Amusement Park

Welcome to the greatest collection of rollercoasters on Earth!

 

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Table of Contents:

1. Introduction
2. Hours of Operation
3. Staff
4. Lines
5. Rides Directory
6. Overall
7. Lazy Lava River
8. Centrifugal-force UFO
9. Bumper Cars
10. Splashdown Boat
11. La Vibora
12. The Hammer
13. Steel Dragon
14. Superman
15. Batman
16. Insanity Thrill Ride
17. The Texas Giant
18. Kingda Ka
19. New Feature: The Radio Tower
20. Millennium Force
21. G-Force
22. Tower of Terror
23. Subway Roller-coaster
24. The Oh My God
25. Jet-coaster
26. Additional Notes
27. Novels Excerpt
28. 2020 Update
29. 2022 Updates
30. 2023 Update
31. Relevant Holidays
32. 2023 Update:  2022 Scale-model in Minecraft
33. 2024 April/+

 

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Introduction:

Every good city has an amusement park, especially a resort city, and Inisfree’s is themed in honor of those called ‘adrenaline junkies’.  Almost every single ride here thrills its riders with the most alarming of velocity changes and G-force fluctuations, with the only exception being the ‘lazy river’ which encircles every other ride as a sort of slow, leisurely, mass-transit system of inner tubes.  It should be noted, of course, that though this first attraction is not at all quick or disorienting like the others, it is still a thrill to behold and enter, as it looks and moves like actual flowing lava; not something to be taken lightly… for those who don’t yet know its innocence.

 

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Rides Directory:

There are 17 squares (ride areas separated by a grid of wide walkways) from which to start or finish.  (Each is 5×5 pixels on the Inisfree map, and each pixel represents a 66’x66′ area; each square is [(66×5)x(66×5)] = 330×330 = 108,900’^2.)  There is also one ‘lazy river’.  * None are water-rides because all of those are for the water-themed Amusement-park Ship, which is our version of Wet ‘n Wild.

1. Lazy Lava River
2. Centrifugal Force UFO (panels slide up walls)
3. Bumper Cars (with cockpit in a gyroscope!)
4. Splashdown Boat
5. La Vibora (luge/toboggan)
6. The Hammer (with rotating pods)
7. Steel Dragon (longest track)
8. Superman (Six Flags Over Texas, steep loop)
9. Batman (hanging from torso, legs dangling)
10. Insanity Thrill Ride at Stratosphere Tower, Las Vegas (chairs hung from cables, swinging out from wheel)
11. The Texas Giant
12. Kingda Ka (tallest and fastest)
13. Millennium Force (4.5 Gs at some points)
14. G-Force (4-person car drops then swoops onto its back)
15. Tower of Terror
16. Subway Roller-coaster to and along the Underway
17. The Oh My God (drops into whirlpool pit)
18. Jet-coaster (to Slant-top Spire and back)

 

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Overall:

Inisfree’s theme-park is located between the Coliseum Amphitheater, Epcot II museum, zoo, and Abu Simbel highway-tunnel pass.  With its parking lot, it covers just under one square mile.  All but two of its rides are just above ground-level; one goes down into a cave system, and the other has a flight-path out past the main lake and canyon.

 

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Lazy Lava River:

This ride was spotted in Idaho, Minnesota, Thailand, and other places.

Also see:

• lazy river, perfect lighting color-scheme
• lazy river pool-tiles w pink blossoms

Park visitors can relax by floating along this man-made river which doubles as one of the perimeters of the park.  At night, its lighting is red and orange, making it look like an extension of the fake lava-flows coming off the nearby also-fake volcano.  Some of its banks are formed out of materials made to look like cooling lava; a signature-rounded black with inlaid veins of glowing red.

 

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Centrifugal-force UFO:

This ride was spotted in New Jersey, then Ontario.

This is a great way to teach youths and new students to the field of aerospace engineering 1) why “flying saucers” don’t spin, and 2) how a Repulsine component works; why some of its inner parts rotate.  For those just seeking the fun sensations, they are encouraged to try changing positions on the mats of this ride’s inside wall.  The brave get up and stand.

 

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Bumper Cars:

These are all across the U.S..

Our bumper-cars building is like an indoor roller-skating rink, except we’ve added mirror-walls, neon lighting, and a few other features to make this classic pass-time more otherworldly.  The bumper-cars are able to accelerate quickly, rotate without having to turn, and prevent any near-flipping.  They also have room for two; if couples wish to ride in the same car together, they are welcome to.  Helmets are provided, full head enclosure.

 

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Splashdown Boat:

This ride is also called the Tidal Wave at Six Flags Magic Mountain, California.

This boat follows a relatively low and slow log-chute-style construct to a single slide that results in the boat creating a wave a couple stories tall.  The brave can stand on the bridge intentionally built right in the path of this reliable wave.  It is recommended they close their eyes, though.

 

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La Vibora:

This ride was spotted in Six Flags Over Texas, Texas.

Like the athletes who compete in the luge and toboggan, riders here can experience the roller-coaster feel without the track.  Not quite as fast as Olympic bobsleds, this ride is still very thrilling.  There are times when the car riders are in goes completely horizontal, almost up over the walls.

 

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The Hammer:

One version of this ride was in Canada’s Wonderland, another in Indiana.

The original the founder has in mind has not yet been found.  It looked a lot like the ones in these pictures, except its cars were pods with joysticks in them, allowing the riders to turn them independently, deciding which ways they would rotate, as well as upon which axis or axes.  That is how Inisfree’s Hammer is; you can control all axes while the main arm keeps you going high up and arching right back down.

 

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Steel Dragon:

This ride was spotted in Nagashima Spa Land, Japan.

The longest roller-coaster in the world now has a clone; you can experience its copy right here in Inisfree.  It isn’t the tallest or fastest, but it does take longer to complete than the Texas Giant; riders can expect to be on this for up to five minutes completing a single lap.  Because that takes so much longer than the other roller-coasters, this one comes with a parallel second track, allowing multiple trains to run at the same or offset times.

 

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Superman:

This ride was spotted in Six Flags America, Maryland.

Better than its original, our version doesn’t just include the colors of the Man of Steel; Inisfree’s Superman roller-coaster comes with a flying animatronic likeness of Superman which flies around the track as your train travels along it.  Supergirl in animatronic form is also here, along with many others from that famous series of comics.  For those wanting to fly just like them, ask the Inisfreeans for training over in the Search & Rescue Area; there are suits like the ones in Iron Man available for use.

 

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Batman:

This ride is at 7 locations across the U.S..

Animatronic figures from the Batman comics and movies are found alongside this roller-coaster’s track.  Enjoy encountering all the ones you know and love as you fly between the scaled skyscrapers of downtown Gotham.  One of the original Batmobiles makes an appearance, too, as well as the Batwing!  This ride ends with a view of you flying back into the Batcave beneath Wayne Manor, all his vehicles, gadgets, and computer areas visible below.

 

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Insanity Thrill Ride at Stratosphere Tower, Las Vegas:

This ride was spotted in Nevada.

What can you expect from the founder of this city, who always loved to climb the tallest cranes and other structures, jump off bungee towers, and even stall his training aircraft just to negotiate their dives and spins?  You can expect this ride, which suspends you out over the rest of the entire park!  Climb its all-in-one-well to the top, or take one of its elevators just as you would in Seattle’s Space Needle, check out the views from the radial observation decks, and then see if you’ve got the guts to go out over the edge.

 

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The Texas Giant:

This ride was spotted in Six Flags Over Texas, Texas.

The original was a very jarring roller-coaster; it was made of a wooden frame back in the days before computers existed to help engineers plan and make smoother ones.  Some people walked away from the Texas Giant with painful injuries.  The New Texas Giant fixed all that; it was made of steel, and with all the modern techniques.  Inisfree’s version here makes the ride even smoother.

 

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Kingda Ka:

This ride was spotted in Six Flags Great Adventure, New Jersey.

New Feature:  The Radio Tower

The Inisfreeans added this more-complex rise-and-fall section, as if the original track wasn’t intimidating enough!  Kingda Ka was known as the tallest and fastest roller-coaster on Earth.  Naturally, in Inisfree you get to enjoy a version of it that is just a few stories taller, and a few miles-per-hour faster.

 

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Millennium Force:

This ride was spotted in Ohio.

The most G-forces of any roller-coaster will be felt here.  It is not uncommon for riders to almost black out.  Some like the feel of fighter-jet maneuvers, though, and this ride is definitely for them.

 

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G-Force:

This ride is also called the Drop of Doom; in Six Flags Magic Mountain, California.

If you just want to feel negative-Gs (weightless) for several seconds, come try this ride.  It has three sides to it, allowing riders to take any of four box-cars; two drop and then curve out away from the main tower, while the cars on the tower’s sides just rise and fall straight up and down.  The ride’s system times it so all four cars meet at the top, racing each other back down.

 

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Tower of Terror

This ride was spotted in Tokyo, Japan.

Ride another box-car through this full-size mock-hotel to see part of The Twilight Zone brought to holographic life!  Four box-car tracks are concealed within this several-story building, each one going through both horizontal and vertical track sections.  Multiple surprises and drops will occur.

 

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Subway Roller-coaster:

This ride was spotted in Adventureland, Iowa.

You can board Inisfree’s version of it on the surface, still in view of our other themepark’s rides.  It will take you below ground-level, into and along the upper curves of our Underway, then back.  This is a great way to help newcomers orient to Inisfree’s largest underground attractions area; they’re in and out too quickly and safely for any claustrophobia or other depth/cave-based worries to sink in.

 

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The Oh My God:

This ride was spotted in Runaway Mountain, Texas.

Runaway Mountain is a roller-coaster in the Outlands that takes riders into a pitch-black building meant to be a mineshaft with a very unusual cart path.  Inisfree’s founder had the idea of making it a larger enclosure, complete with a more-intimidating contracting spiral into something very visually disorienting and alarming.  Its name says it all; this may be the scariest ride in the whole park, though it is still quite safe and fun.

 

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Jet-coaster:

This ride didn’t exist before.

Board it like a normal roller-coaster train, then get ready for actual take-off!  Its flight-path takes you out over Inisfree’s main beach, through its larger canyon, to the Slant-top Spire, and back to the theme-park.  Only one flying roller-coaster train is permitted in Inisfree’s airspace at a time, so this ride has a slightly longer line and wait than the other rides of our park.

 

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Additional Notes:

Most roller-coasters outside Inisfree (made by humans) were essentially the same thing; all of them had an exciting name, but that name had nothing to do with the way the roller-coaster ran.  For example, you might ride the Superman roller-coaster, but it was just another metal track with some loops, speed, and high sections.  Why was it called Superman?  In Inisfree, the rides’ names closely reflect the nature of their motion and environment; our Batman ride, for example, takes you on an adventure through a scale model of Gotham City, with all the characters from the Batman comics present and almost within arm’s reach.

Animatronics are used in all of our roller-coaster environments; you won’t see any ICVs manning them, as that would be a waste of their supreme intelligence.  The animatronics allow for a few basic movements and interaction scenes between the characters in the comic books of the heroes some of our rides are named after.  They also ensure every rider has the same satisfying and thrilling experience, getting to see them all, as if he or she is going on an adventure with the storybook heroes, encountering all the people they would and did.

We have no ‘kiddie rides’ here; Inisfree is a city for the biologically, mentally, and sexually mature.  While some of those mature people may enjoy kiddie rides from time to time, the majority of our guests prefer another class of rides.  The founder of our city does, too.

It is illegal to be out of shape in our amusement park, or anywhere in Inisfree, so you won’t see anyone who is anything other than fit.  This helps people fully enjoy the rides, and ensures no one tries to take up two seats, or can’t pull their safety-bar down to lock in place before each ride.  Outside Inisfree, there are laws and safety regulations that say you must be within a certain height range to ride most rides.  In our city and amusement park, we have this similar rule.

 

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Novels Excerpt:

Breakfast was vegan chicken noodle soup, made with King Oyster mushrooms cut up and seasoned like strips of chicken. It was the perfect way to start the day off with an immune-system boost and the familiar flavors of soul food from home. It was also the kind of meal which would sit well in the stomach, and that was something that would come in very handy during the hours ahead.

Lucifera and Auz drove along the Glowing Art Highway to the parking garages across from their amusement park. Like the parking levels built within the base of Inisfree’s school building, every space had more room than human parking spaces, and was separated from the adjacent spaces by landscaping, fountains, and beautiful statues. Nothing was cramped or shortened for efficiency or greed; everyone here had all the space they might ever want.

Inisfreean policewomen helped people looking for a place to park, as well as people looking for their vehicles after returning from enjoying the park for hours. This was rarely necessary, though, and was more of a courtesy, as the vehicles in Inisfree had a form of GPS which not only gave directions to destinations, but to the vacant parking spaces at those destinations, and because that same A.I. system helped the vehicles know when their drivers and riders wished to find and use them again. The vehicles could even park and retrieve themselves, so anyone onboard never even had to see the parking spaces they ended up in.

Entering the park after walking through the pedestrian underpass beneath that local section of the G.A.H., she would see that the walkways into and throughout their amusement park were not of concrete or asphalt, but something more akin to the surface of a basketball court; it was smoother, softer, faintly flexible, and professionally colored, giving walkers welcome-messages in all the major world languages, as well as arrows and other directions to the different eateries and attractions, complete with two-word descriptions of them, also in each of those languages, such as “vertical drop” and “tallest & fastest”. The soft walking surface also allowed them to more-easily collect the energy generated by foot traffic from it, which helped power some of the park.

Auz introduced her to another Inisfreean, who then showed her one of the holographic kiosks with a park map and related information. There were 18 rides in their park, all of them operational today. They were closest to the bumper-cars.

Trying the rides with her began with the least-intimidating one; those bumper-cars. They were given a short how-to video from the holographic displays over the waiting-line area, the Inisfreeans working there welcomed and helped those around them, and off they went! Within minutes, they had a good amount of time to race around and ram into each other, giving everyone a good laugh.

After that, they walked by the Lazy River, then walked over and stood where they could see some people get splashed by the big wave pushed up in front of the Splashdown boat, leaned against the rising wall-pads in the horizontally-spinning Gravitron, rode the luge-like La Vibora, and then got in one of the pods at the ends of the vertically-spinning metal arm called The Hammer. All of this took about an hour. Chatting and providing a few more introductions along the way added another hour or so.

After a breather, the Steel Dragon (longest track) came next, then Superman (many loops, rises, and turns), Batman (where the roller-coaster ‘cars’ had everyone hanging from their torso, legs dangling instead of in an enclosed seating area like the other roller-coasters had), and the Insanity Thrill Ride (chairs on metal arms, the whole group of them spreading out to face more downward, the whole group on a metal wheel on a larger metal arm that moved them out over the edge of the building they were on). Some people were only able to brave the stairs going up to that last one. The Inisfreeans staffing it were understanding and helped them back down.

Between rides, he got a few things to share with her so neither of them would feel too full to go on; a funnel cake, a vegan turkey-like leg, and a snow-cone with the syrup of her choice. They casually munched on them as they strolled around, picking out the next ride. Auz’s idea of ‘casually munching’ meant giant bites, though, so if she wasn’t quick… she might not get her even half of each of the three treats.

The New Texas Giant came after their meal; Auz wanted to show her how smooth the ride was before telling her how jarring its original in Dallas had been. Kingda Ka (the tallest and fastest) took them 500′ up, and at 130 MPH; it was the tallest and fastest not just in their park, but in the world. Millennium Force (4.5 Gs at some points) gave her a taste of what fighter-pilots experienced during some of their maneuvers. G-Force (a 4-person car drops then swoops onto its back) took them up 400′ feet for a straight-down drop.

Their version of the Tower of Terror was not really designed to be terrifying; just interesting and spiced up with surprise-moments of free-fall. The Subway Roller-coaster took them below ground and along the cave-based highway section called the Underway. The Oh My God (drops into whirlpool pit) took them into a large cube-shaped building with all the lights off until its central downward spiral was reached, at which point it lit up and rotated in a very disorienting way. Lastly, the Jet-coaster (to Slant-top Spire and back) took them soaring up out of the park, alongside the main lake and its cliff, through the larger of Inisfree’s two canyons, around a very narrow-necked and towering rock formation, and back to where it had left the park.

Lunch was at an Italian place in the park called Maggiano’s. Inisfree’s version of it was much less greasy, and made for easy eating, especially when paired with their deliciously clean water. Auz got the roasted-pear bruschetta, spinach & artichoke al forno, caprese hors d’oeuvres, butternut-squash ravioli, and a slice of carrot cake.

 

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2020 Update:

Until the end of this year, Inisfree only had roller-coasters, the “lazy river”, and eateries here.
Now? We’ve got games for those who are taking a breather between rides (pun intended).

• balls into bucket; underhand toss them from back past/outside the countertop
• baseball to drop diver into water; under- or overhand throw it at the circular target
• claw to pick up door-prizes / stuffed-animals in glass case; same as in most pizza joints
• darts to pop balloons; normal accuracy is all that’s required
• money grab in wind booth
• ring toss on pegs (or on anchored/fixed Coke bottles)
• sledge the gophers; also just like in pizza joints / arcades
• water-guns to popup discs on moving track; for intermediate-level close-range marksmanship

 

 

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2022 Updates:

Inisfree’s first and only Ferris wheel got added at the end of this year.

Inisfree’s first and only ice-skating rink got added here, too, at that time.

The following small ride is now also here:

Instead of offering regular (vegan) corndogs, we have these at this park:

and waffle-‘dogs’

 

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2023 Update:

Snow cones here and elsewhere across Inisfree are the Tropical Sno type; no high-fructose corn-syrup, instead only pure-cane sugar and natural fruit flavors/ingredients.

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Relevant Holidays:

1. 16 February (19 Februus on our calendar):  Ferris Wheel Day
2. 26 February (1 Mars on our calendar): Carnival

 

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2023 Update:  2022 Scale-model in Minecraft

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2024 April/+:

Mini forcefield domes over every roller coaster car protect others from anyone vomiting.  (The vomit gets disintegrated.)

October/November additions:

• Whac-A-Mole v2; not pop-up moles, but (1 of each) cop (fake authority), “doctor” (fake healer), glutton, politician (fake leader), and priest (fake religious)
• Whac-A-Mole v3; not harm-based (hammer) but rapid-reflexes default-soothing (FleshLight-like handheld) for another 5 unique pop-ups (1 of each dildo:  dog, dragon, horse, human, and squid-tentacle)

 

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