For those of you just now tuning in, I love to spice up sustainability advising with the kind of offensive comedy you might get from Tosh.0, and with the steamy stuff that really makes most people feel complete and alive. In short, I cuss, I vent, I show raw emotion, I don’t hold back or care what anyone thinks, and I am completely open and unapologetic -shameless- about what appeals to me. What used to be a dry topic only the rich hippies were really into, I have turned into something which could be described as Earthship Biotecture meets Game of Thrones.
If you were expecting another cookie-cutter P-C website, this aint it. This is real-talk. This is the next level.
It didn’t all start when I was young; I have had many interests over the decades, first to just hang out with my friends and do well in school, then to try and prove myself to those who kept misunderstanding my innocent, adventurous, and love-based actions. I thought I might marry my high school sweetheart and be a fireman or pilot. A lot got thrown in the way of those early hopes and dreams, though, so I began to adjust to being left with no choice but to let go of many people and things, over and over, “pivoting” as some call it.
Holding on, sometimes waiting for years for various things to get better or heal, and praying… were what I used to resort to and hope would work. Life taught me the hard way that the only way to keep going and making it… was not to explain myself to those who kept getting the simplest and most obvious concepts wrong, and not to wait for those who showed no signs of changing, caring, or supporting my work. I was upset a lot back then, always at them, and often at myself, but a little less every time I got put through that lesson.
My intention has always been to rally people who might make good teammates and enjoy motivating each other to get in fantastic physical shape and see the world. That used to mean exercising and sparring with friends and classmates. Then it began to mean networking to find business partners, and after that I decided to seek out those who shared my passion to go as far as was needed to uncover all the rest of lost history, including that which actually maintains health and cures things.
I worked with the scraps and bullshit I was given.
I only asked for help when things got dire.
I did my best to be as helpful as possible everywhere I had to go, and to be quiet and leave little trace.
I took the time to spell out in exhaustive detail all my plans, reasoning, evidence, and the many different people I was hoping to get to work with. I wrote novels and nearly 2,000 webpages full of content about all that (and rebuilt them all –twice). I made and kept my entire trajectory as transparent, public, and accessible as I knew how. What you see here is my final attempt and offer at communication. If anyone gets it, great. If not, no matter; I’m proceeding.
All I ever asked for was normal health, normal manners, and a place that is truly my own. The opposite of all that kept being put upon me. Two-way communication had no effect on any of that.
Many people along the way have pestered me to abandon my calling and just breed. Many have assumed horrible things about me, insulted me, even threatened my life. Honestly, I’ve been shocked and disappointed -ashamed- at how the majority in just about every city and town have thought, erred, destroyed their own health, and abused their power. (There were some good ones along the way, of course, but holy fucking crap; the bad ones were as sinister as can be –and seeing the almost-good ones losing their way over and over was heartwrenching.)
To answer the most common questions and address the most common misconceptions, I will just post here that the reason I stopped initiating conversations with people was because of all that back-to-back disrespect, irresponsibility, and mindlessness, and all those attacks, scams, and even poisonings. I used to warmly initiate with everyone (and I went out of my way, above and beyond, pushing through my own worries and other issues, to talk with perhaps millions, as many as I could), eager to meet every new face, shake hands, and tell my story –and to hear them tell theirs. A man can only endure so many thousands of instances of severe misbehavior, personality disorders, eating disorders, cult brainwashing, and reproduction-obsessions… before accepting the reality that talking just had no point, let alone any benefits, at least back then and for now.
So many defaulted to their worst nightmares and panicking, no matter how well I had conducted myself, how hard I had worked for or with them, or how wholeheartedly and precisely I had explained everything every time they made a mistake or feared. With all my education, public speaking practice, and heart, …to still be encountering that madness in all those people… made me realize they would only ever understand and believe me… if they matured on their own –or had my same inner goodness. (That was something I could not give to them; they would have to develop it on their own.)
It still baffles me how any of them thought I was anything other than a good man doing his best to study, start businesses, employ his friends, make new friends, and start a healthy community. For them to assume all the bad things about a guy who had spent his whole youth and adulthood doing everything he could to improve himself and help (and with an extensive academic- and track-record to confirm all that), …I guess that just says it all about the mental state of the masses right now. It says a lot about what a complete failure their educational- and belief systems are. They prematurely judged, alienated, and many times nearly killed the one person who had been devoted to protecting, teaching, and embracing them.
I no longer accept any calls or texts; there were just too many unsolicited and inappropriate ones. I no longer believe any trade-in or veteran-assistance offers; far too many of those were bait, too. The only way I’ll respond to anything or anyone is if they do what I have been all this time; they’ll have to make the effort to travel to me, vibe pure and true like me, and demonstrate they are fit, smart, and likeminded, ready to team up for all the right reasons.
Now for the hot topic.
When big pharma launched that blatant campaign to terrorize and force as many as possible into doing the unhealthiest things ever (though it certainly was a clever and effective strategy to create new customers and re-boost their ‘snake oil’ sales), and when an app was remotely put on my old phone without my consent, I decided I had waited long enough to complete the next leg of my journey, and that there might not be another opportunity. I left the United States with no intention of ever returning, determined not to get stuck in any way, nor again stalled for even one moment by the endless all-talkers –nor purged with the rest in their latest self-holocaust. I made it thousands of miles away once again, scouting far and wide while regularly updating as many behind me as were interested, and was just a few more days from reaching the southernmost town where I had planned to relocate to until I could get to Antarctica. I held on out there past the drug war zones as long as I could, alone, for almost a full year, and conditions were terrible, taxing me with months of sleep deprivation and worse, eventually draining my resources and forcing a regrouping. So many barfed up excuses why they were choosing not to rendezvous in a timely manner. So many also posted absolutely inappropriate garbage on my page, some even trying to gaslight me for whatever reason.
Unsurprisingly, I also found lots of disgraceful nonsense when I finally got back, and had to abandon numerous attempted lodging arrangements, getting hit with yet another wave of severe rudeness and betrayals from veterans, veteran organizations, and even old friends. I turned to my vehicle and camping for a while. Then I managed to shimmy my way into a decent place all my own, and got back to working on what matters. Fuck me, what a shitty ride.
Part of my original plan was to recruit fellow veterans for my expeditions and community construction, and to help others start their own similar homesteads and communities, but too many proved bizarre, disloyal, and ultimately loose-cannons who would only have been liabilities. I had also wanted to re-stabilize my home country in multiple ways, but without any support for that… I had to keep pivoting and focusing only on myself. Another part had been to mobilize a modern exodus of everyone who felt the same way and who had discovered the same problem/s; I was ready to lead many people to unclaimed lands to start anew, so far from all the entrenched bullies… that our new communities could finally exist in peace and thrive.
There won’t be such a mass-migration now; I would never subject myself or others to the shit-show I kept having to exfiltrate from all along the different routes I probed and drove for years. I would also never again subject myself to the low-caliber, toxic people who keep rejecting all my offers and honest words. I’m going to keep doing what I do… alone, at least until I finally meet some who are sane, informed, and choosing to behave with admirable manners. I’m also going to be bypassing or skipping huge portions of the final route; there’s no logic in trying again to push and wade through all those fools who lined up to try and distract, corrupt, scare, and stop me.
I’ve always “jumped” every time an opportunity presents itself, and I will continue to; my own exodus shall go on. I’ve also always offered love and rejected anything less; no matter how many jerks I’ve had to deal with, I keep treating others how I would want to be treated. I hate every time I am left with no options -due to fools blockading the way- but I always end up taking a breather and pivoting in ways which allow me to re-center and further build up my pitch deck and portfolio –and I’m doing that again right now, even as you’re reading this.
To those who doubted me or accused me of BS, shame on you. Grow up. You will never get such charity from me again.
To those who dicked up parts of my epic and noble journey, the same. There will come a time when the tables turn on you, and powers you cannot bully park themselves in your way even worse.
To those who began showing up but not talking, man up. I initiated for decades, and now it is your turn. I dumped a fortune traveling the world to find and meet and thank you, and I only switched to politely waiting for others to decide when to initiate… after countless reacted immaturely or creepily. Sense the clear vibe that I am being patient and giving you the reins in that regard, and either show me you know how to speak… or stop wasting both our time with lackluster passes.
I have consistently demonstrated throughout my life that I will invest every last penny I can find… into higher education, exploration, and risking my own life just to find my “soul tribe”, no matter where they may be; I have the best of intentions. The least you can do is make yourself presentable and strike up a kind conversation when I arrive. Don’t leave me hangin’ and leaving with a disgusted, disappointed frown. You don’t even have to “meet me halfway”; I literally keep circling the whole planet, going 99% of the way, leaving that final 1% up to each of you.
For those who keep trying to get my attention, only manners and support of my life’s work will. For those wanting to be part of my family, I have maintained my position that my community will be built first, thereby ensuring the best possible future for my destined family –plus ensuring I am not distracted from focusing on my loved ones at that point; the hard work will already be done this way, I then able to delegate much of the rest of it, freeing up big chunks of my time. There isn’t going to be any “but what about this instead/first?” –so you can join forces with me and earn our future, or keep spinning your tires and impaling yourself on my position.
If you don’t at least say the basics; “Hi. My name is…”, we won’t talk. If you don’t team up, I’ll go without you. I don’t care how many times it takes; I will keep going, team or not.
Trying to get me to play a game of cave and chase won’t work, either. I have disregarded and shut down ‘perfect tens’ in every state and country all along the way. Even the woman of my dreams knows that now; no matter who shows up or how gorgeous they look or how Siren-quality their voices are, only respectfully introducing yourself and substantially teaming up will win me over, period, model or not, goddess or not, rich or not, you name it.
I laid enough pipe -more than everyone I know, combined- to know that giving in to that lame game of chase, and “bait and switch”, only leads to less money and more chasing –and a complete stalling and derailing of whatever I was working on before. No matter how hot any of them were or are, no amount of hotness or even compatibility is worth sacrificing irreplaceable time and the purpose of my life. I haven’t been impressed or even satisfied with what I found and tried, anyway; I feel and see no motivation to sample further. No one is getting the benefit of the doubt anymore; from now on, everyone will just have to bring great stuff to the proverbial table, over and over, every time we meet.
Don’t assume I am rude just because you don’t understand me yet. Don’t tell me how to think or feel. Don’t try to get me to change all I am and just breed prematurely. Ask me good questions with the intent to listen, learn, and understand. Show me you have taken the time to read up on my life’s work; know what you are talking about before you decide to open your noise-hole. Honor my culture when you come to see me. (If not, why did you bother coming?) Find what you can do differently or better, so that we can get along and pull off wonders. Above all else, know from what I keep doing that I will keep going alone if I have to; I will not wait, and I will always say, “Fuck it.”
When my childhood “relatives” kept having bully tantrums, I said, “Fuck it.” and left them. When the military turned out to be too full of punks causing their own problems, I said, “Fuck it.” again. When I earned degrees and certifications, but still wasn’t hired based on my training and experience, I kept saying, “Fuck it.” I kept pivoting as many times as it took, whether that meant relocating, cutting dead-weight, trying new fields, or whatever else was necessary to make ends meet.
I never thought I would have been made to say those words about my exodus idea, as well, but here we are. I never thought I would be made to say them when I cut every last tie and launched all by myself, either. I guess they are good to keep saying, though; it prevents years-long delays like in my desperate childhood and other times, allowing me instead to progress on.
Another rude person or town? Fuck it. I extract whatever few good things I noticed there, pack back up, and move on.
Another scam or other setback? Another demand from an idiot who has no legitimate authority? Fuck it. I ignore them, sidestep, and continue.
Another global fail-train of unprecedented retardation? Fuck it. I can wait; I’m busy as fuck, anyway, whether mobile or not.
I didn’t stop when I had internal injuries. I didn’t stop when corrupt authorities threatened and illegally fined me. I didn’t stop when I had to have major surgery and restart brutal training that some weren’t even living through. I didn’t stop when I was deployed to war and threatened by idiots in my own squad. I didn’t stop when I got poisoned. I didn’t stop when I was kept below the poverty line and homeless. I didn’t stop when no mechanic could fix my vehicle for 11 years. I didn’t stop when there was a chance I might freeze to death in the arctic. I didn’t stop when machinegun trucks across the border kept pulling me over, checking all traffic for drugs and wondering why I looked so weird with all my facial hair and tattoos. I didn’t stop when babe after babe tried to tempt me into changing course to chase them. I didn’t stop when every last curious and hopeful person chose to chicken out. I didn’t stop when startups and investments failed. And now that the whole world -every country along my original planned exodus route- decided to shut down their own borders, tank their own economies, and genocide their own people, guess what? I still haven’t stopped, and I will always find another way. Fuck it; I’ll carry on regardless, no matter what comes my way. Even the gods can get the hell out of my way if they are ‘too good’ to help.
I’ll sneak through or around every country if I have to, and swim to Antarctica if nothing else works. I’ll crawl and drag myself to my mountain. I’ll build my community by clawing it out of the ice and rock with my bare hands. Fuck it. I will manifest and complete this dream. Amen (meaning: “so be it”; nothing religious here).
Shit has been lonely here and there, but it was worse when I relentlessly and tirelessly kept trying to team up when everyone just wasn’t ready. It was also frustrating as hell when visually-flawless people, like perfected manifestations of my favorite characters, started appearing in person, …only to chicken out or otherwise let me down. Fuck it; I moved on.
Having only primitive tools and programs available to build and publish my vision and design was also pretty upsetting. I trained my mind to lean toward the positives of it, though; to how it kept things simple and easy for anyone at all to check out if they wanted. Fuck it; I worked with what I had.
All those “fuck it”s have now left me with the best rest, sleep, and recovery of my life, plus a massive interactive computer model of my entire life’s work, plus terabytes of content now organized and online (some of it queued -until now- since as far back as the early 2000s), plus more books in my series, plus hundreds of personally-tested vegan grocery products I’m learning how to make myself. I have never had such a tidal wave of ideas and progress. My blood still boils at being back here after nearly reaching the biggest of my milestones, but when I finally get to go that last bit of the way… I will have all these major accomplishments reinforcing those upcoming steps.
Tonight I am gathering more intel’ and footage about one of the possible regions I previously attempted to get through. I’ll be waking early tomorrow and sticking to my balanced daily routine of updates, working out, and hiking with my favorite expedition gear, as I think about what I have most recently learned. My notes and other items keep stacking up, eventually bound to erupt into another chapter of movement around the Earth, just like they always have.
The only thing I am wondering is… when will those perfect manifestations of my dream-team members decide to say, “Fuck it,” themselves; “now is the time; I have made him and myself wait long enough, I have given him enough time and space to get all caught up with his projects, I will swallow my pride, default to assuming the positive about his current quiet stance, and introduce myself once and for all.” I’d like to discuss with them what milestones and pivoting they themselves have been resorting to and pulling off. I remain curious, hopeful, and eager to talk and work with them –when they show me they are ready, not merely making cameos in my life.
For those who want to know my money is where my mouth is (if that isn’t already very obvious), vibe right and I will show you the new discussions server and computer model I built during this year since my regrouping. Chip in and I will reveal all the other big steps, too. Go with me when I launch again, and start my community with me, and I will be your ally for the rest of time.
In the meantime, I will continue mentally saying to myself, “Fuck it.” as a few more ‘living speedbumps’ and useless types smear by. I will continue letting my valid emotions have their moments. I will continue these one-way communications here (again, since I got spammed so much until I began screening everything and requiring all-positive in-person contact). I will continue harnessing and channeling my understandably ‘boiled’ blood into more and more milestones and preparations. And, of course, I will continue talking mad counter-shit to anyone and everyone who did to me.
Another thousand updates are staged and in progress.
The vision and goal remain.
My standard is uncompromised.
A°
