This is our main printing press, and where MKM physical copies get made and put on our semis for delivery.
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Table of Contents:
- Backstory
- Dimensions
- Layout
- All Products
- Traffic by Year
- Additional Notes
- Novels Excerpt
- MKM Link
- 2021 Update: Celebrating the First Truckload
- 2022 Update: More History and Technology
- 2023 Update: Feeding Our People
- Location & Overall (Images Begin)
- The Printers
- The Trucks and Loading
- 2023 Update: 2022 Scale-model in Minecraft
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Backstory:
Originally just a handful of comic-strip sketches done in a bombed-out military base in the heart of Iraq, that first work has grown into a magazine of more than 90 issues, each with several different comic strips by just as many artists, as well as thought-provoking articles, short stories, advertisements, advertisement parodies, original artwork, and more. In its conception, this magazine (called MKM) was intended for a target audience of active-duty military personnel with both combatant specialties and merrily dark senses of humor.
Now, however, MKM appeals to more than a billion people from numerous worlds across the Verse, so instead of having one staff member send out a few dozen bulk e-mails of digital copies of the scanned pages from each issue, an entire factory in Inisfree is reserved exclusively for MKM’s mass-production and mass-distribution; this Distribution Port, as it was originally called when the first map/layout of this city was sketched via colored pencils.
For those who prefer the old-fashioned ‘hard copy’; the magazines printed on ‘funnybook’ paper sheets and collated, Inisfree’s own fleet of commercial cargo trucks (all made at the Automated Government Vehicles Plant on the other side of the city, and all fitted standard with Repulsines, of course) makes regular deliveries from this facility to a great many major cities on garden worlds much like Earth. For those who prefer digital copies, they can download or browse a copy of any MKM issue directly to their iScrolls or other devices.
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Dimensions:
This facility measures 990′ x 990′ across its base, giving it just over 980,000 square feet of floor-space per story. With its hangar-sized rooms, the building is 100′ tall, but because it is almost entirely underground and half covered in a turf roof, it appears to be only one story tall; about ten feet peeking up above the ground and its surrounding parking spaces.
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Layout:
The underground portion of this building (which is 9/10 of the total structure) houses the world’s largest laser printer; a printing press as big as a commercial passenger jet, along with all of the robotic-arm assembly lines and other machinery that help turn blank magazine paper on spools the size of hay bales… into the 8.5″x11″, fully illustrated pages that end up identically and perfectly dried in every single issue’s copy of this now literally universal sensation in written and drawn satire.
The topside (above ground level) portion of this building is a standard-sized (10′ tall) story where the palettes of finished products (dried, cooled, stacked, aligned, and shrink-wrapped magazines) are lined up and staged in waiting to be loaded onto Inisfree’s fleet of commercial cargo trucks.
Raw materials are subatomically sung into existence from slush matter in the 3D-printing vats on the bottom factory floor, the spools of paper are made from this, as are the ink cartridges and the inks which fill them, and then they are robotically transported up into warehouse-style shelves and cages on the next floor up.
Once a truck shows up and brings its tail end to one of the loading docks on the top floor (just about ground level), Inisfreeans (ICVs) open the corresponding garage-style roll-up door, walk the scheduled palettes (over the rollers built into the floor) into the truck’s freight compartment, close and lock the truck’s Own roll-up door, and carry on with their other tasking as workers in this Distribution Port. The truckers –who are always ICVs– drive the magazine shipments out through a commercial-sized highway-traffic portal accessible only inside the Highway Pyramid deep in the heavily protected Inisfreean Military Region of the city, and return from their Outland drop-off destinations through this same portal.
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All Products:
This is not just where we print physical copies of our first magazine; many other types of literature are also 3D-printed by this facility.
- books for any of our in-person / ‘brick-and-mortar’ libraries
- vegan cookbooks offered on some of our grocery store shelves*
- wall-art such as posters and printed paintings, commonly used to decorate our apartments, our ryokans, and our ski-resort
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*2024 May: my very own cookbook; “Auz’s Favorite Recipes“: all my favorite vegan recipes discovered and tried at home over the years –There are no paragraphs introducing the recipe, rambling about how amazing it is or where I discovered it; just the recipes and great presentation photos, as well as photos of each major step of each recipe.
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Traffic by Year:
Cargo trucks at this facility were few and far between in the first years of Inisfree going operational; just one during all of 2016, none before, and only one convoy per week during 2050. The physical-copy issues of the magazine, series of novels, and other printed literature created and vouched for by the Governor and his Inisfreeans continued to pile up on the many racks and palettes inside, though. No matter how much demand increased, there was never any backlog or other delay; everything was pre-staged and ready to go.
- 2016: This is the time of the first shipment of MKM issues; just one cargo truck heading to New (post-2013 rebuilt) Los Angeles, driven by a fire-team of Inisfreean-born girls, and driven back with that same team.
- 2017: This is the time of the first convoy of non-military vehicles passed through this portal; the next MKM shipment, this one also heading to New Los Angeles, also driven (there and back) by a fire-team of Inisfreean-born girls (which became the SOP there-to-forth).
- 2018: This is the time monthly convoys of non-military vehicles became part of the schedule; 13 convoys per year; one for each of the 28-days-long Inisfreean months; dozens of non-military cargo trucks in total.
- ~2050: This is the time weekly convoys of non-military vehicles became part of the schedule; 52 convoys per year; hundreds of non-military cargo trucks in total (shipping not only MKM’s printed issues, but also some of the kajirae trained in Inisfree (for Outlander clients), and the occasional custom luxury vehicle for a subordinate Outland king).
- ~2250: This is the time daily convoys of non-military vehicles became part of the schedule; 365 convoys per year; thousands of non-military cargo trucks in total.
- ~7050: This is the time hourly convoys of non-military vehicles became part of the schedule; 8,760 convoys per year, tens of thousands of non-military cargo trucks in total.
- ~14500: This is the time bi-hourly convoys of non-military vehicles became part of the schedule; 17,520 convoys per year, hundreds of thousands of non-military cargo trucks in total.
- ~20500 A.D.: This is the time convoys of non-military vehicles passing through this Highway Pyramid portal nearly once each minute became part of the schedule; 525,600 convoys per year, millions of non-military cargo trucks in total.
So Inisfree had tens of millennia to fine-tune and regularly upgrade this facility, allowing it plenty of time to keep pace with the growing demand for MKM and its other printed products. Its traffic was always evenly-dispersed, surgically managed by the city’s main computer, working together with all the supercomputer-brains of its cargo-truck drivers. At projected full-tilt/capacity (all those thousands of years ahead), with its 50 truck-ports and loading-bays, and a convoy of at least three leaving Inisfree about every minute, each truck still had ~15 minutes it could park and be loaded by the flawlessly-efficient, speedy, tireless Inisfreeans working here, and that was more than enough time to do the job right… every time.
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Additional Notes:
Amazon (the company) has computers that tell its workers which shelves to put seemingly random items on; their placement is based on the shapes (forms) of their boxes/packaging, and the computer program figures out the most efficient way to have them shelved and stacked. This is to maximize storage-space per facility; there are very few, if any, empty spaces above items on any given shelf. Proven to sometimes double the used space within a facility, Inisfree was quick to adopt the technology, and it has worked.
Each truck garage-door here is for a different zip-code or other major-region of customers in the Outlands. While this fluctuates from time to time, and exceptions can always be made to keep the flow of products and transports going, it helps keep things very organized and predictable. You can count on just about all traffic going out a particular door to be delivered to the same city or group of suburbs subscribing to MKM.
Only people come and go through our airports; packages are only aboard our trucks. This is so no one can smuggle drugs in, or souvenirs out. If Inisfree makes a product approved for use outside the city, it has to go through the Highway Pyramid portal to exit (and to come back in, should servicing be requested), and if it is a printed product (such as a book or magazine) it has to go through this facility, from 3D-printers to truck-bays to our trucks, then out the same way as the other approved products.
Inisfree has a fleet of automated trucks; cargo vehicles that drive themselves with the help of A.I., as well as an ICV or two as backups/copilots (though more often just needed to help load/unload palettes). These trucks are as efficient as can be; they never need to stop for rest or gas, and can convoy closely (tailgating) to cut down on wind resistance, thereby saving on the energy it takes to keep them in motion. (Thanks to their electrogravitic/repulsine tech’, they are not limited by brakes-based stopping-distances, and they are never at risk of jackknifing.) Automated vehicles also greatly reduce both actual and potential driver injuries, such as from accidents or from just sitting too long ‘at the wheel’. If you see a line of trucks driving very close, front to back, as you make your way along one of the city’s highway sections, now you know why they are driving that way –and how.
Returning vehicles and convoys get cleaned up and inspected at the Vehicles Service Line –as needed; as our tech’ and methods improve, these vehicles will need such servicing less and less often. (Our portals are getting so precise that not even grime can make it through them; everything not an IC or welcome guest/import automatically gets knocked/’brushed’ off during passage through the portals of our realm.)
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2024 August:
- Like all our vehicles, and similar to some Outlander EVs, the cargo trucks used here are pretty much silent whether they are idling or driving normally.
- Our cargo trucks aren’t just braking via the cab/semi, but all wheels; trailer and all, thus their ability to slow down and stop is dramatically greater than Outlander semis hauling trailers/cargo.
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Novels Excerpt:
They would be eating dinner in the neighboring factory of the Kno Facility. This adjacent factory printed and shipped out all the hard-copy issues of Auz‘s own magazine. It was called MKM.
MKM stood for Mein Komedy Magazine, and was a play on the well-known book Mein Kampf, which meant “My Struggle”. It was dreamed up amidst fellow warriors during their first combat deployment, and kept them busy like illustrating children between missions throughout the war-zones. MKM focused on intentionally-controversial humor, thought-provoking articles, parodies of advertisements, and showing how all those things had progressed throughout its years of publication. There were now more than 90 issues in print, spanning six seasons separated by periods of two years.
Not a single tree had ever been cut down to make the paper for any of the MKM pages, nor for any of the other pages of the other printed works across Inisfree. Every book, poster, and magazine in their entire city had been made from something else, and made to look and feel similar to paper, though it would never burn, nor easily tear. Material such as sugar cane bagasse, husks, and straw had been used, along with fiber crops and wild plants, such as bamboo, kenaf, hemp, jute, and flax. Every plant that grew something capable of being made into non-wood paper was kept alive and well.
Dinner was cooked fresh and served by some of the Inisfreean girls working there. They wore aprons, chef hats, and were barefoot, the factory-floor, cold concrete though it was, still feeling wonderful for them. Their guests were all surprised to find that the snacks, meals, and drinks offered in Inisfree’s factories were as good as the finest restaurants from around the world; the Inisfreeans made sure to treat all their people, workers included, like goddesses and gods. Nothing less would do.
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Want to see MKM for yourself?
Take a look right here.
This magazine of ours doesn’t include confidential/private information; it’s largely memes from the Outlands which we have collected and put to use. That means MKM is one of the few productions from our realm which any Outlander is welcome to view.
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2021 Update: Celebrating the First Truckload
Remember, Inisfree is Heaven on Earth, meaning there are no incompatibilities or inhibitions here. Even when it comes to our factories and trucking, we are fully healthy, fully open, fully connected with each other. You are about to read just exactly what that means.
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To us Inisfreeans, the culture of the outsiders is strange and primitive, barbaric and dark, even. Ours is entirely logical and normal. Prudish outsiders might see our ways as too sexually open, but we see their status quo of enslaving animals and slaughtering their babies for toxic meat no one needs… as bizarre and as evil as it gets; it is truly insane for others to judge us for being loving with each other and fully balanced, sexuality and all, while they go about kidnapping, raping, and murdering countless sentient beings every moment of every day… for things they don’t need, and which cause their lifespans to be dramatically reduced by. ‘Funny’ how the violent evildoers with excuses and false logic… like to attempt to discredit and shame those who are living normal, healthy, love-based lives –but it is no surprise; those who do harm to others… are naturally going to keep trying to harm us and everyone else, even with their words (insults, bluffs/threats, slander, etc.), always trying to get us to become as unhealthy and violent as them. With that in mind, read ahead.
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It is illegal to be ugly in Inisfree, and all our truck and bus drivers look like teenage supermodel girls. This is because we do not tolerate anything but complete health, and complete health includes a perfectly-formed body; beauty (for females; vs. handsomeness for males), which is on the outside. (Character is on the inside.)
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For the first convoy of cargo trucks heading out of Inisfree this month, I, King Auz, walked the line of them staged to exit the MKM Distribution Center’s wide parking lot, each semi with its doors open, a team of two skimpy-outfitted ICVs sitting up in it. They eagerly spread their legs for me so I could finger them around the material of their cheerleader shorts. (We don’t high-five much at all in Inisfree; we connect sexually instead.) Then they lifted up their skintight midriff-exposing t-shirts so I could suck their B-cups nipples. (This is a common greeting and courtesy in our realm, as we are a fully-compatible people.) After that, we open-mouthed kissed and they closed their cab doors to get ready to drive out. (Inisfreeans almost never just “peck” lips or on the cheek; we go “all out” with everything we do.)
I stood at the exit and waved to each one as they drove past, and they all blew kisses after holding the peace sign near their tongues, making that pussy-licking expression to further please me. Then their focus was on the road, though their trucks, being made in Inisfree, came standard with auto-driver A.I. features, so it was really three drivers in one, resulting in incredible –flawless– precision and safety. We like to share and hold and assist our visions/efforts like that, doing them in groups of a prime number of individuals, three being our most basic one.
All of them had put on double-dildo panties for the duration of the drive miles along our highway to and through the pyramid portal out to their Outlands drop-off destination. This helps them feel their best and focus, not constantly distracted by our sky-high levels of natural/automatic Vril/Kundalini/Chi/Orgone/sex-drive. They wear them in our school and military formations, too, just like many of our kenneled kajirae are made to (and enjoy).
They then had creampie orgies with all the receivers and purchasers out there as our way if completing a shipment (meaning the clients/customers that requested/paid for this shipment… all got to cum inside these female truck drivers once they had unloaded their shipment/s; the ICVs unloaded the products, and then the receivers of those products “unloaded” into them). Again, this is a standard Inisfreean practice; we don’t do business with anyone we aren’t fully compatible with, and “fully compatible” means sexually, which is the highest level of compatibility. That happens to be our baseline / bare minimum, so all our meetings and deliveries and hangouts, you name it, include that, not just a handshake or “thank you” like asexual/prudish/incompatible Outlander/Earth humans default to.
When they returned, deliveries complete, they drove those semis back to this Distribution Center and parked them perfectly, then stood in a line in the parking lot in front of them, and I triggered all their double-dildo panties to squirt out all the synth-cum that they had been filled with before being issued (adding that cum to the cum from all the clients out there who had “busted” in them in thanks/exchange/”tips”). All the ICVs purred and moaned when I triggered that, and let their shapely tan teen legs shake visible for me, knowing that I loved and “got off” to that. Then I helped them strip before a naked walk into the facility, where we all sat down on couches, legs wide, so I could fuck all that synth-cum deeper into them, and then all of them lick-cleaned it out, at which point we refilled their panties’ dildos to squirt some more while they took turns licking their pussies and assholes while those successive squirts began to drip out, many of them standing bold-legged over each others mouths. I fucked all of their mouths, pussies, and assholes this day, since that is how we worship, give thanks, honor each other, and get paid. (There is no paper or metal money in Inisfree.)
After that congratulatory return hangout at this factory, we all slept naked together on my giant bed in my private mansion high on our central mountain’s slope. This is how trucking is done in Inisfree. Amen.
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2022 Update: More History and Technology
Originally just for printing copies of MKM, this place became where we also printed copies of all the books now in our “Library of Congress II” building, ICGM Library, and home library/book-rooms.
At capacity in ~23000-24000 A.D., based on the convoys then, ~2,000,000 cargo trucks/shipments per year moving MKM hard-copies and other printed literature from this facility = 40,000,000 pallets (2M truckloads/containers x ~20 pallets).
40M pallets means (40M x ~700 books, or x ~1,000 printed copies of MKM) ~40,000,000,000 issues of MKM (and that means billions of people outside Inisfree, who are not approved to come into Inisfree, are still benefitting from our content over the years).
40B magazines printed during those later years = ~109,589,041 printed each day here; ~4,566,210/hour; ~76,103/minute.
To achieve that printing speed/capacity, we have numerous rows/lines of 3D-printers printing copies simultaneously alongside one another, and other automated devices checking what is printed, then stacking it neatly on pallets, wrapping/sealing those pallets, etc..
How does that compare to human printing-press speed/factories? A normal Outlands printing-press, based on 1990-2020s speed/s, can produce ~2,500 books/hour, or ~50,000 in a ~20-hour work-day. During Inisfree’s first few decades, we operated at a comparable speed/capacity, as we had little reason to increase our capability beyond just occasionally further-stocking our own bookshelves/libraries here.
If all 2,000,000,000 people allowed to visit Inisfree each wanted a monthly MKM copy for themselves, to print and deliver all those copies to their home-worlds (since only ~1/13 of those people are usually ever Inisfree at the same time), it would take [~several days to print and deliver copies to the ~153,846,153 people in Inisfree at any given time/month at-capacity in those millennia ahead] and [~a few weeks in total to get the rest printed and trucked out of Inisfree to the people not currently in our realm].
(2B copies at the rate of ~76,103/minute = 26,280 minutes for this facility to print that many copies; 438 hours; 18.25 Earth-days)
This means that this facility will be, in those millennia ahead, in a nearly-constant state of printing, loading trucks, and conducting maintenance on returning convoys.
How many floors will be added over the millennia? We anticipate keeping the current 10-floor building, just adding more printing-presses (3D-printers designed for making magazines and books) as demand increases.
Our trucks are/have/include A.I.; they are conscious and can drive themselves.
Working with their driver and co-driver ICVs, they (each truck and its two ICVs) are a team of three –three supercomputers with invincibility and lightning-fast reflexes/processing power).
The ICVs share a consciousness with them via the I.N.N., and this allows the ICVs assigned to drive each truck the ability to feel what it feels, thus helping them plan and adjust pallet loading for ideal weight distribution.
Built-in Repulsines in each truck help cancel out most of the weight of the cargo, and dramatically reduce the potential for braking failure and jackknifing.
For parking those trucks when they are back in Inisfree, we now have an underground parking-garage as part of this facility. With a convoy of ~3 trucks leaving every minute in ~23000 A.D., and needing ~half an hour to exit Inisfree and arrive at their destination/s in the Outlands, followed by another ~half hour to return, we’ll need/have ~180-228 of these trucks of ours, assuming they can run nonstop; that’s back-to-back returns and new drives/shipments. Since we want to inspect and service them before and after each drive/shipment, and when adding in ‘lag’ (room for surprises/delays out there), let’s say we’ll want to have closer to ~500 of these vehicles.
500 cargo trucks capable of transporting a 40′ shipping-container full of ~20 pallets of magazines/books
x 495 sq. ft. (the [~55′ x ~9′] ‘footprint’ of each of this type of truck) = 247,500 sq. ft.
Add in space around those ‘footprints’ to help with parking and dispersion (making their parking-spaces more like 900 sq. ft.; ~60′ x ~15′), and we then have a need for 450,000 sq. ft. of parking space,
thus our parking-garage (with additional space now added for lanes to drive to those spaces) spans ~500,000 square feet.
(On our map, if a square, that would be ~707′ x ~707′, thus taking up an 11×11 pixel/green-dot area, and that fits neatly atop this facility, thus the uppermost / above-ground area can be used for all the parking spaces of these trucks we use.)
Now multiply that many trucks x 20 pallets x 1,000 magazines; with 500 of these trucks, we can move ~10,000,000 hardcopies of an MKM issue at any time, limited only by how many of these trucks can safely drive in-convoy on our highway system at once (which includes the factor of how many can pass through a portal (of our Highway Pyramid) opened to connect to one destination at a time).
Why use a technology as old-fashioned as cargo-trucks when we have ‘flying saucers’ and portals now? One of our SOPs/subroutines is to reveal as little about our technology/capabilities as possible, at all times. This means flying as seldom as possible, opening portals as seldom as possible, and making ourselves look like the ‘normal’ ‘rest of the world’ as often as possible, at least within reason (meaning we may drive cargo trucks from time to time, but we will still keep our bodies in flawless shape; we don’t mimic everything).
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2023 Update: Feeding Our People
In the millennia ahead, when our residents-and-guests population begins to surpass Inisfree’s capacity to grow all the food they need, we will begin using our fleet of cargo trucks (based/stationed at this facility) to transport food here (to Inisfree) grown from our ships and Inisfree-like cities in S.S.A., though millions of our residents will be living in those other places, thus getting their food directly from them, little trade/shipping needed back here.
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Location & Overall:
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The Printers:
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The Trucks and Loading:
Mini cameras (the kind often on nicer Outlands personal automobiles) are on all sides of all our vehicles, including these cargo trucks of ours, ensuring there are no blind-spots, not even beneath them; they have undercarriage cams.
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2023 Update: 2022 Scale-model in Minecraft
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