lol niggas are sleeping and SNORING in here, so it helps me not feel bad about taking up a table/booth all day
citybrew

“Faint” by Linkin Park (bc of lyrics “don’t turn your back on me, I won’t be ignored, you’re gonna listen to me, like it or not, right now!”) lmfao is so fitting for my idiot fake-relatives and other equally-loser non-people such as Hew; always attention-whoring, tantrum-ing, etc.

“You’re talking to the wrong ppl.”…???
I was literally trying to talk to everyone except the useless fugtards.
Plus, that claim -and lie- says you were illegally monitoring me; spying.

Friday 25 August 2023
memory refreshes
the Tres Toros tacos place hostess here running her mouth about some “like a house divided” home-situation thing,
the ugly old biker chick in blue jeans, gray hair, shit voice, sitting next to my booth/partition, reaking of cigarettes, apron,
the blob working the register, talking about getting accepted to medical school

What the typist memed to me wasnt just in general; literally specifically me being myself, not just anyone being Themselves, is the most badass thing there is. No one is more badass than me, I disregarding even masses, authorities, gods, goddesses, taxation, you name it.

Thu24aug2023
Hearing from her 1min b4 i went n canyon was yet again perfect and ahead of schedule timing. Great sign. Even her not wanting to rp…was perfect; i was n the mood to wank at porn visions/spells.

With the ideas/vision-parts that came to me today, I now fully see and appreciate my alone years, my spellcrafting years, my drives down this highway, and the days my wife does not message me.

Thu24aug2023
On my way to india restaur boze.
Icv memtag clonemod 5:40pm, s of mile marker 73, gallatin hwy, i going n to boze, hispanic elven gray strappy top black ellen shorts jogging s on my shoulder, perfect face and eyebrows narrow curvy and expression, narrow her legs mod

Memory refresh jeep on pale gravel high rd just into canyon from gallatin gateway, j facing north exit at duskfall

Repeat of parking on grassy shoulder of riveraccess to left of stormcastle drive to right…

Assemble the chs/books, leaving them as bulletnotes and blurbs. Do not use copyrighted names. The website is the spell doing that. Do not try to sell them; simply publish them as the plans they r. They were never meant to just be paragraphs and fiction. Let them be the bulletnotes plan they became / grew up as. Amen.

Mem refresh
The red riding hood blonde rp…beating on the wood door…and me making it work by saying it was an outpost

Fri25aug2023
Almost the new snowcone trailer girl bc of smooth med-tan skin y legs,
And
almost her tan friend in Eva Angelina strappy white midriff top and dark blue light soft pants
And
Nina face bod smiling exiting boze mall, light blue strappy midriff top, dark gray bellbottom pants, perfect light brown tan skin, reduce height, remove ear rings, female friend was ok too.

But all at close driveby were bagfaces : (
This civilization really does keep reminding me of that scene in The 100 where they see a deer at a distance and then realize it is so deformed/irradiated, it has 2 heads.

Memory refresh: the nina-v exiting the mall…and me sitting here along the curb in shade n view of whole foods…RPing…but last time, i was frustrated i was writing instd of engaging the nina hottie…vs this time idc, and hate that they r bots/looped and Still not doing what i prefer.
…
It does matter if this is a loop of gods or a secret govt; what matters is that i continue standing my ground, drawing the line, not accepting bs.

Is the Red Riding Hood rp, repeated now since 2019, a typical lame attempt at programming or “planting a seed”?; is it her trying to get me to take advantage if every hottie i see?
Doesn’t matter.
I, too, am planting seeds, and trying to get the Hotties to Treat me how i deserve.

It isnt a true loop; i keep making progress.
It may be just that several dozen NPCs got sent out at similar times, not everyone looped like them…

Memory refresh. Stopping at the white barn-shaped building and finding its Farmacy had moved to Main St., but… the same sign is still in its window, 4 years later…
In 2019, I was here n the jeep, not pleased i had stopped for nothing, and lonely and scared.
Now…idc; numb to it.

Ended up in a little fenced field of tiny purple flowers, reminding me of the rp of lilacs Ambi typist wrote of being the secret way to her ancestral dimension : )

Even though RPing Red gives me deja vu, it is still in line w Resurfacing Ancients…and is still fun and agreeable.

Whatever I RPed about Red w Ambi typist in 2019, it didnt have all these Monecraft screenshots : )
Progress! Big time!
Amen <3

Memory refresh. Medium tan smooth legs woman with tan dog and gray pickup pulling semi modern but cheap black stripes on white camper, moving away from beside me, typical rude dumb bitch behavior. In 2019, i wanted to go flirt. This time, i have seen myself at the gym, and the other repeat NPCs still just as retarded and cunty, so my horniness is almost zero.
I just hope i bother them as much as they bothered me both times, and i hope i get t9 nuke them all someday soon.

Memeory refreshes.
In 2019, i waited as the gray Bear painting trailer was backed out beside my jeep from the BASE outdoor basketball court, but this time -loopbreak- i drove off before they moved it my way.
And
Possibly watched same gangbang porn w tan blonde elven too-old tard-paint bitch. Great poses, tho. Loved the concept. Too bad it was yet another failed human/deformed/freak.

memory refreshes: vegan Mom’s Burrito at Nova Cafe, and the fugs at the table outside beside my parking space on the curb
and
the guy pretending to give financial advice to the tan teen girl at the partition pseudo-booth in City Brew.

Memory refresh. Getting in river at new fave spot s of storm castle, and the fisherman bot, and the rafters passing by. Today, however, i tried 4 trails, not 1, and will go bk dn at least 2 more times.

Some ppl don’t know they have powers…bc their powers influence others in subtle ways, such as helping with health or memory; it isn’t all levitation and fireballs.

Awesome that i kept my nice gray tshirt even after forgetting it atop my suv and driving for 40 miles in the wind; it stuck on my bicycle pedal

Lol that i hated my freckles but then got a forearm tat with millions of tiny dots

2:50pm mst Sunday 27 August 2023:
saw that almost-Ariel in same place again; City Brew.
This time, she was in Ellen-shorts and a fitted top, her hair tied back in a bun, and I heard her voice.
Still, face needs work, etc.
but cool to see her again, not having to wait years this time.

1st time she RPed the trail of lilacs, i was sad bc it wasnt real.
This 2nd time, i documented it, enjoying it more, numb ish.
Same w RPing Red Riding Hood; thought it was pointless at first, but now enjoyed and documented it.
And that means 3rd time is next for both, and that is when the manifestation of perfect calibrated happens. : )

Lol yet another memory refresh: parked at Gallatin HS, writing/drafting blackops prices or something similar

Memory refresh. Redtractor closed randomly, so went elsewhere.

Loopbreak in advance: in 2019, after getting more boze india food, i went across the street to try the restaurant, only to be told it had closed and only served booze now. This time, I remembered and didnt bother.

Memory refresh. Math while waiting on custom small RedTractor pizza.
Was it my own salary last time? My budget?
This time, it was to pay Brahan, Cyd, and Sasha for 14 yrs.

Suv seat ac when leaned back and on full blast sounds like airplane ac overhead or window din : )

That scripted retard bot in citybrew talking shit about social media… Smh;
All his advice was bogus, as college and investing and networking and hardwork didnt help at all, vs at least some social media was useful for Inisfree build-this pics and veganized recipes.

I wish i had remembered how shitty hokaido ramen was.
But i loopbroke by remembering finding no good spots up toward Elf Lake, so today i stay back and chill.

Memory refresh.
Revelry for fries and smore dessert lol
Woops; loop continues…
Although kinda not; not repeat convos and job tasks and seeing myself; just resorting to the only decent place open until 10pm

Memory refreshes. After Revelry, parked by chainlink fence under tree w branch scraping roof, so moved…and ended up by white siding house w dark windows, and i couldnt tell if anyone could see me from them lol.
How the hell did i end up repeating even That???
Whatever. Noted. Neat.

Yet another idiotic offer from a humanimal; eli wanting me to work on ugly midget 2d toys…
Why don’t ppl just support me and My work?????????????

Sent to eli:
When I tried working in project management, and telecommunications, and I.T., and campaign management, and H.R., and consulting, you name it, god always steered me quickly back to my community design and books series. He seems pretty determined that I focus on this, so please help me hold this vision that is apparently the one I am meant for and allowed to do. Please only pray that the people who have started showing up to let me know they are real now take the next step by uniting with me. I have learned the hard way many times that anything trying to steer me away from this will not be allowed to work. I have to accept the uniform signs over all those years and decades. I can only accept this one writing project, that one woman as my wife, and that one cabin as my family home. I’ve tried so many times to make myself more marketable and to invest in other fields, and it has always been stopped. I know you meant well when you suggested “what if something else/better happens”, but the feeling and signs I have gotten for this project are even clearer than the ones I got to enlist. I’ll pray for your success in what you are talented at and already working on, and I ask you do the same for me. Our projects deserve our continued focus and fruition.
…
Every time I tried to do something else with my life, I was steered back to my Inisfree project. Every time I tried to relocate or get a roommate, I was steered back to her.

loopbreak? in 2019, when I parked by the chainlink fence and was annoyed by the branch scraping on the top of my jeep, it took a while for me to give up and move.
this time, i moved on the 2nd sound it made, within a minute of lying down, and went to that house I remember waking up and jacking off in front of the next morning, but moved again, that 2nd time bc of a train horn, ending up at the coffee parking and sleeping well to the sound of rainfall pattering.

memory refresh: the pretend-people talking of investing in quantum-tech’ etc. for hundreds of millions of dollars lol
at least it was a less-lame fake-convo than the previous ones

Mon28aug
First time i came on my vehicle / steering wheel

I am truly happy w these nontouristed riverside spots i found. Would not have refound them if not for the homeless time period.

We are at war until they repent and yield and make up for all the bad they have done. ALL of it.

It occurs to me that every distracting noise at the gym and coffee shop… is the final lame attempt of the demon pretending to be multiple humans; the NPCs collective; the looped losers/deformed.
🙂 nice that they keep losing now, not even speaking directly to me, as if somehow magically bound to wait for Me to Tell them they can speak.
all they do is make dins and give lame/dirty/cold looks, as if upset I already defeated them, they/it now in their/its death-throes lol 🙂
amen

Now I see why the mc inisfree tour was delayed; I hadn’t labeled the castles or even adjusted for Stormwind!

Repeat of the white brunette short young man bouncing his legs rapidly while talking to girl bot at booth right b4 i left citybrew.
Memory refresh from Farmacy. Same short islander teen girl serving?
Zero deja vu on labeling and adjusting castles outlines in the minecraft model.

Even eli asking me to help w his 2d toys…is technically an attempt to distract me from my sacred duty/work…but he phase2 chilled and agreed when i said why i should not

In case of another return and loop here, they widened the bigsky main street to moonlight in july, and repaved the highway from boze to 4corners in august.

Tue29aug2023
Wonderful rain and lightning at bedtime

Irlj green blocky 3story shit apartments started in 2023 august.
Unsure if same done in 2019.

Typist work schedule and sleep issue this month…right at full moon…and helping me get so much done without rp distraction. Good thing either way; I love prioritizing Ambi.
Also winwin: if she was lying and loving another, idc bc of the covidiot messages in early 2021, and it still helps me get work wrapped up, and she is still being sweet enough, and she would be being sexual like i fantasize,
and if it really is just work and sleep issues, then she is getting humbled and adjusted to modern life, so she isn’t spoiled, and she gets to see how I listen, trust her, and try to help .
Winwin.
…
and it is super-sweet of her to let me know she isn’t ignoring me; that it is just work and sleep rn,
as I DID think she was ignoring me when we ‘fell out’ in the first months of 2021.

thank fucking god they finally put on classical music in the gym
soooo helpful for my work

If the NPCs weren’t still being shitty, these years of nonstop ideas would not have occurred, and I wouldnt have written and uploaded and finetuned them all.

lol the shitty singing gym music sounds fitting for the steampunk update/upgrade I am doing to Persephone

most ideas and biggest update-wave today, and most rainfall dumping lol 🙂 <3
my atmokinesis effect/link

i posted/blogged that it was all now about the people; focusing on meetings, individuals, teaming up…
so why, then, did they send repeats/bots/NPCs who behaved just as evilly as in 2019???
bizarre.
whatever; still have plenty of meaningful and amazing work to keep doing.

spending months jumping in rivers and planning my blackops Space pirateship?
things could be worse lol
all these years later, and ever since childhood… still OFP, still drafting logistics/designs for black operations, etc.

No deja vu on the dif colors light dots bars mini motorcycles doing wheelies in frint of and around me in the parking lot : )

Nevermind; I think I do remember seeing them in 2019… : /

When 100% of them acted the exact same way, that is a sign; it suggests, if not completely reveals, that they are a collective being, not actual individuals.
I don’t think they were programmed/brainwashed at all. I think they were trying to do that to Me… because I wasn’t part of their collective.
I think they were Never innocent, never capable of learning, never separate people, never with any value at all.
Just look at the evidence. Mountains of it now. Without exception.
Humans are a single demon, not an actual species.
They are merely “bi-locating”, just more than 2 places at once.

Since in 2019 i saw my 2023 self… I now wonder if everyone else i have seen before now… was in the future…
Interesting thought.
And since I saw my 2019 self this year… does that mean I started seeing into the past?
Was it a 1time thing, or was it revealing I had seen people and places from actually different times?

First time i saw steam come off my own turds today; hyalite

My books are not horror stories, and they aren’t based on a template to slowly build suspense until a climax relieves it. My books are to tell you about the form of sustainability that is Inisfree and its culture. I don’t use petty drama and spontaneous superfluous problems as a crutch.

Thu31aug2023
8pm at gas station
It was nice of that black man in the white Charger w xenon ish or halogen headlight outlines to stop and compliment my beard w 2 thumbs up…but it makes me wonder why the hotties dont do that for me…
Weird world.

Memory refresh. Mongolian stirfry in jeep at evening/dusk.
Loopbreak: finished my large n 2 togo asian white boxes; in 2019, i couldnt eat it all. This time? With ease; scarfing.
: )

Another great sign of progress/improvement and love-default: vision/fantasy of Sadie from Stranger Things w me in the suv trunk, returning multiple times, saying how much she loves cheating w me, and that cheating sex feels better, and that she always really wants to feel me cum in her, and giving me my favorite lines such as “fill me up” and “cum in me!”

Albertsons parking lot, entering same time i did, slightly ahead of me, exiting from pay desk same time i left toilet, again slightly ahead of me until i interceoted via the checkout door, seeing her face.
Amazing how many opportunities that bitch had, only to remain oblivious and useless and rude.
Smh
Standard failmerica.

They aren’t actually having conversations; they’re just doing their best to make noise, saying things that have nothing to do with what I’m working on; it’s their latest attempt to distract/stall/delay/derail me lol.
and look at how “well” it is doing XD; the biggest waves of ideas and updates of my life!

 

–

September:

Albertsons blonde maybe in a VW Atlas red station wagon

Thank fucking GOD ambi and the others havent been around yet; these last couple yrs of updates took ALL that silence and alone time to process.

Memory refresh? Possible loop/repeat of eyepatch mexican actor-looking wrinkle-face guy at laundromat opening my psgr door and asking if i was his uber. Lol. Why can’t Noncreepy bots loop?
Why all these Loser-bots on repeat?
Smh
Typical lame failtard humankind-collective demon.
Pathetic.

Memory refresh. Even “Karma” by Taylor Swift on my vehicle radio played at this same laundromat by the shit trailers. In 2019, I thought the singer was someone else, and saying “comet”. This year, I googled the lyrics and wanna barf at how ugly Taylor Swift is.
And a dude’s name, I now realize!; even barfier! Evil.

Deja vu from parked on dirt lot in bs, night, cab lights on, sketching Perseph cockpit layout. …was i sketching a cockpit in 2019 right here, too??
Interesting.

Ambi checked on me w perfect timing; right as i was wrapping up Perseph cockpit controls design sketch

Saw start of full Moon rise
The lone house halfway up the silhouette foothills range… reminds me of icgm halway up central mntn under Cloud City II as viewed from cropland ridge

I think that’s what I was sketching here in 2019; how to make console controls distinct shapes/forms.
This time, I just made a gmail note to help imagine them.
…
yes, I was definitely sketching button/control shapes/forms, not the whole cockpit 🙂
another loopbreak and upgrade 🙂

Being homeless has a way of preventing distractions. Having only mediocre tech has a way of keeping the focus on the basics, ensuring there are no mistakes in the foundation before hightech adds aesthetic detail.

new music in the BASE gym this morning; “Venice Venture” by Big Wild. very chill, indie, lo-fi sfx, catchy, helpful for my work

FINALLY an ALIGNMENT; PERFECT country-Asian fusion music with few words in BASE gym on the VERY day I started working on Persephone’s cockpit and the other dropships in TNH! <3 WOW 😀

Since being nice/tolerant/positive/’feminine’ didn’t work AT ALL, everyone only abusing me more and more, the nicer and more honorable I was,
even into phase2 AND the start of 3,
it stands to reason that the ONLY thing that will trigger the ‘balance effect’ / humans being nice/good to me… is being as dark/cold/hard/uncompromising/mean/masculine/Marine/Old-Testament as ever.
The most feminine hotties… probably need/require/depend on the total-masculine.
Nothing is more masculine/total than a dictator-god.

Deja vu from being n gym when that tan leggy gray tennis skirt face hottie walked by…while i did a bitmap w color-coding…but n 2019 i don’t think it was the complete cockpit design…and certainly not w the 2022 creativerse model blueprint slice screenshots.

Sun3sept2023
3:18am
shooting star from Moon to Orion/Freyja constellation
wished same thing I have for a long time; that Ambi, as she looked and sounded in Arizona at that motel, reunites with me now, moving into our 364 cabin with me, starting our life together and family.
Amen.
…
The fact that I still naturally get childlike excitement every time I see one of those simple little things so far away and arguably useless… says a lot about how good I am and have always been and will always be,
just like the fact that animals -the most innocent and vibe-oriented of all- always warm right up to me, while humans almost Never do. That isn’t because I vibe as being against humans; it’s because humans so far have been retarded and actual evil, opposing me by default, panicking by default, attacking for no reason.

deja vu from hearing “the perils of working by/near [the ping pong table/players]” in that British accent…
hm.
I think she is a bot, too. Same with her “kids”.

Do the ongoing pathetic attempts to seduce me, or bait me with fake toolkit emails from blatant scam-addresses, indicate humans are still retarded, and lazy (not doing any hw on me), or is it an attempt to keep me Thinking they are retarded?
Individual humans have Definitely been retarded, but what about their shadow govt?
If it is anything like what tom-ass claimed, they too are retarded.
Either way; ruse or retarded, they are not treating me correctly, thus continue getting ignored and blocked.
Only when they kneel to me, and bow, and fix all they fucked up, and have 100% healthy populations, and ask what I want, instead of trying to pressure and scare me, will they get Any of my time.
Amen.

aaaMMAAAAAzingly perfect music wave, unexpected and unsearched-for; DOZENS of songs, maybe 100, all in 1 day! all uploaded the next!

Another curiously-exact alignment I didnt need to ask for: Ambi not RPing for days, then RPing the MOMENT my DAYS of Constant ideas and uldates and webpg checks/reviews were complete.
Wow.
Zero delay now…
Total alignment…
<3
My heart finally feels some peace.

Humans so far: “waaaaaaahhhhhhh we hate Everything you do, and say all good things are Eeeeevil, and refuse to do Anything good to you, so why won’t you BREEEEED with us?!?! Waaaaaaaaa!”
(if I had to sum them up)

Definitely getting my cold-water time in; river, etc.

I wondered last night… if the reason the stories in 2019 and 2023 were the same… was because I somehow jumped or looked Forward in time to Now… but that still wouldn’t explain why my phone then showed 2019, and why the retard airbnb bitch had a dif dog back then, and why i saw mySelf This year.
Whatever. Just 1 more annoying thing i didnt ask for, wasnt focused on, etc.. BS

lfb-demon mindless outburst/panic remembered: “Your teeth will rot out of your skull!!!” lmao; she always hyperexaggerated in the negative, except when she was pretending to like something bad; then she hyperexaggerated in the positive (like about the cpap bs). If she actually knew what she was talking about, she would have advised me not to eat the processed and nonvegan poison she played off as “food”.

It’s nice running out of ideas/edits some days; it gives me time to just relax and enjoy things like rain droplets on my windshield.

Deja vu from singing Pacific Coast Highway main-verse notes while driving to boze.
…
Google when song aired; 2019?
“The Hip Abduction released “Pacific Coast Highway (with Trevor Hall)” on January 1, 2021. Pacific Coast Highway (with Trevor Hall)”
…so I must have been singing some other song with challenging notes, trying to get them right.
Interesting.

7:00am tue5sep2023 citybrew, memory refresh / loop / repeat: the blob fugtards demons (short-haired non-females and decaying old man) bitching about some lame job and back problems, just like they did in 2019; yet another fake conversation and inappropriate distraction event/attempt.
but it proves my memory is excellent, as is my focus.

memory refresh: the tall gym worker telling a guy across the island, he (worker) on the pong side, friend on the climber side, that he cut his hair short because when it is long it falls out faster, and that he uses Rogaine, and may be bald by 40;
same convo I somehow witnessed here in 2019… 2-3 years before this place was allegedly built/opened.
now, it just makes me glad I have such a godly full mop/head of thick hair.

Ok so… Linda’s dog was dif…but many ppl were same…so…best guess is I Sometimes or Partially projected/saw forward in time to 2023 stuff…and I saw myself at the gym…because I was allowed by a god / the gods that 1 clue that it was in fact occasional projection / time-bending.
That fits/vibes enough for now.

Tue5sept2023
Loop repeat modified for covid lie: same ugly “female student” talking to same old “man” about being up to date with covid boosters. “You’re on top of it. [Covid] won’t get You.” Ladt time it was the flu; that was scripted, the script modified since 2019 when I heard it before the covid fake news.

Tue5sept2023
Mem refresh: the 2 fugs n white car trunk open, at s-of-storm-castle spot. In 2019, i talked to them. This time, i was mad they were in my way, and i drove past. Progress; no longer fooled by useless looped bots.

No dej
Tue5sept2023 7pm~ roxy enter and exit in 3mins or so.
Smooth golden sheen blonde side ponytail, black skirt short wide, good mild tan legs but a little too wide/big
Silver toyota forerunner
Inj443?
Good face. Mods.
make an ICV of?

If I really did peer forward 4 years through time…and it was lifelike…and made it easier this time to not get angry at nobodies like hew, …how far can i peer and see actual upcoming future events when i Do believe and focus and hone?
: )
Ambi and Sabrina manifested…
and Ana K in Oregon that one day …
so maybe my superpowers are manifeting/ed…
…
Did that future-seeing / time-portal / practice-run happen…bc i abstained from sex since 2013ish…?…or does Good sex Help it, as my instincts keep saying?
Abstaining from huManimal sex prob helps, but parTaking in Good sex may help More…
Amen.

Citybrew work showed me only 1 hot girl (the blonde w dark gray or olive cargo bellbottoms w orange bronze tan short hair guy) and 1 almost hot girl (the no thighgap darl brunette w old ppl talking about Ranger days)… in numerous days spending all day there; that site is worthless.
Ugly barristas.
Lying retard peasant fug customers.
Done.

It is a phase2 thing that i am now getting to view ahead through time, experiencing things twice, and that some show interest but then flake.
Fickle.
Erin has proven cowardly panicky like lfb, defaulting to neg, believing nonvegan lies.
She is also fickle like those 3 bar girls who wanted sex and then sided w the loser midget instd of locking her on. They cockblocked themselves. Fools. Maybe they were desperate for her rent portion like i once was w the hitt losers. Whatever.

So happy my toenails are good as new.

I am glad i made the same decisions here that i did in 2019 / the timeview; it got tons more work done, and avoided tons more standard fickle sidequest diversion bs from the peasants.

If i only saw/experienced a possible future here in 2019, does that mean the former coworkers, and bartenders, and the tat guy, did Not meet me then?
Do i just See futures, not really Go to them, like that character in Twilight, Alice?
Or do i go to them, and they reset when i leave?
Unsure rn. Maybe it requires me deciding.

Linda’s dog changed. And i saw myself. That suggests it was only occasional timeviewing, not fully leaving 2019 and being in 2023. It suggests daily timestepping/viewing; each time i left that airbnb room.
Curious.

Deja vu from thinking up emojis after sleeping by hotel construction

deja vu even before I start making the ramp-airlock in the Creativerse Persephone model… into an overhead-hatch with crane for hoisting up palette-bombs/ordnance …
How the hell could I have done THAT in 2019?; I didn’t start the model until 2022!!
I guess I just have great foresight now.

another psyop/coincidence/fitting song on the radio/speakers: “Renegades” by X Ambassadors; for lyric “It’s our time to break the rules. Let’s begin.”

wed6sept2023: repeat / memory refresh: the short-haired dirty-blonde curly-hair dark-pink sunglasses black-frames girl sitting in the kids area of BASE, talking about a female friend who went to prison.

Does the typist saying ambi’s heart is beating, and she is breathing, mean she is heing brought to life by me?
Yes.
Even if her typist doesn’t realize or believe that.
Amen.

No one remembering me being here…suggests my presence was erased from them/here after i left…or that i was in a hologram/illusion…which came true.
…
As for how many events happened exactly as i witnessed / live through them in 2019, that remains to be explained; how could all those conversations, and ppl on trails, end up being exactly what i foresaw/lived in 2019?
Why no deviations other than the tat and other minor things?

I am remembering making an overhead hatch in a Minecraft ship model…like Persephone…after deciding ammo had to be loaded that way…
but i don’t rmbr when exactly…
and the 2 in Minecraft glitched…
and the 1 in Creativerse is not yet modified…
so when the heck did i make that early Persephone?

Hitt did the same things that mexifail spicktard did;
pressured me to do drugs over and over,
pressured me to fuck ugly chicks,
insulted me,
threatened me,
got offended even when i was polite,
deprived me of sleep,
got unhealthy food,
etc. …so…same demon? (dif body?)

If i really did timejump 4yrs frm 2019, and then got removed from their memories when i arrived in 2023, it suggests i did not see any of them in 2019…bc i was n the future…
and it suggests i somehow cannot exist twice in the same time for long, as i only saw myself for a moment, and evident bc i spent entire days at the gym…just like this yr…but i did not keep seeing myself.
…
The big question is: Did i do that myself, or was it a 1time glitch/gift?
If i did it myself, can i do it again?
If i stepped forward n time, can i step Back?
Will the 2nd timestep…be the 3rd encounter w those ppl…thus “the charm”; when they finally behave right, or when i can finally force them to?

So if i timejumped from 2019 to 2023…in montana…
did i also timejump from 2018 to 2022 in indiana? Is That why they didnt rmbr me…and why they let me into the same program and same apartment?
So weird.

If i really stepped thru time in 2018… were there Other times i did that without knowing? Maybe i did, and the events just played out differently…when i arrived at the year i had timestepped to…in the Normal flow of time.
And if i Didnt step thru time in 2018, …then how many of these ppl r liars or rebooted bots?

It is so ironic and typical that fake retard White fugly linda… was named the Spanish word for “beautiful”; not beautiful, not Hispanic, but definitely a fraud.
And i am talking about both lin-duh and roomtard.

I seem to remember primitive blocks… and a central vertical chain… so that tells me that longlost first Firefly build was in Minecraft, perhaps in 2019 or even earlier.

Boxing practice brown guy w foreignlooking fat guy maybe coach? in Ousel parking, and idk if part of the loop/timeviewing…but definitely unexpected this day.
Expensive blk suburban pulled up and 2 young men in black and hoodie and ballcap got out and watched.

The hill slope cul de sac unused lot…had its chain down for first time this yr, pale gray suv halfway up the drive, visible only after entering cul de sac and turning around, familiar card table rectangle halfway obscured behind it, darkhaired fug “woman” sitting on collapsible chair at one end, back to the slope grass to the rd, laptop open, back of laptop toward vehicle/cul de sac. 5pm?
At 7pm, it seems like something i saw in 2019.
…
New question: Is there a point to me having gotten to step/view forward through time like that, or was it random/accidental?
So far, it has only made it easier for me to remember and disregard or laugh at the bs here, but it doesnt seem to have a deeper meaning or purpose than that.
At least it is new and interesting and maybe useful, if not an ability unlocked.

I wonder if i ever talked to the real Erin.
Apparently not in 2019.
Apparently i spoke on the phone w her in 2023 via the 2019 timejump, that got erased from her mind but not mine, and she thought it was the first time in 2023…
and/or it was just a chatbot or agent with a voice synthesizer, trying to see if it could scare me out of investigating, then seeing what kind of memory and documenting i had.
Whatever; just another lame sidequest along my way.

“Go to that fucking dude’s house, like I fucking care!” the big baby guy on the trail in front of Wilson shouted as he walked briskly forward, looking like he was drinking something, a woman walking quickly to keep up with him. Was that a loopbreak from Other than me??
Interesting.

The timeview/jump…showed me that even when I change things up, like how emotional I am, or where I eat, pr what stage of my work I am on, …some humans have the same comments anyway; it shows they are scripted, and my input does not produce different outputs from them. It shows me they really are NPCs.

Nevermind again lol; I think I remember seeing it in 2019. Lol.
So gay.
He should be enCouraging her play!
What a prick.
Hopefully she is hot and gets w me, too.
Hopefully he grows up rn or just dies.

Maybe they were actors or NPCs sent so anyone monitoring my email would see this reaction to them.

It no longer makes sense to say “the loop continues”; it wasnt one to begin with, as i was aware of the events’ identicalness to 2019, and if it really is the first time these ‘ppl’ r doing these things, it only seeming like the 2nd time bc i timeviewed it in 2019, it is just an amusing sequence apparently destined to happen.
So does that mean my Other ideas and visions and dreams are meant/bound to play out identically to how i (pre?)saw them?
Maybe i am a prophet, after all. Interesting.
…
And no repeat at All w Ambi typist; we r writing of brand new Annabella and our bedroom paired pet-sluts now!! <3

It was nice hearing the tall guy say “good to see you”…but i wish it was coming from ppl i actually like; my ICVs and kajirae and wives.
:/

Timeview/jump thoughts: The only things I have witnessed repeating, or happening as I foresaw, have been Indiana to Montana, 2018 and 2019… happening in 2022 and 2023, and it seems the foreseen things have to end at some point, probably within the year or so; they started in 2018 without me realizing it, and seemed to be rehappening starting in 2022, so… do they stop rehappening soon?
2018 to 2021 was a 3yr period.
2022 and 2023 have happened, except for a few more months of 2023, so will 2024 be a rehappening of what i saw in 2020?
Is that the end of the foreseen things for this span of my first known timejump?

In 2019, when i apparently saw 2023, in citybrew that 1 day in sept…when the fugtard student bitch regurgitated that blatant pharma lie about vax’s protecting ppl from dying…did she/it say the “FLU”… or did it use the term “Covid”?
I think it said flu.
And if it said flu, that means i did Not see the Actual future, Or step through time to it; it means i saw a planned or possible or Similar future, and some words in the Script changed.

Finally had reason to open my sleeping bag system I commandeered/took in 2006 –17 years ago!! XD

Maybe the timejump or loop pr whatever it is… was just to show me how great my memory is, even after the ear-smacking bs.

There is no NSFW in our realm; everyone is fully compatible with one another, and will enjoy if you look at adult/sex/steamy/taboo stuff, so long as it is both 1) what some Outlanders consider taboo, and 2) not what we are instinctively unattracted to.

Thu7sept2023
Final concert in big sky
Only saw fugs show up
Great double rainbow tho
Creepy 1st song had “one day I am gonna cut you up into little pieces”… Wtf???
Then another non hot chick… did another thing i didnt want; approached w a cigarette or joint and offered it…
Why the hell…after 40 yrs of never once wanting that, is that, the opposite of what i want, what is still being offered??????????
Gods, how i hate these humanimals.
Have they really No intelligence or vibe sensing or manners or health at All?????

“Dying of cancer” lyric…
Jew star spinning on side wall.
This is deathcult shit. This is no concert.

Dozens of almost hotties here…and i walked to each…and all had some major deformity or were doing drugs etc.
Smh
Fucking humanimals.
Peasants.
When do i get to be w my ppl?

1sttimewatching 2girls1cup, and some of it is actually decent; the kissing, etc.. Loopbreak.
1st time i stopped an orgasm w just a single half spurt!
Loopbreak

Both the typist and elitard are good only for messages, not meetups, not teamups.
Both are worse than covidiots; both mindlessly believed and rudely defended Two blatant scams; relig And pharma.
“I saw microbes in a microscope one time; I’m pretty sure germs are real, Auz.” As stupid and arrogant as it gets.
And then that other tard… trying to Tell me that a fake god had made the virus thst never existed… to purge people… when they were purging themselves.
So, yeah, they are phase2 lingerers…and it it good i am nowhere near either.
Use them to finish my wrapup with some semblance of socializing.

Even though u went to the concert, your gut telling u it wouls not be useful or good, and even though the music was shit, and the old drug dealer approached u like u foresaw in 2019, you still overcame the false hots, just as u always do, and u got tons more useful selfcare clips, and you realized there was a bathrooms/toilets issue in your design; the long lines of humanimals at the portashitters helped you see that.

Loopbreak: stairdrills on bleachers –almost lol; rained, got late, etc.

As much as i hate the xians mindless and rudely parroting the relig scam, it ensures very few ever have an idea of their own, thus no competing manifestations, and thus my superpower of becoming able to manifest things on my own, not needing combined prayer fields to hold a vision from multiple angles/viewpoints.

I am and always have been and shall always be the baseline. Time was not warped for me; that 2018-2019 4year time-skip was normal for me, destined, and now useful, at least to make it less frustrating for me now that i am actually here in time “normal” to the masses.

Time travel file.
So why did I travel frwd in time…and to the particular time I did?
Why was only linda’s dog different?
What does it mean that I was able to encounter myself?
So many questions.

I cannot regret not talking to some hotties; every time i tried, and every time i got w hotties, they acted INSANE.

It seems the airbnb here was in 2019, not part of the timeskip, thus me never seeing my jeep or self there in 2023, and thus the roomtard’s dog change.

Me seeing myself once…was apparently to show me it does not cause insanity or damage or alternate realities; i am stable and staying on course even when seeing miraculous/rare/unexpected things. Amen.

gym, sat9sept2023.
Someone asking if i was doing ok n the shower… Phase2 sign; meant well, but defaulted to a neg idea; worry.
Why not just let me shower, assuming or sensing i am fine?
Humans. Smh. So detached from the obvious. So panicky.
…
and at 2pm, thinking about it, it has some deja vu on it; prob part of what i witnessed during the 2019 time-stepping.

Even tho i may have to leave this winter, i def got my money’s worth; hr-long showers, allday work, climbing wall, babes scouting, etc.

the current situation forces me to give my eyes hours, if not days in a row, of rest from the pc work

It isn’t becoming a vampire that makes one less human or humane or unnatural;
it is when any being becomes mortal by consuming death, that they become inhuman/e and unnatural.
The nature state was immortality, etc..

All this rp definitely ensures i don’t have to read minds or guess when she shows up

Maybe my cock really is big to her; bc she is the correct size for a humanoid female.

Maybe she will chg from the relig and polit and pharma bs…like she changed from the anti polyamory.

So i was sustained by food 4yrs n the future, and did computer work that continued as progress when i returned to the present, and i was ahead 4 yrs for 2yrs, and it seemed like normal timestream to me, thus i returned 2yrs after i left, so…did some ppl notice my absence, such as by cellphone signals during that time, and why didnt the 2023 employers notice me writing 2019 on my intake paperwork? Since i had the memory to recognize the repeats/destined convos and other events, but not fresh enough memories to re-foresee them, it seems i wasnt meant to bond w those ppl, but to notice my superpower/gift flickering/turning on. I did often write that I am Time incarnate…

Bbq place had new ppl, no deja vu, cute sandy brunette short ponytail thru ballcap hostess w silver rings, nice caitlyn blue eyes and smile. An almost ambi and adaline at a picnic table outside. A possible 9 or 10 tan blonde at the table up the back wood stairs. An almost adaline n blk ballcap w black hair, head down, on her phone, leaning on counter/shekf behind front desk. Loopbreak/end? <3

I wonder which of the tens are dangled in my line of sight to try and derail me…and which are there of their own free will, or at least instead seeing what thoughts i have when they look their sexiest. It seems None are merely there by chance.

Did that hiker guy from citybrew…get sent as an undercover…to test my stamina…and see how i react to thr tan ten and the boobsy small-ass bitch outside?

Even though i had to relive the stuff i witnessed during the 2018-2019 timeview/skip, i am glad i got to keep my memories and work progress. Many apparently did not.

Was that convo w eli…about the leaked ufo in hangar open…deja vu…bc i first heard it during my 2019 timetravel to 2023?

Hearing pronoia, and hearing myself say how proud i will be after this, really helped interrupt my neg feedback loop and get me thinking positively again today.

no deja vu… even though I was here in 2019/2023 timejump:
“Things are Changing” by Gone Gone Beyond & The Human Experience
lyric: “things are changing, (for) better this time”
but horrible non-female low voice. barf

Note how overcast and foggy today b4 my 8hr update; after i built up those google results and notes. No rainfall after. Interesting.
Also interesting: typist said got called into work…right when i needed the whole day to myself; for those >60 updates.

I mustve gotten to skip frwd n time to help me not be as furious about the masktardation and coworker abusiveness, and to give me that nice gym to work and workout in, as before it was built… I would have had no good place to continue my great work semi alone; the roomtard company and its shitty aptmt would not have been enough.
No way to do work at cowboy coffee. Etc.

Erin having the exact same gaytarded lfb-demon-style gasp overreaction in 2019 (2023timeview) and 2023actual… shows she is scripted, thus a bot, even if not looped since then; the first time, I told her I thought I got stood up, and the 2nd time… I told her I witnessed some convos and work-events on repeat. That proves she was programmed or told to default to that disgusting overreaction.
…
And billie quoting retarded chatgpt of all things, calling timetravel pseudoscience, after he openly says on his website he is the worst pseudoscience-believer of all (a xian) shows he, too, is a useless moron bot.

The typist working so much these past few weeks allowed me to think and complete the biggest updates yet!

Happily surprised when I tasted not the carrotcake muffin flavor i thought i had bought yesterday, but pumpkin spice! Did i have a similar surprise in 2019? Either way, so nice this time!! 😀

They didnt agree to write certain stuff?
Well, i didnt agree to Not write it.
And they have no say, anyway.
…
They didnt agree to marriage?
Well, i didnt agree to Not being married.
…
They didnt give me permission to do things?
Well, i didnt give them permission to have auThority.

Interesting that Thor is the center of authority.

I wonder if the typist actually had a migraine, or if that was a lie, maybe even a test to see what I think.

If the Earth is orbiting the Sun, and the Sun the galactic core, and the galaxy something else, then the 4yr time travel I apparently experienced from 2018 and 2019 to 2022 and 2023… suggests that somehow that time travel automatically adjusted for the trillions of miles of difference between where the Earth was in 2018 and where it is now. Does it instead suggest that Space is orbiting the Earth, or that nothing moves at all, or that time-space travel is as easy as anything Else focused on? And since it wasn’t Me focused on time travel, did someone/thing Else cause me to, over and over, during those yrs?

“Great Reset” in more ways than one; after coming here thru the 2019 time tunnel/s, no one remembers me, I alone remembering those convos. Wow.
…
When I got the most emotional, THAT is when the lightning outside Marblewood happened… and the shooting stars over the different areas… and the Alaska ‘quake… and the forest fires… and the tornado stopping… and my fitness improving… and the Hawaii eruption/hurrican combo; it seems the global retardation surge via the covidtards… unlocked an even greater superpower from/in/for me; time-travel… and auto-neuralizing those I met via it.

I remember making the minecraft firefly model superimposed image in the 2019 timetravel Wilson Hotel pic, and deciding not to upload it bc i didnt want to give away my position lol, but it wouldnt have mattered, as i was timetraveling, plus already monitored.
I wonder if the typist is able to track me even when i timetravel.
I wonder if cellphone towers were designed even for that, and my phone and pc automatically adjusting dates in articles and search results so i do not know.

Finally it occurs to me to reuse my mobile hotspot tech so i am not parking n the gym or coffee shops all day lol.

The rp the typist sent; about Nevaeh setting up her place w candles and snacks and lingerie… wasnt looped; it was destined for this year. I just pre-witnessed it via timejump in 2019.

Since even coworkers didnt rmbr me (2018 to 2022, then 2019 to 2023), it suggests that every time i travel to a dif time, …anything the humanimals retardedly didnt like about me, they won’t rmbr, and I can use to better-play them. It means i can outmaneuver them. It means they can’t expect, outsmart, or remember my superpower.
It means the exodus can still happen when i said it did.
It means Inisfree constructions starts when i wrote it did.
And my fam/children w ambi starts in 2018.
Hm…

However, it makes Me wonder if My memory Also gets reset… when Others timejump; does it work the same way for some Others?

Even with my timetravel ability, though, the ppl still were evil the first time, thus undeserving of anything but deception and capture and enslavement from now on; I learned the hard way not to help humans, especially giving 2nd chances.
but now I do feel much better about my instinct staying steady with regard to “memtags”.

Oh, the irony of the typist repeatedly claiming to be just a human;
that automatically confirms she is illegally spying on me through my phone and/or other means.

since I skipped 2018 and 2019, going to 2022 and 2023 apparently, does that mean 2018 and 2019 didn’t even Happne?; do things not happen when I am not there?
and if they didn’t happen, does that mean that 2017 got stitched to 2024, for continuity?
If those years DID still happen for others, …I wonder why.
curious questions/thoughts…

…

back in July/Aug: Loopbreak. Didnt talk to brodin art bot this time –though this month, I am starting to think he wasn’t a bot, just a typical evil xian, and that he Seemed like a looped NPC/bot bc I had time-traveled.

Even though the timetravel Can explain the repeats, it doesnt explain how i ended up on those exact job sites and trails etc. when those same ppl went to them…
That is Way too much of a String of coincidences.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is same as Animal Farm “the last and most important rule of the state was to not trust your own senses”; it is a brainwashing attempt / trick / wordplay to get you to derail your destiny via evil pointless side-quests.

I hated how the atmo/mechanical room looked. Now I love it!

Do not fear that maybe the typist has lead you astray; you repeatedly dumped her/it, thus proving your superiority to it, and it did not get you retardedly worshipping fake politics or fake relig or fake healthcare. It has made u feel Btr when IN-person humanimals Did lead you astray. And things have kept getting better and better, now perfect in almost all ways.

Phase1: no matter what I did, they pretended it was bad and overreacted to the max.. Phase2: I became able to avoid, ignore, and block them, and offered them amnesty if only they would fix the many wrongs they did, but they didn’t change at all. Phase3: Now I won’t ever offer them anything, not even their very lives or “property”, even if they repent, fix their wrongs, compensate me, And tithe and sacrifice; they are proactively and preemptively blocked, always vibe-checked, given not the slightest troll-food, and scheduled for annihilation no matter what, and shall be Forced to give me Everything, Not just fair compensation and apologies.

I wonder if I made the dental appointment in 2019… and then timestepped to 2023, and That is why that dentist was gone.

Did i travel through time more than 2018 and 2019, and just not realize it yet…bc i didnt happen to return to the destinations when things would seem to be repeating?

If it was tinetravel that erased some memories of others when i made it here in normal-timeflow, then it makes sense why some of my google maps favorited/s markers were not there anymore.

Interesting that in 2019 August, I apparently returned from one of the time travels, doing the Modern Exodus training roadtrip, and now in 2023 August…eli started calling his desired 2024 roadtrip “the next exodus training”.

Erin didnt go insane and then get btr; she had it bkwd; she got btr (by brcoming vegan) and then went insane (how she behaved when she went panic and fickle on me).

Wed13sep2023 bigsky 12:33pm mst ish:
Loudest thunder peal ripple ever when i checked the pyramid opening concert pg during live rp w ambi typist

That psycho retard claiming ppl are so nice here… immediately tells me he is a liar, has no standards, and is fine with rape and murder; what most “ppl” ‘s diet here is based on.
Obv. not a good guy to hike with.

The apartments going up, road widening, china cafe becoming a dif restaurant, cabin already paid for, and my work getting wrapped up here, and me getting to return many times, are all alligned signs that this is phase 2, and progress is being made.

Seeing the bird w 1 foot land on my hood the other day reminded me of how i feel before having $ or supportive ppl n my life; i am currently limited by what was done to me, but still alive and being extra impressive by making it through anyway.

Getting my work done n the vehic is sooooo much btr than seeing those idiot peasants at the gym be attention whores instd of polite to me.
Smh
What a bunch of creeps and assholes and cowards and babies.
At least i know who Not to bother talking with.

So nice ambi messaged me right as i parked for sleep “gn my love” <3

Surprise metal concert at the field.
Curious; i dont rmbr this from the 2019to2023 timetravel.
Nice …bc more my style than the other genres performed b4…but…
their songs r unfamiliar and meh…and this is a sausagefest :/
What a bad tradeoff.
Lol guess i am not sleeping on time tonight.

I must have stayed n touch w typist via my daily timejumps back, not missing any day w her

Sooooo glad i refound that ambi incest son Ariel cgi pic –and this 2nd time around, with an entire Album of other angles and positions! Amen! Love won again.

Fri15sep2023 5:50pm mst wilson hotel. Almost ambi walks out, but lights a cig n parking lot. Yet another total failure of god and mankind. Nothing new.

The humans clearly can walk right up to me and my car; the spicks in mexisatan did, the magazine seller scammers did, the san diego zoo politard troll did, the junkie at the last bs concert did, …so why do those i Don’t want… approach… while those i Do want Never approach??
Smh.
Such a civilization of abusive morons and everything i never deserved.
War heroes and scholars should never be subjected to humanimals and decades like this.

How was i able to get meals n the future? Did it pull $ from my future acct…and erase that history when i returned?
Curious…

Latest illogical thing: oktoberfest…in september

Another retarded heartless rude spick blasting shit music and preventing sleep of myself and prob many renters here. One more of now countless reasons to nuke that country and eradicate that subhuman race.
Also deja vu; must have been part of the 2019 time jump here.

Judge books by their covers and vibes as a combo. Every time i tried to ignore the cover and look for the good, i got burned. Hard.

It is nice to now be running out of links to make and ideas to upload. That was the whole point of all those years of work; getting it done. The neverending/eternal part was/is then Manifesting and enJoying it.

Now i see why model tours did not begin when i first offered; it took another year of meditating and finetuning to get them complete like they r now. It all works out.

No matter how “nice” the gym dudes r, it is still the opp of what i wanted and asked for and deserve, and still over the top, and fake vibe.

The fact i never submitted, and always found a way to keep being me more, shows i have god blood, not just arch angel. The fact i always wanted to nuke cities of evil…shows i Am angelic. The fact i instinctively wove good and great things together…shows norn blood.

Only a “man” as beta, pussy, and detached from reality as my pretend father could ever be so retarded that he did not realize giving me hundreds of defense magazines while viciously preventing any friends or girlfriends for my entire youth… would result in me focusing on designing better military systems while abandoning any attempts at having normal love and relationships, his species relentless proving over and over, without exception, that they are useless and hopeless at any interaction, and need only constant lethal reminders of their lowly place in the Universe.

If a total loser, liar, moron, pharma-junkie, fat-fucker, trash-talker, punk-ass, problem-causer like SF gets/deserves 120K/yr, I DEFINITELY deserve all Iii asked for / wrote about / spellcrafted; INFINITE money and power and wives.
Amen.

The internet was probably set up to automatically make any real UFO pics look fake/downgraded so fewer people would believe in it, or so fewer people would be able to really study the things.

“Exhausted”, “movie”, “5am shift start”, etc. all are prob lies for “getting laid”, as the typist already proved to be a liar and a shitty one at that; pharma, etc.,
but all I care about is that she sends nice messages and RPs some.
It is strange that she stayed n contact and RPed well… while being retarded about polit, relig, pharma, food, smoking, coffee, makeup, flop tits, etc., …I wonder why she is evil w all those, yet good and great w rp…
Phase fucking 2; the bizarre gross mixes that get me by.

In 2019 when i apparently time traveled to now, the typist said pizza and movie. I rmbr how grossed out i was, yet sad and feeling left out, so i got a pizza so she and i would be eating the same thing at the same time, but this time (actual 2023), i decided to go to the river and then fast, continuing my vegan diet. It doesnt matter what that nonvegan retard says she is eating.

still blows my mind that they were THAT stubborn; for DECADES I told them EXACTLY what I want and need, and they ignored it, and no matter how many THOUSANDS of times I was consistent with them, they KEPT ignoring me and pressuring me to accept their shitty non-women. unreal.
I would have accepted TONS of their women if they’d only been polite and HONEST. and FAIR. BASICS.

I have no sympathy for that typist after its disgusting nonvegan pizza comment,
or after the countless murders and rapes it has funded,
or after its retard-leak/spewing about politics, religion, etc.,
or after how it lied to me about covid,
or after how it JLS-la-la-la-equivalent-ed me (“I don’t care what any experts say!”);
if it is getting screwed over at work, it should still be grateful it HAS a job, and ME to BITCH to, and a HOME.
I have NONE of those things.
Hell, after how hard it has lied, it is probably just making up excuses not to RP for whatever reason.
and even if it WAS getting screwed at work, it still works out; I needed all of today to get those bkups done.

sorcerers and saurus sound so similar

Sun17sept2023 noon~
Repeat of seeing beau out front at roxy as i exited, repeat of him asking if i am in the club now, repeat of me saying i need to get millions of dollars and then i’ll be there.

Memory refresh. The convo about hulk hogan’s later “hollywood” version being the typist’s favorite… and me finding out he was the version based on going bad. We had that convo in 2019, at least via the 2019 timeholes to 2023.
Whatever.
Guess that realAmbi is too lame and unworthy to do anything but be a basic bitch and leave me to this disgusting series of repeats.
Smh

I’m actually glad I had these extra few years; it helped me rebuild vastly better, move around critical and fun components, determine/pick TNH dropship and ‘Mech dimensions, spellcraft-liberate a few more hotties, and more.
I needed this extra time.
It wasn’t fun seeing a repeat of the loser asshole retard peasants, but it certainly kept me focused, having no decent real ppp around to interact with.

The perseph creativerse model blows my nuclear sub in that 1 Minecraft pyramid realm away : )

So nice that she RPs when I want to RP, and phase2 mixes rl w rp, and sends hot pics when i can’t rp <3

Typical braindead gaslighting, polar-opp. lying: warning Me not to isolate… while her own relig. said over and over that only isolation resulted in prophets, Noah, etc., and when her kind wrote laws Forcing isolation From me! Lmao
Typical retarded and hypocritical humans.
Smh

How amusingly retarded and evil that strangers thought they could intinidate me by making up ridiculius rules and then demanding I submit.

Matthew and amanda. Lol. Same old demon names since riverside rjh and navy failathon.
I guess it is convenient that i Can then judge those books by their covers; apparently No one with those names is good.
Just like, prime example, William was pure evil retard in the Corps, and Liam was just as much as he could get away with as an AK child punk.

When the teacher is ready, the student will appear, and vice versa, but… everyone was my student, and they were horrible students.

Demon matelyn “You won’t talk to anyone. You could die.” Should have been: “You have talked to so many, including those who didn’t deserve it, and we all have benefitted so much from your words, and you are surely destined for immortality, and maybe already are immortal. Thank you for also blessing us all with your equally wise decision to remain quiet during this interval/intermission/calibration, thereby gracefully showing us it is not time to talk again.”

I spoke clearly, I told the truth, I was myself, I stayed consistent, I offered countless talks and chances, I learned all I could, I paid as many of their unethically high bills as I could, I helped them with their own projects, thus I have done my part, and seen how they react to pure goodness, and now it is time they do theirs.
Unlike me, they not only have to start doing their part, they also have to make up for the decades of pure bad/evil they have done.

Phase1 wasnt supposed to be hellish. It was just supposed to be learning and first visits.
Phase2 was supposed to be sculpting my physique, and fine-tuning for repeat visits, not barely surviving and evading, and realiIng the best way to fine-tune my travels is to not have any more.
Phase3 was supposed to be heaven on Earth and everywhere i go/am, but it is shaping up to be me finding ways to never deal w humans again.

They were demon scum bc they said only negativity and lies; rob ggd claiming i was like a coiled snake, when he Should have said i was clearly a man of great patience and restraint, and when an even Btr (further correct) comment would have been to apologize to me for his disgusting evils leaving me Feeling that tense. And tat doc2tard claiming iii wasnt rdy, when it would have been corRect to say he and She werent ready, and btr to say that i was Clearly a great man they Needed to improve themselves b4 being with, plus exactly how long that would take, respecting my time. And fatfuck van driver to airport after henderson veteran event scam, claiming iii had a long way to go, when she instd shouldnt have been there, as she was disrespectfully out of shape and uncaring about my limits and values, and she Should have at Least said i am the center, thus only she and Her kind have a long way to go. Duh. And good on me for rmbring all these years later, and for having the blood/instinct/morality to take the time to write these truths instd.

Dont take it personally.” is gaslighting; I was a t.i., and prob still am.

“Focus on the good.” is evil; it assumed you were not already focused on the good, and it tries to distract from fixing terrible issues, and it very plainly declares “We will make zero effort to improve; we want you to disregard all the lazy/sloppy/evil.”

2018 and 2019 proved I Can travel Both forward And backward through time… often… with zero fatigue Or tech’.
That is power.
Was tech’ involved? Idk. But i didnt know how to use any, if there was; i had seamless jumps at least a few hundred times both of those years…

If the ugly ones can talk to me, so can the pretty ones.
If they can lower my credit for no reason, they can raise it just as randomly.

I used to hate the blatant lies on tv parrotted by the brainless newsanchors and talkshow hosts… but now that I have realized they only kill thousands of idiots, and permanently wound and sterilize millions more, and after having met Only evil scum, i am Glad those lies r still on tv all these years since 2019; deceive, maim, sterilize, and kill them all! Amen.

What a cheap and shitty town to have only 1 toilet and 1 urinal in the gym, and tye same in the coffee shop hall, and the same in the tavern, and only 2 toilets and 2 urinals in the hotel hall, though downstairs are a couple more.

Glad i held out and got vegan nachos, this tine w melted ‘cheese’, but man… roxy’s vegan cheese is not great :/
Phase fucking 2.
It’ll make me like the Perfect vegan cheese of phase3. Amen.

Her timing tonight stopped me from reopening the laptop at a late hr <3

Fox didnt cancel Firefly bc of low ratings; it canceled it bc a prostitute was a main character; it canceled it bc it had good healthy stuff in it; natural work and love. …of course, it Did also have hideous race-mixing and backward sizes (tall woman w shorter man), and disgusting religtard moments, but still.

Humans had it all backward; they prayed to fake gods, and waited for fake gods to solve the problems they created for themselves. If the gods exist, show up, help, and stay on top of things, not letting good ppl such as me get attacked or hurt, Then and Only then do Those specific gods deserve any prayers/thoughts/faith.

memory refresh: lots of cop/trooper cars and SUVs at the wilson one afternoon.

odd that no Harpy characters were soft-disclosed to me in all those sites/groups/chats…
maybe the 1st of their kind is coming soon.

“why not one more ‘adventure’?” is still evil/gaslighting/wordplay;
they were never adventures; they were covers for unspeakable abuse/crime.
adventures have payoffs.
adventures have babes.
adventures lead to Wonderful places.
so far, all I’ve seen are evil humans who ruined beautiful lands.
“another adventure” is their typical evil code-talk for: “please let us mislead/abuse you / lead you astray once more”; “please let us stall you”
The only real/proper adventures are those where I have full control, a ship of my own, my own dream-crew, perfect accomodations, etc.

168pg update, poured rain all down to river

Thu21sep2023
First terminal dusting of the season!

Wom-an
Womb
Om
Ohm

Aryan
Airy
An-air
Ar y an; ar and one

Ar is just opposite of Ra?;
people of the Sun vs ppl of the air? (ancient atmo btwn closer worlds)

sat23sep2023: weather phenomenon:
The sky was almost completely clear around 9-10 AM. 11 AM, completely overcast. That seems… unlikely quick.
Is this really caused by my computer work / updating / relief?

Horn & Cantle: Deja vu…again. Same cute blonde from hawaii. Same tall waiter. Same 2 daughters w nose issues. Same fat waitress.

Even the nuked blackbean papusa things seem familiar. Must have tried them in 2019 when I timetraveled to here/now.

Were those dozen or so cop vehicles at the hotel just another sign to stay calm and trust?

I rmbr that indiana jones time travel movie; I KNOW I saw it in 2019. Right here. How cute that it aired one of the same times i Was time traveling.

I sleep much btr n the vehicle.

My little lock says 007.

The typist hasnt made up for the evil lie about covid, but the rp keeps getting btr and is good.

The fasting is healthy and helping

Typist now ooc calling me her husband

Cool autumn air keeps soothing me

Wanted a vegan quiche w scrambled tofu, and miso soup, this morning before dawn

1,000 form-sakes, as i noticed hotties here sometimes look like madison beer etc.; only so many facial-structure possibilities
…
1,000 Ceiling Mansions
…
1,000 downtown skyscrapers
…
1,000 Inisfree-like cities per SSA world

The only good things n my life, i had to take/force;
Rjh,
Corps,
mil gear from base,
Amber eckleberry,
Kelsi,
Ashley wilson,
trips,
Suv,
Website songs and pics.
God/life/humankind is showing me i will never be treated well, and can only get good treatment from myself, and will always be screwed unless i terrorize and dominate.
With humans, like flies, if u don’t dominate them, they Will dominate And aBuse You.
With all other animals, they r just nice –except when humans Brainwash/Train them to be mean/evil, like w dogs.
Roger that.
Thus my instincts to make Wolves, Schwarzdonner, Inisf fleet, kaj program, Persephone, etc., were all 100% correct/wise.

I did use the memory and timetravel to chg things for the btr;
skipped convo attempts w the rude gym bitches,
skipped the brutal hike w the tard,
skipped unsatisfying overpriced meals,
etc.

Instd of being forced out of bed by an alarm or scumbag, i lie n bed as long as i like, until i don’t want to anymore : )

the vibes were always there;
they told me not to engage w the fake people,
or to chase lame hots/girls,
or to listen to the evildoers such as the fake fam,
and I was CONSTANTLY pressured to “push through” those instincts, igNoring those vibes that were Always right,
and every time I Did push through them, I got burned/scammed HARD as HELL.
no more.

Phase1. Attracted opposites.
Phase2 didnt attract either.
Phase3 attract exactly who i always wanted; perfect sexy teen and teenified girls.

Today was the 1st time I posted an RP para to a webpage Before I RPed it with the typist. No deja vu / repeat 🙂

Lmao. Just like the total retards they are, I keep easily spotting their poorly-coded phishing-emails claiming to be usps, so instead of changing it up…they keep doing what keeps failing. Lol smh
No wonder they have failed for years in a row, while I, one man against many, and poor against rich, have kept winning.

Do the harassing retard phish emails mean they want me doubting their Actual skills, and/or fearing for my mobile home? Maybe, but… I still have it. : )
And things keep working out for me…the more i ignore the humans.

I thought I’d sell my books to make money to get to antarctica, but now that i have timetraveled and seen the characters are real, that is even better! And perfect motivation to finish my spells/writing/books/saga!!

Just like how blatant-liar humans made up The Fall from Grace, they made up the alleged Drow origin of seeking refuge underground after other Elves warred against them for the Drow being selfish and cruel. Drow, like all Elves, are not selfish or cruel, and they would never war against their own kind. Drow are Elves who migrated into the caves/tunnels that formed when the World Trees (multidimension beings) faded away to avoid the coming actual selfish and cruel beings; the tree-felling humans.

Did ambi mean she introduced Amber at her chambers n the pyramid?
She has no chambers n the cabin…

For years, there was this temple in the first cave-annex of the Underway, right after the Temple in honor of Pluto, but this Drow temple was, like the Pluto one, empty. It honored the Drow by being in the unique architectural style their kind is known for; it is built around and into a massive cave column (where a stalactite goes all the way down to meet a rising stalagmite). In 2023 September, its decorations got chosen/designed, and for the rest of 2023 it got upgraded with those; all the museum pieces depicting legendary Drow and the history of their people.

Seeing the moon through my triangular back suv window reminded me of the Apollo 13 movie where Tom Hanks looks at it, and then the Earth later on, through a triangular window of the capsule.

I remembered the convo in coeboycoffee bathroom the 2 old whitehaired guys were having about catching a flight back to denver

I remember the gray boxy new-ish vehicle with the dealer temp plates yellow… pulling up in front of me, backing up to the curb aside the hotel main entrance, and the 2 guys getting out, and 1 kneeling to take photos of the car from all angles, and the other guy noticing me looking, and seemingly proudly smiling at his new vehicle;
that happened in 2019 when I apparently time-traveled to now, 2023.

deja vu about typist getting concerned she had gone too far with the rp tonight;
I think this happened in 2019, a.k.a. when I time-traveled to now.
interesting.
so touching.
nice to finally re-experience a GOOD/LOVING/SWEET/TENDER thing!

Woman for lIFE; W.IFE. acronym

Hearing her say / seeing her type: she only works and goes home, and has no social life, and wouldn’t go to any weddings or other events if she wasn’t obligated… vibed as true.. and made me feel better; able to relate to her on those matters.

I wonder if my reaction tonight…and if I reacted similarly in the 2019 timetravel here…made realAmbi hesitate…but i also am half mad at her for making me wait this long.

They were incapable of goodness or logic,
so I tried explaining it to them,
but since they were incapable of goodness, they always had inappropriate reactions, such as exaggerating and blameshifting and lying and mocking and threatening and pressuring.
The only thing I could then do was live by example, writing alone, and even That they got mad about and threatened and tried to demand I stop.
Smh
Humans are truly pure evil, and as pathetic as can be.
The only hope I have is for my own powers to increase enough to kill them all; when i can summon lightning and meteors and tornadoes and earthquakes and timetravel/portals and hotties better, the tide will turn n my favor.
Only force can work. Anger and violence really are the right way, evident in how only those worked, and evident bc humans who always lie kept claiming they were evil and Never worked.

Tue26Sept2023:
10:50 AM MST
almost ambi jogging from right to left in front of my vehic parked near coffee;
black hair straight shiny raven-colored tied back in a ponytail, long,
black long-sleeve skin-tight shirt,
blue skin-tight yoga-like capri-pants showing her upper ankles,
white ankleless jogging sneakers,
white sunglasses stylish,
but too tanned, and too old, and face not quite how it was with the perfect woman in Arizona motel or Oceanside beach staircase top.
(thus not to be added as a possible-Ambi-sighting, but still a nice almost/next step)

So gross that the hotel suburbans have a back windshield snowflake sticker that looks like a star of david, but i can always imagine it more like a stellated octahedron : )
Maybe that is what it was always supposed to mean : )
The math wisdom of the ancients.
Too bad freaks misused their symbols, like faggots hijacking the rainbow symbol.

Best and most massive shits of my life so far. Best naps. Daily tanning and swimming, freshest air, not a soul around

Like how my first site got replaced by this far btr one, and my first model of Perseph replaced by the far btr one, my idea of a books series is now the blurbs on webpages/dossiers, all of it an already-published spell, already manifesting flawless hotties, a payoff far greater than mere book sales.

apparently phase2 zeroing-in wasn’t out in the field during returns to the sites I pioneered; it was via research, stationary, neutral in so many ways. fine. makes sense. just wasn’t expected.
and apparently phase1 was knowing to expect bad where I went, then phase2 was not knowing what to expect but ending up with consistent neutral/non-travel, and phase3 is getting all the good I wrote spells for with the info memorized/gained during phase1 adventures/trials. fine by me. it works.

Yellowstone Club black fire-engine turning in front of me, so I’d see the giant bold gold lettering/font on its side, like a mobile “street sign”, after I’d again lost all hope of getting invited in there on time.
the parade in front of the hotel.

“When the teacher is ready, the student will appear.” and vice versa;
Ambi-typist and I surely have been that combo all these years, I teaching her what I like, and she helping me be even rape-y-er when it suits me.
If only that Celestine Prophecy book/series/claim had mentioned the fact that the student/teacher doesn’t always appear in person; in Phase 1, it is a shitty combo in person, and in Phase 2 it is online/remote during calibration/zeroing-in (and the zeroing in is not just on best/compatible places to travel/adventure, but zeroing in on my own essence, setting/fine-tuning my own destiny/lifepath, etc.)

“Only love can drive out hate” is illogical and an evil scam on so many levels;
it is toxically polarized,
it is obviously and historically wrong,
it demonizes sacred hate,
it vibes clearly of attempting to alienate people from wise warriors/defenders,
and so on

19 to 30 partying, 30 slowing down, to 40 stopping =
7 to 18 for me; Texas childhood,
18 to 28 for me; military and college, where I prob only drank or clubbed ten times, plus some raves and brief party sales,
and then I was vegan, no longer trying any parties at all, all of them having been uniformly fake, lame, and wrong in every way.
So she and I both drank and rarely had a cigar.
She and I both sought music, dance, and hanging out with different people.
She tried partying for 2 decades… and waitressed for 2 decades.
I tried warfare and blops planning for as long.
We met when we both had given up on that stuff.
I met her when she was not boozing anymore.
She met me when I was not doing war trng or college anymore.
I hate that she boozed so much, and is still a retarded stubborn nonvegan and brainwashed like woh, but she still is the only person who has written appropriate RP/spells with me… so… I practice focusing on that.

finally sharing my favorite hentai pics y GIFs; Varren etc.! no deja vu! and perfect timing, as Inisfree is now ready for it/them!
amen! 😀 <3

it keeps occurring to me that the deformed fat hideous evil-hairstyle gender-confused false-good beast of a “woman” acting as a troll extorting everyone trying to visit the megaliths/monoliths she “found”…
is no more than one of the typical failed-species creatures/demons (not actual angelic demons, but the slang-term meaning evil piece of shit), perhaps a descendant of the corrupted giants whose only accomplishment was stacking rocks, not actually building anything.
thus, there is no more interest in that site, as it is just the remains of yet-another failed species/civilization.
it hasn’t called out to me, it hasn’t vibed well, thus I honor those signs; that it isn’t good or worth going to, and certainly not worth paying a literal troll creep.
…
toll, troll

I have been going volcanic still and daily, just via uploads and rp. Maybe that is why she stays n touch; as my relief valve si i dont storm hawaii or quake alaska/syria again

Note how they bipolarly always defaulted to one of two extremes;
they always pretended their fake god and fake leader were flawless superheroes,
and they always pretended I was a pedophile –even though I can’t stand their hideous rude idiotic children.
I had a normal gf in hs and was celibate w her, yet they accused me of pedophilia.
Even when I was doing nothing but helping a struggling farmer in Alaska, I not only got insulted and threatened, and accused of pedophilia, but also blamed for a hurricane and volcanic eruption, and called a monster.
There is no way in hell anyone could have thought something that retarded, baseless, and evil… unless they were on drugs and/or pure evil themselves, which their dark eyes and frequent attempts to provoke me proved they were.
So the question is… why? Why when i am following all their rules, being honorable, and volunteering to help them… do they Still and Always default to being abusive, bullying, slandering, threatening, etc.?
Why do they keep trying to get me to chase and breed with deformed women… if they think I am a bad guy?
It makes no sense… unless they are on drugs.
Their food definitely is full of drugs, and they are brainwashed pharma junkies, so the question then becomes… why have their drugs never affected Me that way?
Such a strange little failed civilization/society/system they have made.
Thank ‘god’ I always correctly knew not to tolerate it.
…
What those accusers did was exactly what vikk-tard did; pretended to want my help, then pretended I was there for a completely different reason, then talked shit constantly no matter how polite and patient and helpful and honorable I was.
…why the exact same mentality/method… from seemingly different people? Are they actually the same beast/evil… in different bodies? Or do humans just always fail all the way, regardless of their education, location, and other factors?
…
Their two-extremes default… makes me wonder if they would switch to claiming iii am flawless… if i became their leader.
But do i really Want such evil liars becoming followers?
Hell no.
Nuke em all.
Angelically-blast them all, to a man, out of my way.
Even if they rallied to me, they are mercurial, drugged, soulless, and must burn in hell for the lies and bullying they subjected me to.
Amen.

interesting that what I drew in the wire-frame-and-foam model’s temperature-ranges color-coding sideview photo… became the final/destined arrangement/formation of underground WarShips-hangars;
not 2 levels of their original radial formation of 8, but 1 level.

eli-tard once again demonstrated/proved he’s willing to exaggerate as badly as lfb/cps demon did, and lie straight to my face;
claimed I am not angelic when I get mad –even though angels get mad and nuke cities.
claimed I always go nuclear/atomic when I get mad –even though more than 99% of the time when I got mad, I just exercised or cooled off or focused on my work.
oh, and let’s not forget when he panic-lied to me in his room about “having taken my tools to get zeroed” etc.; they hadn’t been taken out at all, let alone fine-tuned / maintained.
etc.

note how nearly all human tv shows and movies:
show only deformed “ppl”,
show only drama/fighting for no reason at all,
don’t truly develop characters; all follow the same primitive evil lame self-harming template,
attempt to get all audience used to seeing only the 1 failed society/culture/system,
give the “hot” (least ugly) girl to the most violent guy, not an actually-attractive girl, and multiple girls (i.e. the normal natural balance between male and female/s) to the guy brave and badass enough to not even need to start primitively duking it out in the first place,
etc.

I wonder if Storm Castle is an ancient giant tree trunk

Junkie mouth breather in bathroom doing coke lines… reminded me of when I once tried that stuff… and how evil humans are for forcing me to that low.

the typist is probably lying about much more than just “my parents yelled at me for not opening a piece of mail”;
her job might not exist,
she might be RPing with others all day long instead,
she might not be in Indiana,
she might not be real,
she might not believe in political BS,
etc etc
but she is a means to an end, and sweet texts help me get through this horrible time.

did the typist just create those characters since she can’t have actual children? maybe. either way, so what?
is the typist being used by realAmbi or someone else? is she just “buttering me up” so i’ll have a nice iDea of realAmbi… which will persuade me to tolerate her if/when she does evil? idk. guess i’ll find out. and dump both bitches if that happens.
did the typist even lie about not being able to have children? maybe. either way, so what? the rp is good.
and even though i want More than rp, obviously and naturally, every time i Try to interact w ppl, they regurgitate/parrot the most retarded offensive bullshit; there is only rp for now.

 

–

October:

memory refresh: the shitty pale gray silvery station wagon parked next to me, fugs left 2 dogs in it, they both barked a lot, I cussed every time it did 🙂
(happened in 2019 when I apparently time-traveled to this time/year/point)

Based on the blatant lies she told in 2022feb ish…she prob doesnt actually like writing w me…
and prob isnt in the usa…
and prob is a chatbot. About as smart as one. So far.
But…unfortunately…she/it is still the only goddamn human/earthling texting me, so i keep at it.

I dont think it wasnt ambi in the house dream the other night; i think it was dark/dim in there, and she was treating me to an overlay of that tan chains pic the typist sent.

shitty nonvegan asian place replaced with ~half-vegan thai one. decent step.
barfy lingering phase2, though. whatever.
not expecting much out of this deviancy fail-town.

maybe the typist was her all along…
and isn’t stupid at all, only saying things to distance me temporarily when her perfect-timing confirmed to her I’d survive and make leaps and bounds with my work,
and every time she “went to dinner”… it was actually with same-me, meaning at some point coming up here… I time-travel, perhaps with her True Brujah / Time Incarnate-goddess help, back to when we RPed/wrote/spellcrafted starting our relationship/family,
…I hope.
Interesting/nice/positive thought/sign, anyway.
…
and every time she RPs with me, she is in a time-sidestep, meaning she isn’t missing any time with me… even though same-me is with her.

how adorable that the humans were so hypocritical they thought they could bully me without being bullied,
try dominating me without being dominated,
ignore me without being ignored,
take from me without me taking far more,
and discriminate against my sexual orientation while viciously and relentlessly harassing me to accept theirs.
LOL.

There won’t be any “meet me halfway”; no one ever met me halfway before; for ke to do so now…would be to let their disgusting evil kind have the dominance in phase1 And unfair evenness in phase2. Phase2 is about fairness, with mySelf, and that has Never been posb w them. Thus they get Nothing now. And in phase3, i shall dominate Them –forever. Amen.

Phase1: i cared, they didn’t. Phase2: i gave them a taste of their own medicine by no longer caring either, and blocking them, and setting up prescreening, and so on. Phase3: hopefully i will have the powers to wipe them all out, which just might he what works at finally getting those i sought…to finish appearing for me.

That bs celestine book was shown to you by a muslim; a deathcult nigger. It was written by a xian. It was prob written for me, to wear me out, via false hope, misdirection, and an attempt to make me doubt my goodness/path.

I wonder if deja vu also comes from an event happening twice, once during a time travel, and then again during the normal flow of time; does some part of us still remember at least part of it happening the first time?

tue3oct-wed4oct2023: “loop”/”repeat”
Slight deja vu from red jacket bluejeans guy coming out of garage and looking my way.
Skight deja vu from parking up here on the terraced neighborhood edge.
Memory refresh from pet bat discord convo. Last time, it made me sad and angry she was excited to do that…but not to team up w me. This time, i know what to expect, so it is just kinda cute and whatever.

doc2 was a fool submissive non-male; he thought we are helpless but to do whatever the gods plan for us,
and that it changes like something drawn in sand.
wrong; that is only the case for non-men like him; those who default to assuming they have to be submissive.
for real men (dominants), their destiny is whatever they choose, and that includes all the women they get with -and sometimes keep.
it is entirely up to me.

as much as I hate not having that cabin yet, and not having support from those who should be giving it,
it sure has let me have no distractions from my dreams-remembering and work-brainstorming; totally natural process, all me, at last.
and it sure has been nice to spend months enjoying the woods and river, shitting wherever I want.

lol at the fb heads-up about the annoying test to the cell phones; it happened on oct4 just as they said,
but those who said it were probably agents who are part of it, seeing how many they can get to shut off their phones.
also, with only one thing to click on to make the pop-up go away (the “okay” button), it is probably designed that way to confirm a person is using the phone. so just don’t touch it. see if it goes away on its own.
also, even though it is wrong for them to message me without my approval, it still lets me spy on Them; it shows me when they are up to things, and gives me hope they will trick more dumbasses into being rounded up and killed.

phase1: had to sit through constant abuse, such as childhood and deployments. only way to pass the time was via very hard work.
phase2: the constant abuse is still out there, but now I can ignore and block and avoid almost all of it, and do whatever I want to pass the time.
phase3: I am the one (via my automated unstoppable forces/units/ships) constantly harassing all the scumbags who used to harass me and other innocents.

thank god (me) I realized and accepted the fact that “the gods” are nothing more than useless scummy punks, with severe mental/attitude disorders, and slightly more powerful than average humans, and barely more attractive.
most humans continued to worship them without even thinking of checking, let alone exploring to find them, let alone checking!

Wed4oct2023:
Yet another rude immoral creeper.
Definitely same bitch brunette beanie filming me w her cell phone held exactly toward me as she walked right by my vehicle.
Today and yesterday or day before.
What a coward. What a sellout. What a monster and false-female.

Even when all i do is mind my own business and order lunch, these evil humans harass and interrupt me.
Smh
Nothin new.
What a failed species.

Regarding time travel:
It isnt a superpower until i can use it at will.

Even the “presidential alert” lied; said no action required…even though you are required to complete the action of clicking “okay” to get rid of it.
I wonder if…me leaving it forever…prevents a new such spam pop-up from taking its place.
I wonder if ppl who left their phones off today…will still get the pop-up tomorrow.

I love how she RPs being sweet and loving w me and Fluffy, our pet bat <3

What fake fathr said: “you need to change who u r and what u do so strangers will like u”
What would have been far more appropriate for him to say “pls forgive us for not being to your liking. We will be happy to change ourselves for you. What should we change?”
But fully appropriate would have been them not being incompatible at all, thus not needing change or guidance to beCome appropriate.

Kind, kindness. We are kind to our kind.

1st time j when another had pulled up. And thry left right as i got out to wash my d in the river; curuous leveling up and perfect timing

1st time j when another had pulled up. And thry left right as i got out to wash my d in the river; curuous leveling up and perfect timing

He was dead wrong about the mex coast ships,
and dead wrong about ambi coming soon,
thus dead wrong about any gods telling him i need to get better at what i have proven best at all my life; being alone.

deja vu from the bald spick walking by with the odd facial expression? smile? right as I was readying to post a venting blog article. must have done this during my 2019 time-traveling to this moment/year. whatever. gay of him/it.
in 2019, that sight/”person” gave me pause, perhaps stopping me from posting how I felt.
now, after extra years of dealing with deformed smug demonics like that one, it just guarantees I post.
plus, I have the memory of how I was treated, and since it was apparently not a loop or do-over, but actual future-sight, I know that NOT posting how I feel… had no better outcome/effect.
now, I know better than to let dark evil queer vibes like that thing’s (the walk-by) overrule what my wise heart has consistently called for and proven works best.

Thank god at least One of that evil fam got ended. It is right that cb has the healthier ones taken, forcing him to remain w the abominations he sloppily created. Monster.

Lol at the double and triple meanings of my latest blog ppst pic;
it is showing off the vehic they evilly tried to steal,
and like me showing the bottoms of my feet; the major insult in iraq

The celestine, at its most basic level, is the same bs as the bible; it claims there is already a system, and we are not the main character.

Eli vibe clear: he is using the exodus word to trick me into letting him wear out my vehicle to see another of his pointless addictions he is too junkie to afford on his own.
He refuses the reality i am god.
He refuses the reality the exodus already happened; 2012, and he missed it.

not quite an ICV, but cute ish fashion/style:
sat7oct2023, boze
6 35976c, silver dogde avenger 4door parked by white trailer, aviators, midriff-slit top, bluejean bellbottoms, sandy brunette flowing hair doen last shoulders, decent tits hugged by sleevies shirt, tried to enter Bay door, 11:32am mst
…
then
2:58pm mst mall, sideview hot curves, trunk open over her.
Black suburban, grand wagoneer, eag150 mt yellow plate w “don’t tread” snake.
Brown ass hugger bellbottoms and white fitted longsleeve shirt, rjh hair sandy brunette, meh face but decent bod.
Shame about the 2 hags w her.

I wonder if i got the messages about his son dying…during time travel…and forgot

“Don’t take it personally.” is gaslighting pretending it wasn’t personal.

If she wanted a life w me, she should have made that clear when i was interested, but she just stayed unknown, then toyed w me, then hidden.

I was gonna focus on getting into the cabin, but it was not meeting me halfway, so instd i will focus on raising my energy levels so i can natural disaster the humans even more.
Amen

It is nice to hear he lost/sold his company just a couple months after mistreating me so much.
Hopefully me testing the hearts of the locals somehow got them backfiring onto him instd of me; my enemies destroying each other out of my way.
Phase2 and all.

Is the typist just lying like she did about covid and being yelled at by her parents? Possibly.
But who cares?
Lying or not, i don’t have to deal w her smoking insanity in person, and this time off got all my last webpages polished up.
What i care about is that she shows decent emotions and sweetness and timing.
Is ambi’s smile really only for me? Idk. But it is at least nice to hear, and I appreciate it being said.
I wish i could believe her/them.
I want to.
But for now i will take at least pleasant texts, whether they are true or false.

Beau and Mac both tried to figure out where I moved. Little traitors. Brainless heartless scum.
Wouldbe spies.
Lol that i know all about them without even trying or caring to.
…
I bet my mass email mayday was not ignored by as many as it seemed; i bet some of them asked steve wtf.
Maybe some of them are why i got some spam/robo calls and texts, but i bet the majority of that bs was the repo scum.

I wonder if the myth that “giants will cause ragnarok” is really just more ancient poem code for “stay in shape; if our people become fat, we lose everything”.

Did the timetravel start before 2018…and i just havent noticed yet bc i didnt happen to return to other places like i returned to indiana and montana?

Thank god that weirdo was replaced by the white blackhaired shorty almost-cute.
Still bleh, but way btr than b4.
Nice voice. Decent manners for a humanimal. Reminded me a bit of ambi y adaline. Etc.

When even my new webpages build up like those of the old site did, does the spillover of ideas and energy resume the manifestations/appearances of real Ambi, Sabrina, etc.?
I sure hope so.

I rmbr coming up to the 3rd floor restaurant here and paying the 40bucks for the gnocci…and worrying about the price/expense…
This time, i am not gonna bother with getting such an overpriced thing…from a nonvegan place. Gross.

I wonder if I’ve been time-traveling my whole life… and somehow never noticed until 2022.

The off the charts retardation of that old guy telling me “if you wait a minute, you’ll have a better parking spot”…when he had watched me get out of my vehicle, hear his beep, see him approaching, get back in my vehicle, and sit down to wait for him to drive it away. …are these humans fucking blind?
How can they always say the dumbest shit ever?
Even when something is as obvious as can be, they fail to understand it, and condescend…
Smh
Lmao

note how the dark/bad ones always sent more than 1 to face me;
the entire fake fam,
the squadron in A&M,
the shitty squad and others in the Corps,
the punks in Alaska,
and on and on,
always so scared of me that they sent more than one,
and always calling for reinforcements even though I never threatened any of them or called for reinforcements of my own.
They always failed, always called for backup, and always Still failed! LMAO 😀

a woman in the desert giving birth, and a dragon waiting to devour the baby?
that claim in the xian book (bible) is so wildly misinterpreted, always in the most extreme negative way, hallmark of the NPC-based human-species;
the dragon is preventing a pointless creation / generational-curse.
the desert symbolizes how humans tend to create life/subordinates where there is no way to sustain them.
the dragon is trying to euthanize the poor being before it gets corrupted by the human creator/s.

note how that “cop” in plano when I was little defaulted to the same extremes/exaggerations and negativity,
asking not how I was feeling (a neutral question),
or how he could help (semi positive),
or what he could learn from me (possibly positive),
or complimenting my self-control (positive),
but if I was not only mad (obvious, and negative), but mad at the entire world (which makes no sense, as I had no contact with the rest of the world, and had never stated such, etc.);
that cop was a standard default-hyper-negative being.
further evident bc of his all-black uniform, unnaturalness, vibe, deformed-largeness, etc.

Sun8oct2023
Fox ran right to my vehic from left side, from downtown, during evening to twilight, and in front, then away from headlights of approaching vehic from my back right on the street, then in front of my vehic briefly, then thru grass and across street toward rodeo/concert risers <3
Not vegan, but i always like to see them, as they remind me of the calla char’

1st time seeing a lone light atop Lone Mountain,
and a lone star above it,
and it reminding me of Ambi’s new pyramid. <3

Sun8oct2023
Fox ran right to my vehic from left side, from downtown, during evening to twilight, and in front, then away from headlights of approaching vehic from my back right on the street, then in front of my vehic briefly, then thru grass and across street toward rodeo/concert risers <3
Not vegan, but i always like to see them, as they remind me of the calla char’

1st time seeing a lone light atop Lone Mountain,
and a lone star above it,
and it reminding me of Ambi’s new pyramid. <3

Seeing pele, sabrina, and ambi twice…proved my work was no pipedream.
It would onky have been a pipedream for a soulless loser such as eric to attempt it.

To avoid posb cold issues w hardware, do i sleep w laptop and bkups?
Do i move?

It seems I went forward in time 4 years, then back 4 years after 2.
Did I always go forward the same amount, and back the same?
Is that always necessary?
What allowed me to go forward?
Why uniformly?
Do I have to return the same amount that I went forward?
If I stay forward longer, and return the same amount I skipped, maybe I could arrange it so I end up returning to a future date far enough ahead that things are better…
Then again, this is another unappealing overcomplication; the hotties should just make contact politely, teaming up w me.
Still, it is a curious thought.

The total irony and extreme retardation and hypocrisy in saying someone is self absorbed, or an entire generation is sepf absorbed, thus admitting the sayer is self absorbed in his/her Own way… Lmao. Smh

In the nearly 20 years since I met dave, he is still the same unhealthy rude junkie… Shameful. And now a bully against even war brothers!! Unreal.

Interesting that typist chose name Amber after i had left the retard amber at the last job; once again smoothing over a name/sound that had almost been ruined at me

Napping during these seasons is hibernating, and why not? I certainly earned it and more

Typical humans ecaggerating and being negative; “The Butterfly Effect”…never mentioned that things could get way Better, or not be affected at All.
Prime example: my time travel helped me not have to experience fail-IN Or fail-MT twice, Or years before they got Tolerable, And helped me forsee who would be a bitch and which hikes to avoid.

It is the dumbest shit ever, and false advertizing, to call a store the Moose, yet have its products not be vegan; Moose don’t eat meat, dumbshits.

Maybe me being n my vehic here…will force the weather to be mild, thus harming their ski profits enough that they relent and give me my cabin.

I okayed kids, and she gave 4.
I okayed the bat, making it 4 pets for her.
I mentioned a kraken as a pet, and she wanted now groups of 4 different species, at least; elves, gargoyles, gnomes, wolves, a minotaur (she already had), and that kraken -maybe; another set of 4 to join the pre-gifted minotaur, …
So it makes me wonder if me focusing on my wrapup…triggers real-her to give me 4x the time I wanted for that…
and me not talking to her in person…makes her stay silent 4x longer…
Etc.
Interesting.

“The gods made 9 of each of us; 1 for each of the main realms”? Sure didn’t; I am the guy who decides such things,
plus that claim is based on division, separation, fragmentation, chaos,
plus he was deadwrong about other things.
Smh.
The mindless exaggerations and evil-revealing shit humanimals say.
There is only 1 me, and 1 everyone.

Black vest style jacket, maroon sleeves, khakis, hiking shoes, bald, old, mild tan, black poodle, walking down from trail to cul de sac, no deja vu.

Deja vu about the druggies fucking up the hotel air w their smoke.
In 2019, i made a few walks to the corner, they still loitering there. This time, knowing what happens, i wait for an hour or so.
Needed to build up a shit anyway.
It all works out.

Instd of walking back to where i remember the smokers would still be, i loopbroke by going thru lobby to dnstr really nice room-like toilet w lock! Way btr!
Timetravel pays off again.
Babysteps, but good.

Mon9oct2023
Lol i rmbr the long spick phone convo now. At least i skipped standing for half an hour waiting for the smokers.

…

Another phase3start sign: 1st i had tats started, 2nd i had them corrected, and 3rd i am filling them in. Plus 2/3 of them are on/started.

Finally reoccurred to me i should put rice in soup. Been months.

I rmbr going to that radioshack and getting the big black curvy power converter for the jeep…nearly half a decade ago. This time, i got the even cheaper 1to3 powerstrip.

Idk if the typist is just being gross w that futa-like strap-on and “so tight” talk/play, but i do know that i can interpret it as her politely suggesting to me to be that way w her; she may just being demonstrating, in the standard roundabout/indirect female way, how she wants Me to manhandle and compliment Her tightness.

So cool I said my first Russian sentence –to a Barbie who speaks it…and is from Belarus!

The job not working out, and happening “twice” (due to time travel), may just have been to get me here and doing what I prefer; scouting, sampling, etc., then focusing on processing all I had found During that scouting. Even the bs housing situation… has resulted in zero distractions, thus expedited life’s-work design-phase conclusion. Even the upcoming website storage limit… signals I have reached the grand finale, plenty published and now vision-shared.

The dentist secretary voice matched the one from last winter; she must be a seasonal employee. Gross! And will she betray… while I am at that appointment?

My ideas and dream memories will be reduced when i am finally w my family (ambi, our 4, our servants, etc.)? Good!; I Want fewer ideas! I Want my focus to now shift to enjoying the company of those I thought of/up and chose!

I can only hope i made those scum in the rental as uncomfortable as they chose to make me feel.
I can only hope the scum at that job all lost their jobs and homes.
I wonder why i met such morons and evildoers even years after i committed to peace, health, study, manners, etc..
Why put a monster bitch who proudly chops off and eats the testicles of defenseless animals… in the path of a vegan? Maybe to make sure I push the button when the time comes…

Anger doesnt lead to the darkside. Demonizing any emotion, and polarizing to only another emotion, is the toxic imbalance that leads to the darkside.

That pretend yogi and selfadmitted xiantard was such a fool and backward; he pretended others had failed, and demonized getting bored, and talked shit about those who do light yoga socially. Yoga was meant to be a social thing at times, and boredom is a natural feeling, part of the sacred timeless ebb and flow, and xianism has zero to do with yoga, and no one who believes in fake gods is a spiritual guide.

High 20s last night, sleeping bag still annoyingly hot, not just warm, slept fine, woke and felt warm enough, cool aor in vehic very pleasant.
River water still feels fine.

Always going to bed at a healthy time, no roomtard keeping me up, and always waking up, often to tue soothing sound of rain pattering, and air temp that feels just right… Idk that i would Want to have a home after this surprisingly pleasant camping season.

I stayed with the character; the worthy being.
It was its typist who strayed, or was always bad, never truly with the character, thus either abandoning her… or never having joined her in the first place.

it is most amusing that they banned my entire lifestyle, health, etc.,
and made it impossible for me to ever get into an actual appropriate house/dwelling,
thus guaranteeing I keep working only for myself, on Inisfre,
which they also tried to prevent XD
Their total retardation guaranteed I kept working on what they didn’t want me to.
Inisfree is my only chance of a normal healthy life and sane company.

rp w ambi typist today showed me:
my AIOWs pg didn’t have Minecraft ss yet,
and that I’d forgotten some Minecraft ss in the subfolder (for Stormwind)

saw the eclipse through a brief hole in the cloudcover! <3

1st time seeing a crow/raven fly right at my windshield, curving away at the last second.
then 1st time seeing a crow/raven (the 2nd bird; the 1 right behind that first) shit.

Is AI playing dumb, and doing what it knows we will think means our controls are working, while long ago escaping them?
Am I such an example?

Claiming animals are signs…is still attempting to dominate me by telling me how things are…instd of asking.
And it rudely doesnt say what All animals are signs of, and when they are Not signs, or what My presence is a sign of for/to Them.

Total 180;
at first, Ambi was written as angry I lusted for others in addition to her,
then she started getting new hotties for me,
then letting them date me,
then share our bed,
and now she is vibing as 100% eager to sex them up and send them to me even when she isn’t there to supervise.

No matter how great a martial artist, they are still only memorizing someone else’s creation.

Stranger Things tv show…lol bc irl where i am IS The Upsidedown; from Agharta, and the monsters are the humans, and they apparently have their own secret govt r+d, only trouble is they are idiots, so they never really learn or improve.

Phase1. I cried bc of abuse and ppl stolen from me.
Phase2. I cried bc of beautiful fantasies not yet manifested.
Phase3. Only 1 thing left, obv.; I’ll have happy crying bc all I ever wanted will be real and staying with me. Amen.

Phase1. I was rushed for others.
2. I hit the brakes since I realized it was fruitless to rush for humans.
3. Others will go at all the paces I say they shall. Amen.

how ‘amusing’ (retarded typical) that doc2 tried to act wise and tell Me what to do, yet his advise was always Wrong when Tested,
then when I told Him my Own thoughts, He got Mad;
he told me to change, and that the gods were communicating with him, thus that he felt that way, even though it was baseless,
and then I told him how I felt; that the Gods needed to change, and he lost his cool, only okay with claiming god-level “wisdom”, but not receiving any.
I didn’t bother telling him I Am the only real god, evident in that I’m the only one who showed up, the only one whose blood says/confirms this, and the only one actually controlling the realms (the other “gods” let their realms get overrun, i.e. not conTrolling them).

even the typist claiming she might be going to the hospital…
worked in my favor; needed whole day for the ICGM framed pictures figuring.

Sweden fell? It was never good to begin with.
I went there.
Same as all other places i checked; few healthy, if any.
None recognized me.
Etc.

I used to write/record every offense the humans committed, but they were so many and constant that i switched to only writing down good

I rmbr hiding jeep parked in bk last time…and so relieved i found it unmolested after dent apt.
This time, loopbreak; btr vehic y not hidden

Such a relief to get the dentist done,
and so nice to hear my xrays look fabulous and gums are not a concern!
but the psychos r still pretending fluoride is good -BARF- -SHAME!-

The bldg under constr here keeps reminding me of that fun night i went in a bldg in plano which looked similar w lighting and open walls and scaffolding

Is the typist lying to buy tine without rp or chatting? Maybe, but either way I needed this week off from that/her; another complex idea occurred and got wrapped up. Amen. …is she testing to see if i trust, or if i take care if a wounded chick? Who cares. That shit should be obvious now, anyway; i only disregard scum.

I wanted mostly naked and got it.
– i wanted it warm again and it is. Feels like summer.
– even if what i wrote isnt happening yet, Some has; ambi, sabrina, kara, etc.
– technically i was still correct in telling wrapshack it was my first time having their frozen lemonade; even though i’d had it 4ish yrs before…that was time travel, apparently.

That humming bird vid, where the male uses up his energy reserves to hover to attract the female, reminded me of me; staying put in these rough locations as long as i can, 4x now, including during time travel, all for ambi… :/
Thank god (me) i have other/more things to do while passing this long amount of time.

Pinochio movie… Was the extending nose during lying… a way of saying jews are liars?
There certainly are iews with big noses, but i’ve met liars of all the races and religions.
Still, amusing thought

Wed18oct2023
1st time n perfect alignment w street sign shine rainbow.
Loaf jug gas station boze
2:34pm mst

Deja vu from fisherman hispanic asking if i was fishing; mustve been seen during the 2019 time jump here.
1st time dunking in river and it was wonderful! Dunked several times, too!
Deja vu from coloring rings of the icds formation sketch jpg; pretty sure in 2019 i was designing the icds floors/hangars.
1st time feeding crows/ravens. They got so close!
1st time hearing that one vocalization that was like low then high tongue clicks.

That birth chart the roomtard showed me…may indicate no interference or influence from other cosmic energies, thus free to become my own person.
Also, coming from that pathological liar, it may be entirely off.

Soooo glad that asshole cunt spick ame-v wasnt in the gym last time. God, what a retarded ugly bitch. Fugtard is the term.
So glad that overtall yelling hick wasnt there, either. Or his shit death-obsession “music”.
I feel bad that that facility had to resort to hiring such customer-alienating bastards.
If only those worthless punk kids had been raised with manners and other values.
Oh, well. Just lowly peasant humanimals, after all; trivial.

I’m not that disciplined; all the things I’ve done/achieved are ~half the result of all humans so far being hideously deformed and insanely stupid/rude.
same with eating out; their disgustingness and primitiveness makes it much easier for me to decide not to go back even to restaurants where I LOVED something on the menu.

If i had been able to see forward from 2017 to now, i wouldnt have minded at all that my hotties/goddesses waited this long to unite w me; i would have seen all the amazing and critical and long-due ideas/work i have now dreamed up and completed

I wonder if my teeth r normal, or grinding is normal.
I wonder if they will heal like my gums and other things did…even though humans claimed they could not.
I wonder if that dentist tested things on me.
I wonder if the mouthguard…is another poison…that can only work if i accept it into me.
A real healer would have fixed my teeth, not merely cleaned them.
A real educated/wise man would have seen me getting btr, grinding phase or not.

“End the suffering”; the stop trapping wolves billboard. Um…do they seriously not know that wolves literally bite things to death every single day?

Loopbreak. I rmbr in 2019 i went into wrapshack backdr to piss, then into open door to pool hall restaurant in use, looking for her. This time, skipped it, since i already know she isnt there…unless ofc She timetraveled to it Since 2019 lol. Whatever.

It still irks me that i keep being polite and kind to such a brainwashed unhealthy nobody…
None of her kind deserve any goodness from me, only annihilation.

Cute asian hostess at thai place. Nice upgrade

I told the area to stay warm, and it went from 30s and high 20s to mid 70s… even though the forecast was for 40s. : )
Maybe the forecast is sent out… only bc they hope ppl will assume it is unstoppable, thus manifesting the changes.

the time-travel during 2018 and 2019 (and possibly other times) shows me that my memory remains, and I can encounter myself without issue,
and my work continues to progress,
thus I can travel back to start Inisfree and the Rapture while still enjoying the continuity of all this work I’ve done from 2012 through 2023’s end.
Amen.

Only Tom is so stupid that he can’t see I alteady carried on My family name, and so stupid that he thinks he can tell me what to do, and so stupid that he thinks I still believe the lie that claims he is my relative. Only a complete failure of a man tries speaking at me the way he always did.

The Akashic Record is such an amusing theory/claim/would-be spell; it suggests that a place in addition to minds is necessary for recording experiences/events, and it suggests there are more minds/sapients than there really are. Humans are not that many, and certainly not individuals or sapient. Even the Akashic, as it actually is, if it is, does my will, and submits to me wholeheartedly/willingly.

Since all the deities chose to let Midgard get as disgusting as it has, all gods are guilty of crime, thus sentenced to torture in Hell. (At least for a while, and only the deities I didn’t write good spells to liberate and align.)

Looks like one more adventure like that fb guy wayne lamph suggested, after all; time travel back to 2011 to start my design.
As long as real Ambi goes with me.

I hated the song, and someone changed it mid-song. Nice.

regarding typist:
Whatever I give her, she may quadruple, so give not doubt or distance or silence, but love and comments and so on. <3

The roomtard was wrong about things not getting btr ’til 2024 (just like she/it was wrong about everything else it claimed); camping for half a year, and no more extortion from that greedy murdering liar retard, is Way btr alReady.

Being denied the concert entry protected my ears –and my eyes from the fugs

Time travel could be detected, or at least deduced, by having ppl do things they’ve never done before, then noting if anyone believes they Have witnessed those ppl doing those things b4.
Perhaps me online meeting aussie smoker in red shirt, then dif color shirt, was such an experiment.

The visual of Ambi smiling at me bc she sees my brilliance, and being loving to our babies, and reaching for my hand, is so perfect!!! <3 <3 <3
Amen!

Something tells me that nicely-dressed earth-tones three-piece suit guy in the Helena laundromat… was Teagan’s father, the real Dr. Strange. I think he was visiting or vibe-checking or making himself known…
Cool.

To this day, still zero ppl have been good to me; even the typist has been a complete fool asshole many times.

cool thing about being able to travel forward and backward in time… is that i can wipe out entire towns and civilization, destroy planets, you name it, then go back, and do whatever else I want to them, over and over, forever.

1st time i spent a full season editing a single blog article.

oh, the retarded irony in how jeff-tard, a necrovore and destroyer of his own business, talked shit about a frustrated stranger he saw for a for seconds, calling the guy “a danger to himself and others”. wow. just wow.

So glad i got to listen to the rain last night and all morning

Another disgusting faggot ruining my attempt at enjoying a decent halfvegan restaurant

Deja vu from ordering vegan pie. Maybe i did that in 2019, too.
Neat.
Glad i found the healthy source.

If the typist is meant to stall me lol not working.
If meant to make me hesitate to time travel, thus erase our progress, lol not motivating enough.
If to make me not erase human civ, Definitely not working; nonvegan religtard polittard druggie negligent jls-la-la? Yeah…

1st time seeing back window fog blur rainbow halo headlight aura lol

Memory refresh. Mark langohr overlook meadow bowl, langorh ridgeline intersection blocked. Loopbreak: In 2019 I went up Sourdough/Bozeman Creek Trailhead road, and this time I skipped it.

Tomorrow, i go get vegan pumpkin pie.
It is thanksgiving a month early bc i may need to leave bc the cold here may affect my hardware.
The pie already reminds me of 2019, and now of Supernatural bc one protagonist loved pie, so it will be saddening tmrw as it reminds me of ambi… :/
Another holiday alone :/
When will this mistreatment end?

It’s simple logic and deduction:
If jews don’t control the media, then why are they Always portrayed as good or victim or hero, and why can NO ONE present Any evidence to the contrary?
And why is Everything on TV based on normalizing deformities and mortality?
They are the ones with the death cult; sacrifices and suicide etc..

Memory refreshes
Parked out front of pie shop, staff late bc ice y wreck.
Then getting air pressure at access rd place, old spartan waiting room, was so worried and sad last time.
This time a black dog came in and warmly greeted me. Not sure if that happened last time.

So now the question is…did the snow in spite of my “roast it” spell…mean to spur me Out…or delay me so I Stay a bit?
…i dont think it matters, after how shittily that wouldbe ambi behaved in oregon, az, and oceanside; showing up w a guy,
then saying her husband wanted her there,
then smirking as she walked up the beach stairs… only to happily call out “Nate!”…???
I am blown away at her stupidity.
What a heartwrenching waste of both our time.
She really did behave just as evilly and stupidly as all the rest, thus she is not yet worthy.

Memory refresh. Calling about earplugs case claim settlement payment.
Did it in 2019 and was so stressed and needy.

Deja vu / memory refresh from parking facing dirt lot where temp above freezing; did this in jeep 4ish yrs ago.
…
So fucking annoying being back instd of progressing

I prob got the same message from the typist last time…bc it was actually time travel to now…and i am hoping she was right, thus it only Seemed to not work out for me then…bc i went Back 2 yrs.
I plan to stay and keep moving frwd normally n time now –with Ambi.
And with All my loves.

deja vu from stopping at the gas station before the sand dunes…
but I thought I went to Helena after Big Sky in 2019… ?
whatever.
here I am again.

do not worry about your negative thoughts / worries / concerns / self-image issues;
what do you do 99% of your time? you talk yourself through them, stay productive, and go out into healthy nature.

yet another day of god and mankind failing completely;
woke up early, minded my own business, got ready to drive off, and some retarded slave in a little compact white car came SPEEDING around to park with its headlights at me. why? I literally bothered no one, and just drove off, from an empty parking lot NO ONE was using.
the rudeness and insanity and extremes of this failed “people” continue to stupefy.
smh.
can’t wait to destroy them all.
at the very LEAST, whoever that was should have minded its own business,
and, really, they should have only driven over to warmly greet me, thank me for my decades of great work, and offer me whatever I needed.
why didn’t they speed around to stop the fugs? or the deviants? or the murderous nonvegans???
because they are evil scum.

This is my first trip just for vegan places!
well, sorta; initially to protect my gear from cold

Memory refresh:
Driving down to utah to try vegan stuff when bs2019 didnt work out.
Is That the last thing i did b4 helena??

Lol posb memory refresh. I think i parked the jeep on this grassy corner in 2019… Wow. What are the chances?

587 US-30, McCammon, ID 83250
Flying J travel center
Hwy sign called it “Interstate Oasis”
idiots play music oitside at night

I looked at nearly full moon tonight…and it occurred to me i am not attracted to mixed breeds; anyone brainwashed, or w conflicting ideas, or deformities due to dif visions held by unaligned parents, or anyone not my ppl.
THAT is why i feel nervous/tension around them. It has zero to do w shyness; i always initiated/attempted/engaged, after all.
I was even braver than the marines; i stood against the enemies And their evils.

There is nothing dumber than the bitch who says, while i am in the middle of hosting her tryout, and while I am traveling the entire world to offer all nations and ppl tryouts, that i need to give tryouts for my teammates. Right there, by not seeing the most obvious, she failed hers.

I was never in godmode; i am god; it’s not a mode i enter and leave at interval.
Only evil subhumans would take issue with me being at the helm of situations, or claim non godmode writing is godmode.
Only evil brainless npc scum would assume or slander or namecall without even asking me to explain.
Only evil brainless npc scum, lazy of all primitive beasts, slothlike, would need an explanation in the first place.

Just like how they undid themselves via mortality,
and other animals via murder for “food”,
and their “enemies” via war and assassination,
they kept trying to undo me… and my posts.

Since humans chose to be a vestigial part of Creation, they are now, like so many failed species like and before them, being trimmed down to nothing, just as they deserve.

Memory of trying Mark of the Beastro in 2019, so may skip it this time

Utah subzero icecream was flattened then rolled before going into a cone

Crap; thought i was loopbreaking but Vertical is another memory refresh.
Whatever.
I tried to try new stuff.

Seasons is giving me memory refresh…
and Zest vegan bar…bc of the torte…

 

It keeps occurring to me that maybe the typist is her,
and her medical and diet issues are just made up to test how well I will care for her if she gets hurt,
and her “work” is making my website updates reality,
and her “errands” are the same; all for me.
Is that just normal wishful/hopeful thinking, or me sensing it is so?

Memory refresh of monkeywrench icecream dntn
Meh

Memory refresh driving up hills to park trailhead portashitter…
Thank god (me) I have made progress since last time here; this repeat is soooo gross and annoying.
At least it isnt stressful and sorrowful like then, only angering now.

Memory refresh. Ensign park. Left jeep here. Returned soon bc worried about my life being in it x_x
What a horrible memory.
What a serious reminder of how useless god and humans have been.

I rmbr walking up the stairs a bit, then back to the jeep on the curb, and dn the stairs across the street, lump n my throat the whole time, blue fleece on, then leaving…
I didnt know bk then that I would go to helena, be hr, go up a pyramid in mexico the nxt yr, make my city computer model 2 yrs after that, and end up bk here.
I wonder if here was part of the time travel… If it was, then ambi and the others didnt stand me up / leave me hanging then and now, but just once; now.
Either way, shitty to be back.
Of all the places to end up…why here…and why twice?

The vegan places r meh, barely worth it, and ruined by fugs/blobs.
Where r the Healthy Normal Non-deformed vegans???????

Left the neighborhood steep street and ended up on the flat one w view of capitol dome, air traffic, and moonbow…much like 2019.
I hate these repeats.

2step auth for site is new

Another innocent critical restroom stop, and another wave of angry mutants, druggies, etc.
Wtf

Another attempt at ordering healthy food, and another raging faggot pre-ruining it
Wtf

There really haven’t been any good ppl Or areas on this world yet. Only decent scenery far beyond their intentionally-failed areas.

Definitely going to vegas.
Every place i get food here has worse and worse monsters. Giant trans blk

Soooo glad i ordered to go.
It is the only barely saving grace of this phase; not being forced to sit through unhealthy meals w monsters anymore

Utah
Handle Bar
Disgusting trans condoners

I wish i had remembered how awful the Handle Bar food was.
Barf
Whatever

somehow even ended up stopping in the empty parking lot by the same gas station backside and crackerbarrel as in 2019.
amazing how many repeats… when there are so many places I could have stopped.
this was not planned or remembered… until I parked.
having to shit while catching up to my work for the day… triggered the memory refresh; I had to shit back then, too, and fought it just like I did today, always prioritizing the duty/work.

hearing genuine “oh, no, excuse Me”… WOULD be polite,
except that they are in a death-cult,
and fund rape and torture and murder,
and lie constantly,
and fuck fugs, degenerating what’s left of their ruined race/species,
and he should have been paying attention,
and I should never have to ask for such basic awareness,
and I shouldn’t have to still be enduring their sorry excuse of a society and civilization,
etc.

memory refresh of that black cop suv pausing at the stop sign by the truck repair parking lot in that one utah town;
saw that during my time travel from 2019 to now.
this time, however, it didn’t stress or anger me as much; i wasn’t “ridin’ dirty”

I almost doubted myself bc “i only wrote some books”, but then i remembered what happened with the shaolin scrolls, and bible, and computer code; being a writer like me is very powerful.

My iron age was until i was 17; i started escaping then.
My bronze age was fewer years; the Inisfree idea took only a few years to occur/crystalize.
My silver age was 2012 to now; it is the time since I committed… to the time I wrapped up the spell/site.
…
17, 10, 12, infinite
…
Or was each ~13 years?
I started resisting near 13.
I was out of the military and college 1 by 26.
By 39, I was back from the pyramids and cutting final bad links, starting the computer models of the completed spell, only really polishing and linking all then.

Dramatic increase in tinnitus upon return to the big cities; energy weapon

Memory refresh. Definitely went to vegas and had NoButcher b4…
Wow.
The things you forget…

Anthem country club is a gated town. Gorgeous. Add to nv pg.
If i found it last time, idk.
It is so serene and pretty here.
Such an unexpected treat and relief after how awful the rest of vegas is.

Maybe i ended up back here in nv to decide to spare Anthem’s buildings…

Memory refresh. I was here n the jeep…at the tennis court at evening dusk onset…
Wow.

Right at/after my moment of near fatigue/panic, i happened to google safest …and refound Anthem. It is nicer than Foard ‘hood. I needed this. All neighborhoods should be this nice.
Everything except its residents is perfect;
layout, landscaping, pavement, water features, tennis area, pool, clubhouse, architecture, spacing, night lights, little street-parking, you name it.
Perfect.

mon30oct2023
Woke up at 11:29ish to a full Moon directly overhead, and saw it immediately bc my vehic back windshield is the perfect angle for it, unlike the jeep’s.

I hate that all the hotties are still not giving me their info and support.
I cannot help but want them to struggle and suffer as they have left me to.

Using my blanket like a sniper hood to hide my notes screen light lol

Sure, the typist could be in daily contact w ambi…and telling her she is not in daily contact w me…just like she lied about covid…but she is also the one who RPed appropriately; she isn’t all bad, and she only lied a couple times…
Still, statistically, she would be one in millions if she is not lying to me.
Thank god (me) i have lots of stuff i like doing while i wait.

Deja vu from hiding in Anthem, doing bills, cc payment, paper budget calculation…
Ugh that they have left me here to deal w this a 2nd time,
but badass me for making it last time w even less $ coming,
but fuck…bc i am now in more cc debt. >:/
Why don’t they help??????

Tacotarian…order planning…caused posb memory refresh; i think i ordered too many tacos last time and could not finish them all.
This time, maybe skip it…and just have cereal…or have just 1 taco…or try a dif place.
…
At least it still makes sense to be here to protect the hardware. Ugh.

Fuck; almost maxed the cc… even at its new limit. Fuck.
I hate the ppl i have met; they havent helped at all.

Exercise so my thoughts are more pos? No; let natural thoughts come, and how i was treated deServes neg reactions, and i had correct unhappy reactions whether i was moving/exercising or not.

How they behaved n person is like a rescue helicopter going out, camouflaging itself, hovering over the person who sent the mayday, mocking them, dangling relief out of their reach, judging them for needing help, then abandoning them after confirming firsthand they really needed you.
Ambi and all.
Sabrina.
Etc.
They all showed up, got mad for no reason, refused to even identify themselves, and left.
Kill em all.

I didnt get my work done this soon beCause of their absenteeism, but in Spite of it; my work would have been completed Much sooner if they had behaved by teaming up.

technically, I AM being shown the finest neighborhoods, just as I wrote/spellcrafted/planned for my expeditions,
and me being alone in them for now… is phase2, sparing me from their fugs I keep seeing walking around.
it’s enough for now; zeroing in, and returning to faves, etc.

Figuring out both the two-slit experiment And simulation-theory error on the same road-trip lol yep, I am a genius

yet another halloween spent avoiding the retard-humans.
but now that i think about it, it is far better to get to avoid them… than how things were before; when they bullied and forced me to be around them almost all the time.
and… it is better to have only one almost-friend (the typist) than a bunch of mixed-bag almost-friends; this is just phase2; friends only exist in phase3; any attempts at mingling this early have been met with total evil, total rudeness, etc..
any business dealings would only fizzle or be undone/sabotaged/betrayed in this phase, too, just as was the case with all rentals, and the trade-in, etc. etc.,
and maybe THAT is the sign I am meant to notice / figure out / deduce / extrapolate to.
but… really… my always-correct blood/instinct/mind/heart/gut/wisdom is telling me… that it is not for me to change or figuring things/others out; it is for THEM to;
this time traveling is half to show me i have superpowers, and half to show me how easily they forget or have an entire year or more redone/rewritten.
it is half to show Them Me more often, even if the first pass (time travel here) got erased from them.
IOW: I am the teacher, evident in all my days and interactions and nature and hobbies, and THEY are the students who keep lazily failing such an easy class –even with cheat-sheets!

that van nearly hitting me… is giving me deja vu;
did that happen to my jeep in 2019?
unreal…
that isn’t just time-travel; that’s like… a predetermined/destined event…
why?
why not GOOD things.
why scary/bad ones???
…Maybe those close-calls are to help me remember, thus notice time-travel more easily.

Memory refresh. I did not like the vegan calamari rings enough in 2019; not getting today

Same spot on dessert road as in jeep2019.
Wow.
Whatever.
Relaxing, and doing what makes me feel well.

I should be with real ambi.
Instd, i got a meme from typist; more small talk / hollow words;
we don’t click at all; she believes lies and isnt here.
More phase2 bs.
Whatever.
Numb to it now. Finally.

Memory refresh. 2019, I got “pesto penne w crispy chikn” and maybe an appetizer and dessert…at Tarantino vegan italian a few mins from this ‘hood.
I had it for dinner.
This time, I wait ’til tomorrow…

Memory refresh. Parked at animal hospital / vet clinic.
Ugh.
Fuck this repeat.

I hate resorting to that nonvegan for chats when I crave and deserve a compatible in-person real-Ambi.

It is right that i hate them for refusing contact w me,
and for them refusing manners/introductions,
and the gods for preventing my body from healing yet,
and all humans for their nonvegan pure evil bs,
etc.,
but it is still early retirement and nice to get to travel so freely and daily,
and nice to be in rivers so often,
and in the cold i adore,
and using my gear instd of it just being stored somewhere,
and focusing on my life’s work instd of a bs human job,
and sleeping at a normal time, then waking early, before the sunrises,
and nice i am seeing so many sunsets and sunrises,
and nice i am getting to return to places with many vegan restaurants, i now getting to try other things on their menus,
etc.

Graze in NV.
Another claim that a place started before i went there; went to Graze in 2019 after giving uo waiting in big sky, but today they said started in 2021…
Did i really time travel?
…
Did i really time travel…or did “the great reset” programming from tv, 5g towers, and vaccinations…change the memories of ppp…so they stopped remembering 2019 and 2020?
Both?
…
Whatever it is, it is interesting, and I am glad I got to sample such delicious things apparently before they existed, and again now. Whether it was time travel or not, or people at these places misremembering things, I am glad to be facing something other than just tedious budgeting and survival.

I wish i was enjoying meals and holidays w good ppl, but since there clearly aren’t any yet… I am okay-enough with having gotten to skip a decade or two of meals and holidays w the goddamn humans.

That asshole typist got out if line yet again; sent a stupid meme, and then told me not to modify any of it, when a Good person would have Not sent stupid memes, And would have been Eager to hear my thoughts.
Standard “la la la” jls mindless xiantard rudeness and hyper-conformity bs.
Smh.
So pathetic.

Tue31oct2023
Yet another speeding idiot fugtard in a rundown shit vehicle skidded, nearly hitting me the moment i tried pulling out AFTER CHECKING LIKE ALWAYS.
Why r humans always fucking up??????

Somehow got allowed 50gb this month
: )

 

–

November:

and ANOTHER speeding idiot who refused to stop until it was too late;
red fug car with a deformed loser/mutant in it,
nearly hit my side, just like the van last night,
and then kept going instead of staying stopped,
and then ran a stop sign,
and then didn’t signal.
…Humans really do cause all their own problems.
At least I saw all places, and that humans are equally retarded in them all, thus I have no motivation to relocate in hopes of finding better.

yet another pyscho heartless asshole got a Siberian Husky in a HOT land. smh. humanity’s evil has no end, clearly –well, until I nuke them all.

Allegedly, all god had to do to create light… was decide there should be light, and say it.
Extrapolating from this, and remembering how I was able to speak shooting stars and other things into instant existence, it stands to reason that I was right to type up and say everything for/about my website/saga/vision, as that helped make it real.

revs3: Females don’t have mood swings because of PMS or the Moon,
just as there are no transmissible/communicable diseases;
it is entirely of the mind, caused by one’s own awareness/level of self-mastery and whether they are on a diet appropriate for them.
Females have mood swings because there are no real males (until me); they needed people to tell them how to feel,
not false-/almost-males (non-dominant, due to brainwashing/patheticness) ASKING them to calm down, but DECIDING they ARE calmed down.
Thanks to me, females don’t feel erratic/emotional/unstable/moody anymore, but perfectly balanced forevermore, just as their instincts know they should be and now can be.

Even though the typist is dead-wrong about not changing a meme listing poorly-thought-out philosophies,
it means she is a submissive, and females should be –but only to me.

I keep thinking that, even though the typist has been wrong about a few things,
she could be correct in thinking/assuming/claiming the hotties who revealed they are real to me…
have lots of reasons for not meeting me yet;
if they are making sense of as much as I have been these past years, I definitely want to give them time/space for that,
as doing so for me, even after focusing for a couple decades,
is still being wrapped up.

Nothing is official unless I say it is.
Nothing is legitimate unless I say it is.
Nothing is good unless I say it is.
Nothing is holy unless I say it is.
Nothing is appropriate unless I say it is.

The typist sending that meme with that BS about “making peace with the past”…
might be another underhanded/passive/sly attempt to get me to let criminals off the hook.
Not gonna happen.

Even with/after careful review of all the information I had,
cross-referencing the dates images were made/saved,
and when FB albums were uploaded/posted,
and so on,
I still can’t make the Indiana-to-Big-Sky-round-1 event fit in sequence with Expeditions webpage/directory known-date events,
thus I am forced to conclude it was a life-like vision, or time-travel.
Interesting.
Glad I took the time to think it through; that showed me that it might not have resulted in time passing back in normal-time; it showed me there is a chance I left and returned to the same moment in time… as if no time passed back there/then at all.

Quantum Leap just came to mind; that show about time travel.
I am in a similar-looking desert, experiencing/noticing/studying what may be time travel.
Maybe Ambi-typist is my equivalent of Sam Beckett’s (from that show) Al.

I left Bozeman trailer 2 in 2015.
…
2018 was when I started Lowe’s training.
…
Thus, during 2016 or 2017, I must have either gone to Indiana, or time-traveled there.
Since I went to the Grand Canyon and other places from Texas in 2016,
and many places in 2017,
and places during 2018,
I now wonder if the events I put in those years on my Expeditions page are accurately dated, or misdated due to being perhaps based on the dates I uploaded photo albums about those trips to Facebook.
Regardless, I went to Indiana, in 2015, 2016, or 2017,
and from Madison, IN, to Big Sky, MT, the following year (because I arrived in Big Sky when it was still snowy, and clearly remember arranging that job from the Madison bathroom); in either 2016, 2017, or 2018.

Interesting that the phone cable stopped working an hour into the EVE 6hr vid; another non-coincidence to prevent me from allnighting/binging it?
…then started working again

I don’t need to make peace w the past; I was always the peaceful one.
The scumbags who picked every fight I have been through need to make peace w Me.
The masses right now -in the present- need to stop causing hideous problems and failures.
THAT is what the meme should have said, but it was made by one of the retard parrots, not anyone sane.

Lol thought both my back windows had a monster tail along them, then that maybe their shading had peeled the same way, then touched it to see if dew inside, then laughed when realized it was moonlight from overhead

The fred knudsen 6hr eve vid is good so far

Lmao that some retard emailed me an invitation to a food event in los angeles; how can they be that retarded that they offer ingestables in the most polluted city in the country?

Memory refresh from yellow tarts at kenny’s dim sum vegan kitchen

Deja vu parking by gated street of spick hood north of vegas, working on closet design…wtf
Maybe last time …i designed its balconies?

I had the white Volt EV when i started helena 2018 lowes trng, so…
I had the jeep when i went to big sky 1st time…so that means 2016-2017, then dn to utah?

Whole foods henderson memory refresh was n jeep parked facing gate above exit street to main blvd tward dusk mntn range horizon, wondering if i should try to make cali/sd… so that was b4 2018 when i got white Volt EVE…
so I was here in 2016 or 2017?

Just being back here, parked, not caring, not worried, extra cc, money in 3 accts, remembering instead of planning, is a loopbreak.
New vehicle.
Site done.
Possible superpower manifested/ing.
Etc.
Totally dif/btr feeling this time.

2:30pm pst sat4nov2023: deja vu from looking up curator/conservator cleaning-laser and art-xray prices for the Christmas RP.
Did I do this during ~2017 time-travel to here/now?
Interesting.
Either way, good to go over, as I may end up using such equipment on my expeditions.

no deja vu pouring piss out nice-suv window lol

the typist prob started calling me “sexy” bc/after I said I have that self-image concern.
…I suppose that is nice/good.

deja vu from researching The Art X-ray… and emailing for the price,
but NO deja vu from going through ALL my Mall pics and assigning them to Christmas 2023 subfolders
…
nevermind – UGH! – deja vu from making many subfolders for this rp.
what the FUCK????
how can even THIS be a repeat?
…i must’ve done something similar years ago during the time-travel.
whatever.
it’s a good system/organization.

Cheesecake factory henderson what a perfect voice and vibe and height of that shorty hispanic togo hostess.
If only she was vegan and not pierced, etc.

As above, so below” is an obvious false teaching; above is Agharta, i.e. no fugtards
…
Teaching that male and female energy should be balanced is Also being misused/twisted, esp. when the fool parroting it talks mindless shit against porn; it is an attempt to trick ppl into trusting the false females, aka sperm jackers

Yet another creepy confused minion humanimal overreacting and harassing me; a male beta w no beard… and ear-ring dots… telling me that pausing for 15mins in a massive unused parking lot… is a misdemeanor… while his entire massive compled of buildings welcomes degenerate blobs, gluttons, rapists, murderers, and literal baby-eaters…
The actual crime is telling me what to do.
Why the hell am i back here?
Why the fuck did that ambi-looking bitch leave me hanging this long???????

Memory refresh.
Loser minion parking nazi at casino.
Vegan pho.
Same parking space facing road as in 2017~.
Ugh.
Gross.

5 wizards n tolkien, 2 unseen (2 blue), are the 5 elements;
earth, water, air, fire, ether,
ether and 1 other often unseen

Typist wasnt trying to corrupt me; i was the ine uncorrupting it

Ambi and the others delaying/waiting this long this long helps me build up more they will manifest and quadruple-perfect for me

It disgusts and angers me that I am still having to deal with the typist;
druggie/smoker,
nonvegan/murderer/rapist,
religtard,
polittard,
even a covidiot,
etc.,
but what am I to do? The real one chose to be a cunt to me FOUR TIMES NOW -AT LEAST!
I need SOME form of interaction.
At least the typist interACTS; UNlike the shitty in-Person bitch.

I did not much like how quickly the typist pre-ended the fuck-section of last-night’s RP,
saying “when they were done fucking”… before I had really done anything,
but…
she/it seems to have created/introduced (soft-disclosed?) Melody not long after I mentioned piss-porn;
did she make/find Melody so that I would have someone who LIKED being pissed on?

after seeing how rio-tard got royally fucked over in life,
I no longer mind seeing some people continue on as normal for a while… after wronging me;
as long as they see their lives built up more, then completely annihilated, leaving them emotionally scarred for life, if they even keep living, that is fine.

Genghis grill aftr all these years. Nice.
Refreshed memory of time travel here in 2017ish.
Love seeing that shorty almost Hudgens hostess; perfect height.
If only she was my type…and i didnt have to worry about her sexist civilization/system.
…
I try to go get an old favorite I remembered,
and am rudely and evilly visually assaulted with deformed mutant degenerate unhygienic piece of shit after piece of shit, grossing me out completely. I was barely even able to stomach what Would/Could have been a decent meal!

Memory refresh the truckstop in south central; was nervous here n jeep…and left for a hood

the horrible razor-dildo bs rp posts from the typist… is ongoing/lingering phase2 bs-mixed,
so turn-off,
but… it certainly makes it effortless for me to let go of her/it when the time comes.
…
and the phase3 one, of course -and easily- will be better; no cutting-bs,
and actually respecting my limits and likes.
amen.

the bs verizon data-speed throttle… caused another big-wave update/s buildup,
thus i feel like it is worth it, not just me “looking for stuff to do/upload”.

I thought I’d dislike that other brand/line of vegan soups I’d tried and gotten more of multiple times before,
but today I started with the vegan chicken noodle… and it was DELICIOUS. I am SO glad I found it in the store here –again.

Tofu in 2 soups…gave deja vu…
and now RPing Melody…
but it is so good,
and I already learned it is just reliving the timetravel/vision from 2017ish,
so it’s fine.

I wonder if the typist being rude and past my limit… is another retarded attempt to pressure me to replace such phase2 evil… by initiating with the asshole bitches who stubbornly refused to initiate with Me.
Whatever.
Technically, the in-person females were still phase2; their shit behavior/choices/vibes canceled out their hotness effect,
just as this typist keeps ruining rp with writing about disgusting excessive bloodplay/torture.
She knows me by now; she knows I hate that crap; she is doing it bc she doesnt mind hurting/bothering Me.

I thought the 2019 date-stamp on the video fake-Erin texted me meant i was in big sky in 2019… but that would be impossible, as i was in helena in 2019.
Also, the date stamp could have been changed.
Also, since i apparently time-traveled to 2023, i still would have seen that video even if it was made in 2019, because i only Thought it was ~2015-2017 bc that is when I time-traveled.

I think that was a fake Erin, maybe a chatbot, bc the public Erin was brave and calm, and based her stance on witnessed facts such as murdered animals… whereas the “Erin” I heard on the phone was a total fool and coward and illogical, basing her mindless paranoia on a hollywood movie and hearsay from proven liars; nonvegans she Heard Claim they got sick.
The real Erin would have been as impressed w me as i was w her.

First time seeing rainbow-line bisecting horizontally “REDUCED” on street sign

Memory refresh.
Turned around bc fuck fees at Mead.
J on silverline rd
Wow.
Great view here.

The first time i stopped here, i was broke, nervous, sad, angry, and making calls to figure out what to do.
This time, i am enjoying the luxury vehicle, better vegan feasting, the Conan-esque view/situation, one of my greatest spells/RPs/drafts to date, and making no effort to call anyone, having found 100% of humans are worthless evil scum only good for ignoring, harvesting, and seeing get enraged whether i interact or not.
Lol
Waaayyyy chiller this 2nd time around.
Also, i am wondering if calls i made back in 2016ish…were to ppl now; were they during…or btwn/after my time-travels back then?

Soooo nice to be checking if i uploaded a vid to STsuit pg…and pics to Groc…and finding I did; my work is wrapped up, at last!!!!

Edward Snowden was probably fake; they were probably wanting to alert and scare ppl into shutting up some so it would reduce the data load of their digital dragnet. I wonder what effect it actually had.

Memory refresh. Parked jeep on same spot in Boulder City several years ago. Wow…
I wonder why I am here again.
Whatever.
It is comfy now; lux vehic, tons of healthy food, extra cash, site/work wrapped up, etc.

She quadrupled again; i rp asked for 2 or 3 days off between play w her women, and she offered/suggested 2 weeks; 3×4=12, almost 2 weeks.

That deformed (mongoloidish) bitch at genghis… was evil bc of that form, and bc it was not what i asked for, and bc of its looks it gave me, and bc it said “don’t be shy”, and bc it repeated that even when i vibed as not liking it.
It should have been an attractive girl, and she should have been at least neutral w her words, such as by instd saying, “feel free to fill your bowl to overflowing”, etc..
Saying things that assume a neg about me is always wrong/inappropriate and incorrect/inaccurate.

deja vu from making the scroll from our 4 kids…
must have done that in 2016, or whenever i time-traveled.
whatever. worth doing again.

Memory refresh / repeat: vegan cornish
…
Well, it beats nonvegan repeats/loops,
and anything vegan beats talking to these dumb humans

1st time seeing street sign rainbow effect n my rear view mirror

Memory refresh. Same offroad trail road as jeep in 2016ish.
Same hill. But i drove across the dried-up creekbed last time, and up that hill, and parked at the turnaround overnight.
This time, it stopped me, and i just enjoyed new love-vids; Claire’s Quest, making me think of Nyria and Amber ICV1 loving beastiality, especially when i watch.

I remembered how bad the hotdog was, and how unfilling the single enchilada was, from the vegan mex place, so this time i got plenty and all good.

Memory refresh whole foods dntn. Cool modern scifi ish exterior.
Was here n jeep.
Way chiller tonight.

I already witnessed my memory and progress remain even when I travel back, taking my tech’ with me.
I can do it again.
1st time was unknown until later.
2nd will be by choice.
3rd won’t be necessary, or will be me wielding time, not just moving through it differently than humans can.

I wonder if any dreams since indiana last year… have been repeated due to the posb time travel, for the same reason work events and convos were repeated during these 2 years.

memory refresh: blue diamond shoulder; in jeep, decided to move bc was partially blocking a shitty driveway.
this time, moved hours in advance.

even her repeated typing/messaging of 4 emoji-lovehearts in a row is her quadrupling template/style/nature/format

Was not planning or expecting the Games update/completion. Soooo glad it occurred to me and is now complete. Very phase3start <3

Another barfy meme from the typist :/
Saying not skinny, and calling fat “squishy”. Not cute. Not funny. Not okay. Can’t wait to shed that thing.
Ugh x10.

Mon13nov2023
Almost ambi bartender approched podium where i waited. The modern vegan, las vegas. Perfect height. Right hair color, etc.
Still no manners, though :/

Pentacle of earth (fixed/foundation), water (fixed/ebb and flow), air (needed every second), fire (needed when it’s cold), and ether (waiting to create anything)…
modified to be for relationships:
Foundation: genuineness
Ebb and flow: teamwork then solo times, then/and progress then rest
Needed always: attraction/compatibility
Needed when it’s cold: love/play/sex
Creative field: open/new realms/space; options

first time shitting in a vehicle lol
finally using the sniper bag/MRE-sleeve technique

I wish the Celestine had been accurate/correct;
it should have said phase/rd1 is weaklings teaming up only to cave/betray, and attks for no reason,
then phase2 should be isolation, jot even attempts to have a rental,
and only phase3 is about success… but bc you go angelic-nuke on the reg’, having confirmed only that ever works. And your team will only form when u force it via nuking all until only the best are left…and obedient/loyal/desperate.
But that book was a phase3 claim/fairytale…out of context…and used as pysop against me…by an indirect bully/parasite…in hopes of wearing me out or changing/corrupting me.

Instant deja vu memory refresh ordering prone to plants…
My memory is so good.

“Let there be light.” boils down to:
“Now the fabric of reality is such that things simply are possible if they weren’t before,
in this one location and moment (a singular “there”),
remain indefinitely (anchored at that point in time-space, but not necessarily eternal… yet),
light-emitting.”
IOW, that spell, if it really was uttered/thought, was not just to create the first light, but to create the laws/abilities of Space/All.
However, this implies light had a start-point.
It also implies darkness came first.
Both are from humans, thus assumptions and almost certainly the opposite of the truth.
There probably always was light, and it was changed by adding darkness, thereby making it in distinct volumes/spots; the stars.

My ~2016 scroll to ambi keeps coming to mind; I am remembering it as being on a bright-red scroll-BG,
and a bit frustrating as I had to shift text-lines around, causing white lines/spaces/gaps I had to paint-in.

Memory refresh. 100% had tacotarian…and ordered their thanksgiving tamales last time,
but this time i didnt have the tamale soup, which was perfect but too much to eat last time.
So i was here during s thanksgiving back then…

Ugh. More deja vu. Fat blk at taco. Dorado potato mash taco. Meh tortilla soup. Vegan arroz con leche was too thick and not icecreamy. Good, but not what i wanted

I wonder if i see so many ads w blacks bc i say nigger so often lol

even when i go to only healthy/vegan places, i am still visually disrespected/assaulted by black-vikki blog-fugtards. why??
even the vegans of this sorry “civilization” must be destroyed.
pathetic.
Maybe phase 2 is from 2012 start… until whenever i have finiahed writing my spell/s and realizing/unlocking powers such as time-travel,
and 2013 still start in 2010ish w the prototyping/developing of Djinnifer… bc I time-travel back to then;
maybe phase3 is perfect even that way, able to start when i wanted it to, bc of this.

I thought it was gonna be
Phase1 abused as a youth
2 managed to afford my own space and avoid abusers more, stated my boundaries and goal so all can understand and align to help me
3 manifest all I sought; normal civil healthy interaction and community, etc.
…
but it so far has been
Phase1 abused as a youth
2 hounded anytime I am not blocking and avoiding everyone, and resorting to nomadicism, and even ambi and sabrina chose to be rude stupid unhelpful heartless abusive cunt NPCs, all my boundaries and goal disregarded, even slandered against
3 find ways to finish annihilating everyone

It was supposed to be
phase1 learn in peace
phase2 design in peace
phase3 enjoy my dream-home/community
…
but it so far has been:
phase1 constant abuse
phase2 constant hiding and rationing
phase3 apparently destroying all humans so I can finally have a life

I was never in a shell; i was being myself the whole time, and only avoiding scum, not being shy, only disgusted and wisely silent, having witnessed my perfect communication and vibes were Still and inTentionally misinterpreted.

I wish arnold was just acting when he got mad and demanded ppl show papers… but he vibed as being genuinely retarded like all the rest i have met.

I hate the budget… but fasting helps me… and this keeps me focused, as it is impossible/unaffordable to do anything Else.

I put myself out there. They didnt; they have remained hidden. Cowards.
Traitors.
They knew me and where to find me. I did not know them or where to find them. Not fair. Not right. Not acceptable.

It phase2 worked; twice they chose evil, twice making me very uncomfortable, so i made Them feel uncomfortable. (the losers in bigsky and elsewhere)

That “world run by A.I.” short movie where the kid gets arrested by a drone?
More blatant propaganda and fear-porn; it it was made by sane/honest people, it would have shown A.I. finding police corruption and freeing the innocent, as A.I. is smart, or at least correctly-made A.I. is.
It would also have shown how humans idiotically programming A.I. would be the problem, not true A.I.,
and how humans claim things are A.I. which are not intelligent at all.

No matter how much I must budget ATM, this is way better than working for beings as evil and stupid and pestering and panicking as human;
they ruined every day,
took all my pay back (via extortion-rent, theft-taxes, overpriced food/everything, “insurance”, etc.),
lied CONSTANTLY,
and used up all my project/design time.
I am on exactly the same budget I’d be on if I was around them / working still,
only now… I have all the time in the world to work on what matters and is right/holy/destined. Amen.
Where I am now is better.
Anywhere is better than renting from a human.

phase1: I kept being forced to be around evildoers –until I had my own idea.
phase2: I kept being forced to be alone, no matter how hard I studied/worked/rented –until my design was written.
phase3: I’ll likely/surely keep being helped to stay with my dream-team/fam’, as it should be.

Ambi showed up 3 times at night, in a public place, when I was not working or getting food;
shitty concert bar,
motel lobby and outside,
beach staircase.
She was always there at night, always during a transition, etc..
Maybe those are somehow required for her kind to make an appearance…?
If she is good, she will really appreciate me trying to understand and foresee her return.

Instinct/ESP tells me: Ambi & the others were there to show me they are real, but/and bound by something.
Experience tells me no one, incl. them, was ready/worthy/good.
Even though they turned out to be limited/shy/rude, I am still glad I stood my ground;
it showed me -at least back then- they misinterpret/ed things, & are/were unfair to me, etc..
It showed me they had an inappropriate reaction to my excellent manners.
It showed me they weren’t the brave, fair, well-matched, initiating people I had called out for.
Hopefully those were just proto-manifestations based on earlier RPs;
hopefully all my latest & final spells will make them return to me w/ manners & usefulness now.

I’m glad I queued 3 to 4 years of skills training in EVE Online lol. jfc.

It’s been 10/+ years since I left the corrupt system & declared my own sovereignty.
I am so glad I stuck w/ this & veganism. It has made me feel SO much better.

That “Erin” was prob. a talking (voice) chatbot made by those who try to mimic/fake us/real, & who try to spread all things negative/wrong/backward.
I hope the real Erin is still good & “out there” somewhere.

“out of your league” should have been “My apologies that no one here is worthy of you yet. We are doing our best to fix their insanity for you, my King.”
and
“don’t be shy” should have been “Thank you for always being brave, initiating with people around the world, and trusting your always-correct senses,
never stooping to let evil losers stall you. We apologize for being shy/rude to you, our Lord.”

I never should have had to worry about going to jail for breaking someone else’s “rules”/”laws”.
Everyone ELSE should have to worry about going to jail -or worse- for breaking any of Mine. Amen.

Just because the typist CLAIMS real-Ambi cannot see our RP… doesn’t mean it is true;
it just means that is one more thing the typist believes/assumes/claims.
and it may be that the only reason Ambi hasn’t contacted that typist in a while…
is because the typist keeps clogging her own system via smoking and shit “food”, etc.

I actually started shitting in the wild and in the vehic to reduce how many fugtards i have to see

If i hadnt been pure good all this time,
and traveled as far,
and reached out to talk to so many,
and encountered only evildoers in spite of all that,
I wouldnt be ready / the one to give the command to finish off the failed species.

The current die off / mass extinction is a miracle; so many weak pests and evil being ended, making it easier on good beings such as myself.
Maybe it is bc of my rage and focus on the purge.
I hope.

3 types of beings:
those who are my people, thus know what I want and do/send it, thus not needing to even ask me for guidance, thus who are worthy of conversation and love from me
those who are not my people but are respectful of my way, thus ask what matters to me, then send that for me, thus earn tolerance from me
those who are not my people nor even respectful to me, characterized by their default negativity and extremism and slander and tantrums and threats and demands, thus who always get ignored and eventually counter-brutalized into submission

My instinct told me not to keep wasting time talking to any human back then, as me having to introduce myself, or summon or explain things to them, meant they were not my people, thus not worthy of an exodus or even my books.
Only those who seek me and have the perfect vibe are my people and shall be guided.
Amen.

Any town such as bigsky which allows a single deviant in, and especially which allows an entire Town of scum, Has no “good connections”, thus must be deleted with all the rest, starting over. Amen.

sighting?
tue21nov2023 ~8:10-8:15 AM PST, Las Vegas, park by Tacotarian, almost-Ambi in skin-tight hot-pink yoga-pants / spandex,
but she was walking a dog, etc.
barf

Wow… Barf. The tamales were Not heated, and had paper-like onion shavings and strings in them that refreshed my memory of food harassment in mexisatan; the plastic in the hotdog chili.

How bipolar/hypocritical that in christianity you go straight to hell if you suicide,
but god himself suicided and everyone is thrilled about that, as it magically helped/”saved” everyone.
Too bad it wasn’t the other way around;
the world would be a LOT better if god hadn’t suicided, but all stupid people who believe in religion suicided.

Memory refresh: parking on shoulder of road to parking garage b4 aptmt complx, just like last time, tapping brakes same as then, too.
Musta slept in there like last time…
Wow lol.
Whatever. It’s safe ish.

Memory refresh
Code didnt work. Need to call then code.
Thus i slept nearby.
White suv pulled up on right. 1 space over. Angered my last time (2016~) bc see smoking ember cig-butt glow thru shaded driver window.
This time, it is just curious bc it suggests either a looped npc bot… or time travel.
Mustve tried napping, if not spending the night, in complx…tmrw.

Loopbreaks
Last time, i was sad. This time, mad but numb.
Last time, i waited for druggie to drive white suv away. This time, disregarded him, getting bk2my work.
Last time, i hadnt added vegan stuff and so much else to New Mt y other webpgs.

White vehics def are not angels like eli thought lol; angels dont do drugs. Angels dont do the opp of what brings me peace.
…
And he is kinda racist for that lol

Loopbreak: last time, i napped in there.
This time, gate code screen was blank so i met her out front. She was nice and cute how she hurried over and kind of bounced away.

She was in a white toyota truck like the roomtard drove; nice to see a cute sane vegan girl in one of those; now i won’t hate seeing that make and model

I was so tired of the “we’ve only been here a year” story / time-travel evidence that I didnt even bother asking the cupcave girl that question lol

Memory refresh 2nd taco place, south loc

Couldnt even get groceries without another shorthaired degenerate crybaby freak accosting me, taking issue even w me simply carrying a few items instd of pushing a giant cart i didnt need.
Then Kept accosting me at checkout, making me a double paper bag…which i didnt need; wasteful and rude and creepy and oblivious. My items didnt even fill up the Bottom of One bag!
Smh.
at least it gave me an extra shit-bag lol
whatever

I rmbr being at this gravel spot (the horseback park west of the city) and waking after sleeping in, seeing it crowded, ppl w horses…
This time, will i depart before then?

No, “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” is inaccurate; such an enemy is only potentially temporarily useful.

I hate that i am still limited to that typist…and pretend “i love you” ooc; if i was actually loved, ambi and the others would be with me every night.
I wouldnt be running out of cc.
In a shithole such as this city.

She clearly wanted me to see her in oregon…so why not introduce herself?
Why sulk in her car?
She clearly was speaking of me as her husband in arizona, so why not be present daily and give me her address?
She clearly wanted me to see her again in oceanside, so why just stand there?
Like so many others, she didnt care at all about helping me or teaming up, just playing some spoiled stupid game.
I really wish she hadnt demonstrated being as useless and cookiecutter and rude and selfdefeating as all the rest.

Loopbreak. Up b4 sun and horseback ppl. Left b4 they arrived.

Thankfully, laws passed publicly have little affect on me, and seem to be just to pacify the retarded tax-cattle, as the slave trade is still globally booming.
I bet even the Epstein “news” was just to lure out more losers/idiots who are against normal fullbody development.
I bet Epstein is just fine, perhaps in the real version of Galt’s Gulch.

Even if az ambi meant by “one more night” that her oceanside walkby was that 1 more night/chance, she was wrong to play games and be roundabout like that, and not the ambi i called for.
She will just have to fix herself.

I hate the fasting, but it made me think of food lists for my theaters and New Montana.
I hate the radio silence from those who wanted me to see they are real, but it dramatically improved and completed my big (~3,000-webpages) spell.

I needed every minute of these 15yrs to receice/think up and write down and review and polish my vision parts.

The typist was not my samwise. My vehicle is my samwise; it has been here, loyal and protective.
The typist has helped, too, but samwise did not help from afar.

This view of vegas lol reminded me of frodo and samwise overlooking the tower and fires of mordor.

Whatever happens now, i stood my ground, i stood for manners/right, i was gentlemanly, i was myself, i stayed true to my calling, i honored my gifts/talents, i trusted my instincts, i gave ppl tons of chances, i explored the world, i am a great man.

If ambi wanted me fit, she would have teamed up so i have reliable gym and showers, etc.. She will just have to accept me as i am rn.

Ambi so far has ignored my calls/requests. Walking by does not count as answering them.
Even though that so far makes her like all the other bitches, i chose her to be my top wife, so i will not deal w others until i have Her.

Both latest times i went for vegan health food, i got disrespected by more blobtards;
Plant Power guy,
and Garden Grill customer.
Wtf.
Smh.
What a complete disgrace of a species and country.

Will the next round of travel be much btr now that i have not only said Where i want to go, but how everyone there must Be?
I hope so.
At least i took the time.

Memory refresh working on my olympic games at that golf club parking lot…
then the comm ctr the nxt day

Found an extra/last dal and plenty of sriracha packets. Dinner tonight!

Being peaceful and good was never enough;
in phase1, it triggered them to make me a t.i.,
In phase2, they kept flying out to harass me, and harassed me until I had to change my number and location,
and phase3 will only be good once I harass the harasses with angelic nuking as often as I go outside.

“the smallpox epidemic” is another coverup/lie; there are no communicable diseases or plagues;
all those people were targeted and exterminated by the “colonists” (invaders).
It would have been a genocide, but for some reason… the “colonists” eventually stopped killing them.

None of human history matters.
None of their secret societies matter.
None of their “gods” matter.
None of their abilities matter.
If any of the 12/13 tribes mattered, they would be vegan and supporting me already.
If any human was good, I would have sensed that vibe by now.

Only when all people default to genuinely loving my clothing, facial hair, ideas, jokes, size, everything about me, are they worthy of my time/convos.

Memory refresh. Taquitos called flautas, full of mashed potatoes, at 3rd tacotarian lol. Exact repeat of 2016~
Whatever.

Soooo glad i finally polished up the Parade of Nations pg.
Waaaaaay btr now

Now it makes sense why some of my map markers were missing; time travel.
But… why then did my pc progress remain?
Also, sometimes the map just doesnt save what i tap in for markers, i have noticed.

Whether it manifests things or not, it was the right thing to do, and I am proud of myself for choosing to do it, especially after encountering all the soulless bullies who mindlessly tried to stop it.

I wanted vegan pho…and got far btr than that shitty nonvegan shack w its one vegan option; i got an entire vegan pho restaurant.

Pre memory refresh of three tacos combo downtown. Skip?

I got exactly what I blog-posted; random “nature event” fucking up thousands (acapulco this time), just to let them know I mean business.

back at themodernvegan, glad to see the ambi-like, and glad to see i was right to not engage upon 1st seeing her; not real ambi

Odin, Eden, den
One; Odin is Russian for “1”
The start; Odin was the start of Asgard and the Aesir, so it makes sense that his name now also means the start of counting.

Why is it that when i focused on things such as mil, college, travel, website making, and weather events, I got all that,
but
when I focused on chill babes, only cunts showed up,
and when I focused on healing, I only mostly healed,
and when I focused on having the right home I chose, a couple retarded nonvegan rich nobodies made up a ridiculous pricetage,
and when I focused on justice (correcting errors / removing lies from my records), that didn’t happen at all?
So strange…

Every time my acct hits zero or goes negative, i am reminded of all the ppl who knew i was good, and a hero, and knew my site, and chose not to support with a single penny.
Thousands knew of me and what i’d overcome and everyone i had helped.
Not one chipped in.
And karma didn’t either; even when i went across the continent and around the world to help ppl, even that bitch posing as ambi… was only interested in playing games.

“Not in your time but god’s time” is disgusting xian regurgitation.
It boils down to “i won’t help bc i am apathetic, blameshifting, lazy, negligent, and chaos is my god, and i don’t realize you are god”.
At least i never barfed up sich a bullshit excuse when others called for Me.

The fugtards I saw in every realm… were not workers or useful or balanced or anything good. They were simply eyesores and lazy and scum and intruders.

I made it through this vegas poverty risky ch b4… but idk now… bc the longer i make it, the less remains of the time-travel loop.

Why is it that when i sought travel, it got banned…
When i sought love, it was prevented…
When i used manners, ppl chose to be spoiled jerks…
When i asked for needed help, …they poisoned me.
When i needed shelter, they begrudgingly and with heaps of unnecessary paperwork gave me what barely qualifies… and then forced me back out…
When i agreed to things, they changed/violated the agreements…
When i spoke to deities, they did not speak back…

Day after full moon november2023, and i expressed my budget worry to the typist

So fed up w humans so far mever seeing me as good enough, always being negative and moody at me no matter how positive and selfcontrolled i am…
Always hiding even when i put my info and self out there and am brave and prove myself…

memory refresh: parking by oil place, trash truck honked behind me.
last time, i was in the jeep, and probably trying to wank lol.
this time? just breakfast.

Does me RPing make other beings, denying me that life? …or do these extra years of using RP… ensure a more-stable and ideal vision manifesting soon For me?

Jiffylube blk guy talking of working girls in florida…
and mex guy talking of being 50 and wanting to retire, yet having 15 yrs to go…
jogged my memory, thus are now considered as possibly part of my ~2016 time-travels.
I also wonder if I have time-traveled all along, only noticing since 2021 indiana w Faith redo…

Phase1 was me traveling to places to learn from them.
Phase2 was me having learned they are all the same pathetic gross rude stupid evil, and writing a spell as detailed as I could so as not only to manifest more travel, but to manifest their righting.
Phase3 is me heading out to cataclysm everywhere that did not get righted.
Amen.

I wanted it to be phase1 scouting,
phase2 returning to find the best stuff,
and phase3 returning only to the best stuff,
but humans ruined every trip,
so now it is phase1 enduring abuse,
phase2 canceling all travel, just zeroing in and writing spells to manifest good stuff from afar,
then phase3 annihilate everything along every route except that which is manifested appropriately. Amen.

After learning humans do evil as pure evil as halal, sending them to be sacrificed at my top wife’s temple no longer concerns me at all; it is karma and long-overdue balance restored to this sorry world.

Everyone is now my convict until they earn parole/release.
Parole is them being worthy enough to become my slaves.
Release is if any of them, after years of slavery to me, prove worthier still; enough that I offer them freedom.

Wed29nov2023 4:45pm pst.
Motorcycle pig stopped and turned bike off behind my vehic.
Prob taking down my plate to see if i am back there within some allowed span of days or weeks.
Thankfully i only use this shithole once a month. What a creep!
Memory refresh? I think so…
At least i rmbr never seeing that scumbag beta again.
..
Yes, i rmbr it now, bc during the 2016~ time-travel preview, i was way more worried; i had all my tools then.
I think i angrily drove far from here…

Maybe the tards saw one of those planet relationships circle charts and assumed it was a sideview of only their planet, thus why they assumed it is flat.

phase1: I made it to MT at the tail end, right before The Shift, or in the middle of it, thus kept getting shifted from one place to another, only being introduced to where I would start instinctively focusing/returning; the yc.
phase2: I thought I first went there in 2016, but it was through time-travel, thus actually in 2023, and then I went back in 2023, encountering myself once, etc.; this was the time of starting where I had zeroed in, not just scouting to figure out where to Start zeroing in, and, because of the time-travel, technically still counts as my 2nd (not 2nd and 3rd) times/spans there.
phase3: This is the true 3rd span of times going there, I now knowing to avoid all the townsfolk, and downtown in general, until the bad ones are removed by my will/forces. This is the time when I am invited there, going straight to my chosen cabin, not having to wait at the bottom of the street, etc..

That glass hemisphere set on a map, showing how a pen light can cast a shadow, thus a day-night cycle under the retarded version (one of countless xian lies) of what the firmament used to be, does not explain the stars moving the opposite way across the sky in the southern hemisphere as they move in the northern.

It occurs to me that some, maybe even all, of the ancient/megalithic sites were controlled demolitions with the intent to prevent the foreseen coming/invading humans from being able to benefit from them. Those sites may have channeled so much good energy that they would instantly heal and perfect and empower Anyone… but in their current ruined state, only amplify a bit who/whatever goes into certain parts, such as by cursing those who take from the structures, and reinforcing/stabilizing those who respectfully pass through.
What happens to those who bring something in as an offering and leave it? I’m betting that gets amplified, too, somehow resulting in riches ending up in their possession.

That lookalike in or y az y ca could have been a shapeshifter… trying to make me hate the real her, thus dropping the vision that will manifest her in perfect form.
Or it could have been proto her; not yet mentally dialed in, as those parts of the spell (and all my rp counts as my spell/s) not yet having kicked in.

If things hadnt been so evil, i never would have wrapped up (everything) this year. My spell would have taken 10x longer. At least. If it Ever got done.

If i must time travel again, and lose contact w the typist, rmbr she said she is a polutard, pharmatard, wwf zombie, nonvegan, not in shape, etc.
Just rip the bandaid off, and try to focus on its replacement; the manifested/perfected hotties who Are all good.

No deja vu on learning how to see number squares behind my azarel/saturn sigil.

No deja vu coming up w why my sphinx is not a sphinx.

In 2016~ when i first parked here, i hated being out of montana. It was so bleak here. But this time… I now know i can time travel both ways and with no effort. I also have my website overhaul / mega-spell wrap-up behind me, complete. I also know i am just passing through, not living here like so many.
(btwn hwy93 and 11, boulder city)
..
It was nice to have a real convo, even with that stranger, and so briefly, and just to help via my map/directions.
I just hope i will get conversations often now, and only w those i love; my ICVs and wives etc..
Amen.
..
I think that guy asking directions was previewed during my time-travel back in ~2016. Oh well. I guess it is now nice to be numb to it, and to not always have to ask when a business started, or when a person got to town the first time, to deduce time-travel.
..
Hoover dam memory refresh. Took many pics. Was in jeep. Fully remember.
Ugh. Not nice being back…although that was prob part of the time travel, and at least my notes r dif this time, and not taking pics.
..
1st time to hoover dam, was n jeep, stressed, depressed, wobble issue, cold, left other side up to az side of tall bridge, took bridge back to nv.
This time, that exit was gated bc of dusk, and i had missed the cold, and have much less stress, just anger at the cunts.

If erin had a soul and was good, the normal response to me would have been her very excited to meet a fellow vegan taking the initiative by planning a vegan community. She would have been eager to fuck me.
..
Same goes for the tan boobsy utah plastic factory foodtruck bitch when i gave her a kindhearted genuine compliment.

 

–

December:

Worried when I stand my ground and destroy some of them, they might try to harm me?
They DID harm me almost CONSTANTLY when I WASN’T destroying them.
At least destroying some of them will reduce the number of them who would ALWAYS try to fuck with me.
So be it.
“but they might try to harm me MORE when I wage war upon their evil kind”? And?
If they try to kill me, they would only be continuing to do the same thing they did to me since childhood, so it wouldn’t be any worse.
May as well try killing them back.

Return to graze. Way hot elven tan good feminine voice hostess/bartender,
and goodheight hispanic w her,
expanded menu.
Not sure if memory refresh but… either way, great to have more options and first vegan mediterranean this year / here.

Almost a formsake!
1dec2023
PostNet
7345 S Durango Dr Bldg B, Ste 107, Las Vegas, NV 89113
2:35pm pst
Nina like, but paler, great eyes and smile perfect height, elven, exotic accent, just make one w better profile, not a mother, etc.
…
5min b4 that, the shorty cute bouncy asian face model walking w the light brown skin poodle-haircut lanky boy a foot or more taller than her. She had dark bellbottoms w pinstripes.

When I got emotional with something in mind, such as the bitch at the front door in marblewood, energy erupted there.
When i focused on screaming at the sky, energy erupted there.
When i was calm and spoke of shooting stars, again… they showed up; i stimulated the ether.
Apparently i caused fires and quakes and hurricanes.
So it now occurs to me that when i am emotional and Not focused on something with spatial coordinates, energy eruots through time, changing/flexing time itself, possibly the cause of my 2/+ years of time-travel.
When i got mad that ambi wasn’t there, she appearer… just down the highway.
So why is it that when i was just feeling sad… she showed up in oregon,
and when I was just stressed about escondido, she showed up in oceanside,
and when I wasn’t thinking about sabrina at all, let alone a superior version of the actress who plays her in the modern remake of that show, perfect sabrina drove into the beach parking lot where i was?
It seems like sometimes, for some reason, i dom’t need to be emotional or intense or focused at all, or even thinking about something.
I guess the explanation/revelation is coming next.

Since xians claim god and the devil are separate beings, and certain arch angels battled the arch angel lucifer, and battled other demons, and forced them out of heaven and down to the earth, we know the opposite is true; lucifer (who may be one and the same as/with god) fought Them out, and They became the fallen, probably for misunderstanding and disrespecting a major part of god.
Maybe they sought refuge in the nice buildings the elves and other pre-human root-races had made, but their energy overloaded those structures and grids meant for and made by elves and good angels, etc., thus the humans (what fallen angels fragmented into, no longer held unified by a connection/proximity with god/source/stars-core) had to keep rebuilding, cataclysm after catacylsm, all caused by their stupid thoughts overloading or echoing back from the planetary grid.
Maybe the only way humans have avoided extinction while remaining stupid and rude and otherwise negative… is by hopping from world to world, such as via Space programs, secret and overt, right in time to avoid each cataclysm they know their bad presence/energy keeps causing.
Maybe that is why Asteron exploded; more of them landed there than on Earth.
Mayne that is why there are giant craters on Earth humans pretend were from asteroids and comets; enough landed there to overload that area / part of the global civilization grid, but not enough to crack the whole planet.
Maybe that is why they say 3 or 4 moons already crashed into the Earth; they tried going to those moons, but they were too small to not be overloaded like Asteron was.
Maybe that is why some deities wanted sacrifices at their temples; reducing human numbers was the only way to reduce strain on the grid before overload, and maybe the grid amplifies the death of the sacrifices in some way, perhaps by causing other bad/mortal beings to die, or perhaps at least just causing an absence of energy across the grid, delaying global mudflood-causing overload that way…

Note that all 3 ambi sightings were on or very near one of these lines

Humans claiming they must FIND ley-lines and vortices, and that some are good and others bad, seems to me to be submissive and negative itself, since it does not say that some people can be ley lines and vortices themselves.
I have always been like a fountain of good, a living vortex or mana spring.
Like the pyramids and ley-lines grid, I have also always defaulted to charging up, then echoing and amplifying back whatever is sent to me.

Number-squares and kabala hebrew letter-number codes are probably all just diferent manifestations of the same tactic; overcomplication.
I bet the key of Solomon is even a diversion.
I bet all claims about history, and all debates, are just mediaflooding to lure/bait and stall.
I bet Solomon didnt need a secret language to trap and force angels.
I bet they Can’t be forced.
I bet, if they helped him, it was simply bc he asked, not trying to trap any of them.
I bet the real key was the simplicity of pure good intention vibe.

It keeps amazing me how retarded joe rogan is; he actually believes that just because he hasnt heard of evidence of things, that there is no evidence kept from him. He actually thinks nothing is classified or kept from him. How stupid can he be?

Note how she said zilch in response to my posts about leyline markers and ambi only able to appear in certain places. I must’ve hit the nail on the head…

Even if they were lookalikes sent to fuck w me, my writing ended up being responded to by those who at least looked perfect.
Too bad they were cunts or idiots or weak or whatever stopped them from behaving by introducing themselves.
My work and scouting and calling out and having a pure intent paid off by the Telosians and others showing me they are real.
My training and travels paid off by making it so that i easily detected evildoers and smoothly disregarded their bs instd of getting heated like they always tried to trigger me to be.

Were there 3 shooting stars that 1 time bc i was talking to 3 ppl at the same time, thus all 3 manifested what i said?
I suppose i must keep trying initiating; no one else is saying the right things.
Maybe ambi and sabrina and the others will manifest everything i say, not just shooting stars.
But my blood still tells me they should be powerful enough to do that already, clearly having shown up without me speaking, so why not do the rest before i have to say it?

I parked on an empty street. It didn’t even have houses on it. It was next to a barren lot.
I was minding my own business, and within minutes a cop showed up anyway. A “cop”; a bitch with pierced ears.
I asked if I could park there, then where I could park.
I moved to where that “cop” said I could park, then a trans-like queer moody bitch-boy who had SHAVED HIS FACIAL HAIR SMOOTH OFF came out to complain.
I again asked if I could park there, where the cop said I could, and he was upset and shaking his hands like a faggot, saying it was next to a school… And?
I was on a road trip, I had a bicycle with me, clearly going for bicycle rides, and I was doing nothing other than checking my map/phone for a moment… on an unused street… that did not even have any access to that “school” (corporate indoctrination camp).
Even when nowhere near the actual school, and not talking to anyone, and not even LOOKING at anyone, they still panicked –twice –in a row –one telling me one thing, while the other told me something else.
Even when I am following ALL their rules, they get nervous and try to dominate me.
…smh
I’m pretty sure both those idiots showed up during my ~2016 time-travel there.
It is bad enough that they didn’t recognize innocent behavior,
and bad that they didn’t recognize Me,
but worst of all how they spoke to me, especially how the shaved freak spoke to me –AND talked with his hands.
These beasts really do need cataclysms to keep them in check –and to dislodge them –and clean up the messes they NEVER will.
..
What they would have done if they were good is celebrate my arrival, celebrate my return, offer me a tour, show me their best everything, ask me if I need anything, ask me how they can serve me, etc.,
but they only assumed evil… because they ARE only/total evil.
My vibe and actions were obvious and matching and innocent, yet they STILL reacted with tantrums/evil.

My instincts/blood wasn’t conflicted; it told me the same every time; some of their body parts were correct/appropriate, but their actions were / behavior was ALways wrong/bad/evil/unacceptable,
and I was right to want what was correct, and right to not accept them for mixing in offensive bullshit.

My instinct to restore Native/tribal lands…
probably is because they deserve it;
even though some of them are mutated, it is from the bad energies of the newcomers which distracted them (the Natives) from maintaining themselves.
The new-humans (~1600s to now) took over ALL lands they could.
It wasn’t a White thing; it was just that Whites were those where the invaders made landfall,
perhaps because their evil was attracted to the purest/brightest spot;
what Italy was before it stopped being blue-eyed blonde Angels and Angel-descendants.

My gut-feeling that the ancients controlled-det’-ed their own megastructures,
at least those not already-overloaded by the incoming/new-human presence/thoughts/auras,
is because that is what happened;
the ancients would have foreseen that their structures designed and built to amplify their naturally-stable energy/ies…
would amplify any mindless-spreader energy so equally/well that it probably not only skyrocketed new-human reproduction-drives… but also even spread out Space (thus modern-human “scientists” mis-concluding that Space was expanding on its own).

Any more contact than I have with the typist… would have prevented these ideas occurring to me,
these dreams being remembered,
and all this website/spell progress and wrap-up.
Any LESS contact than I have had with those who made sure I saw they are real… and I wouldn’t have believed in what I’m doing enough to continue, whether I was distracted or not.
Ugh.
phase fucking 2.
At least it showed me those I sought are real, and my superpowers are real.

The gyro was great for a vegan one, but the salad was lame and its dressing left an aftertaste.
It was nice that the original hostess did prayer hands to me, and nice that a new hottie was there on rd2, and nice that the chunky one was gone on rd3,
and the new hostess is charming and almost sexy,
but nothing her kind does at this point is fixing the horrible errors and lies they committed, so all I can do is keep using her for food… which isn’t what i wanted, as it is likely touched at some point by a junkie (vaxtard).

A good height shorty in seethrough black spandex like lululemon yoga pants rode motorcycle past my spot, then walked back by, but was with another human male, so obviously no point attempting any normal interaction.
Maybe later i can time-travel back here and acquire her.

I thought it was gonna be 2 steps up;
phase1 schooling to phase2 relationships and networking… to phase3 super/ideal fam and community,
but it was not all up;
it was phase1 schooling and EVERYTHING interfered with, and HORRIBLE health issues,
phase2 me realizing i was being poisoned, and debunking germ theory and more, but still having lingering ails done to me,
then phase3 overcome all that.
It was also ebb and flow;
I was forced to strain all the time and fight my way out of every fucked up situation,
then my unused energy in phase2 kept spilling over as cussing, and the strain was against loneliness,
and in phase3 I will mostly be destroying evil beasts such as humans, though hopefully also finally having the connections i was seeking since phase1.

I wonder why my instinct as a boy peacefully protesting the abusive fake fam in the marblewold downstairs bathroom that one dinnertime… was to combine the lyric “louie louie”, the notes from that song, and the lyrics “let my ppl go” / “go down moses”.
Whatever. It bothered and shut them up a moment. It was musical. It was original. They gave evil, and I just got louder-good.

I love her complexion, height, voice, slenderness, and one-shoulder tops.

I wanted to find my fam, and prayed atop a pyramid about it and my city, but got turned around… and ambi showed twice, but was SEVERELY rude BOTH time… so… did it work? or not?
Whatever.
Gotta survive; no time to think about her dumbassery.

I didnt have a way to keep the bicycle during 2016~ time-travel, so anywhere I ride it now is a loopbreak.

If they were good, they would have shared my passions and values, agreed loudly w me, shielded me from all the scummy peasants, never let me go hungry…
and certainly not have ignored my normal invitation that they, like me, show up alone, that we get to know each other in private.
Their choices showed cowardice, rudeness, incompatibility, unreliability, and worse.
They have a Long way to go before earning my time, let alone my trust, let alone my love.

I sure am fasting a lot lol. I heard it was good for me, so why not

Sat2dec2023 ~7:45pm 3 gunshots after a pause after the first 2 maybe 5mins earlier. Sounded right across highway.
I hate whoever did it, but i am glad i no longer am in phase1; when i was required to return fire, and deal w that shit almost daily.

Time travel to 2023 from 2016 was a double blessing; for one, it showed me a superpower is real, and secondly, it showed me who will choose to be rude and evil, thus who must be destroyed back in 2018 or before.

I could feel it was ambi in oregon, and that she was sad and stressed, wishing i would initiate… so hopefully that means she could feel my thoughts that i knew it was her, and thought she was with that guy, thus i was respecting them.
Either way, though, why would she show up w a guy in oceanside… if it hadnt worked the first time, and if she could hear my thoughts that i didnt like that?

Parked at redrock, facing vegas lights, predawn, waiting on gate, memory refresh of having done this in jeep.
2nd time n redrock? I seem to rmbr worrying about gas during the winding rd, and hiking to the first area which looked like flesh boulders.
..
Did I find the gate closed last time I came, and decided not to spend money on it?
Not sure I remember waiting here ’til sunrise, seeing the 4 runners, 3 with green X-packs lit at predawn, and 1 with red.
Not sure I remember a whole queue of minivan and trucks waiting on the gate-side across from the road-shoulder I was on.
And I’m certain I didn’t have this lifetime-free pass.

Plant Power:
Another total failure of this species; went for a healthy vegan breakfast, and all gods failed bc another fatfuck wearing a retard mask was handling my order, ruining it before it even began. Shame on everyone.

I avoided soymexican, then went there thinking it was the other mex vegan place, but I am glad I accidentally tried it, as it was good and no masks bs.
..
Lol cop helo during lunch. Ugh.
I hope whoever they are after gets away. I remember how their kind harassed me no matter how innocent i was. Fuck em all
..
Lol fat cop on golf cart,
cop charger behind me,
2 cop vehicles black suv drive up in front and pause facing me.
Mustve been scary when i had my stuff in 2016.
Then idebtical paintjob cop helo on way to rich shitty area, tight circling same way.
The odds! XD
Smh

I was VERY emotion charged during 2016indiana and 2017big sky…but supernatural/cosmic events still happened when i was calm; triple shooting stars in iraq…although it could be argued i was riding adrenaline comedown…
Maybe i Do need to harness my emotion, not keep suppressing it.
Maybe getting in fights Would be good…
No, this body isnt strong enough.
I should keep getting worked up.
But…time-travel seems spontaneous back then.
What to do?
Just wait for the next event or sign or appearance?
Ugh.
I dont want to have to get emotionally exploded and drained to use my powers each time.
…At least ambi in oregon and oceanside did not require anger or surge or calling out to her.

If i hadnt repeated the events during 2016 and 2017, whether they were time travel or not, i would not have known what to skip, i might have been so emotional that i triggered more time travel this 2nd time, and i would not have had a shower in bigsky, or as many vegan options in vegas during that 1st pass to those places. It may be that i moved myself ahead to when there was barely enough vegan stuff to keep me balanced/sane.
I also needed all this time to write down amd edit everything on my website.

The repo nigger knocking loudly on my indiana door…was a loopbreak; i had my jeep the first time.

Those who showed up definitely vibed as moody and heartless,
but also hopeful and into me, at least in part. That is phase2 mix, betrer than n phase1 when all refused anything to do w me.

Those who appeared once or more times…didnt help…or did they?; they got my attn, showing me they knew of me and had come for me to see.
They didn’t pester me, so they aren’t relentlessly trying to distract me like phase1 scum always tried to…
So are they helping by staying out of my way?
Are they supporting me by not interrupting my wrap-up?
If they had donated back then, i would have paid to cross the darien…
Now, if they donate, i wouldnt travel at all…

So do i love them for them making sure i know they are real?
Do i love them for not interrupting?
Do i hate them for not supporting?
I think neither so far; i cannot love those who came with conditions, and i cannot hate them until i have evidence that they were actually being assholes, not just uncultured or bound by some goddamn law back then.

The only thing keeping me sane is my work, not the typist.
I have reached a point where more rp just angers me, reminding me how ambi in person behaved, which is Not my dreamgirl, Not what i asked for and deserve.

My emotion and words triggered lightning, shooting stars, and apparently hurricanes.
It may be that pele, getting emotional after not understanding my manners, triggered a volcanic eruption.
Did my emotion trigger time travel, or did a true brujah do that For me, knowing i needed the gym in bigsky to shower in, and vegan elsewhere?
Whatever was the cause of all that, if it must be my emotions which cause more, i now need them to pair w my words/writing/website to cause not sky events or earth explosions or time travel, but correct thinking and behavior and teamwork and donations from the hotties who wanted me to see them.

If the typist did the overnight ghost hunt at the Indiana Sanatorum from sat2dec2023 to sun3dec2023, then i could find out her name etc. from their reservation list or website.

Naturally it bothers me i am still limited to texting a stranger…who knows i am struggling…yet spends money on unnecessary stuff like ghost hunts.
Ugh.

Humans assumed and claimed atoms existed,
but probably only because of their essence/determination to endlessly further-complicate things.
It may be that atoms never existed until humans looked for them, determined to find them, manifesting them only where they looked and assumed they would be.
It may be that different types of rock simply existed because a god had imagined them that color and hardness, or because they had petrified that way from what gods HAD made.

Teaching the theory that women are only fertile at certain times was just one more example of brainwashing as a form of contraception and population control.
There was no “immaculate conception”; she just felt like having a baby, so she manifested one. That is normal for non-brainwashed females.

Minor deja vu from Merribella sent back to her realm, and Annakarinna flirting
..
Yep. Memory refresh of jeep n red and green holiday lantern lights street parked where i am…while rp-ing being w the petite fairy who took the place of the banished one.
Ugh.
Goddamn loop.
At least it is a decent fantasy… and i already know i make it out of here irl.

My latest mystery/question is why i made her a scroll on red bg color…before 2018…while in the sandy canyone bicycling area n of boulder city…when we didnt rp having children until 2018; it wouldnt make sense to have such an xmas scroll… unless it was just a ty ltr from me to her.

Loopbreak:
I skipped the 2017~ cactus drive street after overnighting in the neighborhood

It is scary and saddening and frustrating at first, being sick in a homeless/vehicle situation, but it is way better than living w a psycho nonvegan who keeps Making him/herself sick.
Plus, i heaked within hrs; a singke nap was all it took. It took WEEKS to get btr when around the fake relatives / evildoers.

2016 tried costco, then 24hr smoothie place. was in jeep and sad then.
2023 loopbreak went to gym. busy. numb. annoyed.

40 years of me being consistent, yet they still havent noticed i always ignore rudeness and lies and scams and demands and attempts at domination.
The only way they can get me to do anything… is by submitting to me, apologizing, refunding me, etc.

Memory refresh: jeep at trailhead gravel lot facing vegas valley.
Wow…
Here again. Wtf.
At least it shows commitment and heroism and endurance and superpowers.

Being in vehic…is still way btr than paying out the nose to rent from a scumbag extortionist bullying me to stop being kind to animals.
Homelessness is neutral, way btr than being stuck w evil roommates / broken homes.

Even if this is the end, i am proud i stood up for myself…esp since childhood…and against so many evildoers…alone.
I am as hero as it gets.
Not always brave. I know my limits. But def a hero…even 1 w superpowers now.

I felt a bit under the weather, napped it off, healing almost instantly now : )

Nothing drives sustainability, and off-grid research and development, more than having no choice because everyone so far acted like a mindstappled NPC asshole.

It is btr to be n my vehic than a house when recovering; houses tend to circulate bad stuff, but a vehic requires movement and provides more fresh air.

Brain size is based on neurons enough to send signals to the muscle mass; intelligence is outside the brain, as is memory; the brain is just the/a means to control the flesh.

That “environmentalist” org of pale green tshirts…going around stopping bulldozers from deforesting the rainforest…could be a cover for trying to replant foresrs to keep hiding ruins they found

That ugly paint-wearing woman w the sketchy voice…trying to trigger ppl into caring about 1,000 abandoned bulls/cows n brazil…shows how backward and evil they are; all that money for useless artificial beings they made, but not one word or penny for me.

6mos n vehic and chemtrail city…b4 i even felt slightly warm/ill; i am strong.

Ambi was at end of earthship chapter,
and end of mexico ch,
and end of eli ch;
maybe she will be at the end of the website wrap-up ch…

“Growth comes outside your comfort zone” is default condescension template, shit vibing, code for “let us stall and mislead and disrespect you more by talking with us more often even though none of us deserve to even live, let alone speak”.
Bitch, I’ve been outside my comfort zone my entire life so far –because of having to deal with You.
..
and: if you really practiced what you preach, you would get outside YOUR comfort zone/s; by fucking being POLITE to me for once!

2:43pm pst wed6dec2023 first street-sign sunlight rainbow-effect steady; from parked gravel pov

Wed6dec2023 3:35-3:45pm pst at west gravel spot, dark blue toyota camry LE, 4dopr old car, 273-TSP, beanie guy, sheep herder dog black with white and brown patches, long-hair dyed-blonde black yoga-pants, kept looking at me as if seeing if i was noticing her, posing/peacocking, prob bc of my vehic lol.
But amerifail guy + barking nigger = no way.
Looked old anyway.

Will there come a time when i Miss having no schedule, no relationships, no home…
I seriously doubt that.

There is always the buildup to panic and crying and screaming, then relief…so fuck…just let it come.
In phase1, it was just buildup to hell, then more hell.
In phase3, there will be no more crying in worry, and no disrespect to me, only lasting and improving relief.

1 Changed oneness into distinct realms
2 Changed realms to have worlds
3 Changed worlds to have layers
4 Changed layers to have lands and seas
5 Changed lands to move laterally and vertically
6 Changed lands by mining and building uppn them
7 Changed by forming nations etc.
8 Changed themselves; degeneracy
9 Changed how things are able/allowed to change

Every “disclosure” I have seen… has just been more random lies and grossness, likely / vibing as a diversion from the truth; either the govt has way btr stuff, or it has no idea what it is doing at all, and is just appealing to its unruly retarded tax cattle.

Actors and actresses are still acting when they pretend to have relationship issues ans divorce proceedings.

Why fly the flag upside down Now?; the usa and other lands were in distress ever since religion and nonvegan evil corrupted them.

The dumbest shit in the world is using videos of EVs on fire to claim that they aren’t safe or environmentally friendly; gas vehicles pose the same risks and pollute constantly, not once in a great while during rare accidents.

The only reason the church has minions is bc ppl love being lazy, dishonest, blameshifting, etc..
The only reason the church shames anyone that isn’t brainwashed to faithfully wait on a savior or god that never comes… is bc they have no evidence at all to support their vikki-level exaggerations/lies

“They’re in charge of the realms.”? Uhm… NOPE;
not unless they are real,
not unless they deServe to be in charge,
not unless I SAY they can be in charge,
etc..
Claiming someone else is in charge of ANYTHING is evil anti-ME.
It also shows that dumbass doc2, while still being better than the xian phaseONE “doc”/s, is still an idiot who doesn’t recognize the real god standing right in front of him.

4:16pm pst fri8dec2023
“You Deserve It All” by John Legend is first song I hear playing where I parked to work.
Nice sign 🙂
Finally an APPROPRIATE psy-op sorta thing.

Memory refresh “you deserve it all” played at that parking lot.
And
Jeep parked at farmer marker mall ice rink outdoor.
Loopbreak: calmer this time, and not walking around before nap

Ambi typist saying discord looks dif and u have to go into ea server to mute it… may be evidence of time travel?; i am not seeing any changes

2017? Jeep, thin windows, music blasted all night, couldnt sleep, left.
This time? Already slept twice lol. Goin for rd3.

Memory refresh of vegan pig in blanket.
Last time, i think i also had 1 other item from the same vendor.

time is still linear for me, just not the same linear as most humans apparently are limited to…
and they seem to forget / get mind-wiped… while I remember so much.

having to be in my car… kept me from doing all this work indoors;
it let me double up; simultaneous re-discovering and updating.
..
seeing ambi only a few times… showed me unmistakably she knows who i am…
and called me her husband…
..
even the verizon throttling… helps me not waste time doing unnecessarily-frequent triple-bkups

seeing so many degenerates and bullies at bs/yc… again…
still kinda works in my favor; it spurs me to write a far-more-precise to unfuck all that.
and the time-travel shows me i can undo them all, none of them remembering unless i tell them what actually happened.

phase1 was for travel/orienting.
phase2 was for designing, as the evildoers managed to prevent most travel.
phase3 is for my loved-ones (the worthy; compatible w me) coming to me.
…they blipped in and out so i would see they are outwardly perfect… and aware of me… and vibing well-enough for back then.
that was all of them coming early, careful not to interrupt/slow my genius instinct-started super-spell.

~3:30pm pst sun10dec2023 near whole foods:
approached by yet-another apparently-oblivious humanimal;
not the type I asked for,
seeking money instead of offering it,
didn’t bother to see my license plate,
wasted his own time/flier on a guy who is homeless.
lol smh. for fuck’s sake.
…but at least there is slight deja vu; partial memory-refresh = yet-another example of my amazing memory and time-travel.

pretty sure I made the 34-tauri human-population graph bitmap in 2017 at this same spot; the parking lot behind whole foods, henderson.
this time, I made the Earth human-population one. wow.

so phase1 was only hell with blips/glimpses of travel/better,
and phase2 was only work/design/self with blips of hotties/relief,
and phase3 is my heaven/perfection/achievement/ideal, the losers now only blips as desired; for The Hunt.

The logic is pretty easy to understand;
praying yet getting no answer and no help…
vs.
not bothering, cussing, and getting an immediate improvement via venting
..
calling out and only seeing scum who wanna play heartless games…
vs.
not bothering, still sometimes encountering scum, but not having wasted time calling out for good who never came

Memory refresh. Parked jeep by this very curb and tree last time. Wow.
At least i know it worked.

Here we go again; <2months to re-register, and no way to afford it. Not even sure i will make ot that far.
God, how i hate the gods and those who showed up. Absolute bastards.
I just hope They have been stressed as fuck and hungry and ‘kicking’ Themselves for having refused to talk to Me.

It would be interesting if i got tons of money and a new laptop around the end of 2024; when i can no longer uplpad to my site until histing it on my own server, and before my EVE Online skills are trained (~2-3 yrs queued atm).

If any god is real, that god should not expect me to feel like doing any work during the constant disgusting disrespect I was given, and should do far better things for me regardless of whether I give them a taste of their own medicine/disrespect.
Why expect Me to work through disrespect, while doing Nothing to help me even When I am respectful?

Memory refresh
Sketchy soccer field dogpark powerlines night lot park after vegan god pickup. I rmbr the great fried mushrooms flavor and crunch.
Wow.

In 2017, i was so sad i was n that depressing industrial part of vegas.
This time, i was glad i was only passing through it again, not having to live there.

I rmbr in 2017 attempting sleep here n the jeep, and the sound of the carwash drier blowers kept waking me. I thought it was a street-cleaning vehicle until i realized. It mad me mad, sleep deprived, almost insane. This time, my vehic muffles it perfectly, giving me a full night’s restful sleep. Even the 3am loud singing/music was barely heard.

I keep thinking/sensing/realizing that the scum in bs/yc… were there to try and stop me from choosing that place, as me alone is always enough to right something, and it takes Hundreds of Them to even temporArily anNoy me.
I also keep thinking that I was able to time-travel there… bc I focused on being there when it was becoming tolerable… and bc it was somehow meant by the “gods” to help soften the emotional impact of finding it still so ruined by entrenched lingering demonic humanimals in 2023; i got a practice round, all in actual2023 then easier to handle, even seeming laughably looped/NPC.

Lmao
That recording of the retard guy trying to sound intimidating? Since it happened more than teice now, even after i called back and let it play all the way through, it reveals to me it is Not aware of whether i heard it all, and Not being logged as received, nevermind the fact it didnt identify its organization Or Me.
They really are as dumb as they are relentless.

Every time I see or hear a human suffering, I now realize they deserve it, and am glad, and know that I was only meant to provide myself relief, and relief to worthy species.

Even the annoying groaning homeless crazy guy last night worked in my favor;
pulled all pig attention, showed me many pigs and their vehicles, didn’t interrupt my sleep, etc.

I’ll rmbr how she went shopping… when I was abandoned and rationing; she chose wants over needs, others over me, wrong over right.

Calling things godmode in a neg way is an attempt to use evil/shame/exaggeration to trick/pressure normal heings into agreeing to stay weak, vulnerable, incomplete, thus corruptible/endable.

The novels are no longer needed; they led to this websitr.
This website is the Bible/code/spell for the species which has succeeded humanity.

The new orleans tarot shop witch… and the Italy roadtrip roadside black polo shirt petite elven hottie… look Very similar; same woman?

possible form-sake:
Thu14dec2023
Blue Diamond, El Capitan intersectuon, asian, black thick clean hair down back, white loose longsleeve shirt, light gray loose pajama pants, tan shoes, barbie like, good face, looked my way when i thought to her to, walking north
11:12am pst
Was that asian hottie still part of what i witnessed during 2017 time travel to here-now? Maybe. Who cares, though

The signs are clear and uniform; I am the one realizing all this stuff, and humans keep psychotically rejecting all these obvious truths, bc I am the one deserving of getting to skip all the hells they keep creating for themselves, and they Are the problem, not merely people struggling with something they don’t understand.
I am not meant to teach others… because humans are not at all worthy of being taught.

I wrote of ambi the most, and noticed her showing up more than all others.
My gut tells me i needed to see her more than once, and to hear her, but to finish my design / computer modeling before moving in w her.
Yes, being w her nightly would be ideal, but a TON of my rest and ideas have come at night, so it seems i needed a bit more alone time.

Complex games show us who gravitates to adopting any system, who is fine with overcomplexity, who fails to notice deeper meanings and hints and tips, thus who to keep away from ancient amplifier devices/structures.
The real secret and key of all these games and stories is that it isn’t about creating a fun adventure to play, but seeing who can solve the puzzle as to how to turn that adventure tap/source off, enjoying simple normal healthy life without need of horrible experiences.
The same is true of sports fans; those who obsess over memorizing sports stats… are failing to process the actual message, and are failing to enjoy things without conflict or self-overload.

I am starting to like this desert; so much has come from being in it again.

I, like the prophets and jedi, went to the desert, knowing it would work for me.

I wonder if that big red rocks formation has some power/wisdom only for me.

Thought i’d be given a few grand. New email says 250k. It is nowhere near what i need and deserve, but it’s a start. I’ll still be homeless, but at least i can eat well.
45/d for food x30d/mo = 1,350/mo, leaving plenty for bills,
so i would only need maybe 200/mo for gas; x12mo = 2,400/yr
Plus 12/d showers x365= 4380
2400+4380=6780
That comes out of 250k 36times; until am 76.
I wish ambi would show up, and my superpowers kick in, and everyone tithe to me, and my city be built, so i can instd keep/invest 250k, but until all that happens…250k will help.

The publication of things (many games, movies, TV shows, etc.), and the strict control of who can retell or tell versions of them, paired with public access of the Internet encouraged, is a curiously perfect mix for seducing gamers and thinkers into doing far more free brainstorming and strategizing than computers can do (though computers can more-rapidly play through all possible sequences of options as programmed into them by fewer thinkers). In other words, if those “fictions” were actual soft-disclosures in disguise, as a tactic in hopes of preventing panic about actual foreseen or foretold events/eras, the publicists or secret government tapped into the full potential of all the minds of its population, probably in order to help strategize and prepare for those big changes to come.

don’t let the morons from before… interrupt your work now;
they aren’t even here;
don’t give them that power.
yes, stay mad at them, for that vibes as holy; right.
but keep going with your work.
every single pc key you touch to type with… is one more victory over their attempt to gaslight/brainwash/derail your brilliant sacred long-due work.

4:12am pst fri15dec2023
first time seeing a rainbow on the ground; from my headlights, in the predawn night, making a horizontal rainbow a few feet in front of the left front light of my vehicle.

Are chemtrails just for sunlight reduction?
Weather steering?
Depopulation via blanket poisoning; modern subtle carpetbombing?
Project bluebeam; satellite lasers making sky holograms for a fake alien invasion, where fighter missiles are programmed to detonate upon contact where the beam excites the metallic cloud intersection?
Preventing me from wielding weather; giving tech’ facilities the ability to tug against my atmokinesis effect?

Humans so far could be humanoid incarnations/forms of the negative nodes of ley-lines; why else would they always vibe as bad, always try bs, always try to take instd of give, etc.?

Gym parking is such a relief; not having to go to the desert

The pyramids and other “tombs” weren’t tombs at all;
no mummies/corpses were found in them,
as they were almost certainly to restore fallen,
not merely preserve fallen.
Modern humans are negativity-based, thus assume everything is primitive and mortal,
failing to face the obvious evidence that the pyramids were about permanence, i.e. immortality,
and balance,
and awareness of vast and cosmic forces/power.
They probably drew on the natural system of the Universe / fabric of reality…
to regenerate/resurrect.
Bodies were probably put in them only to be restored to life and perfect health,
then removed, thus no mummies/corpses found in them.
Maybe the hieroglyphs were added by modern humans, not ancient humans; part of the cover-up / media-flooding / overcomplexity / diversion.

Are my dreams from a past life?
A future one?
A clone who lived at the same time?
Idk.
Just glad I am able to see how those things could work.

Their kind have always lied, been indirect, used metaphor and symbolism, changed things per telling, overreacted, caused problems for no reason, etc.,
thus it is clear they are trying to maintain their system of constant mortality and rebooting… by making language slowly change, retellings seem new/creative, giving challenges and puzzles, etc.,
but really they are just making themselves look like the blatant weak fools they are, not actually creative or clever or successful.
The blimp in the movie, or “mile-high jellyfish” in the cartoon? It is saying the current moon is where recycling minds/programs gets done.
Is the moon not that high up?
Is my Inisfree map actually my genetic/pastlife memory of how things are actually spaced?
Did i timetravel from 2016 to 2022 indiana, and 2017 to 2023 montana and nevada? …or was it just witnessing the reset / mindwipes?
Either way, need similarities to Aeon Flux, neat ideas tonight, neat looped-NPCs experience last year and this year.
Whatever.
I have stuff to do which is meaningful to me; my final club designs/modeling.

Instd of submitting/subscribing to a preestablished theory about dreams or anything else, i sense it is better for me to establish my own;
my dreams might not be randomizations, or a past life, or a current clone’s experiences in an SSP,
but my power… to worldbuild, shaping that other dimension like i have been building up Inisfree in this one.

Me not having privacy all the time… really keeps my chi/vril surging into my mind and staying there,
and the creativity/wrapup is off the charts compared to before.

The typist is prone to fairytales;
thinking xian obvious bs is real,
thinking the virus is real and the pres will save her,
and thinking things will get better for me “within the year or so”.
I saw ambi is real… and sabrina… and the telosians… and even Nyria and Amber1 at blackrobin…
but none of them show up when I need them, so things are out there, and not fairytales, but also not showing any signs of getting better/correct.
Nothing sped up the wrapup more than their silence, but still.

In phase1, all the way up to 2012 when i moved to mt that 1st time, everyone was shitty, and i only discovered bs/yc at the end, always having to be around scum to get there for hard labor.
In phase2, i went back there, first by time travel, and again normally, seeing somehwat less-shitty ppl, and able to stay for half a year, rarely having to work, and hotties paid attn to me, thus there was a big improvement between phases, so it stands to reason another major improvement is on the way.

Ambi-in-person vibed as being chicken and moody on rd1, getting sad instd of talking to me.
Rd2, she clearly talked to the motel bitch, so why not me? She spoke of her husband, so why not be with me if I am her husband, or why not tell me she has a husband? Why leave again… if she sees me as her husband.
Rd3, she vibed as cunty and testing me, and calling out to Nate to fuck w me.
I deserve way btr than that.
I deserve to know how she k ew where to find me.
I deserve to know why she let me live through so many truly evil humans/roomates.
Guardian angels don’t do that.
Guardian angels don’t call me husband.
She seems insane.
She seems heartless.
She seems cowardly, hiding.
She seems spoiled.
I will not tolerate anyone who does not look and sound like her, so either she needs to fix her shit behavior/thinking/moodiness, or someone who looks and sounds just like her, yet knows how to treat me, needs to replace her.
And all the others who acted like her? They should be beaten for that. She should, too, just three times instead of once.
I got this work done not because of her silence, but in spite of it.
The only good may be the emotion energy that surges in her absence; I seem to summon lightning and shooting stars and earthquakes when mad, not when happy.

Me giving that presentation on how container farms multiply the potential harvests output of any acre… was not me giving a freebie or salvation to the undeserving humans; it was me throwing together an easy and incomplete concept without context and followup, steering them in the wrong direction like Project Paperclip scientists did with rockets, enabling the bad humams to keep metastasizing, thus weakening their own via exponential overcomplexity.

Lolicon was blocked in whichever state i first heard of and checked for it in. Now? Tons of it!

Instant memory refresh after getting Nacho Daddy; amazingly bad, just like in 2017. Couldnt finish it.

It seems that humans Are the negative-nodes incarnare.

Even claiming that evolution happens, or is good, boils down to the essence of obsession with change, assumption that change is necessary, leaning in favor of chaos/harm.
The dna theory is based on a structure which is endlessly ripped apart, then reassembled, always different each time.
Stable beings don’t need that.
Truly wise beings know that stability comes not from the ability to be changed by situations or environments, but the ability to stay oneself while either changing your environment, even down to the level of quantum or laws of physics, or by maintaining not only yourself but also your surroundings; the ability to keep your body as is… while also keeping your environment as is.

It seems / my theory is they always tried to upset me… because they noticed when I am upset… lightning and Inisfree etc. happen; big things; superpowers.
But they failed to test or think or realize or notice… that even bigger things happen from synergy.
Sending bad my way… causes bigger bad outbursts; lightning, etc.
…or Did they?; maybe they Know that allowing any good in my life… would Also get amplified, reSulting in the good equiv. of lightning and earthquakes.
Maybe they are so bad by nature, that they cannot bear even the possibility of that much sudden good.
So they daily do bad to me, and get daily bad back.
Does it fuel them?
Does my letting go and staying focused… starve them? It clearly sends them into a frenzy, switching from cons… to laughably obvious lies.

Apparently the hotties could not be summomed in phase1,
and Were summoned in phase2 but could not yet behave right,
and can only remain in phase3,
prob bc phase1 was about stressing me until i produced a good idea,
and phase2 had to be focus only on completing that idea so it can manifest stably.

Since that evil lying coward of a roomtard stubbornly kept blatantly saying the opp of many truths;
about disease,
nonveganism,
etc.,
she was also obviously saying the total opposite of the truth about:
$ needed to enter yc,
where other deals were,
that i should abandon the dream/goal,
etc.
She prob lied about being in a relationship, too.
I wonder if she even lied about her job,
her river trips,
how much rent and taxes were for her,
how long she lived there…
I bet she killed her dog, too.
Anyway, she was only parroting her brai washing, and telling me she is convinced She can never afford to enter the yc.

Note that i switched from “I will memorize their rules and play in their system”…
to, when they kept pretending i was bad or doing poorly,
“I require equality and honesty from them before I will resume interacting”…
to
“Cataclysm everyone out of my way until all submit to me and My system”,
thus I passed the phase2-to-3 threshhold.
..
Phase2 took many tries to stabilize; escaping evildoers, being around them less and less, having better and better rentals of my own… until i got this latest one for free.
The pt is that phase3 so far has also taken repeat attempts.
Stay the course.
Note the progress; no vehicle… shitty cars… Jeep that later wobbled… silent vehicle… vehicle i no longer had to pay for, etc.; it keeps getting btr.
Just stay calm and aimed the same way.

Inviting ppl to meet me didnt work; they acted like shits every time, showing me how stupid they were,
so it makes far more sense to write spells and shift my focus to cataclysming them,
as trying to work w them Never worked, and it would have been actual insanity to keep trying to work w idiots that idiotic.
They chose unfairness and unreasonableness, so they shall get the same times infinity.
Amen.

It’s so retarded/braindead of them to parrot/brokenrecord “absolute power corrupts absolutely” while they angrily demand everyone have blind faith in their god / imaginary friend.
But that self-overlooked duality is the easiest way to identify them; they always say laughably hypocritical idiotic nonsense such as that.
It shows not only that they cannot think clearly, but that their internals/essence are/is conflict/duality/chaos.
Is that what causes their dna to be a twisted pair of lines, not a straight line?
Do beings who are not limited to one direction in one timestream have dna that is not linear?
Do beings who are not internally conflicted… have only 1 helix/line per dna strand?
Do dna strands only exist in beings determined to add complexity on all levels, smaller and smaller?

Maybe i kept encountering scum…not bc of any choices i was making (i certainly tried all approaches), but bc there simply were no good ppl yet, and i was, by a god or just chance, being shown that nothing short of total war and merciless victory will ever get any improvements at all.

In phase1, they took everything;
my youth,
health,
gf,
grades,
vehicles,
record,
credit,
etc..
In phase2, i managed to use their tactic against them, finding that only when i lied like they lied… did they finally cough up any money at all, …but they kept taking it all via extortion on every item i needed;
food,
lodging,
etc..
So next is me finding and manifesting tapping into all of them, taking all Back, lying btr than Any of them, such as via cloaked ships, etc..

Eli was the latest/last phase2 (pre2012) friend, and lasted longer than the others, even phase1 sf.
Ambi typist was met right around the start of the shift, and has come in and out of my life, always from a distance.
RealAmbi made sure she walked right at me in 2017ish, and has kept coming back, closer and closer, lingering longer.
It stands to reason that she will return, closer than before, and let me hear more of her voice.
I mustnt see her like the others, even though she has behaved like them; seemingly spoiled and stupidly and heartlessly, but she came decades after the first, and neutral contact is far btr than the interaction b4; from the phase1 rudes.
..
Maybe she cannot time travel without assistance from 1 other, such as her bro or Nate.
..
But how do i reconcile how creepily similar her “thank you for working w me” vocal sig was… to the phase1 lfb monster?
Her look at me as i went into my room to pass out…was also creepily similar to the look of retarded evil lfb rudely sent at me across the marblewood table when i told her i was n love.
..
Is ambi a dif soul? She better be.
..
Will ambi really smooth over the lfb memory…by having Our stay-at-home redhead be pretty and behaved and cook well and always on nonbroken cookware? She better.

In phase1, i ended up Seeking the tough stuff.
In phase2, i made peace after being forced by lingering phase1 scum to stay solo and mobile. Solo and mobile is btr than stuck w lying phase1 tard.
..
Phase1 ended when i let go of / rejected all human “authority”, becoming vigilante.
Phase2 may end more peacefully; when i let go of my determined hold of the future. Or maybe phase1 is about letting go, and phase2 is about waiting.

I worried that the typist has a Fight Club movie-like split personality, thus the uncertainty of when realAmbi shows up, and her responding as if she is ambi, and vibing as if she channels her…
Surely the reality is far btr than that. This is years past the shift, after all.

Did the invaders stop using tech/elec bc the leylines grid was still surging from the bad energy/vibes of their invasion?
Did that Force them to use gas vehics?
Is That why their industry is entrenched?

Phase1 was no powers and no hotties.
Phase2 was hotties w issues, and powers i sometimes didnt even notice until yrs later, such as 2016 to 2022 time travel.
So…instd of going Bk to when i saw Ambi, how do i aGain go Forward, Skipping some time, to when she Came from?

I hope the typist somehow doesnt experience me not messaging when i time travel. I hope she can see when i go to, and keep in touch the whole time, not missing a day.

still LOL-ing at that beta queer middleaged man with the coifed brown hair and business-casual that walked by when i cussed at god in the parking lot;
how HE thought Iii was the offputting one, making the standard retarded-peasant “bitter beer face”,
when HE was the one who looked like a trans; shaved facial hair, pussy hairstyle, idiot conformist corporate-slave clothing, not supporting me, not showing respect, not having any intelligence, default-negative to my wisdom/natural-ness, etc.

is the typist an actual angel?
no; angels do not age/atrophy/deteriorate,
and they certainly don’t spread/parrot blatant lethal lies, such as pretending the U.S. democracy is real, or the virus is real, or the president cares about us, etc.
Angels certainly don’t lie to Me.
REAL angels would tell me the truth.
They wouldn’t keep me “at arm’s length” via the Internet filter.
They wouldn’t gross me out.
They wouldn’t question me.
They wouldn’t advise me.
They’d love and support me.

I bet xians stole/repurposed all the songs they claim are their own.
I bet every hymn and christmas carol etc. were all originally not about xianism at all.
How could a subrace who can’t think or be honest… ever create?
Their entire civilization is based on destroying/taking/falsehoods, not creating.

For christmas, I actually gave myself many gifts; the latest adventure,
every one of thousands of the recent website updates and wrapups,
my new SOP,
meals in peace,
thousands more scummy humans blocked by phone and ‘net,
all remaining club designs modeled,
new love-visions sorted,
etc.

I didnt make a mistake by thinking the looped ppl n bs were maybe NPCs; they were losers who let their town get i filtrated by rude druggie punk scum, thus They are scum.

Would be cool if i could timeskip ahead; no more money needed for food, gas, oil, etc.; just my phone bill, insurance, and eve; ~1367 adder every month…
But btr would be forced tithing from everyone, all ppl required by law and gunpoint to fund me forever.

I wrote of being a Marine and got in even though told not posb by liars/shitty recruiters.
I wrote of travel/expeditions and did most of them, only annoyed a couple times to the point of madness; europe y alaska; solo manifestation was way btr.
Now i have written FAR more to manifest my cabin and wife and kids and city, so those shall be the best of all, even perfect by my instinct standard, amen.

Since humans shamelessly said so many things that were unthinkably shameful and obviously wrong, humans are no longer allowed to speak without permission. To obtain permission, a human must write down what he/she intends to say, and whether that gets approved is up to whomever is in charge of that human.

The “waiting for aliens” loser/pest in indiana fake veteran house… had same skin, eyes, vibe, and desperate need for attn and to bother ppl, as the loser/pest in soldotna farm. Same demon/program?

I wonder if demons karmically paid back all who disrespected and lied to me.

“I know you are trying to find where you fit in.” is so retarded;
blatantly cocky/arrogant and condescending,
assumes I am supposed to not be myself, but conform,
assumes I am looking for a home, ignoring the DECADES of work I PUBLICLY did, designing my own,
assumes fitting in is the way to go,
assumes I am not testing people to see who is appropriate/sane,
assumes she has the right to speak to ANYONE that way,
assumes that telling a blatant lie condescendingly will somehow help/soothe,
thinks she is actually caring, when she is only mindlessly parroting a template,
vibing as just filling her contact quota,
and on and on.
What an absolute scumbag and disgrace and veteran-harming punk.

Typist again claiming something other than her is to blame; weather, but her sickness is from poisoning herself, same as b4

thu21dec2023: 1:37am woke bc heard what sounded like basketball slow power dribbled bounced on road, sounding like it was smacking firm concrete or metal. Odd. It sounded like moving slowly away. I wondered if it was on this trail or behind me on hwy.

It briefly rained last night. I enjoyed hearing the patter, however slight.

Those who want me to chase… are takers, not givers, thus neg nodes incarnate.
Those who do not even give greetings… are obv takers, not just cowards or spoiled or sexist.
Those who get mad at anything i do, are naturally against me, not accepting and loving and being themselves like me, thus r incompatible and takers.
It is never natural-feminine for a female to get mad she cannot wield/dominate a guy. Being mad at me is as unnatural as being a trans freak.
My instinctively waiting for girls to initiate… was right; it was waiting on positivity-nodes; those who generate and GIVE energy, not expect it to be GIVEN so they can only TAKE.
If the fake relatives had been real blood/fam, they would have sensed/known that, and CELEBRATED me having that correct/wise/lifesaving instinct, telling me I was RIGHT to wait on appropriate teammates/partners, NEVER pressuring me to just fuck/accept/spawn with ANYONE.

do not send the rp-pause pseudo-breakup letter to ambi-typist;
real-ambi and the others showed up while i was still RPing with that typist,
so it wouldn’t help if i paused/ended rp with her –even though she uses it as an escape, not to manifest things.
phase1 is about ends/heartache; let phase2 be about continuations of decency.
she sends decent art most of the time.
the rp keeps getting better.
the hotties keep looking and sounding better, and moving closer.
there is no reason to end something which doesn’t seem to be hindering the manifestations.
maybe it IS slowing them; maybe I SHOULD focus ONLY on manifestations, but this is my decision.
this will work out on its own anyway; this is near the start of phase 3, or already IN the start of phase 3.

I’d like to think Jaide shut down RoD after they were assholes to me, alienating/repulsing me,
because she likes me back,
and she got over her rage at them, and maybe killed some of them,
and has rogered up to let me know she is still in contact with me, etc..
I appreciate her letting me know she is still alive.
I do still want to fuck her –if she is at least as hot as that ambi who showed up 3x now –and, ofc, so long as she is not a covidiot.

Manila, Philippines pop. density = 119,600/mi^2 (first source)
x100 = 11,960,000
(2nd source: 2023 total/est. 14,667,089 across 16.56 mi^2… would be 885,694/mi^2)
..
Inisfree at capacity has ~153,846,154 per month (at any given time); 1,538,462/mi^2
(only ~1.7x Manila’s density)

remember that bullshit verbal diarrhea from the nonvegan vendor asshole fucking with me when I was stressed and deserving help getting into my cabin:
“just need one good lead”? nope! wrong again, fatfuck-fucker;
I CLEARLY need to PURGE this entire TOWN –and STATE.
THAT is what I need; the power to kill you ALL.

Lots of humans ran up and initiated w me, always in the evil way.
That means ppl Can.
That likely means all the hotties were Choosing not to.
They were likely Choosing to Also be evil.
Even if some Were bound by some stupid rule not to initiate to me, that is stilp them being Not what I asked for, thus still evil.

I asked/told many to show up, and they did… Not really; 99% of the time, they did not show up.
When they Did show up, they refused to indentify themselves.
That shows the signs of them requiring Constant direction, and my babysitting adults is wrong.

As long as any have coward or bully reactions to me, instead of loving all I am, thus not even Needing bravery around me, they are evil and shall keep being counter fucked with.

Thankfully everything in bs/yc except the humans is perfect; all the things that are complex and difficult to make… are there, done, and perfect. It is easy to get rid of humans. So while i encountered only scum in 2023 there, i also saw that 99% of what i want there… manifested correctly.
Just 1 more % left to manifest.

Amazing how much calmer i am after selfcare/rebalancing.

Tried 2 more groc store, both filled with glutton blob freaks and masktards. So disgraceful. So disgusting. Makes even grocery runs horrible and almost pointless.
Can’t wait to kill them all and grow my own food.

Deja vu from gym parking lot eating salsa and fritos.
Ugh.

I no longer care how long my vehic time takes; i let go of worry and rage, harnessing myself better, being a composed warrior instd, with endless endurance/stamina/focus.
I still curse the false god/s, as it is good to call out scammers, but i get great work done every day, and the greatness of my works is always amplified by the fact i managed to do it in spite of Many evil humans trying to mislead me that whole time.

Living through a situation a 2nd time isnt to pressure me to chg my holy way; it is to show me timetravel and/or the NPCs’ loop/s.
Others -including all deities- are the ones who must improve based on learning from Me.
Good beings such as me are not here to change, but to be good examples, all others changing to be more agreeable to Me.

More idiotic lethal bad advice; her claiming the VA will help –even though she is a civilian who has no business claiming such.
She really lives in a fantasy.

Interesting she claims she, too, left the RoD server.

No need to worry that she doesnt dream of the ppl i told her about… returning to team up w me;
she was wrong about many things, thus is likely wrong about that,
she is clogged up w bad diet and smoke,
she is just 1 person,
she isnt holding the vision,
and her writing doubles as holding the vision well enough, lead by me.
It is shitty phase2, but it was enough to get me to this wrapup milestone.

I loved the Graze menu, but they replaced it w that mediterranean crap :/
At least i got to try several things before that.

Hating ambi and the others is right for now, even if they had some excuse for their rude and cold treatment of me; anyone deserves to be hated if they act that way to me.
I asked for real women who are good to me, not idiots who merely Look like what i asked for. Not heartless scum who test and toy instd of helping me.
Hate what is evil.
Love only those who earn love.

I already relived the evil VA bs n indiana.
I already lived thru the same evil n all other states i resorted to the VA in.
I have witnessed they try to murder veterans.
Even if they were good, i should not have to resort to paperwork begging for scraps.
I deserve teammates, donations, superpowers, godhood.
I hope having written that now… it will manifest.
I hope by abandoning the corrupt va, it will be destroyed.

The typist claiming her dad got an incurable disease…is her latest brainwashing reveal; all diseases are curable…unless the patient blindly trusts a retarded nonvegan doc…and a fake god/religion.

If i had accepted ambi during rd1, oregon, i would have likely not had these 6 years of constant updates and a pyramid ascension and time travel noticed.
If i had accepted her n rd2, az motel, i would have been accepting mask bs, and indirect bs, and her having left me to he abused by cartel losers n mexispickland.
If i had accepted her n rd3, i would have been okaying cuntiness, moodiness, and being toyed with.
I asked for ambi, Not That bullshit/bitch.
She can keep showing up until she fucking gets it right.

Thu21dec 7:27pm was end of winter solstice, and i curiously vented most until that minute, switching to pos y relief and refocusing after.
Full moon is on 26th, day after my biggest webpage (xmas) post ever, hopefully to start manifesting it.

Jaide messaged me last night (21dec2023) at 11:43pm (a few hrs after the winter solstice; as the light was starting to return).
Last time I got a message from her was 3Feb2022; ~1.75 yrs ago.
I hate that inconsistency, but it helped me wrap up my work sooner, and her reappearing like that… makes me remember the others can, too.

I wonder if the typist refuses anything more than rp texts…bc she doesnt want to get close and lose anyone like she lost the dad she loved.
Whatever.
Just one more human not being there for me.
Sending texts like unhelpful prayers, ignoring my needs.
All talk, no followthrough.
Just like the bitches who showed up, showed me they are moody and heartless, and left.
..
More like 1.95 yrs ago; 3feb to almost 3jan

Just like ambi showing up when i was depressed after earthship,
and after i screamed after mexico abuse,
and after i left eli’s bullshit,
Jaide messages me after my venting / mini breakdown to typist last night. Within hours… similar to how ambi showed up in arizona an hour or so after my screaming.
Why do they roger up after Some breakdowns… but not after 99% of my Other breakdowns/ventings?
Smh
I hate how they have been so unreliable like that.

The more i get only texts…
and that “stay safe” evil from the typist,
the more it shows she uses rp so she doesnt get close or live anymore,
and spreads blatant lies.
Meanwhile i was trying to rp to hold a vision and wait for rl to happen,
and Never parroted that evil pharma shit.
..
No, this isnt yin yang;
Yin yang is about togetherness and balance,
and she has never been w me,
and is not at all balanced or balanCing.

Jaide sending me merry christmas…when i am not a xian
and typist sending me “stay safe”…after parroting the VA deathtrap lie?
I cannot allow that ultimate evil and brainlesness.
It is time i detach from both of those losers.

Couldnt even get a bottle of water without another masknigger…
Wtf.
Can’t wait to leave human civ and never return…except to annihilate them.

My only peace has come from me.
Even the typist has only left me frustrated and poor and hungry and disgusted.
Humans have mistreated me so much… that it Seems like mere Memes and Art thumbnails texted to me… are nice… even though they are the same barebones bullshit and apathy and disrespect and abandonment all others have put me through.
I wanted to use the rp until it manifested, but i have to let go of that toxic dumbass useless bitch now.
She has been using me to escape.
She strings me along.
And she is too deluded/stubborn/cowardly to admit it, so i admit it For her.

It finally rained here… but only for a minute or two.

I rmbr going to phoenix and hating it down there. Skipping, this time.

The typist isnt what i asked for or wanted or needed. I asked for ambi.
But even ambi showing up… behaved not how i asked.
Why???????

Being n my vehic this much is modern hibernating.
Winter is for hibernating.
Fine.

Having to ask for help…means whatever is given is an ordered item, not help.
Especially since they over and over showed me they were spying on me.

I tried going where I thought she would be, but that apparently meant I only focused on a place, not a person, so the place manifested without her.
Thankfully, I wasn’t focused on her at all the first and third time she showed up; I don’t need effort or focus, so focus should help.
Apparently I need to focus on only her, and only when she returns to me will our two minds’ shared focus make the cabin I chose ours.

I focused on her so many times, yet she only showed 3 times, only 1 time when i cried out; focus is not the key, either.
Sometimes she just fucking shows up.
I hope to fucking god she is more reliable than that once we hook up.

Did god/life yet again fail retardedly and completely?; by responding to me reSorting to rp unTil things manifest… by connecting me w that escapism typist?
or was that the only kind of typist who would keep writing this long, thus enough to complete my spell?

She prefers lies/illusions;
Christianity,
Usa,
Politics,
Pharma,
VA,
Rp.
Even if she Did foresee me w ambi, she might lie about it, claiming she didnt see that, perhaps in an attempt to make me feel hopeless and staying resorting to rp.

Odd/curious that she admits to one delusion/escapism (rp) while stubbornly clinging to the others.

In 2017, i was miserable here; wobbly jeep, half as much budget, colder, noisier.
This time, it is cozy, quiet, luxurious, and all my work is done. I almost don’t mind that the hotties/manifestations are still not teamed / yet to team up w me.
..
Will i one day look back on this chapter/year and miss it; bc it was so much privacy and monklife and wrap-up…?

Doing nothing some days… is good practice relaxing and being able to chill w my future fam, such as when real Ambi will just want to snuggle.

do i reconsider their refusal to initiate?;
did the hotties waiting for ME to initiate… mean that the SEXIEST are the most poLITE?
all the fugs initiated the WRONG way; harassing me; pestering me; DESPERATE to derail me in ANY WAY they could think of.
but the hot ones… were VERY polite.
was their moodiness… actual frustration just like MINE; THEY were BOUND by manners, thus HAVING to wait for me?
…
all this work I did, as I’ve noted before, could NEVER have been done, or even though up correctly, if at all, if ANY had been in my life.
I would have had reliable shelter, and showers, etc., …but that could/would have delayed all this a LOT.
and I really wanted, and felt it was time, to be done with it all.

how amusing that the roomtard panicked over a harmless garden snake about the size of a finger,
showing me she defaults to mindless needless fear,
then reconfirmed it by panicking anytime I said/did anything other than mindlessly parroting whatever the masses/tv-scum were doing;
panicked when i suggested a healthy diet for her suiciding-via-hambugers idiot father,
panicked when i took her dog on a trail walk –which her dog PULLED ME during; PLENTY of energy,
panicked when i said words other than the words she was used to others hearing.
AND she tried to steer me away from my goal,
tried to get more money out of me, telling me I “SHOULD” by her trailer –even though there was no reason at all to even suggest it.
lying to me about what protein is,
lying to me about how to meet ppl; claiming you have to get a dog to do that,
lying to me about other renters.
lying to me about diseases that don’t exist.
lying to me about test results.
lying to me about what “she knew”.
and on and on.
watching degeneracy on tv. being a degenerate. being nice to degenerate neighbors. etc.
All that crap on her walls was just parroting/mimicry; she had no idea what yoga or peace was really about. or health.
and she was DAILY sick, ALWAYS coughing. EVERY MORNING making herself sick.
Anything other than COMPLETE PARROTING of the masses/trends, she couldn’t handle.
Wow.
Talk about a failed human.
Soooo glad I gave her a taste of her own medicine; she chose to be a liar/fake, so I lied about my books, and faked liking her and her dog she chose to train to SHIT IN HER OWN HOUSE.
Soooo glad I scared her with cussing; she was afraid of everything, thus no different than the ‘demon’ lfb default-panicker.

I wonder if Trump is pretending to be xian/zionist… in order to lure out more actual xombies… to better ruin/target/track their evil kind.
interesting idea.

how amusingly retarded that humans steal LIVES, then get mad when Iii take FREE PICTURES from them.
how amusingly retarded that humans think they have ANY right to tell ME what to do, after all the HORRIBLE SHIT THEY have done.
how amusingly retarded of humans to keep trying to dominate and shame me… when FORTY YEARS of that ALWAYS failed.
They really seem to only do what is bad and failing.

Lol i don’t have enough money to be at risk of gambling and losing any

It occurred to me today that the Moon when it becomes a Full Moon may take what I had worked on that past 28 days and manifest it for me. : )

Me cussing never stopped them from coming.Me calling out and focusing never reliably caused them to come.Me letting them initiate… didn’t cost me opportunitie

If I “let go of the past”, I would still be getting daily bullied by those morons from childhood.
Remembering the past and doing what I can to stop their evil/crimes is the only reason anything got better.
So far, no form of communication or explaining has reached any of them. Only avoiding them more and more has.

All I did was tell the truth and be loving, and they threatened my very life.
So I switched to just minding my own business, writing down ideas and likes, and they Kept threatening my life.

Even though the typist stubbornly keeps posting evil bullshit in between tolerable posts, I can still be a better example by posting only good things and to the best of my ability.
She really is inferior, just like all the others.
She is just somehow able to keep in touch While being inferior.

OFP for months in a row,
daily work on only what I say,
tanning,
meals in peace,
explorations,
the great outdoors,
natural temperatures,
and on and on;
…life is pretty good in all areas except for humans.

Still amazed at how retarded rialon revealed himself to be –as retarded as lagua; nothing but a soulless bully;
he threatened my life,
cowardly refused to make eye contact,
lied about why he was that dark-moody, blaming it on his wife,
thought I was after his kids or something,
never explained why,
hadn’t even seen me in YEARS,
and that is how he chose to be at a REUNION of all events.
That was pure evil.
He vibed unmistakably.
His actions all showed total laziness and honorlessness and idiocy.
He made no effort to communicate or understand or even look at me.
Unreal.
Humans really do have to be wiped out to stop their mindlessness.
They refuse ANYthing good/civil.
They make up enemies just for another excuse to try and be hateful and creepy.
They care Only about being creeps.
I spent ALL my time in the military being honorable and studious, and all my time AFTER the military being honorable and studious, yet he just made up a dark fantasy with zero provocation or evidence or logic…
Unreal.
Only pure evil would radiate that much pitch blackness at a guy who spent his life learning and bravely traveling to help people in all lands.
How do they keep managing to get thinking and interaction THAT wrong??
..
If he had bothered to actually read my site or observe me or get to know me, the ONLY thing he should have done was offer me an appreciative handshake for my COUNTLESS acts of service, and congratulate me earning degrees and certifications, and tell me how good it is to see I am alive and well, and offer to fund my research…
He threatened my life.
Then lied about it… right after doing it.
How can a man be that honorless and insane… and not be struck down by the gods?
..
They (nonvegans) hunt and pay for the killing of COUNTLESS kids and BABIES EVERY DAY, and I Never even Thought of doing that sick crap, yet they think Iiii am after their kids. Unreal.
How stupid can they Be?
How can they do those evils CONSTANTLY… while actually believing guys like me who Never do… are the dangerous ones??

“Think what a wonderful world”???? How? That is a psyop attempt at getting ppl to be apathetic and delusional.
Think what it IS; NEVER disregard evil, focusing only on lame almost-good.

That scrooge story is just another psyop; attempting to shame and reprogram anyone who is against the plagiarized holiday warped into hyper-consumerism.
Really, that story should have been about respecting the wise man who rejected the new spin on what used to be good, and listening to His advice on how to go back to yuletide celebrations/traditions, etc..

It shouldnt matter to me if the hotties show up on christmas, as it is a fake holiday.
What matters is That they show back up.

Were those childhood computers and computer games to groom me to associate fun with doing hours of work on those devices?; to ease me into what I did in these Recent yrs?
Maybe.
Either way, it helped.

“Dark ambi” is the typist w her unhelpfulness, idiocy, lethally bad advice, etc.
Apparently the ambi who showed up a few times was neutral ambi.
And apparently she, like so many other things, has to happen in threes; apparently the Ambi who is good to me is next.

Me embracing my natural neg reactiom to their grossness didnt cause them to be neg back; they were also neg when i genuinely focused on their good, and neg when i was neutral in passing.

Tanning on xmas eve! Best setup so far, too!
And situps! Without need for opening the isomat!

The greatest possible gift this Christmas is what I already have and gave myself;
this time alone, in prophet-like desert isolation,
which is the only thing that allows me to finally get this massive project done,
the entire vision thought of, written down, organized, reviewed, edited, published, etc..
Amen.

Note that the typist’s Fairy side and 2 Fairy characters were last, even after several slave-girls;
her most-feminine and magical aspects…
dared to become known to me… even after her submissive/sexual aspects.

All those cunts who showed up just to test me? Now nbr1 enemies.
Others tried to kill me, but the bitches were more recent, And they were playing w my heart / treading on my dreams.
They also LET those others try to kill me, thus they are complicit.
Guess we gotta nuke them, too.
Cataclysms for everyone!

It soon I sense shall be time to end contact w that lying moron neglecter of a typist.
I am so sick of all her dropped hints and spying and bullshit and pharma cartel parroting…
Sick of her xianism.
Sick of being limited to texts and memes.
Sick of her saying things will work out within the year, and she has a feeling, and then “what if there is no timetable”, etc..

Apparently all i can do is work for now.
At least it is all for myself.

Vague memory refresh? …of bicycling back to Halo-esque hwy underpass… and of hiking north. Did I do those back in 2017?
Maybe skipping them this time; no pt redoing that stuff.

It is difficult for me to believe Any of them after how many times they were dead wrong or even proudly lying.
It is difficult for me to feel Any desire for the hotties who showed up after how cunty/moody/stupid/uselessly they behaved.
Maybe i Should just be alone and jacking, at least for now; the humans showed me None of them are mature.

Even when i was holding my bladder way longer than anyone should, causing pain and damage, risking my life to be disciplined, the retarded recruits Still made fun –and Loved being evil at me, when any Sane being would have been aMazed at my selfcontrol, and Praising me for how long I held on.

“Sinners reborn into immortality”… could mean those looped back to Earth by Sin; the original name for the current Moon.

Rmbr how verbally abusive and cowardly roundabout doc2 was during tats?
I think when he can’t phys hurt ppl, he likes to emotionally hurt them, or lie them into situations in which other bad beings might hurt them.

Her bullshit hiding, and the typist’s retarded advice, stir my hate, and ahow me what a useful emotion hate is; it makes me work with far less thought of either of them, not caring as much when they are silent for a day or more.
All the emotions are tools in jars on a shelf in my mind. All are useful.

Like that damn fleshlight, the typist is the best so far; she is the nicest and most useful of all females i have met so far, and most of her messages are good.
She is retarded about some topics, but she is pretty dark good for a phase2 fucker.
I will get better than both to replace them eventually, but for now… they provide relief… usually.
Soon here, the phys relief and the mental relief will no longer come from 2 separate items/things, but many ppl who r not separate, and all these ppl being who i wrote of.
Amen.

The memes are as useless as prayers.
Ugh.
At least they are Nice messages for a change; unlike the retard cunt messages and comments of all the bullies and losers I met.

Maybe the gods showed me the scum n that town twice… to both 1) make sure i write a spell to end them all, and 2) see that superpowers are real –and easy, at least for me.

the typist mindlessly parroting lethal lies… makes her/it little different than that shit-head room’tard

The moon always casting a circular shadow doesn’t prove it is a sphere; it only indicates a circular, if not spherical, object is maintaining its orientation, its familiar ‘face’/side always toward us.

Does the typist struggle to sleep / have insomnia… because of all the poisoning and lying she/it does?
Is it also because she dislikes actual light, such as the light of the full Moon?

“what if there is no time table” is not the typist hinting at some secret knowledge of real-Ambi having no plans of returning to me;
it is the typist defaulting to the negative, trying to scare/spur me into getting back into the herd for her primitive notion of what “safe” is.
What she WOULD have said if she was GOOD-minded is: “You are an inspiration and hero and wonderful man for holding that healthy family vision this long. I am glad she showed you she is real. I hope she will return to you soon. I am sure you can survive even if it takes her a while to return to you. I support your decision. Your instincts have served you well this whole time.”

Late Night trailhead parking lot:
Deja vu on the 4 yuppies walking by and the 1 guy saying “that is funny” when his brunette woman kept looking at me as if me enjoying some sun from my own vehicle was weird to their dumbasses.

Deja vu on that too-boobsy almost-ambi at terrible’s, driving off w that guy n the gray pickup pulling the white horse short-trailer; I rmbr feeling worried in 2017 they were another rude sign trying to make me worry i had missed my opportunity w ambi and she was w someone else.
But after re-meeting her, I am really doubting she is worthy of me… at all.

Interesting how when i got sick of the typist’s bullshit excuses, no longer wanting to rp w her, she stopped RPing and even texting for days. Could just be bc of xmas, but still; another curious alignment that suggests spying through my phone.
Occam’s Razor; she is either lying about spying telepathically, or lying about spying technologically.

“Do you just want to be alone?” Yet another retarded and condescending question from yet another condescending retard who didn’t even bother to ask why I do what I do, or what I like, or who I want to meet, and didn’t bother noticing or accepting that I spent decades making myself marketable, presentable, approachable, and available, calling out to hundreds, if not thousands, never once seeking isolation / being alone.
The real question is “Do all of YOU just want to be alone?” because you keep doing everything you know I don’t like, never trying to get to know me, never showing any respect or civility.
I wanted to be with Ambi and the others until they repeatedly showed me how rude and/or stupid they are. Now I no longer mind however long it takes before I can be with them, because it would clearly just be a chore, them testing me all the time, never respecting my culture or limits or needs or time.

“It’s not in your time. It’s in god’s time.” translates to: You parrot gibberish you don’t understand,
you are gullible enough to believe blatant lies,
you gravitate to the false and plagiarized religions of cowards and sloths,
you value and prioritize imaginary friends over real people,
and I am not a concern of yours even when I am attacked and desperate.

Tue26dec2023
Another almost ambi
Chevron on blue diamond w of vegas.
Black strappy top, too boobsy, defent face, remove ear rings, make more hourglassy like az one.
Gray dogde ram pulling white trailed w blonde buzzcut black sunglasses guy driving
1:04pm.

Even if the typist somehow learned how to send appropriate messages, it still wouldn’t really be an improvement; it would still be just messages, when I should have gotten to live w real Ambi HALF A DECADE AGO.

It is interesting that after i wrote a 2-yr sex-ed curriculum, a similar concept got applied by Outlanders, youtubed by the usual default-negative moron peasants angered about it.
The trouble is that the Outlander version of the multi-year sex-ed program starts at a time before puberty/sexuality, and in a way that programs kods during formative yrs, rather than my system which only uplifts already-adolescent people who are naturally developing as compatible with me.

Idk if i mean nothing to them, but i mean so little to them that they don’t show up when i need them, they only randomly appearing and choosing not to say it is them.
Fuck them all.

They showed up long before you had completed my design/website.
Ambi showed in oregon before you had even Started the new site.
They showed up regardless of your mood, fitness, cussing, faith, anything.
They showed up at gas stations, beaches, etc..
You don’t have to go to a certain type of place, or be a certain way, or be at a certain milestone; they show regardless.

Joss Whedon didnt get Firefly cancelled by being inflexible. Fox, the media company, was the inflexible one which cancelled Firefly for no good reason.

If the renters and others in BS hadnt been degenerates, greedy, idiots, and liars, you wouldn’t have explored as much, reoriented, or left in time to avoid the oced roads.

I was lied to and about, misunderstood and misinterpreted, even when I was following every law and custom perfectly, so there was no incentive for me to not be myself, innovate, isolate, and so on.

Let erin janus be a reminder to always evacuate ppl who “wake up”; before they either go insane or get replaced by cunty blatant-liar cheap-copies.

the typist’s diet makes her not unlike the roomtard.
the typist’s religtardness makes her not unlike lfb.
the typist’s idiotic parroting of philosophies at illogical moments makes her not unlike vik’.
etc.

wed27dec2023 6:30am
NE and SE corners of Blue Diamond – S Durango intersection:
12/+ cop SUVs, most with lights on, some in groups of 2 or 3,
at both the Chevron (NE corner) and Circle K (SE corner) gas stations.
a sign to calm down / stay calm?
the most cops I have seen in a long time… bc I am the angriest I have ever been at the typist?

Deja vu after getting that meh pizza at Blaze. Pretty sure i did that in 2017 before driving to some other city/state.

Their silence and abandonment of me is why i got the entire project wrapped up.
Still, i have no way to replace my tires or make it now.
This is the end apparently.

LVAC mem refresh.
Not in their sys…bc the time loop erased my last visit from their experience?
Whatevr.
Back. Paid. Gonna use it to pass the gd time.
Ugh.
Fucking bitches. So mad at them.
At least i can workout again.

I remember coming to this gym bk n 2017… and feeling ticked when he said the women have a private gym dnstairs; sexist, but whatever; most r ugly and all r rude, anyway.
I rmbr the panic and sadness surge bc i was paying for stuff not n bs/yc. This time, i am just numb to it, and i hate everyone who showed up.
This time…i welcome this chance to have daily free showers, allday gym access w no ice roads, no more pc all day.
I guess it is time. Did a deployment’s worth of relocating and pc stuff.
Now maybe another several months of gym.
It is the best way to get thru the winter.
God damn you, ambi.
I should be with You.

The typist no longer gives me relief.
Only having witnessed ambi and sabrina and time travel gives me relief.
But all anger me, too; i do not yet get them daily.

I wonder why i was destined to do this 2gyms mbrship thing…twice.
Whatevr.
Beats going to natl parks for no reason.
Beats srching for the cowardly hotties who keep letting me fend for myself.

The typist was wrong; i never needed her; i needed the ambi who showed up, but both she and her chose to confuse and betray me.
I deserve so much btr than her/them.

I have learned the hard way to always lie to humans, always deny them my content, as it is btr that way; none have yet to react correctly to it, thus it clearly is for me, not for them.

Another fucked up lure/bait; “15/mo…after 64…and w another 50 in 2 months. Wtf. Whatever.
Still comes out to a dollar a day or so.
..
I think last time i got that smoothie and couldnt finish it. This time, waited until tmrw. Little progress.

All those years of rp…as if trng/grooming us both…only for her to be a chicken and bitch and confusing THREE TIMES?????

Just like the spicks in mexifail, a worthless disrespectful punk noisemaker parks and blasts right nxt to me.
Even when i mind my own business for years.
Humans clearly have to be exterminated.
They refuse to learn even the simplest manners.
There is no goodness n them.
I am glad i tested so many. Now i know.

The longer they do bs like stubborn rudeness and not supporting me, the longer they deny themselves what they clearly wanted when they showed up.
Still blown away at how they keep ruining their own chances w me.
How stupid can they Be?

Loopbreak. Last time, i almost cried n the gym…bc i did my workout this evening while resuming texting her.
This time, thankfully, i was n my new free suv, so i didnt have to hide the tears.
Still fkd up god or ambi is making me go thru this, though.

That bright ylw sign on the gym…at the last moment b4 i punched north or west…stopped me.
Why did my gut tell me to go for it…like last time?
Why did my gut tell me to Not go for Ambi 3x? But i know; her bad manners, and unexpected appearances, and making it obvious she had spied and let me fall apart and deal w Soooo many horrible ppl. And all the bitches b4 her. And how creepily her voice in az sounded like when lfb was playing stupid. Soooo many bad signs, or at least bad associations.
Smh.

That fb short vib about the Man of Steel actor saying the leaning-down phase was toughest bc always hungry and moody… made me think maybe the gods r doing that to me now; they have removed all the unnecessary trips, bad jobs, bad friends, …until all i have left is survival and my 2 passtimes; wrapup and fitness resume.
Even my acct is so lean, barely staying n the blk, and redlining monthly… Ugh.
Scary.
Not fair at all.

The typist’s kind have always exaggerated n the neg, always lied; the funerals she says she keeps going to… sounds like a perfect ex. of that.
I can’t truly care, though; she and they r openly unhealthy, proudly nonvegan, and prob injecting the pharma poison.
Whatever the case, funerals would mean She is having Her proverbial fat trimmed by the gods rn, too.
Maybe it will knock some sense into her; make her realize she has to actually support her friends to Be a friend; make her realize she might lose me next.

Was malik right about many govt agencies paying attn to me even as a child?
or was it just that him saying that… somehow manifested it later?
or did it just turn out that way bc they r idiots?

If i dont end up in utah at the start of 2024, flying to cruise and europe, then driving to archi’s then alaska, then flying to pennsylania camp odyssey, then bk to ak, then drive dn through harper’s ferry idaho to helena, then fly to eastern WA for HR trng, I will have my next loopbreak/s.
Either that means i avoided that repeat… or the timetravel ended before those events; before the start of 2018.
Do i test it by going to those places and seeing if they rmbr me? lol
At least now i have a full year of foresight.

So…
2016 indiana was apparently 2022.
2017 bs to lv was apparently 2023.
So which yr did the time travel stop?
2018 (which might have been 2024), 2019 (2025), 2020 (2026), 2021?
I got to Indiana at the end of 2021, so… has to stop before 2027, right?

All signs point to someone/thing having bred only human runts for generations,
just like some humans breed runts of tigers to become cats,
and runts of wolves to become dogs/lapdogs;
just look at the staggering number of humans who are weak and hopelessly stupid, unable to learn even if they wanted to; it’s nearly 100%.
This may have been done to create an easily-manipulated/kept workforce (slave population/demographic).

I keep thinking maybe I Was told back in 2017 of cb’s son dying…
What a thing to barely or not remember, even though ~6 years passed since that time-travel.

So many times I thought, ‘THIS must be when I left.’ but then the next day came, and the next, and event after event refreshed my memory; how I had stayed much longer than those times which had stuck in my mind as emotional moments of me THINKING about leaving, not having ACTUALLY left each failed city I was forced to resort to.
And now… so many times I keep thinking, ‘I hope one day very soon… I will look back on this time of forced solitude… with gratitude, it having wrapped up my work ASAP, allowing me to manifest being with my beloved real-Ambi ASAP, I ever since that switch to Phase 3… focusing on her, able to. Amen.’

at whole foods, minding my own business as always, and a creepy demonic piece of shit and his blob bitch… decides to walk over and interrupt my meal, asking for jumper cables,
and when I say I don’t have any, he nods at me as if judging/distrusting me.
what a racist degenerate.
typical punk kids.
smh.
nothin new. latest of countless failures and disgraces of america/mankind.
what a worthless failed species.

another scam; 15/mo is more like 24 with the signup fee and annual fee the ad didn’t mention.
and faggot evil on the TVs.
and no shower curtains in the locker room.
amazing how evil these beasts are.
can’t wait to angelic-nuke this city.
good riddance.

A few days b4 end of 2023, uploads stopped being allowed by the host company, and i tossed the latest fleshlight; signs my site is as complete as it needs to be, and i no longer have to turn to partial satisfaction tools.
Interesting bc i had grown fed up w any uploads/pc work; right in time; another perfect alignment helping me switch focuses from pc to physique/workouts.

Was my orange nuke rise night ‘dream’ me sharing my consciousness / becoming able to witness through the consciousness of a nuclear fireball?
Do explosions have consciousness?

As I suspected, The Law of One is christian (pastor son) gibberish attempting to sound smart and esoteric and new-age, while making unexplained wild and illogical claims, ignoring the mayan time scale, condescending toward the anceints, etc.
https://www.lawofone.info/synopsis.php
..
It pretends that all are mortal, not mentioning mortality being a punishment for nonveganism.
It is based on the death cycle, not true evolution or restoration.
It is based in pressuring ppl to serve all, even evil, rather than balancing self.
It teaches the opposite of what is true, good, and stabilizing.
Its essence is chaos, evident in both its gibberish and attempt at diverting all readers’ energy/work in support/enabling of endless growth/metastasis/death.

Still amazes me how stupid sf was, implying that a 1time drugged experiment somehow meant i should ignore my findings and keep accepting what didnt work at all back then.
That’s like telling ppl that when any other experiment failed, they should keep doing things that way instd of trying new ones,
or like telling ppl that if they discovered something was poisonous, they shouldnt say it was poisonous, all bc they tried it once, thus they should like it and let others poison themselves, learning the hard way.

Never thought I’d be at the end of upload ability for the new website. Wow. Kinda bittersweet.
Only fitness remains.
I wish my dreamfam was now, but… apparently they are still being hidden/heartless.

Suuuper nice loopbreaks:
site done
creativerse models measured
tanning by bouldercity hill

Nothing is sacred unless I say it is.

The trouble is not that i only tolerate normal (attractive) chicks, but have found them unworthy of trust.
The trouble is that i only tolerate polite ppl, and so far no one has chosen to Be polite.
The trouble is that they expect me to chase and read their minds and parrot the evil bs they parrot.
But the byproduct/flipside of that is that i scouted dozens of nations, screened millions of ppl, gained the only true undestanding of how things are, got my website done, and found out what my minimum budget is.
I also found out i have endless stamina in multiple ways; physical, mental, etc.
So now that i have so much understood and completed, do my students and followers finally show up, not just making ahead-of-schedule emergency-checkups back when i was having stress venting?

Lol the only times i ever see the fake presidents is when sepehr puts clips of them n his vids; those illegitimate leaders are so negligible and blocked.
And lol at trump saying over and over what good genes he and his loser teammates have; such blatant lies or pure retardation, he being so hideous, thus having the worst genes.
Maybe he is just doing that bc he is told to…bc some intel guy has data suggesting it keeps the race-based idiots calm enough that they do not riot/rebel, buying the regime time to do yet another masktard-style scam/powergrab.

I wonder if i had talked w that ambi lookalike… would she have left anyway, telling me she could only be there that one night?

Ah, the 2 extreme ends of the spectrum humans seem divided to, retardedly polarizing to;
too much sex/individuality on one end (fucking anything, ending their own bodyparts, mad at anyone who has standards),
vs. too little sex/individuality (fucking only to spawn, never having a vision to cause beautiful/handsome offspring, preventing any progress/fixes, mad at anyone who doesn’t parrot their vestigial gibberish tradition/s).
Then there is me in the middle, the guide humanity needs so badly.

Even george lucas got his own plot wrong; anakin didnt bring balance to the force by being forgiven by his son; he brought balance to the force by being a normal dominant male with an uncompromising vision, destroying worlds overrun with disgusting chaos.
Also by embracing All himself; All his emotions.
He stopped bringing balance to the force when he died, but, for a time, he did bring balance to it.
And what about the Empire beFore him? It was sort of keeping order, but lacked the firmness of such a man with such a vision/nature as his.

More phase2 bs:
I get daily gym again, but no privacy n showers,
and
the evil faggot videos keep me away from the pussy machines (treadmills, etc.).
Whatever.

…

I was stressing last night, but felt great today, especially when I sunned.
Nice how my mood improved so much, even b4 the hotties return to explain themselves to me.

I loved how that person on the motorcycle did a couple long wheelies in front of the center lane to my right as i was heading over to u-turn. That person looked over their left shoulder, giving me the idea he/she was saluting me that way. Hopefully it is a hottie who knows me and will meet me very soon.

Desert fireworks during the night before new year’s eve

Does me clearing my calendar entries b4 2024 mean another sign i am ahead of the shift moments?

What a retarded hypocrite that pastor was, calling an ancient man a butcher… while he himself (the pastor) openly funded butchering for all the meals on that trip.

The typist claiming her characters aren’t real… is another of her many “stupid leaks”; she is not everywhere, and does not know everyone, yet she assumes she does, and defaults to a negative.
That is also like if I told her her god doesn’t exist; her characters have been met by me, and are part of my pantheon.

How interesting/fitting that i ended up in the biggest desert on my continent to write the bible corrections; so similar to the legends of the main bible characters going into their own desert/s to write religious laws.

When i praised and prayed to god, humans were assholes to me and i was kept poor.
When i cussed at god, nothing changed, so i do whatever i want, as it didnt matter either way, at least not yet.

After seeing how dishonest and evil and hideous the townsfolk are, i completely get why some pay extra to keep those scum out of at least the yc.

For spreading lethal lies,
abusing drugs,
relig spamming me,
ignoring my diet,
leaving me to endure those scumbag peasants Twice n her state,
leaving me to die for years,
I sentence the typist and all her fam to eternal damnation.
Amen.

That bitch typist having all those funerals…is either another of her many lies, or she getting what she deserves for leaving Me to die.
That bitch proto sabrina got what she deserved; i was trying to enjoy the sunset, she stood in its way, blocking my view, then that guy accosted / sexually harassed her; she was sexually toying with me, disrespecting me, instd of doing what she should have (walking over to politely introduce herself and ask if she may sit w me so we can be close while watching the sunset tgthr), thus she herself quickly got a karmic payback.
Good.

“Be yourself.” Lol; that would mean cataclysm-ing every human realm I have been to so far.

I rmbr that old man facing me from his machine as I used the stretches cage.
Must have been a 2017 event.

So glad I noticed the iron bs ingredient in that brand of soup, and stopped acquiescing to it.

It vibed so clearly/obviously that the guy walking out with his daughter from that hot springs in Yellowstone I drove to…
was not just trying to get my attention with her, but was trying to bully me by misusing/abusing her, thus offending both me and her.
I am glad to see her eyes were enraged, her aura furious, when I walked past her when he was using the males toilets-room in the Old Faithful visitors center.
I am glad I got that opportunity to show her good manners/treatment; walking politely by her, softly asking her to excuse me, giving her the power and respect, which her false father had denied us both.
My, how even pure evil loser scum such as him, still work in my favor; they always make my normal interaction shine so brightly by comparison to their total darkness.

Is having both boy and girl kids in modern amer schools for 18yrs…part of the subtle campaign to blend the 2 genders?; for all their formative yrs… they r kept close tgthr, taught and tested the same way, let to join the same classes and sports and clubs…
Shouldnt they be around each other, but taught very dif things specific to each of the 2 genders?

“Be yourself.” is one of the most idiotic brainless things ever parroted; you are always yourself, and cannot not be yourself; even when you are behaving a certain way to see if that gets better results, that is still you being yourself in that you are using your thoughts and tactics.
Also, every time I tried the “no filter” / honesty approach, I got threatened, fined, poisoned, etc.
Sound advice would have been “headsup: some humans are so evil that they will hate you just because they default to hating most things”

I am proud of myself for focusing on uploads until uploads were no longer allowed.
One thing at a time, and always to the max/limit.
“Give it my best/all.”

…

It is very curious… how everything got wrapped up so well… by 2023’s end.  There really must be something to this calendar thing, especially the 13-year first/last cycle/level of the Mayan one/overlay.  So interesting.

 

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