This is where skiers and snowboarders in Inisfree rest and dine between their runs down our miles of snowy slope.
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Table of Contents:
- Intro
- Dimensions & Layout
- Issued Gear
- Special Features
- Location & Layout (Images Begin)
- Comparison
- Staff
- Exterior Features
- Overall Interior
- Wall Art
- Other Decorations
- Bathrooms
- Modern Fashions Here
- Crafts
- Not Chair-lifts, but Booth-lifts
- 2021 Update
- 2022: Scale-model in Minecraft
- 2023: Inspiration from the Warren Miller Lodge
- 2024 June: Always-snowy Explanation
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Intro:
Named after the legendary warriors’ paradise from Norse mythology (specifically, one of the two halls in Asgard where the worthy chosen by Odin & Freyja, and flown there by her Valkyries, get to go and assist the gods in Asgard), this is Inisfree’s signature skiing and snowboarding resort. Valhalla II, or Valhalla, as the locals truncate it, comes complete with half a mile of snow lanes both above and below ground (inspired by the indoor skiing skyscraper built in Dubai), all of which are more than a mile long. Guests can ski directly from their suites’ balconies, and have full access to additional lanes for inner tube slides, the luge, and Olympics and X-Games-level super-pipe, ski jump ramps, and other obstacles. Indoor whirlpool jacuzzis with bay-window views of the slopes crown every suite, while larger whirlpool jacuzzis are located to the rear of this large lodge; on the up-slope closer to the Avalanche Wall.
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Dimensions & Layout:
The main building of this resort is the lodge which spans 594′ x 858′; 509,652 square feet; 11.7 acres. This main building also stands 660′ tall; 66 stories. Most of its floors being the same width and breadth, that gives this building just under 33,637,032 square feet of floor-space; 772.2 acres; plenty of room for more than 1,100 mansion-sized suites, or more than 84,000 apartment-sized ones. Its ground-level floors facing the start of its ski lanes all have C-shaped balconies which allow their guests to select skis from the racks on their porches and ski directly from their suites down the slopes. Suites on various lower floors along the slopes moving up the sides of this main building also have this feature, and some of the 2nd-story balconies on the ski-lanes side offer a snowy ski ramp down to the same start points. The ski lanes measure 1.25 miles long (appearing to be one mile long from a basic top-down, rather than topographical, map), but skiers actually cover many multiples of this distance due to the different ski trails and switchbacks which go all the way to the bottom.
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Issued Gear:
Since everyone who comes to Inisfree brings only themselves, we decided to loan out all skiing and snowboarding gear from this building. People reserving one of this hotel’s rooms/suites can check out any of the following during their stay here:
- goggles, anti-fog
- helmets
- ski-boots
- ski-poles
- ski-wax
- skis
- snowboards
- snowshoes
All of those can be 3D-printed and serviced/repaired both here and at/from our Gear Factory.
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Special Features:
Year-’round skiing and snowboarding is here, thanks to our local/gods-level climate-control and ground-conditions control.
Some of the areas of snow along these ski lanes are softly bioluminescent at night, appearing to subtly glow deep from within. Bay-window jacuzzis in all perimeter suites provide incredible views of this side of Inisfree’s central mountain, and an entire town of quaint colonial and old European houses and shoppes is arranged like a strip-mall right behind the main building of this area.
* The main building includes the club Valkyrie Vixens.
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History:
Built (3D-printed) in 2011, it was furnished in 2012. Wall art has slowly been added over the years since. With so many thousands of rooms, there are no plans to expand this facility –ever.
In the 2020s, this quickly became a hotspot for Winter Sports/Olympics training and games.
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Location & Layout:
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Comparison:
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Staff:
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Exterior Features:
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Overall Interior:
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Wall Art:
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Other Decorations:
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Bathrooms:
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Modern Fashions Here:
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Crafts:
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Not Chair-lifts, but Booth-lifts:
All of these have HVAC and heated seats.
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2021 Update:
In the 2020s, Auz finally had regular skiing and snowboarding lessons; here. They were always with (hosted by) sexy female instructors; pro “ski bunnies”… who encouraged him to fuck them after every practice/ski-run. This is Inisfree. Amen.
(He and they have ‘christened’ dozens of the rooms/suites in this ski-hotel by now, and will have ‘christened’ them all through the decades, centuries, and millennia ahead.)
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2022: Scale-model in Minecraft
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2023: Inspiration from the Warren Miller Lodge
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2024 June: Always-snowy Explanation
While the map might look a little unrealistic because of all the snow down just this strip of the central mountain, the reason this is actually possible is because the central mountain has frequent snow and indefinite snow patches just about everywhere within that altitude bracket. It’s just that the ski lanes are the part of its altitude bracket which are cleared/void of any trees, thus the snow there is much more apparent from any angle/viewpoint.
The snowmaking machines on the sides of the ski lanes, and the surface-terrain temperature-regulating underground-silos also do their parts to keep this part of our central mountain perfectly cold so that fallen snow stays stuck where it has fallen.
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Also see:
- “Skiers Jump OVER A Chairlift! Best Party Lap Ever?”
- Lapland’s “Santa Claus Village”; for concepts now being applied to Valhalla 2’s exteriors and interiors
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